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July 10, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
55:41
Spit Out the Black Pill! Twitter/X Space
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All right.
Hope you're doing well, everybody.
It is Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain, just trying a little new recording set up and happy to chat with you all about whatever is on your mind, as always.
The topic is philosophy, philosophy being the infinite atomic theory of everything, all-encompassing discipline of truth, reason, evidence, and the humane way.
So good morning, good morning, good morning.
And I don't know what's being picked up in terms of audio.
I guess we'll find out.
There's no settings.
There's no settings to say, ooh, use this audio or use that audio.
So hopefully it's using the good mic.
And we shall find out, of course, as time goes along.
As always, I'm thrilled to hear from you, my friends.
And it is your show.
It is your topic.
It is whatever is on your mind.
And just wanted to point out that there is very bad data floating around, my friends.
Some very bad data.
So people are saying 90% of the women are going for the top 10% of men.
Yet, according to research that I've looked up, 70% of teenagers, males, report having sexual activity by the end of their teens.
That's 70%.
That's not 10%.
Don't take the online thing too seriously.
Don't take online data too seriously.
It's mostly nonsense with a few bouts of useful stuff here and there, but mostly nonsense.
For women in particular, dating apps are like a wish list.
And it's important to remember, of course, nobody gets everything they want in the dating scenario.
Nobody.
Nobody gets everything they want.
Nobody gets everything they want in life.
I mean, the king gets to order people around, but then he ends up isolated and lonely.
If you go to negotiate for a job, you want a whole bunch of money.
Other people want to pay you less money.
Even in the dating market, if you sort of look at the way we evolved, I mean, tens tend to get with 10s.
Does that mean the 10s are happy?
Nope.
Because if you're some super Gaston built like a viper truck kind of guy, you just want to sleep around.
But then you've got to be monogamous because that's the only way you can really get sex and sort of our evolution, marriage and so on, right?
The woman who's a 10 always thinks she can do better.
The 10 wants the 10, maybe thinks he can get a little bit above because 10 is 10%, right?
So instead of a 91, he thinks he can get a 97.
But if he goes and aims too high, then the 10 gets snagged up by a 9 and then the 10 has to go for a 9.
So there's always this tension in the daily market.
You want the maximum you can get, but not so much that you can't get anything.
This is life.
I want the maximum philosophy that I can do, but not so much that I get burned at the stake.
Nobody gets everything they want.
And sort of the sooner that you grind that into your bones, I think the better off that you'll be.
So you're not going to get everything you want.
You know, when I, my wife and I love each other very much, we married 23 years.
And when she met, I was unemployed.
When we met, I was unemployed.
I was taking time off to work on writing novels.
I wrote The God of Atheists.
I wrote Almost over the period of a year and a half.
And Almost, as a historical novel, required crazy amounts of research.
This is sort of back before the internet was really useful for that kind of stuff.
So would she rather have had me employed when she met me?
Yeah, of course.
But we don't get everything that we want in life.
And refusing to settle is a fool's game.
I tell everyone, settle.
Do you live in the mansion of your dreams?
I don't know if the mansion of your dreams is some Bill Gates, $40 million Uber mansion of the gods.
I don't know.
But then it's a lot to maintain.
It's a lot of work.
Property taxes are insane.
Like, I don't know.
What is perfect?
Do I ever do a perfect show?
No, I have to settle for the most inspiration that I can have in the moment.
Most songs that people write don't go anywhere.
You know, there's like five greatest songs in the history of music.
You have to settle for what it is that you can produce.
Nobody gets everything they want.
Elon Musk complains about this.
He says, you know, people look at my money and they think they want my life.
They probably don't because all I do is work, sleep on the factory floor.
All I do is work and make baby mamas.
That's his, his two, his three, three or four big manufacturing things, the boring company, I guess SpaceX and Starlink and baby mamas.
That's his conveyor belt.
So just recognize when women are on dating apps, it's just a wish list.
70% of young men are having sex, and I think that's intercourse.
So if you count non-intercourse, like oral or whatever it is, then that's a whole different matter.
It's probably closer to 80, 85%, whatever it is, right?
It's not a drought out there.
Don't listen to the people who tell you it's hopeless.
Oh, but 97% of women will only have sex with if they're willing to share, man.
They just want the chance.
Don't listen to the outliers.
There's a great bulge.
Get it?
There's a great bulge in the middle.
But to the girdle do the gods inherit below is all the fiends.
So don't listen to the outliers.
Don't listen to the extremes.
Yes, there are some uber chads who sleep around.
Yes, there are some guys who are too awkward and funny looking to get anyone or anything.
And those are the outliers.
Just aim for that bulge in the middle and don't be talked out of love, family, procreation, happiness, or any of that stuff.
You know, there are a lot of people out there in this world who have failed and want to vindictively spread their failure to others, right?
We recognize this.
There's an old saying, single women keep women single.
So we recognize this in female nature.
It's in male nature as well.
I failed.
Therefore, I'm going to conduct elaborate justifications as to why my failure wasn't my fault.
That's the big draw of ideology, man.
The big draw of ideology, right?
I failed.
I now need to create massive justifications as to why my failure wasn't my fault, man.
It wasn't me.
It's the system.
It's the race.
It's the class.
It's the capitalists.
It's the ownership of the means of production.
It's women.
It's the media.
It's schools.
These are all real Factors, but you'd be really surprised at how little stops you when you give up making excuses.
And listen, I sympathize.
There are some things for which there are reasonable excuses.
I did not stay in the art world because most of the people who publish books are relentless socialists slash communists slash woe stress.
