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April 30, 2021 - Timcast IRL - Tim Pool
02:18:53
Timcast IRL - Society Is FAILING Men And Boys, Population Growth FALLING w/Melanie Notkin
Participants
Main voices
i
ian crossland
08:12
m
melanie notkin
59:42
t
tim pool
01:05:35
Appearances
l
lydia smith
01:43
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
unidentified
you you
tim pool
you for the first time California is losing a congressional
seat New York, by 89 people, is losing a congressional seat.
And we did cover this before.
But it brings up another problem that we're facing in this country.
And I guess, interestingly, depending on who you ask, I'll tell you it's a problem.
And probably a bunch of people on the left would say it's probably not a problem.
And we're talking about stagnant population.
There's... Millennials aren't really having kids.
There's...
For whatever reason.
And there's also lower immigration.
And this is resulting in now a dramatic shift in how they're setting up congressional seats.
But I'm not going to talk about Congress today.
We're going to just talk a whole lot about families, men, women, millennials, the workforce.
It's kind of a chill Friday night talking about some of the most serious problems that are affecting this country.
And we actually have someone who's probably an expert on all this.
I'm just going to let you introduce yourself so you can explain it.
melanie notkin
All right, well I'm Melanie Notkin and I'm the founder of Savvy Auntie.
It's the celebration of modern aunthood, a media company focused on women who don't have children of their own by choice, like me, by circumstance, by challenge, and love the children in their life.
I'm also the author of a book by the same name and of a reported memoir called Otherhood.
Which is about the women, Gen X, older millennials, daughters of feminism, who expected that we'd have the husband and the kids that our moms had, but also have the education and careers.
And yet, we may have the education, careers, but many are finding their match much later in life, if ever, and having their first child in life much later, if ever.
tim pool
We're gonna talk about all of that.
It's gonna be fun.
We got Ian Easterling.
unidentified
Oh, yes.
ian crossland
Hello, everyone.
Ian Crossland here.
Great to be here.
Melanie, good to see you.
Thanks, Tim.
lydia smith
And Lydia in the corner pushing buttons as she does.
I'm very excited for this evening because I love talking about culture.
It's one of my favorite topics.
tim pool
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I want to jump to this first story, which, look, we're going to get into the census stuff for sure, but we're going to chill and we're going to talk about an article you wrote four years ago, Melanie.
So, we have this from the New York Post.
Childish men are to blame for women having kids late in life.
I wonder if that made men really angry?
At men or at you?
But just explain, what is this article about?
melanie notkin
So, as we know, generally the writer doesn't actually write the headline, so I would just like to say it, or add the photo.
That was not the point of the piece.
The point of the piece is to say that Pew Research had new data that found that women
are much more focused on marriage and parenthood than men are and also more focused on career
than men are.
And women have to know that they may not find the man that they want to be with as soon
as they want to be with him and that they need to consider whether they want to look
at their fertility, freeze their eggs, consider...
I haven't frozen my eggs.
I didn't freeze my eggs.
Maybe they want to think about having a baby on their own and save up for that.
Maybe they want to save up for IVF.
So that was what the piece was about.
It was never about making men feel like they are not worthy of women.
tim pool
How did, how did, how did that come about then?
How did they make your article about that?
melanie notkin
Because that's how headlines work.
tim pool
Is it because men, by virtue of what you're saying, they conclude that men aren't focused on family and career enough, so they're calling them childish men?
Was it a dude editor who was like, these men are losers?
melanie notkin
No.
And I love my editor.
My editor is amazing.
unidentified
No.
melanie notkin
Some men did certainly get upset.
In fact, there was one that decided we needed like a Talmudic, you know, treatise on this.
It was an hour-long, you know, opinion piece on how I was wrong, even though he was talking about the data that is peer research data.
It did upset a lot of men and that frankly upset me because I actually love men and I love boys and I'm a champion of men and boys and I don't think that men and boys are childish but I do think that we have a problem in America whereby we are so focused on girls and women and their power and empowerment that boys and men kind of fall into the background and I think that if we want to To enable women to have all that they want, we need to raise boys and men up.
tim pool
I don't know.
You run into trouble when you start talking about this stuff because even though right now women are the majority of those graduating college, the narrative is still that they're in the minority and they're in the weaker position.
Shouldn't we start getting rid of these women's programs and start propping up men's programs to encourage men to get... I'm not a fan of college, by the way, so this is not an apology or me now supporting it.
No, no, no.
But just for the general context, shouldn't these feminists be like, oh, we got to support the minority and that's the men now?
melanie notkin
You know, I don't know that you have to take anything away from girls.
Girls should be able to reach their potential.
The problem is that we've forgotten boys.
So, yes, girls in STEM, science, technology, engineering, and math, girls have to, you know, get equity with boys, and wonderful, fine, not a problem with that.
The issue is that boys are falling way behind in literacy, and we don't talk about that.
By age six, boys don't want to read with their mommy anymore because they think it's too girly.
And they don't want to read with the family anymore because it's just not something that they want to do.
And we tend to, again, focus on girls in STEM.
I'm a toy industry expert.
I go to Toy Fair every year and other toy events.
And I remember I went to one once, major company.
And they had dolls, fairy tale princess dolls, and with them came books.
So this princess had this book and this princess, and then we went around and the more superhero characters were just the dolls.
Where's the book?
What do you mean?
There's no book with these.
Right.
This was your perfect opportunity.
To engage boys in literacy.
This is how you do it.
They want to read.
tim pool
Interestingly, the assumption is that because boys are in the privileged position, they don't need help.
And from that, we've created a massive disparity and now... Right.
melanie notkin
It's a fallacy.
It's absolutely a fallacy.
tim pool
Well, so then the issue, I suppose, is how are boys supposed to catch back up to girls by going slower than they are or at the same pace?
Wouldn't you need special programs?
And wouldn't you then need to take away programs from women?
melanie notkin
You know, I'm not an educator, so I don't know what we would need to take away from girls.
And frankly, I don't think we need to take anything away from girls.
I think what happens that boys... Classrooms are set up for the way girls learn.
Sit still, listen, take notes, behave yourself, don't move around.
Boys need to move around.
You know, but then they get in trouble, and then they don't go back to class.
We've shrunk in recess, so boys aren't moving around when they have the chance to move around.
You know, some kids, even girls who have, you know, some form of ADD, they need to move in order to learn, but we don't want kids to do that.
Kids learn through play.
If you want to teach a child, especially a child zero to three, The best way to help them learn is to help them play.
So, yes, we need to help boys.
The way we do it is to consider how they learn and we need to decide that boys have great potential.
And if we believe in boys, boys will begin to believe in themselves.
And if boys believe in themselves, they will then go to high school and if they graduate high school, if they graduate high school, they may go to college if they want to.
And continue whatever it is that they want to do or not go to college, whatever it is.
We just need to give them the chance.
tim pool
What do we do about men now, though?
melanie notkin
In terms of?
tim pool
Not being career-driven?
Not having families?
melanie notkin
Yeah, it's sad.
It's sincerely sad.
I'm sad for the boys.
I'm sad for the men.
We have focused, again, so much on women.
That women have become more masculine because we've been told, Generation X, Millennials, that anything boys can do, girls can do better.
And you know, in the 80s, women, I was there, women wore, you know, shoulder pads, pantsuits.
We had to be masculine.
And we're taught, you know, now more recently, you have to lean in at work.
You know, you have to take on the way that men work, the way that men succeed in order to be equal.
To them.
And so women became more masculine.
And when you go on a date, women, no, no, I'm okay.
No, I'll pick the place.
Oh, no, no, let me pay.
And then you've got the men who don't feel like they're contributing anything.
And men want to feel like they're needed.
Like they're going to add value to this fabulous woman's life.
And women should start to become a little more feminine and understand that femininity is not weakness.
That's the issue.
We have the same thing of men means oh they're scary and it's toxic and toxic masculinity if they're a man who behaves like a man.
And if a woman behaves like a woman well then she must be weak and fragile and No, no.
There is more power in femininity.
In fact, it's true, I believe, that femininity is the one thing that can bring a man to his knees.
tim pool
I've often mentioned that I think feminism in today's day and age is actually anti-femininity and pro-masculinity.
They like to go after what they call toxic masculinity, but the way I break it down is we often hear about, like, women must be CEOs.
You know, we need more women doing that job and that job.
And while there are conversations about having men stay at home with the kids, there's not a big demand for it the same way.
So I just, when did this happen where the role of the maternal role just became irrelevant to society?
And I don't mean completely, but to a greater deal, where now it's like, no, no, no, no, the moms and the dads should be in the workforce and, you know, I don't know, have childcare.
We should now, what's really fascinating to me is they advocate for like government paid healthcare, or I'm sorry, childcare, guaranteed childcare.
And it's like, shouldn't the parents have some system where they take care of their kids?
Instead, it's the maternal role is being shoved down and women and men should both be in the workforce.
melanie notkin
Sure.
Well, so to be fair, today with the economy, it happens that often enough, both parents need to work.
So there's that too.
So let's set that aside.
tim pool
But is that a result of women in the workplace?
melanie notkin
It could be.
tim pool
You double the supply of workers, the demand doesn't change.
All of a sudden, everyone's undercutting each other's wages.
melanie notkin
It could be.
I'm not an economist, and so I don't know that I can speak to it, but it could be, and I've thought about that myself.
It's true that this idea that we don't have enough women CEOs, higher management, etc., basically doesn't answer the question of whether or not women want that.
And it's not to say that women don't want to reach their potential, but their potential isn't necessarily in the office. And we've created this narrative that women
have to keep fighting, you know, in the glass ceiling and all this. Not
all women want that.
And that's okay too. In fact, women have it pretty well.
Because a woman can go to college, she can get like a law degree and, you know, get
married and have a child and decide, you know what, I miss my kid every time I
leave him and I just want to be home and I want to be mom and my husband
can afford to take care of us. Women have that choice. It's extraordinary.
And yet we talk about women as if we're sort of always limited by the quote-unquote
unidentified
patriarchy.
tim pool
Why do you think they have that choice?
I kind of feel like right now guys aren't on average doing as well.
I mean, that's kind of the point of the conversation.
They're not making as much money.
They're not as driven.
I think also they're not as worried because they've got all the time in the world as far as they're concerned.
So if a woman is doing well in her career and she wants to then have a family and have the husband work, She's got to contend with the fact that there's probably not, it's going to be hard to find a guy for a few reasons.
One, who's making enough money to support the family should she choose to opt out.
Who's going to be interested in a woman who has a career even.
Maybe the guy just wants somebody, he wants a wife from the get-go.
You also have the issue, we have, our friend Jack Murphy comes on the show quite a bit.
And he talks about how he thinks guys should go for women 10 years younger than them, who don't do any of this, get someone who's 22, marry her and just get a housewife, don't worry about someone who's got a career.
So if you have that mentality, how does a career woman then, you know, have what you're describing?
melanie notkin
So, actually, Maureen Dowd wrote about this in an op-ed in the New York Times in 2005, how what men really want is their mother, and I agree.
And the problem is that this generation were not their mother.
Gen X was able to do things that our mothers couldn't do.
When, you know, women who graduated high school in the 50s, you know, if you look at their yearbook, you know, what they were going to be was teacher, nurse, nun, secretary.
Those are her choices.
If you're Jewish, you only had three.
So what was Gen X, millennial women, going to do once we went to college?
We did everything right.
There's no reason why we shouldn't go to college.
No reason why we shouldn't pay the rent.
And then in terms of this career woman thing, there are no career men.
Nobody accuses a man of prioritizing having a job over everything else in his life.
I mean, I always wanted to marry and have children very much, so if I didn't have a career, I mean, you'd basically be, you know, paying my way through life as a taxpayer, right?
Because I wouldn't be employed.
So, you know, women have to take care of themselves.
They have to have agency.
So, men do want their mother, and we're not their mothers, which isn't to say that women aren't nurturing, women don't want to do this, that women don't want to nurture and take care of their husbands and take care of their partners.
I know most women do want that.
They also, though, want to know that if they're going to go through childbirth, which can be fatal, That there's a man there who's going to be there, and certainly if God forbid she didn't survive, be there for the child, be able to pay for the child.
And I mean this in an evolutionary way.
She may not be thinking this literally.
But, yeah.
And so it is difficult.
And this is why we have so many women who are the new, just newly released data, a woman is, the average age of marriage for a woman is 27.
Just 20 years ago, it was 25.
tim pool
Wow.
I wonder if, as Jordan Peterson mentions, enforced monogamy.
Are you familiar with the term?
It doesn't mean what I think a lot of the feminists thought it meant, like the government would come and like force women to marry some incel dude or something like that.
But you're talking about, you know, women want to be secure.
They want to know that if they're going to have a kid, they're going to be protected or safe or have someone to take care of them.
Isn't that what marriage did?
melanie notkin
Yeah, that's certainly what marriage did.
And that's what, right, the idea is that we should have a culture to, you know, encourage boys and men to look to marriage.
That's, that's a good thing.
And now they're not really encouraged to do that.
And partly, it is, you know, certainly, so in terms of the college graduation, so 58% of college graduates now,
brand new data are women, 42% men.
So, and women tend to want to marry a man, even if she's got a high or pretty, you know,
she never has to worry again about her income.
She still wants to marry a man who is making at least the same amount of money.
And of course, there aren't enough men who have that potential.
tim pool
Not even that.
So there's another article from the New York Post, which I've talked about quite a bit, and it always gets me in a lot of trouble with the feminists.
Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do.
And look, when we have Jack Murphy on the show, and we had a long conversation about this, where he was saying that if you're a guy and you're successful, why would you find a woman your own age, when you could have someone 10, 15 years younger?
So you're 35, you go for a 22-year-old, Dedicated housewife doesn't have a career and for you know,
I guess I don't put words in his mouth but a lot the idea to a lot of these guys is that a
Younger woman who can get an older man who's accomplished successful has a lot of money
It's I mean, it's a big leap in access to resources and societal status when you've got a guy who's not wished well-connected
So if you have a woman who's a 30 or in her 30s and she's working and you know a job
She's making maybe sixty five seventy thousand dollars a year working at a publication in New York City
I'll see you next time.
A guy who's the same age who's making that much money could probably easily get a much, much younger woman because that's a lot of money to a younger person, which I imagine must make it more difficult for women.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
That's exactly right.
tim pool
That's it.
It's like we got a rock and a heartless, I guess.
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
No, that's, that's the issue.
And so I'm looking toward Gen Z and whatever that we're going to call the next generation is that if we don't want that to happen, we don't want to keep women back.
It's not like we want to keep girls and women back from reaching their potential and contributing to the world.
What we want to do is help raise boys and men to reach their potential.
ian crossland
You mentioned femininity earlier and how it's one of the things that can bring men to their knees.
melanie notkin
Yes.
ian crossland
And I thought about proposal and how men propose from their knees.
melanie notkin
Exactly.
ian crossland
And it's like, when you're brought to your knees, why is that a thing?
Is it because they were so broken and desperate?
Please be with me forever.
Please don't leave.
Is that why they're doing it from their knees?
Because they're begging to God, which is the woman?
melanie notkin
It could be.
It could be.
I don't know where it comes from.
tim pool
reason you know we see you ever see that really funny video where there's like
two birds and like the female bird looks kind of normal just like a brown bird
or whatever but the male bird is like jet black and it's jumping back and
forth dancing it's like trying to prove their worth so when the guy gets on his
knees basically saying to the woman I will never leave you I am on my knees for you.
