Feb. 3, 2024 - The Tucker Carlson Show
02:19
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Welcome back to Ask Tucker. | ||
| You get to ask me anything because I'm not afraid of people. | ||
| And then I get to give you the answer. | ||
| I'm 22 and I'm already going bald. | ||
| Should I just shave it off? | ||
| Well, my own personal view of this is, like, who cares what a man's hair looks like? | ||
| Honestly, you can tell I don't care that much about my own. | ||
| All men look the same. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| They're furry. | ||
| They're loud. | ||
| They're kind of lumpy. | ||
| You wouldn't want to see one naked. | ||
| Nobody cares about the male body. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| So really, why are you worried about it? | ||
| But as long as you are worried about it and you are going bald, you should know there's probably nothing you can do about it. | ||
| So what's next? | ||
| Well, you have two options. | ||
| You can either, and think deeply about this, go for the rug option, the fake hair. | ||
| And if you do that, and too few people do it, and those who do never admit it, but I'm just going to be blunt with you. | ||
| If you do it, go full 70s pimp wig. | ||
| Just like Dacron, not even joking around. | ||
| Now, hardly anybody does this. | ||
| But there is one person who still does it, and he's in public life. | ||
| In fact, he's the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee. | ||
| And his name is Mike Rogers of Alabama. | ||
| And I want to put his picture on the screen. | ||
| Now, look at that hair. | ||
| That hair. | ||
| All of which was made by the DuPont Company of Wilmington, Delaware. | ||
| That is 100% a reclaimed petroleum product. | ||
| And you look at Mike Rogers and you're like, everybody knows you're wearing a wig. | ||
| Why are you going to the trouble to do it? | ||
| Why are you pretending when the ruse isn't working? | ||
| And then you realize Mike Rogers gets off on the fact that you know it's a wig. | ||
| You know it's a wig. | ||
| He knows it's a wig. | ||
| But nobody says a word about it. | ||
| It's sick, actually. | ||
| It's a weird little pleasure he gets out of it. | ||
| So you can go that route, and I'm not judging you if you do, or you can shave it all off. | ||
| But I would just warn you, if you shave off all of your hair, you've got to stay thin. | ||
| You can't get fat. | ||
| You have to stay fit. | ||
| That's why almost every bald man you ever see is like a triathlete or would-be triathlete. | ||
| So if you commit to that, no more McDonald's for you. | ||
| But if you fall off the wagon, go full Mike Rogers, because at least it's kind of funny, honestly. | ||
| And there's got to be a woman out there who likes it. |
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