They did their long march through the institutions.
So if I say, well, gee, I'm not a big actor or a sort of famous published novelist, and part of that is because my novels are explicitly pro-individualism, pro-free will, pro-free choice, anti-collectivism, anti-socialist, very strictly and very strongly anti-socialist.
And, you know, it ain't 1957 when you could squeeze out Atlas Shrugged after a massive battle, after a previously successful novel, The Fountainhead, and a minorly successful novel, We the Living.
So we always want to stay away from those who tell you failure is inevitable, things aren't going to work.
And then what they do is they'll say, well, once we achieve this impossible thing, then you can succeed.
Once we get the government out of human relationships, then we can succeed.
Once the marriage contract no longer involves a state, once blah, blah, blah, this, once we do that, once we get rid of the welfare state, then it's not going to happen.
We have to play the cards we're dealt.
I mean, you can leave the game, which is, of course, what a lot of people are doing, but it's not necessary.
And people are saying, Steph, you're old, you're out of touch.
I get that.
I mean, I obviously was thinking about, and I've talked about this before, creating a dating profile and seeing what I could do, but I don't want to, obviously, don't want to catfish anyone, right?
But I know a lot of young people, friends, and there's not this law that says when you start pushing 60, you can't talk to anyone under 50.
There's no law about that.
I've got friends with kids in their teens, friends with kids in their 20s.
And what is being portrayed online?
You go to jail for asking a woman out.
No, you don't.
Can you find some bizarre outlier?
Sure, you can.
Sure you can.
People win the lottery, but it's not a good plan for your life.
Can you find weird outliers?
Sure.
And prior to the internet, they would remain weird outliers that you'd never hear about.
But because of the internet, it goes amplified.
And our statistical brain hasn't caught up to the internet yet, right?
So when we see this kind of stuff, oh, it's amplified.
It's repeated.
Oh, my God, it must be super common.
But the number of times I've seen these stories that just, you know, a guy went to jail for asking a woman out and you start to dig into it.
And it's not the case.
It's not the case.
Yeah, women are jumpy.
I mean, listen, guys, talk to women.
Ask them about any potential stalker stories.
It's not just Jodi Foster.
It happens.
So yeah, women are a little nervous.
Women are a little jumpy.
Women still also want to date men.
Majority of them want to get married, have kids.
All right.
Enough of me, but enough of my yapping.
Sage is a great name.
It is an elder.
Priest of wisdom.
What's on your mind?
You will need to unmute.
Amorlius.
Hello.
I'm not so much an elder, but I do like to speak words of wisdom when I can.
Well, now's the time.
I don't have too much.
I'm more looking for wisdom from you.
Around two days ago, me and my girlfriend split up over three years, and we've been living each other for those entire three years.
Sorry, did you say you've been loving each other?
Oh, living with each other.
Living with each other.
Sorry about that.
Go ahead.
Plenty of love within those three years, but two of us weren't making each other happy enough.
So we split up.
And I've been mostly focused on trying to adopt an egoist mindset after reading Objectivism when I was 18, 19.
But I find that introspection hasn't been helping me.
And I feel like I'm not finding the right questions to ask or the right things to do.
And you would say that you and your girlfriend loved each other, right?
Yeah, we had a pretty good relationship up until the end.
So you loved each other?
Yeah.
Okay.
So what, Sure, you can call her Naomi.
Naomi.
Okay, it's a nice name.
All right.
So what did you love about Naomi?
She had an amazing humor.
She was smart in her own different ways, not so smart in others.
Very beautiful.
She had a personality that I want to see throughout the end, really.
It was someone I wanted to marry.
Okay, so she was funny.
She was smart and not smart.
And what else?
She was pretty.
She was beautiful, right?
Physically beautiful?
I wouldn't say she's an intellectual, but she was smart in her own fields.
Okay, so she was beautiful, funny, and well, nobody can be smart of everything.
So she was beautiful, she was funny, and she was smart, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So what about her moral virtues?
I don't think she really thought about that herself.
I tried to- Moral virtues.
What moral virtues did you see in Naomi?
Well, there were some red flags to the beginning.
She never really wanted children.
She was iffy on getting married, but around two years in, she was looking more forward to moral virtues.
I don't quite know.
Because everything you're describing is kind of hedonistic.
I'm not calling you a hedonist, but everything you did.
Okay, she's pretty to look at.
Okay, that's nice.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But it's kind of hedonistic.
She made me laugh.
Well, that's laughter is a pleasure, and that's kind of hedonistic.
And again, it's not that making people laugh is bad.
It's, you know, it's just not really a moral virtue.
There's lots of completely screwed up comedians, right?
Louis C.K., et cetera, et cetera, Lenny Bruce.
So that's not, you know, she's smart.
Okay, I mean, I guess that's nice.
If it's smart in her field, it doesn't really impact you.
But all of these things that you're talking about are things that give pleasure to you.
And again, there's nothing wrong with.
Of course, partners are supposed to give pleasure to each other, but it's all about hedonism.
It doesn't sound like, it doesn't sound like you admired her morally.
Now, do you want to have kids?
In the future, yeah.
Well, of course it's in the future.
I'm not talking about right now.
Copy your arm and copy paste.
Okay, so you want to have kids and she didn't want to have kids.
Yeah, I think she was more terrified of pregnancy rather than the actual children.
She was more terrified of what?
Pregnancy.
Okay, well, whatever.
I mean, you wanted to have kids and she didn't want to have kids.
Sure.
Yeah.
So don't agree with me like I'm telling you something.
That's what I got from what you said.
Just confirm.
