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May 13, 2025 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:32:44

Why Do I Keep Getting BULLIED? Freedomain Call In

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	Yes, yes, good morning everybody, hope you're doing well.
	I had a little bit of time this morning.
	I'm heading out this afternoon, but I wanted to check in with everyone, see how you're doing, see what's on your mind, see if there's anything in any way in which philosophy can make your day just a tiny, tiny little bit more joyful, or massive cascades of intergalactic tsunami-style joy, whatever it is, working for you, so I'm all ears if you have Of course, you know, questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems.
	You can raise your hand.
	You can lift your hand leg.
	You can mark your territory.
	And I am, well, a little J.F. Gary Eppie there a little bit.
	Eh?
	It's Quebec guy.
	So, yeah, if you have questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems, criticisms, whatever is on your mind, if there's any way that philosophy can help you, whatever is going through your noggin, as things generally go through mine.
	I am all ears.
	And, uh, ooh.
	Can we, in fact, hear?
	Uh, can says here, I can see you on...
	Ah, you can hear, can hear.
	Testing one, two, three.
	Yes, okay.
	Uh, what is Bitcoin doing?
	I talked about that in the show last night, so I won't sort of repeat it here.
	There has, of course, been a big hack out of a state-funded North Korean hacker group, On Ethereum, they got a massive chunk of Ethereum, I think about $1.4 billion worth.
	And it's funny because they just hang on to this stuff.
	Like, they don't spend it, they don't trade it, they just kind of hang on to this stuff.
	So, that's interesting, and of course, who really knows what's going on there, but yeah, it's pretty nasty.
	It's pretty nasty.
	But who knows?
	I mean, this multi-factor authentication is a whole chain of command for which to release funds.
	So whether they target people individually, whether there's malware, whether they study social media patterns to figure out who has signing authority is, I'm sure, fairly unknown at the moment, or at least it was the last time I checked.
	So who knows what's going on with that stuff.
	But it is, of course, a...
	Particular catastrophe and just gooses people as a whole.
	And, you know, from an amoral standpoint, you know, the hacking has significant economic value.
	Because the hacking stuff will be resolved over time.
	And, of course, the strength of crypto is you can transfer as much as you want fairly anonymously and with very little overhead and it can be pretty untraceable.
	So, you know, that's real value.
	But that also means stuff can be stolen from, right?
	I mean, of course, people go through, you know, there's this sort of robber thing where you get grabbed on the street and then people make you go to the bank machine and give your pin and you're limited to, you know, what, five, six hundred bucks or whatever.
	You're limited in that kind of way.
	So, there's this pendulum that swings back and forth, of course, between Fiat and crypto.
	And what happens is people look at crypto and they say, oh my gosh, that stuff can be stolen, right?
	And then you look at, I was talking about this in the show last night, somebody compared their Walmart bill from like five years ago with the same items and it was a 138% increase in the price, right?
	Which means massive decrease in the value of your money.
	So, with regards to crypto, there are these sort of big, spectacular thefts, so to speak.
	Oh my god, the visible, right?
	The seen versus the unseen.
	So, with crypto, 1.4 billion, I think it was, was stolen.
	And that's big and spectacular.
	However, you know, I won't say it's a drop in the bucket of USAID, but it...
	It ain't exactly the whole budget of USAID.
	So there's all of this, you know, theft that goes on in the crypto world that's big and splashy and exciting and concentrated and creepy and weird and people get goosed and, of course, I mean, I understand all of that.
	That makes sense.
	But it's the old thing compared to what?
	The theft in crypto, people will adapt to guard against it.
	And it's not institutional.
	But fiat is theft.
	Money printing at a whim, and you don't even need to print it anymore, like the printer goes brrr, it's like the keyboard goes clickety-clackety, and, you know, trillions of dollars get stolen.
	So there's this big spectacular theft of Ethereum, and people are like, ooh, that's scary, and then they don't notice, of course, that the Mice of fiat are borrowing through their savings and eating everything under the cover of night.
	So those who understand that are differentiated from those who don't, right?
	So people say, oh, the crypto is really scary.
	It's risky.
	It's dangerous.
	It's like, yeah, I get that.
	I get that.
	But it's not institutional.
	And there are ways to guard against it, right?
	You do your cold storage, your...
	Hardware, wallets, like whatever it is that you're doing, right?
	And so you can guard against your crypto being taken, but you can't guard against money printing.
	I mean, you can try and do various strategies to prevent, maintain, control, work against it and so on, but you're pretty limited.
	You're pretty limited in what you can do.
	All you can do is try and hedge against it, but you can't prevent it.
	You can't prevent it.
	So, the big splashy thefts are what goose people, the incremental money printing and the prices going up and the value of your dollars going down and the unfunded liabilities and the debt and all of the infinitely larger predations.
	Of fiat currency, that's not seen.
	Nearly as much.
	So, it is the old question, oh, fiat is risky.
	Compared to what?
	Most people would prefer a risk that can be managed to a risk that cannot be managed.
	And fiat currency is an unmanageable risk.
	You cannot manage it.
	You cannot control it.
	They will just print and borrow and take as they see.
	Fit.
	And really, what can you do about it?
	What can you do about it?
	Not much, maybe, except by crypto.
	So, that's one thing that I thought of with regards to that.
	And I'll just wait, see if there are any other sort of pings and questions while we're waiting for that.
	I will run through the stuff.
	That I have noticed or noted recently.
	So, 73% of US mortgage borrowers have an interest rate under 5%, which is really something.
	And it would be interesting to see, of course, as it depends what the length of those things are, right?
	The 3-year, 5-year, 10-year, whatever, or more.
	So, it'd be interesting to see What happens from there when these mortgages get rolled and what happens to the housing as a whole?
	So, of course, if the deportations and self-deportations or at least lack of importations, so to speak, like border cross in the US South at least are down a lot, if that drops the value of people's houses, Then the issue of being underwater, which was the big issue in 2007-2008, when the value of your house was much less than the price you were paying for it on a continual basis, that is going to be very tough.
	So, a guy named Pix will talk about Lazarus, right?
	This is his tweet about this.
	They stole $1.46 billion from Bybit, and they didn't break the code, they broke the people.
	So he says, Lazarus is a state-backed North Korean hacking group.
	They've stolen billions from banks, crypto exchanges, and DeFi protocols.
	The biggest crypto heist in history.
	Is that right?
	Is that right?
	I guess so, right?
	There was no code exploit, no leaked private keys.
	Bybit's own multi-sig signers approved the transactions.
	They thought they were signing a routine transfer.
	Instead, they were handing over their entire cold wallet.
	Raises a question, of course.
	How did Lazarus know exactly who to target?
	A multi-sig wallet, of course, requires multiple signers.
	Even if no one refused to sign, the hack would fail.
	Even if one person refused to sign, sorry, the hack would fail, but they all signed.
	So they didn't just hack by a bit, they knew who to manipulate.
	And so either it's an inside job, somebody leaked the signer list, social engineering, Lazarus studied their emails and behaviors, or device compromised, one or more signers was infected with malware.
	And of course, what this means for other exchanges, people will just have to figure this stuff out.
	So they stole 0.42% of all Ethereum.
	So, that's wild, man.
	Investigators quickly flagged the 53 wallets holding the stolen Ethereum.
	Any attempt to cash out or swap funds would immediately raise red flags, but Lazarus are in no hurry.
	In 2022, chain analysis found Lazarus still held $55 million from Hacks.
	Six years earlier.
	They don't cash out fast.
	They wait.
	And Bybit CEO Ben Zhu addressed the crisis publicly.
	Client funds, he said, are one-to-one backed.
	We have enough liquidity to cover withdrawals.
	All other wallets remain secure.
	Wild stuff, man.
	It is kind of true that...
	Every advance in human technology is exploited by bad actors.
	And it is just this tough, this tough.
	Of course, as I talk about my French Revolution presentation, which you can get, of course, at fdrurl.com slash locals.
	Sign up there.
	If we leave people with really bad childhoods behind and move on, they will get us.
	They will circle back and get us.
	Leave people behind at your peril.
	They will circle back and make Your future into the hell you left them in.
	Now, of course, I get that we can't exactly wander into North Korea and make everyone's childhoods better, but as a general principle, that is an issue.
	All right.
	Mr. Alex, you have a question.
	You are welcome to chat.
	And I just have to unmute.
	And I'm all ears.
	Hello, Stefan.
	How are you?
	I just have a quick...
	Oh, thank you.
	I'm sorry.
	First time that we're speaking with this channel, so I'm a little bit nervous.
	Thank you.
