Tim & Co. join commentator and YouTuber Lauren Southern in an exclusive members-only podcast from Timcast.com. Subscribe to gain access to this an other awesome behind-the-scenes episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Welcome to our special weekend show, Sunday Uncensored. | ||
| Every week we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're going to bring you the most important for our weekend show. | ||
| If you want to check out more segments just like this, become a member at TimCast.com. | ||
|
unidentified
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Now, enjoy the show. | |
| We're doing things. | ||
| We're doing things. | ||
| Yo, what up, my friends? | ||
| Things are being done. | ||
| Welcome to the special show with Lauren Southern and swords. | ||
| This right here, this is a sword forged from meteorite. | ||
| It is a katana. | ||
| I don't know too much about it. | ||
| My understanding is that it's meant to be a replica of the sword from heaven from, I think it's Gambia. | ||
| And this sword is forged from meteorite. | ||
| It's very expensive. | ||
|
unidentified
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Is this one meteorite too? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Lauren is wielding a sword with no name. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| And legit, that thing is so sharp that I was oiling it and I tapped the side of the side of my finger and it cut my skin. | ||
|
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Wow! | |
| No joke. | ||
| I haven't touched a blade that sharp ever. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| What's this bad boy called? | ||
| That's just some like toy from the internet. | ||
| Perfect for me. | ||
| Yeah, Ian has the Amazon toy with the plastic, I think. | ||
| Do you guys ever practice with Bokin? | ||
| Is that what they're called? | ||
| The wooden swords? | ||
|
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Bokin? | |
| Yeah, you like, can sword train with a wooden thing? | ||
|
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No, I only use plastic lightsabers. | |
| It seems like you'd really enjoy sword training. | ||
| Have you ever done that? | ||
|
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No, I feel like I would enjoy, I use guns because I don't want to end up like that scene in Indiana Jones. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Lauren, now that you are wielding. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So that sword needs a name. | ||
| And I got a recommendation from Lily Tang because she's actually from China. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| The issue is that the name she gave me while it was cool was also the name of a Yu-Gi-Oh card called the Southern Sword. | ||
| And so I decided I don't think I can name it after a Yu-Gi-Oh card, even though the name was legit. | ||
| It was like an emperor's name and like some illusion. | ||
| And that's why the Yu-Gi-Oh card used it. | ||
| And I'm like... Name it after Loren. | ||
| Call it the Southern Sword. | ||
|
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The Southern Sword. | |
| I know like five Asian words. | ||
| We can call it like hentai or something. | ||
| That's like one of the only Asian words. | ||
| You gotta have the sword of the north and the sword of the south. | ||
| They actually asked me to name it. | ||
|
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What's that? | |
| Hajime mashite. | ||
| I think that's a greeting. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
|
unidentified
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That means hello in Japanese. | |
| Well, no, I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it does. | |
| Oh, yeah, it does. | ||
| Hajimemashite? | ||
| Konnichiwa. | ||
|
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Konnichiwa is a version of hello. | |
| And konbanwa is good evening. | ||
|
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I think hajimemashite... That's when you meet for the first time in Japan. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Ohayougozaimasu. | ||
|
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That's good morning. | |
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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And toshokan is library. | |
| Toshokan, huh? | ||
| And tomate means stop. | ||
|
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Toshokan. | |
| So, do you want to know why I wanted to show everybody lower and southern wielding the powerful blade? | ||
| Because we have this story from TimCast.com. | ||
| Strange trend of food processing plant fires appears across the US. | ||
| At least 16 fires have broken out at food processing plants, impacting the nation's supply of beef and poultry. | ||
| So, this is something that people noticed on Twitter. | ||
| WallstreetSilver was tweeting about it. | ||
| A bunch of people were sharing this where it shows all of these different food plants with weird fires or whatever. | ||
| Lydia brought this up the other day, but there was no cohesive structure around the story, just people mentioning the rumors. | ||
| So, we asked the crew over at Timcast, can you pull this together and see if there's anything here? | ||
| What we can conclude, it may just be coincidental. | ||
| And the one thing I always want to say is, it's possible that fires happen all the time at food plants, we just don't care. | ||
| But now that food is in shortage and we're worried about it, we're suddenly paying attention to the fact that there are fires at these buildings. | ||
| But, Should the fires get worse, ladies and gentlemen, it will be very wise to wield a sword forged from meteorites. | ||
|
unidentified
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So true. | |
| Now here's the best part. | ||
| When all hell breaks loose and the hordes of hipsters who don't know how to farm come rushing to our territory to steal our chickens, Lauren need only hold up the meteorite sword and powerful holy light will blast evil and wipe them out. | ||
|
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I'll have to use a bottle for now. | |
| Seamus has confiscated my sword. | ||
| I have. | ||
| Yeah, she's not getting that thing back. | ||
| So Lawrence He-Man, who are you? | ||
| I'm He-Man. | ||
| Many faces. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm Trap Jaw. | ||
| What about you, Tim? | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm Skeletor! | |
| I'm not some cartoon character, so sorry. | ||
| Are you not going to drink the corn whiskey? | ||
| Lawrence smelled the corn whiskey and then just like winced. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's pretty awful. | |