If I got something wrong, let me know.
I mean, like it's we sort of agreed maybe in the future it would be a possibility to get surrogacy or adoption was on the question, but I wasn't interested in that.
I don't really know.
I didn't want to have children.
Just don't, let's not complicate things, man.
She didn't want to have kids.
You want to have kids.
Your own kids.
Not surrogacy, not adoption, right?
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Well, is that true?
Well, she never really outright said that, but I would assume that that's the case.
I never thought she would.
Sorry, but you had.
Hang on.
My God, man.
What's all this fog?
I don't understand.
She had conversation about having kids.
She said she didn't want to get pregnant, but she might be open to surrogacy or adoption, right?
Yeah, but there's never been an area of full confidence in this.
It's always been like a, oh, I don't know about this and I don't know about that.
It's like, I can't really walk away with a certain answer.
Okay.
So if you want to have kids and she doesn't want to have kids, how old are you?
I'm 22.
22.
So she doesn't want to have kids and she doesn't want to have kids.
You want to have kids, then why be together?
But that's the hedonism, right?
She was fun.
She was pretty.
She made you laugh.
I don't know if...
I guess it could be viewed as hedonist.
And I couldn't really...
I guess you could say emotional pleasure.
You weren't in it.
You're a young man.
And you weren't in a relationship with a beautiful woman for anything to do with sexual desire?
Not anything.
Of course, it's a bonus.
But by the time we met, I was a bundle of troubles.
I didn't have much of a high libido.
I was mostly looking for emotional fulfillment.
What do you mean by a bundle of troubles?
When I was in 18 or 19, I had huge insomniatic problems.
And the NHS had prescribed me a bucket load of antidepressants and sleeping pills, which none of them really worked.
So I was very in a chaotic period for a long time.
And that's when I tried to get into philosophy and try to sort my life out.
And she was really the first person that I got with when I got my shit together.
Okay.
Well, I'm sorry to hear about that.
That's very tough.
And I want to express my deep, deep sympathies for that.
So why do you think that Naomi got together with you if when you first met her, you were a mess?
I guess you could say I was being a bit deceptive.
I wasn't really showing my emotion to much people, but she was in a bit of a emotional trouble when I met her.
I guess I was her Superman.
She, I think she recently got caught smoking dope, and her parents wanted to crucify her.
So I was just there to like help her out and give her a place to stay.
Sorry.
So when you say recently, you mean back when you met?
I was there, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, I'm getting back to the colours.
When I was on you, okay, so what you're saying is that her parents were kicking her out for smoking dope and she needed a place to stay.
Rather, she didn't want to go back home and she wanted a place to stay.
Huh.
Okay.
And what was it that caused the relationship to end?
Well, I think it was a over the past year, there was just less and less emotion or sex with each other.
And just a week ago, she spent a trip with all of her friends in Madeira, and she realized that she's much happier around her friends and she's at home with me.
So she decided to split things off.
Again, I'm really sorry to hear that.
How is your heart, my friend?
How is your soul?
It's, you know, it's coping.
It's a three-year relationship gone.
All I can really do is cope with it.
But I know for the long term, it's going to be better for me.
So that tidbit is helping me out a lot.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, I mean, I'm very sorry for this because it's three years of, I mean, it's not wasted time exactly, but it's not what you wanted.
I assume that you guys wanted to stay together.
So, I mean, nobody really gets into a marriage hoping to get divorced and nobody really gets into a relationship hoping to break up.
So, but and what I would suggest going forward, just a minor suggestion, but it can have major impacts, is really look for the moral virtues, honesty, integrity, courage, directness.
And if you find people who are morally virtuous and you're manifesting those virtues yourself, then you grow together like two trees that grow together and then you can't be separated.
You become one flesh and we unite in virtue.
And virtue is our emotional response to love.
Sorry, virtue.
Sorry, love is our emotional response to virtue.
And it's against their will.
If we're virtuous, right?
So if you want to have a relationship that sustains itself and that you can trust the person is going to be there, they have integrity.
They have commitment.
Well, that's the only chance for genuine, sustainable love is to grow together in virtue.
So the next time you're thinking of dating, you ask yourself, well, what virtues do I admire In this woman, what inspires me?
And hopefully, of course, you will also have virtues that inspire her.
And that is the best way to choose, I mean, what is really the basis of dating.
It's the best way to choose a mother for your children.
So, my sympathies, I'm going to move on to the next caller, but I wish you the very best.
Do you have any literary works I could read on my time off?
Freedomaine.com slash books.
A bit more specific to my case, if you have any.
I've already read.com slash freedomain.com slash books.
The God of Atheists is a good one for relationships.
And I would say also The Present, my novel, The Present, will also help with relationships.
So I wish you the very best.
Hope we can chat again, and thanks for the call.
Thank you very much.
All right.
From A Tale of Drug Use, we now move to the High Council.
If you want to unmute, I'm only.
Stefan, how's it going?
Listen, you know, a lot of this philosophy, like trying to get men to get together with women is all good, and I'm all for it.
I'm 26 years old.
I've dated one girl in my life, and it didn't work out.
But I wanted to ask you a question about, you know, sort of the war that's going on, you know, the sort of a war going on, and it is for the soul.
And bio-digital convergence, you know, is really a big part of it.
And vaccinations.
Okay, I'm starting to get my nerves down a little bit.
I get a little nervous when I'm talking to a bunch of people.
Yeah, it's fun.
And listen, I understand.
I understand and I sympathize.
One of the things that could be really helpful, I do this before I give speeches.
Just jot down, you know, you've got 10 minutes to wait.