	I just have a quick question here.
	I was wondering, maybe if you believe if having a girl instead of a boy somehow maybe made you more, how can I say, more cautious and more prone to being?
	Play safe instead of taking more risk when it comes to your philosophy.
	Or I do remember you telling about coming to Australia and thinking that you were in danger and I don't know, maybe that could have some influence on you.
	Do you think that happened somehow?
	If you could tell me what you mean a little bit more by influence?
	I just want to make sure I'm answering the right question because for me it's a bit ambiguous.
	That's alright.
	I maybe not did the phrase that right.
	So, for instance, let's say Donald Trump and his kids and also Bolsonaro back in Brazil, they have young boys.
	So, with the male mentality, we are more prone to the war and to take more risks, right?
	So, maybe we can count more and be more brave.
	Even though we are not thinking about it, we do take more chances, right?
	So, I was wondering if Easy made a difference in your approach to life.
	And I mean that in a good way, because...
	When we are men and we don't have to take care of others and we don't have a family, we think in a different manner.
	So I was wondering if you had this thought in your mind that maybe if I had a boy I would think differently and let's say I would defend women a little bit less or something like that.
	I would defend women a little bit less.
	So, I'm just trying to make sure that I'm answering the question accurately.
	So, are you saying that...
	Oh, sorry, we're getting a big echo there.
	Sorry, we're getting a big echo there.
	Are you using a headset or a microphone?
	Oh, why not?
	My speaker...
	Sorry.
	Yeah, because that's a little distracting.
	So, if I understand this correctly, you're saying that...
	And I don't take this with any offense.
	I don't take this with any offense.
	I'm just trying to understand what you mean.
	Sorry, I'm just going to need to have to wait for that.
	It's all right.
	I'm just searching for my headphones.
	Sorry.
	So sorry.
	Yeah, that's generally if you're calling into a show, having a headset is a good idea.
	So if I understand this correctly, you're saying that two things might have occurred because I had a daughter rather than a son.
	The first is that...
	I acted less courageously.
	And the second is that I was more protective of women or defended women as a whole more.
	Is that your general thesis?
	And again, I just want to make sure I understand it.
	No, I'm sorry.
	I didn't like that.
	I'm sorry.
	I can barely hear you now.
	I'm sorry.
	I really can't hear you now.
	My headphones are very shitty.
	No, that's much better.
	Yeah, okay, go ahead.
	So, my question is, having a girl may have affected you in a good way, in a sense that...
	No, no, sorry, I don't care about the good or bad.
	I'm not saying it's good or bad.
	I just want to understand...
	I mean, if somebody were to ask me, do you think that having a daughter rather than a son has changed you?
	Well, yeah, I mean, of course.
	I mean, I think that would be almost by definition, right?
	So, you mentioned two ways in which I may have changed.
	One, that I may have been more cautious because I have a girl rather than a boy, which is a perfectly reasonable thesis.
	And the second is that I may be more prone to be sympathetic to or defend women more because I have a girl instead of a boy.
	And I just want to make sure that I understand your concept of how I might have changed as the father to a daughter rather than a son.
	Yes, exactly.
	Because I'll say I'm married and having a good woman besides me made me appreciate the woman way more than before that.
	So I was wondering if having easy...
	Well, if you're asking me how has a daughter changed my approach to philosophy as a whole, I honestly couldn't tell you that.
	That's too broad a topic, and I don't have a compared to what, because I only have a daughter and I don't have a son.
	So I don't have a compared to what.
	So we're going to have to narrow it down a little bit from how has that affected my approach to philosophy as a whole, which I...
	Can't really answer to specific things that you might have noticed about what I've done.
	And I think those two specific things you mentioned, and I think for the third or fourth time, I'm trying to understand if this is your argument.
	The two things that you mentioned was that, A, I might have been more cautious, and B, I might be more protective of women.
	Is that what you've noticed?
	No, no, I didn't notice that.
	I just wondered if you had this thought before, if you ever thought about that before, because I'm thinking about having a family.
	We discussed that earlier.
	Oh, sorry.
	Oh, this is your first live stream, not your first call.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's what I meant.
	Sorry.
	Yeah.
	So, because I had to change my life in many aspects, and I was wondering if you had the same thought, like, for instance, taking risks.
	You have to think about your family first and before you.
	And I was wondering if that can affect your philosophy or something, or if you ever thought about that.
	Okay, so are you saying, I'm more cautious because I have a daughter?
	Maybe, I don't know.
	I'm just wondering if that can affect you.
	Okay, so it's an interesting thing that you're doing here, because I think you want to talk about something, but you're asking me instead, which is why I think the question is so muddled.
	Is it your concern that if you have children, you will become more cautious, or is that your thought?
	Or do you think you'll be more cautious if you have, well, are you planning on having more than one child?
	Yes, I am.
	Okay, so, I mean, odds are you're going to end up.
	I'm very afraid of having a...
	I'm sorry?
	I'm sorry.
	I'm very afraid of having a girl at this time in age.
	You're afraid of having a girl?
	Yeah, definitely.
	Okay, so rather than asking me stuff, I think it's important to talk about your fears, to be direct.
	This is why I think the question was confused and confusing because you want to talk about something and you don't, for whatever reason, you don't want to call me up and say, Steph, I'm worried about having a girl.
	Let me tell you my thoughts.
	But instead, Steph, do you think that having a girl has made you more worried?
	That's a convoluted way to talk about what you want to talk about, if that makes sense?
	Yeah, it makes.
	But honestly, first things first, I would like to know if you, because I was curious about you.
	No, no, but you're not.
	You're not.
	Let's be frank.
	You're like the woman who's hungry, who then says to the husband, are you hungry?
	Rather than saying, I'm hungry.
	So, if you're worried about having kids and having a daughter, I'm happy to talk about that.
	But I don't think you're curious about me in particular.
	Because, first of all, if you have a daughter or you have a son, they're equally vulnerable until they're adults.
	Right?
	I mean, it's not like, let's say, that somebody wants to harm your kid.
	It's not like an eight-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl are massively different in terms of their vulnerability.
	I mean, they're both still kids, right?
	And boys and girls, at least until they get to about puberty, are, you know, give or take sort of the same size and so on, right?
	So, as far as vulnerability goes, boys and girls are equally vulnerable to harm as children.
	And then you could sort of say, I don't know, maybe the age of 14, 15, 16, and so on.
	But then boys and girls have different strengths in terms of vulnerability.
	So let's talk about an 18-year-old boy and an 18-year-old girl.
	Well, an 18-year-old boy is less physically vulnerable because they're taller and stronger and so on.
	However, they get much less social support.
	I'm sure you've seen these videos where a woman is being pushed around by a man and Everybody and their dog jumps in to save the woman, right?
	To step back and hold back the man.
	Whereas if a man is being pushed around by a woman, people just kind of laugh and walk on.
	So, of course, society has compensated for women's lack of physical strength and height by being much more supportive and acting proactively to protect women, right?
	If you're in a bar and some woman comes up to you and says, that guy just grabbed my ass, you'd probably be a little outraged and you might even want to go talk to that guy.
	I mean, I wouldn't recommend it, but you might have that impulse.
	Whereas if a guy comes up to you and says, that woman just grabbed my ass, you're probably just going to laugh.
	So, in terms of safety, in many ways, men and women have complementary strengths and weaknesses.
	Women are physically less strong, so we have evolved to shore up or supplant their lack of physical strength with our emotional investment in the protection of women.
	So I'm not entirely convinced or positive that boys are safer in the world.
	And of course, if you look at boys and girls in terms of friendships, It took me a while to sort of understand this when I was younger, but boys, you might end up in a fistfight, but boys will not try to destroy your life, right?
	They might try and bop you on the nose, but they're not going to spread rumors that you have a sexually transmitted disease, right?
	So male combat tends to be upfront, kind of in your face.
	And it starts and it stops.
	It comes and it goes.
	Whereas female combat tends to be reputation-based, almost infinitely more destructive in many ways, and just goes on and on.
	So, I'm not positive even when it comes to sort of physical danger or emotional danger or these sorts of things.
	I'm not entirely sure that either boys or girls are in more or less danger.
	From social conflict, if that makes sense.
	So if you have a male boss, a male boss on a male employee, if the male employee does something the male boss really doesn't like or is bad or whatever, then the male boss might yell at them and say, you idiot, why did you do that?
	That cost me a lot of money or something like that, right?
	Whereas the female boss won't necessarily confront you, but will...
	Just give you less and less hours on your schedule or, you know, try and turn your co-workers against you so that you might quit or something like that.
