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July 3, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:07:50
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!
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All right.
Hello, hello.
We are starting with great subtlety and soft tones to not startle the people I've been in grim combat with all day on Twitter.
So much fun.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me tonight, Stéphane Molyneux, from FreeDomain at freedomain.com.
Not to be confused with FritoLays.com.
Freedomaine.com.
I am, in fact, showing on Rumble.
I am in fact showing on Rumble.
You are incorrect.
And in general, if people are live streaming, it's probably quite helpful if you check before saying things aren't working.
But anyway.
All right.
Let me just get to the various places and things that we can talk about on X. Working out with Steph this evening.
Oh, look at that micro-muscle.
Good enough for opening jam jars that have already been loosened by my wife, who is all of 5'1.8.
But that's tall for a Greek woman, I suppose.
Hi.
How you guys doing tonight?
How you guys doing tonight?
Hope you're having a glorious and gorgeous evening.
I am, of course, thrilled beyond words to get your questions, comments, issues, challenges, and problems.
And somebody says, what have we got here?
All right.
So glad to finally catch a live stream live.
Usually listen to them after they get posted to locals.
Thank you for your commitment to truth and philosophy.
I appreciate that.
Good evening.
Good evening, everyone.
Bring your challenges, your questions, your problems, whatever is on your nogin.
I will put my login.
No, that's a little sinister and probably this close.
Sorry.
I mean this close to me too.
All right.
So topic of the day, I suppose one of the things that seems to have changed just a tiny smidge since I was last front and center on the old social media bandwagon is the level of despair among young men about getting married, settling down and having the wee bairns, the wee, the robby barons, the little kids, is really quite something.
And this, of course, was a little bit around when I was working on sort of men's rights stuff.
For those of you who don't know, and there's no reason why you would in any particular way, I'd be doing a lot of stuff around the men's rights movement.
I remember giving a speech in Detroit at a men's rights conference when there were bomb and death threats.
I've interviewed a lot of fairly prominent men's rights activists, and I've written an entire book where the hero is a men's rights activist.
How common is that?
The answer is not.
It's not common.
And do I have massive bona feeds?
You know, I mean, I gave entire speeches at Orlando, ran entire Q ⁇ A sessions in Orlando a few years ago about men's rights issues.
So I think I should have a smidge of credibility with this stuff.
But let me sort of just push back on some of the things that people are pushing on me, which again, I could be wrong and I'm totally happy to be corrected, of course.
Yeah, Detroit.
Yeah, it was Detroit, right?
And so first and foremost, saying I'm out of touch.
Again, I completely understand where you're coming from.
I'm a little older.
Say it to my good ear.
I'm a little older.
And so I get that people are like, you know, out of touch, boomer, ubercuck, or whatever it is, right?
Simp.
I get that.
And I understand where that's coming from.
Thank you for the tip, Dorbens.
Freedomain.com slash donate.
I really, really appreciate that.
Freedomain.com slash donate.
So I understand that.
I do, you know, there's not a law that's passed when you get close to 60 that you're not allowed to have any younger people in your life.
Most of my friends are younger because I was an older parent.
So to have kids around my daughter's age when she was growing up, my friends are mostly younger, so I get a big view into that.
My daughter's going to be 17 in the not too distant future.
What is it?
Oh yeah, now, do you know that given that we're past midway point of 2025, we're actually closer to 2050 than 2000?
He was hoping to make it to 2050.
I should make it to 2050.
No problem.
25 years from where I am, that's only 84.
I can do that in my sleep.
So I do talk to younger people.
And of course, I've been running this calling show for 20 years.
I've talked to thousands of people about the sort of deepest personal issues.
And one of the things that happens when I talk in particular to young men, though also to young women, but one of the things that happens is they're single and they haven't asked women out.
And if they can get you to not ask women out, they've won.
Like the bad guys have just won.
They've just won.
And of course, there's a lot of psyops out there.
Don't listen to anyone older than you.
That's one, right?
Which means you don't get the wisdom stuff.
And there's this weird thing where people believe that the Me Too movement criminalized talking to women.
Like, oh, you go and talk to a woman, you'll go to jail.
It's like, the fudge?
Defudge on a stick?
What does that even mean?
I mean, the Me Too movement was around, you know, creepy, tubby, half-bald men in Hollywood who demanded that young hot actresses have sex with them in order to advance their careers and punish them when they didn't.
That's not talking to a girl in a coffee shop, bro.
It's not the thing.
It's not the thing.
And I get there's resentment towards women.
I understand there's frustration towards women.
I get that.
And you can definitely turn on your women, folk.
You can do that, and the bad guys win.
And so I do have a lot of exposure to younger people.
I have a fairly unique view on the world.
I'm the only philosopher in history that has had these kinds of thousands of in-depth philosophical and personal discussions with people across two decades.
Thousands and thousands of these conversations.
It is a completely unique view.
Of course, you know, I mean, I guess Dr. Phil talks to people all the time, but he's not a philosopher.
He's a cock with a mustache.
But that's a topic for another time.
So I do have a pretty unique view.
I do have a lot of knowledge.
I do have a lot of experience.
And I do have a lot of insight because of all the people that I've talked to.
And most of the people who call into my show are not pushing 60 like I am.
They are younger men and younger women.
So I do have a pretty unique view with regards to that.
Now, I get family courts are pretty terrible.
I get that there are false accusations.
I've been talking about this for years and years and years.
It's called S-A-I-D, Sexual Abuse Allegations in Divorce.
It is absolutely appalling and terrifying and wrong.
And again, I've been talking about it for years and years and years.
And again, the people who are relatively new to me on Twitter, I get that.
I just look like some weird out-of-touch guy who's just a, hey, you should date like I did in the 80s.
I understand that.
And I sympathize with that.
I also sympathize with the fear and the danger.
And I'm not saying the danger is zero.
I'm not saying the danger is zero.
But what's the difference?
