Talking Aziz-cusations. Is it okay to pleasure yourself to deceased adult film stars? We ask one. A surprise caller calls and its the best and worst. One of the weirdest eps, but one of my favorites. A mom needs some hotline help. Zoey Monroe Insta (enter at your own risk): https://www.instagram.com/mszoeymonroe/?hl=en Hotline: 985-664-9503 Support Grey Block Pizza: https://www.greyblockpizza.com Patreon Support: https://www.patreon.com/theovon Thank You Chris Perez. Kaz. Bud Galloway. Sherbbbbbb. Gunto Gunterson Strikes Again: Matthew Snow Renee Nicol Ryan Wolfe Angelo Raygun Carla Huffman Robyn Tatu Beau Adams Yoga Max Bowden Shawn-Leigh henry Roar Hanasand Laura Williams Not Even Wrong Xela Person Open Mind 101 Deanna Smith Mona McCune Suzanne O'Reilly Rashelle Raymond Chad Saltzman James Bown Brian Szilagyi Monica Hynes Matt Eckenrode Arielle Nicole Greg H Dave Engelman Dylan Clune Calvin Doyle Robert Doucette Jacob Ortega Jesse Witham Andrea Gagliani Scott Swain William Morris Qie Jenkins Aaron Jones Jon Ross Kevin Best Haley Brown Ned Arick Milo J Garcia Lauren Cribb Ty Oliver Tom in Rural NC Christian from Bakersfield Brian Martinez Matthew Holland Charley Dunham Casey RobertsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Happy Monday out there in the world, wherever you are.
If you're in a, you know, if you're at, if you're in your, if you're in your car right now or your truck, you know, if you're in a van and, you know, and you secretly, you got them headphones on, you got a couple of kids in the back that don't need to be listening to, you know, to your wild stepcousin Theo right here.
Because he might, you know, throw some time my brain throws an expletive and it uses my face to toss it into the universe.
And so, yeah, but wherever you are, if you're sitting at home snuggled up with a loved one, dude, that sounds beautiful.
There's nothing I wish more than that there's too beautiful or not even beautiful in their own minds.
And it doesn't even matter who thinks they're beautiful.
I just hope that there's two thick gay men out there just snuggled up somewhere listening to this, listening to this bad chatter out into the universe because that's something about that makes me, it doesn't make me feel homoerotic, but it just makes me feel like, you know what?
Them big dogs is out there, you know, staying natural and having a good time.
And, you know, and we're not, you know, they're not, people, they're not listening to a guy because, you know, he's maybe different than them.
And I think about that.
But wherever you are, if you're listening to this today, I appreciate you being here with me.
Happy Monday, January 15, the year 2017 in time, as far as we know.
And I have the game on right now, and I paused it.
I have the Saints versus the Minnesota Vikings.
And I'm home alone.
It got to the point, I was like, I got to do this podcast because I got to drive to Brea and do a show.
I got to leave in about an hour and 15 minutes or something.
So I'm like, I can't watch anymore right now.
And I was so amped up.
I'm like, what's going to happen?
Because the Vikings made a field goal and then the Saints made a field goal.
And so then the Saints were in the lead, but the Vikings were getting the ball back 25 seconds, not a lot of time.
But I was like, I just got to pause it.
Because if I knew if I watched and the Saints lost, I would be really upset or bummed out.
So I didn't want to have that natural bum, that free bum, you know, bouncing inside of my walls.
So here I am, and it's paused.
I can see in the background, it's just like a picture of the sidelines on the TV screen, and it's paused.
So I'm going to have to get into that later on.
Thank you guys for joining us.
I want to thank everybody that came out in Brea this weekend, and I want to apologize for anybody that came to the Saturday night late show.
Things just got out of hand, you know, like not with me, really just in the audience.
There was a lot of people being loud.
You know, some people was upped up.
You know, some people was snickered up on that dust, you know.
And it just, I think it ruined some of the show.
And the staff, and I love the staff that works there, you know, but they didn't do a good job of holding it down.
There was no real mediation of the room.
And I just want to apologize to anybody that came out to that Saturday late show.
And if I'm heading back there in the future and you want to come see a show, hit me up and I'll see if I can help out with some tickets because I feel bad about that.
Because you guys didn't get the best show because there was just these, you know, some people were chirping and, you know, I don't know what they were doing, taking each other's pulses or just being just wild.
So, you know, but anyhow, I appreciate if you did come out and I had a nice weekend in Bray, man.
A lot of cool people came out.
So I was grateful to everybody that came through.
What's going on, man?
I got this coffee.
I got, dude, my buddy sent me this coffee for Christmas.
And this isn't an ad.
My buddy sent me this coffee for Christmas.
It says on there, I just opened it.
It says, it's called Cups Coffee, and it says Guatemalan single use or something, or one year old.
And I'm like, damn, this shit sounds, I just want coffee.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't need to know, you know, I don't need its birth certificate.
I want fucking coffee.
I want to not have to go buy cocaine.
So I want to just use something natural.
I want coffee.
And this shit got me making me feel like I'm involved in sex trafficking or something.
This shit says Guatemalan, you know, 72 months or something on it.
And I'm like, what the hell, man?
So now I'm drinking coffee and I'm a little bit nervous and I just don't want to get caught up in some kind of, you know, who knows?
In the future, maybe they'll bust a man.
You know, he used to drink coffee that was only three years old.
You know, no man should be drinking coffee that hasn't been aged, where the beans haven't been aged at least 18 years.
And who knows what's next?
They taking men out of the universe.
They're trying to take us out of the universe sometimes.
And I know it's not an intention.
I think a lot of this, you know, there's a strong female movement out there.
You know, it's like the whole world, it's like Mother Nature herself is about to just, you know, drop an egg, you know?
Like she's just on that strachian and she's about to just drop an egg.
You know, and I don't even know where that egg would just pop out of the earth, I guess, just come rolling out of a damn, maybe out of the San Andreas Fault.
You know, that egg might end up out there in South Riverside or out towards Ianheim.
Who knows?
You know, but I feel like Mother Nature's just, she's on that, you know, she's on them tumbles.
She's got them belly tumbles.
And she wants pickles and chocolate because she's having, you know, she's going through some things.
And sometimes it has to happen for things to even out.
You know, but damn, they taking every, Everybody's getting called out for being wild and for being too much.
Aziz Ansari just got, you know, there was a thing on the internet today.
And, you know, the thing is, when you, first time I read something now, the first thing I think is, is this true?
Who's citing these sources?
Are there any real sources?
You know, the website or the thing was called Babe.net or something was the company that was saying this.
