Jean-Luc Brunel’s suspicious death in La Santé Prison—officially ruled suicide at 75—exposes gaps in France’s prison oversight, where no cell cameras allowed guards to miss his hanging. A key Epstein-linked trafficker who procured underage girls for orgies via agencies like MC2, Brunel allegedly fled a deposition and died days after a $16.3M settlement silenced Virginia Giuffre’s abuse claims against Prince Andrew, whose royal protection stifled justice. Victims like Theisa Hoizman doubt suicide, citing Brunel’s ties to Trump-era elites and Epstein’s network, while his bookkeeper warned of similar fates for Maxwell. The episode twists from prison failures to royal impunity, framing both as systems shielding predators. [Automatically generated summary]
I want to remember this every time I've been sick and I've felt that you've tossed it aside.
No care at all.
Well, I'm trying to think of when.
When you got COVID during the trial of the century, that's your fault for trying to make out with Ghelane Maxwell.
That never happened.
That did happen.
I saw it.
This will be our final episode of the show and of my life.
This is going to be the worst episode in True Anon history.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
I can't even read the notes.
I'm here.
I'm going to steer the ship.
I'm the Sully Sullenberg of Truanon.
I hate Sully.
That shit's that's here.
Check this out.
That was fake.
What?
Sully?
Yeah, it didn't happen.
It just is Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks is that's the only version of when it happened.
It didn't in my head.
What kind of thing?
I don't even remember it happening.
What kind of movie could you even make out of that?
You know what I'm saying?
That's what I'm saying.
So this is what, so the Sully movie, which what was it?
Was it called like Birds on the Plane or whatever?
I think it was called Captain Sullivan.
Okay, whatever.
Yeah.
So Birds on the Plane?
Well, didn't that happen?
I don't know.
Didn't the birds get in the plane?
That does.
They didn't get in the plane.
They usually, I think they fly into the engine.
And that's like why he had to crash land it?
I don't know.
Like a fucking bird.
I'm telling you here, he did not crash land that plane.
No, but what I'm saying, that was, is that the first, like, I feel like that is when this horrible trend of like news direct to movie and TV show kind of like started to really get rolling.
Well, Tom Hanks is the king of that.
Dude, that was, and the movie came out like right away.
That's why everyone only remembers the stupid fucking movie, you know.
Then it's a fake incident.
It didn't actually happen.
No one watched it.
No one watched it.
Yeah.
Well, the whole thing's a fiction.
So I, of course.
But Tom Hanks also played Captain Phillips, another thing that didn't actually.
You're telling me pirates are real.
You're telling me the guys who, oh, I'm on the Black Pearl, that those guys are not only real, but now they're African and they have Captain Sully Solenberger as a hostage.
You're sucking my dick.
That's insane.
That's so insane.
My name is Brace.
That's when he hit the volleyball, right?
No, that's.
My man loves a wreck.
Yeah, he does.
A natural wreck.
Yeah, it sounds like something.
If there's like, you know, a ship, a plane, a fucking space shuttle, a rocket is crashing, anything crashing, Tom Hanks is on it.
Yeah, you got to put him on it.
Yeah, I don't like the guy.
Oh, wait, that's the intro?
Yeah, of course.
Okay, that's fine.
So I just got back from one of the worst weekends of my life.
Oh, my God.
Why AlphaCon Wasn't Worth It00:05:28
Maybe it's not one of the worst weeks.
It didn't even happen.
It can't be the worst one if it didn't happen.
That's, I don't even know.
I don't even have anything to say to that, Liz, because I'm telling you my lived experience right now.
Oh, my God.
I got a call on like Wednesday to go to Salt Lake City to go to AlphaCon.
Yeah, I still don't totally know what this is, but it appears to be a seminar of people who give seminars.
Like they're all guys who kind of just give each other real estate advice without ever buying.
I'm assuming, not knowing anything, that it is like guys who have inspirational Instagram accounts about Rise and Grind, but are also like real estate mega agents, but also think that you should buy their like audiobooks so that you can learn how to get up in the morning and go paleo.
Well, it's kind of like that, except dumber.
Like I realize that there's, I mean, I've known this for a while, but there's a whole economy of people who obviously like anybody who's like my advice-giving type of person is they're making all their money and giving that advice.
Like these people don't have actual secret million dollar businesses.
They're just selling you courses.
And there's like a whole ecosystem of these guys.
And they have conferences like AlphaCon.
If you look up the main character of AlphaCon, the guy who set it up, a guy named The Bull, he wears, these guys love wearing really tight pants, but also Chelsea boots.
But the pants don't cover like the Chelsea boot.
They kind of like, they stop about an inch up from like the, the, where, you know, the top of the shoe.
So it looks like they're like a chino, like a very tight chino.
Yeah, very tight chino.
And so it just kind of looks like they're dressed like a woman.
What's the, what's that like mail order suit company that has retail stores now?
They kind of like have that kind of Euro, Euro tight tight sleeves style.
Suit supply.
That's what I'm thinking.
Here's the thing.
Here's a classic suit supply look.
Here's what I noticed about these guys who make a lot of money talking about real estate is that you have to both get, let's say, slightly to three quarters overweight and then get the tightest suit possible.
Like you have to get like size 20 pants on a size 43 waist or something.
Like it's, you can't do anything except for that.
It's not just the pants, though.
It's also the jacket.
It's the jacket.
It's the shirt.
Oh my gosh.
The shirt is like about to pop.
The shirts are insane.
It's crazy.
Looked at all these guys.