Just jot down your major points.
And then you won't have to sort of freeball it when you get the mic.
So I got it.
My major point is that, you know, we have to address the underlying issue, which I think, you know, is like childhood vaccine schedules and stuff like that.
Because I think a lot of the problems with people have trying to get into relationships today is like a certain level of distrust or, you know, some psychological damage.
Obviously, autism is a big part of it.
But I think, you know, what the medical system has done since 1989 has really damaged a lot of people in ways that, you know, they just don't understand how to recover from or like, you know, think, you know, to your point, feel hopeless about it.
So I was just wondering if you, you are aware of that stuff.
Do you know of an attorney named Todd Callender who has sued the Department of Defense for all the COVID stuff?
Obviously.
My major point is we're in like a giant, we're in a war, basically.
And I just want your perspective on it, you know, because I know we try to get broke.
Bro, I mean, you got to ask me a question that, I mean, we've covered like five different topics, right?
Right.
So you're going to have to boil it down a little for my aging brain.
Okay.
Well, what do you say to the people who are autistic, who are damaged by vaccines, who can't, you know, it's hard for them to connect with people?
I'm not sure what you mean by what would I say to them.
I'm not sure what you mean.
Can you be a bit more specific?
What advice could you give to someone who's damaged?
Again, you actually went less specific, not more specific.
You asked, what would I say to people who have autism?
And I say, can you be more specific?
And you said, well, what would you say to people who are damaged?
Which is just about everyone.
So again, I'm going to need things to be a bit more precise and specific because I want to add value, right?
And if you go to a restaurant and you say, bring me something that a human being could potentially digest, when you're probably not going to get the meal you want, right?
You got to be a bit more specific about what you want.
Well, I guess I don't know what I want.
I just want justice, man.
I don't know.
I think we're.
I'm just angry.
I'm angry.
No, listen, I get that.
And I'm not going to try and talk you out of any of that.
Hang on.
Hang on.
If you say my happiness depends on powerful evildoers being brought to justice, will you ever be happy?
No.
No, that's the way of the world.
I mean, that's the way of the world.
At least at the moment, right?
We can hope that in some generations we will have a better world and there's things that we can do around love and having children and raising them well that is going to definitely add to that.
But look, ideas are a lot about, and I'm not saying this is good.
I'm not saying this is right.
I'm just saying it is.
Would you ever buy a diet book from a fat guy with a fat guy on the cover, like a fat author?
Obviously not.
Right.
So if you want people to listen to your ideas, then you have to have some level of success first, right?
I mean, if I was talking like Tom Likas, right?
If I was talking about relationships and I'd been divorced three times, would you listen to me?
Well, I think why not?
Because you have experience.
Well, I wouldn't listen to someone like that because all they would have is failure.
Now, they might say to me, like, you know, the guy who's dying of lung cancer might say to you, don't smoke.
And that doesn't mean that he's wrong for that, right?
I mean, I tell people, you know, maybe look into getting hitched up a little younger and I didn't do it till my 30s, but that's because I was missing this kind of wisdom.
So if you want people to listen to you, first of all, you have to have some level of success yourself.
Like I go this, there's this ridiculous back and forth on X, where somebody today said to me about a tweet, you could have cut out the first three sentences.
And I went and this guy has like, I don't know, 150 followers or whatever it was, 47 followers, right?
Now, I'm not trying to shame the guy, but if you're going to tell me how to write Tweets, then I'm going to expect that you have some level of success.
Or at least say, listen, I know I only have this many followers, but here's what I think you could do to improve.
At least address it.
But I don't go to Leonardo DiCaprio and say, hey, man, here's how to pick up young models.
Right?
When Marlon Brando was alive, I wouldn't go and give him acting advice, even though I've had some acting training myself.
There's a certain amount of, I don't go to grandmasters in chess and tell them how to play chess.
I respect expertise.
And if you're going to say to someone, you need to listen to my ideas, then you can't be miserable.
Sorry, is there music playing in the background there?
No, that's just a leaf blower.
Oh, okay.
So, okay, that's fine.
No, that's fine.
So, so listen, listen.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
I'm not done.
I'm not done.
I just got interrupted by the leaf blower thing.
Do you think you sound happy?
No, I definitely have a level of anger in me, but I want, I don't know.
I guess I want people to fight the right fight, you know?
And I think you got to look into Todd Calendar.
Everyone in here has to look into Todd Calendar.
Truth be told, Vax Joyce.
We have to overturn this.
We have to friggin overturn this system.
You got to fight the right fight.
Listen.
Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
I'm just trying to make a point.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
What do you think the odds are?
How old are you?
26.
26.
All right.
So you kind of got to get Dayton and married in the next five to 10 years maximum, right?
Right.
If that's what you want, right?
Okay.
What do you think the odds are that the system is going to be overturned in the next five to ten years?
The odds?
I don't know.
Overturned by whom exactly?
No, no.
You said we've got to overturn the system, right?
Okay.
So I'm just asking you, right?
This is my business mind, right?
People say to me, I have a plan.
Okay, well, what are the odds of that plan succeeding, right?
So what would you place the odds at the system being overturned, whatever that means, in the next five to 10 years?
100%.
It's 100%.
100%.
Go on.
Well, I mean, if you take a look at all the AI stuff, the digital currency, the social credit system stuff, I mean, is that not a system being overturned?
Is that not, you know, what we previously had in place being overturned?
I think, you know, I think that's totally happening.
You know, there's people talking.
There's fucking bankers talking about this stuff.
You know, Larry.