So you will be safe with me if you get pregnant.
So you mentioned, you know, evolution.
A woman who gets pregnant is at risk.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
I mean, you're not going to be running.
You're not going to be fighting.
You need protection.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
And so you need to know that the guy is going to stand up.
I guess the problem arises in that we are the apex predator.
We kill and eat basically everything.
And in cities, the only predators are other humans.
So there's still a need for some protection, but also access to resources is important.
Now everything's kind of changing, especially with, you know, maternity laws.
You know, so women get pregnant, they can keep working, and now a lot of companies are like, even if once someone gets pregnant, she can go home, she can stay home, and we'll still keep paying her.
So I think that also, we keep moving this direction, we're going to keep removing the need for marriage, which is going to slowly eat away at families having children to result in slow population growth.
Seems like it's just dominoes falling over.
melanie notkin
Well, in fact, there is a rise in people living together, couples living together and not getting married.
And I don't have the, I haven't dug in too deeply into it, but my hypothesis is, again it's a buyer's market for men, that a woman who really wants a baby with a partner And he won't commit.
She will acquiesce to saying, yeah, no, we're just, we're going to live together because, like, it's cool.
Like, no, it's great.
I mean, really, what do we need a piece of paper for?
Because if not, he's going to go to the next person, right?
So, and this is what's going on in campus.
This is what the hookup culture is about.
A girl will, you know, girls are, you know, kids are kids.
Sorry, yeah, I am old.
I'm on campus.
The hookup culture is because there's so many more girls, except for maybe MIT, than men on campus.
And girls say, well, no, it doesn't mean anything.
No, we're just friends.
No, no.
But really, what she's really saying, I bet, is, pick me.
Pick me.
Let me do whatever I can to show him how good I am in bed, how much I love him, how much I care about him.
But no, no, it's all cool.
No, don't worry about it.
Women are acquiescing all the time.
And in fact, they're acting like men.
Men are the ones who spread the seed.
Men are the ones who have sex with a lot of women.
All of a sudden, women are doing it.
And I, you know, I say, you know what?
No, women don't really want to have sex like men.
They want to have sex like women.
And what they're doing is they are listening to this narrative that in order to be equal to men, They have to be men and that happens even when it comes to sex with 22 year olds.
tim pool
It reminds me of similar things to what Jordan Peterson talks about.
Women trying to be men.
It also reminds me of jokes from Family Guy where they did one where it's the woman trying to fit in with all the guys.
Desperately trying to act like a guy as if that's what she should be doing.
Yeah, it's not confidence building.
Everything's happening.
But I will mention one thing as for marriage.
You know, there was one message that I was smacked in the head with over and over again as I was growing up is, do not get married.
You will regret it.
melanie notkin
Who said that to you?
tim pool
Married with Children, the highest rated show at the time.
ian crossland
My parents wouldn't let us watch it.
tim pool
Yes, a syndicated show where Al Bundy, the main character, hated his wife.
They hated each other.
But it's not the only show.
You hear this all the time from older men.
They call it the ball and chain.
Now, what kind of message is that to a guy?
Then you look at Divorce courts.
There was a case, I think this was in Illinois, where a man and a woman were getting divorced, and it was partly because of the woman's, I think it was a drug addiction.
It's been a long time since I've read the story.
The court sided with the mother, who was a known drug addict, because courts have a bias towards the woman, and then she killed her kids.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
And so the dad, who was a regular working class guy, begged the court, this woman has been arrested before, she does drugs, it's dangerous.
And they said, we can't take a kid away from their mother.
And then she ended up killing them because she didn't want them to have him and then taking her own life like overdosing.
So when you hear these stories all the time, when you constantly hear about how divorce courts, what is it, like 84% of the time favor the woman?
What's the incentive for a man to marry a woman If all it means for him is that he can lose half of his life and still lose his kids in the long run, why do it?
melanie notkin
It breaks my heart.
I've certainly dated divorced men and I've heard chilling stories.
My friend, Greg Ellis, his book is coming out Father's Day or that week called The Respondent, and it is about his hellish experience of being divorced or getting or his wife springing.
I won't.
It's it's literally a page like a thriller, like it reads like a thriller.
The hell he has gone through and the hell that men go through.
I think that for some reason everything needs to be equities everywhere, equality is everywhere.
But when it comes to family law, It is so incredibly unfair to men and it sincerely breaks
my heart.
And to your point, it doesn't help women because it means that a woman can basically, I mean
it's really this sort of believe all women, you know, idea, philosophy in courts.
And it breaks my heart because men are wonderful.
There are as many bad men as there are bad women.
Men are fantastic and men do so much for their families generally.
So I'm with you.
But I think that the reason why men marry women is because they love them.
Which doesn't mean that things don't happen and that, you know, people don't change or circumstances, what have you, right?
For whatever reason people get divorced.
But I believe in love and I believe that a man is better with a partner and a woman is better with a partner and whether that could be the same sex.
The idea is that we are better when we have a strong existential, spiritual, emotional, mental connection with somebody.
We do better in life and marriage is a strong partnership to do that.
Now I have not married, not because I didn't want to, I very much I still want to, but I never wanted to marry a man I wasn't in love with because every man deserves to be loved and I didn't want to be in a relationship where I didn't feel loved.
tim pool
I wonder though, I was reading this a while ago, but I was also reading it recently, that love and marriage is a modern construct.
That marriages used to be contractual, more corporate than anything.
You had the dowry, and it was basically...
Well, you know, marriages are arranged for this or that reason and less so, you know, in our culture and going back to the various cultures that make up the United States.
But if you look at a lot of Eastern culture, arranged marriage very much still exists because it was transactional.
melanie notkin
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
Families did it.
All the royals are intramarried.
I mean, there's no question.
Today, we don't have to do that.
Maybe that is a benefit.
There are a lot of benefits of feminism.
And that women can now live toward their potential.
We have the opportunity to do more than be only nurses, secretaries, nuns, and teachers.
Not to say those are all great professions, but we can do more.
The difference is that, now I've just lost my train of thought.
Oh, the marriage.
But if a woman wasn't making any money, then how was she going to find a man?
Like, the man could just pick any woman.
This way, if it was arranged, at least she was safe.
Like, this was, you know, we're wealthy.
You have your, you know, life standards.
This man will make sure that you have... We can do this.
You're from the same class, the same religion, the same royal, whatever it is.
So that's part of it.
You know, people have this issue with the Disney fairy tales, which aren't really Disney fairy tales.
They're Disney-fied fairy tales.
And, you know, we talk about, like, Cinderella, et cetera.
Well, why is the, you know, why did the mother die in all of them?
Well, the mother's dead to show kids, first of all, that mothers did die young.
Anyway, they died when they were, like, 30.
That these girls could be on their own, take care of themselves.
But, yeah, but, you know, well, she marries some prince.
I'm like, listen, here's the thing.
She had no education.
No skills.
No job opportunities.
What was she going to do?
The truth is, a prince?
Pretty good deal.
So, yes, we have to think about things that, historically, people did things the way they did them for a reason.
Today, you know, that's not what marriage is for.
Marriage is a partnership.
I mean, I have a cousin who's, you know, been co-CEO of a Fortune 500 company and her husband worked but not Anywhere near to that level.
It's not like it doesn't happen that, you know, women can be more successful in terms of affluence, income, but for the most part, you know, women want to know that the man that they're with will also enable them to reach their potential as he, as she would do for him, not only in terms of a job and career, but also in terms of family, in terms of whatever else that they want to do.
tim pool
I think that's the, I think there's an incongruity, there's an impasse.
You've got, I think, a lot of men who want just a wife.
Like you mentioned, they want their moms.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
So this current generation is just, there's no coming together.
It's like, if women are taking on masculine roles, if they're taking jobs, men, to a higher degree, don't want that.
melanie notkin
Right.
So then it's just, I'm very much into, when it comes to dating, I tell women it's okay to be feminine.
It's okay.
You don't have to pick the restaurant.
You don't have to offer to pay.
The man knows what he's getting himself into.
He's prepared.
We know what this is.
It's a dance and it's okay.
Now it doesn't mean you never reciprocate.
Other way.
But let him court you.
Let him... Give him the opportunity to show you why he's worthy of you.
Because that's what he wants to show you.
Don't say, I don't need you to help pick the wine.
I can pick my...
You know what?
It's wine.
Unless it's Chardonnay, because I really hate Chardonnay.
It's okay.
You're not gonna die from the fact that he chose this Cabernet Sauvignon.
Just let him do it.
It's okay.
He wants to give to you.
In fact, a great way to turn men on is to ask him to help you.
tim pool
I kind of feel like a lot of this has to do with, at some point there was a fracture in our society that resulted in two different factions, I guess, right?
We have the culture war today, a lot of people trying to figure out if it's left versus right, nationalist versus globalist, or authoritarian, whatever.
And when I hear stories like this, as a guy, you never know what ideology the woman holds.
And so are you even allowed to make a move on the woman as it is?
So you mentioned the guys want to court you.
Well, if you go to like a sports pub, you're probably going to bump into a guy who knows nothing about critical theory and feminism, and they'll probably start hitting on you.
If you're in a big city, though, and you go to like a hipster bar, the guys won't go anywhere near you because you're not allowed to.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
So, I mean, you look at that video that went viral.
You see it was 10 hours of walking in New York as a woman.
Remember that one?
melanie notkin
Oh, yeah.
tim pool
So, some of these things that were depicted as wrong was a guy saying, howdy, or like, nice day, or how you doing?
And hello.
It's terrible.
If that's the message we're getting from mainstream media, then what guy is going to risk his reputation, his career, and then, even if he does get married, get divorced at some point, and then just lose everything and his kids?
Society is currently being set up in a way that is telling men to do everything they can not to get married, and they're happy.
No responsibility.
They can sit around playing video games all day.
I think it's bad for the spirit.
And in the long term, the purpose of our society, but I think this is just another factor that's resulting in the collapse of American culture and Western culture over... I don't know what it is.
I don't want to say it's that we have too much freedom or anything like that, that we can choose to just Self-gratify, right?
We're a wealthy, successful country, so we can play video games all day, we can drink Mountain Dew and eat Taco Bell and not have to worry about a thing.
I don't think that it's our choice, our ability to do these things.
I think it's the pressures of... Man, I go back to what we were mentioning earlier with doubling the workforce in a short amount of time.
As soon as people were like, you know, we should have women in the workplace if they so choose, it became part of a movement that they should be in the workplace.
All of a sudden, then, you double the workforce without increasing demand, and everyone's competing and wages are dropping.
Then they say, okay, we gotta have a minimum wage to guarantee it, but there's still not enough jobs, so then some people don't have jobs.
Once that happens and everyone's wages are depressed, there's a lot of other factors as to why that happens.
You have all of these factors building up over decades that result in a generation of people who are not compatible in terms of long-term relationships and families.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
No, it's depressing and it's sad, and I think that we are too focused on the narratives of how to be a woman means, you know, to be President of the United States, to be Vice President of the United States, to be the top echelon of everything.
And, I mean, all the power to every woman, and I certainly strive in my own career, my own life, to be the To reach my potential, and I'm so grateful to live in a country that enables me to do that.
But the truth is different than the narrative, and the truth is that most women become mothers.
Most women want to be mothers, which isn't to say that there aren't women who are child-free by choice, and they honor and champion the choice.
Everybody should do what they need and want to do.
The issue is that men are feeling, and I hear what you're saying, why should I get off the couch?
First of all, I can sext her.
And because she likes me and wants my attention, she'll sext back so I don't even need to take her out on a date.
Right, and if I take her out on a date, I mean, she's gonna make me feel like I'm not a man because she's gonna, like, not let me participate in... I don't think that's an issue.
No?
tim pool
No.
I mean, maybe it depends on generation, you know, so maybe older guys really want that.
Me, personally, I've never really cared much for if a woman was like, I want this, I want that, whatever, I don't care.
melanie notkin
Right, so what women want, so modern women want old-fashioned romance.
Now many feminists will say no, that's not true, but that's really what women want and partly because they are working so hard.
They are working hard in their career, those who have careers, right?
They're working hard there, but also They are nurturers so they're working on their friendships and their girlfriends that call them upset.
They're working to make sure their parents are okay, that their siblings are okay, their neighbors are okay.
They do a lot because of their own innate sense of taking care of people and taking care of the children in their life, etc.
And they want to know when they're with a guy that all he has to do is just say, meet me at this restaurant at 7 p.m.
That, that is like such a thing that women want.
It makes them feel so good.
So a guy's like, I don't care if she picks a place.
Like, whatever, whatever she wants.
Like, I mean, if she, there's a place like around the corner from her that she, I don't care.
tim pool
It's funny.
It starts to sound to me like feminism is one of the worst possible things for women in the long run, and one of the best possible things for guys in the long run, from a very, like... What's the right way?
From a sort of mathematical perspective.
So, guys used to have to work really hard.
Backbreaking labor, you know, wiping the sweat off their brow, covered in dirt, going down to the coal mines.
Now they've got women working to support themselves so the guys don't have to worry about it anymore.
Women are not making the same demands of men in terms of sexual relationships.
It's just go on Tinder and the guy doesn't have to worry about it.
So now guys don't have to work.
They've got all the time in the world because they don't have a biological clock in the same way as a woman.
So they're sitting back with their feet up playing video games without a stress in the world.
I'm being hyperbolic.
Sure.
Women are working, they're worried about how much time they have in order to have a family, they're stressing about how to find the right guy, and guys are just sitting there swiping on Tinder while they're watching, you know, porn.
Yeah, so they're swiping on Tinder and watching porn at the same time.
And they're like, what am I worried about?
I've got friends, you know, I grew up skateboarding, and all of these guys Don't care about anything.
They will work a minimum wage job if it means that you can have ten people in a two-bedroom apartment so they can work only a couple days, it's a hundred bucks a month for rent, and they can skate the rest of the day.
That's all they care about.
And I look at the guys who grew up around me from my neighborhood and everything.
A few of them have families.
But not by plan, you know what I mean?
And then everyone else who kind of planned and worked and went to college, they're sitting back with their feet up, making tons of money, they have careers, and they're not worried at all.
And you talk to them and they're like, eh, I don't know, you know, when I'm 40 maybe I'll find a 25-year-old.
They're not worried at all.
melanie notkin
Right, right.
No, and also because they don't have a biological clock and all of that.
And you are a prime example of a guy who decided that wasn't enough and you manned up your own life.
Look at what you're doing, right?
You're the guy who said, no, this is not fulfilling for me to only skateboard or sit on the couch or Tinder porn watch,
right?
You decided that, no, I have potential.
I have great potential.
I don't even know my potential because I haven't even started it yet and then you did and you're still going and you're still going.
You're building a media empire, right?
You're a man.
And that's sexy to women.
It is not sexy for a guy to be sitting on the couch, you know, swiping on Tinder.
Women don't find that appealing.
But it works for them.
Well, it does and it doesn't.
There's also a lot of men who are depressed, a lot of men who, you know, unfortunately commit suicide, a lot of men who are overdosing, who are aimless, and they're getting older, and they don't know how to get out of it.
And I'm hoping one of the silver linings of COVID is That many were forced to be alone.
That there was no other choice.