Genetically, what's the difference between being demoralized and being dead?
Foundationally, genetically, what is the difference between being demoralized and being dead?
Genetically, if you're not going to talk to girls and you're not going to date and you're too nervous or scared or jumpy or agitated or angry, then you're a dead end.
I mean, genetically, you can have your life and I'm sure it'll be an okay life, but I guess I speak on behalf of your ancestors.
And I know some of you feel that I'm old enough to have met them personally.
I get that.
But I suppose I speak on behalf of your ancestors.
And false allegations.
I mean, the Salem witch trials, there were 25 men out of the 200 people who were accused and sometimes burnt at the stake or tortured to death.
There were 25 men, which is more than 10%.
False accusations have occurred in the past.
You say, oh, but there's a lot of propaganda.
Yeah, there's a lot of propaganda right now.
And there was a lot of propaganda throughout.
Do you not think that there was a lot of propaganda when I was a kid?
Do you not think that, at least now you've got some variety.
You've got some possibility that, you know, when I grew up, there were three television stations.
And it was all run by the government.
I guess ITV maybe was more private, but BBC One and BBC Two were run by the government.
So there's massive amounts of propaganda.
Go back to the Middle Ages.
What kind of propaganda were they subject to in the Middle Ages?
Well, the king is appointed by God and the priest is infallible.
But at least, and by the way, the Mass is in Latin and you're not allowed to learn how to read.
Or it's very unlikely that you will.
So I get that every person, every person is susceptible to the idea that theirs is the worst age of all.
Because we see a lot of the benefits of prior ages.
We don't go through the same suffering.
You know, what's left of the cathedrals and the works of art and all of that and the great works of literature, the everyday suffering of the people is not really visible to us.
It's sort of like if you look, man, you know, in the 60s, there were all these great songs.
And it's like, well, of course all that we get are the songs that lasted the test of time.
I mean, I was a DJ in university and the library of albums that the university had was staggering.
And I remember thumbing through it and playing some stuff from the 60s that hadn't lasted the test of the time.
It was terrible.
And, you know, in general, the things that don't last the test of time has a pretty good reason for them, which is that they're not pretty good.
Not very good.
So those who don't want you to have children, sort of the, I don't know, the enemies of the West, or like those who don't want you to have children will lure, for men, they will lure women into making bad decisions.
They will propagandize them.
They will try to turn them against men.
And then when the women are turned against men, then the men attempted to turn against the women.
But women score much higher than men in the trait agreeableness, which has its pluses and its minuses, like all the big five personality traits.
It has its pluses and its minuses.
So women are more susceptible, a little bit, to propaganda.
And what is the one common theme in fairy tales?
Well, the young maiden gets taken away by some beast and the young man has to go and rescue her.
And the sort of hive mind that women are a little bit more susceptible to, that's the dragon, that's the grendel, that's the monster, that's the whatever, right?
And the young prince or the young knight or the young whoever is a squire has to go and rescue the woman from the dragon.
And that's from the hive mind to some degree, right?
So this is an age-old thing that women want to be agreeable to other women, but they can't reproduce unless they please men.
And finding this balance between conformity with the collective and the joys of individual thinking is a big tension In society, it always has been.
It won't always be because at some point reason and evidence is going to win, or there's just a smoking crater where the planet used to be.
But people who are saying now, well, you know, women are kind of crazy and so on, it's like, you know, well, men came home from the Second World War after their fathers had been blown up in the First World War.
They came home from the Second World War and they started reproducing, even though, even though, you know, 50, 60 million people had been wiped out in two world wars.
There'd been a massive boom and bust, a 14-year Great Depression.
And then relatively quickly after the end of the Second World War, the communists bled the secrets to making the bomb to communist Russia.
And then there was the Cold War, and there was the threat of immediate vaporization.
That's the threat that I grew up under, was the threat of nuclear war, of immediate vaporization.
Yet we persisted.
Yet we persisted.
So you can give up.
You can give up.
I just don't want you to feel that it's inevitable or that it is a wise decision.
I mean, if you want to give up, I mean, what am I going to do?
Come over and drag you off on dates?
Nope.
I am not going to do that at all.
So if you don't want to continue your line, if you are too nervous, too anxious, and listen, being nervous and anxious or scared is not always irrational.
I get that.
I mean, if I'm being chased by a bear, I'm scared, right?
But if you choose not to continue your line, then that's your choice.
I'm just not going to let you believe that these times are somehow uniquely terrible.
And even though for thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of years, or billions, if you want to count all the way back, that your ancestors for epochs, millennia, and time immemorial managed to struggle and fight through to give you the gift of life.
And you say, well, there's a lot of feminism, so it all ends with me.
I just think that's sad.
I think that's sad.
Are there risks out there?
Well, yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
There are risks out there.
I get that.
And the risks in the past, of course, were famine, war, your beloved wife dying in childbirth, half your children dying before the age of five, disease, plagues, almost no political freedom, no free speech of any kind, no real access to books or learning for the vast majority of men and women.
It was bad back then, too.
And all the people who were like, yeah, but my ancestors, at least they had this, at least they had that.
It was better off.
They could do this.
Okay, then, you know, the Mennonites are taking applications, man.
You can go and live your quasi-medieval life with the Mennonites, but people don't do that.
So you don't really want that.
So you don't really believe it.
So let's stop talking about it.
All I want is black bean soup and you go to make it with me.
Okay, here's some black bean soup.
Oh, I don't want that.
Ah, in the Middle Ages, in the oldy times, where the shops were with a PE at the end, things were just so much better.
Okay, well, you can go and join the Mennonites.
The Amish, you can't really, because you've got to be invited in.
Like only 100 people have done that, but more than that have joined the Mennonites.
Well, I don't want that.
Okay.
Then you're stuck with modernity and have to make a go of it.
Ah, well, our ancestors, they had to choose some scar, scarred up, smallpox-faced woman who never bathed her.
