Chris Cella’s harrowing descent into opioid addiction began at 16, fueled by theft—including robbing the Mexican Mafia after pepper-spraying them—and escalated from black tar heroin to injection within months. His 15–20 failed rehabs exposed a corrupt system: California’s lax security and Florida’s "Rehab Shuffle," where centers profited by trafficking drugs and cycling addicts through detox, one owner landing a 27-year sentence while others thrived. Cella credits sobriety to intrinsic motivation, not rehab, after surviving near-death experiences and witnessing friends overdose, contrasting with peers whose wealth mitigated addiction’s toll. Tucker Carlson joins to dissect the industry’s exploitation—nicotine pouches dismissed as "teabags," Big Pharma’s role in pushing OxyContin and fentanyl, and the failure of safe injection sites—ultimately framing addiction as a supply-driven crisis demanding accountability over coddling. [Automatically generated summary]
And he had girls in his halfway houses that he was giving heroin, giving crack, and pimping them out, and then sending them back to treatment where they would ultimately fail their drug test and have to go to detox.
So I grew up in, I was born in Dallas, grew up in South Orange County, moved there when I was five, kind of bounced around, but all in kind of relatively the same area.
And then my sister, she had a serious issue with bulimia and anorexia from the age of 10 to 28. Like so serious that her potassium levels were so low that ambulances at our home were like a regular occurrence.
And there was multiple times when they said, your daughter might not make it to my father.
Witnessing all of this at a very young age, and again, I'm not trying, again, I just want to, like, preface, this is not an excuse for my actions.
Like, I own everything that I did, all the terrible things that I did.
But I think that the chaos that I, you know, basically, I didn't have this.
The necessary things like structure and discipline that I think are so important for everyone, but especially for people with addictive personalities to have that rigid kind of, I'm going to wake up, I'm going to make my bed, I'm going to do this,
I'm going to do that.
I knew my parents loved me.
I was never short on that, but they were so busy trying to deal with my sister.
And their own issue.
My father, he's been off, he stopped drinking, he just cold turkey stopped drinking for, it's been 25 years now.
Good man.
Yeah, and he never went to AA or anything like that.
So again, it's addiction or treatment can be as simple as going to therapy.
It doesn't have to include rehab and all these different things.
And then your mom?
So, she eventually switched over to Suboxone from fentanyl, and then she weaned herself off of that.
So, now she's totally...
And Suboxone is a miracle drug.
I mean, compared to the alternative, which is methadone, which is so addictive.
It gets into your bone marrow.
I mean, the withdrawals from that, I've heard, are much worse than your average opiate or even heroin.
Like, I look back now and I'm like, you know, why the fuck did I care so much about what other people thought?
And it's, I guess, you know, I can't, you know, but after years of therapy, they've kind of pinpointed us to like, you know, your quote-unquote inner child didn't get enough emotional nourishment, so to speak.
And so, yeah, you know, I was so constantly trying desperately to fit in.
So, you know, when I...
Got into middle school, high school.
And, you know, I was, you know, an honor roll student.
Very, very, you know, I was very, you know, I have a high IQ.
I was blessed with that.
But once I got into, like, college where you actually have to start kind of trying a little bit, like Algebra 2 and whatnot, I was like, you know, because I started hanging out with kids who were smoking weed, drinking and smoking cigarettes.
So, not that I necessarily wanted to smoke weed.
Drink and smoke cigarettes, but that's what they were doing.
So I wanted their approval.
I wanted to fit in.
I wanted to be a part of the cool crowd.
And so I started drinking, smoking cigarettes and smoking weed.
And so that went on for...
I quit the wrestling team.
I pretty much abandoned everything that was positive.
All the positive things that I was doing for my life and just kind of became a stoner.
I know a lot of kids who were potheads in high school, you know, that I'm friends with that are more successful than I today, so I'm not, you know, trashing them at all, but I mean, then what happened was it progressed to the, because I was in, you know, advanced placement classes,
so I was in like Algebra 2 as a sophomore where, you know, I was, it was mostly juniors and seniors in the class, and so I started hanging out with the juniors and seniors, and they were doing, It's called oxymorphone or opana.
