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|---|---|---|
| Welcome to our special weekend show, Sunday Uncensored. | ||
| Every week we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're going to bring you the most important for our weekend show. | ||
| If you want to check out more segments just like this, become a member at TimCast.com. | ||
|
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Now, enjoy the show. | |
| Mike Rowe once whacked off a turkey, Mike! | ||
| It happens. | ||
| It happens, you know. | ||
| That turkey still calls, Tim. | ||
| That's right, that's right. | ||
| I was asking, you know, when you go back to the farm, do the turkeys start lining up for you? | ||
| Like, he's here! | ||
| He's back! | ||
| And he brought his opposable thumbs! | ||
| So real quick, during the main show with Mike, the internet cut out, many of you may have noticed, and that was due to a distributed denial-of-service attack on us, which, I'll just put it simply, was... I want to keep security... I gotta be a little vague, but basically our backups didn't work because of the way the attack happened, and we have additional backups. | ||
| We were able to get the show back on the air. | ||
| So just for people who are wondering what happened, I think it's important to bring that up. | ||
| Should I be flattered? | ||
| Now we're getting hit by DDoS. 2022 is going to be fucking crazy. But yes, in all seriousness, | ||
| Mike, should I be flattered? Do you think this happened in any way because of my presence here? | ||
| Actually, a little bit. Yes. Yeah. I mean, look, you're so many people were commenting about how | ||
| you've inspired them to get trade jobs, to be personally responsible that that's. | ||
| That's dangerous to a lot of the collective mentality. | ||
| Not that you're like an overtly political guy, but you certainly inspire a lot of people to be individualist, to be responsible for themselves. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| And that's something I would never apologize for or tiptoe around. | ||
| I do think that's central to whatever good thing our country might become. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I think when people are... There's a fine balance between focusing on the self and focusing on the community. | ||
| And I think if you improve yourself, you know, we're only as strong as our weakest link. | ||
| So everybody should be trying their best to improve themselves, being a little bit selfish, but not in a way that's hurting other people, right? | ||
| It's sort of, you know, not to get all Ayn Randian, but I mean... Please do go on! | ||
|
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Take it away! | |
| Have I hit a button? | ||
| You just touched on the nerve. | ||
| I'm like, you got me! | ||
| Well, it's the altruism thing, right? | ||
| I mean, I did a show for Facebook for years called Returning the Favor, and I said, look, I don't want to celebrate Bloody do-gooders through the lens of kindness, period. | ||
| I want to look at people who do good, kind things for selfish reasons. | ||
| Those are the most interesting people that I've met. | ||
| And you can really see it on a plane. | ||
| Like, when you're on a plane, you're a part of a community, you're a team of sorts, you're all going to the same place, and you're all sitting in the same basic seat, and you're all there. | ||
| Now, if shit goes off the rails, and those masks drop, The instructions get very very clear and we all know what they are first thing you do you put it on yourself That's right, right and now that's not a selfish thing Because if if you're passed out, you're no good to anyone Right, so it's that it's that thing. | ||
| That's the kind of individual the individualistic thing that I'm talking about take find a way to provide for yourself and First. | ||
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Yeah. | |
| But you've got people who are saying, no, no, the government provides. | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| And you're kind of the opposite of that. | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| Well, that philosophy is utterly insane. | ||
| History tells a story of people depending on government who essentially become slaves of the government. | ||
| And I think the larger kind of ideology here is that if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. | ||
| So if we look in society, the most important people, the strongest people are the ones who are the ones that understand that they have a duty, that they need to do | ||
| stuff, and if they don't take care of themselves, everyone else is going to be | ||
| screwed in the community, and their families, and everywhere else. And I | ||
| think there's a deliberate effort to dump people down, make them weaker, | ||
| and make them more dependent on the state almost in every aspect of our | ||
| society. | ||
| Keep them as children. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So, to go back, we had... Or turkeys. | ||
| We had Marjorie Taylor Greene on, right? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And the next day, we get swatted. | ||
| Police show up. | ||
| For most people, the show is published at 10 p.m., if you don't watch it live, and that means the next day is the day that it's the full release, basically. | ||
| A lot of people might be in bed. | ||
| They wake up in the morning, and they see we hosted Marjorie Taylor Greene. | ||
| It's January 6th, no less. | ||
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Yeah. | |
| Coincidence? | ||
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unidentified
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No. | |
| She's getting hit with death threats. | ||
| I talked to her on the phone about this, and the same day we get hit with a, you know, a swatting incident. | ||
| I don't think you are the principal reason we got DDoS'd, but I certainly think people are like, you know, the people we host, the shows we have, and we had a lot more viewers this time around than we normally do, probably because you're a big name and you inspire a lot of people. | ||
| You're an individualist, and so they took our show off the air. | ||
| Well, I don't know what part they lost, or we lost, but I hope we didn't lose the part where we were talking about the importance of gauging your success, in part anyway, not by your acolytes, but by your enemies. | ||
| It was only a couple minutes. | ||
| Probably when we were talking about deep space, I think. | ||
| It seemed like you were distracted during that time. | ||
| When I was waving, and so it was only a few minutes. | ||
| But did you notice how unflappable I was when I went on with the story? | ||
| You guys are collectively crapping up the walls, and I'm just, you know, I'm just gonna stick with my story, whatever's happening here. | ||
| We keep the conversation going no matter what happens. | ||
| I don't know where you guys are going. | ||
| The full show's recorded. | ||
| We'll get it up on iTunes, Spotify, and all those platforms, so nothing to worry about. | ||
| But let's give the people what they really want. | ||
| They want to know about you biting the balls off of a goat. | ||
| I think it was a sheep. | ||
| Don't make it weird, dude. | ||
| And also, you were telling us a story before the show about how you masturbated a turkey. | ||
| Well, look, here's the thing. | ||