Hoo-hoo.
Never brushed her teeth.
He could do it.
But I'm afraid of the course and rejection.
And here's the thing, too, because people, this is my concern.
And obviously, I do want to take your questions and comments.
I'm very happy to get your questions and comments.
But let me just sort of finish at this point, and then I'll get back to you.
Yeah, the risk of your kids turning into wokeys.
Well, then homeschool.
Yeah, and in the past, I mean, men were regularly conscripted to fight wars.
They had reasons to not reproduce either, yet still here we are.
So here's my concern, because I know everybody's just so fascinated by my concerns.
Here's my concern.
It is scary.
It is scary to ask girls out.
I've told this story before that the first girl, I started at the very top, like the queen bee at the junior high school.
I started at the top and just worked my way down until a girl said yes, which is a reasonable strategy.
And I asked the first girl out and I said, would you like to go swimming with me?
And she said, oh no, I said, would you like to go swimming?
And she's like, with who?
You and some guy I might like.
And she said, I said, well, with me.
And she said, I'll be busy.
I didn't even say the day.
No, I said Friday anyway.
So, and that's fine.
You know, she obviously free to say no.
So then I licked my wounds, felt bad.
And you get back on the horse.
Don't you?
Is that not a thing anymore?
You get rejected and you get back on the horse?
Is that not a thing anymore?
Like you get rejected and that's it?
Like one rejection?
One woman said no.
One girl said no, and that's the end of my line.
I'm glad you're not a hunter.
Well, my first arrow missed, so I guess we're all going to starve to death now.
That seems a little passive-aggressive, bro.
Oof.
Thank you.
And I should have said to her, you know, hindsight is easy, right?
Oh, yeah, you won't go out with me because you have to wash your hair?
hey, ma'am, in a couple of years, I won't have any hair to wash.
So is that a thing now?
That you get rejected or you fail or you fear failure and you just don't try?
So, my concern is that you know what the devil does?
The devil says, I'm going to turn your fears into a virtue.
I'm going to turn your fears rational.
I'm going to turn avoiding what you're most afraid of into a sensible and rational virtue.
That's what the devil himself will do.
I don't do that.
I'm going to battle people's nihilism and I'm going to battle people's despair and resignation and I'm just going to battle it.
And if you don't want to be battled and challenged on these things, I strongly invite you to go elsewhere on X and on Twitter.
I'm just telling you straight up, I am not going to stop.
Yeah, if you could repost the stream, I'd really, really appreciate that.
Yeah, I'm not going to stop.
I'm not going to stop.
So just be aware of that so that you're not shocked if it continues.
It doesn't mean that's all I'm going to post about, of course, but when it comes up.
So the devil says, it's not that you're scared of talking to girls.
That's not it, man.
You know what?
What really is it?
What really is going on, man, is that it's rational.
It is too dangerous.
You know, there are family courts.
There's the Me Too movement.
There are false accusations.
There's mockery.
Some girl might secretly record your approach to her and post it, and you could get burned up.
And so it's totally rational, man.
It's not that you're afraid of a bunny.
You're afraid of a bear.
And it's sensible to be afraid of a bear.
And the devil would just hand you excuses.
He will just hand you excuses.
And what happens is that you then say, well, no, I'm not avoiding a necessary challenge in life.
I'm being cautious and sensible, and it's everyone else's fault.
*Sigh* Thank you.
That's my concern.
My concern is not that people have sort of rationally evaluated things.
My concern is that talking to girls is scary.
Rejection is painful.
And finding out where you are in the sexual market value pecking order is humbling.
It's humbling.
Thank you for the tip, Dusty.
I will get to your question.
Freedomain.com slash Donny to help out the show.
Hugely appreciate it.
So my concern is that the devil is basically just whispering in everyone's ears saying, yeah, yeah, it's too scary out there.
Yeah, you shouldn't talk to girls.
Yeah, it's girls' fault.
Yeah, they vote in self-destructive ways.
Yeah, repeal the 19.
You know, whatever it is, right?
And you'll just get ginned up.
And there's a lot of people out there on the internet who are going to sell you comfort with weakness.
And I'm not shaming.
I have things that I'm weak about too.
I mean, just being honest, right?
What they're going to do is they're going to say, you know, avoiding that, which frightens you, rather than embracing it and walking towards the fire, it makes sense.
I mean, who wants to walk towards the fire?
You're just going to get burned to the ground, right?
So the people who tell you to just use women, have sex with women, avoid women, men going their own way and so on, it's like, you know, just you should step out of the arena.
It's too dangerous.
It's too bad.
Even though I know dozens of families with a bunch of kids and they're all pretty happily married.
It's the old thing that like, don't get online IDAs.
Don't get, don't, oh my God.
All these OnlyFans girls, all these Instagram girls just posting nude, semi-nude pictures or whatever.
It's like, that's online, bro.
It's not the real world.
I mean, I'm not saying it's the opposite because those people are in the world and there's a lot more than there used to be, of course, right?
But it's not the real world.
I have talked to parents who are frustrated at the situation.
I've talked to people, even strangers that I just chat with randomly, who are like, yeah, I want my son to ask out girls, but he won't.
Or, yeah, my daughter's upset because guys aren't asking her out, even though she's, you know, chatting around.
smiles at boys and they like and even if hmm So the 50% divorce rate is a total psyop.
It's a lie.
It's put forward by bitter shitty people.
It's not true.
It's not true.
Absolutely not true.
It includes remarriages and it's just the divorce rate and the marriage rate and divided and it's all absolutely false.
If you do just a couple of things, just a couple of things, you can virtually eliminate your chance of getting divorced.
A couple of things.
Nothing major.
Nothing major.
So you have to have shared values or at least a shared methodology of resolving disputes, right?
We don't scream at each other.
We don't yell.
We don't call each other names.
Marriage is a game and the game has rules.
And I don't play chess with people who make up, oh, I think this knight can go diagonal.