I never heard of them.
I never heard of them in my life.
So, but the allegations that were out there were just that he was on a date with a girl.
He invited her over.
You know, he was trying to be nasty and be naughty with her.
Or he's trying to be, I mean, it seemed like he was being aggressive from this girl's take.
You know, and I'm not discounting what she said.
I have no clue.
You know, there hasn't been any like, there hasn't been, you know, there's no trial or anything here.
It doesn't seem like.
So that's the strange thing.
Like, I don't know, is he being accused of a crime?
If that's the case, do you take it to authorities?
Are you just making it aware and using his name?
So I guess some of the movement, the Me Too, if it's part of the Me Too movement is a bit, or Time's Up, I think they changed it now to Time's Up, is a little confusing to me in that regard because I don't know what's, you know, like, is it just awareness?
You're using somebody's name.
Do they get to say what they thought happened that evening?
And I guess he will if he wants to, if he wants to, you know, rebuttal it.
But it's also, you know, people's perspectives of what's going on when something's going on can be different.
You know, they can be different.
You know, and we didn't all come from the same history or the same experiences, you know.
Like what if a man has only had one girlfriend and she's real rowdy?
You know, and she likes the man to fucking, you know, put jingle bells in her ears and, you know, beat her on the back with a fucking, you know, semi-hard billy club or, you know, put, you know, put egg yolks on her legs and dip them in damn, you know, planko toast chips and fuck or something like that.
Who knows?
And then you show up at a girl's, you know, then you show up on a date and you got a sack of straight up, you know, toast crumbs and a deep fryer and a couple of jingle bells, couple JBs, and you're ready to rock out.
You know, it's like, it's just people's perspectives going into, you know, their history has so much to do with it.
But maybe she was just scared and that's all that matters.
And that's why this is coming out because, you know, if a woman is in, if you are, you know, that men need to have a look at what is aggressive behavior or what could be aggressive behavior.
You know, and maybe that's, I mean, there's certainly, you know, if I'm going to spend my time, you know, reading it and thinking about it, I'm going to try to have some takeaway from it.
You know, you think about a young girl being in a place with a guy who's older, more experienced.
You know, and if, you know, I can't exactly put myself in that situation, but I can try.
You know, maybe it's just an overall mindset that some guys have going into hookup scenarios with chicks.
And it's supposed to make us, and that's what this is.
She's just trying to make us think.
And that's all she was trying to do.
Maybe, you know, not all she's trying to do.
She's trying to obviously get this off of her chest.
But if you look at the conversation between them over text message, it looked like she was just trying to make him aware.
You know, make him aware of what maybe seems comfortable and normal to him is not comfortable and normal to her.
Or comfortable.
Maybe normal isn't even it.
I mean, I'm just, you know, spinning my wheels here.
But I guess, you know, we got to think, you know, as men, because one, we don't want to, you know, you don't want to harm someone.
You don't want to hurt somebody.
You know?
But two, you also want to, you know, you don't want to not try and express yourself sexually if you think you're in an environment where you can do that.
Because, you know, that can be tough on your psyche too to feel incapable of sexual expression or unallowed to have sexual expression.
You know, and I'm not saying what he did was sexual expression, but obviously to him it was, but to her it wasn't.
I mean, maybe my, you know, it makes me wonder if maybe my attitudes might be part of the problem.
You know, it has to make me ask myself that.
So there's definitely value right there in making me think.
But it's wild.
I mean, here, this guy wakes up and, you know, maybe he does this kind of stuff all the time.
And maybe he's, you know, a nasty cat.
And maybe this is something that, you know, that needs to come out to help him get better.
And maybe that's the way it's being done now, just on a public scale.
I mean, I'm like the future of men.
What do you have?
I mean, maybe in the future, it's you sign an agreement.
These are the things I like.
These are the things I don't.
I mean, we're becoming so, you know, you chime into an app.
I'm into these six or seven different ideas and someone has to agree to them.
And it's wild.
It's just, it's a different, you know, there's just a lot going on.
There's a lot going on, a lot of factors going on.
But I don't know who won the game yet.
I do not know who won the game.
I do not know who won the game.
We got some good calls that came in, man, and I'm not jumping to those just yet, but we have an interview.
I have to do a call out to a lovely young lady here in just a second who's going to be on the hotline because we brought up, well, first I got to call in.
Oh, I'm all over the episode, man.
This Guatemalan six-year-old has got me chirping out here, man.
We had a call over the weekend that came in about Hawaii, and this was from Josh in Hawaii.
Here we go.
Yo, Theo, this is Josh calling in from the island of Hawaii.
And yeah, I'm just calling you after a little post-nuclear apocalyptic scare that we had this morning.
I woke up to an amber alert saying there was an inbound ballistic missile headed to the island of Hawaii.
Rise and shine, boy.
Onward.
And I basically woke up into a scarier reality than the nightmare I was having.
And there was about 30 minutes where, yeah, that was a real reality, man.
I was just constantly updating my Twitter, trying to figure out what the fuck's going on.
Nobody's saying this is a false alarm.
And I'm walking around outside, just looking at my neighbors, trying to figure out if we're about to be bombed by Kim Song-jun, whatever that dude's name is over there.
Anyways.
Kim Jong-il, baby.
And I'm going to say this, you might want to get that man's name under your tongue, you know?
Just because if he shows up, that's probably the first question he's going to ask us when he takes over.
What's my name?
What's my motherfucking name?
And if you do, most people are not going to know it.
Song Young Lamb, boy, you're out.
They're going to chop you down right there.
Chip choppity chop.
Somebody's going to say that, dude.
Somebody's going to say your name is Chip Chop Lamb.
Young Lamb.
Somebody's going to, General Sow.
People are going to have the worst ideas and they're going to take you out.
So I think his name is Kim Jong-un or Kim Jong-il.
The problem is they keep killing these Kim Jongs.
You know, little Kim Jong grows up, kills big Kim Jong, so he can be the BKJ.
And then another little Kim Jong grows up and kills another BKJ, and it just keeps going.
Kim Jong-il, un, an, on, uno, odos, dres.
That'd be cool, dude, if it was Kim Jong-ocho.
That'd be dope.
And he came out with a little bit of a Latino flair, you know?
Kind of like he, you know, like he just showed up on Monday Night Raw one night and was like, Kim Jong-ocho.
But I can't imagine that, dude.
You know, there was a, there was a, imagine, now that moment where you tell me for 30 minutes you thought this was a reality, that they're ballistic middle.
First of all, I'd have to Google ballistic.
So that I'm going to start right there.