| Oh! | ||
| Oh, miss, I take a $1,700 bottle of whiskey off the shelf and go, I can drink a $9 bottle if I want things. | ||
| She's too good for the corn whiskey. | ||
| How interesting. | ||
| I didn't say I was too good for it. | ||
| I said it smells bad. | ||
| It smells like whiskey. | ||
| It smells bad. | ||
| It smells like whiskey. | ||
| I'm the kind of person who can have a $9 bottle and be fine. | ||
| I think it's probably like $11. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what? | |
| Maybe I'm watching my limit and playing within it like a responsible person. | ||
| And rhyming while you're at it. | ||
| then that would be a change of pace. | ||
| If if Lauren thought the corn whiskey was... | ||
| It smells good, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like rubbing alcohol. | ||
| Smells like whiskey. | ||
|
unidentified
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Just swig it from the bottle. | |
| No, no, I smelled deeply. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoo! | |
| Yeah, that's like rubbing alcohol, man. | ||
| Seamus, drink it. | ||
| I'm out of cups! | ||
|
unidentified
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Alright, I'm gonna go get you one. | |
| Thanks. | ||
| That works pretty good. | ||
| Lauren and Seamus are going to have a corn whiskey drinking contest as we lament the destruction of our food processing plants in the end. | ||
| It's crazy that bottles can be worth $1,300. | ||
| It's like people get so rich that they don't know what to do but just drink alcohol. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, hold your horses, bro. | ||
| I don't drink. | ||
| He just likes to smell it. | ||
| The papi does smell better than the corn with me. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It's got like a maple smell to it. | ||
| It is expensive, but it's because... Here's what you guys gotta understand about how studios and shows work. | ||
| We did not pay Lauren Southern to be here. | ||
| No. | ||
| Who would? | ||
| But we do cover costs, but also it's like if people are gonna come out and come on the show, we're gonna make sure they're taken care of and they're gonna be drinking in style. | ||
|
unidentified
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They're gonna make sure I have my $9 corn whiskey, right? | |
| Well, look, you poured a paper cup of $1,300 whiskey. | ||
| Let me, let me... And pass me that. | ||
| Should've been in the glass. | ||
| You don't have to pass it to me. | ||
| What's the, uh, what proof is that? | ||
| Uh, 90.4. | ||
| Okay, $1,700, sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
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So this is 100 proof, which means you get more alcohol for your dollar. | |
| So, really? | ||
| 1,656. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, you'll be getting your bill on the mail. | ||
| No, Lauren, you're a lot to drink. | ||
| There's so much fiat. | ||
| You don't have to drink the corn whiskey. | ||
| Wait, hold on! | ||
| What? | ||
| You just asked me to. | ||
| Seamus, you're drinking the corn whiskey. | ||
| Tim, first of all, she shouldn't be able to drink any whiskey. | ||
| What's your favorite alcohol type? | ||
| Gin? | ||
| Whiskey? | ||
|
unidentified
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What else is there? | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| Are you drinking the corn whiskey? | ||
| Yeah, I do have a little bit of corn. | ||
| I had some the other day. | ||
| You guys don't have to drink corn whiskey. | ||
| You can drink the good stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
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That literally tastes like nail polish remover. | |
| How do you know how nail polish remover tastes? | ||
|
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You know, as a kid, it's expensive. | |
| Can't get into the liquor store. | ||
| Well, let me see that bottle. | ||
| Next time, tell me when a drink tastes like lead paint. | ||
|
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Actually, when I was in high school, I tried once to do that. | |
| I tried once to get an adult to go in and buy me liquor, because I got invited to a party, and the first person I asked was an undercover cop. | ||
| This is why you weren't invited to the party! | ||
| This is 50%. | ||
| I know, that's why I said it's 100 proof. | ||
| You get more bang for your buck, because that's $9, that's $1,700, and that's only 90 proof. | ||
| We have, um... What's that nasty shit we have downstairs? | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
|
unidentified
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Malort? | |
| Malort! | ||
| Is that nasty? | ||
| Malort's delicious! | ||
|
unidentified
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Malort? | |
| You've never had Malort. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't typically drink whiskey. | |
| It's not whiskey. | ||
|
unidentified
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I only act like a degenerate on camera. | |
| All right, check this out. | ||
| Jepson's Malort. | ||
| It's a brand of Bosque liquor. | ||
| It's wormwood. | ||
| It's known for its bitter taste. | ||
| It can be found in some Chicago-area taverns and liquor stores and is growing in popularity but is hard to find elsewhere in the U.S. | ||
| They say... There was something on the Wikipedia where they said... I don't feel like reading it. | ||
| They said that it's... Let me see if I can read it. | ||
| That it's basically a prank. | ||
| It's a practical joke people play on people. | ||
| You're giving it away. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a prank liquor. | |
| Well, that's basically it. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| People who aren't from Chicago, they'll go like, have you ever had Malort? | ||
| And they'll be like, no. | ||
| You've got to try it, it's so good. | ||
| And it's just awful. | ||
| So people buy it for the sake of making people drink something awful. | ||
| It's like a meme drink. | ||
| It's the reason is because Chicago is so much better than New York and the food is so much better that you can actually fake people out and give them something disgusting and they'll still eat your other food because of the reputation because it's better. | ||
|
unidentified
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Do they sell a lot of that? | |
| We can play games like that. | ||
| Lord, is that like heavily sold in Chicago? | ||
| Yeah, for many years it was only sold in Chicago. | ||
| So we actually had it picked up from Chicago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's the best liquor on the planet? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| There's a liquor store nearby that has an $80,000 bottle of whiskey. | ||
