Sept. 7, 2024 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
28:51
5630 THE BEST DATING ADVICE!
A deep, rousing speech from Wednesday Night Live, 4 September 2024... the best dating advice you will ever hear...Watch the full livestream here: https://premium.freedomain.com/66d9db662eb0068d0b030835/the-best-dating-adviceGET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND AUDIOBOOK!https://peacefulparenting.com/Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
And if you don't agree with me, you don't owe me a penny.
If you do agree, then you'll tip.
We've got that deal, right?
I'm going to, I'm going to stick to my end.
I'm going to ask you to stick to yours.
So here's the question.
I'm 24 and there's this woman at my work who's 28 or 29 and she's beautiful.
I've spoken to her a few times, and she's super smart, but also super into her work.
I'm interested in her, but also unsure if she'd be willing to give up work if we got serious.
Alright.
Alright.
So, your question is... If I date her, and we start to get serious, and I say, I want a stay-at-home mother,
If that happens, well, what if she just won't do it?
What if she just won't be a stay-at-home mother?
What if any of this?
What if it doesn't happen?
What if it doesn't work?
What if?
What if?
No.
No.
It's not the way to think of dating at all.
Not even close.
Not even close.
The way to think of dating is to improve the quality and desirability of your flesh and soul to the point where the woman will follow you to the end of the fucking earth.
You become as magnificent a human being as you possibly can become and that's a virtual infinity above all of us as we are.
You become as magnificent a human being as you possibly can!
To the point where she will walk with you through hell itself, just to be by your side.
Trust me.
I know a little bit about this, as I think you all know.
My wife is so magnificent, she could say, I've decided to move to the Antarctic and live in an igloo.
I'd be like, all right.
I mean, I might try and say a few things about it, but if that's what she wants to do, then that's what we're going to do.
Because she's so magnificent, wherever she goes, that's where I'll be.
And I think she feels the same way about me.
And we're kind of right, if I do say so myself.
So you're like, well, what if she doesn't want to get on my program?
What if she doesn't want to follow my plan?
What if she just doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mom?
No!
That is a weak, weak bargaining position.
You become so magnificent she cannot conceive of life with anyone else, and then she'll get on your program.
She'll follow you wherever you go, and you can follow her wherever she goes, because you just want to be together.
So you'd be so magnificent that she can't stand leaving you to go to work, and you say, hey, you know what?
We could make some mini-me's, you could stay home with them, and I could be home as much as possible.
And that would please me enormously.
And you're so magnificent that she wants to please you, and you're so magnificent... Sorry, and she's so magnificent that you want to please her?
And that's how you negotiate.
You don't negotiate from a position of crossing your fingers!
But get the job!
I hope I... I hope I work out!
I hope this is gonna be okay!
No!
You have to be so magnificent...
That people will pay any price or bear any burden just to be around you.
And it's mutual, you understand.
So you don't see if a woman wants to have babies.
You become so magnificent that she can't stand to not be full of your seed.
You be a hero so she will give birth to heroes.
You'll be beyond compare so that she's thrilled to be fertilized by your godlike gametes.
You want supersonic intergalactic kryptonite tadpole sperm that she wants to drink up.
She wants to be like a reverse piñata, all your sperm ball candy coming off the ground and into her belly.
That she cannot wait to bring forth your combined magnificent seed to the planet as a whole.
Be so great that she can think of nothing else.
Wants to be with no one else.
And your word becomes gospel to her because you are a god to her as she is a goddess to you.
You inspire her into
Agreeing with you.
You don't just cross your fingers.
Well, what if she prefers work that's passive and it's lazy and it is a denial of your absolute magnificent potential as a human being.
And I say this as someone who started off small myself and have really, really, really worked to increase and improve what I have to offer.
Be so great that she
Thirsts to give you babies.
That she thirsts to be your support system.
That she yearns and burns and lives and breathes for your mutual glory and gain.
She's hypnotized by your magnificence.
I know it's a tall order, but my God,
What better goal to aim at than to be so great that people and women and this woman in particular will be so taken by who you are and how you are that the idea of wrangling PowerPoints for the next 40 years under flickering fluorescent lights for a half-dead brain-dead boss
Compared to bringing forth your combined progeny will be absolutely a ridiculous proposition.