Maybe life needs a little more meaning.
And again, that's where a partner, a woman or man, in his life can help him get there.
tim pool
We've been talking a little bit about the rat utopia experiment.
Have you ever heard of that?
unidentified
No.
melanie notkin
It sounds lovely.
tim pool
I don't know.
I don't know too much about it other than people have chatted us about it.
But the general premise was that they created the space where they put a bunch of rats in this, you know, terrarium kind of thing.
Unlimited food and water.
Not a care in the world.
No threats.
And eventually they populated to a certain point.
Then they started becoming...
They started changing.
Some stopped having sex altogether, some stopped eating, some just started dying.
I think some started becoming cannibals.
It was like really brutal.
Once they reached a certain level of crowding and population, weird things started happening in their rat society.
I wonder if humans have reached a point like that, and I think that's why people bring it up, to where maybe the reason we're not having families anymore is because we got a ton of people on the planet as it is.
ian crossland
Especially psychologically with social media.
In the early days, I was like, oh, Facebook, good.
I'm going to get all my friends on Facebook, and then I'll be able to message everybody at once, and then I can throw a big party where I have everyone to my house.
And then all of a sudden, I had like 170 people, 300 people, and I didn't talk to any of them.
I was so overwhelmed.
tim pool
And that's like one of the things that happened with the rat utopia experiments.
They would like crowd in areas just like in weird ways.
But I wonder if what happens is, you know, we used to have kids out of necessity.
You know, that's why if you look at less developed nations, they have lots of kids because the kids do jobs.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
But now we got washing machines, we got dishwashers, we got stoves, we got clean running water in the cities.
So you don't need to have kids.
Maybe it's just a natural state of life where you find this equilibrium point where you just don't need to have kids, so there's no real drive to do it.
melanie notkin
No woman goes through childbirth because she needs it.
Because she's literally putting her life in danger.
Women have an existential, in her body, everything, not all women, most women, to have a child.
Do you think every month, We have a violent reminder of our evolutionary, you know, role.
And it's not the patriarchy that created menstruation, right?
We have it.
tim pool
But I'm not saying that, like, women sit there and think to themselves, like, I'm gonna have a kid because I need to have a kid.
I'm just saying that pressures begin to appear to not have kids once a certain level in a population size or amount of resources.
And then it just becomes less feasible for people to do.
ian crossland
That's definitely the case for men.
I mean, we used to spread our seed to as many women as possible, and now that's become taboo in society.
So that's an example of not overpopulating.
tim pool
Is it taboo?
ian crossland
For the most part, polygamy is kind of looked down upon in modern America.
tim pool
Yeah, but promiscuity is through the roof.
ian crossland
But not having children all over the place.
Definitely doing it.
tim pool
I mean, yeah, I guess you'd be frowned upon in any capacity.
The old trope was that the guy would be chased out of the farmhouse by the dad with the shotgun, you know, who was sleeping with the farmer's daughter or whatever.
ian crossland
All that alimony.
tim pool
Well, it was because you have to make, like, shotgun wedding, you know?
You're gonna take care of this kid, and you've just committed yourself to doing it.
These days, it's like, swipe on Tinder, you just sit there and you swipe non-stop, and then you do whatever you want.
And it's encouraged.
ian crossland
Back in the old days, like I'm thinking of Zeus, you know, these ancient, where he had like 40 kids, and then he had kids with his kids, and like, because they needed to populate, they were like recovering from a flood.
tim pool
Those are stories.
ian crossland
Yeah.
tim pool
Didn't he turn himself into a duck and then bang a woman or something?
lydia smith
Wow!
ian crossland
Brutal.
What a weird story.
Maybe it was real, maybe it wasn't, but I think that behavior wasn't so taboo as it is today, and where So whereas women have the burning desire to have children, men have the burning desire to have, to spread their seed.
And we've had to kind of culturally subdue that because it doesn't mix with modern day, you know, society.
Like too many kids without fathers would be very bad for society.
unidentified
What is that?
melanie notkin
It's bad for the kids.
Kids who are born with, who don't have a father, father figure in the household are more likely to be poor, more likely not to graduate high school, more likely to end up in jail.
So, men have a very important role in society, and again, it just keeps, you've asked, you know, well, what can we do?
And unfortunately, you know, it's too late for the millennial and Gen X generations to change that, although certainly men can stand up and do better.
And they can be there for boys.
And even if you're not a father, if you're an uncle or if you're a friend of the family, you could be there for a boy and you can help raise that boy.
That is such a gift to that boy because that boy will grow up to reach his potential if he has that.
But unfortunately, we have kids who aren't growing up without dads and it just keeps going around and around the same circle.
Look, again, women generally want to be moms.
Not all women.
Women want to be moms.
And it is devastating when she's doing everything she can.
She's doing all the right things.
She's contributing to society.
She's doing everything she can.
And I agree with you that a guy who's, you know, her equal in terms of, you know, career, income, what have you, He, you know, she's 35, he's 35, he can easily marry a 25-year-old.
What happened to her, right?
So it is, but it's devastating to those women.
The level of, I mean, I've, I have grieved not having children.
I'm, I'm beyond hope of having children.
And so I've moved on from that, but certainly, I mean, and it's, and it's elongated now because it used to be that a woman, you know, hit a certain age, 40 plus or minus, she was no longer fertile, couldn't have children.
But today, let's say egg freezing.
Well, there's still hope.
Or even IVF.
There's still hope.
All this technology.
People will tell you, oh but my cousin's sister's neighbor had twins at 45.
Still hope.
So what does that do?
It creates this longer time of grief for this woman.
And it's really hard.
I'm, again, a champion of boys and I think we need to go back and look at education, how we are educating boys, how we're making sure that they have male role models, how we're letting them play, encouraging them to play, all of those things, right?
I think that we also, on the men's side, need to be a little bit more sympathetic to women.
They're not desperate because they really want to go out with you again because they like you.
They're not desperate because they want to have a baby in their 36.
They're women, and they want to be moms, and that's perfectly normal, and it doesn't make them weak.
It makes them strong to be able to admit that that's what they want.
And if you're a guy who's going to lead a woman on, and just because, you know, you don't really want, I don't know, well, maybe we'll try, well, maybe next year, well, when I get a raise, you know what?
Her fertility doesn't have time for your excuses.
So if you love her, or if you don't love her, let her go, or get married, and be a man.
tim pool
So there's a, I guess it's a stereotype, maybe there's actual data behind this, I've not read it, that men tend to be goal-oriented and women tend to be social-oriented.
So a guy derives his joy from accomplishing something that dopamine hit, whereas women from social acceptance.
And I don't know if that's true, but it does kind of play into the story about how young women are becoming depressed because of social media.
They go on Instagram, they take a selfie, they post it, it doesn't get enough likes, they delete it right away.
And it does affect guys, but not as much.
melanie notkin
Sure.
tim pool
I've noticed something really interesting when I watch skateboarding videos on Instagram.
I noticed that there are a lot of videos of guys skateboarding.
And actually, you know what?
I'm not even talking about skateboarding.
When guys take photos of things or when they post things, it's an object.
When women do it, it's of them.
So I even know female journalists and it's the weirdest thing to me where they're like on the ground in the Middle East and they're taking a selfie of themselves with like the thing in the background and I'm like...
Just show the tank, like, you know?
And then what guys do is they'll post a video of just the tank with themselves not in it.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
So I wonder if that also plays a very serious role in that the reason women are hyper-focusing on work is because society, because of what would be deemed acceptable.
And this is stemming from when you look at news media and cultural media, the women who are working these jobs are mostly career women, not all of them.
And then you end up with a tendency to only get the positive social message from women who are not married, who are working careers, then telling younger women, this is the right way to do it, this is what's great.
And because of the social pressure, they do, and that's perpetuating this cycle.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
There are no career women.
It's not like women are choosing to have a career.
Women have to work.
We do.
What else are we supposed to do?
tim pool
Get married at a young age, I guess.
ian crossland
And siphon off the man.
tim pool
Or have a traditional family.
ian crossland
I guess raising a kid's worth more than money, that's for sure.
melanie notkin
But it's not like they're choosing career over love, marriage, and motherhood.
I didn't do that.
Most women aren't doing that.
tim pool
Well, what's stopping them from having a relationship then?
lydia smith
So my mom actually asked me this because she and I were talking about millennial women and why they don't really appear to want to get married and or have kids.
And I said, Mom, we can't afford to.
We can't afford rent.
Where we were living, rent was like $1,400 or $1,500 a month.
And I was like, there's no way to afford rent and also have children unless you are both working.
And I was like, I don't want to do that.
I want to be able to actually raise my kids.
And that means like part-time work or not working at all and being like a stay-at-home mom.
It's very much a matter of money.
I think you're right.
melanie notkin
Yeah, no, it is.
tim pool
It's economics.
How did the families do it, I don't know, 300 years ago?
Walking in the woods with a shark?
lydia smith
Yeah, we don't have that anymore.
melanie notkin
The economy today means that most women and men have to work.
What else are we going to do?
And especially when a woman—why shouldn't a woman work?
Why shouldn't a woman have a career?
And I don't mean this in the feminist way, in the traditional feminist way.
I just mean it like, why not?
That's not feminism, that's just being human.
I very much wanted to be married and have children.
I had a baby name book when I was 12.
that she, like for instance, again, me, right?
I very much wanted to be married and have children.
I had a baby name book when I was 12.
I mean, I had planned my wedding in my family backyard.
This was what I wanted and it didn't happen, not because I didn't want it,
but if I didn't have as well, like when I was in my late 30s,
that's when I decided to create my own company because I didn't know if I was gonna have some legacy.
And that's in the end, part of why we have children.
We wanna know we're gonna leave something.
We want, if it's not literal DNA, then maybe it's some sort of intellectual DNA.
There's something we can leave behind.
And so that's why women have careers because they need to be able to pay the rent, etc.
And by the way, if they do meet a guy, he's divorced because the 22-year-old he married really wasn't exactly what he needed because she was much more interested in her body and her selfies than in him and in helping him be the best he can be.
And he then finds this 40-year-old woman Who's amazing because they're the same age and actually share the same conversations, intellect, experience, etc.
And he's, well, OK, well, we'll have a kid together.
OK, but where was she going to get the money for the IVF or for the eggs that she froze?
I mean, careers pay for things.
And part of it is it gives her a safety net for her fertility.
tim pool
It seems like a tsunami, I guess, or it's like, because every single woman and man are engaging in these certain behaviors, it's created a situation where no one person, an avalanche is a better word for it, no one snowflake can now break away.
If the system were that, you know, like it was way back in the day where women would just, you know, they're in high school and they're like thinking about the guy they want to marry or whatever and then they got out of high school and then sought to get married and the guy took care of everything, I think that Yeah.
the avalanche started, you know, for a lot of reasons.
I think it's great that women, you know, civil rights expanded, women are in the workplace,
women voting and all that stuff.
But it's, I wonder if, you know, the pendulum swings and you can't just stop it.
So it goes entirely to the other side and now it's, well, women now have to work.
It's not, you don't have a choice.
Whereas back in the day, it was difficult for women to work.
So the pendulum was on one side, it should have been in the place where everyone could choose to work if they want to, but now it's, you have to work, sorry.
And because of that, it's creating pressures that make it very difficult to actually have a family.
And it's making it very difficult for people to afford to have a family because...
Well, you can't just walk into the woods with an axe anymore and build a log cabin and have your kids.
Now everything's under control by government regulation.
So there's no getting on a boat and go finding a place where, you know, back in the day, and I mean like hundreds of years ago, a dude would walk over and like stick a piece of wood in the ground and be like, mine.
And then have a kid and be like, we're gonna live here.
There's water.
Can't do that anymore.
melanie notkin
Right.
And that's actually what's sexy to a woman, a decisive man.
And I mean that sincerely.
A woman wants a man who say, You, I want you.
And I want you, this is how we're going to live.
I have, you know, savings and I'm buying this house and we have this car and we're going
to, now a woman can say, well, I mean, I really prefer that car.
Okay, we'll get that car.
I mean, you can come to, you can negotiate.
But a woman wants a man who wants her, is decisive about it, is strong about it, where
she feels like this is the guy who isn't going to want to spread his seeds.
So she feels safe and secure that once she has a baby, he's not going to leave her to
go have a baby with somebody else.
Women want men who are decisive.
Women want men who are thoughtful.
They're not a-holes, right?
And fun.
Three things.
So, the question is, you, again, Tim, are a man.
You have taken charge of your life.
You are, you get hit by the left, by the right, and by the middle, and by everybody around it.
Most of the people don't even get who you are or what you're doing.
You are, you're like leading a way, and others are trying to copy you, be you, whatever it is, because you're so good at what you do.
tim pool
Yeah, they stole my thumbnails.
unidentified
They did.
melanie notkin
I believe that.
tim pool
Everybody does the red with the bold and they use the same font and everything.
Yep.
If it works, it works.
melanie notkin
And you're a skateboarder and you show everybody how much fun you're having.
I mean, you're the kind of guy that women want.
Do you want to get married?
tim pool
I'm worried about the legal system.
melanie notkin
OK.
tim pool
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
But yeah, I do.
melanie notkin
Prenups can help.
Yeah.
unidentified
But it's it's just what's the point?
melanie notkin
What do you mean?
What's the point?
tim pool
What's the point of marriage?
melanie notkin
Well, let's discuss what is the point of marriage?
Part of the point of marriage is to have a partner.
unidentified
I mean, do you do you?
melanie notkin
Do you feel like when you have somebody important in your life, that you have more energy, you have more incentive?
Yes, you do.
You're nodding yes.
tim pool
Everything, I would say all of the expansion, what people need to realize is that none of this would not be possible without Allison, who is my girlfriend.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
And she is effectively running this business.
melanie notkin
Okay.
tim pool
So I sit around and people say like, Hey, we want to do this.
And I'm like, ask Alison.
Because I can look at a camera, I can talk, give my opinions, but the paperwork, the fine, I would not be able to do it without her.
melanie notkin
Right.
That's a true partner.
tim pool
There was, there was like a wall where a certain point it was like, here I am, here's what I can do.
And this is what we have.
And then you, you find that, you know, that, that partner who can help you.
And then all of a sudden it just like the wall exploded.
And now it's just like, we're growing out of control.
It's amazing.
melanie notkin
You are one of the most fortunate people in the world to be as young as you are, and I know you're not in your 20s, but young.
tim pool
I'm an old man.
melanie notkin
I'm 35.
And to have found a woman who loves you, and just by her very being and loving you, enables you to be twice the guy you are.
That doesn't come across very, that doesn't happen often.
You're very lucky and she's very lucky that you understand that and that you see that in her and I'm sure that how all the ways that she helps you and and and your life is like twice the life or more.
Her life is twice the life or more by being able to give you that.
That's how she grows.
So I don't want you to focus on all the things that could go wrong and unfortunately right now for men it's tougher.
I want you to focus on all the stuff that's going right.
I'm envious of you.
I want that kind of love.
I want a partner and I've had those partners and unfortunately it didn't work out for whatever reason.
That's the kind of partner you deserve, kind of partner I deserve, we all deserve.
And Allison deserves.
So I'm hoping that she brings you down to your knees.
ian crossland
It's more than twice as effective, too, like when you have the right partner.
It seems like you do 10% of the work.
Like what you're doing becomes 10% of the next structure.