| When Dirty Jobs hit, we joked the first season was really a rumination on crap. | ||
| And I jokingly called it a love letter to feces. | ||
| Feces from every species. | ||
| Because no matter what the job was, I was always picking up Scat, dung, poop, shit, whatever you want to call it. | ||
| That was the defining thing. | ||
| In season two I was like, look, we've made our point. | ||
| There's so much more we can do with this show. | ||
| And the network was like, well, we really want you to Take it in a super smart direction. | ||
| So I said what about What about AI and they're like, oh my god, we would love that Are there dirty jobs in AI and I said, of course, they're dirty jobs in in AI now I left my boss's office pretty sure that she thought that she had just sent me out to do a show on artificial intelligence, but of course I was pitching artificial insemination And so three weeks later, I was coaxing the sperm out of a bull called Hunsucker Commando at a ranch somewhere in Texas. | ||
| Wait, you were coaxing it out? | ||
| That's the proper term. | ||
| Basically, I was... Weeding off a bull. | ||
| Well, yeah, you know, this is... I mean, look, this, just by way of... | ||
| Just so your listeners know, are they listeners or viewers at this point? | ||
| Both actually. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So just so y'all know, a bull is, well, collected, they call it, with the help of a probe and some electricity. | ||
| So essentially what happens is there's a It looks like a tackle box, like from Amsterdam, right? | ||
| You open this tackle box and inside is this giant tube of lube and a battery. | ||
| It's like a car battery and it has dials on it and there are a lot of electrodes and wires and things coming out of it. | ||
| And they're attached to what looks like a boom mic, bigger than this thing, like I mean like about this long. | ||
| And there's a battery on the back of it about the size of a deck of cards. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And all the wires come out of that. | ||
| So basically you take the lube and you... | ||
| This thing, it looks like the Hindenburg, right? | ||
| And you just lube it up and you walk behind the bull and you push it into his rectum all the way to the point where the tip of this thing comes in contact with his prostate. | ||
| And then you go back to the tackle box from Amsterdam and there are two knobs. | ||
| So this is a two-man operation. | ||
| And the bull's totally fine with it? | ||
| Well, I mean, the bull, he gives you a look. | ||
| It's like this. | ||
| And he's like, hey there, you know. | ||
| He's not in pain, but he does have the Hindenburg up his ass, right? | ||
| And so you go back to the tackle box, and the cowboy's there with me. | ||
| He's a short little guy with a giant hat. | ||
| He's like, you want to turn the knobs, or you want to hold the cup? | ||
| So I'm thinking... Which would be worse? | ||
| Well, which would be better, right? | ||
| TV, right? | ||
| It's like, you know, it's gonna be better to hold a cup. | ||
| So I basically take a styrofoam cup and I kneel behind, alongside the bull. | ||
| And basically wait for instructions. | ||
| I got a camera shooting underneath the bull toward me, and I'm on the other side of the bull. | ||
| And the cowboy, his name is Steve, he's like, Mike, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to turn the first knob. | ||
| And when I turn that knob, a small amount of electricity is going to go through that probe, and it's going to stimulate the prostate of Hunsucker Commando. | ||
| And when that happens, he is going to present himself to you, and it will be humbling. | ||
| And sure enough, he turns that knob, and whoom! | ||
| I mean, that bull is ready to go. | ||
| He's like, Mike, when I turn the second knob, that's going to send another bolt of electricity into that prostate, and that bull is going to express himself. | ||
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That's so nicely phrased. | |
| And I would be grateful if you would manipulate that cup in a most efficacious fashion because what's going to come out of the business end of that bowl is what I like to call white gold and I don't want you spilling any. | ||
| This is the weirdest TV ever, right? | ||
| And so my camera guy's laughing and I'm laughing, I'm like, you gotta be kidding. | ||
| So I got the cup, we'll just use this glass of whiskey, and I grab his joint, right, and I pull it over and I got it lined up and man, he turns that knob and it is Jimmy Crackcorn and I don't care. | ||
| It is just, I mean, Filled up the cup. | ||
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How long did it take? | |
| I'd say probably eight seconds. | ||
| Was he making noise? | ||
| The usual stuff. | ||
| Like, uh, how you doing champ? | ||
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It's not gonna suck itself. | |
| No, I mean, it was just being a bull. | ||
| And he had gone through this before. | ||
| And you didn't even have to buy him dinner. | ||
| Or he didn't have to buy you dinner. | ||
| Well, that's the sad thing. | ||
| Ultimately, he was dinner. | ||
| But so, that footage gets on the air. | ||
| And once that gets on the air, the network's horrified. | ||
| They pixelate the penis. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they don't pixelate the vulva and the vagina of all the other cows because I take all his sperm and I use it to artificially inseminate the cows. | ||
| So I had this big conversation about what to blur and what not to blur and you know we're gonna blur the we're gonna pixelate the penises but we're good with the vaginas it's just crazy conversations but we put it on the air and the ratings went bananas. | ||
| And so the whole second season became what I call the period of the pixelated penises. | ||
| Because everywhere I went, every barnyard, there was some animal. | ||
| I mean it was ostriches, it was skunks, it was anything that could be artificially inseminated. | ||
| I did it. | ||
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You're just hunting down animals. | |
| It was raiding and that was before dirty jobs had become like this broader love letter to skilled labor. | ||
| At that moment in time it was basically a German porno. | ||
| But it all kind of culminated for me at Oakdale Farms and this was I mean we had done horses where by the way you got to wear like a bicycle helmet you know because it's very I mean you're holding on to an artificial vagina like which is a like a hot water bottle with a baby bottle screwed into the end that collects and this animal comes into the you know to the breeding stall and there's a horse in heat and it jumps up on a pommel horse it's basically looking at the horse in heat | ||
| It's like watching Black Beauty. | ||
| It's like porn, right? | ||
| So the horse is fixated on the thing and you're holding the artificial vagina and you guide its member into the vagina and you hang on for dear life. | ||
| And this thing will lift you off your feet. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I'm sure you've all seen it. | ||
| Oh, I've seen some of that. | ||
| But Ian, the folks at home have not. | ||
| Okay, most people in the United States, they don't know where their food comes from. | ||
| And the idea that this is going on every day, with pigs, with horses, with cows, bulls, I mean, there is no food chain as we understand it without AI, without artificial insemination. | ||
