All Episodes
Previous Next
Aug. 26, 2024 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:27:05
STOP FIGHTING ABOUT HOUSEWORK!
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Good evening, good evening, everybody.
Welcome, welcome to your 230824 Friday Night Live.
Now, I have had... Do it.
Do it.
I'm not ranting for a buck fifty.
Do it.
A slight instigation for a rant.
Now, you know I have virtually endless, bottomless, intergalactic patience with human stupidity.
But I really feel...
I've reached my cap.
I am full.
My cup runneth over with black acid green belly of the dragon bile at the near infinity of human retardation.
I think I put up a pretty good front, wouldn't you say?
I think it's all fairly believable and fairly credible.
That I'm like, oh, love the world, want to bring philosophy, my lovely fellow bald bipeds, let us reason together, saith the staff?
I think I keep things fairly peppy, fairly positive, fairly friendly, and I'm afraid today the facade will crumble.
It will crumble, but only for a moment.
You're here to catch it live.
The crack in the armor, you will see the soft gooey vitriol underneath, and then it will seal up again, and I shall be doth peppy and positive once more.
But tonight, and tonight only, we are gonna have a little bit of bitterness.
Is that okay?
Hit me with a Y or a B if a little bit of bitterness is okay.
I like to think I'm friendly to all of my moods.
I like to think I'm friendly to all of my moods.
And bitterness?
Well, not exactly a mood.
I'm feeling it tonight.
I am feeling it tonight.
This is really, really something.
So I'm just going to paraphrase one of the biggest tweets of the last couple of days.
And the tweet goes something like this.
You may have had a conversation like this or two over the course of your mortal existence.
Thank you for the tip!
But I will tell you.
I will tell you what is going on.
So the tweet, the instigating tweet, goes something like this.
Hey, ladies!
If there's something that needs to be done around the house, Feel free to tell us!
We're absolutely happy to help Saith, the Testicularly Enhanced.
We're so super keen to help you, ladies, that all you have to do is just tell us and we're in, we're done, we're doing it, man, we are all over that.
Just... let us know.
To which, this is akin to pulling a grenade on two estrogen testicles made of hand grenades, because then what happened?
Loooooo, flying through the air!
You've got Sarah Connor at the gates!
What is it, that sierra conna melting on the chain link feng shen terminator 2 and it's like
the average mosquito being hit with a left-wing person's 16 boosters and 22 antidepressants?
So apparently the ladies, in their delightfully depthy reason, decided to grace this particular request for
being pointed in the right direction With my God!
Can you not open your eyes and see what needs to be done?
My God!
The laundry hamper is full, the garbage is full, the dishes need to be done, there's stickiness on the floor to the point where it feels like you're on some velcro space station from a Stanley Kubrick movie!
How can you not see what needs to be done?
How is it possible that a man can, like a blindfolded beholder, bounce around helium
balloon style through a house and not notice all the things that need to be done?
No!
And, of course, then a number of women were like, well, I only do my thing.
I wash my dishes.
I do my laundry.
I do my thing.
You can do your thing.
I'm going to do my thing.
Why is it that women have to take care of the household?
Why is it that I have to remember the doctor's appointments?
Why is it that I have to remember when the kids need to see the dentist?
Why is it that I have to do the laundry?
Why is it on me?
Me?
Me!
Waaah!
Cleavage shaking commences- Actually, that's kinda true for me too, but that's a story
for another time.
I know I am, but what do you- It's like two kids in the back seat of a car.
Oh, don't put your finger over the line.
I didn't put my finger, just my fingertip.
Oh my god.
If pettiness were an Olympic sport, 98% of humanity would get solid fucking gold.
It's wild.
Look, I'm gonna do my laundry.
You do your laundry.
I'm not your mother.
That's the sound of my soul leaving my body.
And hold on to the dream!
Oh my gosh.
The level at which humanity operates.
We have this god universe granted four pounds of genius wetware between the ears and what do we do with it?
I know I am, but none of you.
Oh.
Roses are red and violets are blue.
What you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
Petty, petty, petty, petty, petty!
I'm going to vacuum my side of the carpet.
You do your side.
It's got to be equal.
Hit me with a why if you've ever had anything like this in your mind and in your life.
Have you been witness to anything like this?
Must be a real young guy to think asking that was a good idea.
Yeah, hope he learned a lesson.
Oh, the type to wash only their dishes and leave a dirty cup or plate so petty.
Alright, let's get to a couple of your comments before I uncork the rant bot.
Good evening, good evening, and welcome.
Welcome tonight.
All right, I got your question about politics.
I will get to it.
I semi-promise.
Whoa.
I will get to that.
Love the show.
Thank you.
Appreciate that.
All right.
Steph, I saw that post about tattoos and how you called it.
My theory is that you're not only actually bald, but rather your head is a crystal ball.
There is some thunderous bowling as my head spins down the lane.
But yeah, I would think 15 years I got dragged through a mountain of termite shit because I happened to point out that tattoos were a mark of mental dysfunction and emotional immaturity.
And the data is out now and it's all completely true.
Greetings from Northeast Pennsylvania.
Well, thank God, because I can't stand Southwest Pennsylvania, but you, my friend, are absolutely welcome.
I'm just kidding.
I don't have any particular opinions about either.
Pennsylvania?
Hey, isn't that where Dracula's from?
I needed thank you for your timing on the dangers of helping video since I just cut ties with a friend I've had for 30 years.
Except you didn't I saw Jared Taylor speaking Japanese in a 2018 interview
Pretty funny.
That dude is pretty fit, too.
The man can do some pull-ups.
Let's not doubt that.
Donated $30 at FDR to give you the juice!
Ah, the juice question.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
What has you bitter at the moment?