Like, are these fun, like what kind of missiles are these?
Like, who's, like, do I just not have to be within 20 feet of where it lands?
Like, what am I up against?
But can you imagine that for 30 minutes?
You know, I mean, I wonder how many Me Too occurrences happen just during that 30 minutes.
Because if I'm somewhere and they say you got 30 minutes left, the countdown is here, dude, I'll tell you this.
I'm going to throw down about 300 milligrams of sialis and finally start talking to the women I've been afraid to talk to most of my life.
That's exactly what I'm going to do.
You know, I might have to take a dude down with long hair if he uses good conditioner and I never see his face and I walk up to him from behind and just say, hey, you know, ma'am, are you into wild stuff?
And do it like, you know, like I would never want to see the front of him.
But yeah, dude, I mean, that's 30-minute countdown.
I'd love to know what you did in that time.
Well, here's the thing.
You had to be look, the first thing you probably did was look on, look more.
Is this real?
But if nobody knows if it's real, and I think Hawaii didn't even make the announcement until later in the day to say it was an accident, or I'm guessing it took 30 minutes, you just said that.
Man, 30 minutes?
Right now, somebody says, you got 30 minutes, what would you do?
I'd probably drive over to somebody that I love.
Honestly, it would be a girl, and I would probably try to have sex.
I'd talk to my family.
You know what?
I would have my family on speakerphone talking to them and then quietly trying to have sex with a girl who also wanted to have sex with me.
So I'd be trying to fuck quietly so that my family didn't know that was going on.
And so me and the girl could both enjoy each other's company, but at the same time, trying to get my love you's in.
She's like, did you just come on my back?
I'm like, no, that's tears.
Those are tears.
I'm talking to my family.
This is a really sad 20 minutes right there.
This is a really sad time we're going through because the world is ending.
Sorry, that's a little vulgar, man.
I don't usually get that vulgar, but that just, I think it's this coffee, man.
And it's the game.
It's the excitement.
And also, I think, man, you know, like, and I appreciate that call, Josh.
And if there are things going on in the world and you are a live reporter on the scene of something, it could be anything.
It could be a drug deal.
It could be a, you know, post-coitus with you and your mate.
It could be, you know, you just shot an animal.
Your buddy just shot an animal.
If there's something going on, or, you know, if there's an earthquake or there's the Hawaiian missile practice, whatever's going on, you know, and you're a live reporter on the scene, hit that hotline.
Drop us that information and we can play it because that was nice to have Josh call in and let us know what's happening out there in Hawaii.
We had a great call that came in on last week's episode and this was it right here.
I'm going to play it and then we're going to call a lovely young lady who's going to be able to fill us in on some information.
Here we go.
Let's hear it.
Hey Theo, this is JP from down in Alabama.
And I was calling you about dead porn stars, man.
Had two of the greats pass away in late 2017.
Well, now they've left behind all this material.
And I feel like a lot of people that are, you know, scrolling through these porn sites and stuff, they may not know these girls are dead.
What are your thoughts on people jerking it to dead porn stars?
Man, and you know, and some people would listen to this question like, oh, that's stupid.
Who cares?
That's stupid.
It's about pornography.
And I know this show, you know, this episode, we've had a little bit of smut chatter.
You know, we've been talking about things that are a bit smuttish.
And this show isn't devolving into something smuttish.
but this was a good question.
This is a good question.
And I don't really think that I, you know, I'm going to give you my two cents in a minute.
But first, I'm going to call, I've got a lovely young lady here.
Her name is Zoe Monroe.
You can check her out.
She's a pornographic star, pornographic actress.
And she's in, you know, and it's tempting here because she is in, you know, she is out there dancing, you know, in the dark arts.
And she's a real professional.
And she is, I mean, she's good at what she does.
I've fell victim to it many times on my home computer.
And I'm going to give her a call right now and see what she thinks about this very topic.
BELL RINGS Hello, hello.
Zoe Monroe.
What's up?
I'm doing good.
How are you?
I'm good.
Taking bong rips on a hammock.
Are you taking bong rips on a hammock, huh?
Yep.
You ever try to do a bunch of cocaine and just stay in a hammock?
You know, I don't think I have.
Well, it's hard to do.
I think it's probably easier to stay in a hammock on pot.
Yeah, it sounds like it.
Yeah.
Because cocaine will make you want to get out of a hammock.
At one point, I felt like I was just trapped in somebody's net, you know?
But we had a great call that came in on our podcast this week, and I'm a fan of your work.
I'm a fan of you personally.
I think you're a real sweetheart.
Oh, thank you, Theo.
Yeah.
Anytime I've been around, you always make me laugh.
I know you're a big pet owner.
You've got a big heart.
And you have a nice body and everything that I've seen on the internet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just telling, just saying on the podcast that I've definitely fallen victim to some of your work over the years.
So thank you very much.
But we had a caller that called in and he said, his question was, you know, last year you guys lost some popular pornographic actors and actresses, I think, but in your industry.
Is it okay, or what are your thoughts on people masturbating and not knowing if these actors and actresses are dead?
Well, I mean, we do what we do to be fantasies.
And like comedians do what they do, you want to make people laugh and you want to have fun.
Well, we want to fulfill everybody's fantasies while fulfilling our fantasies and having a lot of sex and fun while we do it.
So why not have these stars live on through our fantasies?
As long as you're paying for it.
Right.
Okay, so that's the biggest thing.
As long as you're paying for it.
Do you think there should be a situation?
Because, you know, all the tube sites are ruining the business.
And if people still want the amount of porno that we all make for y'all to keep coming out, some people got to be buying it because who's going to pay us?
Right, that's a good point.
So are there sites you recommend if people want to actually support the business that they go to?
Yes, I recommend Elegant Angel.
They just released two sporting showcases of mine.
So naturally, I'm going to say them first.
Oh, wow.
Elegant Angel is a good one.
There's a lot of different angel ones we got.
A little bit of crotch archery, huh?
Yeah.
Now, I so, but now, do you think there should be a special section on these sites where, you know, it should say that these are deceased, if this is where you want to come to see deceased pornographic actresses?
I thought maybe it would be interesting if they had like an in-memorium at the end of a porn, you know, say you're watching some porn at the end.
There's like, you know, do you think that would turn people off?
Like you're, you know, spraying out.
Next thing you know, you know, it's like, you know, Judy, you know, was, you know, left the earth in 2015.
I wonder if that would like, that could kill some people's bugs.
I can see.
Yeah, I can see how that would, you know, interfere with your little aftercome euphoria there.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I don't really know what the best way to have people find out if your favorite poem star has passed away or not.