I think that this bishop can go straight and I think the queen can only move three spaces.
Like I don't play games with people who don't respect the rules.
Why would I?
It's not a game.
That's just a manipulation.
So when you date, and how are we going to, we're going to have disputes?
How are we going to resolve disputes?
And you got to play by the rules.
Doesn't mean you don't need to be reminded of the rules from time to time, but yeah, you don't yell, you don't intimidate, you don't storm out, you don't gossip, you don't bully, you don't, right?
Just treat each other reasonably.
And you can test that all out in the dating world.
Share shared values, shared methodologies of resolving disputes.
The shared values include a similar approach to money.
So don't get married super young.
You put these things together, Your chances of divorce are virtually zero.
Because the divorce statistics include all the idiots who marry just for lust, or who marry because someone told them to, or who panic marry, or who marry despite obvious red flags.
I mean, it's like taking five people, two of whom are drunk drivers, and then saying, wow, you know, driving is really dangerous.
It's like, you don't think that the drunk drivers might be skewing that danger a little bit?
I mean, I mean, I've been, I came from a broken home.
All my friends, most of my friends had no dads, broken homes.
And I've been married now 23 years.
We're going to stay together forever.
It's perfect because I did some, I mean, I did therapy and all of that, but I did some wise things and she did some wise things in our conversations ahead of time.
You have some control over these things.
It's not like a crapshoot.
It's not like, wow, you know, they're two guys in a room, man.
The bullet of divorce is going to hit one of them.
I hope that's passive and that's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
Life is not a dice roll.
Life is not random.
I didn't get randomly deplatformed.
But I did have a random salad and have a little something stuck in my teeth.
It's better.
It's better now.
So life is not random.
And of course, I'm sort of here to try and give you some tips and tools that will help you not fall prey to randomness.
It's like taking five people, two of whom are chain smokers, and saying, ooh, you mix all those statistics in together, saying, oh man, lung cancer is super common.
It's like, yeah, but you mix the smokers in with the people who don't smoke, so it's really not very accurate.
Take the idiots out of the marriage pool and put in sensible people who talk about values and virtues.
And the risk of divorce, 5% or less.
And of that 5%, I don't know.
I mean, who knows, right?
I don't know what the answer is to that, but it doesn't really matter.
95% success rate.
Yeah, thinking that life is random diminishes or removes one's self-agency.
Sure.
And here's the thing, too.
I got to tell you, I'm sure this is true to some degree with single fathers, but it really is true of single mothers.
Which is this.
People who've made really, really bad decisions in their life are addicted to telling you that life is random.
There was no way I could have known that your father was going to be unfaithful.
I mean, it's true I stole him from his last girlfriend, who stole him from his last girlfriend, and he was dating four people over the course of our early dating relationship, but there was no way, right?
So people who've made bad decisions will constantly tell you that life is random and they had no control over the variables.
So I'm concerned that people are getting infected, infected by people's shitty justifications for shitty decisions and calling it some kind of rational approach to philosophy or life or choices.
There was no way to tell.
It just happened is what people who've made bad choices always say.
Always will say that, right?
So there's a lot of people out there who've made bad decisions.
They've married the wrong person.
They raised their children wrong.
They have lacked ambition.
They have lacked drive.
They've lacked concentration.
They've procrastinated.
They've laced around.
They've dated for pure hedonistic reasons and they fail.
And then they say, it's not me.
It's the system.
Now, does the system suck?
Like a vacuum.
And yes, the system sucks.
I get that.
But the system has always sucked, and it sucks in many ways less now than it ever has before.
You can meet a lot more women now than you ever could in the past, which means that you can be more selective.
Also, the fact that there are fewer good men and women out there also means that there are fewer good men and women looking, which means the ratio of people looking and good people is pretty much the same.
So let's say that half the people have been demoralized, but half the people are also bad people to date.
They're probably similar.
So the good people to good people ratio may not be as bad as you think it is.
And also, it's funny because the men say, well, the women are just looking for the top 5 or 10% of guys.
Well, I mean, if you're getting rejected a lot, you may be aiming higher than you can get in terms of looks, right?
And so you can look smacks, I guess, to some degree, but that only goes so far.
But the grim reality of life, if you want to know how attractive you are, look at the person you're married to.
That's pretty much it.
And I know the homath arguments that looks matching used to work, now it doesn't.
I get all of that for sure.
But if people of average looks didn't get together with people of average looks, there would be no people with average looks.
If people with below average looks didn't get together with people below average looks, there would be no people of below average looks.
Like women are willing to have sex with men who go bald.
Men are not willing to have sex with women who go bald as a whole, which is why there are bald men, but not bald women.
sigh you Yeah, female rejection is supposed to be horrible.
Yes, of course.
In the short run, right?
this is my big sort of argument to people or regarding people as a whole at the moment.
In the short run, like in the short run, not asking a girl out is safer and easier than asking a girl out.
It is.
And I understand that.
I sympathize with that.
I appreciate that.
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
We've all been there.
But what about the long run?
You know, at least a good portion of the first half of your life needs to be planning for the second half of your life.
This is something I got from Carl Jung many years ago, right?
And the first half of the first quarter of your life when you're a kid, you know, to 20 or whatever, I can't really do much planning as a whole.
So you've got from 20 to 40 to plan from 40 to 80.
Or 90 these days, 85, 90, right?
So you've got 20 years.
You got to plan for that second half of your life.
This is one of the things that annoyed people in the past because I was talking about women, right?
Oh, you can have fun dating around when you're younger, but what are you going to do from 40 to 85?
It's almost a half century.
And I've recently, I've sort of mentioned this earlier, I've recently sort of passed over that threshold of girls don't, women don't check me out anymore, right?
Because I understand that.
Because I'm sort of biologically at that point where it would be unlikely that I would see a newborn through to adulthood, right?