They were snorting that, taking Xanax, pills, stuff like that.
And so, you know, of course, you know, my, again, that low self-esteem, that desire to fit in started using.
Using pills and opiates in particular, they took away that feeling of that low self-worth.
I felt I was confident.
I felt great at the beginning, in the beginning, in the very early stages of my addiction.
So like the first two, three months.
And I had a job.
I was a telemarketer at a golf club selling quote-unquote.
Custom-made clubs.
They're literally made in a warehouse underneath the call center by illegals, and it was either graphite or steel, and they might give you extra grips on the clubs.
That's the extent of the quote-unquote customization.
And by the way, there have been a lot of, as you know, artists, jazz musicians, you know, who used opioids because they thought it increased their, you know, ability.
I was doing one pill, one 40-milligram pill every couple days to two every couple days, and just going up and up, and the cost was getting too expensive.
Yeah, I mean, you know, like the definition of insanity, trying things over and over again, expecting the different result, especially when you get into the point where you're like, you're trying to get sober.
And like, okay, yeah, this hasn't worked 15 times.
Yeah, and I, yeah, I mean, I'm still a nicotine fiend.
I vape, but I quit smoking cigarettes.
I was like, you know, I, and I was honestly, I was pretty impressed with myself that I was able to do that because that was almost, I don't want to say almost as hard, but very difficult and, you know, trying to get rid of that addiction, you know, compared to my opiate addiction, but, you know, just.
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Okay, so 10th grade, all of a sudden you go from doing bumps of some ground-up oxy-derivative pill at the golf.
I found out he was ripping us off when I got a direct connection and he was basically saying it was double the price for the amount because you get a little package with 12 balloons in it.
And it was $45 and he was saying it was $90.
So he's able to like get to pocket one and give one to us.
So, you know, I would drive him in my 1998 Jeep and we'd all just pile in there.
And this, the feds were watching like these, like they literally, there was an article in the OC Register.
I think it came out while I was in rehab, but basically just kind of giving an overview of the whole thing.
The number you'd call, the guy's name was Boss, so you call his phone number, and this guy goes, alright, what do you want?
And you tell him how many packs you want, and then he's like, alright, meet, and it would be like one of three freeway exits right in that area, and always a fast food parking lot, something like that.
And so, you know, I go back to Orange County and the next day, a police officer comes to our house.
And it's like a female investigator and she's like asking me questions like, were you at this house and blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, I was there on, she's like, were you there Saturday?
I was like, no, I was there Friday.
I was like, I was there Friday.
I was told we were allowed to be there because I thought it was breaking and entering.
That's what I assumed.
And so I was like, I was told we were supposed to be there, allowed to be there.
And, you know, so, and she's like, well, you're not aware that that portion of the house was burned down?
And I'm like, no, what are you talking about?
And so she proceeds to tell me the story.
Apparently, Some of the other people that the girl invited out for the next night, one person got really high, fell asleep with a frozen pizza in the oven or something like that and started a fire.
And instead of trying to put it out, they just left.
And so, like, they're driving down the hill as the fire, you know, the ambulance and the cops are coming up the hill.
And the cop flips at you and he's like, because it's a private road and it only leads to that house.
And so they're like, are you leaving that house?
They're like, no.
You know, idiots, no, of course not.
We weren't there.
You know, lying, lying, lying.
And then the cops are like...
Come on.
So, you know, and I think one of them ended up getting charged with, like, fleeing the scene of a crime or something like that, but nothing serious came out of it.
So, as you're doing lines off the navels of Big Booty Latinas with your gangbanger heroin dealer buddy in some girl's uncle's house where Entourage was filmed, what are your parents thinking at this point of,
And like, my dad, you know, had this consistent belief that, you know, our kids will do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, not because of the consequence that could come from it.
And, you know, as noble as that is, it's just, it doesn't work.
You know, you have to have consequences.
Otherwise, you will...
Run rampant and think you can do whatever you want.
And, you know, many of those people I'm still in contact with today and I'm so grateful that they, you know, It took the time and the effort to try to save me from myself.