Okay, so I'm just going to take you at face value that the system that you object to so much is going to 100% be overturned in the next five to 10 years because of AI and stuff like that, right?
So then you don't need to do anything.
You can just focus on finding a good woman, settling down, getting married, having some kids.
That's 100%.
I'm with you 100%, but this is about all of us.
This is about humanity.
No, don't give me this abstract nonsense, man.
This is about all of us.
Nobody even knows what that means.
So then if you 100% believe that the system is 100% going to be changed or overturned erratically over the next sort of five to ten years.
99%.
No, no, no.
1% being if we actually get up off our ass and like start talking about these things and telling people and get to the bottom of, you know, get to the core of the rot.
There is a rotting core that's going to kill us all.
It's like the snake eating its own tail.
Okay, you are full of useless analogies.
Get to the root of the rot.
It's like, if you can't try, you know, you're like somebody in the business world, and I've met people in the business world who are just like, you know, we've got to capture, you know, 16% of the widget market in China.
And it's like, sure, okay, but how?
What's your practical plan?
How is it measurable?
Because what you're doing is you're calling in and you're talking about things that you want to change.
I'm calling in.
I'm talking about what we need to do and where we're going.
No, you haven't said.
No, you've just got a wish.
No, you've got a wish list.
You've got a wish list of abstract change with no particular details or a plan.
Hey, people are going to come out of this more informed.
Okay, I think so.
So my suggestion is if something has a 99% chance of happening without your input, then you should focus on getting married, having kids, because then you're going to have a very big effect on, obviously, a smaller number of people, but you're going to have a very big effect on the, let's say you have three kids, whatever, you're going to have a big effect on those kids.
Those kids are going to grow up and have three kids each of their own.
And you start, you know, you're continuing the whole legacy dynasty thing.
And given that, it's 99% likely that you're going to, that the system's going to change on its own, then why didn't you call me up and say, what's the best way I can find a good woman?
Rather than windbagging on about all of this abstract stuff with no particular plan.
Well, I guess my plan in getting in here was to just get people to start looking at other directions and, you know, at other certain, you know, you have to fucking be informed.
You know, you have to be informed about these things, man.
I'm sorry.
I just, I'm flustered.
Well, you're flustered because you don't have a plan.
You have a, I want to share some stuff and I'm angry at the world.
And listen, I'm not, look, there's annoying stuff in the world.
Absolutely.
But do you think you're putting yourself forward as an inspiring leader?
Or do you just sound kind of pissed off, frustrated, and annoyed?
I definitely sound pissed off, frustrated, and annoyed.
I need to sound more inspiring for sure.
Well, I have a plan.
I want to change the world.
And the way that we change it is through parenting.
I have a plan, and I've got the data.
I've got the facts.
I've got the research.
I've interviewed the experts.
I have a plan.
I have a practical plan.
You have an unactionable wish list.
And I say this because I want you to be happy.
And right now, you're 26 years old and you're not married.
You have no plan for kids.
You're just talking about websites and vaccines and autism.
You know, I sympathize and I understand, but I'm giving you something actionable, something that you can do.
And I think your frustration is that you have A goal which is changing the system, but you have no practical plan other than be annoyed and tell people about websites.
You got me.
I'm doing this because I care.
I want you to be happy.
I really do.
I want you to be happy, and you need to have an actionable plan.
Thank you.
Thank you for your time.
You are very welcome.
And listen, I wish you the best.
You're welcome back anytime.
And just make a plan to fall in love.
And through falling in love, you'll get the kind of support and enthusiasm and happiness that you need to be a much more effective leader.
But if you're a sort of pissed-off voice in the wilderness, it's really tough to get people to listen.
And there's this funny thing that's going on because I've been away from X for like half a decade, right?
It's a funny thing going on where people think they don't actually have to have credibility in order to make arguments.
It's like, well, you should judge me just by the merit of my arguments.
And it's like, no, I don't.
I don't.
If you're holding the tennis racket the wrong way, I don't need to see you play.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm just talking about other people on X, right?
So yeah, you have to build up credibility, but people would much rather talk about what they want or what other people should do rather than do the tough work of building up credibility themselves.
All right.
We are one L short of an ally.
Ailey, I hear movement.
Hi, can you hear me?
Yes, yes, go ahead.
Hi, Stefan.
I just found you recently, which blows my mind because I'm sorry, I have to listen to all your stuff.
And I'm super excited that you're doing these lives because I have a really, well, important to me question to ask you.
I have two daughters, 16 and 14, and a 24-year-old son.
And I grew up brainwashed by the liberal Democrat cult, basically, like a lot of people.
Maybe almost everyone.
Oh, yeah, I'm with you there.
Same, same.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
So by the grace of God, I didn't have an abortion with my son who I had young.
And so I'm able to use that as a reference point teaching my children.
And I've since become a Christian and that's been wonderful.
But I guess my question is, you know, I want to raise my girls to prioritize family ahead of career.
I know they need to get married, you know, in their early to mid-20s, you know, realistically, I'm trying to program them to, you know, that family is going to bring them the greatest source of joy and fulfillment.
Now, since you have a daughter about the same age, I'm just wondering, you know, how do you balance wanting to tell them that message with also, you know, you want to somewhat encourage them in their talents and things?
You know, if they want to have a job, of course, I say, you know, just make it something flexible.
You can work around your family, but you don't completely want to squash that they can't go to college or anything.
So how do you, how do you balance that out?
And how do you guide your own daughter with some of those ideas and, you know, ultimately wanting them to have, you know, a family and all that?
Yeah, it's tough.
I mean, I obviously I don't want to be selfish because I'm an older dad.