I looked at these guys' Instagrams for so long that I started getting ads for tight, like specifically tight top shirts.
They fly us out there, and it's at this fucking hotel in Salt Lake City that has a harp player in the goddamn lobby.
That sounds nice.
This, this, yeah, I know, but this lady's just out there playing harp like a slave on a yacht.
Oh, she's probably a harp player.
Eight hours a day.
She's probably paid.
These rooms are $600 a night.
We're out there.
We get there Thursday.
It starts Friday.
You know, we go to the Mexican cowboy store to get some accouchements.
And while we're there, they fucking call us and they're like, oh, you guys actually can't come to the conference anymore.
The conference that they flew us out to, they put us up for.
And I'm like, so we're just in Salt Lake City now.
The guy doesn't budge and bans us from going.
He's like, have a good time in Salt Lake City.
Now, what did he see that made him switch a ru?
Well, I'll be real.
If I flopper, I mean, I went out.
I went out there.
I went out there with Channel 5, and I got to be real.
I can't really fathom inviting them or allowing them or me to go to your conference.
People do that for some reason.
Yeah, see, I understand giving them access, just like you're like, okay, fine, press access.
Okay.
But like flying out, inviting, and like being like, please come.
Yeah.
You would love the coverage.
It's like, have you looked at the coverage?
I'm not sure.
Like, not all press is good.
Although it truthfully would be because so many people watch those videos that some asshole would be like, let me, I think I should buy a condominium in downtown Salt Lake from this man in the tightest suit.
He looks like he's dressed in his son, his baby son's Sunday suit.
I wonder if they perhaps got it like mixed up with another Channel 5, like a local news channel.
It does make it.
Oh, yeah.
It's just like the Salt Lake City Channel 5 news.
Everyone watches Channel 5.
Well, that's the thing.
I think that they, well, these guys all do YouTube videos.
And I looked at the main guy's YouTube channel.
He gets about 50 views a video.
He has hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers.
Obviously, all of them bought because you can tell because there's no comments or actual any interaction.
Oh, yeah, I love that.
And I think he was just like, I don't know what.
I mean, I don't think it had that great a turnout.
So I think that they probably pulled it because they didn't want people to see that.
But also, Tommy Laron, who I want to really get to know very, you know, and she got scheduled to speak.
And I think that her people were probably like, why did you invite people who are going to make us look like how we look?
Yeah.
I think they probably take that good point.
So I spent 24 hours in Salt Lake City.
Was uh um well hello everyone.
Modeling Epstein's Trafficking Network00:15:11
I'm now I have COVID.
My name is Liz.
My name is Brace.
This is my final message.
We are, of course, as always, joined by very healthy producer Young Chomsky, and you are listening to Trunon.
And that was also the story of Brace's weekend.
My bad weekend.
Well, you had a bad weekend.
Segue this.
I'm believing.
But not as bad of a weekend as one man.
Yes.
Who died?
This is, you know, I'm sitting there.
I'm sitting there in bed, you know, being not yet symptomatic, but feeling a little shitty, but a little confused, maybe.
Like, do I feel sick?
But I'm probably fine.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe the altitude.
I got my little catamites doing the palm frond thing at me.
I got like women putting wet washcloths on my enthralling.
And what do I see on my iPad?
But Jean-Luc Burnell has died.
No, but that was just like something like a guy who has like child slaves would have.
Oh, okay.
Jean-Luc Brunel is dead.
Jean-Luc Brunel is dead.
Let's get the sirens going for this.
Yeah, this is crazy.
This is actually, I can't do this justice because I'm so sick and I thus cannot intone.
And it's been a couple days.
But Jean-Luc Burnell has committed suicide via hanging, allegedly in prison.
In Paris.
In Gay Perry, in the heart of Paris, too, in the La Sante prison.
Yeah.
The most French thing ever, having the prison in the center of the town.
Yeah, they charge really high rent for a cell there, too.
It's crazy.
Yes.
So Jean-Luc Brunel, like you said, found hanging in a cell at La Santa Prison in Paris around 1:30 a.m. last Saturday.
Now, there seems to be some debate among, I just want to say, some papers identified him as 76, some papers identified him as 75, and some even as 74.
And there is debate actually about how old he is because no one can actually find a birth certificate for him.
Very strange family, he comes.
It's funny.
I was actually looking through our old notes on him last night, and I realized that we couldn't figure out how old he was too.
Like, I thought he was born in 1946.
He might not have been.
Yeah.
Jean-Luc Brunel is not his real name.
No one even knows the name of his sister.
It's like, yeah, it's totally, he's got a very weird, weird background.
We should definitely link to those episodes, by the way, because we've done a couple episodes on him where we kind of go into depth on his kind of entire operation.
But before we talk about him, like, you know, in relation to the Epstein Network, let's go through what happened on Saturday.
So he, like we said, he was in La Santa prison in Paris.
He was arrested last, not last, but previous, not last Christmas, but the Christmas before.
Yes.
And he had already been kind of labeled a vulnerable person.
Oh, they should put me in there.
Yeah, in French prison.
So he was being kind of patrolled by like six, five or six, maybe even seven guards.
And the French prisons are a little bit different.
So like they don't actually, like if you go on Suicide Watch, they don't just like let you be on Suicide Watch.
And they, they, they have like pretty strict privacy laws for inmates.
So they, there's only like, so they don't have cameras actually in the cells and stuff because they, you know, they think it violates privacy.
But yeah, so if you're put on suicide watch, they basically like transfer you to one little section before they send you to a mental hospital.