That's a good question.
I don't know if that's a good idea or not to have that.
Do you, if you pass away, and I hope you never do, I want to tell you that.
Thank you, Seal.
Yeah.
I mean, I just hope the world just gets to see your skin and your, you know, breasts and, you know, anus and legs and everything for decades to come.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, me too.
Okay.
Yeah, good, good.
But if you ever do, do you want men to still be jerking off to your material?
I mean, that is why I do it.
Yeah.
Do you think there should be a clause maybe that people who work in porn put into their, like, like, you know, with a driver's license, you have to get a thing that says like, yeah, I'm willing to donate my organs if I die, you know?
Do you think they should have something like that for you guys, maybe where it's like, oh, well, yeah, if, you know, if I die, I'm okay with people still.
I mean, the purpose of that would really only be for the fans because the companies honestly don't give a shit.
If they're still making money on it, they're still going to make money on it.
Right.
Either way.
So final say, what would you say to this guy then?
We had a guy who called in.
He said, is it okay to be jerking off to dead people?
Is it okay to be jerking off to dead porn stars?
I think yes, because they made all of that content for you to jerk off to.
I don't see why them being here or not being here would have anything to do with it.
But I can't see how that is a very good question.
Yeah.
Yeah, it certainly made me think.
Well, I appreciate you taking some time to talk to us.
You guys can follow Zoe Monroe on her Instagram at Miss MS Zoe Monroe, M-O-N-R-O-E.
But beware, if you go to her Instagram, dude, you're probably going to end up taking a 15-minute break from work.
So one leads to the other, you know.
So I try to stay off your Instagram sometimes because, you know, I just can't really control myself, you know.
So I just have issues when it comes to self-control.
Hey, we all do.
Yeah, it's true.
I guess we all do.
Well, I appreciate you discussing it.
I appreciate you discussing this with us.
And thanks, Zoe.
And you'll have to come on the podcast sometime.
We'd love to have you.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Thanks for having me today.
You bet.
Have a good evening.
Good luck with the hammock and the bong.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Talk to you later.
All right.
Bye.
So there you go.
She says, you know, that's what the material is made for.
It's made to be out there.
It's made for people to, you know, get that jerk up and get that seed up.
Now, I feel like there should be a thing at the end.
You know, it's like, you know, would that be a turnoff, though?
You know, you're, you know, you know, you're squeezing and pleasing yourself, you know, and just treating your wiener like a damn fucking near empty tube of toothpaste.
And you're trying to get that last, you know, that last pop.
Because that's the thing.
When I'm masturbating, it's like at this point, when I was young, it would just be like, you know, just get that thing to fire and just watch that thing fire.
You know, part of them, part of me, and I always have thought I'd be good at archery because part of me, the best thing about masturbation was that pop.
Not even the feeling I would get, but just the joy of seeing that distance, you know, seeing that hit, you know, seeing that trebuchet, you know, how far that boulder is going to go.
Is it going to, you know, what, you know, just seeing what kind of, you know, you're like, dang, that's going on inside of my body.
I got that electricity coming out of my body.
You know, I got that, you know, that's Satan's neutrons and they're flying out of your freaking body and out of your nuts.
And that was exciting to me.
But then I do notice that as I get over time, I just want to get as much joy as I can before I, you know, end up, you know, spraying out.
I try to get as much like buildup of sheer joy before I end up, you know, catching that pop.
So it's kind of evolved a little bit as to what masturbation is for me.
But I'll say this, though.
I think that you should, now, as viewers, maybe we watch and do a little bit of, you know, maybe you do something before.
You light a candle.
You know, I got a candle lit right here, even just for this conversation, because I knew we were definitely going to be delving into the darks, into the dark arts.
And so you light that candle, you know, or maybe you do put some oranges out like they do in India.
Sometimes they have a little picture of, you know, Ganesh, the elephant, and a couple of oranges or little Pot Paris or something.
You know, you light up a couple of candles or throw some sage around the room if you know whoever you're going to masturbate to is deceased.
You know, maybe you take it on that yourself as a person to have a little bit of, because I think it's, I personally do think it's a little bit wild to be cracking on, you know, some deceased footage of somebody.
It's a good question because here I am changing my mind mid-sentence.
It's a good question, but I feel like for me, I would feel better, and I try to stay away from pornography.
But for me, I would feel better if I didn't do it, if I did not do that, if I did not watch it at all.
But I would then feel better if there was a memoriam at the end.
You know, you're, you know, you spank, you know, you know, you're, you know, stacking skeet inside of your body and stacking and stacking and stacking and stacking.
And you're watching.
And then, you know, at the end, it says, you know, you know, Molly Tit Butt or whatever her name was, you know, whatever the girl's name was, Molly Tits and Butt ass or whatever.
You know, something sexier than that, obviously.
Lopez, make her fancy, you know.
She was, you know, alive from, you know, 2000 to 2019.
And you'd be like, whoa.
I think it would make it more real.
I think things like that would make it more real.
And maybe you throw in a couple of other stats.
You know, she liked to, you know, she liked to the Fast and the Furious series.
And she had a couple of bad tattoos that she was saving up money to get removed or something like that, something that makes her a little bit more personal.
That could be interesting.
But then, like, like Zoe said, a lot of that is fantasy.
A lot of that is, you know, you want the fantasy.
So if they had it, you know, if a headstone, you know, if you had a headstone section of pornography, would that kill the fantasy?
And I can see also how it very well could.
So yeah, I think if you like, if you light some candles or do some special stuff, maybe, you know, get out one of those, you know, a lot of times in some of the churches, they'll have these little, the man, the preacher will go, the priest will go up and down the aisles with this wand full of holy water and just, you know, he's just basically doing that, that's just skeeting out of his own wand, you know, but it's water.
You know, it's spirit skeet, basically.
It's holy water.
And he's throwing that on people to get everybody hyped up about the, you know, about the, you know, about the Lord feeling good for everyone.
He's getting everybody hyped up.
But if you did that, maybe you're something around your house, you throw some sage or you do something spectacular before you indelve into it.
You know, so you got a little bit of the protection of something good in your heart before you're out there jerking off to the deceased.
Because any way you look at it, in the end, you are jerking off to the deceased.
So that's one way to see it.
Here's some other ways to see it.
You guys had some calls that came in.
Here we go.
Hey, man, this is Brandon Klein from San Diego.
I actually just saw your show at the Bray Improv.
Anyway, I'm calling in regards to...
You notice he didn't say that it was good?
I think he might have been at the Saturday Night Late show.