So, from smoking, it quickly deteriorated to shooting up because, you know, I'd say within, like, a month of smoking it, I started shooting up because, you know, a couple of my buddies started doing it, and they're like,
oh my gosh, dude, you only have to use, like, one-fifth of the amount, and you get, like, a high that's, like, ten times better.
I'm like, oh, great, save money.
And, yeah, I remember the first time, like, I remember the first time my buddy and I did it, we looked it up, how to inject, you know, great Google search, how to inject heroin into your body.
So, there are certain pharmacies that will, you know, if you say, you know, my grandmother's a diabetic or whatever, and I think nowadays they just give them to you in a lot of places, especially like Northern California.
And that's why she would, you know, at times, you know, when I was like, I was in terrible withdrawal.
And I was like, mom, I'm dying.
Like, I need, like, please just give me like, you know, and, you know, she would occasionally give me a little bit of money just to.
Because she knew, and God bless her, you know, she just, I put so, you know, I rained down so much terror and chaos upon my parents.
They were just trying everything they could think of, and, you know, some things they did really well, some things obviously, you know, again, being a parent is hard.
Especially a parent of a wild, psychotic drug addict.
And dealing with, you know, obviously, my sister's issues as well.
You know, just, goodness.
But as soon as my mom turned her back, I stole the $80 she had in cash out of her wallet and drove to L.A. And obviously, oh, so the gangbanger that I left this out, the gangbanger that I was partying with,
I really regret doing this because, you know, I consider him a friend.
Not just the stupid things that I was doing outside of my use, but if I was an addict in the age of fentanyl, where fentanyl is laced in it, I probably would have died.
Just because I stopped in 2016 when that was like when it started to really get – like when they started to put heroin into – or fentanyl into heroin and other drugs because – When Trump got elected and the Chinese decided to just like kill a huge part of our population.
And this is not an Anglo neighborhood, so, like, they stick out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, sore thumbs.
Like, a big...
Yeah, I mean, well, one of them was Hispanic, so maybe not so much, but the Scottish guy.
Yeah, like...
And so we...
So I jump out of the car, I stash my drugs, sit down on the curb.
And wait for the police.
You know, because there's so many people there, so many witnesses.
But again, no one knew that what had just transpired, all this, again, like, it was just a car accident, as far as they were concerned, and as far as the police were concerned.
And so, yeah, my friends run, and the cops come, they show up, they're like...
You know, hey, what are you doing out here?
I was like, we were trying to find a friend's house.
We got turned around.
In Southgate.
Yeah.
Made up some bullshit.
Just trying to find a friend's house.
And he's like, well, do you need to go to the hospital?
And I'm like, no, no, I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm fine.
And he's like, okay, well, do you have a ride?
I was like, yeah, I'm going to call somebody to pick me up.
And he's like, okay.
And so, you know, I wait for them to depart.
Go back into the little bush.
Of course, grab my drugs.
Can't forget that.
And then I ended up getting a ride from a buddy, another user, and I was like, hey, I'll give you some dope.
Pick me up.
Because I was very concerned that they were going to, like, I was like, I need to get out of Southgate.
Her house was right next to where the accident took place.
And so I was like, do you mind if I just post up on your front step?
I was like, I just want to wait for my ride.
I'm kind of scared.
I'm in a dangerous neighborhood.
Played like the little...
And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very kind.
And so I just sit there and wait, and I have the drugs in my fist ready to toss them at a moment's notice if I need to or whatever.
And then I get picked up, and that's that.
But what transpired after, because thankfully, they only knew me by CJ, like Chris Jr., my initials, that's what I went by, my nickname from kindergarten through high school.
And they knew I lived in South Orange County, but they didn't know anything else.
And so they switched up the way they did the process of selling the dope, where now you had to meet up, then follow them down this empty street or an alley or something like that,
then stand up against a chain-link fence and get searched, and then you could get into the car and get your stuff.
And they would ask every single person, do you know CJ?
Do you know CJ from South Orange County?
Do you know where he lives?
And yeah, so for a very long while, and I was so grateful when I saw that OC Register article, the fact that they had, and I saw his picture in the, you know, his mugshot in the article, Wild, and his name listed.