I'm sorry, did you... Did you not join the beginning and you would like to be recycled?
Hello from Sweden!
Steph, love the meatballs.
Indifferent to the furniture.
Been listening to you for many years and really appreciate what you do.
Some of your knowledge has worked itself into my thick skull.
Hey, if it's any consolation, it took philosophy about 20 years to work its way into my thick skull.
I'm just trying to help everybody jump the queue, so to speak.
I've experienced a lot of pointless bickering and sadly played my part as well.
So tiring, those relationships.
You've never had something like that?
Good, good, good.
It's like that movie, The Breakup.
My sister's been through a lot.
Of dick.
Vince Vaughn's actually pretty funny.
Alright, um... My roommate at college wiped the dust only of his side of the furniture.
Me and my wife had this with each other.
We have worked hard to change that behavior.
It's rare someone acts petty like that around me.
Ah, sorry Simph, I get it.
So, apparently, apparently, apparently, women feel very hard done by, by not having to be, I don't know, oil drillers, gold panners, sewage workers, construction workers.
What are other things?
Women, it's just very, very hard, you see.
Very, very hard for women that they don't get drafted.
Very, very tough for women that men chase them all over Hell's Green Acre.
Very tough for women!
That men buy them just about everything their little hearts desire when they're young and attractive.
Just very, very tough on women.
They are just... It's so hard, man.
It's just... You just don't know how hard it is to be a woman.
What was that subversive movie, The Rose?
I know all about the blues, because I'm a woman.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, when women have their stuff about their lives, it's tough.
But okay, ladies, let me sort of explain it to you because I absolutely love women as a whole.
I really do.
I live with two wonderful females.
I have been influenced by many great female thinkers and writers and intellectuals and philosophers.
Love the ladies.
So this is not for a lot of y'all, but it's for some.
Gonna break something down for you.
Someone has to be in charge of the household.
It's not because of unfairness.
It's because of basic efficiency.
So let me lay down some facts on you.
Maybe you've only lived alone.
Maybe you've only ever need to feed your cat or goldfish.
Let me lay it down for you.
So, if you have husband, wife, three kids.
Right?
Snap, crackle and pop.
Husband and wife and three kids.
So, there's a huge amount of work.
Let's just talk about groceries.
Let's just talk about groceries.
Knowing what you have, knowing what you're running low on, knowing what people like to eat, knowing what's on sale, knowing what's available, knowing what's cheaper, knowing what's best, knowing what's worth cutting corners on and what's not worth cutting corners on, is a supply chain issue in the household!
My wife knows where things are in the fridge and basement.
I didn't even know we had.
Apparently we have a basement.
Oh actually no, I know that we have a basement because sometimes I just need to go down there and think about what I've done.
Actually it's kind of true, that's philosophy.
So, my wife has, she juggles jugglers who themselves are juggling jugglers.
And she does it in a pleasantly jiggly fashion.
So, she's got all these balls in the air.
Oh, we're low on this, and Izzy likes that, and this is coming in, this is not in season yet, this is going to be at its freshest now, and this, that, and the other.
She knows the giant flow.
If you've ever seen the map of all the tributaries of the Mississippi River, that's my wife managing the comings and goings of the household.
Now, if I dare to step in and try to help her, she turns Well, frankly, evil.
I mean, it's for a good cause, so you can't say it's 100% evil, but it's just like, honey, can I help?
She's very pleasant and an absolutely lovely person, but she goes from a drugged out, happy, joy-joy Eowyn to golem on cocaine with a kidney stone.
If I do try to help, hey, I'm going to be in town.
Is there anything I'm...
...
So that's a no?
Yes, that is in fact a no.
Bye for now.
See, if you want to know what that's like if you're a single guy, and you want to know what that's like, I want you to imagine an expert juggler who's got, you know, three chainsaws, one cow, a running lawnmower, and a couple of bladed knives, and a Pikachu in the air, flying around.
And you're like, hey, I'd love to step in and help!
And they're like, back off!
I'm about to die if you try to help.
It's a lovely singing voice.
Thank you.
Awww.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ahhh.
So, this would be the equivalent of my wife saying, Oh, um,
I decided to reformat your computers to speed them up.
I mean, they seem to be a lot faster now.
What a soundless tinnitus noise.
From here to eternity.
I'm sure men have that thing.
I reorganized your cables!
Nooooooooooooooo! I'll never find anything ever again! I mean, it's true that I couldn't find anything before, but
now you've given me an excuse and I—gahh!
I threw out some cables because they were dusty— Noooo! What if I ever want to get those Iomega parallel
port Zip drives from 1982 back up and run?
Someday I'm gonna open those 5¼-inch floppy disks, I promise you!
Ugh!
I decided to organize your tools. I'll be back.
I mean, honestly, they were just lying in a pretty haphazard fashion, so I decided to organize your tools.
Really.
Why don't you just take me to the vet and cut my balls off?
You know, that project you've been working on for a while, in the garage, you know, the one with the I decided to launder your SD cards!
get some of the, I don't know, some stuff. It had just been lying there for a while
so I just I packed it all up nicely and I tied some twine around it
and it's there if you want it but it just was kind of in the way a little bit
so it's all been tidied away for you. Except you know my wife actually gets
things done unlike my projects.
I decided to launder your SD cards because they looked dirty.
Oh gosh.
Oh gosh.
Bye.
Bye.
you you
So someone's got to be in charge of this stuff.
Apparently, I don't know if you knew this, but it seems to be a fact known only to the estrogenally enhanced members of the species, but apparently you do different things for different clothes in the laundry.
Apparently if you do this towels actually bend.
Did you know that?
Like they're not just actually like sheets of ice that you use.