And she's handling like 90%.
I'm not just saying you specifically in this situation, but like when you're in the right situation, you end up doing like What your old 100% was is now 10% of the new system, which is now 1000% of what you were capable of before.
melanie notkin
You're building a world together.
You're building a life together.
You know, there's this thing when a Jewish couple, a more traditional Jewish couple gets married, the bride walks around her groom seven times because that's the number of days it took to create the world.
She's helping him create his world and she is his world and he is her world.
That's what life is about.
It's about partnership.
It's about building a world together.
And your world wouldn't look like it does without your partner, without Allison.
And I find sometimes I'm frustrated because I know I could be so much more if I had that partner.
And yeah, I have great men in my life.
I have good friends in my life.
That's why I champion men and I'm so grateful for the men in my life.
Obviously, I want a relationship and I want marriage.
So what does marriage give me?
It gives me me.
ian crossland
You know, my issue with marriage, let me be pedantic for a moment, is the definition of the word means to mix.
When you marry two things, you're mixing them.
And I've seen people that live together for 50 years, never, never involved the legal system.
And they're just a couple that live their life and love each other and maybe even have kids outside of the legal system.
And then I've seen people go, I want to be married to you.
They go sign some paperwork and then they get divorced within like three or four years and end up losing all this money.
And what's real marriage?
To me, it's mixing your soul with someone.
Whether or not the law is involved, I don't really care.
And then there's the church, which is the whole religious aspect of it.
So I don't know.
That's that's my take on it.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
Look, I'm I'm not telling certainly not telling people how to live their life.
And I and I certainly I mean, for me, I'm not going to have children.
And please, God, I'll meet this guy sooner than later.
I mean, I don't need to marry him in that.
I don't need to have that stable household for my children that I'm not going to have.
Would I like to be married?
Sure, of course.
But right now, I want a partner.
But when we're talking about younger people, especially assuming they want children, marriage, especially for the woman, feels much more secure.
And I get the family law issues.
I think that marriage is something that can create tremendous value for the couple and that commitment, and it is a risky commitment, but commitment is something very powerful.
tim pool
It feels like our society's in a weird hybrid state between traditional, hierarchical, I guess essentialist and constructivist, whereas the woke left are constructivist.
They want a clean slate.
They believe in blank slate.
They get rid of all the old traditions and then have this equity society where men and women are the exact same.
A man can be a woman, you know, whatever.
A woman can be a man.
And then you have the traditional society, which is the man works, the woman raises the kids, you get married.
It's a societal contract between the two parties.
And right now, we're mashed in between these two versions of reality.
It doesn't work.
You can't have some people believing some of these things and some people believing some of these other things.
And because of that, we have a legal structure that disincentivizes the traditional, and it's moving more and more every generation towards the more constructivist.
I say constructivist view as opposed to the essentialist.
For whatever reason, that keeps happening, and it's likely to move in that direction.
That's where it seems we're going.
Now, there have been... Pew put out this data.
Gen Z is ever so slightly more conservative than millennials.
melanie notkin
Yes.
tim pool
But I don't think that's because they're having an awakening or Gen Z realized something was wrong or anything like that, or they're rebelling.
I think it's because conservatives in the previous generation were just more likely to have kids.
So it's not that Gen Z are becoming or, you know, are ideologically more conservative.
There's just more conservative Gen Z ever so slightly.
unidentified
That's interesting.
melanie notkin
Right.
They're the offspring of those more likely to have children.
tim pool
And exactly.
And even then, they're still more progressive than their parents and very much as progressive as millennials, only to a slightly lesser degree.
So you so if that's the case then it seems like we're gonna continually move towards a future where in two or three
generations it's going to be a bunch of
gender neutral shaved heads blue jumpsuits No marriage, you know babies born in pods eat the bugs
unidentified
I hope not Seems like that's where we're going.
melanie notkin
I don't know.
I mean, I think that's the AOC, you know, people shouldn't have children in the environment.
And I mean, this is not, no, I, again, There's something about the human condition that makes us want to find a partner and have children with that partner.
Again, not everybody, not judging anybody, but for the most part, and we know this to be true because for the most part it happens.
So while a woman is marrying later than ever, and she's having her first child later than ever, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want those children.
In fact, The fact that a woman has a child in her late 30s, even early 40s, proves that she's waiting for love.
tim pool
You know what's really interesting about this?
Women having children later and later.
The biological clock of a woman, it's not identical for every single woman.
And so a society that is telling women to wait, or at least there's pressures to make them wait, I wonder what the effect on future generations will be based on these pressures in terms of selection.
If you have a woman, if the average woman can't have kids past say 40 or whatever the age number is, And then, you know, and that's based on a society where women are having kids when they're 20 or 22 or even younger, maybe 18.
Then you start telling women, have kids when you're 40.
What happens is, the women who can do, and the women who can't don't.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
So then the children of those women are more likely to be able to have kids later on in their lives.
I wonder if the result of this might be... I didn't follow that.
So, it's... It's not biologic.
melanie notkin
If they're having a child at age 40 plus, yes, women at age 40 can Have intercourse and get pregnant and have a baby.
But it's not easy and it doesn't always happen.
So it's not a biological thing.
Those women are having their first baby at 40 plus.
Usually there is some help.
tim pool
Well, so what I mean is, if there are 100 women, and based on all of these women in the previous generations, the average age at which they, you know, it's like, here's your lat, 39.
If you don't have a kid by 39, you're probably not gonna have kids.
By telling all these women to wait, I wonder if what would happen is that, say half of the women, as soon as they hit 40, fail to have kids.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
The other half at 40 do have kids.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
Which means the children of those women are also more likely to be able to have kids around the same age because they share similar genetics.
melanie notkin
No, it's not because it's not genetics.
Meaning... First of all, because she's getting part of her genes from her dad as well.
But no, it's not the genetics.
It's every woman has a biological clock.
And to your point, yeah, it could be 39, it could be 41, it could be 35, it could be 23.
I just mean evolution.
tim pool
Right?
Some kind of evolutionary pressure created this time limit.
And that time limit can be changed by creating a pressure for women to have children later and later in life.
melanie notkin
What's happening is that people aren't necessarily telling women to wait.
Women want to... So the women who have their first child at age 35 plus are likely to be college educated.
unidentified
So...
melanie notkin
And we were discussing earlier, they're having trouble finding a man because a man has a choice to marry a woman who isn't college-educated and or is college-educated.
Whatever reason, he can marry somebody.
He has many more choices when it comes to women, plus there are many more college-educated women who want college-educated men, etc.
Women are waiting for love.
They're not waiting because somebody told them to wait, to hold on.
tim pool
I'm not saying that.
I just mean there are societal pressures that exist.
melanie notkin
To what?
tim pool
That times have changed.
It used to be that women had several pressures to have kids at a younger age and get married, you know, just before turning 20 or whatever.
melanie notkin
Well, there isn't any societal pressure.
Maybe that's what it is.
If only there were societal pressure.
I mean, to go back to Jordan Peterson and the, what do we call it?
tim pool
Enforced monogamy?
melanie notkin
Yeah.
Women, you know, Women, especially Gen X and older millennials, sort of understood that, well, if so-and-so, this celebrity, had a baby at 45, had twins, I could do that.
But, of course, it could be donor eggs.
There are many other ways.
Maybe she had frozen her eggs.
I mean, who knows, right?
And it's not really the truth.
So women just didn't have all the information that they needed.
But again, really, I don't know women who are putting off having children when they really want children and they have a partner.
Most of the women who aren't having children at age 35 plus are single.
In fact, 80% of them are single.
They're waiting for love.
I wonder if love is a myth.
No, it's not a myth.
You're in love.
It's not a myth.
Look what it does for you.
tim pool
But can everybody have?
melanie notkin
No!
And that's what sucks.
ian crossland
According to the Greeks, there were seven types of love.
And Eros being one of them, that's physical sexual love.
There's like Agape, which is the love of the community.
There's the love of family, is one of them.
Platonic love, Plato actually.
That was actually an eighth type of love.
Plato was like, it's a love of friendship.
And I could look them up now if we want to talk about each one.
lydia smith
Storks, parents for children.
tim pool
What's it called when you have like, when you have a bunch of cats?
ian crossland
Stork?
Is that what it is?
Love of children?
lydia smith
Yeah.
ian crossland
That's your love.
tim pool
Like a parental love for a child.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Not the creepy kind of love.
melanie notkin
We do need more words for love.
We do need more words for love.
I agree because, well, I don't, I don't need a man because I, you know, I, I love my kids or I love the, well, really?
No, it's actually, I've had women say, well, actually, you know what?
The truth is, like, I feel like a little chunky lately and I don't really want to date.
Like in the end, like women really choose love.
They want to be with a man.
Women generally, you know, heterosexual women love men and they want to be in love and men want to be in love.
tim pool
So these guys gotta start going for walks.
Get off that couch.
Stop playing video games.
No more Mountain Dew or Taco Bell or whatever.
Go for a walk.
Start learning a skill.
ian crossland
You know, and when you cook for your girl, don't ask her what she wants.
Make something you like.
tim pool
No, no, no.
ian crossland
Let her enjoy that with you.
tim pool
Make something really awful and just tell her she has to eat it.
ian crossland
Tim's such a social engineer.
lydia smith
Such solid advice.
melanie notkin
Seriously.
tim pool
We're gonna make Mountain Dew chicken this weekend.
ian crossland
I brought up the seven types of love.
There's Eros, which I mentioned, the romantic, passionate love.
Filia, which is intimate, authentic friendship.
Then there's Ludus, which is a playful, flirtatious love.
Storge, which is unconditional, familial love.
Falacia, which is self-love.
Pragma, which is committed, companionate love.
And Agape, which is the love of the community, empathetic, universal love.
tim pool
Which one of those is like when you have a good dog, you know?
ian crossland
I think it's the love of family.
tim pool
Family?
lydia smith
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
tim pool
And your dog is like a little soldier, like, yes sir!
And like, you know, he runs and like, you know, protects the family and stuff.
melanie notkin
I've heard in otherhood, and I'm forgetting what the number is, but something like there, you know, I heard that there were 19 ways to smile and I'm afraid I'll never know all of them because I've never smiled at him.
I'm a romantic, clearly.
And I love what you're saying, Ian, about the types of love.
And I agree.
And I think, you know, in my otherhood, my book is dedicated to my friends, the family I choose.
I happen to love my family.
But friendship is really important.
All these areas of love.
But the type of love you're talking about, Tim, the type of love that enables you to be all you can be.
Is the best kind of love of all and I hope everybody watching and listening to this finds that love or has that love and cherishes that love.
ian crossland
Is that like when you have all the loves together and like all seven loves you experience with one person and people want that?
Like I don't want to settle for anything less than that.
tim pool
And then you can snap your fingers and wipe out half of all life in the universe?
ian crossland
Yeah, you've gained all the love gems.
tim pool
The infinity love stones?
ian crossland
I think people are holding out for like all the loves but like a lot of times you don't see it unless you love yourself to begin with.
You can't.
You can't love someone else unless you love yourself.
tim pool
You ever see that movie Saving Silverman?
ian crossland
No.
tim pool
It's where like there's three guys and like they're one friend that's dating this woman who really doesn't actually like him.
And then they're like, you don't even love him.
And she's like, there's many kinds of love.
And like, she's a controlling nasty person.
ian crossland
I love that.
tim pool
But then she ends up really liking the crazy, like other friend.
And it's like, I don't know.
I haven't seen that movie.
It's like a 20 year old movie.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
I got the guy from American pioneer.
I think what's that guy's name.
unidentified
And the other guy, Steve's on, I don't know that they want all those loves.
melanie notkin
I mean, all of those loves are great, but you know, a woman actually generally
women choose love over motherhood, however much they want motherhood.
Because love of a husband, your spouse is a, is a different kind of love.
And we don't, we call it romantic love, but.
I feel like we really need a whole new lexicon for this because it's a very powerful love that's very existential.
Not to say that children aren't, but it's a different kind of love.
You love your child and then you set them free if you're doing your job, right?
You prepare them for life.
Your partner should be with you till death do you part.
tim pool
I think I get it.
I think that what guys need to do is maybe like, you know, women are going to want like a rugged man.
So don't shave, you know, get that guy's beard going.
But then they want somebody who's got style.
So maybe get like a nice fedora or something.
But they also want someone who can prove their fighting skills.
So maybe a katana.
lydia smith
Yeah, really big katana.
tim pool
And then maybe like some old school, like gentlemanly, you know, dapper looks like a trench coat, fedora, katana and beard.
And that's exactly what women are into.
And then you can show off your katana skills.
unidentified
You need a fedora, my friend.
melanie notkin
Yeah, I was gonna say beanie works too.
tim pool
I mean, I think, you know... Yeah, don't do the katana trench coat thing.
lydia smith
They're gonna take your advice seriously, I'm scared.
tim pool
There's a lot of people who already do that.
That's the joke.
lydia smith
It's the fedora tipping.
melanie notkin
But no, women do like generally masculine men.
And that doesn't mean that they're toxic.
There was an episode of Girls, which I know must be your favorite show.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
lydia smith
The best.
melanie notkin
I mean, you know, everything.
tim pool
Lena Dunham.
melanie notkin
I mean, wow.
Wow.
So I Sort of cringe watched it, but I watched it and sort of like, because I want to understand all this culture and this, you know, millennial group and, you know, her whole line was, you know, she was the voice of the generation.
So the last scene of season two, sorry if I'm going to ruin for you, it's only eight years old or whatever.
She's going through some sort of mental breakdown, legit.
And she and her ex-boyfriend, on it, gone, on again, off again, Adam Driver character is her guy, and she texts him something.
And they were apart at this point.
And you see him jump up, run down the stairs, they're in Brooklyn, New York, down the stairs, down the subway, back up the subway, around the block, running, running, I mean, this whole thing, right?
And he runs up the stairs somehow, I don't forget how he gets into her apartment, picks her up in his arms.
The end.
If that's not Prince Charming, I don't know what is.
tim pool
Yeah, but you know, these movies and shows where, like, take a look at, like, your trope of romantic comedy.
The guy, like, goes to the woman's house or, like, plays the boombox outside of her window, that guy's gonna get arrested real quick.
Like, these romantic comedies, a guy who does that goes to jail, and he's called creepy.
There was a video that, like, I mentioned the 10 hours of walking through New York as a woman thing, where, like, one guy's like, how's it going?
And they're like, so creepy.
There's a viral video right now where, like, a young girl is sitting at a table streaming, and a guy just, like, tries talking to her, and it's really awkward.
And everyone's acting like it was the apocalypse, like this guy was a creep, and I'm like, dude, it's just some awkward guy.
The girl was a little young, man, that guy probably shouldn't have done that, and that is an issue.
But I was thinking, just like, there's a big stigma around literally talking to a woman in public, period.
So, how was there supposed to be some romantic... I guess, you know, Mad Magazine said it best.
Mad Magazine, a long time ago... Have you guys ever read A Mad Look At?
I don't even know if Mad Magazine still exists.
I used to read that a lot.
melanie notkin
It doesn't, but I loved it, yeah.
tim pool
They had A Mad Look At, and it was a series of comics talking about a certain idea.
One of them, it was a mad look at public displays of affection.
It was hilarious.
The first panel was like this tall chiseled man with a suit and a beautiful woman and she's got her leg up as he's leaning into her and kissing her and everyone around is going like, aww.