Thank you for coming out, Brandon, though.
I do appreciate you, man.
Onward.
The gentleman that called in the last Podcast asked him if it was right to be jerking it to deceased porn stars.
You know, there's two ways to look at this, I think.
The one way is like, you know, you're thinking, man, this girl's dead in the ground.
Like, this is her ghost fucking this dude.
Like, can I even get hard to this?
And if I can, like, should even up to this?
Like, does this feel right?
Now, that's a good point.
There's two moments there.
Should I get hard to this?
Because getting hard to something, that's pretty, that's one thing.
But catching that bust, that's another thing.
You know?
Freaking letting out that, you know, that fucking, that, you know, just letting that fucking, that nut goose fly out of your wand, that's something.
That's, that's another thing.
It's two different things.
So I'm glad you're saying this, Onward.
And, you know, I get that.
You can get creeped out going down that path, but there's another way to look at it too.
And that's that, you know, these girls, this was their passion.
This is their career.
A lot of them loved what they did, you know, and it was an art to them.
I just think about like when Michael Jackson died, man, like the radios were blowing his songs up for weeks afterwards, you know, and people still listen to his music now.
I think that you can still have that connection with even a porn star, too.
It's just another medium of entertainment, isn't it?
Go ahead.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I mean, it could be like the Mona Lisa.
People still go see that.
I mean, early pornography, when you think about it, is in all these books and the Rodin and all those like all these famous old painters, these, you know, Peter Paul Rubens, I think the man's name was.
They would paint all these women and they would put them in these big, you know, as usually kind of Rubinesse sort of, you know, healthy, regular looking girls, and they would put them in these magazines.
A lot of time they'd be laying in the woods or have like an apple near them or a couple of pieces of fruit or some, usually fruits or something like that, or maybe sometimes there'd be a fox, I feel like, in the back, like a little, like a fox or maybe a little animal.
But usually it was like them just laying there, you know, long, pretty hair.
And that was, that was early pornography.
You know, that was it.
And that is now considered collector's art.
I mean, some of those paintings are worth, it's a baffling amount of money.
But, I mean, look, pornography is, is so popular, you would not believe it.
Pornography had the first videos you could watch online were pornography.
Think about that.
Now everything's video.
The first ones you could watch online were pornography.
Pornography has led the explosion and the dissemination.
I don't think that's what the word is.
But it's led like after the Bible was printed, you know, once the Bible was printed after that, pictures of freaking ladies started milling around.
You know, they'd have dudes walking three nights out into the desert to dig up a picture of old, you know, the original camel toe that they had hid out there to jerk off.
And that's what was going on.
You know, when the internet started and people were, one of the first, the biggest catalogs of collected images, one of the first, the first and biggest was pornography.
People looking to jerk off.
People want to look at the Constitution, make sure it was real, basically, just Xeroxes of it or whatever they could see online.
And then there was huge catalogs of pornography.
When the Berlin Wall fell, here's a fact for you, when the Berlin Wall fell, a lot of pornography could get out of there.
People needed money.
So you could buy, there were these like moguls, these pornography moguls who were buying, you know, for $100, they'd get a, you know, you know, 200 images of a sexy, you know, Polish girl or German girl.
And then they would sell subscriptions to people online on some of these early sites.
And they'd sell them for a ton of money.
They were making so much money.
It was crazy.
But poor now, I mean, the first thing they get, I bet you if you go back to hieroglyphics, I bet they got, the first thing you see is like a fire, a little bit of directions, maybe a recipe.
Somebody drew like some wheat plus, you know, a picture of some, you know, maybe a boar's hip or something, or a, you know, a cut of vark or a fucking pheasant or a damn moose or something, you know, plus water, water pot equals, and then, you know, they draw pictures of people eating together.
But, but if you walk down that cave and look probably behind a little bit of a rock or a few pic, you know, a few pictograms over, somebody sketched out some crotch or some cooter or some pornography.
It's a huge business.
It's heavy.
It's big.
It's a big thing.
It might even start to behoove them to have a section that is epitaph porn or, you know, rest in, you know, rest in porn.
That could be a cute little section they could do.
So I'm curious to see as more and more porn stars die, how do they embrace this as an industry?
You know, I wonder if they still get residuals off of that.
I don't think they do.
I think from everything that I know, a lot of these girls just get flat fees.
I should have asked Zoe that.
But man, if you've seen Zoe, boy, you got to get out there, boy.
She done, man, I wish I could do, my butt cannot even do any of those tricks, and I'm grateful that it can't, but she really got, I mean, she's, man, make you get off the bus, boy, and walk out in the woods, dude.
Man, make you get out there and be alone by yourself and be by yourself.
Okay, let's catch a couple more responses here.
Here's one more we got.
Hey, Deal, what's up, man?
This is G from Phoenix.
Just calling in about JP's question, jerking off to Dead Pornstar.
I think that it would be disrespectful not to, because that's kind of like their art form.
You think if Denzel Washington died that he would want us to stop watching Training Day?
If anything, you should have a marathon and watch all of them.
I don't know if you can do that in a row, especially Some of these bigger ones because they have such a volume of work.
It just translates like that.
Denzel would want us to remember the Titans, not black it out and not ever watch it again.
Well, true, that's a good point.
But if you're remembering the Titans, and you're out there trying to remember them, you know, I'm not jerking off to remember the Titans, you know?
That's the thing.
You know, I'm not out there jerking off to Sergeant Sully Lands the Plane or whatever that movie was.
So that's the thing.
It's different if you're at the movie theater and Denzel Washington's dead and you're jerking off to Stand By Me or something, I think you might have been in, then that's fucked up.
But if you, you know, with a porn star, it's a little different because there is that physical connection where there's expected to be, I think, a release.
But I respect that.
I respect that.
It'd be disrespectful not to watch.
They did the work.
They put it out there.
You know, in 30 years, this could be like the books when I used to go see in the library.
And I've told this story before that when I was young, I really, I mean, I was into pornography early.
And once I saw it, I mean, the first real porno magazines I found in my, well, the first one, this boy at the library showed me a picture of it and beat me up.
And then we had this other kid before that used to draw, you have to draw crotches.
If you wanted to see a crotch, you had to get him to draw you one.
Because this dude was, I mean, he was just like Jared the jeweler.
I mean, this dude had the best.
He could draw, oh, he could draw it all.
And that's what you get for the weekend.
You know, give him, you know, six bucks or something and get that drawing of crotch for the weekend.
But then, you know, I started going to the library and seeing these Reuben-esque women in these old volumes of, in the library.
And dude, I remember I'd be so erect in there in that library.