	So males, it tends to be direct conflict.
	With females, it tends to be more subtle, social, subterranean sabotage.
	So deplatforming is kind of female, whereas calling somebody an a-hole on the internet is more male.
	And of course, the deplatforming is much more destructive to society.
	As a whole, because men hurling insults at each other is free speech.
	De-platforming is really the opposite.
	So both boys and girls face unique strengths and weaknesses in the social environment, but they tend to balance out, as you would kind of expect in society.
	So it's not like, well, the boys are safe and the girls are in danger.
	It really depends which lens you're looking at, if that makes sense.
	What I was thinking was...
	Imagine that a boy is like 18 or 19. He's an adult already.
	And then he suddenly wins the lottery.
	I'm sorry.
	Something's not wrong with the audio.
	If you can slow down a little bit.
	Who wins the lottery?
	As an example, the boy is 19 years old and he suddenly wins the lottery by Bitcoin.
	Yeah, or buy Bitcoin and smash a good amount of money.
	So he's now a millionaire, but he's still quite young.
	But now he has access to win.
	He can travel, buy cars, and he's very, very on top of the game.
	But he's also very immature.
	So he can do silly mistakes like running a car, like speeding.
	Or using drugs or whatever.
	So that's a boy that had to win the lottery first.
	But sorry, hang on, hang on.
	Are we talking about people in general or our own children?
	Our own children.
	Okay, but your own child.
	Let's say your own child wins the lottery and he's 18. So what's he going to do?
	He's going to come to you and he's going to say, Mom, Dad, I won the lottery.
	You guys are smart and wise.
	Help me figure this out.
	Yeah.
	So I'm not sure how the 18-year-old that is your child or my child is going to just go off the rails and go do drugs and drive cars.
	No, no.
	Just wait a second.
	Yeah.
	I'll get to that.
	So this is just an example, right?
	No, no.
	You're not addressing my issue.
	So you have an 18-year-old son.
	He wins the lottery.
	He's going to talk to you, and he's going to respect your wisdom, and he's going to listen to your advice.
	Yeah.
	But what I mean is in general?
	No, no, no, no.
	Stop it.
	Stop it.
	It's not in general.
	There is no in general.
	We're talking about your child and my child.
	That's what you said.
	So you can't then just say, here's an 18-year-old who wins the lottery, who's my son, and he just goes off the rails.
	Because that's not going to happen.
	Now, if you want to talk about kids as a whole, okay, that's a different matter, but then we're not talking about our parenting.
	Do you see the issue I have?
	Could I just switch that for kids as a whole?
	Because if the girl or the boy in question has personal parented, so he has no issues with that.
	So he can be trusted.
	And these problems will not happen, as you just told us.
	My question is based on the fact that in order to the boy to be tempted by the world, he has, like, basically to win the lottery.
	And the girl, as a following example, she just has to be young.
	And everyone will try to corrupt her.
	Her friends, the culture, everything in between.
	Well, no, no, no, no.
	Hopefully not her friends, because the parents are...
	In charge of the social life, so you'd have quality kids around your kid.
	But anyway, the culture for sure.
	Yeah, so there's going to be a bunch of corrupting elements in the culture.
	Okay, go ahead.
	Yeah, that's why I'm afraid, like, in general.
	Like, even if what I'm afraid of is even though if I'm trying to do my best here, I cannot be 24-7 with my daughter.
	And there is too many tempting elements and trying to...
	Do some evil.
	So I know that even if I do my best, and actually, let me just change that.
	I know that doing my best, I can protect her, but I have to trust her.
	But at the same time, there's too many temptations to a girl that's barely, it didn't reach maturity yet.
	Okay, so give me an example of a temptation that your daughter Might be prone to.
	Yeah, like, for instance, people would, like, try to get her to have sex with.
	They would try to tempt her.
	Their friends, because they are already, let's say, not my daughter, but in the school, they already have, like, a sexual life because girls are prone to follow other girls, right?
	They are more following than the boys.
	They are not as rebellious.
	They will try to match the craze around the schools.
	And yeah, in my country, for instance, Brazil, this thing happens very fast.
	And it's scary.
	It is scary.
	Well, I don't know what the laws are in Brazil.
	Can you homeschool in Brazil?
	Basically not.
	There is a law that's been pushed to allow us to do that, but it's kind of hard right now.
	There is a gray area, but they are trying to prevent the homeschooling back in Brazil.
	Okay, can you send your child to a school?
	Whose philosophy and whose teachers match your values, at least reasonably closely?
	So, so.
	So, when I was a kid back in Brazil, I was going to a Catholic school, and I was 12 years old, having sex on that age already.
	So that was kind of crazy.
	Yeah, so I know that's not everywhere, but...
	Well, you wouldn't send your...
	Into a school where there are 12-year-olds having sex.
	Yes, exactly.
	But that was 20 years ago, Stefan.
	And that was shocking for everyone.
	And today, I don't think it is shocking anymore.
	And that's when it comes to my concern.
	Because I think society is quite crazy.
	And some countries are crazier than others.
	And I don't think people get it.
	Now that I moved countries and I can feel a little bit better, I can see how corrupt...
	Oh, you moved to Brazil?
	Oh, from...
	You moved from Brazil?
	Yeah, I'm not...
	Yeah, I'm...
	Temporarily, I still...
	Don't have my citizenship yet, but...
	Okay, so, sorry, in the country you live in, you can't homeschool, is that right?
	Yeah, there.
	Okay, got it, got it.
	All right.
	Yeah, I mean, generally, if you can move to a country where you can homeschool, I think that's a better decision.
	So, I think your issue is, there are corrupt people in the world, and could they corrupt my children, right?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Well, would your children love you and your wife and their siblings more than they would love corrupt strangers?
	Yeah, definitely.
	Okay, so that's the best you can do.
	Mm-hmm.
	Right?
	Did you just say that make sense?
	But let's say, yeah, that makes sense, but...
	I mean, you can, hang on, let me just give you an analogy, right?
	So you can give your children healthy food and you can teach them to wash their hands and follow good hygiene practices, but that does not guarantee that they will never get sick.
	Now, if they get sick, of course, That's actually quite good for their immune system, assuming it's not too dangerous, because if you get sick, then your immune system generally strengthens, and it could be a positive thing for your immune system as a whole.
	So, yes, there will be corrupt people out there in the world, and they will try and corrupt your children, and your best shot at protecting that is a strong bond within the family, teaching them virtues and values.
	And that way they can make better choices.
	Does that mean they'll always make perfect choices?
	Well, no, of course not.
	They don't.
	I don't.
	You don't.
	My wife is perfect, but that's a whole different thing.
	She's not of this earth.
	So, it's the best you can do, right?
	Can you guarantee, of course, that your kid is not going to get hit by a bus when they go out on their bikes?
	No.
	But, you know, you would teach them general safety and awareness and don't wear headphones and keep your wits about you and so on, right?
	And, you know, bike where it's safer.
	But you can't.
	You cannot guarantee safety for your kids.
	Now, we can say, ah, yes, but, you know, there's the internet and so on.
	It's like, well, yes, but the internet is why you're peaceful parenting in the first place.
	So the internet has given you, like most things, most technologies, it gives you strength and weakness, right?
	Like having a gun can protect you from invaders or you can use it to mug someone.
	So it increases your safety and it increases The risk of danger and corruption.
	So, yeah, there's bad stuff on the internet for sure, but there's also really great stuff on the internet, right?
	So, you do your best as a parent and the rest is up to fate and choice, right?
	And you do your best and so far my daughter makes great decisions and all of that, so...
	I can see that.
	I mean, so if you're looking for perfection and perfect safety, that won't happen.
	The other thing, of course, I forgot to mention this earlier, the difference between boys and girls is that boys can be hit, but almost nobody hits a girl.
	Right?
	So they have that kind of protection as well.
	So women face unique risks, which is sexual predation, but they also have unique protection in that society protects them more and people in general don't beat up girls, whereas boys can get beaten up.
	So I'm sort of trying to figure out, like, you have a strong bond, you teach virtues and values and so on, and I'm not sure what you can do outside of that, but if you let that make you a too worried and too stressed out parent, then you're letting the bad guys win, right?
	In the same way that, you know, everybody has health issues or ailments over the course of their life, but you don't say, well, I'm not going to go out anywhere because I might get a cold.
	That's letting the viruses win and turning into a kind of hypochondriac or a phobic or something like that.
	So there are risks and dangers in life.
	And the purpose is to, you try to minimize the risks you're exposed to.
	And after that, it's in the hands of fate.