So he tried to kill himself a few times.
It came out.
This hadn't actually previously, I think, been reported until after he killed himself.
But he'd attempted suicide in the past while in prison.
Yes.
And I don't think I read actually how he had done it.
But in fact, I think they were deliberately vague on that.
Yeah.
But I guess this time he succeeded.
Have you looked at the pictures of the actual cell?
I mean, I don't think it's his cell necessarily, but the kind of cell he's in.
Someone found dug up some pictures of those.
It's like very French looking.
There's a burner in it.
You can cook food.
A little like Wes Anderson looking, I guess.
Like in that way where like even, you know, like, you know, everything's a little like pretty charming in France, even though like kind of like more like 60s, 70s stuff, you know, it's a little like Nouvelle Vogue.
He's got like his little writing desk.
The bed's very small, which I think is like a twee thing for some reason because like you're kind of sexless.
My thing is, if you're going to kill somebody or if you're going to do any kind of major crime, you got to do it in Western Europe because I'm telling you, these cells they got, they are like sweets.
I mean, this is better than some apartments I've lived in, for Christ's sake.
So he's been getting hit with more and more charges as time goes on.
And they've added up to rape, to sex trafficking, to sexual harassment.
And so I think, I mean, the case was against him was getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
And it is, I got to say, a pretty insane, great disappointment that he actually was either successful in killing himself or someone else killed him because I think the case against Brunel was probably going to be a lot more explosive than even the case against Ghelane would have been.
Yeah.
One of his victims, Theisa Hoizman, who's a model who he, you know, allegedly trafficked.
I mean, she's and raped.
He, she had this comment to say, which I think was like very poignant.
Jean-Luc Brunel, the model agent who raped me and countless other victims, has been found dead in his prison cell.
He supposedly hung himself last night.
How do I feel about this?
I'm in shock, angry, disappointed, and speechless.
Thoughts run through my head.
Was this really suicide or was he killed?
Brunel was not a man who would kill himself.
He was convinced he was going to get out of jail soon.
Strange, no?
And for me personally, it feels disappointing.
I have been fighting for years and I imagined I would feel closure if Brunel would stand trial.
This is a completely different ending without any real justice for his victims.
Yeah, I mean, it really does feel that way where it's like, before we talk about the actual like suicide itself, you know, what he was kind of running and accused of running with Epstein, I mean, just that this whole kind of side has now been closed without any resolution for the girls is, I don't know.
Yeah, no, I mean, it is.
I mean, with, with, with, with Brunel especially, his reach was so far and his actual participation in it was greater than even than Ghillain's.
I mean, he was himself like a rapist of some renown.
Um, and to get out of or to have himself taken out of the running for a trial here or for any sort of public accountability after decades and decades and decades and decades of dodging for it, having it covered up by other people he was in business with, including some people who are still pretty prominent today.
Um, it's just, I mean, it's just such a massive disappointment.
I think too, like looking into the Brunel angle, which I do think the kind of like U.S. journalists have and West, like American journalists have kind of done a poor job of.
I mean, most of the reporting is really in Europe, which kind of makes sense.
But also, like, when you look into this side, this kind of this aspect of the Epstein story, the kind of, I would say, vastness or the size and scope of the like network and the operation that they,
that these guys were running kind of comes into focus in a different way than you're reading the, you know, salacious, you know, exciting names of American politicians and scientists and whatever in the press going, you know, private jets and whatever.
Like, because what Brunel and Epstein were running was a very, I mean, was like a trafficking operation disguised as a like normal business that had connections in the U.S. State Department and they were running it for years.
Yeah.
I mean, with Brunel.
So, I mean, you got to think about how Epstein got a lot of the girls that he got, right?
I mean, a lot has been made about Ghelane Maxwell basically being his procure for quite a long time, going out to high schools, shopping malls, et cetera, to get girls.
But there was another aspect of this, which is a lot of the foreign girls that were around and whose stories really have been a lot more elusive.
In fact, almost entirely elusive outside of a few prominent names like Nadia Marchinkova.
You know, there's testimony from some of Epstein's American victims about seeing sometimes like a dozen girls from Eastern Europe on his island, you know, young girls.
Virginia Jeffrey has a story about how she was, you know, forced to participate in this arrangement with seven Russian girls that Brunel had got.
Those girls, you know, we have not heard from them at all.
You know, I suspect a lot of them were probably brought over here on, quote, modeling contracts.
But the truth of it is if you look at Brunel's whole career, the man was a pimp for decades, right?
And the man was a human trafficker for decades.
And so we're seeing actually this like major foreign component of Epstein's operation.
And this is a major, major, major part.
I mean, Ghelane Maxwell, yes, she is a huge part of this in a lot of ways from, you know, any intelligence angle, but also to any trafficking angle.
But Brunel himself is such a crucial part.
In fact, probably more crucial in terms of trafficking.
And that it is, it is proven to be really difficult to actually track down a lot of this stuff.
I mean, the testimony from his former bookkeeper alone, Maurita Vasquez, talks about him having all these arrangements with basically madams in Brazil, going to Eastern Europe.
I mean, we talk about this in our previous episode on him, but he was most likely the person who purchased.
And that's, you know, the word is that Epstein bought this sex slave or this young girl from, I think, former Yugoslavia, Nadia Marchinkova, and brought her over here, you know, got her a visa and all that stuff.
It's really astounding how prolific Brunel was.
And I mean, it makes sense, but that he's dead from a lot of angles.
But it's really like it's such a disappointment in terms of getting any justice out of this.