| Oh my god, don't buy it. | ||
| Apparently, George Clooney flew out to go pick one up because he had like two bottles. | ||
| I mean, George Clooney, he's like, I'll buy it. | ||
| It just seems absurd to me. | ||
| Is it like a tax write-off? | ||
| Can you do it as a business expense? | ||
| I don't know, but have you ever had Louis the 13th no | ||
| $5,000 bottle of cognac and it's like a hundred dollars. I think it's $200 an ounce or something like that | ||
| And they when they pour it They're like very carefully measuring it and they have like | ||
| droppers to make sure you get perfectly when it's so expensive | ||
| Wow, and then it was funny. I was at a bar. I think it was a Christmas or New Year's something and | ||
| And we had, like, everyone got one. | ||
| And then as he poured it, a drip came down and, like, fell down. | ||
| I'm like, there's ten bucks. | ||
| Like, holy shit. | ||
| Or, like, five dollars just dripping. | ||
| And then when he picked up, there's a ring. | ||
| And I'm like, that's probably another ten bucks. | ||
| I had a really good top-shelf vodka that was really good. | ||
| It had almost no flavor. | ||
| I don't know if it was Bombay or something. | ||
|
unidentified
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So why would it be really good? | |
| Because it didn't have any flavor. | ||
| Because alcohol is just, like, rotten food. | ||
|
unidentified
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I like wine. | |
| The best wine I had in my life was from a place called Tumbarumba in Australia. | ||
| Everywhere is just named after Dr. Seuss shit in Australia, I swear. | ||
| It's like, Gundagai, Wollongong, Tumbarumba. | ||
| Pretty sure that's racist, Lauren. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, it's Kimberly Fletcher here from Moms4America with some very exciting news. | |
| Tucker Carlson is going on a nationwide tour this fall, and Moms4America has the exclusive VIP meet-and-greet experience for you. | ||
| Before each show, you can have the opportunity to meet Tucker Carlson in person. | ||
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| See you on the tour! | ||
| Does it not sound like Dr. Seuss books? | ||
| All the places in Australia. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Maybe Dr. Seuss was inspired by the aboriginals. | ||
|
unidentified
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Tumbarumba is the place that... Is that what that comes from? | |
| How long were you living there? | ||
|
unidentified
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Two years, and then they took away my visa because of my politics. | |
| Did you get to the op-ed? | ||
|
unidentified
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Wait, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought you were on TV there. | ||
|
unidentified
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I was, but I came back to Canada for a funeral and got locked out because I'm on the character assessment list. | |
| But don't you have family there? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yep, it's really rough right now, to be honest. | |
| Wow, that's fucked up, dude. | ||
|
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Serious moment. | |
| But they let you back in America. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, they let me back in America, so God willing, you know, I'll be able to see my husband soon. | |
| It's been pretty tough. | ||
| Holy shit, dude, that's fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm like, I do not want my son to miss another birthday with his father, you know? | |
| It's fucked. | ||
| I don't talk about it because I'm worried about lefties trying to make it worse for me, so I don't mind on this private show. | ||
| What's your plan now? | ||
| Are you just living in Canada? | ||
|
unidentified
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We're trying to find a solution right now. | |
| They can't come here? | ||
|
unidentified
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I can tell you after the show. | |
| It's complicated, but we're trying. | ||
| What about work? | ||
| What have you been up to? | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm just finishing my documentary. | |
| It's totally done. | ||
| American Mirage. | ||
| I was down in Mexico filming Cartel. | ||
| You heard all of the illegals are coming up like in a week or two. | ||
| Oh yeah, because Title 42 is ending. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, no. | |
| They're all coming to see my documentary. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, they're coming just in time. | |
| They want to get to the premiere. | ||
| Did you see Joe Biden was asked about Title 42? | ||
| And then he said, I'm not going to make assumptions about what he believed. | ||
| He said, we need to see if the scientists agree and we're going to appeal the decision. | ||
| And everyone was like, what the fuck is he talking about? | ||
| Biden is ending Title 42, which says that we can remove an illegal immigrant the moment they come in because of COVID. | ||
| When he was asked about it, he says, well, you know, we're going to appeal this one and then, you know, see what the scientists have to say. | ||
| And we're like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like what the fuck are you talking about, dude? | ||
| Even Caitlin Collins of CNN was like, Biden appears to be confused as to what he's talking about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you're like 150,000 people about to cross the border and he's like, well, we got to sue him for see what the scientists have to say. | ||
| It's like, yeah. | ||
| What do scientists have to do with people crossing the border, bro? | ||
| He must've thought they were talking about something else. | ||
| The mask mandates. | ||
| But Joe Biden is a fucking crackpot. | ||
| And so his brain don't work. | ||
| When you were in Australia, did you go on the Outback? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, often? | |
| Did you fight a kangaroo? | ||
|
unidentified
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I killed a kangaroo. | |
| No. | ||
| Unfortunately. | ||
|
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It was like a six foot tall kangaroo too. | |
| Just bull bar middle of the night. | ||
| I was like, no, we can save it! | ||
| You said on Twitter, you said you almost you sunk your Jeep. | ||
|
unidentified
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I sunk my Jeep. | |
| Almost flipped it. | ||
| You're like best day of my life when you almost flip a Jeep, but you don't. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, but then the next day I sunk it. | |