So there's just this kind of instinct that I'm a little grizzled, I'm a little weathered, and I just sort of noticed this after the last year or two.
But that happens to women a lot younger.
And it's tough, right?
They used to call this women of a certain age, right?
Yeah, it's supposed to be really upsetting when you get rejected.
And this is why lust was turned up so high.
So you lust, and to get a woman to have sex with you, you have to marry her.
I mean, all of that's changed.
I get that, right?
But it's not pretty for the people who stay single.
And I was saying this on X today.
That if you get early, mid-20s without a girlfriend, what do you signal to a woman?
What is it like to be, because what are women looking for?
What is it like to be on the receiving end of a guy who's 24, 25, never had a girlfriend?
Well, first of all, she's going to assume that you're a pornography addict, right?
And she probably is right.
Not always, but probably.
But she's also going to say, okay, so Bro has had like seven, eight, nine years to get a girlfriend.
He's been unable to get a girlfriend.
Either all the women are saying no, and if all the girls and women say no, well, there's probably a reason, or he lacks that elemental courage to just ask girls out, get knocked down, get back up again, ask some other girl out, get knocked down.
I mean, God, go learn from our Arab friends, right?
So it's really tough.
It's really tough to get, because women are looking for courage, right?
They're looking for courage.
I mean, instinctually, they're looking for courage, assertiveness.
They're looking for directness.
They're looking for maybe even a certain level of aggression because you had to historically fight with other men for the resources.
And she's not going to want to mate with a guy who doesn't display any particular signs of courage and directness.
And I see something, I go for it.
If I get it or not, it's not as important as the fact that I saw it and went for it.
So you don't have a long time.
You don't have a long time.
The quality women are getting snapped up left, right, and center, of course, right?
And from, I don't know, when people start dating 16, 15, 16, 17, you've got eight years, nine years.
And this is not an absolute rule.
There's exceptions and so on.
But you don't have as long as you think you do.
And it's not a straight line and then a drop-off, right?
You have sort of fairly significant sexual market value when you're young, late teens, right?
For men too and women, right?
And then it goes down.
It doesn't just and then it doesn't drop off a cliff.
It goes down.
Every day you don't ask a girl out and get her to at least get on a date at some possibility.
Every day you don't do that, your sexual market value declines.
Every cigarette you smoke increases your risk of cancer.
And every day you let go by without talking to a girl, asking a girl out, doing the manly business of continuing the line and falling in love and having children and a legacy and people to take care of you when you're old.
Every day you don't do that, your sexual market value diminishes.
I'm just being straight up with you.
I want to help.
I want you to panic a little bit.
I want you to panic.
And again, it's not an absolute hard and fast rule.
There's exceptions, but don't count on being the exceptions.
That's like not saving for your retirement saying, oh, I'll just play the lottery.
There are exceptions, but don't plan on them.
Grandma Moses became a famous artist later on.
And it doesn't guarantee, of course, that you're going to get the love of your life, but it's guaranteed that you won't if you don't try anything.
That I guarantee you.
If you don't try anything, you get nothing.
And I'll tell you the last thing the devil does, and I'll make sure I get your questions.
So the last thing the devil does is when it's beyond fixing, he lifts the veil.
It's also called a midlife crisis or perpetual regret.
When it is beyond fixing, the devil will lift the veil and regret will come pouring in.
Ah, shit, I should have.
Come on.
There's literally a meme for this or a trope for this, and it's way older than memes and tropes, but the one that got away.
Don't you have, if you're a man, some girl, a woman, if you're a woman, some boy or man.
I should have.
I wonder if I let her get away.
It'll slip through my fingers.
I mean, I've got tons of messages over the years from the guys who are like, man, she was flirting with me.
I didn't even realize it.
She kept hanging around and laughing and touching her hair.
She touched me on the knee.
She asked me to start a fire for her when we were camping.
And I was just like, okay, I'll go get the wood.
And I sympathize because, you know, we're not raised well.
I sympathize.
But don't be, you know, it's a long life to have regret in, man.
It is a long life to have regret in.
And you may even curse the longevity of life if you have too much regret.
I don't regret the things I've done.
In general, people regret the things that they don't do.
Regret is not for what you've done.
In general, regret is for what you haven't done.
All right, so let me get to your questions and comments.
All right.
Hi, Steph.
Dustine, thank you for your tip.
Hi, Steph.
Your tweet about men not dating in their early to mid-20s signaling to women that they lack courage, motivation, and self-worth.
Does the same idea apply to women?
If a girl hasn't dated or asked a man out yet in her late teens to early 20s, is that a red flag?
I'm not sure why you would change the ages there.
I say early to mid-20s, you change it to late teens to early 20s.
I'm not sure why.
I'm not sure why.
But yeah, I mean, if I, I mean, every now and then in my many story dating life in my 20s and well, teens, 20s, early 30s, every now and then you'd, I, I would meet a girl who's like, yeah, I've never dated.
And if she was like 25, I'd be like, good luck with all that.
Right.
I wouldn't date her.
I don't, I never dated a woman with tattoos or facial piercings.
I never dated a woman in substantial debt.
I never dated a woman who didn't read books, particularly fiction.
I never dated an overweight woman.
I know.
Oh, they don't exist anymore.
Shut up.
Of course they do.
But yeah, I wouldn't date a woman who was 24 or 25 or whatever, who'd never been on a date.
Because there's almost always a really sad and terrible tale behind that.
People are so in love with being victims.
I literally said men are more attractive if they stand up straight and look people in the eye.
The amount of replies I got saying that was far too hard was incredible.
When you're a child, you're as weak as you're told.
When you're an adult, you're as weak as you let yourself be.
There's your quote.
A girlfriend I had broke up with me about two weeks ago.
Instead of whimpering away, I see it as a challenge to continue to better myself and find a good woman I can marry.
Yeah, the only failure is a failure to learn.
So they are socially risk adverse then.
How can they come to accept the risk?
You just have to do it.