So in case you haven't listened to our previous episodes about that, first of all, what the hell is wrong with you?
Go back and listen to that.
But two, I do want to say that, so Epstein and Brunel were in business together.
They had a, I'm using air quotes here, but you can't see, air quote modeling agency called MC2.
But really, it was just a human trafficking operation for basically Epstein and Brunel's purposes.
But they were in business together.
Jean-Luc Brunel was a model scout.
He had an agency prior to that called Karen Models, which was pretty big.
And Karen basically ended up getting kind of folded into MC2 at some point in the, I don't know, late 90s, early 2000s when these two fucking goons got together.
But Brunel, you know, like we said, Ghillane introduced Brunel to Epstein, which is an interesting detail.
And the three of them were kind of BFFs.
A couple years back, some photos came out of the three of them just looking like, I don't know, like they're having like the time of their lives at Epstein's Palm Beach house.
Yeah, that great picture of Brunel in the Israeli army or Israel Army hat.
Yeah, it's a classico.
But also Brunel, we should say too, it's like Brunel has mad connections to Trump and that, and all of that through the modeling world as well.
And just a whole, you know, a lot of unsavory, I don't know, scout-type males, we'll say, that make up that industry.
But so at some point, there was a lawsuit against Epstein that Brunel had been called to give a deposition in, right?
Yeah, so the all right.
So Brunel and Epstein later had some kind of falling out.
You know, on one hand, MC2 was functioning barely, it seems like, as a legit modeling agency for some of its clients, although it was serving basically as a front for Brunel to go to foreign countries and talk to and procure the services of very young girls.
But after Epstein was arrested for having sex with a child, Brunel decided that that was pretty bad press in terms of actually getting young girls to sign up for his modeling agency.
So he sues Epstein for loss of business.
And there's a really funny part of this because, you know, Brunel was set to testify or give deposition in a case against Epstein.
And he goes into detail.
It says, second, plaintiff Brunel was also told by Epstein to leave the Palm Beach area in anticipation of a deposition of plaintiff Brunel in a criminal case against Epstein.
On the direct advice of Epstein, Plaintiff Brunel went to Europe and Asia for a period of time.
This was done for the sole purpose of delaying plaintiff Brunel's deposition.
As a direct result of plaintiff Brunel's travels, his deposition was delayed twice.
When it was finally scheduled for November 2009, plaintiff Brunel was in fact available.
However, a medical emergency in the family of his attorney, yeah, right, further delayed his deposition.
It was never rescheduled and he was never deposed.
This is a blatant example of obstruction of justice in the criminal case.
Epstein was solely responsible for telling plaintiff Brunel to leave the area.
Plaintiff Brunel lost a huge opportunity to clear his name and that of his agency, plaintiff MC2.
What Brunel is saying here is, I cannot believe this son of a bitch Epstein told me to leave the country so I couldn't give a deposition in a criminal case against him.
And that I did that.
Yeah, that's like, I mean, come on, that's your fault.
It's your fault.
You're literally saying I took his advice and then I went out of the country so I didn't get deposed.
And now I'm pissed I wasn't deposed.
Brunel's Hidden Information00:09:22
It's pretty incredible.
There's all these, there's all these letters from, I think, like Nordstroms and stuff in support of Brunel's getting a visa here in the first place.
And then there's a series of emails from former clients of his saying that they can no longer work with him because his name is associated with human trafficking.
And there's a lot of like smiley faces and like, oh, I hope you're doing well, Sean Luc.
Unfortunately, there's been some press about your company and pedophilia.
And so unfortunately, well, the mothers of some of our models don't feel comfortable working with you anymore.
I mean, the thing is about Brunel is that he'd been known to be, I mean, he was in this world.
Again, like you should really listen to our previous 30 years.
Yes.
Like this guy, this guy, there's like not been a day that's gone by where this guy hasn't had a rape accusation against him.
And also accusations of him pimping girls out to wealthy clients that he was friends with.
Well, Virginia Jeffrey, I mean, she accused Brunel of that very same thing.
She, you know, she just settled a civil lawsuit with Prince Andrew, which we're going to talk about in a second.
But she wrote in a court affidavit in 2015 that Jeffrey Epstein told me he had slept with over a thousand of Brunel's girls.
The men loved orgies with kids.
That is having sexual interactions with many young teenagers at the same time.
Sometimes as many as 10 underage girls would participate in a single orgy with them.
I personally observed dozens of these orgies.
She also said that she was that Brunel was there during a bunch of, you know, so-called photo shoots on Epstein's Island with Brunel.
And, you know, they'd have a ton of models and that Ghillain would often be there, the one taking the photos.
Yeah, that makes sense.
She was into photography.
Yeah.
And, you know, so it was like, you know, Brunel was when Epstein got arrested, Brunel went underground pretty quickly.
I think the last time he was seen in public was at the Paris Country Club.
I think the same month Epstein was arrested in July 2019.
I wonder if Epstein, because you know Epstein was coming from Paris when he got arrested.
Yeah.
I wonder if they were, you know.
Yeah, it's interesting.
It's hard to get a real handle on like what his relationships were like with people sort of post-arrest in Florida.
Just because there's less documentation.
You know, we have all these documents basically from before 2007.
Then afterwards, I mean, I think in large part because he killed himself, we don't really have a lot of insight into that.
But yeah, I mean, the thing is, there's a, there's with Brunel's suicide, like, yeah, it's not unsurprising.
Maybe a guy who is facing, I mean, probably the rest of his life in prison.