The opioid users, kind of, like, they have the advantage of, like, many of them that I hang out with, or hung out with, excuse me, were already, you know, their family was just...
Super wealthy.
One of their fathers was the CEO of a company called AmeriQuest.
He was worth like $80 million.
They had a lot of money to fall back on, so they tried opening up a clothing line, different things, but ultimately...
So the guy boss, right, he had different runners, like, you know, multiple guys who would run into cars.
And one time I had this guy, and so I was in rehab, and it was like a, it was in San Diego, and I think it's Chula Vista.
Great place to put a rehab.
Well, your rehab was in Chula Vista?
Yeah.
And, yeah, it's like, you're setting yourself up to fail.
They had, like, it was a mansion, and then kind of like a bungalow.
They had little, like, bungalows, like, type things, and so it could house about, like, 30, 40 people.
And so they had me there, and this guy comes in, and I'm like, he looks familiar.
And I didn't, like, I couldn't put my finger on where I'd seen him before.
And he goes...
He goes, hey man, he said, I used to run for boss, and he's like, I think I delivered to you once.
And I'm like, oh my god.
And he's like, you're friends with hobby, right?
And the guy that I robbed.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, great friends.
And I was like, I heard he was locked up though.
He's like, yeah, no, he's out now.
And I was like, oh, okay.
And he's like, I'll tell him you said hi because you get a seven-day blackout and you can't use the phone when you first go.
A lot of treatment centers have that rule.
This place did.
And so he's like, yeah, I'll tell you said what up when I talk to him.
I'm like, oh, my God.
This guy's going to knife me in my sleep.
And I was seriously, I was concerned.
I was going to tell.
Like, my therapist and see, you know, what could potentially be done because I was genuinely – because you could easily, in that place, sneak out of your bedroom and go into someone else's bedroom if you wanted to.
It's not like it's locked down.
You know, they have, you know, quote-unquote people that are watching at night, but the place is so big.
And it's interesting because one of my therapists described withdrawal as your body basically being in shock because you've been numbing all your senses for so long.
I mean, they say up to seven days typically, but in reality, my last withdrawal...
Lasted about like three, it was like three weeks before I remember, I remember like the day I was like laying in bed and I was like, wow, I actually feel comfortable.
Like my body doesn't ache.
Like I can, I'm like, I feel, I feel kind of normal.
Yeah, I mean, again, I think that it all depends on the person.
But again, you have to want it.
That's the bottom line.
You have to want it.
And these treatment centers, they do some good, but you should not say rehab is a cure or AA is a cure.
Yeah, if you go into those places, you can sometimes develop the intrinsic motivation through therapy or through discussion with other people or whatever.
But I mean, for me, it was so fast forward a little bit.
So, you know, I get basically kicked out of every rehab in California.
So my parents are like, all right, let's send you to Florida.
And it was just, I mean, I was shocked that, like, some of the places where the halfway houses were, or the sober homes were located, like, down the street from, like, the known markets where people, like, were,
Yeah, no, the most sinister man probably, if you want to just pick one out, is...
His name is ******.
That was the first treatment center I went to in Florida.
So ****** owned a treatment center and he owned several halfway houses.
But everything was in his wife's name.
That's one thing that was like a red flag to me.
And this guy shows up to the rehab center in a three-piece Armani suit with a Gucci belt and dressed like a pimp.
And ironically, he is a pimp.
So he had girls in his halfway houses that he was giving heroin, giving crack, and pimping them out, and then sending them back to treatment where they would ultimately fail their drug test and have to go to detox.
And guess who gets a kickback from the detox center?
Yeah, so the feds started to crack down on the Florida Rehab Shuffle, although I read somewhere that it's supposedly coming back.
Basically, he was probably one of the worst offenders, but a lot of these guys would just get these cheap homes, fill them with as many attics as they could.
Sometimes they would charge rent like $75 a week or something like that, plus the money they're getting from kickbacks from whichever treatment center they send them to.
So they're housed, they send them, and then if they go to detox, the kickback, it's a revolving door of chaos and a revolving door of suffering and just pain for the addict.
I think a lot of people were starting to wake up to it, and I knew one of the girls who was one of his victims, and she was always like, man, I just want to get the hell out of here.
