Otto Scorzeni and Seamus Malikafzeli dive into a darkly comedic "Quarantine Punked" concept—hazmat-suited pranksters forcing victims into real 14-day isolation—before pivoting to Malikafzeli’s harrowing return from Lebanon, where he faced eviction and Oregon’s mandatory quarantine in his childhood bedroom. With Iran’s economy crumbling under COVID-19, Malikafzeli reveals the country’s hidden pandemic toll, exposing how financial desperation and global misinformation collide amid crisis. [Automatically generated summary]
Hello and welcome to the Hudson Institute's Insight and Iran podcast.
My name is Otto Scorzeni and I am joined here by Liz.
Hi.
Just fucking kid, baby.
It's Truanon.
Oh, you fooled them.
Uh-huh.
You like that?
See, I told you the other day that I'm becoming, in my hibernation, one of the top-ranked pranksters in the United States of America.
Yeah, you know what we need to do?
I think I was thinking about this.
I think we need to bring back punked.
Oh, yeah.
That would be, I can't believe it's not.
Dude, quarantine punked?
Would be so good.
Quarantine punked?
Just like you have like five guys in full, you know, full biohazard suits with like submachine guns burst into people's houses and be like, you're under arrest.
Yeah, like hazbat suits.
Yes.
That'd be cool.
Like disinfecting everything or, oh my God, fake EMTs.
Like, oh, you've got corona.
You're dying.
We're going to take you.
And then they're just like later.
And then they're just like, psych, you punked.
Yeah.
But actually, you do have to go into 14-day isolation now because we did take you outside and put you in a working ambulance.
But hey, you got nothing to do with anything.
Guess what?
You punked to the true and on Persian power hour, baby.
Hello.
How you doing?
That's a weird sign-on.
Let me try that again.
Seamus's Quarantine Odyssey00:02:42
Fantastic.
I liked it.
Welcome to the Persian Power Hour, where we are joined by Seamus.
All right, guys, prayers up.
Malaka Fazali.
Good enough for government work.
No, say it, say it, say it, say it.
Seamus Malikafzeli.
Malakathzeli.
Fuck, dude.
So sorry.
Listeners, you don't understand.
I've been trying to, I've been literally practicing and wasn't able to do.
But Seamus is a writer for the International Review and, of course, a go-to guy on events going on in the Islamic Republic of Iran.
How you doing?
I'm doing well.
I got out of quarantine a couple days ago after I got back from Lebanon and just enjoying what Oregon has to offer.
Oh, shit.
You were in like mandatory quarantine?
I was indeed.
How was that?
It was horrible.
I was stuck in my childhood bedroom, which I'm currently in right now, for the length of that time.
Oh, my God.
Like, not a footstep outside.
Not a footstep outside.
Thankfully, I have a bathroom here.
But other than that, nope.
Could not leave.
Christ.
So you were in Lebanon up until two weeks ago?
I was in Lebanon up until about two weeks ago until they I had been planning to stay at least for as long as I could until the funds ran out, but then I was kicked out of housing.
So I had no choice but to come back.
Do you mind if I ask what you were doing over there?
No, it's fine.
I'm a student at the American University of Beirut.
Okay.
So I was just studying there.
I was not undertaking any covert operations on behalf of any country, Eastern or Western.
Well, you should consider it.
It's lucrative.
It is lucrative.
I am kind of hurting for money right now.
So, you know.
No, if you're listening to, I know that our handlers that are listening to this, do not call this man.
Well, speaking of hurting for money, we wanted to have you on because we want to talk about Iran, who is also hurting for a little bit of money as they're facing down the horrible ramifications of the COVID pandemic.
And it's just, you know, we are talking and it seems like it's really difficult to get kind of a clear view of what exactly is going on there generally, but even more so in, you know, in the wake of Corona.
Yeah.
Iran has been hit particularly hard by the coronavirus outbreak.