So one of the things that people do is they say, well, I'm scared and nervous to do this, but I'm going to do X, Y, or Z as a magic ritual to make it less scary.
When it's less scary, I'll do it.
The only way to make it less scary is to do it.
The only way to make it less scary is to do it.
Don't, Joe says, don't marry a woaxer.
Avoid nose piercings and piercings in strange locations.
No tattoos and you should be fine.
No pink or non-natural hair colors.
USCN says, thank you for the tip.
The point you've made repeatedly, Steph, that a man must address the value he gets from women in relationships to have motivation is really important.
I think many young people treat relationships as merely a signifier of status.
Well, if I said something that you find wise, I'm behind it 100%.
The average lifespan of a traffic cop in Beijing is 40 years.
Does that stat apply globally?
Beware of statistics.
Yeah.
There was no way I could have known.
They just had depression, anxiety, bipolar schizophrenia, and they were a murderer.
But apart from that, there were no signs.
None.
None.
A 20-something guy probably does not find the 40 to 50s female attractive now after 35 to 40 tastes change.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, I mean, there was a whole psyop when I was younger about how much older women just loved sex.
Just, you know, they get that itch and the cougar.
And it was like, it's just a psyop.
It's all nonsense.
All right.
Great to see you back on XDef.
What are some good financial side hustles?
I don't think you want to take advice from me on making money after what I did to my career.
I think I will hold my peace regarding that.
Small families, lack of older siblings to explain to the younger ones.
She wants you to make a move.
If I say, a sister, hey, bro, try this to make a move.
She wants you.
Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
Oh, I changed it because I'm in my teens.
My bad.
Okay, no, that's fine.
Look, if a girl is 18 and has never been on a date, it's a mild caution, but she could just be selective, right?
Hi, Steph.
Why would a woman break the rules of hypergamy?
If you have a Wiener Schnitzel that stretches to Prague.
Hi, Steph, why would a woman break the rules of hypergamy?
My brother is a minimum wage, unskilled worker, and next year he's going to marry his high-pay, white-collar manager girlfriend.
This is suspicious, and I'm skeptical about this marriage due to his inability to provide.
I hate to say this about your brother, but maybe he's great and bad.
That goes a long way.
Hypergamy isn't entirely a financial issue.
My wife is a doctor, and I earn way less, says Troy.
Your brother may have something more than money.
Could be a great conversation.
Maybe he really makes her laugh.
Maybe he de-stresses her.
Women will put up with a lot in order to be de-stressed because, you know, women can be a little tightly wound from time to time.
It's like a great line from Faulty Towers.
Oh, you'll have to excuse him.
He's very high-strung.
Yes.
Yes, he should be.
But yeah, women will do a lot for a man who helps them relax.
Because women get...
Yeah.
Let me get to your.
Oh, God.
Why did I lose?
I had it somewhere.
I really did.
I really did.
Okay, let me just do it this way.
Let me do it this way.
Loading.
There we go.
All right.
By the numbers, says somebody on X. I shouldn't have never gotten married.
I had kids, but it happened five kids and 20 years ago.
Yeah, so there's this other funny thing in life, which is I'll do it, not just when I'm not scared.
I'll do it when the time is right.
I'll do it when the time is right.
I'll do it when I'm ready.
Yeah.
That's a long, a long way to spell procrastination.
When the opportunity arises, just freaking do it.
You know, when I was, an opportunity arose for me in the business world in my 20s.
I was working as a programmer at a very major financial and stock trading institution.
And the opportunity arose to be entrepreneurial.
Was it the right time?
I don't know.
I got my first real professional gig after leaving university.
Was it the right time?
I don't know.
But those opportunities don't come along very often.
Like the girl you really like, she may never come back.
The girl you really like, she may never come back.
I mean, I remember my wife and I met playing volleyball.
And the volleyball team, we didn't really know each other.
We were just all thrown together.
I was there with one or two friends of mine.
And so we thought, well, let's get together.
And so we said, well, next week, we're all going to go across the street to a restaurant.
We can sit down and get to know each other and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, yeah, sounds good.
And anyway, the next week came and only my wife and I went.
Everyone else, oh God, I forgot I'm busy.
Right.
So only and we were like, oh, it's kind of a drag.
But she always seemed like a lot of fun and sort of very positive.
And we went and just, we were there for like hours, just talking.
The whole conversation was electric.
I've never done this before, but I realized later, you know, the little bill fold that it comes in with the restaurant name on it.
I kept it.
I kept it.
I just went home with it, which made no sense other than I wanted to take something home that night.
And we basically spent every day together since.
And 24 years ago, something like that, we got engaged within a couple of months, got married within 11 months of meeting.
I'm not, and I knew, I mean, I remember being on a hike with her, watching her climb a hill.
We'd had a great conversation.
And I was like, yeah, I can't do better than this.
There's no, I can't do better.
There's no upgrade from here.
And I've never felt that there has been an upgrade from here.
What I'm going to say, well, you know, she's a little short.
And if I have a son, I don't want him to be short or whatever, whatever, whatever, right?
I'll wait for the perfect person, whatever that is, right?
Whatever that is.
The idea that I would have the arrogance to know what's perfect for me for the rest of my life, I just go on principles, right?
And I remember that.
I'm not going to do better than her.
She's the top.
She's the crowning glory.
And if you get that feeling with someone, and just because she's perfect for me, it doesn't mean that she's perfect.
I think she is in general, but it's like that old Grace Jones song, I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for you.
And when you hit that person, you got that click with, strike now, close the deal because the hour is getting late.
And you don't get a whole bunch of turns at bat, my friends.
It wasn't like, well, I've got 12 offers to become an entrepreneur.
I guess I'll just pick and choose and later and this and that and the other.
Nope.
It's now or never.
Come hold me tight.
It's now or never.
If it's the right thing and the right time, if you've got that opportunity, you've got that.
The planets are aligned.
Things are possible.