| Which, by the way, goes all the way back to Charles Bakewell, 1700s. | ||
| I mean, this has been around for Fascinating discipline. | ||
| But it was the turkeys. | ||
| It was the turkeys that I really wasn't comfortable talking about for a very long time. | ||
| Because you think you see it all, but until you coax, and it is coaxing, until you coax the sperm out of a tom turkey, you really just don't... I don't think you've experienced the world in all of its wonder. | ||
| Well, very few can say they have. | ||
| This is what farmers do all the time. | ||
| This is the big difference between what CNN does with Raza Aslan and what you're doing. | ||
| When you're on a farm, I was on a pig farm two years ago. | ||
| with my friends. | ||
| You learn so much. | ||
| And it isn't pretty. | ||
| It doesn't smell nice. | ||
| But when it comes to having to live on that farm, there's a lot of duties that people don't see that are very eye-opening. | ||
| What I love about chickens is that they're smart enough not to drink water with shit in it, but they're not smart enough not to shit in the water. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But it's not even enticing, isn't it? | ||
| But they don't have control of their... Chloaca? | ||
| Asshole. | ||
| Let's just say asshole. | ||
| They don't have control over their asshole, so when they walk, it makes their asshole shit without them knowing it. | ||
| They jump on the water with their asses hanging over the water and shit in it. | ||
| They don't need to do that. | ||
| Pigs do the same thing. | ||
| But from what I've heard explained to me by some farmers is that, specifically chickens, they don't have control of the asshole and that's why it just comes out without them controlling it. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| They don't, I mean, it's not that they completely lack control. | ||
| My theory is they just don't give a shit. | ||
| We're chickens. | ||
| We're not here for a long time. | ||
| We're not going to waste what time we have looking for the proper place to download. | ||
| It is, it is. | ||
| I gotta tell you, amazingly cute when we hatched the baby chicks and they're babies and then one of them shits and then turns around and looks at it and then nips it and then spazzes like That was a mistake! | ||
| I'll never do it again. | ||
| Have you done chick-sexing here? | ||
| Have you done any of that? | ||
| Well, none of us have these skills, but I think we didn't sex the chicks, but we did have Blackstar chicks, which is Rhode Island, and you're familiar with those? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| So they were sex-linked. | ||
| For those unfamiliar, that means when they were born, you could easily just see who were the boys and who were the girls. | ||
| The three, uh, we call them the poo babies. | ||
| They were the first ones we had because they were babies and they were shitting all over the place. | ||
| Uh, we could easily tell one was a girl, one was a boy, and then the firstborn we weren't sure of until like six, seven weeks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're like, okay, it's a girl. | ||
| Well, of the 300 some odd species of chickens out there that are popular in this country, most of them can't be sexed or determined visually. | ||
| Some of it's a, they call it a wing differential, and that's nice, but mostly you have to peer inside of their assholes. | ||
| And if you can see that tiny, tiny, tiny little bump, then that's a cockerel. | ||
| And he goes in the box over here. | ||
| Dude, this is the thing. | ||
| This is one of those stories I didn't tell on Dirty Jobs, but we shot at a place called | ||
| Murray McMurray. | ||
| It's a hatchery. | ||
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unidentified
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Oh yeah, we ordered from them. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they're great. | ||
| They do great work. | ||
| They separate hundreds of thousands of boys from the girls every week. | ||
| And they put them in the mail. | ||
| They ship. | ||
| Chip chicks through the mail, right? | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| What's not so amazing is that there's really no use for the cockerels. | ||
| I mean, you keep a couple, I guess, for roosters, but by and large, they all go through a giant meat grinder. | ||
| To get just a little bit Alex Jones, just for a second there. | ||
| There's also a lot of animals being genetically modified in a way where their genotypes are altered. | ||
| Have you experienced any of that or have any kind of strong opinions on that? | ||
| Because there's also a train of thought showing how a lot of the animals are not the same animals as they were before. | ||
| And there are new breeds of animals that are being made because of factory farming. | ||
| Look, I'm a big, you'll hear me talk a lot about unintended consequences, and I do not know what the unintended consequences of that are going to be, but they're going to be something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So we had Alex Jones on the show, and he told us that all the beef we're eating is cloned meat. | ||
| And I said, bullshit! | ||
| Alex, you're crazy! | ||
| Looked it up, in fact, in the past 15 years. | ||
| A lot of cloning. | ||
| A lot of cloning. | ||
| I guess, I don't know why, it's easier, or what? | ||
| Well, when we talk about the, like the turkeys, for instance, that whole AI program came into existence because we were feeding them grain with so much steroid in it that their chest just puffed up and they couldn't get close enough to mate. | ||
| And so, you know, you're growing these things for meat, obviously, and that's a good thing. | ||
| But no, the AI program at Oakdale Farms was just, I mean, You walk into a barn, and there are 500 of these things, and they're like an audience. | ||
| Like, if you look at the turkeys and go, how's it going? | ||
| They'll all go, lalalala, at the same time. | ||
| So we immediately established this strange, you know, rapport. | ||
| And then the guys bring them to you, you know, and you sit there, and they put them between your legs upside down, and you squeeze your thighs together, and now you've got an upside down turkey between your thighs, and you're looking at its butthole, which is, as you said earlier, it's a cloaca, and it's just a fancy term for the hole in the bird where both the sex organs reside as well as the digestive tract. | ||
|
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Terrible design flaw, I think. | |
| It's like running a sewer through a playground, right? | ||
| I mean, it's a horrible, horrible mistake. | ||
| But there it is. | ||
| And so, a guy hands me a baby food jar. | ||
| And I know this because it said Gerber on the side. | ||
| The fat little Gerber baby is on the side of an empty jar. | ||
| And the jar has a lid on it. | ||
| And there are two holes in the lid. | ||
| And there's a straw in each hole. | ||
| And you got the turkey between your legs and you give it a squeeze so you don't want to drop it on its head and You know you ask the guys a question and all the other turkeys hear you and they answer So it's super weird right super impossibly weird soundtrack going on as a guy you've never met says I need you to rub its rectum until it ejaculates And so, you know, I know what all those words mean. | ||