| So what happened exactly? | ||
|
unidentified
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I've been doing a bunch of off-roading, getting my mind off the craziness, and I just got a manual Jeep. | |
| So not only am I learning manual driving, I'm learning off-roading. | ||
| And I saw this beautiful, gorgeous puddle, and I was like, I can go through that puddle. | ||
| I can do it. | ||
| Go at it full speed, because sometimes if it's too deep, you have to go real fast, or your wheels will get stuck in the mud and sink, especially if it's a proper pond. | ||
| Went in and then down. | ||
| Like, it wasn't just how it looked visually. | ||
| It was like a pit in the water. | ||
| And I just got stuck, hydro-locked the engine. | ||
| I had to go out, you know, get myself completely soaked. | ||
| I had my family with me. | ||
| They just sat on top of the Jeep and did nothing, of course, while I went and found a car to go and drag us out. | ||
| But the Jeep's pretty done. | ||
| Was it just on some random road? | ||
| Like a trail or something? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it's like, middle of nowhere, BC. | |
| I've found all these, like, back roads that are just fantastic. | ||
| If you don't do off-roading, you should, and you should have an old off-roading vehicle anyways for the apocalypse. | ||
| I always say this, like, you know, you're gonna have government checkpoints all over the place if it gets, like, really bad, fascistic government, communist, and you're gonna want to be able to travel between cities not on main roads, even if it just gets, like, disorderly with, like, high crime rates. | ||
| You can actually travel between cities using just power line trails because they have to | ||
| create those trails to fix the power lines. | ||
| So if you're ever like, I don't know what the F I'm going to do, shit out of luck, the world's a | ||
| mess, power line trails. Take those. If you have an off-roading vehicle, you'll be sorted. | ||
| How many people live in Australia? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's like 28 million, so just a little less than Canada. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which city are you allowed to say? | ||
|
unidentified
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I was in Canberra for a while, Sydney and Brisbane, so back and forth. | |
| I heard Sydney is like LA, like the LA of Australia. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's, I'd say that's a fair comparison. | ||
| But is it like palm trees and stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Is it the same? | ||
| Are there palm trees anywhere else? | ||
| Like Sydney? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's kind of Australia in general. | |
| Well, it's like reverse, right? | ||
| The further you go north, the hotter it gets. | ||
| The further you go south, the colder it gets. | ||
| So Canberra is like a bit Canada-ish. | ||
| So the rednecks are in the north. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Far north is like crocodiles everywhere. | ||
| What's going on with those concentration camps? | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean, a lot of it is rolling back now, finally, in Australia, from my understanding. | |
| They've just opened up. | ||
| You can visit the country now. | ||
| You can see your family after two years. | ||
| I know Sydney Watson is finally going back to see her family. | ||
| It's a trick. | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| They're trying to bring COVID stuff restrictions back. | ||
| Look at the deserts of Australia. | ||
| Is that ocean sand? | ||
| Like the Sahara? | ||
| Do they find like seashells and stuff in it? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, I know it's pretty, like, you can't really live in the center of Australia. | |
| In fact, there are, I think they filmed Star Wars in one of the towns there in central Australia, because they literally live underground. | ||
| That's how hot it is. | ||
| They have to live underground in the... | ||
| Outback towns in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Alice Springs. | ||
| Yeah, they live underground in places in Alice Springs. | ||
| That's like a hardcore native area. | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| I'll have to find the actual city. | ||
| Dude, that's so cool. | ||
|
unidentified
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There are areas that are below ground there, like whole community centers and everything. | |
| Oh, look how green it is over here. | ||
| What's up with that? | ||
| Like an oasis? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, we spent a lot of time traveling and outback traveling through Australia. | |
| It was lovely. | ||
| It's nuts when they find oceans. | ||
| Oh, dude, wouldn't it be so fun to go and visit this tiny-ass fucking nowhere zone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay, another problem they have in the middle of outback Australia. | |
| Korean food, dude. | ||
| They've got a ton of camels. | ||
| I think it's like the most camels on earth, like outside of their natural habitat. | ||
| And they suck up so much water and they're not natural to the land. | ||
| So they've actually got a job paid for by the government where guys go up in helicopters and snipe camels all day to try and reduce their population from killing marsupials. | ||
| Tell me you would not want to eat at this Korean restaurant in the motherfucking ass Outback. | ||
| I'm so down. | ||
| Simply Korean restaurant in Alice Springs. | ||
| Look where that is. | ||
| I'm zooming out. | ||
| Just right there, smack dab in the middle of fucking nowhere. | ||
|
unidentified
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Tim, look up Coober Petty. | |
| How do you spell it? | ||
|
unidentified
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I told you everything's... C-O-O-B-E-R-P-E-D-Y, Coober Petty. | |
| And then if you find... What am I looking for? | ||
| Maybe look it up on Google because they've got all of their stuff is underground. | ||
| Coober Petty underground. | ||
| Whoa, look at those pictures! | ||
| Are the pictures in here? | ||
|
unidentified
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Just look up Coober Petty underground images. | |
| It'll probably be better. | ||
| So they're like Morlocks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Elon just raised a bunch of money for Boring Company. | ||
| He's hiring. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| There's like a TV down there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, just cooler underground and it's hot as out there. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So like geothermal AC, it's always 55 degrees underground, just a few feet. | ||