	And I don't know that there's, I'm trying to figure out what standard you have.
	Like the standard obviously can't be, there are no bad or corrupt people in the world.
	My children will never ever meet a bad or corrupt person or nobody will ever try and corrupt my children.
	That's just not going to happen, right?
	So I'm trying to figure out what standard you have through which you are comparing the world to and finding it fairly wanting.
	Okay.
	How could you be sure that, let's say, Izzy has a friend, that has a friend, that has a friend, and then this friend is the bad one?
	Like this twerk of people.
	It's kind of hard to figure out, don't you think?
	I know that the ones that you met, they are all right, and you can vet them.
	But after that, it goes downhill.
	You can't be sure.
	Okay, so let's sort of play this out, because I'm still not quite sure what you mean.
	So, you have a daughter, and she has a friend who has a friend who has a friend who's bad, right?
	Or they meet in a party or something.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Whatever bad stuff, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so what's wrong with your child encountering a bad person?
	Help me understand.
	Like, what's wrong with that?
	I mean, that's like saying she should never ever get a germ or a virus.
	It's like, that's not healthy, right?
	I mean, you've got to get sick as a kid.
	It helps your immune system and so on.
	So, what's wrong with your daughter if it's around drinking?
	I assume she's at least mid-teens or later.
	So, what's wrong with your daughter meeting a bad person who wants her to drink alcohol?
	Maybe I think what I'm looking for now.
	Maybe.
	No, no, no.
	Sorry, I keep asking questions and I keep going off on tangents.
	I'm asking you a question.
	It's kind of rude to ignore it.
	I mean, you can say you don't want to answer it, or you can say that's a bad question and I don't want to answer it, but I keep asking these questions and just go off on these tangents, which means we're not having a conversation.
	So, what's wrong with your kid meeting a corrupt person?
	As long as she knows they are corrupt and can judge them as such, there is no problem.
	The problem is the people that pretend to be good and there are plenty.
	Right.
	Virtuous.
	Yeah, I get that.
	And I am very afraid of those people because right now I'm almost 36 and I still get in trouble with them.
	Sometimes they trick me.
	Okay, so this is your fear.
	Hang on, hang on.
	This is your fear.
	It's not a fear.
	Yeah, because I can't judge 100% sure.
	Sorry, what do you mean?
	These standards drive me crazy.
	What do you mean 100% sure?
	You see, you can't judge 100% sure.
	I'm not sure.
	Who can as a whole?
	If people are well camouflaged and only pretending to be virtuous, there's certainly a risk, right?
	Yeah.
	So what do you mean by 100% sure?
	Like, you mean you meet someone and you can see into their soul and x-ray their moral character and know 100% certainty whether they're corrupt or not?
	I don't know, Stefan.
	No, no, I'm asking you a question.
	Is that your standard?
	That you can look at someone, kind of airport scan their souls and figure out their percent corruption?
	No, there is no such thing.
	Okay, so I'm trying to understand what your concern is relative to what's possible or realistic.
	My concern is to be so afraid that I would helicopter my kid, not allowing her to grow up and do her mistakes and decisions by herself.
	Please give me an example.
	You said that you can't...
	Easily find out corrupt people if they're camouflaged.
	So give me an example, if you could, just because I'm an empiricist.
	So give me an example of something that happened recently where you missed someone's corruption and how that played out.
	Yeah.
	I have found a job one year ago and I was doing some work to this lady.
	She was very, very, very nice to me at first.
	And after I did, like, my wife and I did a bunch of favors to her because she got in trouble with her partner and she was, in our opinion, needing some help.
	Okay, sorry, who got in trouble with her partner?
	Do you mean romantic or business?
	My boss.
	Your boss got in trouble with her partner.
	Now, do you mean by that her business partner?
	Yeah, no, no.
	A guy...
	How can I explain that?
	Her partner went to jail because a guy tried to invade the business and he bit this guy.
	So he was sent to jail.
	Okay, so hang on, sorry.
	So there's this woman who hired you about a year ago.
	She seemed very nice.
	Yeah.
	And then her partner went to jail for hitting a guy who tried to invade the business?
	Exactly, yeah.
	Okay, so who is corrupt in this scenario?
	Yeah, I'll get to that.
	She was crying.
	She was needing some help.
	We did help her a bunch of times.
	Time went through and she hired other people and suddenly I was not essential anymore and she started to treat me very badly.
	I'm sorry, suddenly you were not what?
	Essential because I wasn't the only one working for her.
	Okay, so she hired other people.
	You were no longer essential.
	Okay, and then what happened?
	Yeah.
	She started treating me badly.
	In what way did she treat you badly?
	She yelled at me in front of other people because I cannot do anything right now.
	Because of my visa.
	And I cannot find another job.
	What did she yell at you about?
	Well, I cannot have this off.
	I have to do overtime.
	And I have to arrive early as well.
	I work with other people there.
	Then I'm the only one that has to clean the whole fucking shop.
	So it's kind of...
	Things like that.
	Okay, so she wanted you to not take any days off, and she wanted you to come in early and work overtime.
	Yeah, as well.
	And what is the business in general?
	In general, it's beauty.
	Sorry, beauty?
	Yeah, yes.
	It's like a salon when people get some work there.
	Do you mean like facials and haircutting and so on?
	Some makeup, some permanent makeup, and also tattoos.
	And what is your role there?
	I work as an artist there.
	A makeup artist?
	Yeah.
	Okay, got it.
	Okay, so how did she know she could yell at you?
	That's, I think, because she knew that I was a Christian or something like that.
	No, no, no, that's not it.
	That's not it.
	Or, I don't know, maybe because I'm on this weird path with the immigration.
	Well, does she know about your weird path with immigration?
	Yes, definitely.
	Okay.
	Why do you think she knew she could yell at you?
	Because she knew that I could not do anything about it.
	Okay.
	Does she yell at other people?
	No.
	So why is she only yelling at you?
	Have you had this problem before that people yell at you?
	No.
	Never.
	Okay.
	So you're in your mid to late 30s and no one has ever yelled at you or been particularly aggressive to you before now.
	No, they did, but not like when I was an employee by then or anything like that.
	This relationship is very different right now.
	Okay, so people have yelled at you before, but they have not yelled at you in a business context.
	Exactly.
	Like, when I was a kid, something, or when I had my friends, and we discussed things, but not my boss.
	And not in front of clients.
	Okay.
	How does your boss know that she can yell at you in front of clients?
	I think that she knows that I cannot do anything about it.
	And I cannot just find another job.
	And you can't find another job because you're tied into this visa?
	Yeah.
	Okay, so you can't leave the job because then you would be deported?
	It's not that bad.
	I just cannot find the job because I have restrictions with my visa, so I have to work.
	I have work permit.
	But I cannot do many hours, if that makes sense.
	Sorry, you cannot watch many hours?
	So, it doesn't allow me to work a full week, just half.
	So, people usually don't have...
	Hang on, hang on, sorry.
	Can you change jobs?
	Not easily.
	Okay, so, sorry, sorry.
	I'll have to find...
	Hang on, hang on.
	Hang on, hang on.
	I just, I don't want to overcomplicate this, right?
	Is it possible for you to change jobs?
	In theory.
	Okay, so that's a yes.
	You can change jobs.
	I know it's not easy.
	I get that it's not easy.
	I get that it's not easy.
	But you can.
	The visa doesn't say, if you're not working at this job, you're deported.
	Is that right?
	Yeah, but...
	Can I just explain something real quick?
	Sure.
	I would have to find someone that I know that wants to help me and hire me illegally, per se, not as part-time, but as a full employee, but not put me on book because the government doesn't allow that.
	So it's kind of tricky.
	Okay, so sorry, you said you're only allowed to work part-time now.
	Is it true that at another job, you would also only be allowed to work part-time?
	Yes.
	Okay, so is it that the woman is illegally having you work more hours at the job you're currently at?
	Yes.
	Okay, so then you'd need somebody else who'd be willing to break the law in order to give you more hours in another job.
	Yeah.
	So that's the problem.
	Okay.
	Got it, man.
	I'm trying to find this someone, but I still couldn't.
	Anyway, the whole situation is like a mess and sorry for bringing that.
	But what I'm trying to say is for many, many months, at least six months, I had no idea that the lady was so bad.
	After this thing started to happen and I was feeling humiliated and dumb, dumb as fuck.
	Sorry for you.
	And I was entangled in that situation, then felt helpless, but also because I had my philosophy.
	I know what's right and wrong, finally, and it's easy actually to see that.
	But I felt like stupid because I could not see the flags.
	I know that was somewhere down the road.