| And my cameramen are, like, around me. | ||
| Nobody knows what to do. | ||
| I mean, we're just... The job you asked for. | ||
| It's just, like, we asked for it. | ||
| And we had done the whole routine with Hunsucker Commando, so we'd seen some crazy stuff already. | ||
| I mean, how weird can it be? | ||
| But the deal is, you rub the sphincter, the butthole, whatever you want to call it, and you're not really sure what you're touching, but if you do it right, the thing will ejaculate. | ||
| And when it ejaculates, it will fill the butthole with this thick, creamy spunk. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And now, remember you got this baby jar in your right hand with two straws in it. | ||
| So what you do is, you've got to keep your thighs, right? | ||
| Because now you've got an upside down turkey with a rectum full of jizz. | ||
| And so you've got to get the jizz into the bottle. | ||
|
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Hey, it's Kimberly Fletcher here from Moms4America with some very exciting news. | |
| Tucker Carlson is going on a nationwide tour this fall. | ||
| And Moms4America has the exclusive VIP meet and greet experience for you. | ||
| Before each show, you can have the opportunity to meet Tucker Carlson in person. | ||
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| Not only will you be supporting Moms for America in our mission to empower moms, promote liberty, and raise patriots, your tax-deductible donation secures you a full VIP experience with priority entrance and check-in, premium gold seating in the first five rows, access to a pre-show cocktail reception, an individual meet-and-greet, and photo with America's most famous conservative and our friend, Tucker Carlson. | ||
| Visit momsforamerica.us today for more information and to secure your exclusive VIP meet and greet tickets. | ||
| See you on the tour. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| Look, there are a lot of shows out there that are explaining the political news cycle, what's happening on the Hill, the this, the that. | ||
| There are no other shows that are cutting straight to the point when it comes to the unprecedented lawfare, debilitating and affecting the 2024 presidential election. | ||
| We do all of that every single day right here on America on Trial with Josh Hammer. | ||
| Subscribe and download your episodes wherever you get your podcasts. | ||
| America on Trial with Josh Hammer. | ||
| And so you put one straw in your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
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No! | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh my god. | |
| I was afraid of that. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And then you put the other straw into the puddle of Spoogealootie and then you start sucking. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| And the sucking creates Creates a vacuum of sorts in the jar, and that allows the semen to be removed from the anus. | ||
| That's like pulling gasoline out of a hose, right? | ||
| Well, it's like that, Ian. | ||
| If the gas were sperm, and if the hose were a straw. | ||
| But yes, it's exactly like that. | ||
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unidentified
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It's exactly like that. | |
| And what do they do? | ||
| Do they inject it into the ass of the females? | ||
| Well, ultimately, but what you need to do in the interest of efficiencies is fill that bottle. | ||
| So you basically sit there with the bottle in your right hand, sucking the sperm out of the rectums of turkeys as the bottle slowly fills and the men you're working with bring you a new bird. | ||
| Inverted between your legs, close your thighs, rub, rub, rub, and then you get a puddle of stuff. | ||
| I gotta say real quick, I kind of feel like there's a very simple motorized mechanism that you could attach to the straw to press a button and have it suck instead of put it in your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what I mean? | |
| I could build it for you, to be honest. | ||
| It'd cost me 50 cents. | ||
| Well, you know, day late, dollar short. | ||
| I'm not sure it would make for better TV, but that absolutely would be a, you know, a consummation devoutly to be wished. | ||
| Did you find that because of the build of the object, you weren't sucking sperm into your mouth? | ||
| Correct. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay, so you just produce a vacuum in the canister, which would then pull... Unless, of course, you want to keep sucking. | |
| In which case, you have a very different kind of show, on a very different kind of network, and I have a very different sort of career. | ||
| Well, there's that. | ||
| So that happened. | ||
| I don't even know what kind of show that would be if people were like... I don't think there's porn of people eating turkey jizz, you know what I mean? | ||
| After tonight, though, get ready for some shit. | ||
| People are going to be like, yeah, what else were we talking about earlier? | ||
| Sticking the thing in the bull's ass? | ||
| With the electrodes, dude? | ||
| If you can electrode your prostate? | ||
| This is why I think Fear Factor got cancelled, because they... | ||
| They were making people eat nasty things and the last one they did was, was it ball semen? | ||
| I think it was horse jizz. | ||
| And some guy just chugged it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, I think it was horse jizz. | |
| Rogan says that he expresses some concern about what he did and he feels bad about it. | ||
| I like that he says that in public. | ||
| People would do fucked up shit for money, man, when they're desperate. | ||
| What do you guys normally talk about here on the members? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, politics. | |
| Psychedelics. | ||
| Politics. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Graphene and DMT are every other word that Ian says. | ||
| Societal collapse. | ||
| Civil war. | ||
| Free software. | ||
| You reckon one's coming back? | ||
| Or is it the national divorce? | ||
| What are they calling it now? | ||
| That's the same thing. | ||
| But I guess, you know, national divorce is what people are hoping for, that things kind of just fall apart and we separate. | ||
| But I've been talking about Civil War for some time. | ||
| We actually didn't get into it in the main segment, but there was a guy who went to Florida to a Trump rally, to a January 6th rally for some guy who was in prison, brought a pipe bomb with him full of nails. | ||
| Yeah, what happened to him? | ||
| He got arrested. | ||
| We're so he's still arrested. | ||
| Yeah, he's in jail. | ||
| He's in jail. | ||
| And so, you know a couple years ago I just I was noticing all the political escalations and we had this Princeton professor say we're in a cold civil war. | ||
| Then you get the hundred plus days of writing over in 2020. | ||
| Then you get, obviously, the 2020 election, the contention around that. | ||
| Then you get January 6th. | ||
| Now you've got The Guardian, The Atlantic, The New York Times. | ||
| They're all writing articles saying either we're in a civil war or a civil war is coming or it's here. | ||
| I mean, look, we got DDoS attacked. | ||
| Our show got taken off the air for a few minutes. | ||
| We got swatted. | ||