So I'd like to be, I'd like to have some good years as a granddad.
And if she, you know, gets married at 30, then that's a little bit less likely to happen.
So, but of course, it's not about what I want.
In general, I think that the approach is, I mean, you can want to get married, but and you, you know, you put yourself out there and you meet people and you talk to people as a man or a woman.
But until you meet that right person, it's sort of out of your hands, right?
Now, of course, when you start to meet that right person or you think you might have met that right person, then you've got to, you know, work to make it work and all of that.
So I think, you know, being out there in the world, whether it's in the business sense or at college or whatever, is totally fine.
But you need to be looking for quality people.
It's not just there for fun and hedonism and drinking and all of that.
Not that my daughter wants to do any of that sort of stuff, but I'm just talking in more general terms.
But to say that you have to be receptive to a virtuous man for your daughters and a virtuous woman for your son, you have to be receptive.
You have to be virtuous yourself.
The readiness is all.
You have to be ready because you never know when that perfect person is going to come into your life.
For me, it just happened to be because a friend of mine was joining a volleyball league and I like volleyball.
And that's how I met my wife.
And because, you know, she's not very tall.
So I'm glad it wasn't basketball.
So you have, but I'd already gone to therapy.
I'd really worked on philosophy.
I worked in my virtues and integrity.
And so when she came into my life, I was ready.
If she'd come into my life when I was younger, I don't think I would have been ready.
I don't think I would have been as prepared.
So the preparation is everything.
You still have to live while you're waiting for the right person and not just waiting, but talking to people and trying to find the right person.
You still have to have some kind of life.
And, you know, maybe that's a bit of college if you can find some place that's not super woke.
Maybe that's working or maybe that's trying your hand at something entrepreneurial.
All of those things are great and fun.
And working on your virtues, working on your integrity, working in your honesty and directness is going to pay off dividends in business.
It's going to pay off dividends.
Well, probably not at a work school, but maybe at other schools.
And certainly when you meet that person who could just be right for you, you really want to be ready with your virtues.
So if you tell your kids to keep working on their virtues, keep being out there and meeting people, then they will be ready when that right person comes along.
Now, you can't just sit them and say, well, you've got to be on hold.
We're going to cryogenically freeze you until the right person comes along.
It's not going to work out because they've got to have a life, right?
So I know that's a little bit abstract, but all we can do is work on our virtues.
Like, I can't control how people respond to me.
I can't control the autism schedule.
Sorry, the vaccine schedule.
I can't control whether people take boosters.
All I can control is the honesty and directness that I have in my communication and hopefully have built up some credibility with a fairly decent life of good virtue.
I can't control anything outside of that.
So saying, well, you have to get married young, it's like, well, no, you have to work on your virtues and you have to be out there in the world so people can meet you.
Outside of that, it's a little bit beyond your hands.
So focus really on the things that you can do the most to control and be ready for the right circumstance.
Like I was into computer programming For like 15 years, I started programming when I was like 11 years old.
And I was into computers for, I don't know, like, sorry, 13 or 14 years.
And then an opportunity came along to co-found a software company.
And I just was ready then.
And I wouldn't have been ready if I hadn't done all of that work ahead of time.
And I, you know, went to theater school, learned how to public speak.
I studied philosophy and the economics and history for 20 years before I picked up a microphone in my car and started yelling at invisible people while I was in traffic.
So if you prepare your virtues, if you prepare your knowledge, if you prepare your integrity, you'll be ready for just about anything that happens.
And that's the work that I suggest parents tell their children to focus on rather than giving them specific goals that require somebody else's participation.
You know, you need to get married.
Well, yeah, if you find the right person, but the best way to find the right person is to be ready for the right person and be out in the world.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it sounds like what you're saying is that what I should focus on for them is just maybe modeling virtues that I want them to also have and encouraging them in their virtues so that no matter what happens in their life, because you're right, you can't really control what your kids do anyways.
And that's a fool's errand.
No, and they can't control when love might wander into their life.
Yeah.
But they can control whether they'll be ready for it with the right virtues and morals.
Right.
No, that makes that makes really good sense.
And yeah, like that's super helpful because I've been thinking about this a lot, a lot lately.
And I would say it's even harder for my son.
You know, he lives in California and God help him with the dating out there.
It's.
Well, I mean, you might want to follow Mike Cernovich because he talks about this from time to time because he lives in California and everyone says, oh, how can you live in California?
It's so leftist.
And he's like, not all of it.
No, not all of it.
There's lots of pockets of more conservative and non-left-leaning people in California.
So, I mean, as you know, California is not one big giant blob of semi-socialism, but there are lots of pockets where there are much more reasonable people.
And I'm sure that your son can find some location where that's happening.
Yeah, definitely.
No.
Yeah, thanks for your advice.
That's wonderful.
I'm definitely going to marinate on that.
I appreciate it.
And I love listening to your lives.
So thanks again.
Thanks.
I really appreciate that.
So excellent question.
All right.
Let's see one more barcode.
Going once, going twice.
Are we going to have an ignomious end of dead air to the show?
Wait, all right.
No.
Barcode.
Barcode.
What do you think or hypso?
I'll do a run, man.
What are we doing?
What's going on today?
I just kind of jumped in.
Do you have a question or a comment?
A criticism?
I'm glad you're here.
You know, I saw a lot of the long phone videos on YouTube before they tried to sharpen everybody's brain into a fucking focus coma with the shorts, you know, like 15 seconds, five seconds, you know, before they tried to scramble everybody's brains.
You know what I mean?
Right, right.
