| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Beard Shaving Accident
00:02:22
|
|
| All right, Sean Johnson's over here at my house. | |
| We were gonna work out today, but I had a bunch of stuff going on. | |
| And right before he got here, as we were going a hike, I had a malfunction on my beard. | |
| I cut it, so I had to cut it off. | |
| And then I left the mustache. | |
| He took a picture of that. | |
| And I said, should I keep it? | |
| And Sean's like, no, you look like a... | |
| So he goes, well, what you ought to do is a joke. | |
| So we did it. | |
| And of course, all the liberals can dress up like Nazis and Hitler and it's okay. | |
| And Charlie Chappelle can, but you watch. | |
| The corporate media will misrepresent and say Jones is now Hitler, even though I've been 100% clear from the start. | |
| Obviously, it's satire and I've been comparing myself to their tyranny as if I'm Hitler. | |
| But he doesn't matter. | |
| That's why people hate them. | |
| That's why they have no viewers. | |
| But here's the guy that had the idea. | |
| So tell people the story. | |
| Yeah, so I came to Alex's house today. | |
| We're going to go for a hike. | |
| And he was running 15 minutes late. | |
| I said, what's going on? | |
| He says, he says, I had a beard shaving accident. | |
| I said, what do you mean you had a beard shaving accident? | |
| He said, you'll see when you get here. | |
| And I show up and I got to show you this picture. | |
| So fucking funny. | |
| I look like a Gene Hackman or something. | |
| This is what I showed up to. | |
| This is the face I showed up to. | |
| So I said, you should just lean into it and keep shaving it into a Hitler and make a funny video that everybody would love. | |
| And now we've done it. | |
| So he made the funniest fucking video ever. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| Do you think they're going to literally still misrepresent it and say, I think I'm Hitler? | |
| Of course. | |
| That's their MO. | |
| Of course they're going to do that. | |
| But who gives a fuck? | |
| It's so ridiculous. | |
| All right, brother. | |
| Well, I know I screwed off today because I had the accident. | |
| Yeah, it's all right. | |
| We'll get it back. | |
| But you should put up a poll to see whether or not your followers think you should shave it all off or keep the Hitler. | |
| Oh, keep the Hitler. | |
| And making a whole phenomenon explaining how I'm the anti-Hitler. | |
| But I draw attention to how Hitler is actually bad. | |
| A lot of people think he's good now. | |
| We'll see. | |
| So I'm taking back the stash. | |
| I think you should take it back. | |
|
Ultimate Life Force
00:01:14
|
|
| If anybody can take it back, it's Alex Jones. | |
| Wait a minute. | |
| We no longer know with the Hitler he knows the Jones. | |
| Ooh, the Jones. | |
| I like it. | |
| You see that, ladies and gentlemen? | |
| That's Jones right there. | |
| You're so crazy. | |
| Your body faces new challenges in a bioengineered world. | |
| That's why Alex Jones brings you Ultimate Life Force, a triple action spike protein detox designed to help clear harmful toxins, support your cellular defenses, and restore full body recovery. | |
| Packed with powerful ingredients, Ultimate Life Force is formulated for strength, resilience, and renewal. | |
| Detox. | |
| Defend. | |
| Recover. | |
| Take control of your health with Alex Jones's Ultimate Life Force. | |
| Fentanyl, the dragon, left China and flew to hang out with Alex and try something new. | |
| He landed in Texas, they barbecued steaks. | |
| And after they ate, they cleaned the dishes and plates. | |
| Alex jumped on his back and they flew to the store to get some supplements that you can't ignore. | |
| He got ultimate life force and methylene blue. | |