And she had this look, and I could see that there was something.
And I thought she was just very, like, you know, maybe had some issues with her family or whatever.
Just a very depressed, sad person.
Even for an addict.
Even for an addict.
Like, I could tell that there was something.
Like, she was in absolute, like, misery and terror.
She was afraid.
They were afraid.
Many people were afraid of him.
And what he would do if they spoke out.
And it was just, it was heartbreaking for me to see that.
You know, even as someone who's...
Obviously committed crimes and things like that.
I can't even imagine having the will to carry out such a monstrous act.
And he was selling crack to just people in general, so we would get knocks on our doors at 3 o 'clock in the morning from total fucking spun-out crackheads.
You want to start doing all these different tasks that you've been putting off because you feel confident about them now.
But then it wears off.
And then you're just so depressed.
And you think about every bad thing you've ever done.
I don't know if you've ever had cocaine withdrawal.
Coming off of cocaine after, like, a night of Bender, like, my dad would tell me that when he would do coke, like, he was just, like, you think about, like, yeah, in third grade when I pushed that kid, you know, into the stairwell or whatever, just, like, every, you know, and just, like, you just feel like a piece of garbage and you're depressed.
How, every person, I think without exception, I know, who's been addicted to drugs or alcohol, who got better, has a sense that there's, what does he say in AA, you know, a greater power?
And that, you know, human beings have souls, and each one is unique and important, and life is important, and life is better than death, and, you know, it's sort of like the basic grounding of monotheism.
So, like, how big a role did God play in any of these rehab centers?
Well, when I was, so I was living in the halfway house, the guy was selling crack to us, and...
I just smoked some marijuana for the first time in a long time, and it made me, like, very introspective.
You know, we can do that.
Kind of like psychedelics, too, too.
And I was like, you know, and I heard a voice in my head that I can only assume is just, you know, a spiritual awakening God saying, like, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Why are you here, surrounded by these people, like, looking around?
I'm just like...
I have so much more to offer the world than what I'm, you know, I mean, I'm just a derelict and I don't have to be.
I have people who love me.
I have people who would, you know, would die for me.
You know, my family is, you know, are so loyal and they love me so much.
They just want me to stop being a piece of garbage.
And I just, that day, I was like, I am done with this stuff.
It's not fun anymore.
Like, and I wanted to better myself.
That was, so, you know, I think that was God instilling the motivation.
So, yeah, I mean, yeah, I got sober at a crack house.
It's kind of funny, you know, tried 50 different rehab centers, but ended up, you know, getting sober at a crack house.
Yeah, it's like, because it's like, I look back and I'm like, that's, I'm a different person.
I'm truly a different person.
I have like evolved.
It's like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly or, you know, whatever analogy you want to use.
But just, and looking back and thinking, how could I have possibly done all this?
And, and yeah, I mean, Christ, yeah.
It plays a huge role, and I think it's really important.
And even for people who are, excuse me, you know, maybe atheistic or whatever, but just believing in something greater than yourself that can, that, you know, you can strive to be better and strive to,
you know, just whatever, set goals for yourself and achieve them.
By doing that, I think that's how people can find a way out of addiction, and then you grasp onto something, find things that you really enjoy.
I was like, okay, what do I enjoy?
I love movies, I'm a huge movie fanatic, and I'm really interested in politics and journalism.
Ironically, I was always...
Fox News was on my parents' television 24-7.
So I grew up conservative.
My grandmother was a door knocker for Reagan and for...
In between jobs once and I got fired from another job, I was an unpaid fellow at a libertarian think tank in D.C. I thought I was a libertarian.
I sort of am libertarian in a lot of ways still, you know, I really don't want to bother other people.
But I left after a drug policy conference that I went to that really kind of changed my thinking on the world.
And at it, they explained the libertarian position on drug policy, which is kind of America's position on drug policy, which is, it's the drug addict's fault.
People get addicted to drugs.
That's their problem.
That's their fault.
And it's kind of the demand explanation for the drug epidemic.
It's like we have a lot of drugs because people want a lot of drugs in this country.
It's not Mexico or China's fault or the drug dealer's fault.