You don't really dry yourself you just scrape the water off and leave your skin raw.
Apparently there's magic to underpants.
I'm not talking the Mormon kind.
There's magic to the point where if I do my laundry I can build forts out of my underpants and I walk around until my legs fall off from excessive chafing.
However, my wife adds magic female estrogen juice and basically I'm sitting in duck down at the moment.
Wait, no, so I'm not actually a duck, but I'm sitting on a cloud.
I walk on a cloud.
It's like I'm going commando, except lighter.
If angels sung high notes of glorious praise to God, their breath would be holding my nether regions up, much like my wife's wonderful anti-gravity, can't even feel them, amazing underpants.
It's incredible.
When I used to do my own laundry, all of my underpants turned grey, became somewhat sentient, and attempted to decapitate me whenever I ran, because they'd ride up so high that it would be pretty much like a Fruit of the Loom guillotine for my jugular.
So, she does this amazing stuff.
She knows what's going on.
Apparently, there's also things called repetitive tasks.
Now, I myself am not particularly good with repetitive tasks, because Even thinking about them is too boring to come up with an explanation.
So I'm not really good at them.
But my wife has pretty much an infinite series of highly, highly varied sand timers.
You know, those little hourglass timers?
She turned them over like egg timers.
Used to have those when I was a kid.
And half of her, if you've listened to the song Time, From the album Dark Side of the Moon, you know, when you're a teenager and you're like, I'm going to put on some mellow songs, man.
I'm going to sit on the couch.
I'm just going to listen to some TuneAge on my headphones, man.
And then it's like, take it away.
And then like all of these six million clocks go off and wake the shit out of you.
And your soul leaves your body and looks back with great envy at your whitening corpse.
Well, that's my wife's brain.
She has an enormous amount of alarm clocks going off.
It's just wild to see.
But apparently, it's been four months and four seconds since we were at the dentist, so you gotta go back.
She's on a four-month schedule.
I'm on a three-month schedule.
She keeps all of this running.
Today we were gonna head out and I'm like, Oh, I have a private call.
My wife would never have forgotten that.
Never in a million years.
I don't usually forget it, but I just forgot it.
So I did a private paid call this afternoon, which was actually really wild.
Just amazing.
Freedomain.com slash call.
You should, it's a whole different experience.
I'm telling you, it is a radically different experience doing a private call.
I just wanted to sort of mention that.
It's not a big ad or anything.
Because the guy was like, well, I know you don't tell people what to do.
It's like, I do want private calls.
You want a plan of action?
I'll tell you what to do on a private call.
I just don't want to do it on a public call.
So my wife's just got all these alarms going off.
Right?
She knows everything about everything.
And offering to help It's akin to if you've got a smoothie that you're going to make and you put all the fruit and milk and stuff and whey powder and creatine or whatever you're putting in there, you put all of that in your blender, right?
And then you hit, brrrr, you hit frappe, right?
And the blender just starts doing its thing.
It's kind of akin to reaching into the blender to help the blades.
Doesn't help the blades, but you're going to lose a hand.
And that's very much what it's like trying to help my wife.
I really, really want to help her.
She has relegated me to getting her three o'clock coffee, which I usually remember out of guilt and obligation.
I will get her her three o'clock coffee.
But I don't know what goes on.
There's a giant whirlwind.
So, for instance, apparently there's this thing called mail that you're supposed to open.
I mean, I remember a friend of mine, after he got married, his wife was looking for something in the bedroom and just pulled out in the drawer, there was just a bunch of mail.
And she's like, this is your mail?
Why isn't it opened?
He's like, oh yeah, I just tossed it in there.
To which, her soul left her body and went back to her pre-married state.
Because she's like, she couldn't comprehend it.
You got mail?
I just, you know, I tossed it in there.
I'll get to it.
I mean, if it's really important, people will call.
It's like, yes!
They might call or they might just have you arrested because you didn't do something that you were supposed to.
So she pulled out and she said it was like 200 pieces of mail that he hadn't opened in the last couple of months.
Some of it was actually quite important.
But there is this thing called mail.
It needs to be opened and it seems that on relatively Common or often basis.
Stuff needs to be done.
Based upon the contents of the mail.
Now you'd think that it would be a man's job to open the mail, what with it being a homonym and all, but apparently this is just she just diverts it.
I think I get mail.
Occasionally I have to sign things.
I'm pretty sure it's been my soul, one of my kidneys, and Isabella's firstborn.
But apparently there is mail.
I don't really see it but occasionally I have to sign stuff.
There are people who need to look at you naked in the world.
Bye.
I'm not just talking about Stefan's OnlyFans, but there are people who need to see you naked in the world, particularly when you get over 40.
They want to look at you from every angle and just drink in the beluga man meat of your middle-aged excellence.
Those people are called dermatologists, and particularly as a blue-eyed, formerly blonde, fair-skinned person, it's quite important that dermatologists do unholy things to me with rubber gloves.
Actually, it does involve holes apparently.
So, I need to turn around under fluorescent lights.
I thought there'd be more disco lights.
I thought I might get a pole or something like that.
Maybe a tool belt to gyrate around.
Something like that.
Apparently, when they ask you to undress, you're not supposed to belt into a rousing rendition of You Can Leave Your Hat On and Do a Bump and Grind.
But, again, she seems to know this in some mysterious fashion as well.
So, who should deal with these things?
Well, if you both try and deal with them, you will destroy each other.
Two people trying to work on the same home tasks is like matter and antimatter colliding, or Hall and Oates being in the same room apparently these days, as they were before.
So you just can't.
Someone's gonna need to do it.
It's gonna need to be efficient.
And for it to be efficient, both people can't be doing it.