| This is getting to the point where people aren't just saying, I disagree with your show. | ||
| They're literally saying, we're going to use force to try and take you down or kill you even. | ||
| But I mean, swatting is attempted murder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| They tried to have those cops come in here from different agencies, which would create confusion. | ||
| That's what people don't understand. | ||
| Swatting, they'll call the cops and say, hey, something happened. | ||
| Then those cops show up with SWAT uniforms. | ||
| These people called three different departments, meaning they're all going to show up confused because who are you? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Why are you here? | ||
| Who called you? | ||
| Being told that a guy just killed people and he's gonna kill himself. | ||
| Fortunately, our guys outside, you know, we're standing there and talk to the cops and the cops de-escalated everything. | ||
| But yeah, I think we're... It's a dramatic segue from Wacken of Turkey to the apocalypse. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Or is it just one more delightful metaphor for the times we find ourselves living in? | ||
| Well, we're in very interesting times. | ||
| I think the ship is sinking. | ||
| And even if you don't consume a lot of politics or are into this stuff, historically, between the Black Plague and the Spanish Flu, there was 57 other related pandemic kind of events, global sickness kind of events. | ||
| Only four out of those 57 occasions did not result in a revolt or a large-scale protest. | ||
| Let's call that Rutkowski's trap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if that's Rutkowski's trap, but... So, did you figure out that number? | |
| Newsweek did a very good article about this, talking about the likelihood of more civil conflict. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, so this is actually what Luke was reading when the cops popped open the door. | |
| So, even if it's not between the conservatives and the liberals, I think the prospects of a civil war, especially with our financial circumstances, especially with our cultural, political circumstances, especially with the pandemic, I think the likelihood of that happening is very high. | ||
| But are you talking about a hot war? | ||
| You're talking about North and South or East and West? | ||
| People get it when we look at revolts. | ||
| And again, people always have this notion that the Civil War is going to be like the American Civil War. | ||
| There's been many other civil wars throughout human history that have been between urban areas, civil areas, different political ideologies, different landscapes, different, you know, religions. | ||
| So there's many ways that this is play out. | ||
| I wish I had a magic eight ball. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But how are you seeing things? | ||
| Do you think there'll be a civil war? | ||
| Well, I mean, there certainly has been, which means, obviously, there could be another one. | ||
| And even if there hadn't been, it doesn't mean there can't be a first one. | ||
| So I wouldn't rule it out. | ||
| But I don't think, I mean, as I understand the old Civil War, it was such a product of geography. | ||
| You know, it was such a North and South thing. | ||
| In fact, Texas said the principal reason for joining the South was geography. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so, I don't know what a national civil war looks like in Cleveland, Austin, Phoenix, Baltimore, Seattle, because... Well, so... Right? | ||
| I mean, how to... Well, so that's... There's no front line. | ||
| I think that's an American bias. | ||
| If you look at the Spanish Civil War, it was urban versus rural. | ||
| The cities were, you know, one way, the rural areas were another, and then the rural areas took over and the country became fascist for, you know, 70 years or whatever. | ||
| So right now, I think with the vaccine mandates and the mask mandates and the lockdowns, we're seeing a mass exodus from New York, California, and Illinois into different states, namely Texas and Florida. | ||
| So we've had ideological polarization for the past decade, and now it's becoming geographical polarization. | ||
| Bill Maher said he didn't think a civil war could happen because the Mason-Dixon line would go through Nana's Kitchen, implying that, you know, you fight with your grandmother and that's the cultural differences. | ||
| But now we're actually seeing Florida, Saying outright to Joe Biden, we're not going to abide by your request for mandates. | ||
| California saying we won't follow federal laws per immigration. | ||
| New York just voted to allow non-citizens to vote. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
800,000. | |
| In New York City. | ||
| So I don't know how, you know, in the last election, Texas filed a legal challenge under original jurisdiction with the Supreme Court. | ||
| 48 states were involved in a lawsuit over the election. | ||
| And it was dismissed for statutory reasons, I believe, not merit. | ||
| By the way, this morning Newsom just okayed health care benefits. | ||
| For non-citizens. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| So what ends up happening, in my opinion, we saw in 2020, John Podesta said if Donald Trump wins, the West Coast should secede from the Union. | ||
| He wanted to encourage them to do that. | ||
| We're looking at a Republican red wave. | ||
| I mean, things are so intense that one of the stories we actually didn't get to is that a North Carolina group is trying to disqualify Madison Cawthorn from being able to be a member of Congress. | ||
| They're trying to get rid of Marjorie Taylor Greene, they want to get rid of Matt Gaetz, and they're trying to disqualify Trump. | ||
| They can't win an electoral race, so they're going for legal disqualifications. | ||
| Of course, red states won't stand for that. | ||
| Blue states won't stand for that. | ||
| It seems like the only outcome is going to be blue states declaring sovereignty and red states doing it. | ||
| States have already declared sovereignty in the past to assert their rights under the Constitution. | ||
| But eventually, when you have a bunch of states saying, we're Second Amendment sanctuaries, we won't abide by federal law, you get blue states saying, we're immigration sanctuaries, we won't abide by federal law. | ||
| So I can understand what might happen if things really crapped the bed that badly. | ||
| whether or not people are going to shoot each other. It's an issue of can the | ||
| federal government withstand a lack of confidence from every state. So I can | ||
| understand what might happen if things really crap the bed that badly. There | ||
| there would be real unrest. Whether or not the country divides into anything | ||
| that resembles a historical civil war. | ||
| I can't envision it. | ||
| Let me ask you, what about we had 120 days of mass rioting in every major city, even small towns, where left-wing extremists were firebombing buildings, smashing out windows. | ||
| That's what civil war looks like. | ||
| Right, but the overwhelming majority of the country wasn't affected. | ||
| That's not true, actually. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, Michael Tracy went around and what happens is the media doesn't show you what's happening in like, what was it, Rome, Illinois? | ||
| Yeah, really small towns. | ||