Of course she's going to want to stay home and have and raise your babies.
Because that will be the greatest thing that she can do.
Because you're the greatest guy she can be with.
Be charming, be funny, be out there, be exaggerated if you have to.
Challenge her, excite her, confront her, inspire her as she inspires you because she's already inspiring you.
Be a leader.
Be a leader.
Do you think that Napoleon was raging forward in Russia saying, gee, well, maybe Russia's not the best example.
Let's pick one where he won.
Do you think that Caesar was like, oh, but what if the people don't want to follow me?
And what if they're not inspired by me?
It's like, be so inspiring, they follow you.
Be so inspiring.
That she'll beg to quit?
To be your wife and raise your children?
Stop being passive, my God!
Stop being passive!
Stop crossing your fingers stride!
Be magnificent, screw up magnificently if you have to and you will, as Lord knows I have.
Be huge, magnificent,
Full of success and catastrophe to the point where she's like, there's no better show on this green earth than by your side striding through heaven and hell.
However, that constitutes a manifest in your world.
Sweep her off her feet.
That's what women want.
Please.
Sweep her off her feet.
Be the guy that every other guy looks like an NPC compared to.
And we all have that within us.
We all have that within us, my friends.
Be that guy that she can't take her eyes off.
Be that guy that no other guy can compare to.
You know, pair bonding is when there's no one else.
There's no one else.
You can't imagine or create or fashion or forge anyone better.
Be so thoroughly yourself and so thoroughly engaged with the world and biting deep on the bone marrow of the planet.
For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, but the ups and the downs, the riches and the poverty.
Just be fully manifested in your own being, in your own capacities.
Be not afraid, be not falling back, be not veiled.
Be not cowering, be not crossing your fingers like a mouse under a bush hoping the dinosaurs don't tread on your squishy ass.
Be out there, grab something by the balls, yourself, hopefully.
And be a little chaotic.
Be magnificent in your successes and your failures.
Drink deep.
Pee long.
Shit wide.
And stride tall.
To the point where she looks at other men and can't quite put them in the same category as you.
I mean, I guess technically they're men, but they're not.
A man!
Take some risks.
Expand your horizons.
Be willing to fall and fail.
You can't create anything in this life worth taking seriously if you're terrified of being laughed at.
You can't make anyone laugh deeply unless you're willing to offend.
And you sure as hell can't change the world without pissing off a lot of people.
And you are not going to get any points in the afterlife for hoarding and crushing who you are for the sake of conformity.
And what if people don't approve?
And what if they don't like it?
And what if they make fun of me?
And what if they mock me?
And what if they deplatform me?
And what if they take 85% of my income?
So what?
Make more!
Find another way!
Trust yourself!
Trust your energy!
Trust the universe!
Trust God!
Trust... your instincts.
We as a species got down to 10,000 people.
Alone, 10,000 people around the last Ice Age, we fought our way back to 8 billion.
You don't think you have that within you that can overcome almost any adversity?
Let everyone else be the cowards, let everyone else cower.
Maybe you can be that example that has other people feel more courageous.
But you can become irreplaceable.
To a woman, by being so deeply who you are and unafraid of your own potential, that she looks at other men as pale shadows left by your stiff-spined resolution.
Don't wait to see if she likes you.
Love the glory of yourself and see if she's wise enough to agree.
Love the glory of yourself and see if she is wise enough to agree.
Or if she just wants to live a pretty little shapeless, unformed, cowering at the bottom of the bush life.
Be big, be large, make mistakes, stand tall, get knocked down, get up again, and laugh.
Death is coming either way.
Living small ain't gonna save you from death.
It just makes every day a little bit more like dying.
Oh, but what if, what if she, what if she chooses work over me?
Well, she will.
I would.
As opposed to, I'm gonna be so great, she won't even think twice about quitting.
My God, don't you want people to inspire you?
Well, how about you get off your ass and go out there and inspire some people?