	But I could not spot that.
	Okay, why did her partner go to jail?
	Because he hit a guy trying to mess with the shot.
	That was all that I know.
	Okay, so I assume that this was not self-defense.
	So he did something illegal, right?
	And let's just go with the fact that it was not obvious self-defense and so on.
	And how long?
	You've worked there for six months, if I understand this correctly.
	How long did you work there before the guy was arrested?
	Yeah, it was like a week or something.
	Okay, so I'm trying to understand how you tell me you had no idea she had any problems, yet she was partnered with a guy who beat someone up and went to jail within a week of you being there.
	Yeah, I saw the camera.
	I saw the guy trying to get into the shop and so on.
	And I know that it wasn't in self-defense, but I Okay, so you're not hearing what I'm saying.
	So this woman is partners with a guy who beats someone up and goes to jail.
	And then you're saying you had no idea she had any dysfunctions.
	Yeah, this thing happened after one week that I was working there.
	But I didn't have any idea why he left the thing and he was in jail.
	So it took me a while to discover that, actually.
	It took like at least three months or something.
	This is why people yell at you, man, because you don't listen.
	Explain to me the contradiction that I'm trying to point out, just because I've now said it twice, right?
	Or maybe three times.
	So explain, I just need to check if you're listening.
	What is the contradiction I'm trying to point out?
	You're saying that I was working to a woman that got her partner in jail because he hit someone.
	And I was saying that I did not see a head fake, but there was one right there.
	Okay, so why aren't you responding to that?
	I'm trying, but I do believe that because of my English, you are not understanding what I'm trying to say.
	Oh, so...
	It's not that you don't listen, it's that it's a language barrier.
	Probably.
	I'm trying to say that...
	Do you think that this is the first...
	Sorry to interrupt.
	Do you think that this is the first instance I've had in this conversation of you not listening or not responding to what I'm saying, but going off on tangents?
	No, it is not the first one.
	Okay.
	So do you think it might be a habit that you have?
	Yes, probably.
	Okay.
	So, the whole thing is founded on, I worked for this woman for six months, I had no idea she had any problems, but then within a week of starting to work for her, she had a partner who beat the hell out of some guy, and he went to jail, which I assume is pretty serious, unless he's a habitual criminal, because normally if you get into some fight with someone, it seems odd that you would go to jail right away.
	So, maybe he yelled at the cops, or maybe he yelled at the judge, or maybe he's got a criminal history, because it seems like quite a lot.
	To go to jail for the first time you get into a fistfight with someone.
	But okay, so on the one hand, you say to me, how can I possibly tell who might be corrupt?
	And on the other hand, you're saying this woman had a partner who beat a guy up and went to jail within a week of me meeting her.
	Yes, but what I'm trying to say, Stefan, it took me three months to discover that the guy was actually in jail.
	It happened one week after I started to work to her.
	It took me three months to realize that he was actually in jail.
	I had no idea that this thing would happen.
	Okay, when did you see the video?
	After three months.
	Okay.
	So he disappeared a week after you met him.
	He just vanished, right?
	Yes.
	And you asked where he was and...
	People said he's on vacation, he's at home, he's watching Sopranos.
	Like, what did they say if you asked where this guy had gone?
	They have two different businesses.
	He was running another shop with a different kind of business, plus this one shop that just mainly hurt.
	That's the beauty part of the business.
	So that's why I wasn't even supposed to...
	To work with him, or know him, or whatever.
	But I understand your critique anyway, and I do believe that you are right.
	But, yeah.
	Okay, so let's give you complete benefit of the doubt, and you say, well, there's no way I could have known about any problems in the business in the first three months, right?
	No, I think there were.
	No, no, but let's say that there's no way that you could have known anything before the first three months.
	Right?
	But that's what you would have told me then.
	You would have said, well, I joined this business, this guy kind of vanished, and I didn't find out about anything bad from three months.
	But for the last three months, I've known about how bad things were.
	But that's not what you said.
	You said, I've been working there for six months, she just started yelling at me, and I had no way of knowing.
	There were any problems beforehand?
	Yeah.
	That's the thing that I find interesting about this whole situation.
	Because when I was essential to them...
	Okay, what are you talking about?
	Are you responding to what I'm saying?
	Or are you going off on another fucking tangent?
	No, I'm not going...
	I'm not going to...
	You are not responding to what I'm saying!
	This is why people get mad at you.
	I'm telling you, brother, you can listen to me or not.
	I'm telling you.
	This is why people get mad at you.
	Because people say stuff and you go off on story time and you don't respond.
	That's annoying.
	Okay, what was it that I just said that you needed to respond to?
	I don't remember.
	Right.
	See, this is the problem.
	You're not listening.
	You're just waiting for your turn to justify yourself because everything you say is a self-justification.
	Everything you say is, they're bad, I'm perfect.
	They're wrong, I'm right.
	They're corrupt, I'm not.
	I'm trapped, they're bullies.
	All it is is self-justification.
	Constant, constant stream of self-justification and no listening, which means I'm not here to have a conversation with you.
	I'm here so that you can speak into the void about how your heart done by and everyone else is bad and you're always right.
	Because what you said to me for six months, I had no idea there were any problems.
	And then I said, well, the week after, blah, blah, blah.
	And you say, well, I didn't find out for three months.
	And I say, okay, well, let's take the three months.
	So when you tell me for six months, I didn't think there were any problems, but it turns out you watched the guy beat someone else up and found out he went to jail within three months, then the six months is a lie.
	I'm not calling you some big stinky liar.
	I'm just saying, you're like, how could I possibly have known there were any problems in the business when a guy...
	Beat up someone, not in self-defense, and went to jail for assault, and this was a business partner of the woman.
	In other words, she has a business partner who's violent, and then you're deeply shocked that she's verbally aggressive.
	You gotta be kidding me, bro.
	The reason you can't see corruption is you're too busy justifying yourself.
	I mean, I'll tell you something radical.
	Right?
	Maybe this will help you.
	Maybe this will.
	But I'm going to say it anyway.
	So what I'm going to tell you that's radical is to say, the reason you're getting yelled at is 100% your fault.
	And listen, when bad things happen to me in my life, my default position is, I did it.
	I did it.
	I caused it.
	I'm responsible for it.
	So you're extremely tentative.
	And you don't listen and you're kind of manipulative because you change your story so that you always look good and right.
	That's annoying to people.
	Because we're being used as a prop for your vanity and self-justification rather than having an honest and direct conversation.
	So you're having these issues at work and it was kind of cloaked into, well, Steph, you know, what changed with you having a girl?
	Maybe you became more tentative.
	Maybe you protected women more, right?
	And I'm like, okay, is that what's going on?
	No, that's not what's going on.
	It's not really that.
	Okay, so, because I was going to ask, when you said, Steph, you're more tentative, I was going to say, okay, in what ways do you see me being more tentative?
	And then I said, my response was, well, boys and girls are both strong and weak in different areas.
	And then that was kind of dropped and we went on to something else.
	And then I'm finally like, okay, so this has something to do with you and your kids.
	And then you brought up this thing about...
	Well, there's some kid who wins the lottery, blah, blah, blah.
	And I go, okay, is this some kid or your kid?
	And we went back and forth on that for a while.
	And so it's very hard.
	I'm a pretty skilled communicator.
	That's my job, my gig, right?
	It's really hard to have a direct conversation with you.
	And I'm not saying she's right for yelling at you.
	Of course, I'm not saying that at all.
	But what I'm saying is, what if you took the position?
	That you are responsible for her yelling at you because most people don't have internal moral standards.
	They just do what they can get away with, which is why I kept asking, how did she know that she could yell at you?
	Now, if you say, well, the reason she knew she could yell at me is that I would roll over and take it, plus I'm indirect in my communication, which is going to annoy immature people.
	I mean, I'm annoyed by it, but I'm not going to act it out because, you know, I'm...
	Not immature that way.
	I may be immature in other ways, but not that way, not that way.
	So if you were to look in the mirror and say, I cause people's aggression towards me, that would give you some power to change your behavior.
	Because if someone yells at you in public, they're doing so knowing that you're going to roll over and take it.
	Whereas if...
	You make a joke back or laugh at them or, you know, tell them to take a chill pill or go get a shiatsu massage or something and find it not scary and intimidating and terrifying.
	And you can say the visa stuff.
	I get all of that.
	I get all of that.
	But have you ever studied the art of verbal self-defense, right?
	So you've said that it doesn't happen professionally, but it happens in other areas of your life.
	And this is important for everyone.
	There's ways to respond to people who are escalating.
	So that they have to back down.