And I would take this book and literally close the book on my wiener, you know, and just kind of smash it against, like press the book against it on both sides until I, you know, expelled joy out of my body.
And that's just being young.
I mean, I think I was probably 12, you know.
And we've all done weird stuff, and I'm not proud of that, you know, but I don't feel a lot of shame of it because I just, this wasn't a time, that's how if we wanted porn, like, you know, it was so rare to come across.
So anything that would get me lit a little bit in the crotch, I would find it.
And I found those matt, and I found those, these were encyclopedias, art encyclopedias.
And they had pictures from Rodin and Peter Paul Rubens and some of these other artists.
And I'd get in there and just look at the picture and then just close it up on my, because just that pressure on your rod at that time, at that youth, with that virility going through you, I mean, really brought you to the end of, it brought you to what you wanted.
You know, it brought you to want to, you know, get that free ounce out of your body.
But here we go.
One more call right here, and this came in from Jennifer.
Here we go.
Hi, this is Jennifer, and there was a question about the porn star thing.
I don't really think that it's wrong to masturbate to a porn star that's dead.
I just think it's kind of like it's artwork in its own way, I guess.
I think if they cared, they would have wrote a will and said, when I die, take my shit offline.
Hi, this is.
Well, and there you go.
Thank you, Jennifer.
I appreciate that call.
And I'm thinking about it more now as I'm even hearing now when I hear a woman's voice say it right there, it puts it a little bit more, it makes it more real to me a little bit, you know, because the pornography that I watch is women.
You know, I enjoy women's sex and man and woman's sex together.
You know, I enjoy heterosexual sex on the internet watching.
That's why if I do watch, which I try not to watch anymore, sorry, which I try not to watch anymore, that's what I watch.
But if I, if I, after hearing Jennifer's voice right there, but after hearing Jennifer's voice right there, it kind of, I don't know, in a weird way, it just made me have a little bit more, not respect for women, but it made it more real all of a sudden.
That just now, just in this moment of hearing her voice talking about it, for me, and this won't be for anybody else, but I think that I would now, I wanted to know if they're deceased or not.
I think that they should put a regulation on the porn websites.
If someone is deceased, have a little headstone pop up in the beginning, you know, or like a, have a, you know, a cross or a Star of David or a, you know, a Hindu statue, whatever a Muslims, whatever their religion was, have something, you know, a two-second homage to that.
Maybe have a, you know, or have the head, you know, have the memoriam, you know, Busty Barbara, you know, you know, 1998 to 2007.
You know, have that bust up every now and then.
Or that's, is that old enough?
Yeah, okay, good.
Yeah, like, have that pop up every now and then so at least you know what's going on.
But I would like that and I would, because otherwise I don't want to be out there busting nuts to, I don't want to be out there ejaculating to the deceased.
And you know why?
Because there's tons of women on the websites who are not deceased.
And that sits better in my soul.
So I think that these sites should have a little bit of respect and put the women into a special folder or a special site box or whatever that says the graveyard or whatever.
So that then at least you can masturbate slower or you can wear something nice while you masturbate or you can have some regard for the fact you can light some candles.
Like I said, you could do the sage.
You could do whatever.
You could have some regard for the fact that these women are no longer alive.
Because I don't think when I get to the reckoning spot or whatever it is, you know, when I get into that great big cliff in the air and the spirit that's out there the higher power whatever it is says jump and that's when you find out if they're gonna if they you know if the big dog gonna catch you in his hand or the big woman wherever she whoever it is or they're gonna let you fall down into the smithereens and a dragon is just gonna fucking eat your legs off while you're falling through the air
i don't want that to be well i don't want that to be another anvil that's weighing down in my body deep in my soul that i was um that i was you know i was making free ones uh to to the deceased i don't want it and simply because there's enough work out there where i don't need it so i'll take that right there um what else i want to talk about the game dude i still don't know who won i
could easily see that minnesota completed two passes and got in field goal range i could easily see that uh what else right here i'm gonna check in um that's it man i had some more stuff i wanted to get into but uh um this is in the news i'm gonna hit this news story real quick a man claiming to be a police detective went to his local
adult porn shop and demanded they give him free porn videos so he can make sure none of the performers were underage ah what a smut muppet he made three attempts within a nine-day span when the store owner finally had had enough and called the police this man is still on the run if you encounter a man claiming to be with the sorry this is making me laugh is not cool with the age verification unit make
sure you don't give him any of your porn for free and alert the police immediately and like zoe said right there man a few minutes ago you know hit those hit hit the sites that she mentioned pay for the pay for the porn get the good stuff get involved support your artists you know if uh if picasso said hey man you want to come watch me paint you're like nah let's look at your old shit all the time he's like it's three dollars to get in here and watch me sketch something out would you go watch him you know bust one you know a fucking series of color
nuts out of his hand and imagination would you go watch him paint and make something you might instead of just looking at his old shit so support that support that uh we have uh two more calls that came in actually one was an email uh that i wanted to get some uh maybe some suggestions you guys might have if anybody out there has kids you guys might have some information on this i'm going to tell you my upcoming dates this weekend i'll be at the new comedy club in jackson jacksonville florida that's the 18th through the 20th
i'll be at harvey's in portland february 8th through 11th february 16th through the 18th i'll be at la jolla california at the comedy store february 22nd through the 24th i'll be in indio california at fantasy springs and april 6th and 7th i'll be at in tampa florida at rock brothers brewing there's also i think march 22nd and 23rd i'll be in tacoma washington uh that's where i'll be tacoma washington and spokane washington i'll get those dates up on the website this week
let's hit one more call right here here we go hi theo my name is nicole i'm calling from houston texas thank you for your call nicole onward i'm a stay-at-home mom i have a young boy and i'm expecting another young boy here in a few months oh congratulations he's gonna have a brother you know that's pretty special i don't think you know you can't really plan a help uh you can't really plan ahead on a lot of that you know to um you know i don't think you know as a parent
maybe you don't know what you're creating when you make a brother for a kid but that can be i mean there's no other relationship like that so you know i commend you on being brave enough to have two children because you not only creating you're going to be creating a relationship with you and your son you're going to be broadening your family but you are giving a kid a brother and there's nothing you know i can't explain to you uh you know i'm fortunate enough to have a brother and i can't explain to you what that relationship is like um it hasn't always
been great but it's just so it's so great to have a brotherhood to be able to to compare and navigate um how i'm supposed to behave towards other men uh and how uh and have someone who already is a little bit of a blueprint of myself out there to look at and feed off of um to get ideas and inklings for things and get some advice and some suggestions so
you're really creating something awesome so i commend you for that onward and i along with what seemed like my entire community of girlfriends we were all professionals that chose to stay at home and when that happened we saw that we were underserved in the capacity that we're taught how to be great employees great co-workers but we have never been taught how to manage a home and
to raise children you know do all of those things a bit more traditional in nature so my question to you is especially since we you have talked to us a lot about the sort of war against men the culture of irresponsibility which we all see that's happened and is happening what are some things that you as a man would advise new moms to
instill in their young sons to be later good men does that make sense i hope so hi theo my name is nicole i'm and that just circles back around her call sometimes it just plays if i let it go through it starts back over but that's a great question let's hear the very end of it again here we go one more time are some things that you as a man would advise new moms to instill in their young sons to be later good men does that
that does make sense sorry to clear my throat there um it does make sense if you know i think spending time with them one-on-one as they get a little bit older you know as they get to be like five six seven eight uh spend some time just separately.
