The Tucker Carlson Show - Tucker Carlson - Going bald? Here's what you do. Our advice series, Ask Tucker, is back.
Aired: 2024-02-03
Duration: 02:19


=== Why Care About Hair? (02:17) ===

[00:00:01]  Welcome back to Ask Tucker.
[00:00:04]  You get to ask me anything because I'm not afraid of people.
[00:00:07]  And then I get to give you the answer.
[00:00:09]  I'm 22 and I'm already going bald.
[00:00:12]  Should I just shave it off?
[00:00:16]  Well, my own personal view of this is, like, who cares what a man's hair looks like?
[00:00:22]  Honestly, you can tell I don't care that much about my own.
[00:00:26]  All men look the same.
[00:00:28]  That's the truth.
[00:00:29]  They're furry.
[00:00:31]  They're loud.
[00:00:31]  They're kind of lumpy.
[00:00:32]  You wouldn't want to see one naked.
[00:00:34]  Nobody cares about the male body.
[00:00:36]  Nobody.
[00:00:37]  So really, why are you worried about it?
[00:00:40]  But as long as you are worried about it and you are going bald, you should know there's probably nothing you can do about it.
[00:00:45]  So what's next?
[00:00:46]  Well, you have two options.
[00:00:47]  You can either, and think deeply about this, go for the rug option, the fake hair.
[00:00:56]  And if you do that, and too few people do it, and those who do never admit it, but I'm just going to be blunt with you.
[00:01:01]  If you do it, go full 70s pimp wig.
[00:01:06]  Just like Dacron, not even joking around.
[00:01:09]  Now, hardly anybody does this.
[00:01:11]  But there is one person who still does it, and he's in public life.
[00:01:14]  In fact, he's the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee.
[00:01:16]  And his name is Mike Rogers of Alabama.
[00:01:18]  And I want to put his picture on the screen.
[00:01:20]  Now, look at that hair.
[00:01:21]  That hair.
[00:01:22]  All of which was made by the DuPont Company of Wilmington, Delaware.
[00:01:25]  That is 100% a reclaimed petroleum product.
[00:01:29]  And you look at Mike Rogers and you're like, everybody knows you're wearing a wig.
[00:01:34]  Why are you going to the trouble to do it?
[00:01:36]  Why are you pretending when the ruse isn't working?
[00:01:39]  And then you realize Mike Rogers gets off on the fact that you know it's a wig.
[00:01:45]  You know it's a wig.
[00:01:46]  He knows it's a wig.
[00:01:47]  But nobody says a word about it.
[00:01:50]  It's sick, actually.
[00:01:51]  It's a weird little pleasure he gets out of it.
[00:01:53]  So you can go that route, and I'm not judging you if you do, or you can shave it all off.
[00:01:57]  But I would just warn you, if you shave off all of your hair, you've got to stay thin.
[00:02:01]  You can't get fat.
[00:02:03]  You have to stay fit.
[00:02:04]  That's why almost every bald man you ever see is like a triathlete or would-be triathlete.
[00:02:09]  So if you commit to that, no more McDonald's for you.
[00:02:13]  But if you fall off the wagon, go full Mike Rogers, because at least it's kind of funny, honestly.
[00:02:18]  And there's got to be a woman out there who likes it.