Just do it.
Just do it.
And it doesn't matter if you fail.
So when I was in, I originally went to the Glendon campus of York University, and I went, because I love to write and read, and I went to do an English degree.
And through the English degree, I started acting.
And I was always cast as the lead, and there was never any auditions for anyone else, because I was pretty good at it.
Anyway, so then I decided to go to the, I thought somebody said, oh, you should look into the National Theater School.
So I went to the National Theater School.
I mean, they take 16 out of 1,600 applicants, a 1% acceptance rate.
And I got in as a writer and as an actor.
I did the first year as an actor, then I moved to writer.
And first year was pretty good.
I just hated it after that.
It was really, once they found out about, you know, I'm a free market guy and all of that, I mean, they just hated me.
And I hated them.
And I just, it was a horrible experience for the end there.
And I left before the end of the second year and went and finished my undergraduate at McGill in history because I really didn't want to do any more English literature because you can just make, it's all sophistry.
You just make up whatever you want.
At least with history, this, I was optimistic at the time to think, hey, there are some facts in history.
I mean, there are some numerical Facts, but that's about it.
So the theater school thing crashed out.
You know, it was a mutual contempt and hatred.
And I never really did any acting.
I mean, I've done some in my reading my novels as audiobooks, but I have no regrets about going because the last thing I'd want to do is sit there and say, oh my God, I should have gone.
And if I hadn't gone, I could have got an Oscar by now.
I could be the next Marlon Brando.
I went.
I found that the acting world is repulsive as a whole.
And I had some pretty broad exposure to it.
Or what Marlon Brando said.
Acting is an empty and useless profession.
And the other thing, too, which I think is reasonable to say, whether you agree with all of my words, they're pretty original.
And I think it's fairly safe to say that I have too many of my own words to spend my life reciting other people's language.
So.
You needed to hear this.
Oh, I'm glad to.
I'm glad to hear that.
Fear.
I was very scared of riding a bike with no training wheels as a kid.
Fear of falling.
Sure.
I got over the fear.
Loved biking.
And yes, I fell.
Hard a few times.
Still rode my bike.
Yeah.
Been in a few serious car crashes, a few my fault.
Learned to be more careful and patient.
Love driving.
Don't need to drive like a lunatic either.
Good.
Good.
If the only thing that somebody says, if the only thing that makes you skeptical of the relationship is a perceived imbalance of value in the relationship, maybe there are some elements that you are not considering.
Have you brought this up with your brother?
Oh, this is with regards to the...
Sorry.
You're not even talking to me.
How rude.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm glad you guys are talking to each other.
Goody, goody, good.
All right.
Any other questions, comments, issues?
I did a couple hours today on a live stream.
I did an hour or two of responding to people on X. So I don't believe if we, I don't mind if we don't have a super long show tonight, but I'm certainly happy to take questions and comments.
I will try to do a stream tomorrow.
I love you tomorrow.
I've got music in my head all night tonight.
I love you tomorrow.
All right.
After I belted out my gast en song.
Can you check above?
Yeah, the fun.
Let me just go back here.
So I'm going to pop out the chat on X. Pump up the chat.
And let's see.
Reload.
Loading.
Does it...
One from Snowmaiden, one from Panzer Witch.
It's quite vivid.
And one from Jacob Smith.
Jacob Smith, where's your edgy username?
But yeah, if you can pop it back in, I'm happy to answer.
But I don't know why X. Maybe I need to bring something down here that's like a tablet or something because on Windows, the chat is just not working with X. Repost.
Repost at the stream.
Oh, okay.
You can do that.
That's cool.
Just as we may be ending.
Steph, your presence is extremely appreciated.
I find it very motivating and inspirational.
Right.
Sorry, right.
I mean, thank you.
I appreciate that.
You know, there's a bit of tough love involved in coaching.
And, you know, unfortunately, particularly young men have been shielded from the, it's possible that you suck at something, but can get better, right?
You suck is, you don't say that to someone who's blind.
You suck at catching balls.
You have sympathy because he's blind, right?
So you suck is you should do better.
And there is a certain amount of tough love that is involved in coaching boys.
But when you, well, coaching and coaching these sort of young men or trying to coach the young men on X, they respond as if I'm bullying them.
In other words, they have a female response to male authority.
They have a female response to male coaching.
They have a female response to a male elder.
And I sympathize with that.
I really do.
I'm not saying they're female I'm just saying that that It's upsetting.
You don't understand.
And then sort of this lashing out.
You're just an out-of-touch boomer.
It's not 2015.
Like all of that stuff is not like, okay, tell me more about what I could do better or tell me more about how you learned.
You know, not saying that I'm right.
I'm just saying that when you tell people they can achieve something and they shouldn't give up and they get really angry and manipulative and they insult you and they gaslight you and that they hurt and all of that.
I mean, that's just, it's the price you pay for the sort of hyper-feminized way that we're raising boys these days.
And I was raised the same way, I guess with the exception that I hated it at the time, of course, but boarding school was at least a somewhat masculine environment that helped out a little bit that way, I suppose.
But when people have given up hope and then you tell them there's still hope, they tend to get angry.
And I understand that because it's like, why are you awakening hope in me when I've given up?
Because if you awaken hope in me, I'm going to go through a lot of pain.
Right.
And the only analogy that I can give is that if your wife is dying and five charlatans have ripped you off by promising a cure, which never materializes, and someone else comes along and says, no, no, no, I can cure your wife.
You're going to get angry because the awakening of hope is painful and you're concerned about being exploited.
But I'm not telling these people on X or elsewhere, you can do it.
And all you have to do is buy my $14.99 infomercial book of Enos in order to learn how, right?
I mean, I'm not selling anything, right?
So there's no cynicism in that.
But what I am do is I am reawakening hope or trying to.
And the reawakening of hope comes with extreme pain because you have to deal with all the people who ground and crush the hope out of you.
and then you have to try and get the muscles back that hope caused, or lack of hope caused to atrophy.