Go do something separate with your son.
You know, one of the only things I ever got to do with my mom that was just me and her was we went to Wendy's one time.
And I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but, and I probably have talked about this before, but, you know, my mother worked all the time.
You know, she didn't want us to be on welfare, so she worked.
And I'm not saying that she's better than your mom.
I'm not saying that she's better than your grandmother.
She's any different.
I'm not saying anything like that.
I'm just saying that, and I think she worked sometimes too because she was probably stressed out from having four children.
She didn't know what else to do maybe sometimes.
So she did what she knew how to do, which was to work.
But one time I was sick or something.
I couldn't be at school.
I could have gotten, you know, expelled maybe, or not expelled, but suspended.
And so I had to go to work with my mom.
And we rode around.
It's like different cities or whatever.
And we're delivering like magazines.
She was delivering magazines at the time.
We were delivering these magazines.
And it was just kind of cool because I got to be with her.
It was just me and her.
And we went to Wendy's for lunch.
And I'd never went to a lunch place just with me and my mom before.
You know, and there was too long of a line inside, so we went through the drive-through and we got sandwiches and we just rode around and ate them.
And I'm sure I was probably an asshole that day, but it was a typical kid.
But looking back, I remember it as like one of my favorite times where I got to spend time with just me and my mother.
So I would just make sure that, you know, I don't know, make sure I don't have a family, but I think that that's important to make sure there's some connection there.
And then, you know, I think try not to tell your son.
He don't always want to hear what will do better.
Sometimes he just wants you to love him and just let him know that he's okay and to, you know, let him know that you love him.
That's it.
You know, sometimes a kid doesn't want to always hear how it could be better or how he could have done it different or what.
Because they don't, they don't, that's adult stuff.
You know, and I've struggled with that over my life, telling people what they could do better.
You know, sometimes people just want to hear that they're not alone and especially your kid, your son will want to hear that.
And then I would take some control and I would talk to him about how he treats women.
Because I don't think that's a conversation that just men need to have with their sons anymore.
I do think that that's a conversation that women need to have.
And I commend you.
I think the toughest thing a woman can do is be a mom and to manage the home and to take the risk of there being less income in the home, to stay at home and create that family.
But if we can get out of what the world tells us is good and we can get back into what our heart tells us is right or good, I'm not going to say right, that's not the word, but feels good, then I think, you know, we'll find a lot of times that it's that, that it's being with our family, you know, and having those fun times and having those, you know, ridiculous.
My favorite time that I ever had when I was young was when the power went out and my family would all be together and we couldn't fight or beat each other because they had candles lit.
And it's dangerous to beat each other around candles.
So we would just be together and we were kind of scared and nervous, but we were all together, like in one place.
You know, my mom had two candles and so we would have to be by her.
We would have to be together.
And it was just, I don't know.
It was something special about that.
So, you know, I think those are a few things.
But that might be some good calls, man.
Maybe we can do that.
Have a couple of calls that come in about that.
If you guys have some thoughts on that, you know, and that's, you know, you heard her question, and I appreciate that question.
I'm going to play it for you guys one more time.
Here we go.
That's happened and is happening.
What are some things that you as a man would advise new moms to instill in their young sons to be later good men?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does make sense.
And I mean, some of those are just going to be general, regular things, but I think I would love to hear some answers on this question for today, for today's society, today's times.
Because there is some evolution that needs to happen in, I think, some of the ways that we communicate.
Well, we can't help.
Evolution is happening.
You know, it's like we have to communicate now on cellular devices.
And I think so it's got to be a lot harder for parents.
So maybe, I don't know what's, I'd love to maybe hear if you guys have some stuff.
I had some more awesome calls that came in, and I wanted to get to some of them.
I just have to go do this comedy set, guys.
I'm sorry, but I will be back on Thursday, and we'll get into some more good stuff, dude.
You guys stay safe out in Hawaii.
They had a mailman in Louisiana that finally, finally admitted to burning all the mail instead of delivering it.
And you know what, dude?
That's fucking awesome, but also go fuck yourself, bruh.
You know?
Mark Wayne Thompson pled guilty to delay or destruction of mail.
Thompson admitted that instead of delivering mail, he just took it home with him and burned it.
As a result, he now faces up to five years in prison or three years supervised release.
That's hilarious.
What you in for, man?
Oh, you know, fucking cooking up a batch of cooking up a batch of bed, bath, and beyond coupons.
What is the world coming to?
I don't know, but I think we can embrace it with a smile as it does.
You know, there is dark stuff going on out there.
You know, porn stars are dying.
People are jerking off to dead people on the internet.
And you might not like the way I frame that, but that's a real framing.
That is a real framing, boy.
That's Michaels.
That's done in the back of Michaels.
You know it.
It's more expensive Than you thought.
That's real framing.
You know, but there's still also those mothers out there who are asking, how can they help and do and raise their kids?
And they want to know from kids who have grown up: what could your mother or your mother, what did she do, or what could your mother have done that you think would have helped you along the way?
And that is a good way I think we can frame that question.
So I appreciate you guys' calls, man.
I appreciate everybody that came out and brought.
I hope to see you guys soon.
We'll do some ads in the upcoming episode.
Oh, that's my brother.
My brother right there.
What's up, Z?
Hey, bruh.
You saw it.
Dude, don't tell me what happened.
No, no, no.
I didn't.
Look, do not tell me.
Oh, man, you should have texted me, man.
Well, that's why I didn't.
I wouldn't have told you anything if you had said, hey, don't tell me anything about the game.
No, actually, this is a perfect ending because I'm just finishing up my podcast.
This is the very end, and I don't know what happened.