The next one was the same thing, but a morbidly obese bald man and a big fat woman and everyone was angry and, you know, kind of pissed off.
So the fact of the matter is, and this is an obvious trope that exists on the internet and especially in the incel forums, If you're a weird-looking guy, or you're short and scraggly with a weird voice, you can't say these things to women.
But a tall, chiseled, handsome man, tall, dark, and handsome, well, he can walk up to a woman and he can say a lot of things.
And they'll swoon.
If it's a nasty guy, they'll belch.
Not belch, they'll cringe or vomit.
And then you'll get in trouble.
melanie notkin
But that would be rude.
So, that woman doesn't deserve you, if a woman does that.
So, x-nay on those women anyway.
Here's the thing about men, the secret power of a man.
The secret power of a man is, it's all in the personality.
Be decisive, be thoughtful, be fun.
That's all you gotta do.
ian crossland
I would have, along those lines, you were talking about that text and that fantasy show.
Don't, if you're anybody, boy or girl, and you want to, you want to communicate love to someone, don't do it through text.
Maybe send a sentence here and there, but it's in the delivery.
Like you just said, if you want to express your love to someone, do it with your vibration, with your words, with your, the sound of your, you know.
tim pool
I would agree with you, Ian, but I do think that sometimes text can be appropriate.
Like maybe you send like an eggplant emoji and then the water droplets and then the peach emoji.
lydia smith
It works so well.
tim pool
And that will convey your emotions perfectly.
ian crossland
There's a time and place.
melanie notkin
Yeah, right.
As in, yeah, I'll do it.
ian crossland
But walls of text, don't do it.
I don't know if kids, if younger culture understands because of the text, social media text culture, but it is not the way to communicate emotions in my opinion.
tim pool
That's why you gotta do emojis.
ian crossland
Emojis only.
tim pool
Yeah, like the skull face when you're laughing.
lydia smith
Yes.
tim pool
That's what they do.
unidentified
Okay.
ian crossland
I avoid text almost.
tim pool
Crazy kids these days, they use the skull instead of the laughing face.
ian crossland
I tried to navigate relationships through text and I just destroyed my 30s basically in my late 20s.
So now I've kind of sworn it off.
If I get a text and I get agitated, I just set the phone down and ignore it.
And then I figure if I see them again, I'll talk to them.
melanie notkin
That's a good idea.
ian crossland
That's smart.
melanie notkin
I like that.
tim pool
So what do you think about these dating apps?
Because one of the things I've brought up before is that when women were in, you know, before dating apps, before websites for dating, a man and a woman in college together, their dating pool was the same dating pool for the most part.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
20-year-old woman has the same social circle as a 20-year-old man.
So the likelihood of her dating someone within her age range and at the college is high.
With dating apps, the likelihood that she's now going to pull up an app and find a 35-year-old guy who's got a convertible in an infinity pool infinitely higher.
And so it's very simple.
It's not that the woman doesn't like the guy at her school.
It's just that she gets two text messages.
One's the 20-year-old guy who's in her class and says, hey, we're going to go sit in the train tracks and like drink 40s.
And then the other message she gets is from the guy who's like, hey, I'm going to take the convertible down for a spin and go to the beach and look at the stars.
And which one is she going to pick?
Women have preferences. So maybe someone will I rather take the 40, but I think there's a tendency because the wealthier
guy The established guy has more opportunities for fun and
excitement and adventure. Yeah Sure.
These college women are more likely to choose that.
It's just opened up the world for them.
And it's allowed these older guys to get access to younger women in ways they couldn't before.
melanie notkin
Sure.
tim pool
So that means that guys who are, you know, college age right now, Gen Z, they're
going to struggle in the same way, in a similar way to millennials in that 20 year old.
I was talking to a guy a couple years ago.
He was like 24, and he was a virgin.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
And he had no idea what to do.
unidentified
Right.
tim pool
Because no matter what, the women weren't interested in dating him.
He was a normal guy.
He wasn't a creepy weirdo.
He was like a regular guy.
And I was like, bro, I guess at this point you just gotta like walk up to somebody and say hello.
I'd like to, you know, nice to meet ya.
I live in the area or something like that.
And he's like, you can't do that.
You're like, you're a creep if you do that.
melanie notkin
So, okay.
Please keep coaching him.
tim pool
I don't think so.
I think you'll end up on Twitter with someone filming you, calling you a creep.
melanie notkin
I don't remember his name.
So any guy like that, because really that's just an excuse.
Cause he's too shy to go over cause he doesn't want to be rejected.
tim pool
I don't think so.
I think you'll end up on Twitter with someone filming you, calling you a creep.
They'll post your picture on Instagram and say this creepo was harassing me.
They get points for it.
melanie notkin
That's very sad.
tim pool
Yeah, they get views, they get likes, they get subscribers.
melanie notkin
But those women are gonna be alone then, so that's very sad.
tim pool
But I think that, I mean, look, I'd imagine the average woman would not do that.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
Probably just be like, I'm flattered, have a nice day.
But the landmines are there.
melanie notkin
No, sure, the landmines are there for everybody.
We're all afraid of something we're gonna say, something we're gonna tweet, something we're gonna write, something we're gonna say on your podcast, your YouTube show.
But we've got to take risks in life because we don't move forward without taking risks.
And in fact, risk-taking men are attractive to women.
Again, because they make decisions.
Okay, I may fail, but I'm going to try.
I'm going to do it.
And that is actually very attractive.
No woman, not every woman is going to be attracted to every man.
I mean, a man can come to me at a party and kind of say he's interested and I kind of, I don't, find him a, you know, whatever, he's not for me.
I'm not going to be rude to him, but it doesn't mean I have to date him.
He may get rejected.
I could do the same thing to a guy where I'm not necessarily going up to him, hey dude, But you know, that flirtation, you start talking and then I could sort of see he's looking over my shoulder, which is not so hard because I'm little, and just not be interested in me.
And that'll hurt my ego for a second and then I'll move on.
You know, dating isn't easy.
You have to take risks.
And when you take those risks, you're going to end up with probably a woman that you really want to be with because that's the woman you were waiting for and you risked a lot for and you got rejected for a lot.
You know, people, well, why do these guys, like, they're not cute or whatever it is.
They always like, you know, hit on the women.
Well, yeah, because they're used to rejection.
What's one more?
The good looking guy, you know, with everything going for him, he's rarely rejected.
So when he sees a woman he really likes, he's too shy to go up to her because he doesn't want to feel rejected because he's not used to that.
tim pool
There's another, I guess you'd call it a trope, that attractive women are less likely to actually get hit on randomly because guys will assume they don't have a chance, so they won't bother, and they'll go for women who are lower in the ranking in their minds, like less attractive.
They'll see a woman, they're like, wow, she's a nine.
She would never go for me.
That woman's a seven.
I'll try and hit on her.
melanie notkin
And I don't understand why you're still single.
I mean, you're gorgeous.
You're doing so well in life.
I mean, I don't know.
Well, because the guys didn't ask me out.
I mean, I'm not talking about me specifically.
But like, you know, yeah, well, that's why we have so many women do so well.
Well, I mean, she's not going to say yes to me, you know.
Well, in fact, guys, give it a shot again.
Women want to know that they're admired, that they're liked, that they're being courted, that somebody's interested in them.
Show you're interested.
It's actually really attractive.
And yeah, it doesn't mean all the time you're going to get the right feedback that you want.
Okay, you move on.
ian crossland
I went through when I was kind of going through that phase where I stopped talking to really hot girls, not stop talking to them, but I wouldn't hit on them or like try and get together with them because I thought they probably get hit on all the time.
So I don't want to be one of those guys.
So I would just completely, and it'd be girls I really was attracted to, but I wouldn't.
Cause I was like, I'm not going to contribute to that toxic masculine.
I was like, you know, 2007.
Feminist propaganda, Ian.
unidentified
It was.
melanie notkin
I've had two guys in my life who I really liked who, like, you know, five, ten, whatever years later, you know, like, I really liked you, but I was just a little too, I just didn't, I didn't ask you out or what?
And I was just dying for them to ask me out.
Right?
So guys, take a chance.
Ask the woman out, please.
ian crossland
Yeah.
tim pool
The worst case scenario is that you end up on some Reddit where they're blasting your face, calling you a creepo.
ian crossland
Out of context.
unidentified
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Likely all of us in this room have been in a Reddit conversation like that.
We are still here to talk about it.
tim pool
Oh, yeah.
I mean, me, like, every day.
It's hilarious.
melanie notkin
So now you have something to talk about on the date.
tim pool
They're going to take... This is going to be one of the best episodes for the grifters because there's so much to take out of context.
It's brilliant.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
That's why I said... You're welcome.
When we were talking about, you know, the women struggling to find men who make as much money as them.
Like, when I did, like, two segments, In like two days, because there was another story that came
out of similar that was similar.
Feminist Twitter exploded. And the funniest thing about it is that these single women working for,
you know, these news outlets immediately went for attacks on my masculinity, saying, you know,
just insulting me and insulting things that I guess would be offensive to someone based on
stereotypical masculinity or whatever. And I just like, I'm laughing. My friends are like,
so these other YouTubers like messaging me, sending me the screenshots and we're like,
just laughing, crying. It's hilarious. Because I don't think they realize that like,
I don't, I, I, I don't care.
If I cared, I wouldn't make YouTube videos.
Heaven forbid someone who actually cared about being made fun of on the internet would actually put themselves out on the internet.
I guess there's a lot of people who work for these news outlets, particularly feminists and leftists, who can't handle it.
It's like, dude, if you don't want to be a public figure, don't do it.
Man, I chose to do all this.
I find it hilarious.
melanie notkin
What are they possibly putting down about your masculinity?
tim pool
No, they just do things like, they do this to everybody.
They'll be like, you can't get laid, and they'll say, you know, like, just, you know, things like that.
melanie notkin
Because I met your girlfriend, and she's gorgeous.
And a body.
I'm saying.
Okay.
I'm not worried about you and your masculinity.
tim pool
But I don't care.
melanie notkin
No, I know you don't care, but it makes... Look, this is their content.
This is what they do, whether they're paid for it or not.
This is the type of content that they like to write about.
This is what they know.
And it's heartbreaking for me because I want them to be loved by a man, and I want them to love a man.
tim pool
They say incel, right?
So one of my favorites is... Are you familiar with Carl Benjamin?
melanie notkin
I don't think so.
tim pool
Carl Benjamin of the Lotus Eaters podcast, by the way.
He's anti-identitarian.
He used to make a lot of anti-feminist videos.
And they call him an incel all the time.
A direct attack on his masculinity.
He's like, haha, you can't get laid.
He's married.
He has children.
Same thing with Ben Shapiro.
They're like, Ben Shapiro's an insult.
He's like, he's got how many kids does he have now?
melanie notkin
Three?
Yeah, right.
tim pool
What are we talking about?
I don't think Ben Shapiro is insulted by your attacks on his masculinity.
He's got a wife who's a doctor, by the way.
melanie notkin
I heard.
tim pool
Yes, and he has three kids.
So why do... It's really interesting that they do this.
That, like, one of the attack vectors for this particular ideology is... Maybe it's a caricature.
You know, they constantly say there's toxic masculinity and these men are toxically masculine.
So because of that, they think men will be insulted if you challenge their masculinity or, like, maleness or whatever you want to call it.
melanie notkin
They could be projecting.
Yeah.
You know, in general, Millennials and Gen Z are not having, certainly Gen Z, they're not having sex as much as Gen X. And I don't, not referring about me because I wasn't either, but in general, they're not having a lot of sex, partly because they are just on the apps or they're too lazy to actually get off the couch instead of sex, actually have real sex.
I am sure I'm, I don't know.
I'm not a man.
I'm sure that it's much more satisfying for a man to actually have sex with a woman than to sext her from his couch.
tim pool
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Right?
unidentified
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Chances are.
Right.
So I look.
Women, as much as women talk about that, you know, they want to have sex like men, they just oh, they're going to they're just going to hook up the hookup thing.
Truth is, women don't really want to have sex like that.
Most women do not want that.
It doesn't feel good.
to you know for a guy just get out of bed okay well thanks women have all these chemicals that
are floating around that make them feel sort of depressed afterward if they don't feel that
connection long lasting way so it could be actually that they're projecting but whatever
it is it just seems like they um they're talking about the things that they want most and that
fear is stopping them from getting what they want I think it's projection.
tim pool
Uh, there was a story that came out, I think about a year ago that I can't remember what it was, but it was like the amount of men under the age of 29 that were virgins, like skyrocketed by like 30 something percent.
And it was like 15% or so for women, meaning women were still able to get laid, but not with men who were 29 and younger.
And so a lot of these socialist types and woke leftist types who are active on Twitter are younger.
One of the things that's come up in conversation with some of these individuals on this show is that we realize they're in their early 20s, they're in their mid-20s, they don't have the same political experience.
So when we're having conversations about war and conflict and taxes, they're like, I don't know Occupy Wall Street, I was 15 years old or whatever.
And it's like, oh, interesting.
And there's things about the 90s that I don't know because I
unidentified
Right.
tim pool
wasn't, you know, I was a little kid back then.
So somebody tell me about Clinton and all that stuff if they're older.
So a lot of these people on Twitter who are like democratic socialists,
who, and they're not all in their twenties, but there's a high
likelihood that they're all virgins.
And because of that, they feel particularly insecure.
Because that makes them feel bad, they think saying it to me makes me feel bad.
Or Ben Shapiro, who's got children.
The hardest proof of not being an incel, literally, conception.
But they're hurt by it.
So they use it thinking it'll hurt you.
melanie notkin
And it's one thing to say, oh, well, you're probably a virgin, still virgin, like you sound like you're in high school or something.
I mean, just that tone of voice.
Not that high schoolers are... many high schoolers, I hope, are virgins.
But incel, which is like a dark version of virgin.
Version of virgin.
tim pool
Meaning... They're not necessarily virgins.
melanie notkin
Right.
They just decide that they don't, they're not involuntarily, involuntarily.
tim pool
So something happened where they're unable and it can become really, really dark.
And it can be, a lot of these people could be outwardly dark or inwardly, meaning some of these people blame society and blame everybody else.
And some of these people blame themselves and think they're just wrong and ugly and incapable.
melanie notkin
Yeah, well, yeah.
And we were talking about girls who really are are mean to other girls, social media.
You know, because toxic masculinity is a man, you know, punching a woman.
Toxic femininity is our girls sort of bad mouthing each other or being passive aggressive and not liking the photo.
You know, like girls are mean in other ways.
But the fact that they're mean to men as sort of like a why are you doing this?
Don't you have other things to do?
Like this is not a productive thing to do with your life.
So yeah, guys get off the couch.
tim pool
Get off Twitter.
melanie notkin
Get off Twitter, get off everything.
And go ask a woman out on a date.
tim pool
Here's the trick.
Do you have a dog?
unidentified
No.
tim pool
Okay, if you're a guy, you need a dog.
Here's what you do.
You go down to the beach, you have the dog, and there are some women, and they're hanging out, and then, oh no, the dog!
Oh, he got off the leash!
Oh, Rufus!
I'm so sorry.
He just loves people.
What's your name?
Hi, I'm Tim.
Nice to meet you.
This is Rufus.
melanie notkin
Correct.
