The Tucker Carlson Show - Tucker Carlson - Going bald? Here's what you do. Our advice series, Ask Tucker, is back.

Feb. 3, 2024 - The Tucker Carlson Show

02:19

Tucker Carlson - Going bald? Here's what you do. Our advice series, Ask Tucker, is back.

# wigs tucker_carlson triathletes 1970s_pimp_wig ask_tucker balding dacron house_armed_services_committee humor male_appearance mike_rogers political_satire self_image

Tucker Carlson’s Ask Tucker tackles balding at 22, dismissing vanity as irrelevant while mocking societal norms—men are "furry," he claims—and offers two solutions: a 1970s-style Dacron wig (like Rep. Mike Rogers’ secret weapon) or shaving it all off, though only if you stay "triathlete-fit" to avoid looking like a "lumpy" failure. The punchline? Baldness is irreversible, so embrace the absurdity—either commit to the gym or the pimp wig. [Automatically generated summary]
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Speaker	Time	Text
Why Care About Hair? 00:02:17
tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼		Welcome back to Ask Tucker.
	You get to ask me anything because I'm not afraid of people.
	And then I get to give you the answer.
	I'm 22 and I'm already going bald.
	Should I just shave it off?
	Well, my own personal view of this is, like, who cares what a man's hair looks like?
	Honestly, you can tell I don't care that much about my own.
	All men look the same.
	That's the truth.
	They're furry.
	They're loud.
	They're kind of lumpy.
	You wouldn't want to see one naked.
	Nobody cares about the male body.
	Nobody.
	So really, why are you worried about it?
	But as long as you are worried about it and you are going bald, you should know there's probably nothing you can do about it.
	So what's next?
	Well, you have two options.
	You can either, and think deeply about this, go for the rug option, the fake hair.
	And if you do that, and too few people do it, and those who do never admit it, but I'm just going to be blunt with you.
	If you do it, go full 70s pimp wig.
	Just like Dacron, not even joking around.
	Now, hardly anybody does this.
	But there is one person who still does it, and he's in public life.
	In fact, he's the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee.
	And his name is Mike Rogers of Alabama.
	And I want to put his picture on the screen.
	Now, look at that hair.
	That hair.
	All of which was made by the DuPont Company of Wilmington, Delaware.
	That is 100% a reclaimed petroleum product.
	And you look at Mike Rogers and you're like, everybody knows you're wearing a wig.
	Why are you going to the trouble to do it?
	Why are you pretending when the ruse isn't working?
	And then you realize Mike Rogers gets off on the fact that you know it's a wig.
	You know it's a wig.
	He knows it's a wig.
	But nobody says a word about it.
	It's sick, actually.
	It's a weird little pleasure he gets out of it.
	So you can go that route, and I'm not judging you if you do, or you can shave it all off.
	But I would just warn you, if you shave off all of your hair, you've got to stay thin.
	You can't get fat.
	You have to stay fit.
	That's why almost every bald man you ever see is like a triathlete or would-be triathlete.
	So if you commit to that, no more McDonald's for you.
	But if you fall off the wagon, go full Mike Rogers, because at least it's kind of funny, honestly.
	And there's got to be a woman out there who likes it.

Speaker

Time

Text

Why Care About Hair? 00:02:17

tucker carlson ▲ ● ▼

Welcome back to Ask Tucker.

You get to ask me anything because I'm not afraid of people.

And then I get to give you the answer.

I'm 22 and I'm already going bald.

Should I just shave it off?

Well, my own personal view of this is, like, who cares what a man's hair looks like?

Honestly, you can tell I don't care that much about my own.

All men look the same.

That's the truth.

They're furry.

They're loud.

They're kind of lumpy.

You wouldn't want to see one naked.

Nobody cares about the male body.

Nobody.

So really, why are you worried about it?

But as long as you are worried about it and you are going bald, you should know there's probably nothing you can do about it.

So what's next?

Well, you have two options.

You can either, and think deeply about this, go for the rug option, the fake hair.

And if you do that, and too few people do it, and those who do never admit it, but I'm just going to be blunt with you.

If you do it, go full 70s pimp wig.

Just like Dacron, not even joking around.

Now, hardly anybody does this.

But there is one person who still does it, and he's in public life.

In fact, he's the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee.

And his name is Mike Rogers of Alabama.

And I want to put his picture on the screen.

Now, look at that hair.

That hair.

All of which was made by the DuPont Company of Wilmington, Delaware.

That is 100% a reclaimed petroleum product.

And you look at Mike Rogers and you're like, everybody knows you're wearing a wig.

Why are you going to the trouble to do it?

Why are you pretending when the ruse isn't working?

And then you realize Mike Rogers gets off on the fact that you know it's a wig.

You know it's a wig.

He knows it's a wig.

But nobody says a word about it.

It's sick, actually.

It's a weird little pleasure he gets out of it.

So you can go that route, and I'm not judging you if you do, or you can shave it all off.

But I would just warn you, if you shave off all of your hair, you've got to stay thin.

You can't get fat.

You have to stay fit.

That's why almost every bald man you ever see is like a triathlete or would-be triathlete.

So if you commit to that, no more McDonald's for you.

But if you fall off the wagon, go full Mike Rogers, because at least it's kind of funny, honestly.

And there's got to be a woman out there who likes it.

Tucker Carlson - Going bald? Here's what you do. Our advice series, Ask Tucker, is back.

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