| So it's super cheap to cool the air. | ||
| It just goes through the ground and the heat dissipates. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And then in the winter, it's always 55 degrees, so even when it's hot out, you can easily get heat up to 55 and then supplement it after the fact. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think they filmed Mad Max out in this area, too. | |
| Oh, the first one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, let me see. | |
| Where was Mad Max filmed? | ||
| Yeah, this is cool. | ||
| Hey guys, Josh Hammer here, the host of America on Trial with Josh Hammer, a podcast for the First Podcast Network. | ||
| Look, there are a lot of shows out there that are explaining the political news cycle, what's happening on the Hill, this and that. | ||
| There are no other shows that are cutting straight to the point when it comes to the unprecedented lawfare debilitating Melbourne, Australia. | ||
| Melbourne! | ||
| the 2024 presidential election. | ||
| We do all of that every single day right here on America on Trial with Josh Hammer. | ||
| Subscribe and download your episodes wherever you get your podcasts. | ||
| It's America on Trial with Josh Hammer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They start every uprising. | |
| I'm pretty sure, like, the right to vote for, like, the average citizen in Australia was started by an Irish workers' uprising in the Melbourne area. | ||
| It's always the Irish that start this. | ||
| What's up with the Irish? | ||
| It's because they've been oppressed by British so they don't want to take it anymore? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me look it up. | |
| This just looks like the coolest place to be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For a minute. | ||
| Just like smack dab in the middle of Australia. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| 120 degrees? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| John's Pizza Bar and Restaurant. | ||
| That is so awesome. | ||
| And they're open right now. | ||
| Dude, should we call them up and order a pizza? | ||
| I will pay for delivery. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| That looks like the worst pizza I have ever seen. | ||
| Dang. | ||
| That is not food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, where else are you going to go? | |
| Where else are you going to go if you're out there? | ||
| They burnt the hell out of that cheese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| That's your option. | ||
| Well, they didn't. | ||
| It's just been sitting on the table. | ||
| But, you know, it's Coober Patty, so it just happened. | ||
| Is it basil? | ||
| No, I'm kidding. | ||
| That's actually not bad looking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks good. | |
| But people don't understand, like, dough doesn't rise the same way at different altitudes and different latitudes and stuff. | ||
| So did you not know that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I didn't. | |
| That's, like, very specific. | ||
| Because the... I'm sorry, not latitudes. | ||
| Altitudes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Because of the thinness of the air? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you have to... Like, there's different temperature settings. | ||
| If you buy a pizza, it'll be like, if you're above X amount of feet, cook it this way. | ||
| Otherwise, like, the crust doesn't rise or something. | ||
| Also, be sure to get organic flour, because they use Monsanto's glyphosate as a desiccant on flour if it's not organic. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Before they harvest the wheat, they've got to dry it out, and that's what they call desiccation. | ||
| And they use this fucking chemical to desiccate it, glyphosate, which is linked to cancer and stuff. | ||
| Let's zoom out. | ||
| Go organic, especially with your wheat flour. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is barren wasteland. | ||
| Dude, there's nothing there. | ||
| Yeah, so I wonder if this is from the flood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You just die out there if your car breaks down. | |
| Wild. | ||
| Did you hear the story about the lady who got, she drove 500 miles into the outback because Apple Maps told her to? | ||
| And then she kept going and then she ran out of gas and was stranded? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like you'll full-on die. | |
| How did she end up living? | ||
| Just happened to have service out there or what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Hey, look at this! | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This looks like a foreign, like an alien world. | ||
| Mintoby Area School. | ||
| Look at this! | ||
| It's like, do you live in salt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you build a house of salt? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| There's buildings, but like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Oh, I loved visiting Outback Towns when I was there. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Is that ocean? | ||
| I wonder if there's salt. | ||
| It could be ocean sand. | ||
| Go check it out. | ||
| During the flood, they flooded the Sahara. | ||
| That's all a bunch of ocean sand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do a Timcast fan meetup in Australia. | |
| We'll bring the trailer. | ||
| Just pick the most absurd location. | ||
| The middle of the Outback? | ||
| I gotta be honest, look at the Sahara compared to the Outback. | ||
| It's much darker. | ||
| It's way bigger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's red sand, right? | |
| Is it clay? | ||
| No, for real, what's right here? | ||
| How do you get to this place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get exiled from your tribe. | |
| Janet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exile culture. | |
| Look at this! | ||
| Janet, where's the pizza hut? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's look. | |
| Whoa, whoa, whoa! | ||
| There it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a pizza hut everywhere. | |
| Pizza! | ||
| I thought it said pizza. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mud hut motel? | |
| Whoa, where? | ||
| Up there on the top left. | ||
| It's five stars. | ||
| Mud hut motel. | ||
| Do you not see that? | ||
| Whoa, mud hut motel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fascinating that you would have towns just set up in the middle of it. | |
| Oh, it's not a mud hut. | ||
| It's a regular building. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lies. | |