	Have you ever looked at how do you respond to bullies?
	What is the verbal art of self-defense?
	Have you ever studied how to de-escalate situations with aggressive people?
	Have you ever said, look, there's something I'm doing that is bringing this about or at least not preventing it.
	So what can I change in my behavior so that I know how to put someone in their place who's bullying me.
	I know how to de-escalate situations.
	I know how to not take things personally.
	Have you ever studied anything to do with the verbal arts of self-defense?
	And that's not a leading question.
	I'm just genuinely curious because if this is happening, right, if someone's yelling at me, I'm like, okay, so I got to figure out how to deal with this, right?
	Not roll into a ball and complain about the other person, but I've got to figure out how to deal with this.
	So if you've had people be aggressive with you over the course of your life, have you ever read any books or studied any literature or watched any videos on No, I didn't.
	I'm sorry?
	No, I never read anything about this.
	Okay, so have you ever looked like how to deal with workplace bullies, how to deal with people who yell at you?
	I mean, there's tons and tons of videos and literature and...
	Anything like that.
	And I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
	I'm genuinely curious.
	Like, you have a problem, and what is your solution?
	Is your solution to gain knowledge and skills to deal with the problem?
	I never had any problem dealing with that in my country.
	And, sorry, let me rephrase that.
	That's my English part, not working well.
	The times that I had this problem...
	Back in my country, I was able to deal with that using violence, like yelling back and using not my reason apart or something like that.
	And it was pre-philosophy.
	It was before you.
	So after that, I had no problem with the police anymore.
	And I was already an adult.
	And that's it.
	But being here...
	In another country dealing with another language as another layer of complexity.
	I'm very anxious just to deal with this situation.
	Okay, so you're saying this is not a problem in your life, it's just a factor of some of the sketchy immigration stuff you're doing and the fact that you have a lot of...
	No, no.
	It is a problem.
	Brother.
	Why are you interrupting me?
	Why are you interrupting me?
	You're saying that I'm saying something that I'm not saying.
	I'm just trying to be clear.
	You didn't even let me finish my sentence.
	Sorry.
	I didn't realize that.
	Would you say that you called me in part because I'm an expert communicator?
	Yes.
	So why are you talking over me when I'm trying to explain to you something if I'm an expert communicator?
	This is like you being 300 pounds, going to a super fit guy and telling him he's wrong when he tries to give you advice.
	Do you not think that I've had to deal with bullying over the course of my life, particularly in my public career?
	Sorry.
	Sorry?
	Yes, you had to do with that.
	And do you think I have dealt fairly successfully with the bullying that I've experienced over the course of my life and in particular my public career?
	Uh-huh.
	Okay.
	So do you think that I'm a reasonably good listener?
	In other words, do you think that I have lineups around the block for people to get advice from me because I'm a good listener?
	No.
	Okay?
	So, I'm a good listener.
	I've dealt with the topic that you're dealing with.
	I'm older.
	I have good advice.
	And you interrupt me when I'm trying to tell you something.
	This has happened on more than one occasion.
	Now, what I was trying to say was, you told me that you have not dealt with being bullied in a professional or work environment.
	It's only happened in a non-work environment in the past.
	That was my understanding of what you had said to me.
	Exactly.
	Exactly.
	Did I do that?
	He said that the reason why you feel tentative to yell back or fight back is because of some of the sketchy immigration stuff that is going on and the fact that you're in a new country and it's tough to change jobs.
	That's what you told me.
	Sorry, I think I misheard you.
	I thought you meant that I was thinking that I want to have this problem because of the language, because that was the last thing that I said before that.
	No, I started talking.
	I literally said sketchy immigration stuff, right?
	Sorry, I misunderstood you.
	Okay.
	So, generally, if there's a language barrier, and I sympathize with that, Then let me finish.
	Right?
	So if you say, well, there's a language barrier, then you should let me finish, right?
	So if you are doing something sketchy from an immigration standpoint, and you have no leg to stand on to push back against this woman, then it's a reasonable strategy to take being yelled at.
	If she's able to give you the hours that you want, which is not applicable under your visa, then...
	You are not in a strong negotiating position, so you're just going to have to take being yelled at.
	If you can't yell back, I wouldn't say yell back, but there's lots of ways that you can defuse escalating situations without yelling at people.
	I had Joe Rogan jump me on a podcast live in millions and have a real ambush.
	I didn't yell at the guy.
	Right?
	I had reporters, and you can see this online, I had reporters and newscasters and so on try and corner and humiliate me on live TV with millions of people watching, and I think I was pretty good at handling that and dealing with that.
	So I have some real experience in this area.
	Now, if you're going to tell me, well, I can't be assertive with this woman because I need her to sign my paycheck for various reasons that are, you know, whatever.
	Okay, but then...
	I don't know what you're asking me then.
	Because if you say, well, this woman yells at me, and I say, well, you could do this, this, and this, and you say, that's impossible because I need the hours, and I'm in a sketchy immigration situation, then what you're doing, and this, again, I don't understand why people do this to me.
	Like, they call me with a problem, and then they tell me a solution is impossible.
	But if a solution is impossible, why are you calling me with a problem?
	And also, you didn't tell me the truth because you said for six months you had no idea of any issues within the business or corruption within the business, and then you tell me, a guy beat someone else up, I didn't find out about it for the first three months, but certainly for the last three months you've known about this, and you didn't say that.
	You said there was no way for me to know there were any problems with this business, oh, except for the fact that the last three months...
	Some guy assaulted, the business partner, the woman yelling at me, assaulted a guy and went to jail.
	But you've known for three months and you didn't tell me about.
	You just played this innocent little lamb who had no way of knowing.
	It's like, I have no way of knowing who's corrupt.
	And it's like, you absolutely do.
	Because this woman is business partners with a guy who beat up someone and went to jail and you've known that for at least three months.
	I'm just trying to give you some empowerment here.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	Can you just interrupt just for a second?
	What I was talking about was there were red flags that I wasn't put to read.
	I had no idea that not the business itself were so bad because after she started yelling and humiliating me, after six months, I was, whoa, where is this thing coming from?
	Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me.
	Are you saying that you had no way of knowing there were any...
	Sorry, are you interrupting me again?
	One more time, bro.
	One more time.
	It's so rude.
	Because I start to talk and you just cannot resist the urge to interrupt me to justify yourself.
	So you keep calling me up and you ask me for advice and all you do is tell me that I'm wrong.
	That's fine.
	If I'm wrong, stop taking advice from me.
	I don't know why we're in a conversation where you're calling me up to say, Steph, I'm having trouble identifying corruption.
	I'm trying to help you with that.
	Steph, I have someone who yells at me at work.
	I'm trying to help you with that.
	And all you do is interrupt me and tell me I'm wrong.
	Every solution, every insight, every possibility I give you.
	I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
	That's fine.
	But then stop taking my advice.
	I don't understand why you're in this conversation.
	Asking for my advice, constantly interrupting me, and telling me I'm wrong.
	What's the point?
	It's like hiring a personal trainer who's super fit when you're fat and lethargic, and then constantly interrupting his advice to tell him it's wrong.
	Do you understand?
	Like, it doesn't make sense foundationally.
	Like, it's a very good thing.
	See, you feel frustrated and helpless in your life.
	I'm telling you how not to be frustrated and helpless in your life.
	And what you're trying to do, unconsciously, is to make me feel frustrated and helpless in the conversation.
	In other words, this virus of self-pity, helplessness, and frustration is trying to jump from you to me.
	That's not going to happen, just so you know.
	I don't do helpless and frustrated.
	I don't do every solution is impossible.
	I don't do I'm wrong with everything I say.
	And I don't have people call me up to ask for advice and then interrupt me and tell me I'm wrong continually.
	So, I don't know that there's anything else to say, but I just, I don't do those conversations.
	And I'm sorry that you missed the opportunity to get advice, but sometimes people want advice, and sometimes they only pretend to want advice, but instead they just want to frustrate and tell people that they're wrong.
	So I'll certainly give you the last word because, you know, it's fine to have that, but I don't have any desire to continue.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	All right, I guess he's done.
	Yeah, I mean, that is a real shame.
	It's a real shame that some people are just so addicted to this helplessness and self-pity.
	And self-justification that they will call up for advice and not take any advice.
	I just find that so strange.
	I just find that so strange.
	It's like going to an expert doctor and then interrupting them when they try to help you and tell them that they're just wrong about everything.
	Anyway, okay.
	Does anybody else have any other thoughts or questions or challenges or issues or problems?
	Or we can even talk about the last conversation if that's of interest to you, anybody who wants to chat or mention anything.