Shake off the cobwebs of the everyday drip-drip of soul-decaying propaganda and your worthless, privileged, nothing, bad, guilty,
Incorrect.
Inappropriate.
Go be inappropriate.
Go be inappropriate.
To have your mighty soul, your balls, lashed by the little petty dental floss whips of the HR brigade.
I'm not saying go out and do anything wrong or mean or nasty or anything like that.
Not saying any of that.
I'm not saying go be rude or offensive for no purpose.
But just be honest and be yourself.
Live large.
Even if the largest thing that you can summon in a claustrophobic workplace is just a look of deep, deep scorn.
You don't have to say a thing to be as powerful as the sun.
But wouldn't you like to have one day where you're not afraid, one day where you're not nervous, one day where you accept that the depth of life is contained in our capacity to accept the rejection of the small minded.
Oh no, a petty person doesn't like me.
Oh no!
A conformist finds me uncomfortable.
Oh no!
A person with no soul doesn't like it when I blaze forth with any kind of instinctual passion.
Oh no!
People with no mind mind me.
It's mind over matter, right?
If you have no mind, it doesn't matter.
Oh, no.
The zombies don't like the sounds of me thinking.
Oh, no.
The self-silenced don't like the passion of my opera.
Oh, no.
The eternal crushers don't like that I have escaped their slippery squid fingers.
What if she doesn't want to give up work if we got serious?
That is so far from leadership and so far from inspiring that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Right?
I'm going to cross my fingers and hope that she wants to have my children but she might want to work more.
I can't really guarantee.
Be so fiery that her loins light up!
Be so feral in your consumption of life that she gets baby rabies from the spittle flying from your nipples!
My god!
Be exciting!
Be a little dangerous!
Be a little incorrect!
Why would she choose you if you're copy-pasting everyone else's cowardice?
What's that old meme?
It's really not hard to get a man to fall in love with you.
Just put on a sundress and say, you don't trust the government.
Everything that you love to consume is heightened.
Song is heightened speech.
Poetry is heightened language.
Marvel movies are heightened heroism.
Everything you love to consume is heightened and all of the things that you love to consume that are heightened are there to inspire you, not to make you feel small in comparison.
Although the Marvel movies do a great job of making you feel small in comparison.
All heroism that is not based on willpower strips you of your capacity for the heroic.
Well, I wasn't born on Krypton.
I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider.
I'm not Batman.
I can't run really fast or burst into flame.
At least, not more than once.
So the superhero movies are all there to strip you of your capacity for heroism by saying the only path to heroism is through magic which you won't ever possess.
The Marvel movies, the superhero movies, the DC Comics movies are there to make you absolutely wallow in a bottomless pit of pure fucking slavery.
Those movies are to say that heroism is a form of magic that you will never possess.
They're not there to inspire you.
They're there to enslave you by saying you'll never be magic.
And courage is magic.
Courage isn't for standing up for what you know to be true and pushing back against the relentless, invasive insanity of this mad world.
No, no, no.
You see, courage is for throwing giant car robots into massive buildings.
Yeah, you'll be doing that, I'm sure, at some point in your life.
So this is here to help prepare you for that!
It is to get you to observe courage and heroism from the infinite distance of degradation.
To be a little inspiring.
You can start off small.
I'm not saying you go and tear your shirt off at the next corporate meeting, although I'm sure that would be memorable.
You can start off small.
But be different from the average.
If you want to be chosen, you can't be like everyone else.
Everyone else who's, oh well, but whatever.
I'm just going to sit there and hope that she decides to do things that I want and I'm going to cross my fingers and it's her decision.
It's like, oh my God.
Oh my God.
Do you think that's how we survived saber-toothed tigers and woolly mammoths, for God's sake?
You want to be loved?
Then you have to be yourself.
You want to be loved?
You have to be different.
You want someone to choose you?
You can't be like every other fucking gumball in the machine.
Same color, same shape, same size.
Oh, I didn't want this yellow gumball, I wanted that yellow gumball!
How the fuck is anyone supposed to choose you if you don't even choose yourself?
How the fuck is anyone supposed to value you if you don't value yourself?
How is anyone gonna love you if you don't love yourself?