This is how you do it.
Guys, for the most part, women are not going to destroy you if you ask them out, if you flirt with them.
And you know what?
You should know, if a woman doesn't seem like she's interested, move on, right?
Don't harass her.
I mean, we have to understand that.
But also, women Like if a guy is, if you think he's interesting, at least for a conversation, like don't, don't decide you have to marry him.
If you go on a date with him, it's okay.
And by the way, dating is fun.
Gosh, you get to go out with somebody you've never met until recently, and you get to learn about them.
You likely you'll learn a little bit about yourself.
Maybe you'll have a nice glass of wine if you're Lovely, you won't be upset if he actually points to how about this bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and you go on from there.
Enjoy life.
This is life.
Enjoy it.
tim pool
I got some advice for people who feel like they're stuck in a rut.
Go to a MMA training gym.
Well, maybe it's not good advice because I don't know much about MMA training gyms, but you can go to like a martial arts gym.
I used to live near one.
And maybe you're out of shape.
Maybe you're a homebody who plays video games.
You're lost.
You don't know what to do.
I assure you, if you walk into one of these places and say, I feel lost.
I lay around playing video games.
I want to do better.
These guys in there are going to be like, Dude, let me show you how to throw a punch.
Come here, join the crew, we're gonna make you, and it's gonna be a whole lot of fun.
For me, skateboarding was always this, I would just show up, everyone's having a good time, you meet people, you'll be sitting down, but then I'll tell you this, whatever it is you choose to do in terms of physical activity and community and making yourself better, some kind of physical exercise, You're going to encounter that challenge.
So for me, skateboarding, right?
You want to drop in on this big vert wall.
It's scary.
You're freaking out.
I assure you, you fall down from like your first six foot drop in and hit the ground and you're sore and you're okay though.
When you're out at the park and you see, you know, a woman or whatever, you're going to be like, I just took a face full of, you know, concrete.
Someone telling me have a nice day is no big deal.
So you build that companionship through community by going to some kind of gym and just sticking with it.
I assure you, man, most people at these places are super excited to get people involved and help them out.
Yeah.
And most people are good people.
And then you build confidence in yourself by accomplishing something and improving yourself.
And then you can be calm and polite and go and meet people, whether it's a guy or a woman
or just to be friends or to find a relationship.
unidentified
It just starts with that first step.
melanie notkin
Get that job you want.
Start that company you want.
Women too.
And if you're not ready to go to the gym because of COVID, and just there are so many free
YouTube videos, amazing stuff out there.
Just start.
Weight training is really good.
It's good for cognition.
It's good for how you feel.
unidentified
Just start moving and let it go.
tim pool
The big thing is being at the gym with other people.
melanie notkin
Totally.
tim pool
Because they're the ones who are going to like, one day you don't show up and you're gonna get a phone call and they'll be like, bro.
melanie notkin
Accountability.
unidentified
What are you doing?
melanie notkin
Accountability is huge.
I actually have two girlfriends I met at the gym.
I was going to the gym before COVID at 6am every morning.
Had these two girlfriends and we became friends.
Then this happened.
So we would text each other.
What I'm doing, I found this, this class online.
I found this.
Now I've got these people I used to, you know, do, we were in a co-work space together.
Now we accountability.
Every day we say, okay, just did 40 minutes cardio.
Oh, I just did yoga.
I just, you know, wait.
Okay.
And we give each other literally the star emoji because that's cool.
So, but accountability is really good.
So find yourself accountability friend, accountability coach, somebody who you can check in with and they don't have to be better than you at whatever it is.
Just a buddy.
ian crossland
That's a good point.
I was playing music, was mine, and singing, because I would get ripped.
My core would get ripped.
When you're hitting high notes, like Brandon Boyd from Incubus, when you're doing that, you get powerfully muscular in your core.
But the confidence doesn't come until you have a communication friend, like a drummer.
When you're in a band, You're exhausted and you're interacting with someone.
Then when you see a girl, you just do the same thing you've been doing.
You're not stressed because you've already figured it out.
But when I was alone singing, I would still be stressed because I didn't have the communication friend.
melanie notkin
Right.
But that's why we need a partner.
ian crossland
Shows are similar.
tim pool
Book a show and then you're standing in front of, you know, 70 strangers and you're like, oh man, you gotta do it.
melanie notkin
Sure.
But in that point about you and the drummer, right?
That's, you're better at you when somebody else is in your life.
When somebody else, you know, you need that connection.
You need that energy back and forth.
And I'm sure the drummer felt great because as you're singing and he's going or she's going, I mean, that's what creates Amazing music and amazing connections.
Amazing relationships.
tim pool
Somebody just chatted eggplant, water droplets, peach, and get it, Ian.
unidentified
Speaking my language.
tim pool
All right, let's take super chats.
If you haven't already, please smash that like button because it really does help the channel.
And go to TimCast.com, become a member to get access to a massive library of exclusive segments.
You know, for a lot of the members-only stuff, we do have conversations that are very evergreen.
Talking with people about old war stories or old journalism stories or religion a lot of talk about religion faith and DMT and stuff and like because I think we're all very much interested in like What else is out there?
So that's all available at Timcast.com click the big members only button on the right you can sign up We got major upgrades coming to the site soon, so thank you all for being members and again smash the like button Let's read some of these super chats We got a bunch of super chats because I think everybody has an opinion.
I can't read the name of this first super chat because YouTube blocks it for some reason.
They said, Hey Tim, I'm having trouble with my math homework.
Hope you can help.
If man plus explain equals mansplaining, then woman plus complain equals ovary acting.
Is that right?
That's correct.
lydia smith
Yes.
tim pool
It's, it's, uh, it's, it's femsplaining.
melanie notkin
Yeah, FemmeSplainer.
tim pool
FemmeSplainer, yeah.
melanie notkin
Yeah, that's a podcast with Danielle Crittenton and Christina Hoff Summers, who not do that.
unidentified
Do I see?
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
They embrace it.
melanie notkin
They do.
tim pool
There's also, you know, you know those men spreading?
melanie notkin
Yes.
tim pool
Femme bagging.
melanie notkin
Oh, interesting, with all their bags.
tim pool
Yeah, when women put their bags on seats and block them and then don't move it.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
There was a really funny post by Aaron Rupar from Vox.
I guess he's mad that Ron DeSantis sat with his legs spread in a chair that he was socially distancing.
I'm like, I don't care if he puts his leg over his head, you know, put his foot behind his head.
He's in a chair six foot away from anybody else.
Why?
melanie notkin
Yeah, why can't he be comfortable?
ian crossland
I'm sitting cross-legged right now.
tim pool
It's a nice stretch.
You know what the funny thing is about all of these like, but I guess it's mostly feminists who are like, why do men sit with their legs open?
And then male feminists who are just trying to like placate this woman are like, I know, right?
These guys are so dumb.
And I'm like, come on, bro.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
You don't like sitting like that.
I know it.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
I guess you got tiny balls.
Whatever.
melanie notkin
Right.
Yeah.
tim pool
That's the weirdest thing that guys would openly admit that.
The real reason, though, is Q angle, the hip ratio to legs.
So, you know, women have their have wider hips, so their legs kind of go there.
The femur goes inward, whereas men have narrower hips, so their legs go out and are more comfortable.
It has to do with the thigh muscles, but also, you know, junk.
melanie notkin
It's not the patriarchy trying to take our space.
ian crossland
That's true.
tim pool
No, yeah, that's not true.
ian crossland
That was a question.
tim pool
But think about the mentality people have where they genuinely believe guys sit with their legs open to just oppress them.
Like a guy sits down and he's like, and he like opens his legs.
Haha, women, you have to be pushed now.
And they're like, he's pushing his legs against me.
You can just be like, excuse me, you can move your legs and they'll be like, sorry about that.
melanie notkin
Hmm.
tim pool
All right.
Tripsuck says, my parents don't get it.
Bitcoin and Ethereum will be like Visa and Mastercard someday.
I wish I could have bought Timcoin when I started watching you in 2015.
It'd be worth millions now.
Timcoin?
ian crossland
Yeah, it's coming.
tim pool
I don't know about that.
Maybe though, um, not Tim coin, but we were talking about, so we want to do this, you know, well, you're working on the open source project versus expansion.
Yeah.
Creating like a subscription plugin for people to have their own version of, of, of like an, like a subscription service and integrating it with crypto so that existing social media sites that use crypto could automate subscription services through that.
So yeah, it's an idea.
All right, let's see.
What do we got?
Ooh, Count Dankula.
What's he doing?
Toggle447 says, Count Dankula is running for legislation across the pond.
He's going to be on two separate ballots.
Just figured I'd inform you.
He's running for legislation?
What does that mean?
lydia smith
He's running for a position.
I don't know what position.
tim pool
Interesting.
He should win.
Virik says, there is a German word for the banality of evil.
Amtsprach.
Translating as bureaucratic language.
lydia smith
Indeed.
tim pool
Ah.
Meaning company policy or orders from above.
World War II criminal Adolf Eichmann used this term saying it made our jobs easy.
Wow, that's creepy.
Rogue Nerd Lifestyle says, hey, what you're doing is really important.
I saw the video on inflation.
Can I suggest you talk to Mike Maloney?
He has a series called Hidden Secrets of Money that drives into monetary history.
So this is way off the conversation, but have you guys been seeing what's going on with the inflation lately?
ian crossland
No.
tim pool
Not just inflation, but shortages.
So for those that are watching, we ordered a new machine for this show, a new computer.
It's delayed.
Why?
There's a shortage or certain parts are unavailable, so we have to wait.
Lumber is up 250% in cost.
unidentified
Yes.
tim pool
Steel is skyrocketing.
Yes.
If you had $10 worth of lumber, I think in like November last year, it's worth $60 right now.
Jeez!
Six times.
Yeah.
So imagine if you bought Bitcoin in November when it was at $15k, it's at $57k now.
Wow.
That's not necessarily a good thing for people holding Bitcoin.
The people who are holding Bitcoin, their buying power stayed the same.
The people who are holding U.S.
dollars are seeing their ability to buy collapse.
That's freaky.
Now, Ethereum!
Woo!
Remember we had Bill here from Bill for Mines, Bill Lemon?
And he was like, I don't know if he said it on the show or at some point he was like, you should get Ethereum.
And I was like, okay.
And so I did.
And now it's at $2,700.
unidentified
It's just getting started.
tim pool
I'm not giving anybody advice on what they should or shouldn't buy.
I will mention too, I don't know what's gonna happen with precious metals, but I definitely have precious metals.
And I'm glad I do.
ian crossland
I like copper.
I like it because it's so cheap, and it's amazing.
tim pool
You can do stuff with it.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Yeah, so I bought silver, copper, and gold.
More copper than anything, but that's just because, like, your worst case scenario is you can do stuff with it.
ian crossland
Yeah, hammer it down, make plates out of it, make wiring out of it.
lydia smith
Useful, yeah.
ian crossland
Make a crown.
tim pool
All right.
Tin Man says, First time Super Chat.
I appreciate what you do, but going off the rails and suggest a book.
X-Heroes.
Superheroes vs. Zombies novel by Peter Clines.
It's Superheroes, Zombies, and Zombie Superheroes.
Cool.
melanie notkin
But are there zombies and superheroes involved in the book?
See, this is what boys like to write.
Read, rather.
So let's suggest this for boys.
tim pool
I wonder if that is one of the big issues with like woke movies when it's the hero's journey.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
Right.
So maybe it's something that for whatever reason young men long for to be a run-of-the-mill moisture farmer on, you know, what planet was Tatooine?
And then all of a sudden the old wizard's like, it's your father's lightning lightsaber and you're actually a magic warrior and it's
like, whoa, now we're going on an adventure.
And the reason I think that works is also the reason why I think X-Men worked.
When I was growing up, the story of X-Men is like, you know, as soon as the kids hit around 13 years old, they
develop superpowers.
And so as a kid, you're like, oh man, it would be so cool to
like all of a sudden find out you have superpowers, wow.
So the kids can relate to this.
Well, not relate to it, but in a sense relate to it.
melanie notkin
Yeah, they can alter ego.
tim pool
But now you have these movies like Captain Marvel where like who relates to that?
To like robbing a guy in his motorcycle.
You know, I don't know if you saw the movie.
melanie notkin
No.
tim pool
But it was just not a hero's journey in any capacity.
Like so there was a great comparison someone did between Captain America and Captain Marvel.
Captain America was the scrawny Brooklyn kid who had all these defects and couldn't get in the army and then shows like good moral character and gets a super soldier serum and becomes great.
Whereas Captain Marvel was a hotshot pilot who just was accidentally got superpowers and then was kind of a dick about it, you know.
Alright, Smoothplay Johnny J says, Hey Tim, I am a financial advisor and recommend the following.
If you're going to make a major purchase in the next few years, take the funds out of your investment now while the markets are still high.
Interesting.
That comes from Smoothplay, not me.
He is the financial advisor, he says.
American Capitalist says, The treatment of boys is a piece to the puzzle.
But so many of these experts have a good grasp on one issue and aren't seeing the big picture.
The big picture on a societal scale is far worse than most realize.
melanie notkin
And what is it?
tim pool
That was it.
melanie notkin
That was it.
Well, all right.
tim pool
The food.
unidentified
Oh.
tim pool
Rushless Leader says, having children for a man is too much of a risk because if a man is not ready for a child, they want to pay child support, whereas a woman doesn't have that.
They do, but it's not as typical.
Women do have to pay child support.
I think it was Russell Brand divorced Katy Perry.
Is that what happened?
Yeah.
And he was entitled to, like, a ton of money.
He's like, I don't want any of her money.
I'm rich.
You know what I mean?
unidentified
Right.
tim pool
It's like, I don't need it.
ian crossland
Dude, he's a sage.
tim pool
Russell Brand?
ian crossland
Yeah.
tim pool
He's all right.
He's cool, dude.
I like him.
I think he's I, I, you know, I think he's, I think he's a good dude, but he's not rusty as his name would suggest.
Ryan Pujoi says, I think the real issue is not that men aren't driven per se.
I think the issue is that because of these laws, more men just don't see what they will get out of a family sense.
The price of, since the price of divorce can be too high.
melanie notkin
Right.
tim pool
Right.
melanie notkin
But, but we did talk about all, all the reasons why you love Allison.
tim pool
So.
Aman Ra Al Ghul says, going through a divorce currently with a feminist that took advantage of my weak mental state before I went through therapy in dealing with PTSD for more.
I'm scared for my daughter's maturation.
What we had, um, we had a guy on the show, like one of our first guests, actually.
lydia smith
Yeah, we need to have him back.
unidentified
What was his name?
lydia smith
Sean Smith.
tim pool
Sean Smith.
And he said, don't date feminists.
lydia smith
Yep.
tim pool
And we were like, really?
And it's one of our most viewed videos.
unidentified
Evergreen.
tim pool
Evergreen.
That's right.
lydia smith
Wise.
tim pool
All right, we got some criticism for you.
Jay Rich says, Tim, love your show.
However, steam is coming out of my ears listening to Melanie's third wave feminist propaganda.
Please get Rolo Tomasi or Rich Cooper on the show and have the same conversation with them.
Maybe it would be interesting to have somewhat of a different opinion and we could have a fuller conversation.
melanie notkin
Happy to, but I think I'm not the third.
I mean, I don't know why.