	I might have to go and do some weights.
	I just, I really, for me, I really dislike that sort of claustrophobic, oh, you've misunderstood everything and you're wrong about this and you're wrong about that and I can't solve it because of this and I can't solve it because of that.
	And, you know, I told him repeatedly, this is probably why people get annoyed with you.
	Nope, didn't matter.
	He just moves on to the next justification, the next justification, the next justification.
	And I just, I don't do that.
	Like, the moment I start to feel that claustrophobic helplessness, And I start to feel that insistence that the other person won't listen, only wants to self-justify, only wants to tell you that you're wrong, only wants to call you up and ask you for advice and then reject everything you say and tell you that you get everything wrong.
	The moment I'm involved in those conversations, I mean, I think I gave it a good old, I want to say the good old college try, but I don't stay in those conversations and I would really strongly recommend you don't either.
	Like, the moment you start to feel helpless and frustrated in your conversation with someone, you can express it for sure, and I think it's a good thing to express.
	But, yeah, don't stick in it, right?
	Don't stick in it, because you're just going to end up feeling annoyed and frustrated.
	And then there's this weird, the virus then jumps, right?
	The virus of self-pity, helplessness, justification, and frustration just jumps from them to you.
	And remember, you know, bad mental habits, they're like viruses.
	Bad mental habits are always trying to jump from person to person.
	And I just want to...
	I won't do that stuff.
	Not for me.
	Not in any way, Shipper Forum.
	All right.
	Any other last questions, comments, issues, challenges?
	How are you feeling about the convo?
	How are you feeling about today?
	I'm happy to hear.
	You just have to unmute, I think.
	Really?
	Nobody's got anything to say.
	Is everyone stunned?
	Yes, sir, my friend.
	Double H. Just unmute.
	Well, if nobody's asking, I'll ask.
	How to best ask women to go out for a cup of coffee?
	Bro, you didn't watch the show last night, right?
	No, I did not.
	Yeah, sorry.
	I just did all of this on the show last night, so I'm not going to do it again.
	Because I did like half an hour on this last night.
	So, sorry.
	I mean, there's no reason why you would necessarily have known that, but people are asking conversations about, like, the Bitcoin and stuff.
	I think it was you, too.
	I did all this last night.
	Is there anything else that you wanted to know?
	No, not really.
	All right.
	Going once, going twice.
	I don't know, man.
	I'm surprised nobody has anything to talk about with regards to that last conversation.
	Let me just check the chat window here.
	He says, let's see here, what do they say?
	A dude apparently really couldn't help himself, yeah.
	Yeah, it is a tough perspective, but I think it's really important to say, if bad things are happening in my life, it's 100% my fault.
	It's my problem to solve.
	It's my issue to solve.
	Now, maybe if this guy's, you know, got all these immigration restrictions and he's doing something sketchy, then he's not in a situation.
	To be assertive.
	Okay.
	That's fine.
	Right?
	I mean, if the cops behind you telling you to pull over, you pull over.
	That's what you do.
	So, his issue was, how do I identify corruption?
	And it wasn't even, how do I be assertive, right?
	So then he said, well, I didn't know for six months that there was anything corrupt going on.
	And then he said, well, a week after this guy did this, and he says, well, I didn't find out about it for three months.
	Okay, okay, so let's say that.
	And he said, well, there were indications beforehand, right?
	So people can't say, I have no way of identifying corruption and then tell me all the corruption that was happening.
	And of course, if the woman was against aggression, she wouldn't be partners with the guy who beat someone up.
	So...
	I'm trying to help someone say there are signs and he's just telling me that I'm wrong.
	Okay.
	So, again, I don't give advice to people who go off on tangents.
	I don't give advice to people who just tell me I'm wrong about everything.
	And I don't give advice to people who don't listen.
	I mean, it's a pointless exercise and annoying for everyone involved.
	And I think that there's a certain amount of just cruelty, especially in a sort of public conversation.
	To sort of inflict that level of dissociation and self-pity on an audience as a whole.
	And also this guy, I guess we had a conversation before, so he's, I assume, been around this conversation for...
	And it's funny too, like if he's been around this conversation for years, right?
	And for years, for years really, for as long as I've been doing this, I've been talking about 150% self-ownership.
	That if bad things happen in your life, it's you.
	It's you.
	You are the one who has to make changes.
	And this is just a practical thing.
	That's just a practical thing in that if something bad is happening in your life, it's your job to fix it because other people really aren't going to.
	They're not going to get invested in it.
	They're not going to solve it.
	They're not going to deal with it.
	I didn't believe that he'd never...
	He was in his mid-late 30s.
	I didn't believe that he'd never faced any workplace bullying or aggression before.
	I just...
	I just...
	I don't believe that.
	Again, obviously, I have to just go with what people say, but...
	I experienced workplace bullying and aggression as a teenager.
	And it's just so common.
	And I would assume in Central South America, it's a bit more of a primitive culture, so it may be even more common.
	But yeah, I mean, workplace bullying and aggression, I mean, I dealt with that.
	Gosh, I mean, that happened to me in my jobs in the hardware stores.
	It happened to me in restaurants and so on.
	I even had, when I was a paper route guy, When I was like 12, I had a paper route, and I had people who wouldn't pay, right?
	So I had to go and collect the money, the cash.
	I had to put the money in the bank account, and then the newspaper would take the money out of the bank account.
	I had people who wouldn't pay, who dodged and avoided me.
	I would see them in their backyard, go around the side of their house when they owed me money, and I'd say, hey, and they're like, hey, you're trespassing, kid.
	Like, get the hell out of here.
	I kind of sick my dogs on you.
	And it's like, so that's, you know, that's a 12, that's aggression.
	And so, I just, I can't believe that he just, until his late 30s, nobody ever got aggressive or was any kind of bullying towards him in any workplace he ever, I just don't believe that.
	I just don't believe that.
	So.
	But of course, you know, I just have to go with what people, what people say.
	And I think it's kind of odd that he would have experienced it in his private life, but not.
	And also, when I'm feeling annoyed with someone, I can, I don't, I don't sympathize.
	But I understand, right?
	So there's empathizing and sympathizing.
	Empathizing is when you feel what other people feel.
	Sympathizing is when you feel and approve, right?
	So I empathize with the people who yell at him, because for me, that's annoying, right?
	Jay says, I experience workplace bullying a lot too.
	Most places I've worked for, actually, it's quite common in blue-collar jobs.
	Yeah.
	I mean, and some of it's kind of hazing and all of that kind of land man stuff, but some of it is, yeah, it's just...
	Dysfunctional people who are bullies.
	All right, let me just do one final pass here.
	James says, I started off working for my father.
	Aggression built right in.
	It's just, it's very common.
	Workplace bullying.
	And it also happens in academia and so on.
	All right, sorry, we've got one person who wants to say something.
	Swizz, you're going to have to unmute, but I'm certainly happy to hear.
	And of course, I blasted my ears a little bit because the last guy was so quiet.
	We'll fix that in post.
	But then when someone else talked, there's like your brain.
	Soviet anthem oversample.
	All right, Swizz, you're on the air.
	Yes, I just had something more about the form than the content of the last conversation you just had.
	And it's basically ever since you got deplatformed, I've seen a ton of, all over the web, not even just your platforms, but all over the internet about how there's a lot of confrontations in the calls now.
	Live streams like this, especially.
	And it's really, really grinding to a lot of people, including me.
	And I think I just came to the realization, like, I know why.
	It's because I don't fix the, personally, and I'm only saying this personally, because it probably applies to a lot of the people publishing comments like that, like I said, all over the internet.
	It's that our solution is to leave, to sort of escape those, the confrontations.
	Like, that's the fix for us.
	So when we hear it going on, on your show.
	Or someone you're talking to.
	It's like, this is horrible.
	This is so hard to listen to.
	This is so naggy and whiny.
	Why don't you guys just stop talking so you can stop stressing me out?
	But now it just sort of clicked for me that you stay in these conversations.
	You probably don't do this in your personal life, but you stay in these to illustrate something.
	Well, I, you know, and perhaps to a fault, I'm sure it is to a fault, I really want to help people.
	Like, I really, I'm like, I'm desperate to help people, right?
	And this guy, I mean, obviously a smart listener and, you know, really positive qualities and he's married, he wants to become kids.
	I don't want him to infect his kids with this kind of self-pity and helplessness.
	So I'm thinking about him, I'm thinking about his wife, I'm thinking about his future kids.
	So, and to a fault, right?
	And this is sort of like, I desperately, desperately want to help people because I know what the stakes are.