| These small towns, their windows were all smashed out. | ||
| People were putting up signs saying, please spare our store. | ||
| So Michael Tracy's a journalist and he actually drove Uh, through America and went to all these small places you never heard of and left-wing extremists went around just smashing up and damaging basically everything across the board. | ||
| Well, look, this is, like what I said before, the stuff that's out of my lane is out of my lane. | ||
| No, for sure. | ||
| But here's what I'm sure of. | ||
| You can go to a site that has compiled lots of evidence of police acting badly, and you can look at clip after clip after clip, and if you spend a few hours doing it, a reasonable person would conclude that we've got ourselves a major systemic problem. | ||
| But even that, even looking at a few hours of that, you're still talking about a tiny fraction of a percent. | ||
| You know, there's a whole elephant that you haven't touched, right? | ||
| Now, I don't know what the proportionality is, but I get it. | ||
| You know, I think it probably is further reaching than a lot of people realize, but I still don't know on a percentage basis what you're really talking about. | ||
| I think you're absolutely right about the police thing and we bring that up a lot. | ||
| You get someone who's 10 years old in 2010 and they're being inundated with clickbait police brutality videos. | ||
| Now they're 20 believing cops are going around hunting down black people, which isn't true. | ||
| So that could be a bias in our capacity because we're very tuned into this stuff. | ||
| But when I look at the crisis over the past two years, the response to it, the anger. | ||
| You had a guy shot and killed in Portland, Aaron Danielson. | ||
| A Black Lives Matter guy, tattoo on his neck, walked up to him in the middle of the street for no reason, put two bullets in his chest. | ||
| You've got, you know, you had January 6th, right? | ||
| You actually had people breaking into the Capitol. | ||
| Not everybody broke in. | ||
| Some were let in. | ||
| And they actually stopped the joint session of Congress to elect the president. | ||
| As soon as I saw that, I was just like, it's not an issue of whether or not the majority of the country is affected. | ||
| It's an issue of whether the highest levels of our country are affected. | ||
| So, you know, in 2018, I was telling people I thought we were on track for a civil war because people were fighting in the streets. | ||
| And this is indicative of, you know, what we've seen in past civil wars and past revolutions, Nazi Germany and Spanish Civil War. | ||
| And I was told that was crazy. | ||
| What I was saying in 2018 is, once the culture war reaches the highest levels of government, the system will fracture. | ||
| And then you'll have this moment where it could happen in 2022, it could happen with Marjorie Taylor Greene. | ||
| Look at it this way. | ||
| The Democrats right now in the media are claiming that she helped the January 6th rioters. | ||
| They're trying to disqualify Madison Cawthorn saying that he was at the January 6th rally. | ||
| Well, there's a difference between the rally with Donald Trump and the actual storming of the Capitol, but they don't differentiate. | ||
| What happens when someone who has got subpoena power says to someone in the DOJ, arrest Madison Cawthorn? | ||
| They can either say yes or no. | ||
| And if they say, I have the power to issue a criminal complaint, which they've already done against Steve Bannon and other members of the previous administration. | ||
| I mean, let me just put it this way. | ||
| They've issued criminal subpoenas, criminal complaints against former members of the previous administration. | ||
| You got Mark Meadows, the former chief of staff, is now facing a criminal warrant for refusing to comply with members of Congress and what they're investigating. | ||
| If this continues, and I don't see any reason why it would stop, it results in them trying to arrest a previous president, which they've already tried to do through New York. | ||
| So the big question arises, this is what Matt Taibbi said. | ||
| Are you familiar with Matt Taibbi? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know him, yeah. | |
| He said last year, I think it was two years ago, you get to the point where... Interesting turn, by the way, his career. | ||
| But he's always been calling out the bullshit. | ||
| He said you get to a point where Two different, two cars are speeding at full speed towards, you know, the White House. | ||
| And then two different agencies jump out of the car and they both yell, arrest that man. | ||
| And then, you know, at each other. | ||
| And then who are the police going to arrest? | ||
| It ultimately comes down to who in law enforcement, who they're going to believe. | ||
| It could be the corporate press and the establishment, or maybe they're Joe Rogan listeners. | ||
| And they're like, no, you guys are fucking lunatics. | ||
| There's no coup without the generals, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So this is what I suppose I'm worried about right now is the way they're framing January 6th and trying to disqualify politicians. | ||
| What happens when the DOJ says, we're going to arrest Marjorie Taylor Greene because she aided January 6th rioters the day before by giving them a tour? | ||
| I don't know if she actually did, but they say this. | ||
| Then you're going to have one cop who's a fan of hers and says it's bullshit. | ||
| One cop who says it isn't. | ||
| Are those cops going to fight each other? | ||
| Then the system just snaps. | ||
| Who needs their job more? | ||
| Yup. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Here's what worries me. | ||
| I don't know, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, look, I don't think any of us know, but I think I see a difference between the notion of a civil war and the, wrong word, but solution of a national divorce. | ||
| I've been hearing a lot of people talk about that. | ||
| And I didn't hear the interview, but is Marjorie, does she favor that? | ||
| No, they actually lied. | ||
| The media lies, of course. | ||
| She had tweeted, in a national divorce scenario, you know, X, Y, and Z would happen. | ||
| And then they said, Marjorie Taylor Greene calls for a national divorce. | ||
| She was terrified about it when she was talking about it. | ||
| Like, she has three kids. | ||
| She's like, they would be the ones that would be sent to die. | ||
| Like, it's not... Yeah. | ||
| She was here and she was like, I don't want that to happen. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| China takes over. | ||
| My kids are fighting and dying. | ||
| But is there a distinction between a civil war and a national divorce? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think that it would inevitably cause the feds to crack down. | ||
| I agree with Ian, but there is a distinction. | ||
| I think there is too, but I mean if you just take the divorce word at face value. | ||
| Okay, mom goes this way, dad goes that way. | ||
| What do we do with the kids? | ||
| That's called custody and we'll share it and we'll figure it out. | ||
| So who are the kids in a national divorce? | ||
| I would submit the kids are thermonuclear warheads. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| Now who gets them? | ||
| Is it the states where they currently reside? | ||
| What kind of state? | ||