I mean, definitely 70 fucking five years old.
Definitely the rest of his life in prison.
Or perhaps 74.
True.
So maybe the rest of his life in prison.
You know, okay, like maybe he would kill himself, but there's also probably a lot of people out there, including a lot of people who we may not even know the names of, that would want this guy out of the picture, right?
You know, he is a lot less to lose than someone like Delaney Maxwell.
Yeah, okay.
So let's talk about this.
The judicial police is going to launch an investigation into the cause of death, which I bet they're just doing that as a, I mean, because they're going on the offensive, I think, here.
I don't think that that's something they would do for every suicide that happens in jail.
Yeah.
But I will say that you mentioned Maritza Vasquez, and she gave a quote to the Miami Herald.
And this is, you know, again, Maritsa Vasquez, who was Brunel's longtime bookkeeper at MC2, she said, this is what she said to the Miami Herald.
The same thing happened with Epstein, and somebody probably killed Jean-Luc 2.
Ghillain Maxwell is going to be the next to commit suicide in jail.
They're going to kill her also because they have to disappear these people to protect the big fish.
I mean, exactly.
The thing with Brunel, and the reason why I was so interested in Brunel's case, too, is because Brunel is sort of the third part of the like Epstein Maxwell like triangle there.
You know what I mean?
Like totally.
The third, like really like most like core person.
Rhizome.
Exactly.
I don't even know what a rhizome is.
But he's like really integral to the whole operation.
But he is also like, he's not from high society.
Like he doesn't have these same actual connections.
Like he is more of like an act a lower class scumbag than Maxwell or Epstein.
And thus he has less to lose.
Like if you know, if he flies in a plane with Pastrana, Pastrana's not there because of Brunel.
Pastrana's there because of Epstein.
But Brunel is also there and he can talk about it.
And so, you know, I was thinking if there's anybody that was ever going to talk, that was ever going to sort of spill the beans, it would be this, you know, sort of delirious French cokehead.
But that is just not in the cards, is it?
I mean, you know, he probably has so much dirt on everybody from fucking Eileen Ford to who knows how many world leaders.
And it all died with him in La Sante prison.
Do you think he killed himself?
I.
I don't.
You don't think he did?
No.
I think she's.
It's a guess, obviously.
I mean, I work on the same information as everybody else.
this is welcome to the speculation zone uh brace Yeah.
You know, sit back, relax.
Don't worry about it.
Like, no one has to be right or wrong.
This is a safe space.
Let's do some speculating.
Get your speculation on.
All right.
I'll spec up right now.
Yeah.
I'm going to spec up.
I think Brunel.
I think Brunel probably had a lot of information that is probably going to go to the grave with him.
I don't think he was.
I don't think he was that sophisticated of an operator to sort of leave himself any kind of insurance.
And it is.
I mean, this is going to be obvious.
I mean, we've sort of behind the scenes here.
It's a little difficult, more difficult to find out stuff about French legal cases than it is about American legal cases.
So there hasn't been a whole lot of like insight into actually how his, you know, the case against him was going.
But it's, it's over now, you know, like this is a loose end.
This is firmly tied up.
And if he did kill himself, well, same kind of thing.
He might not want that stuff getting out there either.
At the end of the day, all the information that we know that he did have, that's not speculation.
He did have this information.
That information is now gone.
That loose end is tied up.
It's like how when you would cut your shoelaces, you burn it with a fucking lighter to get the toilet.
It's been burned.
Yeah.
Fully.
By you.
You know, my like gut check, my gut says that he did kill himself.
But I have no reason to believe that other than that's just what like my gut says.
Because I do think as a man of 74, perhaps 75 or potentially 76 years old, I think that he saw, you know, his girl Ghoulain go down.
Epstein's dead.
Yeah.
And Andrew just got, had to go fucking settle his civil case with like no monarchy protecting anybody, no reducted intelligence agency protecting anybody.
Like everyone kind of left out on their own.
Yeah.
And he's in a fucking, you know, cutesy little twee Wes Anderson cell in Paris looking out the window like little ratatouille looking at the Eiffel Tower, like, you know, yearning for freedom.
I just, I, he seems like such a fucking like piece of shit coward that I kind of think that he fucking did it.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm not totally opposed to that either.
I mean, you know, also, maybe G did try to kill himself before.
And I got to say, at 75, if the rest of my life looked like court cases where people were calling me a rapist, I'd probably kill myself too.
Yeah.
I mean, he also did not look very healthy.
Who knows how much longer he had to live?
Here's the thing.
But the French are kind of like, you know, all that smoking sort of like embalms them from the inside.
Well, the thing about cocaine too, baby, is because one thing we know about cocaine, or one thing we know about Brunel, excuse me, but the two are hard to separate, is the man loved his little Peruvian marching powder.
And if you do cocaine for long enough, you just have to keep doing cocaine or else you die.
Like you can't stop.
Like your body needs it.
It's like, it's like, I don't know how some people get addicted to melatonin or like Adderall or something.
Why Small Ears Matter00:02:26
Like you need it.
It could change his chemistry, like his blood chemistry.
And now he just like could have functioned.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, that's how Hollywood kind of came into its modern incarnation is because of this performance enhancing drug.
so he uh i i mean yeah he could also just be if you give one hell of a comedown too decided to end it all but i'll tell you one thing If that end, if that loose end is wrapped up, there's another one that's also wrapped up.
The worst segue I've ever done in my entire life.
That's just to prove I'm sick.