	I know if I can break through to someone, it can change their life.
	I know that if I don't break through to someone, It's not going to happen.
	Because, you know, how many people would spend an hour trying to get through to this guy who have a particular kind of skill?
	Like, it's never going to happen.
	That's why I said at the end, like, I'm really sorry I didn't take the opportunity.
	Like, it's never going to happen again.
	This just doesn't happen.
	Like, maybe, I don't know, maybe if he pays for some sort of mental health professional, not that I am, but, you know, I can at least, like, but to sort of try and get through to him and to connect this helplessness and to give him Some sort of power to not be helpless, or at least to not feel that way, and to not just want to self-justify and tell the other person that they're wrong.
	Because I know the stakes, like it's a now or never, and he's in his 30s, he's got another half century to live, so I will do just about everything I can, and this is also for my own conscience.
	If I bail out too early, I feel like, ooh, I could have done more.
	After an hour, I'm like, okay, there's no crack in the facade, there's no listening, there's no change.
	And there's just excuses for everything, right?
	And so, that's my, I'm just, I'm desperate to help people.
	And, you know, strength or weakness, I don't even really care at the moment.
	That's just how it is, right?
	I'm desperate to help people.
	I know what the stakes are.
	I also know it's now or never.
	Like, it's going to happen on this call, or it's never going to happen, for the most part.
	And so, you know, like, if somebody's a chain smoker, right?
	And they're still young, right?
	They can, Beetle style, they can smoke and get better.
	Well, except for George Harrison.
	But if somebody's like a really heavy smoker and I just know it's going to go badly in their life, they're going to get sick, they're going to die, they're going to secondhand smoke around their kids, it's going to be bad.
	And if I spend an hour really desperately trying to get them to at least agree to quit smoking, you know, and again, maybe it's a fault too much.
	It doesn't really matter.
	It just is.
	I have to satisfy my conscience.
	I hope it's not at the expense of the audience at all.
	I have to satisfy my own conscience that I gave it everything I could.
	Because It will not happen again for this guy.
	I mean, this is true in life, and tell me if you've experienced this yourself.
	There are opportunities that open up, and when they close, they're gone.
	And they don't come back.
	There's little portals, little windows, right?
	So this guy called up with very indirect questions that had nothing to do with what was really going on in his life.
	We burrowed through all of those.
	I was trying to sort of empower him.
	Tell him the causality and give him some authority and willpower in the situation, or at least tell him, if you are subjugating yourself for reasons of sketchy immigration stuff, then don't complain about it, just accept it as just the situation and so on, right?
	So, I really do.
	I really do try.
	I really do try.
	Oh, he said he's still here.
	He didn't hang up.
	I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to interrupt.
	What?
	No, that's...
	No, so I'm asking him for his last thoughts, and then he doesn't say anything.
	He can at least say I don't have any last thoughts, but he was just silent, which is passive-aggressive, and now he's saying, well, I didn't want to interrupt.
	Now, that's passive-aggressive, right?
	So I asked him not to interrupt, and then he's saying, well, hey, man, I'm just following your instructions.
	I didn't want to interrupt.
	Like, that's just passive-aggressive, right?
	Anyway, again, I mean, some people, you lower the rope down the well, some people will gratefully clamber up, and other people will try and pull you down.
	And I don't do well.
	I don't do well with wells.
	All right.
	Sorry, somebody's still on the line.
	If you have any sort of quotes or comments or...
	I think you muted, but if there's any other thoughts.
	Ah, AAB, you had something that you wanted to mention.
	Just unmute if you want.
	I've given you permission, Amish Bear.
	Hey.
	Yes, sir.
	How's it going?
	Good, how you doing?
	Just a real quick story here about peaceful parenting, if you don't mind the topic change.
	I don't.
	So, I have my daughter this weekend, I'm divorced, and she has an infection.
	And we have to give her, you know, azithromycin, a standard protocol.
	And she absolutely hates the taste of it.
	And we, just a methodology I employed that worked really well, because she's six, and being, I basically trained her how to not taste food and just basically shoot it.
	Oh, like hold your nose or something?
	Not even hold your nose, like...
	We just worked together to develop a methodology for her to taste the medicine as little as possible.
	And we used like strawberry sorbet as the practice.
	So the point of this being, I've gotten a lot of flack for the whole peaceful parenting thing and the not brute force approach.
	And it absolutely works.
	And the best, the side effect of this is She now knows that she can do something hard because she was crying at the thought of having to take the medicine because she knows how it tastes.
	She knows it tastes horrible.
	And it does.
	I tasted it.
	It's bitter.
	So it's like plus one for the peaceful parenting.
	It's absolutely effective.
	It totally works.
	And all the naysayers, you're like, well, how do you get this stuff to help?
	It's like, just be creative.
	Just think about it.
	How would you want to?
	Well, I mean, not to use too harsh an analogy, that's a great example.
	So libertarians say, well, I mean, if the government doesn't force it, the free market will provide.
	And it's like, so if you just take force out of your vocabulary, all other kind of great things come along.
	Right?
	So you know how people say, well, without the government, we won't have any roads.
	And it's like, well, without force, I won't have any influence on my kid, or he won't have any discipline.
	And so it's like, well, without force, bad things are going to happen.
	And it's like, the libertarians always say, well, what if you just take force off the table?
	Then the free, like, you know, we had slaves, then we took slavery off the table, and we got the modern world, right?
	Productivity and growth and all that.
	So if you just say, okay, like, it's like somebody says, well, I mean, look, I mean, the Mongolian Genghis Khan culture was about conquest and rape.
	So you're saying, hang on, if we don't conquest and rape, the entire human population is going to die out because no children will get born.
	And it's like, well, no, that's taxation and feminism.
	But it's like saying, well, without rape, how will children get born?
	It's like, well, romance, sex, love, you know, that kind of good.
	So if you take force off the table, it's incredible how many solutions will be generated.
	But as long as force is on the table, people think that's the only way things can get, well, you know, if the government doesn't tax you and inflict education, quote, education on everyone, kids won't get educated, right?
	And it's like, well, no, if you take force off the table, you get an infinity of wonderful moral and creative solutions.
	We accept that in the free market, but somehow around parenting, that whole idea just kind of falls apart.
	It's like, well, it's got to be force, otherwise you won't have any authority or discipline or you can't teach kids anything.
	And it's like, what if you just don't use violence?
	The opposite is true.
	Because I got her, she learned that she can do hard things now.
	Right.
	At six.
	Right.
	Right.
	And she's learned that you don't just have to willpower it, but you can use tips and tricks to bypass some of it, right?
	Yeah.
	And it's like, and the ability to empathize and be like, yeah, it's bitter.
	Yeah, it sucks.
	But we got to do it so you can be healthy reinforces that I care about her.
	This is a positive thing.
	Versus an overwhelming negative thing.
	Right.
	Because now I can take this strategy and use it for things like Brussels sprouts or peas or vegetables.
	And we do this all the time, right?
	So if I have endless paperwork to do sometimes as a business guy, and I'm like, okay, but at least let me put on some great music.
	You know, I'll find ways to make it slightly less negative or something like that.
	Or it's like, okay, well, if I have something really dull to read that I have to read for whatever reason, At least let me sit on a bike machine and get some cardio in or something like that.
	Like, just try and find some way to make it less negative or something like that.
	And so, yeah, we do that kind of stuff all the time.
	And teaching a kid that when they're young is great, you know?
	I mean, I don't have to teach my daughter self-discipline because, you know, she's seen me.
	I've got a headache.
	I'm tired.
	I don't want to do a show.
	But I'm going to go do a show, right?
	And it usually ends up being actually a pretty good way to spend the time because it's not like sitting there with a headache and being tired is a lot of fun.
	She sees me do the stuff that I don't always feel like doing in the moment, so I don't have to teach her self-discipline because I've kind of modeled it, and it's just as opposed to, I'm going to hit you if you don't do it.
	It doesn't teach self-discipline, it just teaches fear.
	Right.
	So, just wanted to share that, throw that in the hopper.
	Well, I appreciate that, and what a great way to end the conversation because, yeah, I mean, my daughter and I are heading out today, so I really do appreciate everyone dropping by, freedomain.com slash donate to help out.
	did a great show this morning about let he who is without sin cast the first stone, which is one of the most powerful stories, not just in the Bible, but in the moral canon of ethical thinking in the West or the world as a whole.
	I hope you'll check that out when it comes out.
	It was a great show last night.
	I hope that you'll check that out as well.
	And yeah, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show.
	Really do appreciate everyone's time today.
	Lots of love.

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