If I notice that I am low on milk, God himself cannot help me if I decide to come home with milk.
I cannot come home with milk because my wife is dealing with it and we can't have too much milk.
And there's a backup milk somewhere.
We might have 19 cows.
I don't know.
I shouldn't know.
I can't know.
I mustn't know.
I must just trust the supply chain that is short and enormously cute.
I must trust it.
It is a trust exercise I'm still working on after 22 years.
I will reach for things and there will be a shimmer in the space-time continuum and they will spawn into existence when I reach for them.
Amazing.
Amazing.
My wife suggested I switch from peanut butter to almond butter for health reasons.
I'm like, fine.
And then she got me some almond butter that apparently is a gelatinous cube with a few nuts at the bottom.
You know, like my abdomen.
Gelatinous cube with a few nuts at the bottom.
And I mentioned that it was kind of oily And then it despawned and what respawned was a less oily almond butter.
And she keeps her secrets.
She is like the Rosetta Stone.
She's like hieroglyphics before the Rosetta Stone.
I'm like, did this change?
You didn't like the other one.
Where did it go?
There's no answer.
Elsewhere.
Which indicates to me that if I get too oily, I will go to the back rooms too.
So I try not to get too oily.
Seems very, very important.
So, it is amazing.
Before I can mention that I'm low on face cream, a new face cream has shimmered and appeared.
The amount of, and particularly when you're homeschooling and you've got classes and you've got social life and you've got this, that and the other, It's amazing.
It is an amazing feat to keep a household running.
And if I try to interfere, I am viewed as a marathon runner about to win a gold medal when I tell him I can help him move his legs by grabbing his ankles and pumping my arms.
He will kick me to keep me away from his gold.
And he would be right to do so.
I will not help.
It would be like getting in front of Marlon Brando when he's doing that incredible speech to his dead wife in The Last Tango in Paris and getting in front and saying, I can help you with this speech, Marlon!
Please, shut up, back off, and go away.
Grabbing the mic from Freddie Mercury at Live Aid saying, Well, yes, but I've done some karaoke.
I'm sure I can belt it out just fine.
I mean, I've heard you have a bit of a sore throat.
There are almost no more terrifying words to a wife than let me help.
A rational wife, because she's got all the balls in the air, she's juggling things like crazy, she knows the incredible Mississippi tributary flow of everything that needs to be done, and if anyone else tries to help, it's a complete ass-fracking catastrophe.
All the house of cards come crashing down.
It would be like me booting into my daughter's Minecraft server It's just not wise.
It would be like the average person coming in to help me in a philosophy show.
It's just not the way that things should go.
So the reason why women run the household is that women are infinitely better at running households and men are generally infinitely better at making money.
The division of labor means it's one thing if you're just two single people LARPing as a married couple by being roommates with squishy bits banging together and making the beast with two backs from time to time but it's quite another thing if you actually have a very complicated life involving corporations, taxes, accountants,
governments, you have assessments, your bank statements, visa statements
that need to be checked. Do you know, do you know, apparently
it is theoretically and in fact I know this for a fact practically possible
to check your banking and visa statements to make sure all of the
purchases are legit.
Mind Blown.
Like a Mia Khalifa hurricane might blown.
I just read about her.
Shouldn't she retire or something like that?
Was she a adult star or something like that?
So, that's the reality.
Someone's got to do it and it's way more efficient.
Way more efficient.
She's great at it.
I can't help her.
I can't.
I cannot help her.
Anything I do, that will help.
I can't remember the last time I bought something I thought we needed, and it turned out that we actually needed it.
I mean, every now and then I'll try.
I'm helpening!
Finger up the nose.
I'm helpening!
Well I noticed we were low on coffee filters so while I was out I picked up some coffee filters.
She's like, she opens a drawer and apparently there's a bag of holding and another drawer and inside that other drawer she can reach into another dimension and pull out a practical infinity of coffee filters.
Now, if there's one thing she wants to make sure I have enough of, it's caffeine.
Because if I don't, have enough.
Well, let's just say we don't want to revisit Black Friday from 2006.
So, I've actually thought we were low on coffee filters.
I've been out with Izzy and I've picked up some coffee filters expecting to get a pat on the head.
A gold star and an attaboy!
And then my wife will open a drawer and she will say, Here are the last three boxes of coffee filters you picked up because you thought we were low on coffee filters.
Repeat after me.
Do not help.
Helping is not helping.
I know you want to.
I know you want to.
Please don't.
Because the result of you helping is we have now cornered the North American market in coffee filters.
We own them all.
So the next time you think that you're low on coffee filters, just trust that we're not.
Apparently, another thing that's quite interesting, apparently You can replace toothbrushes.
Did you know this?
This was like a wild thing for me.
You can replace toothbrushes.
I mean, my toothbrush goes from fairly nice, because I get it from the dentist, to something that looks like I've put 40,000 waltz through a tiny chia pet.
But apparently these things can be replaced and shockingly you don't actually have to replace them by just going to the dentist and hoping for more.
She replaces them before in the past my toothbrush would get so exploded by brushing my teeth and I could see the tooth bristles going up underneath my eyeballs.
But you can replace these things and it's really nice.
It's really nice.
Do you know also, this is another wild thing that I've learned, you can also, so you're looking at something in the grocery store, right?
And it's food.
It's not, it's food in a box or a can or something like that.
So apparently there's this little text on the side that has something to do with what's in it.
Did you know this?
I mean, for me it's like, well, what's in it?
There's fruit.
And there's loops.
Right?
Because it says fruit on the front and it says loops.
So that's what's in it.
But apparently you can turn the box to the side and if when you read the ingredients aloud you summon Beelzebub to rip out your spleen, apparently that's not a good thing to buy.