So, I do understand why people are mad at me.
They're saying, Steph, your hope is foolish, your hope is out of touch, your hope is unwise, the world has changed, it's unrecoverable, we're doomed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.
I don't.
I mean, if I believe that, why would I have kids, right?
So I understand that telling people they have hope is really annoying to people.
It's really annoying to people, which is why I get it.
I understand it.
I sympathize with it.
I really do.
I really do.
But I'm still going to do it.
But I'm still going to do it.
Because hope is the important thing.
Look, it's these men in particular, right?
These young men have had precious little mentoring.
They've been ground down by feminist teachers and the media their whole lives.
They probably come from single-mother households or something similar to, or at least very weak father households.
And see, now that's another example of a feminine response.
Why this fixation on male coaching?
Saying that it's a really weird fixation to want to help your fellow man achieve that which has given you the greatest joy in life, which is love and family.
See, that's a female response.
To impugn motives rather than to address arguments.
It's not what you said, it's how you said it, right?
What's with this fixation?
Why are you so obsessed?
You know, plays, right?
I mean, it's a feminine and not even good feminine.
some great feminine responses, but it's...
And this is why I just have to...
Maybe I want to be coached, but you know nothing about women.
That's a problem.
See, again, that is the lash out, the gouge, the jab.
It's passive-aggressive.
It's, I mean, I've raised an entire whole female as a stay-at-home dad, but I know nothing.
I've talked to and given feedback on hundreds of women over the course in public.
It's not even private, right?
It's public shows for the most part.
But I just know nothing.
Nothing.
See, that is...
I am actively aggressive.
I sink my boots in your flaccid arse.
Well, that's an odd specimen.
What an odd specimen.
All right.
So I will not engage anymore with that.
Somebody says, I remember you did a really good presentation on R and K selection theory a long time ago.
Is there anywhere I can re-watch that?
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
You can go to FDRpodcasts.com.
I think the title was Gene Wars, G-E-N-E, Wars.
And you do a search for it, and you click on the show.
At the bottom is a link to all the places where it's available on video.
All right.
I thought you didn't want people to have hope because it makes them lazy and wait for someone else to do what is necessary.
Oh, my God.
Don't have hope.
Only have hope, but don't act.
It's a bit of a false dichotomy.
You're smart enough to figure that out.
Enjoyed chapter 10 of the new book, Jeff.
Thanks for sharing.
Ooh.
Didn't like the listeners too much for that.
Didn't like the listeners too much for that.
You know, I don't ask for much.
I mean, donations, yes, but I just, I asked for some feedback and I got like four people.
Anyway.
Heavenly Father's plan of happiness is to have men and women marry and have children, to seal parents and children together forever.
Well, of course.
Oh, there's also a playlist for the Gene Wars presentation.
And didn't we put them all together and remaster them?
I think I remember doing that at something.
But you can go to FDRpodcasts.com slash feed slash RVK.
Boy, that's user-friendly.
FDRpodcasts slash feed slash RVK.
I appreciate that.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I think, thank you.
I missed listening to your Truth About series.
Well, I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Sorry, Jacob.
I did ask you to repost the question.
I'm not sure if you did.
Let me just have a quick look here.
If I missed it, my apologies.
Can you check above I asked a question?
Pants Morrigan Kerry.
Yeah, so maybe I didn't.
Let me just put this in here.
I don't know why.
Need Ku again.
I'm tight past my microphone stand.
I'm normally not that bad.
I think I put all the Gene War stuff together.
I call four presentations, remastered them and all of that.
if we haven't we will because that remastering stuff is very very cool yeah Yes, I'm not going to talk about his teenage life.
I understand the curiosity, but obviously that's not my story to tell.
All right.
Let me see here.
Any other last?
I don't know if Jacob's going to get it to me again.
Are you going to get to me again?
I don't think so.
All right.
So let me just check one last place for questions.
I can relate to rejecting male coaching in the past.
My father was quite passive and not assertive, not a good leader.
Yes.
There is...
Gene Wars.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, my question is regarding men having multiple wives.
The justification is the bell curve, which puts more men out of the dating market due to IQ and other issues.
I mean, one-on-one monogamy is, in general, best for children.
And the problem, of course, is Thanks.
Sorry, I mean to sound annoyed.
Yes, she is doing very well.
Thank you.
So the problem, of course, is that if you exclude a large number of men from the dating market, then you get people with no investment in the future, current status or future survivability of society as a whole.
So I think it's not.
I mean, in a free society, I doubt it would go out that way.
All right.
Well, thanks everyone so much for your time, care, and attention.
If you're listening to this later, freedomain.com slash donate.
Freedomain.com slash donate.
I would really appreciate your support for the show.
And please don't forget fdrurl.com slash locals to get a free one-month subscription to a great philosophical community, which is available on the locals platform.
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You get 22-part history of philosopher series, hundreds of premium podcasts, all absolutely fantastic stuff.
I will consider debating Grok4.
Should I do it live?
Hit me with a why.
If I should debate Grok 4 about me and my thoughts, my reputation, my ideas, should I debate with Grok 4 live?
That would be edgy.
That would be exciting, right?
I think so.
I think, yes, people saying yes.
Okay, I think I will set that up.
When's Grok 4 coming out?
I don't even know.
I don't need to ask you.
Sorry, that was lazy.
Like, I can't just look that up.
So, all right.
Thanks, everyone, so much.
A beautiful, beautiful evening of conversation and questions.
I really do appreciate that.
If you could share the website, freedomain.com, I would really appreciate that too.
And have yourself a blorious, a beautiful and glorious.
It's now called Blorious.
A beautiful evening.
I will talk to you Friday night.
And yeah, I'll do it this week.
To bake Grok 4 live at a stadium.
I would do that.
I would absolutely do that.
All right.
Thanks, everyone.
Lots of love from up here.
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