| There will be a war. | ||
| A war, whatever that is, whatever it looks like, feels like, or sounds like, the idea that the country could amicably say, okay, look, we're red, we're going here, or we're not going anywhere, we're just going to stay here. | ||
| We're going to be red, you're going to be blue, and so forth and so on, and then all of a sudden, there are no nukes in the blue states? | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| It can't possibly be a thing. | ||
| This is what started the Civil War the first time. | ||
| Seven states had seceded from the Union legally and were done with it. | ||
| It was over. | ||
| Then the Fort Sumter happened and it became a civil war. | ||
| Post offices, like government agents that are stuck in states that aren't involved with the revolution. | ||
| So Abraham Lincoln's election was contentious. | ||
| Seven states said, we don't want to be party to this, and we're leaving. | ||
| And then when the South went to, South Carolina said to Fort Sumter, evacuate and leave, you're no longer welcome here. | ||
| They said, no, we built this, we paid for it, it's ours and we're not leaving. | ||
| No one believed they would fight. | ||
| This is the craziest thing. | ||
| Back then, people said on the hillside, Thinking it was all a big show and a big farce and nothing could happen. | ||
| And then they started shooting cannons at each other. | ||
| And people were picnicking watching people get slaughtered and their heads blown off. | ||
| And I think about that story and here we are today with people saying it can't happen. | ||
| And we actually just had on January 6, what is it, a thousand people entering the Capitol? | ||
| A good portion fighting with police, breaking through the barriers. | ||
| A good portion being let in by the police. | ||
| So what's the corollary in your view? | ||
| Slavery, obviously, was a thing in 1860. | ||
| Collectivism versus individualism is a large component, but it's tribal. | ||
| Have you ever been to Belfast? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Have you seen the peace wall? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Makes no sense, does it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like there's Israel on one side and Palestine on the other. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No joke. | |
| There's signs saying pro-Israel. | ||
| For no reason do these people have to be on the side of the Israeli conflict. | ||
| Or abortion, even. | ||
| I remember seeing the abortion thing on the walls there, too, and being like, wait, what? | ||
| That's where I was going. | ||
| I'm looking for a corollary beyond the... Abortion. | ||
| Well, beyond the collectivism versus the state rights. | ||
| So slavery was a thing. | ||
| It wasn't really the thing, but it was a big thing, and the country was arguing not over Not over whether slavery was good or bad. | ||
| They were arguing, as I understand it, over whether a slave was a human or a piece of property. | ||
| And today— And it was the North, actually, that argued it was property, and the South argued it was a person. | ||
| The triangle trade. | ||
| Molasses to rum to slaves. | ||
| Yeah, that's all convoluted, but my point is there was a confusion about and around the issue of slavery that had to do with the fundamental definition of property versus personhood. | ||
| Well, that exists today. | ||
| That confusion exists today. | ||
| Somebody asked me in an interview the other day, you know, where are you on abortion? | ||
| I'm like, jeez, of the many things I don't talk about, there's one! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you! | |
| Thank you for that one! | ||
| Can we talk about the turkeys, please? | ||
| But no, I said, look, I mean, that would depend entirely on whether or not you believe a fetus is a human being or a piece of property. | ||
| You know, if it's a human being, well, I'm opposed to, you know, a process that ends the life of a human. | ||
| And if it's a piece of property, well, no, I'm not. | ||
| But can we settle that? | ||
| And of course the answer is no, we cannot. | ||
| So, in this world, and by the way, the arguments for both of those things really lined up in an interesting way. | ||
| You can take almost any big abortion controversial argument today and cross out Cross out abortion and write in slavery and imagine having that same exact conversation in 1861. | ||
| I actually proposed this in a recent episode that abortion would be the catalyst for the second civil war. | ||
| I'll tell you how it happens. | ||
| They've already said, numerous left-wing publications, that the Supreme Court, after hearing oral arguments on the Mississippi abortion ban, will overturn Roe v. Wade in June, assuming that happens. | ||
| Twelve states have what's called trigger laws, which instantly ban abortion. | ||
| Twelve states. | ||
| And there are several more that are preparing legislation to that effect. | ||
| That means in November, if there's a Republican sweep, Regardless of what Republicans say about states' rights, they say, oh, abortion should be up to the states, right? | ||
| I'd be willing to bet that if Republicans do win, you will immediately hear about a bill proposed for a federal abortion ban because they control the Senate and the House. | ||
| Joe Biden will veto this. | ||
| 2024 comes around and you get a Donald Trump or a Ron DeSantis and they say the first thing I'm going to do when I'm elected is I'm going to sign the federal abortion ban. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because more people support pro-life than, you know, pro-choice and we're going to win for reasons unrelated to abortion economics. | ||
| People are not going to support whatever random garbage Democrat they put forward because they got no charisma. | ||
| DeSantis is a rising star and Donald Trump is still incredibly popular. | ||
| President gets in, signs the abortion ban. | ||
| Federally, abortion is now outlawed. | ||
| California says, we will not obey. | ||
| We have abortion clinics. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Do you think there are 10 people in this country that would arm themselves and drive into California to forcefully shut down an abortion clinic? | ||
| 10 people. | ||
| I don't know, but I'll tell you. | ||
| It's interesting you made that basic argument. | ||
| I've been having the same sort of conversation over beer and whiskey for years, | ||
| but only to make the point that it was such a confusing thing back in the day | ||
| that the Supreme Court ultimately got so on the head of a pin, | ||
| we were taught, what was it, 3 fifths, right? The 3 fifths law. | ||
| It's like, okay, look, we can't decide human or property, property or human, | ||
| let's just call it a compromise. Well so do you know where that came from? | ||
| The South argued that their slaves should have a right to vote as individuals. | ||
| And the North said, no, if you treat them as property, they can't vote. | ||
| So interestingly, people don't realize this. | ||
| It wasn't the South that said they were property. | ||
| They did, but they wanted to have the right to vote. | ||
| So the North said, fine, three fifths. | ||
| That was their compromise. | ||
| Well, and think of the conversations around trimesters. | ||
| Think of the conversations about, okay, well, you know, we don't want any trouble, but let's decide now. | ||