I think Leon Champs is probably going to edit out all the times that I've had to cough and then start a sentence again.
Well, yeah, he's not going to leave it in with you coughing.
He has to leave it in.
You know that you've coughed in other episodes and it doesn't show up in the episode.
I don't know.
I cough while I'm listening to them, so I can't tell what's real and what's on it.
What's in my damn headphones?
Let me ask you this about headphones.
How do people get AirPods to stay in?
You know, they fall out all the time.
Is that just what I assumed?
Is that true?
No, I mean, they do stay in, but mine, like, I don't know.
I think I have like kind of small ears.
Yeah.
And they don't like stay in there.
They're like not comfortable.
Yeah.
Pick your headphone off real quick.
Let me see your ear.
Let's do an ear check.
No, this looks totally normal to me.
I don't know what the hell we want to talk about anything.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
What do you think?
That's a yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, it just looks like, okay.
Well, then I don't know what my problem is.
We were always saying shit like, I have small ears.
Like, what are you talking about?
Small ears?
No, no, no disrespect.
But wouldn't that mean that they could stay in easier?
No, no, because it's like they're too small so the things pop out.
Oh, gotcha.
That still doesn't make sense to me, but I believe in your lived.
Not like they fall out, but like they kind of like they.
Oh, their pressure gets too tight.
And so it builds up and shoots them out like a mento situation.
I don't like them, but I use them sometimes when I'm cleaning the house.
I just saw a thing that was saying that wired headphones are retro now.
And I'm like, I just.
Yeah, they are.
They come with the phone.
No, they don't.
Anyways.
When did they say you got a phone?
Queen Elizabeth's Face Muddle00:12:39
I'm like, oh, four years ago, I think they came with it.
I don't know.
What else would I have gotten them?
Oh, my God.
So they don't even have a jack for the headphones now.
Oh, mine does.
Prince Andrew is dead.
No, he's not.
But I'm mixing up the news here.
Yeah.
So, like we said, Virginia Jeffrey, she settled her civil case with Prince Andrew after he was pretty much very clearly left out to drive by everyone that could possibly wash their hands of him.
One of his ex-girlfriends, I can't remember her name, but she has his back and is like posting shit about the fucking Jeffrey video, or excuse me, picture being fake and stuff.
But no one important has his head.
Yeah, no one's.
Yeah.
So they settled out of court for a, as at the time when the news broke, undisclosed, later becomes disclosed.
It came out.
It was about 12 million pounds.
All right, let's be clear.
It got disclosed like an hour after.
Yeah, basically.
But I'm just saying that they settled it, they were like, no one can know.
Yeah.
Well, it's officially quiet, but then I think they're probably leaked it to show how generous he is.
I don't know why.
But that's all I've done.
I just said that's about $16.3 million.
That's a lot of fucking money.
That's a lot of fucking money.
As far as I know, he gets a 20,000 pound Royal Navy pension and he gets a 250,000 pound a year stipend for being a pedophile.
And so I'm not sure exactly where this money came from.
Successfully, the Queen and Charles were giving him loans, which, by the way, I just want to say, we can just keep going.
Where's their money from?
Yeah.
The fucking British people.
That's where the money is from.
All of it's from.
But that's also, that's where their right to rule.
Well, no, their right to rule comes from God, actually, I guess.
But the thing with Andrew, too, is Andrew's notoriously the worst with money.
Like he's constantly in hockey to like some obscure banker in like a northern in Italy, like local regional bank or something.
Like the man is the most indebted man in Europe.
That's why Fergie was always like peddling memoirs and diet shapes.
Yeah.
She's like, you work for the man on Sunday.
I'll show you my nipple.
If you give me 20 quid, like Prince Andrew, he needs a fucking eel pie or he's gonna he's gonna, he's gonna flip his wiki.
That's what she's always saying.
But yeah, he has basically, I mean, this is, he's, I read it, you read a statement, right?
Yeah.
He doesn't admit to anything, but he admires her bravery in coming forward.
So that's so brave of you to tell everyone that I raped you.
Yeah, I'm not admitting to anything, but good for you for being so brave.
Also, here's a substantial donation to your victims' rights charity, and I'm going to give you 12 million pounds, but also I didn't do anything.
Yeah.
There was zero mention of Ghillain anywhere, even though, you know, her townhouse was the site of one of the alleged incidences, incidences, incidents of abuse.
Yeah.
And, you know, Andrew, of course, consistently denied all the accusations all the time.
Everyone remembers the famous BBC interview where he's sweating like a pig and then says that he can't sweat.
Yeah.
Like you said, the photograph, he always maintained that the photograph was a forgery.
And with his statement and with the settlement, that basically ends also any kind of further questions about all of this, right?
Yeah.
Well, there was a lot of like kind of, there's been a couple mass confusion events around the news this week.
One is that the cameras in Brunel's cell weren't working when in fact they just did not exist in the first place.
That was something that I had a lot of people kind of like DM me to be like I think the Daily Mail reported that with like no basis.
Yeah, I think he corrected like 10 minutes later, but that was damage done.
Fake news.
Fake out.
There we go.
I was wondering how you'd finish that one.
Let's set a little music there.
And you did it all.
I did a really cool synchronized, well, because I was a synchronized swimmer, so I can do it.
Yeah, of course.
And the other little bit of misconception that's been floating around, like, you know, when you leave a glass of water out for like seven days at the top of a shelf in a closet and you go back in there and you drink it.
This is such a classic guy thing.
So thirsty.
Another thing that's been floating around, like that little stuff that you swallow up.