I think I'm sort of saying the opposite stuff.
Like I'm saying the more traditional stuff.
I'm not saying the feminist stuff.
I'm saying I love men.
I think women want to have children.
tim pool
I mean, I'm But not fourth wave feminism, which is like the men are bad and the patriarchy.
Third wave.
There's a lot of waves, I guess.
melanie notkin
I don't know any waves.
tim pool
There's four.
melanie notkin
I don't know.
ian crossland
What's the first wave?
tim pool
Women should vote.
unidentified
Yeah.
ian crossland
And then what's second wave?
tim pool
Women should work.
melanie notkin
60s, 70s.
The Gloria Stein and Betty Friedan.
By the way, Betty Friedan, who wrote The Feminine Mystique, which is really like the book that kind of set off the feminist movement.
She actually, in her second edition, had to say, OK, but no, no, I didn't mean in lieu of.
Love, marriage and children.
I meant added value.
We could live to our potential and, you know, love your husband and have children.
It was like, but it became no, no, no.
It's let's just eschew love, marriage and motherhood and go for the career, which was not what she meant by it.
And kind of what happened at the end of the 60s is the sort of decisive idea of no, no, women need to be men.
unidentified
or like men and that's how women will smash the patriarchy and meanwhile but the truth is most women want love and partnership marriage and children not all but some most we got a correction here for me ill machiner says al loved his family every time he got the chance to run off with a model he chose his family Yeah, I watched Married with Children when I was little, obviously not understanding a whole lot of it, like remember No Ma'am?
tim pool
Where all the guys would wear the shirts that says No Ma'am and it was like, I forget what it was, like the feminist symbol with like a line through it or something?
No Ma'am!
And he, my understanding of it, the message I got, was not that he chose his family because he loved them, it was because of like guilt and like he was a coward.
It was just a really awful show.
ian crossland
He was so mean to his wife.
tim pool
Yeah, they both were mean to each other.
This is an awful show about dysfunctional families.
It's really funny how you used to have, like, Leave It to Beaver.
This wholesome family where they ate way too much for breakfast.
Like, massive stack of pancakes.
What are you gonna do, throw that all away?
I guess business was a booming back in the day.
And then it's like we got in the 90s, dysfunctional families.
I will say Malcolm in the Middle was legit.
Because they were dysfunctional, but they all really did love each other.
lydia smith
They were great.
tim pool
Yeah, that show was good.
melanie notkin
I love them.
Well, of course, my gender, well, in the 70s, 80s, well, we had one day at a time, divorced mom, two teenage girls.
We had Kate and Allie, two divorced women who lived together with their daughters.
In the 70s, girls saw that women, you know, were divorced because the husband usually ran off with the quote-unquote secretary, and they had to take care of the kids, and so they were living life one day at a time.
So it was this sort of feminist view that we can do it on our own.
I don't know.
I'm sure that that had a lot of effect on the way that women grew up knowing they could do it on their own.
But again, I and also the women sometimes married in order to leave their their parents house because they couldn't earn enough money to pay rent at all.
I don't know.
I think that certainly cultural, what we saw on TV, has an effect on the way kids think about their future.
ian crossland
These video games, too.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
ian crossland
I mean, talk about the hero's journey and indoctrinating people to think there's an enemy to kill or slay out there and that everything's going to be okay once they do it.
tim pool
Now, we did have that criticism, but this one.
Caleb W. says, Guest is based AF.
Family law is moving forward through myself and three of my friends have won custody of our children in GA because we provide a better life for the child.
I don't know about other states.
Also got my Tim Foyle hat gorilla shirt.
It's super soft.
Aren't they super soft?
unidentified
Yes.
tim pool
It's amazing.
Now, some people have asked about, like, taking care of it because, you know, the shirts, the way many shirts are printed.
They don't last that long.
I'm not entirely sure about these shirts because I've had no problems with them.
They're actually really nice.
But I guess you're supposed to wash them inside out, is that correct?
lydia smith
That is correct, yes.
tim pool
Wash them inside out, there you go.
melanie notkin
When in doubt, wash inside out.
tim pool
Dragon Noodle Soup Gaming says, Hey Melanie, you might get a lot from going onto Honey Badger Radio, a prominent MRA group.
I'm sure Brian Martinez and Allison Tiemann would love to have you on.
melanie notkin
Yeah, well, so when do I get canceled?
lydia smith
I think you're okay.
melanie notkin
I'm okay?
unidentified
Okay.
melanie notkin
Yeah, I think you'll be all right.
unidentified
Okay.
melanie notkin
All right.
tim pool
Steel Fang says Cinderella didn't go to the ball to find a prince.
She went to get away from her crappy life.
Prince can help her do that, I guess.
But yeah.
melanie notkin
Well, I mean, no, she went because he was there, because didn't she?
In any case, the point is, if she didn't get married, she would not have a future.
ian crossland
Yeah, she went, the fairy godmother turned her into a princess for a night.
Into a pumpkin.
unidentified
Yes.
ian crossland
No, that was after the night was over.
melanie notkin
No, she did turn into a pumpkin.
ian crossland
And then she went to the ball, and then he met her there?
unidentified
Yeah.
ian crossland
She didn't know the prince when she got there, right?
unidentified
Oh, maybe he met- No, no, they met- I love her, but not because of her status.
melanie notkin
He meets this really sweet girl in the forest or something.
tim pool
Is that the real story?
melanie notkin
Is that what happened?
I remember seeing this on Broadway and and he's so like wow this little peasant woman is so sweet and oh lovely and then she's the princess kind of looking, she's not a princess, but in the ball gown and he doesn't recognize it's the same woman and she leaves the shoe and he finds it's her and then realizes oh this is the kind woman and by the way this is why I am actually pro-princess.
Not certainly Megan, although I don't know.
But, no, pro-princess, because princesses are generally very kind, kind to animals, lovely, or badass.
Like, I hate that term.
Why did I say that?
ian crossland
Because it's true.
melanie notkin
Like Wonder Woman?
unidentified
Yeah.
melanie notkin
Right?
lydia smith
Yeah, strong.
melanie notkin
Yeah, there are a lot of good things about princesses.
tim pool
All right.
I don't know how to, um and uh.
Um and uh.
unidentified
Okay.
tim pool
Okay.
That's what it says.
Um and uh.
Thought this lady was going to be whack at first.
She ended up being a great guest.
melanie notkin
Thanks.
Thanks.
Uh, thanks.
tim pool
Sydney says MGTOW.
What do you think about, you know what MGTOW is?
Men going their own way.
melanie notkin
Meaning that they don't want women?
Yeah.
tim pool
Get a dog and go to the woods?
melanie notkin
I mean, if that's what's good for them, but again, I mean, or they could find somebody that enables them to live to their potential because of their love for them.
I, I think that's great.
However, if they don't want to be with someone, then that's their choice.
But again, I think if anything, maybe somebody to play the drums while you're singing.
unidentified
There you go.
tim pool
Civic Nationalist says, both me and my girlfriend are part of Gen Z. My girlfriend is not political in any way, whereas here I am.
I've been with her for two years and we intend to marry.
Young people need to understand is workout.
Run five miles every day.
Build on a skill.
Wake up early.
I do this.
melanie notkin
Absolutely.
Yeah, good.
tim pool
Well, that's why, you know, one of the things I've always loved doing is, I guess I'll just say action sports.
I've been skateboarding for a few decades, but recently I've been rollerblading and we just got some bikes and we're gonna get scooters.
Because I'm old, you know, when I was younger, skateboarding was hanging out with my friends and we all did it.
Now I'm more about trying to get as many people as possible to come and be active and do things.
So having a wide variety of things to do, be it skateboarding, biking, rollerblading, scootering.
I'm even down to like get some pogo stick people in the house and Apparently there's somebody who's like a really good pogo sticker who might end up coming and like doing some crazy pogo tricks.
melanie notkin
That's cool.
tim pool
But I just love the idea of goal-oriented exercise, where when it comes to the action sports, you're not just like, I'm gonna do five push-ups or, you know, ten, you know, sit-ups or whatever.
You're like, I'm going to land a 360 flip.
And then it could, I tell you, man, trying to learn that new trick and it takes you like a hundred tries and you're drenched in sweat because you're trying to attain a goal.
It pushes you way harder than being like, I have to do 10 pull-ups.
What if it was like, you'd have to do 10 pull-ups.
You had to climb to the top of a mountain.
Like you, you know what your goal is.
You can't stop until you get it.
And it wears you down.
That, that I love.
So that I, I'll always recommend skateboarding.
melanie notkin
Persistence and resilience are very good things.
tim pool
Matthew Maddox says, men aren't seen as career obsessed.
It's like it isn't a common arc in movies, books, and songs is that the man is at work and not being with the family.
Oh, I see.
You're saying it is like a common trope where like, you know, like Click.
You ever see the movie, was it called Click with Adam Sandler?
He gets a clicker that can control reality and he starts using it to skip over family boring stuff so he can stay at work.
And then it starts automatically flipping through his life and he regrets it.
It's kind of a dumb concept, I guess.
You know, whatever.
I'm like, what does a clicker that can do anything have to do with skipping your family life?
I don't know.
But there's, like, Scrooge.
You know?
He was a dick.
Just wanted to, like, make money.
And then he realized his heart grew three sizes or whatever because the ghost told him to go to hell and he didn't want to go to hell.
Oh, Christmas Carol.
Yeah, that one, you know, she's right.
Did that guy actually care about people or was he just scared, you know, because like death was like, I'm gonna kill you.
And he was like, I'll do, I'll pretend to be nice.
ian crossland
He loved the girl and then had passed on it or something.
tim pool
That's right.
ian crossland
And he remembered.
And then when the love came back.
tim pool
Yeah, they were, they were in love.
And then he chose career instead.
And then he got to see the Christmas past was like, look at what you had and you gave it all up.
I was watching The Simpsons, and I don't know what episode this is because I barely watch Simpsons, but Mr. Burns falls into a fountain, and he gets sucked through the jets, and he's getting repeatedly lands in the water, and then he says, I wish I spent more time at the office.
The joke is nobody says, I wish I spent more time at the office when they die.
Eric Miller says, Tim, can you talk about alien invasions and doomsday politics?
Oh, Tim, you can talk about alien invasions and doomsday politics, but love is sacred, man.
To men, love is playful.
To women, love is work.
Even when women have everything, it's still just business.
Great show.
melanie notkin
That's heartbreaking.
ian crossland
Ludus is the playful love.
It is one kind of ludus.
lydia smith
I disagree with that.
melanie notkin
And by the way, love relationships are work.
lydia smith
Yeah, it turns out.
tim pool
Joey Martinez says, Hey Tim, I reached out to Langley Outdoor Academy for your 2A expert and he said he would reach out to you guys as well.
He's been hitting the pavement hard on Joe Biden's gun grabbing.
Get that gun grabbing out of there.
We need the opposite of gun grabbing.
We need the government to be gun giving.
melanie notkin
Yes.
tim pool
Just walking around being like, here's your gun, sir.
Imagine if there was a guy would like knock on your door and then you'd be like, hello.
And it's like, I'm here from the ATF.
Like, oh no, what?
I'm here to give you a gun.
Not take them away.
lydia smith
Heck yeah.
tim pool
I don't know about you, but I'm very pro.
melanie notkin
I didn't get my stimulus gun yet.
tim pool
Stimulus gun?
lydia smith
No, right?
Where's mine?
tim pool
Instead of giving people money because money is devalued due to inflation.
unidentified
Wow.
tim pool
Give everybody a gun.
unidentified
Yeah.
tim pool
Standard issue.
I don't know, Glock 17 or something.
unidentified
Sure.
lydia smith
Yeah, let's go.
tim pool
MilSpecAir15?
unidentified
556?
tim pool
Sure, sure.
All right, what do we got here?
DarthSaladTheTosser says, if we continue down this feminist path, why get married?
Just let it all fall apart and women will become property again.
unidentified
Oof.
melanie notkin
OK, well, we know why you're single.
lydia smith
Yeah, that's fair.
tim pool
Dragon Noodle Soup Gaming says, men shouldn't be sympathetic to a group of people who have demonized them in all of the institutions and the media while taking their children away from them because they're bolstered by divorce court.
Women need to do better.
lydia smith
Feminists need to do better.
tim pool
Yeah, feminists.
lydia smith
Let's make that distinction right now.
tim pool
Because I'm pretty sure like most of these conservative guys who are married wouldn't say that about their wives.
lydia smith
Absolutely not.
tim pool
You know?
And their wives aren't working for BuzzFeed.
So not writing about it either.
Slim 74 says, great point about COVID and being at home.
I've been your basic handsome weekend get laid.
We're dating honesty man.
I've changed my attitude now.
Not sure how, but it worked.
Values found.
Interesting.
lydia smith
Very cool.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
Okay.
Oh, here we go.
I got the married with children people mad.
G says, Tim, you're absolutely wrong about married with children.
It taught an important lesson.
Don't quit when the times get hard.
They never left each other regardless of how much they drove each other crazy.
lydia smith
That's fair.
tim pool
But like, imagine having a media tell you that it's not enjoyable to do, and then you're like, why should I change my circumstances?
Now, to be fair, The Simpsons had the inverted message, where when Milhouse's parents got divorced, and then Milhouse's dad, what's his character's name?
He's showing Homer the bachelor pad, and he's like, I, Homer, sleep in a race car!
Do you sleep in a race car?
And Homer goes, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
He's like, oh.
lydia smith
Zing!
tim pool
Yeah, that was great.
unidentified
Love it.
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
tim pool
Even Homer got married.
Patrick in Chicago says, human relationships are designed to model the Trinity.
Man and woman, or even friends, united by the Spirit of God, like the Father and the Son, each seeking the best interests of each other before themselves.
That's what we crave.
And Brondo is what plants crave.
Slim 74 says, a woman that appreciates making her man happy with feminine role is what men want.
Take care of your appearance.
Treat him good.
All right, we got some economics.
Image JPEG says, inflation answered by Austrian economists.
Tim, Ian, or Luke, if he's watching, I implore you to read Murray Rothbard's America's Great Depression.
Central banks own most of the AUAG, keeping prices low.
Luke hit me up and he's like, bro, move to Florida.
Yeah.
And I was like, bro, no.
lydia smith
It's so hot.
It's so hot and humid.
melanie notkin
With my friend of mine, I was it was a really cold April day in New York City.
And I was texting a guy friend of mine.
I said, it's so freaking cold today.
He's like, move to Florida, which was like out of nowhere.
And I'm like, it's like you don't even care about my hair.
unidentified
I know, right?
lydia smith
Exactly.
melanie notkin
It's like you don't understand what frizz is.
lydia smith
It gets all poofy.
tim pool
No Legs No Problem TV says 50% of marriages divorce, 80% initiated by the wife because she lost, quote, the butterflies.
The dad has two weekends a month with the kids.
Those are real stats.
Divorce dads beg for time with the kids.
Interview Terrence Pop.
melanie notkin
See, I mean... No, it's heartbreaking.
I mean, I'm with you.
I think it's heartbreaking.
And hey, the thing is, forget the couple.
Those kids need their dad.
lydia smith
Yes.
melanie notkin
Especially those boys.
Why would women keep their, unless, God forbid, the husband, the ex-husband was violent, I mean, if he was not a good guy.