| And where is this? | ||
| Oh, is this Australia? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's back in Australia. | |
| You brought me back to Australia. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| So, like, when you're in Western Australia, do you just die? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you just die. | |
| Well, no, you can just eat kangaroo, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kangaroo meat used to be a delicacy. | |
| I had kangaroo before. | ||
| There was a, there was a bait shop near Chicago that had exotic meats and they had like, they had ostrich and kangaroo and I bought some. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's like so many damn kangaroos. | |
| What did it taste like? | ||
| Like a beef stick. | ||
| Apparently like, it's like deer, like kangaroos like deer, I guess? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it used to be like a steak delicacy before environmentalists had these like protests over it all being exported. | |
| It was particularly liked in Russia, actually. | ||
| And you'll see if you're like in real outback Australia, which my husband and I have spent a lot of time in, Do you guys know that Japan is like 70 miles from Russia? | ||
| What? | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| People never talk about Vladivostok. | ||
| I've always wanted to go here. | ||
| Cause look where it is. | ||
| This is Russia, but it's like next to Japan. | ||
| And so you come down and come in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Super cool. | ||
| I've always wanted to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cause it's just like, Let's find the pizza place there. | |
| Dodo Pizza, bro! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at it! | |
| There we go! | ||
| See, one thing humans have in common, man. | ||
| Look at that, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pizza. | |
| That looks good. | ||
| It's got pineapple and pomegranate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wasn't the first commercial at the end of, like, the Soviet Union Gorbachev eating at Pizza Hut? | |
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Was it Pizza Hut or was it Domino's? | ||
| Look at this abomination. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it was Domino's. | |
| I think you're right. | ||
| Actually, I would be... That looks like baked cheese. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It's like a fast food pizza place. | ||
| People don't talk about Eastern Russia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was Pizza Hut. | |
| I was wrong. | ||
| I spread misinformation. | ||
| I thought it was Domino's. | ||
| Is there a Pizza Hut in Siberia? | ||
| I always wanted to go to Siberia and take the train along there. | ||
| Pizza Hut night near Siberia, Russia. | ||
| Yo, there's tons of Pizza Huts in Siberia. | ||
| Look at all this. | ||
| Siberia's gonna be hot. | ||
| No, no, this can't be right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the United States. | |
| I typed in Siberia, Russia, and it's like in Pennsylvania. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the heck? | |
| No, there is no Russia. | ||
| Yeah, Russia is a boogeyman to scare kids. | ||
| Dude, Russia's so big! | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Why isn't it zooming in? | ||
| Where is Siberia? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's something Google doesn't want you to know, Tim. | |
| Did you see that they took Maripol today? | ||
| Maripol? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| What happened in Maripol? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Russians took it, the city. | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| All right, here we go. | ||
| Siberia. | ||
| Now we do this. | ||
| Now we go pizza. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, Russia took over Maripol. | ||
| Now we gotta find the pizza. | ||
| It's gonna- it's gonna- I knew it was gonna do that. | ||
| Yeah, what the heck? | ||
| It doesn't want me to find the Russian Pizza Hut. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's something going on with that Russian Pizza Hut that they don't want us to know. | |
| You know there are cities in Russia where, like, no one can go? | ||
| Only, like, Russian citizens are allowed to go to? | ||
| Like, in the United States, we don't have that. | ||
| If you- if you come on a visa, you can go where the fuck you want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But in Russia, they have things where it's, like, foreigners are not allowed to go there at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interesting. | |
| It was really hard. | ||
| I got my Russian visa and it was really difficult. | ||
| It was like four years ago that I went and I had to go to like so many like questioning sessions to get it. | ||
| It was- Questioning sessions? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like you have to actually- you can't just like apply for it online. | |
| You have to go in person to the embassy and go do like in-person interviews repeatedly to get it. | ||
| They want to make sure you're not a spy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess so. | |
| Like, I guess that's the reason. | ||
| People legit do not understand how massive Russia is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Very large. | ||
| That's why I was saying, like, Vladivostok is so interesting because it's next to Japan. | ||
| Like, look how... I was wrong when I said, you know, it was... So these are Russian right here. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| It's like 20 miles. | ||
| So this is Russia right here, and this is Japan. | ||
| Like, you can probably swim there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, all that light stuff was above water before the flood, I believe. | ||
| All that light water stuff is... This right here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was land? | ||
| People go diving down there and see temples and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so cool. | |
| We gotta go find the underwater temples, Ian. | ||
| Yo, Japan is fuckin' lit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
After I'm done at Waffle House, we can go to the underwater temples. | |
| Saitama. | ||
| I'm so ready to start scuba diving. | ||
| I would love to go. | ||
| We should do videos and stuff and make documentaries off the coast. | ||
| What's the craziest place you've been to, Lauren Southern? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The craziest place I've been to? | |
| Probably here. | ||
| America's pretty wacky. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| We love the wackiness. | ||