Put the water away.
Has been in my gullet.
It's still good.
I just rinse it out.
Okay.
Yes, with my mouth like a whale.
So is that Prince Andrew was going to face a criminal court, that the case against him was going to be played out like he was going to have people thought that?
A lot of people still think this, that this was not just, this is not a civil case, that this is a criminal case.
No, this was a civil case.
There was never any chance that Prince Andrew was going to do any jail time or anything like that.
This was a likely outcome of the case.
I mean, I think that I didn't ever expect it.
I mean, we said on the show that neither of us ever expected this to actually get to the point where like there's people on the stand or anything like this.
And it didn't, but it was surprising to me how quickly that they wrapped this up because they were really trying to fight this to even getting to the point where they would have to have a settlement whatsoever.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it seems like Andrew was like trying all his like, you know, royal, like kind of, you know, feeble jujitsu moves where he was like, you know, oh, uh, it's fake.
Oh, I'm not going to do it.
Oh, also, I'm covered by the non-prosecution agreement.
And also, um, she's a liar.
And also, wait, there's no jurisdiction.
And also, like, none of his challenges worked.
And I think either kind of like staring it down, like, all right, man, you're, you're, you're up at the timeline where you're going to have to give a deposition or, you know, tie to this all.
Or like, and don't, don't forget that it is the Queen's Jubilee this year.
She ain't going to make it.
And well, I'm going to talk about that bitch in a second.
And, you know, can't be Sullying, Sully Sullenberging, the Queen's Jubilee.
So I'm not surprised that they kind of wrapped it up.
But I am, it does, you know, again, like you said, another little thing tied.
Case closed.
And yeah, and that's the thing with this is that like, I mean, I can't lie and say that I'm not disappointed that this did not at all get into the point where the heat was turned up a little bit.
I mean, again, like I never expected this for a variety of reasons to actually get to trial, but I did think that like it would get a little further than this.
I mean, whether what I don't, I maybe, maybe that's just me being, I don't know, a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, hopeful guy.
But yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm just sort of, it's almost like whiplash, you know, like both of these huge, huge facets.
I mean, really Brunel more than Andrew, but, but, you know, two major players in the Epstein network basically have their entire avenues cut off barely a month after, or I guess, yeah, barely a month after Ghelane herself essentially has her very limited in scope trial finished up with too.
I guess I would also say that, like, yeah, I do, I mean, I, I do think that Brunel was more key to the network than Andrew, who's just like a fucking disgusting pig.
Yeah.
However, I'm surprised that the settlement happened.
I wonder if he had to like kind of beg for the money, but like that, um, I guess it's like, you know, okay, his reputation is already tarnished before the settlement.
Like the meeting, you know, there's no coming back, obviously.
Yeah.
Is that he got basically thrown out of the house?
No royal duties, no nothing.
Um, you know, no allowance or whatever.
And like, this will be the first line in his obituary.
Yeah.
Like it just like, this is it.
This is who he is.
And so I'm like, still, like, I guess I'm still, so I was still hoping that maybe the crown was going to say, like, fuck it.
But they're never going to let anything come out about the royal family on paper.
They'll allow rumors.
Everyone knows there's rumors of every monarch for being like a sick pervert because they all are.
And all of the rumors are true.
Lord Button.
They were never going to allow any of it to be on paper.
That's what I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, I mean, that's, it's done.
I think, what do you think?
What do you think is going to happen to Andrew after this?
What do you think of the trajectory of old Andrew's life?
Oh, I do want to say too: the day that Jean-Luc Brunel died, Prince Andrew's birthday.
Really?
Yes.
That's such a little cosmic kiss.
Yes, I know.
You know, it's 2-2, 2-2 today.
Okay, wait, this, this should be International Women's Day because he keeps telling me about this.
Really?
What does that mean?
What do you mean?
I'm sure it's like an angel.
I'm sure some astrology girl out there is like, it's an angel number.
The Lionsgate is opening.
Just kidding.
Lionsgate opens in August.
The only angel number I know is your phone number, which I will read out loud on our podcast right now.
So here's my prediction for Andrew.
I think that, I mean, look, the tabloids are never going to let him go.
Right.
And people are still going to kind of bug him about this, but probably just like kind of on the periphery, I think everyone's sort of like, eh, now it's done.
I don't, I don't, I doubt there'll be another high-profile civil suit by a victim.
I don't know.
But I kind of doubt that.
And I think that, you know, you got old Queen Mum is knocking on death's door.
And I feel like when that fucking happens, the show, the insufferable show that the UK media is going to put on when the beloved queen mum finally passes, descends into hell where she belongs.
All this will get swept under and it'll be like, oh, problematic, grossy pedo, Andrew.
We love him, little chum.
You know?
Personally, I think she should have died in the 1980s when she had sex with that monkey in Africa.
This bitch has been dead to me for years.
But I do think it's funny.
I mean, she's probably dead, right?
All right.
So I want to, I don't know.
Let's not try to cover for ourselves here because you've thought Queen Elizabeth has been dead like three.
You've been on Elizabeth Death Watch for like years now.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, in my defense, her soul has been dead for, well, since she, you know, took the, took the throne.
My whole thing with Queen Elizabeth is I can't really tell old ladies apart.
So they could just have a different one up there every time she's done.
No way.
No way.
First of all, she doesn't just have old lady face.
Yeah, she does.
She has a old lady face, but she doesn't have like old lady face blindness, which I think is what you're saying.
I don't think that she kind of blurs in.