So anyways, it was just, it was, this is weird.
You know, I'm in X and scrolling around in brain-dripped opamine land.
And then I was able to stop here for a minute.
I actually sat here for a minute, you know, sit and scroll forever.
Well, I appreciate that.
And welcome to the conversation.
I, you know, absorb, absorb, and I'm happy to hear your comments as you slurp up more tasty syllables of potential wisdom.
We'll try to comprehend what I can.
You know what I mean?
It's like a word salad gets thrown at you digitally through somebody else's kaleidoscope.
And, you know, you end up shredding the lettuce.
I don't know if that makes any sense.
You know, that's where NPC and somebody thinking their own thoughts comes from is trying to figure it out.
All right.
Well, I appreciate that.
I'm going to move to another caller.
Thank you for your follow and thank you for your interesting philosophy.
Could be a troll.
Could be a troll.
Hi, Stephen.
Hang on.
We got Stefani Molly Mime is on the line.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I get skipped?
Oh, Ipso facto?
Yeah, I called in you a couple of minutes ago.
No, that was Ipso facto speaking.
I was barcode.
I was just waiting my turn.
Oh, barcode.
Sorry about that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Did you not hear when I was?
No, I did.
He just started speaking, so I waited for him to finish.
Sorry about that.
All right.
I'm all the ears, man.
What's on your mind?
So I have a conundrum.
I'm listening to all this talk about dating and marriage and definitely marry early is generally a good idea.
I made the mistake of, you know, not living as morally as I should have in my 20s.
I'm now early 30s, approaching mid-30s.
I spent about probably four years with one woman and I caught her cheating, like emotionally.
So we broke up.
Then I dated another woman for two years.
And she, we just had incompatible worldviews.
You know, she was a Protestant.
I'm Catholic.
I was trying to return to that kind of faith.
And she, we just had incompatibility because she came out full-blown, full-blown feminist, didn't want to, you know, get married, have kids, live the traditional lifestyle.
So I'm sorry, that happened over the course of your relationship.
Yeah, yeah.
Like when we first met, you know, we seemed to have the same goals in mind.
And then sort of.
So you seemed to or you did?
We did.
Like we had these conversations early on and then COVID happened and something, it was just political incompatibility and suddenly she started seeing men as the enemy and then we just kind of split and diverged from there.
Because of COVID, she started seeing men as the enemy.
I think, I mean, part of it, it's just like the social media, it seemed like, you know, we went in different circles.
It sort of came on quite rapidly, like over six to 12 month period.
You could just see like her feed.
If you would, if I would watch TikTok with her, a lot of it was just anti-man and like pro-women.
And, you know, I have to be very careful to curate my own feeds such that I don't get sucked into these MGTOW stuff and all the negativity and the constant battle between the sexes.
But she just kind of like the provoked.
It's the provoked battle between the sexes.
But sorry, go on.
Yeah.
So, I mean, the present state I'm at now is I've been seeing this girl for on and off for three years.
She's non-political, which makes it easier.
But, you know, we've had serious relationship troubles.
We stopped talking for a couple months, then we got back together.
I'm at an age now in my early mid-30s where it's almost like a sunk cost fallacy.
Do I go out there and try again for something that's going to probably be more stable?
Why do you have what are the relationship troubles or the top one or two?
I don't know.
I don't know how to describe it.
I mean, I guess why did you stop talking for a couple of months?
Sarah.
Yeah.
All right.
So the top two problems are my family and friends despise her and think she's terrible for me.
That's number one.
And number two is...
Why?
Because that's a big one, right?
So why do your family and friends think she's terrible for you?
She ruined a wedding among my cousins in a family reunion in England.
And then she also ruined another wedding, a separate instance where I was the best man.
And how did she ruin the wedding?
So this brings me to her second, the second biggest problem is I think she genuinely has bipolar disorder.
And maybe.
Okay, so why are you with her?
Because in the moments where she's not ruining weddings or freaking out from social anxiety, she's quite lovely.
She's smart.
She's funny.
We get along.
She's beautiful.
You know, and especially in like...
Yes.
And also, you know, in private, like she's genuinely nice.
Okay, you're not a kid.
I'm going to be hot.
I'm going to be hot.
Yeah.
I'm not a kid.
What is dating for?
Marriage.
What is marriage for?
Children.
Will she be a great mother?
Maybe?
Oh, come on, man.
You're telling me everything I need to know about your mother, but objectively, will she be a great mother?
She did say, if I marry her, when we get divorced, I can keep the kids in my house.
Okay.
Are you trolling me at this point?
No, genuinely.
She said that.
You can't be this unserious and almost middle-aged.
Oh, all right.
Come on.
You think this is some kind of joke?
No, but it's also, it's this.
Why are you doing some comedy routine about exposing your children to a crazy mother?
I mean, I don't know.
I'm laughing to keep from crying here, right?
It's like.
Okay, well, that's the honest then.
I mean, I'm too old to start over is the, is the truth of it.
And it's like, do I go without children or like poach some young woman just to, you know, have kids?
You are not too old to have children.
I had a kid.
I was 40, 41, something like that, right?
You're not too old to have children, but you got to get a little more fucking serious about what you're doing.
It's true.
I mean, you are too old to be chasing the top right of the hot crazy matrix.
Are you completely just thinking with your, are you dicknapped?
Is that it?
She's hot.
She's great in bed.
She's exciting.
She's thrilling.
She's pretty.
I mean, is it that?
Is it just the sin of lust?
I mean, maybe.
I tried dating like a more trad con girl between the two-year relationship and this present one.
And I found, you know, I found it just kind of boring.