My wife will read ingredients.
Out come the glasses and all of the foul quasi-latin Tourette's syndrome, spastic mouth, polysyllabic summoning glyphs get blown back onto the shelf and we go back to the outside of the aisle.
I'm not even allowed to talk to her in the grocery store because I'm just going to make suggestions that are wrong.
I have, through years of silence, I have achieved the privilege of walking less than 15 feet behind her.
We're down to 8 or 9.
I hope to get to 6 or 7 within a couple of years.
As long as I'm quiet, I push the cart, don't say anything, and stay a respectful distance from the whirlwind of healthy food gathering, I'm good.
And it works!
Division of labor, baby.
Division of labor.
That's what's key in a marriage.
And for women, if you support your husband, And if you run the household your husband will be free to do that mysterious voodoo stuff called being successful and making a lot of money.
And then what's kind of cool about that is you can buy more labor-saving devices and if you hit the pinnacle or the peak you actually might be able to get some help, some maids.
Um, my wife does not do anything like that.
She will not even remotely accept anyone like that coming into her house and telling her what to do.
For her, and I think she put it to me this way, for her having a maid would be the equivalent of me sending someone else out to buy electronics.
Okay.
There's no need to get ugly.
Not that she ever could.
So I just find it too wild when people say, well, I'm going to do my part, but not yours.
My God.
That's the akin.
Hey, let's have sex.
We'll just watch each other masturbate because we wouldn't want to overlap now, would we?
Crazy.
Thank you.
I appreciate the tip.
Oh my gosh.
Can it not be just Easy.
And productive.
And people do what they're better at.
Maybe, as a husband, you're the great guy at keeping everything organized.
Maybe that's the thing.
Doesn't have to be gender-specific or sex-specific.
Maybe, as the husband, you're the guy.
Fantastic.
Then you do it.
Mr. Pissar, my friend, I've been doing it for years.
Oh, my God.
That's not evil, Steph.
That's righteous anger coming to defend her territory.
That's right.
My good chef's knife and cast iron was put into the dishwasher once.
Roommate got a spirited lecture that night.
Yeah, as I mentioned before, there's a category of people, sorry, there's a category of things that go into the dishwasher and there's a category of things that don't go into the dishwasher and it makes zero fucking sense at all.
Not even a little bit.
Not even a little bit.
I remember trying to help at various workplaces as a teen and eventually learned what division of labor was really for.
Yeah, that's right.
So just do what you're best at and stop complaining.
Don't be afraid to have the division of labor.
Yeah.
Dermatologist appointment caught me by surprise.
It's time to get naked!
When wife you need to talk more about the value of having a wife.
Somebody says my wife is as useless as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
I hesitate to speak ill of her, but I have had it up to my eyeballs with her sloth.
The house is an absolute pigsty.
She gets angry when I tidy the house.
I tidied the guest room after my niece flew home.
Two days later my wife's clothes and magazines were strewn everywhere.
I'm embarrassed to have anyone come over.
I have even hesitated to get repairmen in to fix things because I'm ashamed of our flat.
I just want to understand why.
So, it's depression and it often has to do with, sorry, we're going from mild comedy to some dark topics.
So, what is it a friend of mine many years ago said, a woman's home is her vagina, a man's job is his penis.
A man who's unsuccessful in his career is impotent in the workplace is impotent in his success and that's like impotence in the bedroom and if a woman's home is messy it's usually because she's depressed and she grew up in a house like here's the thing this is something that Kevin Samuels would say from time to time it took me a little while to get it because I mean the man is a stone genius and it just takes a little while to catch up sometimes or was So, he would say, were you raised to be a wife?
Were you raised to be a wife?
So you talk to your wife and say, what did you learn about how to run a household from your mother?
Usually mother, right?
And if a woman, oh, my wife was working all the time and I just stayed home alone and never learned anything, never did anything, then she wasn't raised to be a wife.
Doesn't mean she can't be, but it's not going to come naturally.
It's not going to come in.
I started working with computers when I was 11 years old.
I would go in every Saturday and learn how to program and basic and machine language and all kinds of cool stuff.
And so then when it came to be a computer guy in my twenties as a software entrepreneur, I knew it because I had grown up with it.
I started doing philosophy when I was 15 years old.
Right?
That's 43, almost 43 years ago.
There's really no substitute for experience.
So she doesn't know how to do it and she's radiating depression.
I think.
I don't know.
I can't diagnose anyone.
I'm just saying that that's my thought.
Anyone else like chewing on the toothbrush from time to time, asking for a friend?
Oral fixation for the win.
I don't mean to brag, but I'm a guy and I replace my toothbrush by myself every four to five years.
Oh, gross!
Don't you get them from the dentist?
The dentists get them for free!
I use an electric toothbrush anyway, so... But apparently the head needs to be replaced.
So I asked for a little head anyway.
You understand the joke.
This is a great case for awarding specialization in the free market.
Yeah, the more complex the workflow, the less it can be shared.
So a lot of women are complaining because the man isn't doing much but there's not that much to do.
I mean the amount of housework that you have when you're just a couple versus the amount of housework that you have when you have kids.
Like a friend of mine's wife said basically her kids were like 15, her oldest kid was 15 and she said yeah basically the laundry or the dryer have been running solid for 15 years.
I'm tired boss, I'm tired.
Like that fan in your room that's been running for 12 years.
I'm tired boss, I'm tired.
Oh, just crazy.
So...
Specialization.
You cannot efficiently buy groceries for a family if two people are trying to do the job.
There's going to be way too much overlap, way too much duplication, way too much lack of knowledge.
Thanks, that explains it perfectly.