I will say, someone showed me an Instagram video the other day from Buckingham Palace, which is also, yeah, I don't know why anyone is following Buckingham Palace on banned from it.
But they had like a montage video of the queen like kind of walking around.
And I got to say, like, I was like, damn, she looks like she's in good shape.
Like she, I swear to God, Biden is in worse shape than Queen Elizabeth.
Absolutely.
And she's like a thousand years old.
Biden is like among a group of politicians that I have in my head that I sort of group together.
Like Eric Adams is another one.
We're like, I kind of secretly think that they maybe have like, let's say, one of the cephales, if you know what I mean.
I agree.
I see where you're going with the mayor, but I'm going to say this about Biden.
No way.
That's just, he's, it's dementia.
Well, no, that he became that.
He wasn't always that.
He became that.
Yeah.
That man, that was a, he was a sharp and cruel asshole.
Yeah.
Biden's Dementia Doubles00:02:54
Not a dum-dum.
But wait, do you know that the State of the Union is coming up?
Yeah, I know.
I actually got invited, but I didn't want to tell you to.
Here's my thing.
I think we should watch it because it's like, do you think he can do it?
It's going to take so long to do it.
Dude, it's going to be the shortest State of the Union ever.
Oh my God.
He's going to be like, it's just going to all be about Ukraine or something.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, my.
Yeah.
Well, we're going to talk about that later this week.
But he today he tried to blame gas prices on.
He's like, you know, just so you know, is going to keep going up because of the, because of what's going on in Russia.
It's like, buddy, you can't pass that off on us.
What you're getting from them.
That's not, this isn't what's happening.
Plus, I drive an electric vehicle.
He has the horrible thing where, you know how everyone who thinks that he has like a, that there's Biden doubles, which I do actually think that there are Biden doubles.
Yeah.
But that like when they see him and he's got his like weird skin mask on and they're like, why does his face look so weird?
Because he's putting the Korean shit on his face.
No, so he has that bad thing that happens when you do too much Botox and your eyelids get droopy.
I hate when that happens.
Yeah, he, no, it is actually a thing.
So his eyelids are like drooping down and it's from the Botox.
It's basically like melting in his face.
Someone told me, I can't remember if it was you or I, maybe I, no one ever told me this actually, but can you pop a lip if it is filler in it?
Can they pop?
Oh, like if you overfill a lip?
Like, or like if someone's soxy in it or something.
Like, can you, if you like, fill a lip.
I don't think it pop is what would happen, but like, Uh, no, I think that what would happen is the filler would move somewhere because it's not like silicone, right?
Because you're kind of equating it to like a breast implant situation.
Oh, absolutely.
But it's not, it's not an implant.
And so hyaluronic hyaluronic acid is absorbed into your body.
So when people get fillers, like you can, if they get too much, people will get them dissolved or whatever.
But over time.
Like if you don't like upkeep it, it'll just like dissolve.
Your body just metabolizes.
Your lips get smaller?
The thing is, is that I don't think that they, like Kylie Jenner said once that she got all of her filler remote like dissolved, which is obviously not true.
But I think that it augments some like structure so much that even if you dissolve it, like, you know, I don't really know, actually, to be honest.
But eventually your body just metabolizes all of it and it kind of goes away.
The first time I heard of BB Brazilian butt lifts is there was a guy going around San Francisco pumping girls' asses full of liquid concrete and they died.
I think that's a faith.
I think that's a like.
No, it happened in San Francisco.
Really?
Yeah.
Walk Away00:03:12
I swear to God, it happened.
Cause I remember being like, a butt implant?
This is when I was still surprising before, of course.
Those are like very dangerous.
I got one.
Surgeries.
Like very, like the mortality rate on them or fatality rate is like really high, even by like, you know, good doctors and stuff.
It's a very dangerous procedure.
Don't get that.
It should be bad.
And that's why they call me Mr. Bravery.
I'm the only man brave enough to get one.
Well, let's wrap this up because we're just talking about BBLs.
Okay.
Oh, wait, you know, I didn't get to say this little thing that I wanted to say.
What?
Which is that it was reported today by the UK tabloids that Andrew was being, quote, tormented or teased by the palace staff with a, and this is so quintessentially British, a little limerick, a little rhyme nursery rhyme.
And I'm going to say it to you right now.
The grand old Duke York, he had 12 million quid.
He gave it to someone he'd never met for something he never did.
Wow, dude, if if my footman's love, I like young Chomsky's reaction there.
It was a little clever, a little clever lyrics.
If my footman hit me with that doggeral, I would have his ass, I would, I would be marching his ass up to the Tower of London at Rapier Point in a fucking flintlock would be in his mouth, and I'd be spending several minutes loading it and taking it out of his mouth to put like the powder in and then putting it back in his mouth and firing it and having it explode in my hand.
No one would ever treat me like that if I was a pedophile and also the prince.
I also gotta say, like, if someone starts saying that to you, just walk away.
It's kind of long.
Like, just don't let them finish.
Just be like, no, no, I'm good.
Just walk away.
And then, you know, you, you, you deny them the pleasure of finishing the rhyme.
Uh, if any of you out there work at work at Balmoral or whatever, uh, hit me up and I can teach you some American words that only have like three letters in them that you can call someone and they get really mad.
On that note, I'm Liz.
My name is wait.
My name, well, by the time you're listening to this, my name was Brace.
We're joined by my friend and producer and hopefully one of my paw bears, Young Chomsky, and the podcast, which I've been so proud to have been a part of with my old friends for all these years, was called Truanon.