I paused it right after the Saints kicked their field goal.
There was 25 seconds left.
And you're on the podcast now, and I can take this off later if you want.
But why don't you tell me what happened?
I want to know.
Now you want to know what happened in the game?
Well, yeah, I mean, now's the time to know.
This is almost, I mean, I'm just finishing the podcast.
This is the perfect time.
And we were just talking about Brotherhood and stuff a minute ago, so this is kind of perfect.
All right, we want me to give about 10 minutes about who I am?
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, I appreciate it, dude.
Well, there was 10 seconds left.
The third and 10 or whatever.
They need about 20 yards to get a field goal range, 25 yards.
They need more than that.
And, you know, I put it like this.
There's a 1 in 100 chance that the Saints lose.
1%.
Yeah.
And they fell into that 1%.
Yeah.
They lost.
Dude, he threw it to Tavon Diggs, whatever his name is.
Dude caught it like 40, right?
Right.
About probably four feet from the sideline.
Marcus Williams was right there.
Like, all he had to do was literally pull him to the ground.
But for some weird reason, when Tayvon Diggs jumped in the air, Marcus Williams dove underneath him.
I don't know what he was doing.
I think he was trying to upend him or something.
And when he dove underneath him and missed him, I mean, clearly missed him.
Like feet, he rolled into the other cornerback.
I don't know who it might have been Lattimore who it was there.
And Tayvon Diggs just ran into the end zone.
No, they got a touchdown?
Yeah, it was zero seconds from Flock.
Zero seconds left.
Dude, they were like on our 35. Yeah.
No, and they were on 35 or 40. Like a 1% chance we would lose that game at that point.
Damn, man.
I think they lost like that similar to Tampa Bay.
I didn't see the end of the Tampa Bay game, but I'm just kind of making it.
It was a hard break, man.
It was a hard break, man.
It really was because I didn't think we'd win that game.
We were down 17 to nothing at the half.
Yeah, I know.
I didn't think we'd win going in.
We had like a 30 or 40% shot.
And we came back and really played really well the second half.
Yeah.
You just made such a weird play.
I don't know what he was.
I really don't know what he was doing.
I can't figure it out.
they contained him well.
I mean, it was like a last-ditch effort, basically, is what it was.
And I just don't see how it happened, you know, it's over now.
I mean, our season's over.
I still can't believe it, but it is over, but man.
I mean, yeah, the weirdest stuff, dude.
Damn, man.
I know it.
We had the game, man.
Do we, I thought, I figured we have a really, really good shot here.
Man.
I'm ready to go smoke some crack now.
Damn, dude.
You out there, boy.
Quick question.
So actually, we had a lady that called in, and she said, what is something?
She's about to have her second child.
And she said, what is something that mothers can do with their sons these days to help make them better men?
And it's kind of a question for mothers, but it's also a question for sons.
What do you think is one thing?
Something a mother can do with their children to make them better men, their son?
Yeah, or something they could talk to and instill in them.
I don't know.
I think it was a little bit broad, but.
Yeah, well, you know, I don't know if there's a lot you can do when those children are young to make them better men when they get older.
I think some of that, some of the, I don't know, some of the male stuff we learn when they're a little bit older, but when they're young, I think the best thing a mother could do is connect with, emotionally connect with their children and be emotionally available.
Don't make sure that the child knows that their behavior does not determine your love for them, even if it makes you upset what they do, what they don't do.
And another thing, you know, is you can tell children early on, you can explain certain things to them.
You might simplify it, but they will understand you.
Right.
I tell five-year-olds, you know, I've been telling them my five and four-year-old, six and five now, but even since they were four, if I'm mad at you, it doesn't mean I don't love you.
No matter what you do, I'll love you.
Now, that's what you do may get you in trouble, but it has maybe I don't love you.
And they understand, you know.
Yeah.
Now that's you.
Yeah, my five-year-old will say, you're mad at me.
You don't love me.
He'll say that.
Max will say that.
And I'll say, no, it doesn't mean that.
It means that I'm mad at you.
So you kind of, you know, you just kind of help them along.
And emotional availability and accepting unconditional love is what they need.
I mean, that's the only time I like in life that these unconditional love are warranted is parent-child, especially mother-child.
I mean, they have to be able to, they have to know that you love them no matter what they do.
Even if they kill somebody when they're eight or ten, I mean, I'm not saying I'm just an extreme example.
No, they got some young hitters out there.
Yeah.
The amount, you know, the amount of your love should not waver.
Now.
Yeah, because you're the only place they can get that.
Right.
And you may choose not to talk to them or be extremely disappointed not to talk to them for a year or whatever, but, you know.
So I think it's real important, you know, because sometimes in our society where our worth is built on what we do or we don't do.
And I think a lot of that starts through parenthood, you know, when the children are young.
Yeah.
You can fill that tank up early and let them know that.
Now, look, man, I even disliked hearing that, you know, that not what, you know, my behavior.
If I would have heard that when I was young, I think I would have, I might be a little bit of a healthier person today, you know?
Yeah, me too.
I mean, as you know, me too.
Yeah.
All right, man.
Well, I appreciate you calling.
I'm going to call you later because I got to run.
I literally have to drive straight to Brea right now.
All right, I'm going to go hit this crack.
Love you.
Damn, love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
That's my brother, Zephyrino.
He lives down in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
But yeah, I think that's an interesting answer.
He really likes to think about this kind of stuff, and he loves to be a parent.
And his wife is a stay-at-home mom, and that's a CEO in my book.
I mean, if I could go back in time, man, this shit's got me a little bit emotional, but if I could go back in time and have anything, I would have that.
I mean, I can't even imagine what that would be like, to just be at home and be having fun and be comfortable and have your mom around, you know?
But anyhow, dude, you guys are hitting me in the hot meat here at the end.
But that's a great question.
We'll leave it right there.
I had a lovely young gentleman, Mr. Ochoa, who messaged in.
He's afraid to call in.
He had a question I thought was interesting.
But we're going to get to that on Thursday, brother.
So if you're out there, hold the line and we'll see you then.
If you have questions, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
I'm Ronnie Nebrea.
I appreciate you guys.
Be good to yourselves.
you probably deserve it.
Celebrate living.
Celebrate Mizovi.
You know what I'm going to die?
Let's have to while we all die.
Celebrate our day.
Celebrate our day.
All of our people die.
Let's have some fun while we all die.
Let's have some fun.
Bye.
you Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
The answer may shock you.
Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
Sometimes I won't.
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
You have three new voice messages.
A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
So great.
Hi, Sui.
Is it there?
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
Jamain.
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club.
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