I don't know what the solution is, but it was important for me to understand.
Well, ask her what she's sad about.
Don't get mad at the symptoms, ask for the cause.
Don't get mad at the symptoms, ask for the cause.
If your wife is a slob, don't get angry at the symptoms, the slobbiness, ask for the cause.
What was it like for you growing up?
A woman Okay, so houses are messy.
Why?
Why are houses messy?
Let's do this one.
We can do this one pretty briskly, right?
Why are houses messy when you're a kid?
Why are houses messy?
What are they doing and why?
Why are the houses messy when you're a kid?
What is occurring and why?
No data.
Okay.
No dad.
No dad.
Messed up head.
No!
Houses are messy so that other kids don't want to come over and play so other people don't see how dysfunctional the household is!
The houses are messy as a kid repellent so that the parents don't have to fake being nice for too long.
It is a way of making sure that other kids don't come over, other kids don't stay, nobody wants to come over.
If you've got a beautiful house, people are like, oh lovely, let's go to your house.
It's a beautiful house.
It doesn't have to be physically beautiful, but clean and nice and all of that.
But if the house is a pigsty, people don't want to come over, so you don't have to fake being nice if you're down.
And if the parents are dysfunctional, they'll keep the house messy so that their friends'
kids don't want to come over and their kids will go to other kids' houses.
So a woman who grows up in a house that is a pigsty is growing up in an environment that
is a kid-repellent because the parents are anxious, depressed, abusive, God knows what,
and don't want other people around because it's too much.
Maybe they're socially anxious.
Maybe they themselves are depressed.
Maybe they're dysfunctional.
Maybe they're moody.
Maybe they want to wander around in their underpants, but you just need to make a messy house so that no one comes over.
It's a social repellent to have a messy house.
Right?
And look, come on, we've all had that pigpen friend, haven't we?
Even as a teenager.
I mean, I was on my own since I was 15 years old.
So we all had that one friend who's like, want to come to my place?
No, thank you.
That's fine.
I'm okay.
I really don't want to end up using a crowbar to pry the toilet seat up because it hasn't been washed in Eternity!
No, thank you.
You ever have that friend's place?
You go over there and you're thirsty and you're like, oh I don't know man, those are kind of oily glasses and even the ones in the cupboard kind of, they kind of stick.
They stick when you pull them up and they're kind of sticky and oily and you're like, I think I'll go out and Lick the rain off a rosebush instead, thanks, probably safer.
You ever have that thing?
You go over to the place place, the pigsty place, and his slovenly mom is, you want a snack?
Menthol, menthol, you want, you kids want a snack?
I'm like, nope, I'm good.
I got some hamburger helper from August.
No, honestly, appreciate it.
Try and open that fridge.
Like the old fridges with the membranes.
You hit them hard.
Can't get them open.
You open them up and there's just like rows of semi-antique mystery meat.
You know, like the Tupperware containers with no lid.
And the food's been in there so long it's shrunk and there's a big moat of horror around the food.
No, I'm good.
Thanks.
No, whereas there's other places you go.
Mom comes in, sailing, floating along like Julie Christie, and she's like, oh, would anybody love a snack?
Yeah, man, it's gonna be fantastic, fresh, good, fluffy pastry.
Oh, yeah!
I think I have something to drink around here somewhere.
No, no, honestly, I'm good.
I don't want some Ribena from 1962.
It does not age well.
Yeah, you take a sip of water and it tastes like dish soap.
Yeah, because I didn't rinse the dishes!
Oh, you got those, uh, a friend of mine's Scottish mom.
Would you like?
Hi, would you like something to eat?
Would you like?
Yeah, good food.
Good food, yeah.
And I'm like, I am kind of hungry.
But you are Scottish.
Okay.
And then you get food that comes out, and it's Hamburger Helper, but it looks like a topographic map of the entire Swiss Andes, because there's so much fucking salt on it that you've got to take a jackhammer to get through the surface layer so you can get the soft, undercooked food underneath.
Really salty, but when you get through the salt, it's also cold, oily and clammy.
And then you've got the food!
This is the problem, right?
This is the problem.
You've got the food.
What do you do with it?
What do you do with it?
Food tastes like dish soap, salt, smoky menthol fingers, and hell.
Whereas, I absolutely, completely, and totally remember.
I remember the name of the family.
Absolutely beautiful family.
You go over there.
The house is clean.
There's pop.
In a magic side room in the basement.
The basement is finished.
Everything's tidy and nice and clean.
And you just know.
They offer you a snack.
It's safe.
Tasty.
Good.
You will survive.
There will be no afterburn.
You won't regret it the next morning when whatever you ate comes at your ass in the exact same state that you put it in.
Aren't we supposed to extract some kind of nutrition?
No!
Scottish food.
You get your nutrition from vengeance.
Who's the great money that I got?
No, honestly, or if you, I had a friend of mine, gosh his name was Surdar when I was a little kid in England.
And he was Turkish.
I remember he used to say, when he'd want to turn the light off, off the light, off the light!
And I remember His family, we got along okay, I guess, and they were like, would you, do you want some snack?
I don't know what a Turkish accent is, I can't remember, but Turkish delight was a contradiction in terms, because would you like some snack?
And they gave me some hard, brittle, lemba-style sea biscuits that We're of the consistency somewhere between chipboard and lunar rocks.
And they gave me a glass of milk.
Turns out, turns out, in Turkey, they sweeten the shit out of the milk, which makes it horrible.
So I'm chewing on moon rocks and drinking milk so sweet my teeth are dissolving into my throat.
And, and, a foot falls off from diabetes that afternoon.
It really was quite something.
It's actually been sewn back on.
It's very interesting.
one of the few things in NHS did right.
