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May 27, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
06:33
The Inattentiveness of Parents
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Okay, so I was at a coffee shop, and there were two women with two kids, and the women were chatting away and having their wee little coven convention.
And the kids, one of them was maybe 18 months, was just sort of crawling and walking around, maybe 20 months, and the other was more of a baby, maybe 12 months.
So I assumed that it was each, it was a child of each one of the moms.
And, you know, you ever have this thing where you're watching a movie and there's people driving and they keep looking away from the road, you know, like they're talking about some big plot or, you know, something that's going on in the movie.
And rather than looking ahead and driving, they look to, and I hate that because you just know, you just know that I go out walking after midnight, that the Patsy Cline, you know, Side smash is coming out of nowhere.
Like anytime somebody crosses a street, these days a bus is going to send them into orbit.
And so if you're watching a movie and they just keep looking at the passenger rather than ahead of the road, you just know bad things are going to happen, right?
So when parents have toddlers around and they're not watching them, they're chatting away and having their carrot cake, I get tense because it's countdown.
It's countdown.
To catastrophe.
And, you know, the little boy was kind of hanging off the edge of a table, and you're just waiting for that thing to come over and crash down on him, and, you know, the little baby was sort of rolling, or the toddler baby was rolling around on the couch, just waiting for him to fall off.
And I was working on my new novel.
I'm trying to write a sociopath.
It's tricky.
I mean, it's very much not part of my personality.
Although I think I've known a few.
I think I've known a few.
But I'm trying to get that nature.
It's a very foreign mindset for me, but I'm really working to explore it as a whole.
So I'm working on a very challenging chapter with a sociopath.
So I bet part of me is like looking over like, it's not gonna end well.
And I should have said something, Anyway, so eventually there's this huge scream and I look over it and what's happened is the boy has somehow levered a heavy painting off the wall and it fell on his fingers.
And one of the moms said, well, it's not lunch until someone ends up crying.
And the kid was pretty hysterical.
I think it slammed down.
I still remember being a very little kid and closing.
The door was closed.
I had my fingers in the inside of the door closed.
I still remember that sound.
Squish, crunch.
I didn't break anything, but it was pretty nasty.
And it's just...
It's terrible to me.
This inattentiveness and this...
First of all, there's nothing for them to do at a coffee shop.
What are they going to do?
It's completely boring.
What are they going to do at a coffee shop?
It's really sad.
and they're just going to fuss and fudge it and fidget around until something bad happens.
And then the mother, the boy who's, the painting landed on the fingers.
And the mother was holding the child and patting the child's back and then the phone rang and she took the call.
It's like your kid just got his fingers crunched.
He's crying like crazy.
He's kind of hysterical.
And you take a call?
I don't know.
I don't mean to be overly crabby.
I don't mean to be overly crabby because I do see some good parenting for sure.
And these weren't terrible parents.
To me, just inattentive.
And that inattentiveness is really tough.
Did you ever have that?
Let me ask you guys.
Did you ever have that as a kid?
Where you're just stuck and bored while adults are doing adulty things and you're not free to leave?
To me, it's like, you know, go meet in a park.
Let the kids roam around a little or whatever it is, right?
Not in a coffee shop where there's nothing for them to do other than fidget until disaster strikes.
Because they can't protect themselves at that age, right?
I remember...
Women do like to shop as a whole.
I mean, it's not like there's much for men at malls, right?
Women love to shop.
And retail therapy, do they call it?
And apparently, there's just nothing, like if you want in a movie or a TV show, if you want to show a high-status woman, it's pretty predictable, right?
What do you do?
Well, she comes home.
She's got the cinched waist flared, little black dress on, flared waist, little black dress on.
She's got some great heels on.
She's got oversized sunglasses, a big floppy hat.
And she's carrying bags from boutiques.
You know, this is how, apparently this is like the greatest thing on earth for women, is to buy a bunch of useless, nothing but icing, not even any cake, adornment crap.
And that's just the most amazing thing, and that apparently is the greatest thing.
It's like that scene in the movie Pretty Woman, where Julia Roberts is not getting much attention from the sales clerks, and then she comes back later.
Look at all the money I spent elsewhere.
Big mistake.
You work on commission, right?
Big mistake.
And it's like, ugh!
Right?
That I don't understand.
I mean, when it comes to shopping, God help me.
I mean, it's one of the great things about being married, which I'll talk about a little bit in a sec, but my wife will make sure that I am kept in the clothing that I, well, need and deserve.
And I will, you know, it's funny because, and this is maybe just getting older.
I don't even particularly like shopping for electronics anymore.
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