Brad tells a story about a mishap during a colonoscopy. He and Dan then cover the myriad of stories from a crazy news week: -Eric Metaxas thinks Jesus is White -Tom Cotton: slavery was a necessary evil -Herman Cain dies from COVID after Trump rally -Remembering John Lewis -Trump's favorite doctor and her theology of demon insemination -Jared Kushner's failed COVID response -Trump's abysmal poll numbers on COVID, race, and the suburbs -John Ortberg resigns
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AXIS MUNDY AXIS MUNDY Welcome to Straight White American Jesus.
My name is Brad Onishi, Associate Professor of Religious Studies, Skidmore College, and I'm here today with my co-host, I'm Dan Miller, Associate Professor of Religion and Social Thought at Landmark College.
Good to see you, Brad.
You too, Dan.
We have a big announcement.
We are going to be headlining our own music festival.
Dan will be performing under the name Suburban Lifestyle Dream, and I will be the opener with my metal band, Demon Sperm.
So it's going to be a good one.
Demon Semen.
Well, now we're gonna have to label this explicit.
So thank you, Dan.
Thank you very much.
This is now R-rated.
I don't know why... But it's Christian, right?
As we'll get into it, right?
It's clearly Christian to believe that sexual or reproductive health issues are from, you know, having sex with demons.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah, religious liberty.
If they censor this, I'm claiming religious liberty.
That's a lawsuit.
They're gonna hear from me, so take that.
So, real quick story, Dan.
It is Disability Pride Month this week, and I have something I don't talk about too much, but I have something known as dyspraxia.
People don't really talk about that this much in this country, but it is a thing.
It affects You're sort of processing how your brain processes things.
So people with dyspraxia often are very bad at like mechanical tasks.
When I was young, it took me forever to learn how to tie my shoe.
I couldn't tie a tie until very well into adulthood, things like that.
And so I just wanted to shout that out.
And Dan, I want to give you a very good example of How dyspraxia works in real life.
So my wife will tell you it works in the ways that I break dishes all the time or, you know, totally spill red wine everywhere or whatever it is.
So those are like very day-to-day things.
But I will say, Dan, a little bit ago I went in for a colonoscopy, which is just a really fun part of middle age, everyone.
That is part of the suburban lifestyle dream, getting a colonoscopy every five years.
So I go in to do that and the nurse is prepping me and she's like, all right, change out of your clothes and put these on, right?
So Dan, she gives me a gown and I'm like, oh cool, all right, put this gown on.
And then she gives me two hats.
I'm like, oh, I guess I need to wear a hat because I don't know.
What am I doing?
Food prep while I'm getting a colonoscopy?
I have no idea why I thought I needed to wear a hat.
So I'm like, all right, I'll just put this on.
And she had instructed me to like walk down the hall and then like go into the little room where the anesthesiologist would put me under and there we go all right so i put it on and i'm like i have no shoes on and i have no socks i'm like barefoot i'm walking in this hospital gown and i've got this thing on that really does not fit on my head very well but i have a big head people not not symbolically like i physically have a big head so i was like well maybe it's just because i'm mr uh huge noggin or something and
And as I'm walking, there's like nurses in every room, Dan, like down this hallway, and they just are all glancing up, and without any decorum, just bursting into hilarious guttural laughter.
And I'm just like, what?
What's so funny, man?
I'm just a dude walking in a gown.
You don't have to be laughing at people.
Come on, we're in gowns.
So I finally get to the room where I'm supposed to be, and The anesthesiologist and nurse, they both start to guttural laughter as well.
I'm just like, what is happening?
And she's just like one of those very like kind, but, but funny, like, oh honey, like bless your heart.
And she takes the thing off my head.
She's like, these are, these are like little sock booty things.
I gave you two of them to wear on your feet.
Why do you have it on your head?
Like a three year old who doesn't know how to dress themselves.
And, um, I'm like old enough and secure enough in myself that I can laugh at this.
I laughed along with, like, we all had a great time.
I mean, if you want to have a great time getting a colonoscopy, just put the shoes on your head.
You can add it to the list of, like, taking a long time to tie your shoes, right?
It's just like, it's another...
Yeah, another example, right, but I will say friends if you're out there and you you're struggling if you have dyspraxia and you don't know how to talk about it or Dysgraphia is another related condition You know, don't don't be afraid to reach out get diagnosed.
And anyway, we're thinking of all folks who are facing different different disabilities and different things and I hope that you can all laugh at my Funny colonoscopy story.
All right, Dan, all that aside, now that we've announced our summer festival and my ridiculous antics, let's get to what may be the most full news week we've had, I don't know, in months.
Maybe since the killing of Kozaymani at the beginning of the year.
It just feels like there's way too much.
Is that how you feel?
Yeah, well, it's funny that a lot of people behind the curtains.
So when we first got thrown into this kind of weekly roundup thing, right, there's just so much going on that we're like, we can't ignore it.
We have to kind of deal with it.
One of my concerns was, well, that sounds great, but like, what are we doing when the news cycle slows down?
And we were like, well, I guess we'll, you know, we'll figure that out when we come to it.
And like, we have never come to it.
It's, uh, It's pretty exhausting and I'll say from the start there's no way that we can get to everything this week and we didn't even know how to organize it.
We were toying around with like going day by day or like crazy story by crazy story or by theme so we'll uh we'll hit what we can hit but yeah the news cycle yeah if you'd said three or four months ago that it would be even more nuts now than it was then I would have thought you were crazy but here we are in this kind of altered reality that just won't stop.
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