So yeah, your house is messy so that people don't want to come over.
I do.
Do you have the smokers?
You have the friends whose parents are smokers?
My friend with the Scottish mom, she was like a chain smoker.
And, you know, you open the door and you gotta lean into it.
You ever do this thing?
You go over to the smoker's house, you open the door and that waft of smoke, like a bunch of wraiths or ghouls leaving The environment should open as smoke comes curling out.
Welcome to Death Flat.
And every single surface is covered either in an ashtray or ash.
And it's one thing in the summer, but it's quite another thing in winter.
Basically, I train for getting a face full of tear gas at the protests.
in Hong Kong by going to my Scottish friend's place which was like a dingy apartment and you know, you're playing for a while and then you come out and it's like, man, is it evening?
Man, it's dark.
No, it's not evening.
It's actually about 2 p.m.
but there's so much smoke that it feels like about three minutes past sunset.
The sun setting being any pink stuff in your lungs still.
And with the amount of... I think she lived on sodium and... I've been living on coffee and nicotine.
She lived on sodium and smoke.
Basically, she was a ghoul.
And I remember she had the thickest red hair and dyed it.
You know, she had those hunched old lady shoulders.
You know, I don't know what that comes from, like the dad would just hump.
She kind of shrunk and her head kind of came out of her chest.
You know, it's like the spine just kind of gave up and went full upside down Jay.
And it's like, shouldn't you be not looking out from your cleavage?
No, this is where I look.
Sorry, I lost the Scottish thing there, but I'm not an actor.
And she moved and she would like gasp a little going from like, she'd get up.
To change the channel, like you could never get the woman a remote control to save her life.
Because she needed her cardio, right?
So she'd get up to change the channel and she'd get, but she'd literally fall into her chair.
And then when she'd fall into her chair, the eddies of smoke, the circular eddies of smoke around her would be there, and the little puffs of all the dust that comes out, and I'm like, hey man, you're a great guy, but I'm afraid I'm gonna need to fuckin' survive into being my forties, so I really can't be around this asbestos queen who's exhaling enough carcinogens to kill a blue whale and give it blue balls.
So yeah, I had to bail on that, and it's like, hey, wanna come to my place?
Absolutely not.
No way, shape, or form.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind coming to your place, but I do have a little thing called mortality and a minor desire to make it into my 30s or 40s.
So, yeah, that's the way.
I'll take a smoker over a house filled with cats and crazy lady.
Ooh, cat dander.
There's nothing more fun.
You know, when the sun's hitting a certain light and you go to a messy person's house, you see the little stars, each little star taking another hour off your life.
It's nice when you can't see the shit you're breathing, right?
It's nice.
It's nice, and you go to messy people's houses, people with cats, the smokers, the hoarders, and all of that, and you look into the air and it's a constellation of shit you don't want to breathe, right?
And I would breathe through my nose, because I think, maybe the nose has filter a little bit more, but I would be short of breath in those, because the light's coming in a certain way and I'm like, I should not see that light!
Light should be invisible!
The only reason that this light is visible is the air is gonna fucking kill me.
The air is like a giant laser that's gonna scald my lungs.
And I would like, oh, can we open, can we crack a window?
No!
I don't wanna crack a window.
It's cold out here!
Yes, it's also cold in the fucking grave, so crack a window so I can breathe, you Scottish troll!
Kuh!
And there was a whole bookshelf of books I really, really wanted to read.
I really wanted to read these books!
Honestly!
There was a whole bookshelf of books I wanted to read, but I was frightened to borrow.
I didn't want to touch them.
Because they were smoky.
And covered in things.
And sticky.
And it's like, why?
Why?
Why are things sticky?
Why are things sticky?
Why, when I walk, I'm like, Just a little slow down.
Just a little slow down.
A little grab and wait and see.
Like there were these thorns in Africa when I was there.
Still there, of course, right?
The horns called, wait a minute.
And that's because you'd walk into the thorn bush, you'd be fine.
And then suddenly, wait a minute!
They were called wait a minute thorns because that's what happens.
Like the wait a minute floor.
Why?
Why does nothing feel clean?
Why are the windows cleaner?
On the outside than they are on the inside.
Help me!
Make the little sounds.
Help me!
Keep the lights dim.
I don't want to see the little sparkles of mystery air elements that are going to shorten my lifespan.
I'm sure it's iodine, cat fur, and smoke.
Okay, I'm pretty wired because I've been in Smoker's house for a while and I've got a little nicotine in my air.
You're triggered.
Yeah, sorry about that.
You're sure your floor should not resemble that of a movie theater?
Yeah, why are you buttering your floors?
Do you just, instead of spraying Lysol, do you just spray Pam directly on your floor?
That happened to my wife once.
She was supposed to spray some Lysol in the air and she sprayed Pam and then we spent the rest of the day descartifying the kitchen.
Oh, sunlight dust was just horrendous.
You enter a cat person's house and it smells of cat pee and you mention it and they're like, what smell?
Yep.
I remember, um, dating a woman who had cats and she made some comment about, um, you know, how I dressed or whatever it is.
I'm like, but your house is a, is a cat, is a cat litter box.
Like your house is a litter box.
I don't know if you're aware of this.
Your apartment is a litter box.
And you're like, hmm, can you smell that heady bouquet of atomized cat ass?
Hmm, smells like infertility.
Smells like childlessness.
Disintegrated, evaporated, injected into your nose, cat rectum.
Hmm, I think I will be not staying the night.
I want pussy, but not by breathing it up the nose.
I would be cancelled for this show even if it wasn't already cancelled.
Well, what does it matter now, right?
Somebody says, my mother was on the extreme end of the other side.