I just, I don't know.
I mean, maybe I'm a masochist at this point, but I just.
So you found a stable woman boring?
Yeah, unfortunately.
Well.
Well, then what happens is you've kind of burned out your neurons managing crazy women.
And you're like, you have to be, you know, like there are people who get addicted to, I guess, extreme tastes.
Like they can only like massive amounts of sugar or fat or salt.
Like they just can't taste normal food that's actually good for them because they've jammed all of these hyperkinetic receptors onto their taste buds for years, right?
That makes a lot of sense.
So what would you do?
So you are in the final stages of hedonism, which is you've got to cool your jets and start to find pleasure in stuff that's not an extreme because you've made dating about your dick, not about what's going to be best for your future children.
And listen, I sympathize.
I'm not scowling at you from some high place of superiority.
I sympathize.
We've all been there as men.
We've all been there as men.
I mean, if we're any kind of dater, right?
It's the siren, right?
The lure, right?
The crazy, intense woman who's a roller coaster and it is exciting and it's stimulating and there's highs and lows and there's lots of drama and so on, right?
It's not a documentary on snails.
It's doing cocaine and jumping from a plane, right?
So I get all of that.
And like most people, and I've certainly had my experiences with hedonism.
So again, I'm not lecturing from any superior place here.
I'm just passing along some pretty hard-won wisdom is there's no pleasure in the long run like stability.
That makes a lot of sense.
Because you're sort of the equivalent of the binge purge, right?
Like there's no, there's nothing really that's better in the long run than a decent meal and a predictable weight, as opposed to I'm up 40 pounds.
I'm down 50 pounds.
I'm up 20 pounds.
That's bad for your system and all of that.
And so, you know, if you want to do a call-in show, we can talk about this.
The roots of this, I have to go shortly, but the roots of this is that, I mean, come on.
Your parents had to have some kind of unstable relationship.
You had to have some kind of wiring hooked up pretty early about the extremes, right?
Yeah, that's accurate.
Right.
So you're used to that, right?
Yeah.
So you're used to that and you have you copy paste what your dad does, right?
Did your dad marry an unstable woman?
I'd say so.
Yeah.
Right.
So we are programmed to do what our fathers do for the simple reason that our fathers were sexually successful.
And our genes program us to do what is sexually successful.
Because if we don't do what's sexually successful, those genes don't make it, right?
Right.
So you are programmed to copy paste your dad.
And if your dad had a taste for the unstable strange, then that's going to be your template.
That makes sense.
You have to challenge that template.
I mean, did it work out in terms of long-term happiness for daddy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She, I mean, my mom growing up was a bit bipolar and seems to have cooled off.
And, you know, they're best friends now.
They married something like 40-something years at this point.
Okay.
How are their kids doing?
I'm successful.
My two brothers are not well.
What do you mean you're successful?
You're dating a chick who ruins weddings.
You know, I own property, career-wise.
No, no.
I'm talking about love.
Yeah, that's where I've not had it.
The career stuff is IQ.
The love stuff is wisdom.
So are any of his children successful in love?
Yeah, well, I mean, my younger brother's married, so he managed.
He's not worthy.
Is he happy?
Is he happily married?
I don't know if he's happy.
Shouldn't you?
I mean, your siblings.
Don't you talk?
No, we don't speak anymore.
I'm not going to get into it.
Another time in.
So his kids are not particularly happy in that at least two of his children don't even speak to each other.
You're not married and dating a crazy girl.
What about your other brother?
He's a let.
I'm also not speaking to him.
Okay, so if your father's happy, it's only because he's completely ignoring the unhappiness of his children.
I see.
So that's kind of selfish, right?
I mean, good parents generally can't be happier than their least happy children or their least happy child.
I mean, it's unfortunate because it's not like through any fault of theirs that my brother's turned out this way.
Like my younger brother is trans.
Oh, man.
No, come on.
Come on.
Well, come on.
I mean, this generally.
No, I'm not even letting that one go by a bit.
You're talking to the wrong guy.
You're talking to the wrong guy.
Sorry.
If you're going to say the parents have nothing to do with how their children turn out, yeah.
No, that's not something.
That's not something.
I just can't even let that sit for a moment.
I can't even let that float on the surface before previewing it down.
Now, I know that there are studies that say that parents have a limited effect and so on, but this is all studies where kids all go into the same brain rock, government schools and so on.
I would invite you to look at the fact that your parents were not wildly successful.
I'm not saying they're terrible parents, but they weren't wildly successful in creating happiness for their children.
And it probably is a good idea for you to review what they did.
Because I asked your father, did it work out for your father?
Oh, yeah, no, he's fine.
He's happy.
He's this, he's that.
It's like, but his kids are not doing particularly well.
And that should, to some degree, cloud his happiness so that he has an incentive to try and fix it.
Anyway, you can go to freedomain.com slash call.
You or anybody, sorry, I didn't get to everyone here.
I have an appointment coming up.
So you can go to freedomain.call.
We can do a call-in.
It can be public or private.
It's generally a really good idea with these kinds of things because, especially for you, time is running out.
And again, the public ones are totally free.
So if you want to go to freedomain.com slash call, we can set that up.
Thank you so much, everyone, for dropping by today.
A real pleasure to chat with you.
And let's hope that the better recording setup works in a way that I like because I have a bit of a fetish for at least decent recordings.
Thank you, everyone, so much.
Sorry to the people we didn't get to.
Thank you.
Lots of love them here, freedomain.com slash tonight to help out the show.
If you could, I would really appreciate it.
And I'll talk to you soon.
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