| Oh, is there Pizza Hut here? | ||
| Can I search for... search this area? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, there's no Pizza Hut. | ||
| When you say the craziest place, what do you mean by crazy? | ||
| Wait, what is this? | ||
| Pizza Lorenzo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dodo Pizza. | |
| I mean, they're like lawless places all over. | ||
| It's probably South Africa. | ||
| I think Dodo is in... I think that's in Romania. | ||
| Yo, Romania was fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Just like inexpensive. | ||
| I don't like saying cheap, because it's, like, offensive, I guess. | ||
| Inexpensive, because of the exchange rate. | ||
| So, like, they had good food, and it was, like, it was nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those Eastern Bloc countries are pretty wild, though. | |
| On the border of Turkey and Bulgaria, I remember driving through the towns there, and there were just, like, the roads weren't even functional, because they had so much wood stocked up on them, because they didn't have power or couldn't afford power, so they were all just burning wood. | ||
| And then there were all of these just, like, dilapidated fun parks everywhere that had been shut down. | ||
| It was like something that used to be built up great that was all dilapidated and collapsing. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| Where is North Korea? | ||
| Are you going to give us a little sneak peek of something on this show? | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| We can't show it on the show. | ||
| You guys would lose your minds. | ||
| You can't handle my cartoons. | ||
| Look at this, the border of... There's a barbeque Liyuan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Dude, Tim, his mind is racing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, if you had to live in any other country... Why did I think you had been to South Korea? | |
| I've been to South Korea. | ||
| Because I interviewed... And they look the same. | ||
| I interviewed people who went there. | ||
| I field produced the North Korean motorcycle diaries. | ||
| Let me pull this up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you go if you could? | |
| Not at this point. | ||
| You'd be a good envoy, being part Korean and stuff. | ||
| So, not at this point, but I field produced this documentary. | ||
| It's actually one of Vice's biggest, and I'm legit proud of this work. | ||
| You can see here, let me give myself some credit. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm surprised they haven't gone back and edited your name out. | |
| Field producer, Tim Pool! | ||
| Oh, what's this? | ||
| North Korean? | ||
| Yeah, so I actually went to New Zealand and I interviewed these people who had footage from North Korea. | ||
| I did not go. | ||
| But it's funny because a lot of people were claiming I did go because of this. | ||
| They were like, whoa, Tim Pool is the field producer. | ||
| He's been to North Korea. | ||
| It's like, these people are from New Zealand. | ||
| I went to New Zealand and interviewed them and they gave us footage and then we put the footage together with their narration. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you ever think about the fact that like, what if North Korea are actually like the sane, correct, happy ones and we're all in the North Korea? | |
| Like Kim Il-sung literally invented the universe? | ||
| They're underground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're just like living in this utopia and they're like, man, if only we could get these Westerners off their CNN propaganda and like... | |
| What if the ancient Egyptians were right, and everyone since just got it wrong? | ||
| So true. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| And, you know, poor Ra. | ||
| I would love to negotiate with North Korea. | ||
| If that could be like, because Kim Jong-un, the thing about having a cult leader or like one supreme leader is if he decides like, yeah, I'll give up the throne and make a democracy. | ||
| Let's implement this. | ||
| It will happen. | ||
| So if we can get through to the dude. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think the people behind him would probably try to have him killed if he was going to fundamentally change the structure of the country. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't really think about the North Korean oligarchs much. | |
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| You got any plans for future documentaries? | ||
| I've got another one that I've been working on called Empty Love on relationships and modern dating, Tinder, all of that. | ||
| I actually interviewed two hookers out back in Australia. | ||
| They were great. | ||
| You know what we should do? | ||
| We were thinking about having on this lady doctor, psychologist, to like talk about... It depends. | ||
| This doctor lady, is she, Lydia, actually like an expert on the dating stuff? | ||
| Is that what she does? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's her name? | |
| Her name is Chloe Carmichael. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chloe Carmichael. | |
| Yeah, I saw her tweet at somebody, and she was talking about something, and then she followed a bunch of people, and some people followed her, so I was like, hey, see if this person would be good, because we've had a male dating guy. | ||
| I don't think we've had a female dating person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lot of those male dating coaches, and I feel like it's not so represented on the female side. | |
| We had a psychologist who sees patients, and his focus is relationships between men and women, so he wasn't an alpha male dating guru or anything. | ||
| We've been talking about love. | ||
| The Greeks had eight different types of love, so Americans just use one word like eros. | ||
| Erotic love is different than philia, which is affectionate love, or storge, which is familial love, or ludus, which is flirtatious love. | ||
| Then there's mania, which is an obsessive love. | ||
| Maybe the other three. | ||
| Pragmas, enduring love. | ||
| I mean, we have English words for those things, though, bro. | ||
| But, like, what they'll say is, like, love is love. | ||
| This is, like, the pedophile agenda. | ||
| Love is love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Fucking eros is not philia. | ||
| Eros is not felocia. | ||
| Self-love is different than having erotic sexual feelings. | ||
| You just need to stop speaking other language. | ||
| Well, maybe we can make American words for it, but we should... Love does not refer to sex. | ||