I mean, it's kind of like one of those lines you hear.
They're like, yeah, that sounds right.
And then you think of your own life.
And then you think of the people you know who got, you know, tragically fucked up or killed by drugs.
Of course, I know a lot of them.
And you think, no, actually, like, some of them are like your mom, super healthy person, obviously a distance runner, the healthiest person, like, in America.
You know, they're distance runners.
She has an injury and some doctor gives her a drug and she becomes an addict.
Just really quick, the reason my dad fell in love with my mom at first sight was because he said she was the only woman in New York he saw that was wearing a crucifix that he'd seen in New York.
So, in Northern California, because we moved to Northern California after, when I was 18, I remember my dad came down to San Diego, because I was in rehab in San Diego, and he picked me up and we drove.
So it's like I would always just, yeah, take like a puff or two.
There was one point where I stayed up for 12 days straight and then slept for eight hours and stayed up for another sort of total of 17 days.
So, yeah, another five days.
And because doing heroin and meth, it's like, like meth when you're like, basically like, you know, you're up for a day or two, you start to get weird seeing shadow people and shit like that.
Then you do heroin and it's like, it's like resets you, almost.
It's kind of like, it's like you, it's like almost like you slept a little bit and your brain's like back to normal and it's not going into crazy mode.
I have seen meth heads, like...
I remember this one story.
So we were at this girl's house in her garage, and it was myself, our dealer, and this chick, and she had just all over her face, scratching it from scratching.
She looked terrifying.
But I'd been kicked out of my house, so we were just chilling there.
We were just going from place to place, trying to...
Find a spot to, you know, kick it and rest or whatever.
And so we're smoking in there for like three, four hours.
And her and my friend go into the bathroom or inside her house.
And I just kind of like sit back and I end up like falling asleep.
And I didn't realize, I was like, I woke up and I was like, I had no idea how long I'd been asleep.
Like 30 seconds, 30 minutes, whatever.
And there was no one in the garage.
So I like knock on the garage.
And I got a garage door, kind of peeked my head in.
I'm like, hey, what are you guys doing?
And she comes out.
She's like, close the door.
I'm like, okay.
And then she comes out.
She's like, what the what are you doing in my in my house?
My kids are in there.
And I'm like, oh, my God, you have kids.
And she's like, yeah, what did you steal?
What did you steal?
And I'm like, I didn't steal anything.
And then she pulls out a handgun.
Yeah.
And like, it's this switch that flips for some people.
It's never happened to me, but this flip that switches and they just become a totally different, irrational, dangerous human being.
And so this woman has a gun pointed at me and she's like, empty your pockets, blah, blah, blah.
And I went like this and pulled out, I was like, look, I didn't steal anything from you.
What would I steal?
I poked my head into your place for two seconds.
And I'm like, by the way...
If you have your kids sleeping in there, you're kind of a shitty mom.
I was like, I didn't steal a fucking thing from you.
I was like, you're not going to shoot me.
So how about you just let us fucking leave?
And so, And I'm looking at my friend, and I'm like, dude, and he's just standing there.
Like, this guy was a piece of work.
So that night, so she's like, alright, get the fuck out of here, and she opens her garage up for us, and we leave, and my friend calls an Uber, and the Uber, like, her phone died in the middle of the ride, and so,
like, the trip got cancelled, and so the woman who was driving us was like, Uh, get out, get out of my car right now.
And, uh, we were like, uh, still like a couple miles from our destination, uh, his sister's house.
And, uh, he, and I was like, oh shit.
And he's like, oh, don't worry.
I have a spot we can go to.
And I'm like, okay.
And so we walk up the street, um, and there's this house and, uh, he's like, yeah, um, I forget who he said owned it, but, um, he's like, yeah, it's cool if we crash here.
And he tries to open the front door.
It's not locked.
He's like, alright, let me go around the back.
And he's like, he's rummaging around in the backyard.
And I'm standing in the front, just sitting on the steps, because I didn't think there was anything sketchy.
And this car drives by, and it kind of slows down.
And then it keeps going, and I'm like, huh, that was weird.
And then it loops back, and then stops, and I was like, oh shit.