But in general, why would you keep your children away from their father?
lydia smith
Yeah.
tim pool
My parents got divorced and they were very pragmatic.
So I saw my dad almost every single day.
He lived really, really close.
And my parents were just like, when they realized it wasn't working and they were fighting all the time, they were like, divorce?
unidentified
Alright.
tim pool
And they just... How old were you?
I think I was 13.
melanie notkin
Do you have siblings?
tim pool
Yes.
melanie notkin
Older? Younger?
tim pool
All older.
melanie notkin
All older?
tim pool
Yeah.
melanie notkin
So you're the baby.
But you had older siblings who also kept you feeling safe, I bet.
No.
unidentified
No.
melanie notkin
Okay.
tim pool
No, I was...
Yeah.
you.
Interesting Chicago upbringing, I guess.
melanie notkin
Well, I mean, I'm my parents divorced.
Well, they separated when I was 14.
Divorced when I was 18.
My mom died when I was 19.
But I was very like, you know, I'm not going to let this ruin my teenage years.
ian crossland
My parents almost split up, and then they decided to stay together kind of for financial concerns for the kids, and then they ended up getting separate bedrooms, and their relationship blossomed.
melanie notkin
That's how it works.
They became better friends, is that it?
That's kind of cool.
ian crossland
They started kayaking together and stuff.
unidentified
Wow, there you go.
melanie notkin
Kayaking.
tim pool
This one's really important.
Damien Maddox says, Feminism was created by the Federal Reserve.
Tell him Ian.
ian crossland
It was created by the Federal Reserve, so there's a lot of problems in society.
unidentified
Down with the Federal... I can't get behind that message, I don't know.
tim pool
People were chatting like, Ian didn't say Federal Reserve, so like... I will, though.
Alright, here's a good one, though.
Golan Daz Thopp says, You guys are not talking about the role of grandparents.
In Eastern cultures, when both parents work, the grandparents take care of the children.
The West also confuses passionate love versus stable love.
Passionate love is very temporary.
That's interesting.
melanie notkin
Very true.
No, that's true.
And yes, we have to think about love for the long term, and things change, and people change, we get older, and all of that stuff.
And we have to love each other for reasons other than just attraction, certainly.
And I don't even think that is love, although there is one of the seven.
ian crossland
Eros.
melanie notkin
Eros.
Yeah, we need Eros Plus.
It's like HBO Plus, you need Eros Plus.
unidentified
All right.
tim pool
Mark Zuckerberg says, Ian is my wife's boyfriend.
ian crossland
Nuh-uh.
lydia smith
What?
No.
ian crossland
Zuckerberg.
tim pool
That's not right.
Mea culpa says, sometimes things in life are too heavy to carry alone.
Marriage helps divide the burden by two.
Life is just one part hardship and one part happiness.
Try not to complicate it.
melanie notkin
And that's true.
And I mean, you brought up Jordan Peterson.
I mean, suffering is is part of the meaning of life.
I mean, suffering is something that we deal with as being humans.
And it's okay to suffer.
It doesn't mean you have failed at life.
And it doesn't mean you're not lovable.
It's okay to suffer.
tim pool
Austin Smith says, hello Tim Fool.
Please shout out my band Guile and Grit.
We released our music video for our song Hurt People today.
Also, when you start having bands, we'd love to perform at the Beanie Compound.
That is absolutely possible.
But you called me Tim Fool!
So you're banned!
I'm just kidding.
Send us an email.
In fact, because you called me Tim Fool, I think we will have you.
No, I'm kidding.
Send us an email.
unidentified
What the heck?
All right.
What is this?
tim pool
Del Menz says, I hope you can reach out to Joker from Better Bachelor.
Bring him on as a counterpoint to this gal.
I think I want to point something out.
A lot of people are mentioning they're like, you got to bring on these guys to talk about these issues too.
And that's a really good point.
Men and women have probably have different perspectives on this.
melanie notkin
Probably.
tim pool
And so I think a lot of people, I will say a lot of people have probably heard a lot of male perspectives on these issues.
So, you know, having a female perspective on it is good.
And then actually having both.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
tim pool
Well, I mean, I sort of have a male perspective on this, but I mean like a more someone who specializes in these conversations and the data and the research that I don't.
melanie notkin
Sure.
I think that's good.
And I do think that I give a different perspective, like one of your fans.
tim pool
Yeah, I don't think you have a very typical perspective.
melanie notkin
I, you know, I do in that most women think like me, but the narrative is sort of left feminist.
tim pool
Alright, Justin Stowers says, Well, normal guys, like your average guy, doesn't have to do that.
They just wait till they're 35 and they have money, and then they are the guy who's got the Ferrari or whatever.
a 6'5 rich guy with rock hard abs and a Ferrari, normal guys just say F it while we wait for
them to settle for what's reasonable.
Well, normal guys, like your average guy, doesn't have to do that.
They just wait until they're 35 and they have money, and then they are the guy who's got
the Ferrari or whatever.
ian crossland
There's also nothing wrong with rock hard abs.
unidentified
That's right.
tim pool
And you can actually have them.
Anybody could.
It's called exercising.
Go to the gym, meet some people.
I'm telling you, man.
melanie notkin
Yeah, you don't deserve to be settled for, whoever this guy is.
I hope nobody ever settles for you.
But maybe you shouldn't settle for the way you feel right now.
And to your point, go do MMA.
tim pool
The reason why I said MMA gym as opposed to like a regular gym, regular gyms where you like, you know, you pay a membership, people are just there to get their workout in real, you know, forever time and they're not there as a community.
But like an MMA gym, I would assume, in my very, very limited experience, that people are training towards a goal and there's probably a community there of people who show up to hang out, they know each other.
But there's also parkour gyms, there's also skate parks.
You go to any one of these places, You go to a skate park, and you'll see a couple guys hanging out, and if you've never skated before, and you walk up to any random group of people and say, hey guys, I've never skated before, they're gonna be like, oh dude, let me show you everything, and they're gonna be so excited to do it, and you'll make friends.
ian crossland
So the camaraderie that comes along with action sports.
tim pool
There is not like everybody wants to teach people.
It's like, it's almost like proof to themselves that they have value and power.
So if you're some like average skateboard dude hanging out at a park, you probably skate all the time.
You probably get somewhat bored unless something interesting is happening or your friends are, you know, going on a mission as they call it.
And then someone comes in, they're like, would you mind like showing me how to do stuff?
It's like, Oh, I got something to do.
Like, let me show you how it's done, buddy.
Now it makes you feel good.
Because these, these skaters or these people feel like I've got something of value that people want from me.
And then this and then you go in there, you make friends.
And then I tell you, like, you count the days you've been skateboarding.
And then like three months when you're doing tricks, you get your first kickflip, they're going to be cheering and clapping and like jumping up and down for when you when you land those tricks.
ian crossland
Talking about giving people purpose, man, when you let someone teach you, that's what a great purpose you're giving them.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
Well, again, it's dynamic in dating.
Like, I'm not saying that the man is going to be teaching the woman, although everybody can learn something from somebody else.
But again, just the fact that he has a passion for wine or a passion, he's a foodie and wants to show you the restaurants he loves or whatever.
Don't say, no, you know, I don't want to go all the way there.
Can we just like hang out and like, just like grab some burgers?
Give him the opportunity to show you his passion.
Just do it.
And if you're not interested, that's okay too.
And again, I want to go back to the settle guy.
Please don't live life passively, waiting to a point where you think that a woman is 40 and she's going to settle for you.
Because A, that's not going to happen.
And B, you've missed out on your life.
You're settling on life.
No woman's going to settle for a man.
And no woman is going to want to be with a man who has settled that that's his life.
tim pool
Yeah, could you imagine being with a woman who's, like, just mad every day because she's settled?
Like, why would you want to be in a relationship like that?
melanie notkin
Women don't need to settle.
Women, because we have jobs, we can pay the rent.
That's the magical thing, right?
It's true that we don't need a man to pay the rent, but we want a man.
That's good.
That's better.
We're not marrying you because we need you.
We're marrying you because we want you.
tim pool
All right, Samuel Pyle says, I'm 19 and I put one K into doge at three cents.
And if it reaches $35, I will be a millionaire.
And thank you, Ian.
I bought one kilogram of graphene.
This is the future.
I am a gorilla.
ian crossland
Yes, it is.
tim pool
You can also get your official Our Pillow.
You can see it in the chat.
It is pinned.
You can also go to TimCast.com with the shop button.
And we have the Our Pillow.
You're familiar with my pillow, correct?
melanie notkin
Of Of course.
tim pool
Well, we have the better communist version.
I thought Eden was going to grab the hour pillow.
melanie notkin
Me too, I was really thinking that totally.
tim pool
Yeah, because he looked, the pillow's right there, but he said Eden was grabbing the graphene.
It's more of a burlap one.
No, that's the one we actually sell, the burlap one.
melanie notkin
I like that.
tim pool
Hour pillow, see?
The Maya's crossed out because this is good communist pillow.
melanie notkin
I see, it's collective.
ian crossland
How about the real hour pillow?
unidentified
Oh yeah.
ian crossland
The real deal.
tim pool
The real prototype of the hour pillow?
lydia smith
That's right.
tim pool
It's a burlap sack full of styrofoam packing peanuts.
It feels awful.
ian crossland
To this guy about graphene, we were just talking about how the cost of wood has gone up six times, 600%, and steel is increasing.
tim pool
$250, but they're saying now, like in the same article they said, a piece of lumber that was $10 is selling for $60 now.
ian crossland
Yeah, so I think graphene may be a potential future hedge against inflation.
If we can start producing this stuff super cheap, then we're not going to need lumber and steel like this, and that may pull us out of the fire.
This is graphene, by the way.
tim pool
Graphene, I know, is like a great superconductor, but is it- are they gonna make like multi-layered graphene sheets that are stronger than steel or something?
ian crossland
Yeah, well, you can, yeah, and you can make- if you take two sheets of graphene and twist them 1.1 degrees, you can create a superconductor that way.
Apparently it's stronger than steel.
I would like to see it in practice, because the body of a car- you can also alloy it with things to make it even stronger, like aerogel.
tim pool
True.
unidentified
True.
Yeah.
tim pool
Oh yeah.
says, Growing up, I was always told that I needed to make sure I went to college and
got a good job. So in the event my husband left me, I could support myself and my children.
It was never a drive for career achievement.
melanie notkin
True. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember I was, it was the 70s.
I was, let's say, seven years old, pigtails.
And my neighbor, the dad, asked me what I want to be when I grow up.
And I said, I want to be a psychologist.
And he said, oh, that's nice, but it really doesn't matter because, you know, you'll grow up, you'll get married, and you won't have to work.
Your husband will take care of you.
And I remember this, putting my hands on my hips, going, and what's going to happen when he runs off with his secretary?
How will I be able to take care of my children?
Now, of course, this was part of the cultural conversation that I learned, but the truth is that, again, a positive part of feminism is that, let's say he didn't run off a sex test, he died.
Let's say he's sick.
Let's say he got hurt on the job.
I mean, a woman has to be able to take care of her children and herself.
I think that it's okay.
It's wonderful that women are, A, able to earn a living, and able to earn a living on par with men, and able to live to their potential.
ian crossland
I find it way hotter when a girl can take care of herself than it is needy.
I don't like it personally.
I don't want the cling.
melanie notkin
I don't blame you.
tim pool
Mr. House says, many young females of this era want the benefits of both feminism and traditional relationships, but none of the struggle.
As long as this cherry picking behavior continues, both sexes in Western society will suffer.
melanie notkin
Oh, there's a struggle.
There's a struggle.
If you are 36 years old and the guy you love and thought you were going to marry breaks up with you.
I have to tell you, that is, if you don't know now if you're going to have children because now you only have a few more years, oh, they're a struggle.
unidentified
All right.
tim pool
Let's just read this one more from Sol Invictus.
He says, women do need to settle early because those are their peak years.
And if they don't, because of FOMO, because of FOMO, men age like wine, women age like milk.
Don't pretend women will be fertile forever and men have to prove themselves to be valued.
melanie notkin
Do I look like milk?
lydia smith
No.
melanie notkin
Thank you.
lydia smith
That's a fair point.
melanie notkin
I would just say that it's true.
Men do age well.
However, women are aging even better.
Women are taking better care of themselves and can take good care of themselves and hopefully a man would love a woman who takes care of herself and would love to take care of him too.
tim pool
Right on.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for hanging out on this Friday night.
We're going to be chilling this weekend, filming more episodes of the vlog.
We're going to be, it's Cast Castle if you haven't seen it already.
And we're going to have, eventually we're going to get into doing it every single day because we are genuinely crazy here.
Going to be turning the studio into a reality show, I guess.
But it's a vlog, so whatever.
Make sure you follow us on Instagram at TimCastIRL and on Facebook at Facebook.com slash TimCastIRL.
When you follow us and click that like button on Facebook, you can share the videos.
That way we can get more people to go to TimCast.com and become members, because we're going to be rolling out new shows, a newsroom, and I'm really excited for this paranormal show that we're working on.
You know, it's a snowball rolling down a hill.
So it starts off slow, but once we get to the point where we have, like, the key managerial components, we can start launching these shows faster and faster.
I'm actively talking with talent, you know, creatives about their own shows and things like that.
So we're gonna have a bunch of really awesome stuff on TimCast.com.
I'm hoping that eventually it'll be, like, one day a big, you know, site with a whole bunch of movies and shows, original content.
So that's coming, and it's all thanks to everything you guys do for us by being members, by just subscribing to the content that we give to you.
You give back.
We can do a lot more, and I really appreciate it.
Don't forget, you can follow my other YouTube channels, youtube.com slash TimCast and youtube.com slash TimCastNews.
This show is live Monday through Friday at 8 p.m., and we'll be back Monday.
But Melanie, is there anything you want to mention?
Social media?
Website?
melanie notkin
Yeah, please follow me, SavvyAuntie, S-A-V-V-Y-A-U-N-T-I-E, on all the socials except Clubhouse, where it's my name, Melanie Notkin, N-O-T-K-I-N, and hoping to continue the conversation there.
ian crossland
You can follow me at iancrossland.net and at iancrossland throughout all the social media accounts.
Thanks for coming, guys.
It was really fun.
melanie notkin
It was fun.
I had a lot of fun.
ian crossland
This is the kind of conversation that I thrive.
I love this stuff.
lydia smith
Me too.
melanie notkin
Me too.
tim pool
Good Friday night.
melanie notkin
Yeah.
lydia smith
And then me in the corner pushing buttons.
I was just listening.
I absolutely loved this conversation.
Thank you so much for coming, Melanie.
melanie notkin
Thank you for inviting me.
lydia smith
And I am Sour Patch Lids on Twitter.
You guys may follow me there as I try to outpace Sour Patch Kids for followers.
tim pool
Thanks for hanging out, everybody.
We'll see you all again.
Actually, I'm sorry.
We're going to have clips up from earlier in the week.
We do this on the weekends, so there will be clips tomorrow and Sunday.
But on Sunday, over at YouTube.com slash CastCastle, we will have a vlog where Mike jumped over the Tesla on his bike.
It's not the biggest feat in the world, especially when you realize, like, you got people like Travis Pastrana jumping over buildings or whatever he's doing.
But, uh, hey, we're trying, and we're getting things going, so make sure you check out youtube.com slash castacastle, subscribe to the new channel, and we'll see you all next time.
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