| Let's draw the line somewhere. | ||
| First, second, third. | ||
| Full term? | ||
| A year after birth? | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Obviously, there's no upside for me going much further than to say that if you can't determine, like really collectively determine, what it is we're talking about, what the subject is, if you can't figure out the difference between property and personhood and agree collectively, then yeah, you're going to have a problem sooner or later. | ||
| You're gonna have a problem. | ||
| So let me ask you, if a baby was born and the doctor took that baby into another room and then said in front of you, I am now going to kill this baby, would you stop that doctor? | ||
| Well, am I the father of this baby? | ||
| No. | ||
| Just you as a normal, regular dude in a hospital? | ||
| Yeah, I try to stop him. | ||
| Governor Northam, are you familiar with this quote? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's a Virginia guy, right? | ||
| He's a Virginia governor, he's on his way out. | ||
| There was a woman, I think her name was, what was her name, Tran? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, some, yeah. | |
| She was proposing an abortion legislation that would allow abortion up to the point of birth. | ||
| So a judge actually asked her, so if the woman is dilating and the baby is breaching, you could abort the baby. | ||
| And she says, the law makes no distinction. | ||
| The abortion up until the point of birth, you know, that point. | ||
| In a radio interview, Governor Northam said, well, the baby would be delivered, made comfortable, then we would decide on what to do with it. | ||
| Now of course the mainstream media says it never happened, he never said it, he was speaking about something else. | ||
| Northam said he meant if it was a gross deformity or the baby couldn't survive. | ||
| But therein lies the next question is if there was a deformed baby and the doctor said me and the mother have decided, me and the mother, we're going to end this baby's life, would you intervene to save that baby? | ||
| And I think most people would say yes. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or, you know, just to keep the conversation lively, somebody might say, how deformed? | ||
| Is it blonde? | ||
| Blonde-headed and we wanted a brunette? | ||
| Is it cross-eyed? | ||
| Is it heart outside of its chest? | ||
| Can it only live for a month? | ||
| But also, why is Jackie Brown over there getting involved in my personal business with my doctor? | ||
| I don't want someone stopping that, if it's my choice. | ||
| Stopping what? | ||
| An abortion. | ||
| We're talking about a baby that's already been born. | ||
| Well, that's a different story. | ||
| That's fucked beyond measure. | ||
| But even abortion up to the point of birth, I mean, it's just getting to the point where it doesn't matter what side you're on, it's getting to the point where... We're going to have to settle on terms. | ||
| And part of the reason I think the country went to war Once upon a time was that we couldn't. | ||
| Look, we didn't talk about this in the main show and I kind of wish we would have because the rhetoric and the language that surrounds everything, especially the COVID stuff, but also this stuff, you know, it's the first to go and it's the front line of the real heated conversations. | ||
| It's the thing that leads to unfriending, right? | ||
| And this whole notion of taking the language and redefining key terms right in front of us, I mean, like in real time, it's pretty amazing that Miriam, I think, I think I confirmed this, I don't know, but Miriam Webster, a couple weeks ago, Officially redefined anti-vaxxer to include those who oppose mandates. | ||
| That was in 2018. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In 2018 they changed the definition. | ||
| No, no, there were no mandates in 2018. | ||
| Isn't that fucking weird? | ||
| There were no mandates for vaccines in 2018 to the extent we have them now. | ||
| But I suppose they could say they were talking about schools or something. | ||
| Sure, there was no terrorists to bomb that were American citizens after the Patriot Act got signed. | ||
| They waited 18 years on that. | ||
| It's all a big fucking long game of suppression and assassination. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| We're going a little long, but I'll wrap up with one final thought. | ||
| There's something called Thucydides Trap I often talk about. | ||
| Have you ever heard of it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Whenever a growing economic power is about to supplant the dominant power, war breaks out. | ||
| Or I should say, typically, out of, I think, 16 historical stories, historical references, there's 12 moments of Thucydides' Trap happening. | ||
| Great wars break out using the most powerful weapons of the day. | ||
| Many people believe that we're headed towards that with China. | ||
| So I referenced Luke's statement I called Rikowsky's Trap, that in what, you said 57 pandemics? | ||
| I have it written down here. | ||
| There were only six where there was not civil unrest or civil upheaval? | ||
| Yes, this is according to the Bach New University, and they had two professors that came out. | ||
| Fifty-seven of the global sicknesses and pandemics between the Black Death and the Spanish Flu between the 1300s and 1918, only four of them did not result in some kind of revolt or large-scale protest. | ||
| Sounds like it's feasible, but maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Well, you're coupling it with economic depravity. | ||
| We're on the road to the US dollar going to zero right now. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Well, as I recall, 80% of the country believes we're in a state of some sort of decay. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Well, I don't know what's going to happen, and sorry for taking everybody from a funny story about whacking off a bull to the apocalypse, but Mike, it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the show. | ||
| Listen man, I don't think the leap is as colossal as you suggest. | ||
| And look, if there's a way to stay sane in this endless shitshow, I hope there's something to be learned from the impossible weirdness of coaxing the sperm. | ||
| From a turkey and getting it in a jar. | ||
| And feeding America, you know? | ||
| The things that go on in barns behind closed doors might not be so different than the sausage getting made behind the closed doors of the Capitol. | ||
| There's something for you, Ian, to ruminate on. | ||
| I'm ruminating. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Ruminate hard. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta know how to impregnate turkeys if you want to survive the apocalypse. | ||
| The trick is the thumb. | ||
| It's all about the thumb and the first straw. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Well, Mike, thanks for hanging out. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Anything else you wanted to add before we sign off? | ||
| Dude, I gotta be honest, man. | ||
| I grew up in Baltimore, so to drive down 70 and to come back to this part of the world and to sit in this weirdly lit room again with the swords and the guitars and the books and the guns, I've had a very strange time and I appreciate the Pappy Van Winkle as well. | ||
| He's very civilized. | ||
| Absolutely, man. |