So I had a backpack with me.
Grabbed my backpack, hopped the fence into the backyard, and I was like, hey dude, someone's here.
And he takes off, and I'm running, and it's like four in the morning in Northern California in the winter, and I'm running, and it's pitch black, and I fall into a pool.
This was like one of the worst nights of my life.
And I was in low-key opiate withdrawal, too, on top of all of that.
If I was on heroin, it probably would have gone down a lot differently, but I probably wouldn't have been as aggressive, but I was so ticked off.
And so I fall in the pool.
I see flashlights, like, coming towards us, and this guy has already booked it, like, over a fence, and he's gone.
Like, he is gone.
And so I, like, I get out of the pool, and I try to climb the fence, and I still have my backpack on, and, you know, like, soaking wet, and I couldn't climb.
I think it was someone who, like, because the house, it turns out the house was for rent.
And it was, it was, there was no one in it.
And so, I didn't, you know, of course, I didn't know that.
He said, yeah, this is a spot that we can go to.
I just assumed it was another dope fiends.
Another dope fiends place.
And, yeah, all that.
And, you know, one thing that really breaks my heart is, like, it's really the, yeah, one of the most, I'd say, difficult things that I had to accept that I did was, because my dad would, from time to time, figure out where I was and go to these,
you know, these crack houses and places like that and beg me to come home.
I remember one time specifically, he said, please, please, Chris, please come home.
Like, your family loves you, please, in tears, and my dad doesn't cry.
And I was just like, no.
And he's like, okay, well, at least take, and he gave me his crucifix and St. Christopher medal.
unidentified
I broke the chain, but I still have them to this day.
Honestly, I don't know that it has ever gotten back to where it was before, but I think that it took about, I would say, nine months to a year to get the...
Get the fog out and like, you know, have like, because like my memory was shot, just everything was like depleted.
And so in order to get, you know, to get those receptors and everything firing again to get my brain back to where it needed to be.
I would say, I'd say memory loss is definitely a thing.
Equilibrium.
Like, I have a very bad equilibrium.
Like, people think I'm drunk sometimes because I'll, like, stumble.
But it's just like, no.
I'm just, yeah, my equilibrium's off.
And, I mean, obviously, you know, long-term, like, things like anxiety, you know, it's ironic because a lot of people use heroin to treat their anxiety.
But it causes, you know, again, it's the rebound effect.
Yeah, I would say that, yeah, I didn't, I always, and I, you know, and even to this day, like, have this kind of sense sometimes of, like, imposter syndrome.
Like, I, like, you know...
For example, getting a job in Congress working for Matt Gaetz and having Matt Gaetz compliment me and tell me and say all these nice things about me.
It's like, I don't feel like I deserve this praise.
I mean, sure, I'm a decent person.
But yeah, it took me a while to just understand that, yeah, I am worthy of these.
I have...
but I've done everything I can to try to, you know, repair the damage that I caused.
And so, like, so no, I deserve, you know, it's just, it's hard to force
to, you know, accept.
Yes, you were as bad as it could get, but you've turned it around.
And like, you know, I was...
I was kind of nervous about this interview, but then I was like, and I was talking to my dad, and he's like, Chris, you stopped using heroin.
If you did that to your kids, here, get type 2 diabetes, here, become a junkie, you would be a terrible parent, but you would be acting of hate for your kids, obviously.
And, you know, that's why, you know, like, you know, you see all these like Victoria's Secret plus size, you know, it's like, and again, you shouldn't, you shouldn't do, you shouldn't want to better yourself, you know, for societal acceptance, but for your own sense of, you know, happiness and well-being and purpose,
because you talk to any person who's overweight, you know, and like, again, without medical conditions, like, obviously, they're going to say, yes, I would prefer to be, prefer to lose a few pounds.
I mean, I would assume.
I've never talked to every obese person.
I haven't talked to every obese person on the planet, but the ones that I have talked to, yeah, I would like.
Big Pharma is the closest thing to, like, you know, if you just want to talk about pure evil, like getting into the realm of demonically stick, Big Pharma is, I think, the prime example of what they've done to this country.
So it turns out that YouTube is suppressing this show.
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