| In some contexts, it's innuendo for the sake of being PC, but we quite literally say lust. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, lust is different from eros, but I get what you're saying. | |
| Lust is when it's disordered and it's about using the person, but a sexual drive for someone is not necessarily that. | ||
| It can be unitive. | ||
| I think we do have more limited language than some other languages. | ||
| I find there's so many words where I'm like, oh, I need a word for that. | ||
| Oh, it's only in German. | ||
| Like, German has a word for it, but we don't. | ||
| Or we have to use Latin terms or whatever. | ||
| And people are just lazy. | ||
| Like you said, lust is different than love, but people will just use love because they're lazy with their language. | ||
| Agape is my favorite. | ||
| It's selfless love. | ||
| It's like the love of the community. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or like Jesus Christian. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Agape. | |
| Yeah, we should do that. | ||
| So we wanted to do like a Friday where we just talked like modern family dating and stuff. | ||
| We've done those before and those are fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I find it's very difficult talking about that stuff on the internet in general. | ||
| Just there's so much posturing, there's so much bad advice on the internet about relationships, and because it's such a, oh, you can't really show data to back up the advice you're giving, you'll have opposite advice on different channels that have equal amount of popularity. | ||
| It's a real mess out there. | ||
| Do you want to pose with that sword for the thumbnail? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can do that for you. | |
| I'm actually curious, is Cupid's... Where's the sword? | ||
| Oh, I confiscated it from her. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Give it back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She can come get it. | |
| Sword swipe. | ||
| She can come get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a wild person. | |
| So you need to just... We need a shot of you holding it so that I can screen grab it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Are Cupid's arrows a pun on arrows? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Cupid's arrows. | ||
| Yeah, it's like Cupid's arrows. | ||
| Is that a pun? | ||
| Got him. | ||
| I doubt it. | ||
| Who was he? | ||
| Was he a real guy? | ||
| Was it like a little kid with a bow and arrow? | ||
| What the fuck was he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cupid was... panel patient. | |
| Alright, so this is the... thumbnail. | ||
| Careful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my gosh. | |
| Please be careful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll be cute. | |
| I think this was like your thumbnail last time too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't see the sword because it's like too awesome. | ||
| Turn to the side. | ||
| That's actually what you do with the other one. | ||
| That's very Conan. | ||
| So hold it horizontally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| Like this. | ||
| Like you're going to cut your own head off? | ||
| No, no, but hold it sideways. | ||
| This is safe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sir. | |
| Point it towards the TV. | ||
| Across your body? | ||
| Point it at the TV. | ||
| Point it at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Point it at the TV? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| I think I understand. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| And now everyone's like, this is the silliest show Tim's ever done. | ||
| But that's what we're going to use for the thumbnail because people are going to click on it. | ||
| I want to talk about Cupid next time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
IQ 40. | |
| Lauren, hold it horizontally. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just started a new theory. | |
| I'm happy, though. | ||
| Cupidanon, bro. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Cupidanon. | ||
| Cupid did nothing wrong. | ||
| That the government controls who we love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| With vaccines. | ||
| It's from Latin, cupido. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fauci, fly around like Cupid, like, oh, I'm gonna get you at this! | |
| You're gay now! | ||
| You're gay now. | ||
| Cupid was the son of the love goddess Venus and the god of war, Mars. | ||
| Just Fauci Cupid with little wings and he's naked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna get you! | |
| His vaccine is going to make you love! | ||
| Love me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm the love doctor! | |
| Love doctor Fauci! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love doctor Fauci says it's time to go to bed everybody and put on your masks! | |
| No, don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't. | |
| The mask man has been lifted. | ||
| I watched my cartoon about it. | ||
| Well, come back and hang out anytime, Lauren. | ||
| It's been a blast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, thanks for having me. | |
| Thank you for the $1,700 whiskey. | ||
| Oh, yeah, no problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The $34 plane ticket. | |
| Really? It's $34? | ||
| Lauren, what you're supposed to say is, I am sorry about the $1,700 whiskey | ||
| because it was not offered to you. | ||
| You took it without permission. | ||
| No, I told her she could have it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am different sets of etiquette. | |
| And she grabbed it, and I was like, yeah, yeah, good choice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not sorry about anything. | |
| Oh, yeah, you thought I had impeccable taste in alcohol? | ||
| She knows what's up. | ||
| But then when I saw you just pouring a whole bunch in a paper cup, | ||
| I was like, every person we've offered the peppy to is like, can I get a glass with, you know, | ||
| And then I'm like we have the cups and they're like I need a glass With some whiskey stones or something. | ||
| I'm like, I can't give you a paper cup with the Pappy. | ||
| I mean, don't we have? | ||
| We don't have glass cups? | ||
| No paper cup Pappy over here, right? | ||
| Well, it is what it is. | ||
| Special shout out to Van Winkle, the very whiskey that we were talking about all night. | ||
| Pappy Van Winkle. | ||
| Oh, it's Pappy Van Winkle. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Well, that's what it's called. | ||
| It's called the Pappy, I guess. | ||
| All right, everybody. | ||
| Thanks for hanging out. | ||
| It's been fun. | ||
| And more to come, as always. | ||
| And thanks for being members. |