And loving yourself is not an act of will.
Self-love.
Outside of baby oil and a fur glove.
Self-love.
is our involuntary response to our personal virtues.
You want to love yourself, you want to respect yourself, be fucking good.
Or prepare yourself to be somebody's bullshit consolation prize in the decaying orbit of infinite loneliness that strikes people post-40.
Well, there's just the two of us left.
I guess we'll make do with each other.
Okay.
We'll be good friends.
It'll be a situation ship that winds you down like inverted smoke from a volcano into the heart of nothing.
That is the end of life.
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Pick me!
Why?
Why should anyone pick you?
Why should anyone pick me?
I mean, you're here tonight because you're hearing things here that aren't anywhere else.
I'm not just, uh, you know, uh, Tim Walz's family has churned on him, and Trump said something silly, and Biden went back on vacation as he'd done for 35% of his pregnancy, and my gosh, turns out that the Commander-in-Chief is
Half-retarded mentally, and nothing seems to be changing.
Oh, and didn't you know Kamala Harris was very unpopular?
She was like the most unpopular politician a couple of weeks ago, and now she's the most popular politician.
The international order seems to be quite corrupt and based upon sexual blackmail.
The grinding sameness of the NPCs of both the left and the right are a horde you must escape from.
Through radical individualism and a commitment to universal values, that is empirical, not imagined.
Well, I've been listening to your podcast.
That means about as much to me as saying to a nutrition author, well, I've been reading your diet book.
Well, that's nice.
Changed your diet?
Well, no, but I've been reading your diet books for five years now.
Any diet change?
Well, no.
Then stop reading my diet books because you're discrediting both of us.
If you're not doing philosophy, please, please stop watching me.
Stop listening.
If you're not doing it in the world, being honest, taking a stand, pushing back against craziness, if you're not doing it, stop watching it.
You know, if some guy's got a great diet book and you keep telling everyone how you've been reading it for five years and you're 400 pounds, you're not doing that guy any favors.
You're actually an advertisement to the opposite.
If you're not doing philosophy, stop watching.
Take a break from watching.
Take a break from listening.
Like, I mean, donate before you leave if you like, but take a break from watching.
Take a break from listening because you need to go out and do.
You need to go out and do.
You need to stop doing warm-ups and exercises and you need to actually start doing it.
And you're not doing it by crossing your fingers and hoping the hottie in the next cubicle might, just might, choose you and kids over a career.
If you can't win against a fucking PowerPoint, you shouldn't win at all.
If you can't lure her out of a cubicle into your bedroom with a crib next door and a ring on her finger, if you can't beat
A fluorescent office?
With your magnificence?
I'll tell her to choose the office, sure!
Jobs suck!
Most people don't have careers, they just have jobs.
Just bullshit, clock in, clock out, goes nowhere, nothing burgers.
You can't win against that!
How am I going to possibly convince a woman to leave a boring job
Under fluorescent lights, squinting at a cubicle for the next 14 years.
I can't possibly compete with that!
How the fuck is she supposed to choose you if you don't feel you can compete against Microsoft Office?
I mean, she could get a new keyboard and a more comfortable chair.
Be so good in bed!
She can't imagine going back to work.
Excel in bed!
With romance, with love, with passion, with desire!
Excel in love!
That beats Excel on the screen!
How can you be so passive?
Ow!
Ow, ow!
Oh god, it's killing me!
Oh my gosh.
Go lift weights till your arms burn.
Go diet until your ass buckles and goes inward.
I don't know, whatever.
Women want to be inspired.
Loved.
Gift them orgasms so good that every one of their toes turns into a whole bag full of Oxford commas.
I don't know.
Something.
Something.
Be so witty that they have trouble breathing from laughter.
Be so wise and deep that they realize that their eyes should be gazing upon the deep pools of your radiant wisdom from here until eternity closes their face off.
Give her your power and a point to her life and you can't lose against PowerPoint.
So she dreams about you.
She daydreams about you.
She fantasizes about you.
She undresses you in her mind, body, soul, thoughts, everything.
Be that.
Be that.
And if that can't win you the woman, the woman is not worth winning.