Everything was so clean you were not allowed to breathe or move until people visited.
I basically lived in a shadow home with do not touch signs, a show home with do not touch signs everywhere.
Yeah, so those are the women who are like, well, I don't know what's going to happen today, but I'll tell you what could happen.
What could happen is my mother-in-law might have bribed Architectural Digest to come and photograph my house without any warning, and it would be published and sent to all of my grade school teachers and all the girls who were mean to me in high school, and they will laugh and laugh and laugh, so clean up!
Yeah, for sure.
Oh man, the sun hitting the dust particles makes your heart stop.
Just buy an air filter with HEPA.
Yeah, I'm not sure that that's particularly polite.
And I was raised to be a smidge polite.
Love to come over!
I need to clean your air with Satan.
From Satan, I need to bring the holy water of a HEPA filter to the unholy nature of your disintegrated Scottish effluent and detritus air.
My parents' house was like that with the sunlight dust here.
Whew.
Residue can be gross.
Smells like Toxoplasmosis.
Right?
Litterbox.
The worst name for a vagina I've ever heard.
Sorry, sometimes I amuse myself a little too much on the glitterbox.
Because in England, box is a slang for vagina.
Litterbox!
Oh yeah, I went to the DMV today so someone had sat in a chair that smelled extremely bad like a fat person's sweat.
Yeah, that smell is rough.
Because there's the other thing too, it's not just the decay of the environment and the cat stuff and the smoke and the not dusting, it's also I don't like to sit in chairs where people who don't bathe too much have sat.
I feel like I'm sinking into the warm, sweaty, high school, gym, wrestling championship embrace of Jabba the Hutt.
Come into my sweaty embrace and I will imprint upon you the kind of smell that will repel women for approximately four generations, three generations, two generations, one generation, no generations, because you're not going to meet any girls getting a smell like this for the next six months!
Whenever I sit in a public chair, If I have to sit in a public chair, I just think, how many farts have you swallowed over the years?
You know, people talk about ghosts haunting where they were killed until the crime comes to light.
It's like, how many farts has your polyester soul been forced to absorb?
Lo, these last 20 years, they're in there, each and every one, each little bit of rectal juice from every fat, skinny, Intermediate person who sat here and farted their soul.
They're all down there like a little city of tiny little shit shapes that will never leave the fabric except to float up and attach themselves to my epidermis.
Seeing yellow stains on the walls and drips of yellow smoke, sludge is not a good sign.
Same with a used car.
Well, it depends.
If it's leather seats, maybe you're okay.
But if it's like... It's a Volkswagen from the late 60s.
The amount of anal sex that has been performed in this car would put A-Gay Club to shame.
What was it?
There was an old movie, um...
Well, he wanted to have sex in a really uncomfortable place.
What, the back seat of a Volkswagen?
We all float down here, Chuckie.
Yeah, it's rough, man.
It's rough.
I had a friend whose father was a smoker.
He died quite young.
And... I was in there cleaning out the house when there were painters.
And...
You know there is an infinity almost a near infinity of houses and in particular apartments and rooms in the world with a yellow coat of paint that is a little thin sedimentary layer that says here died a smoker.
Because the place was white when he moved in within a couple years the place was like homeless guy tooth yellow.
And then they paint over it.
And if you ever want to know how many smokers died in the room you're in, just take a little cross-section and every time there's a little yellow strip in that paint, that is an almost two-dimensional grave marker of a guy who coughed up half a lung and bled out on the couch.
Layer, layer, healthy, healthy, healthy, and of course the ones that are healthy are longer, and then this is a yellow line from a guy who died from smoking, and then there's some white and red.
You can find that, I think it's as reliable as parish registers.
I think.
All right.
I Hey Steph, what's the title of that call-in show with the guy who'd just been released from jail?
I remember you mentioning it a few months ago.
I don't know if that ever went down.
I had a childhood friend in foster care.
The guardians were moribundly obese and the smell is unforgettable even though the house was relatively tidy.
Claustrophobic feeling in more ways than one.
Yeah.
I mean, in particular with morbidly obese older people, it's like, I know there's places you can't wash.
I know there's places you can't reach.
So much scrubbing and cleaning needed and then a good primer.
Yeah.
You killed your lungs and the white.
The worst are houses where they were flipped and they used to be meth houses or more noticeable moldy water damaged houses and you can smell the damp.
Yeah.
My dad smokes and I hate it.
He also drinks high sugar sodas all day.
He's addicted.
Well, not for long, probably, sadly.
There's a lot of people out there who don't really want to live.
I'm not saying this is true of your dad as a whole, but obese people have special tools for cleaning themselves.
Not all of them.
And it's true sometimes for guys who work out.
Have you ever seen that video of the guys at the gym and what they do is they put a post-it note on some overly muscled guys between the shoulder blades and he can't get there, can't reach him.
I think about that stuff too.
How do you clean?
How do you clean?
And how do you know?
A lot of pockets.
A lot of pockets for sweat and bacteria to grow, right?
I mean, it's probably wrong, right?
Maybe it's wrong.
I don't know the science behind it, but I think that's one of the reasons why some people are more cautious around severely obese people is whether they may carry more bacteria because it's harder to clean and easier to sweat and there's more pockets to collect in.
I don't know if it's true or not, but that may explain why some people are more anxious
or nervous around that.
All right.
It's...
Very interesting show tonight.
Grossest show yet.
Well, sometimes you just got to purge these things from your mind, right?
I think.
I think I find that going through this kind of process as a whole, for me, generally is like, whew, I feel better afterwards because you kind of confront some of that ick that you might have.
I am one of those, a smoker with a low will to live.
Bro, call it in.
Freedomain.com slash call.
Seriously.
Right?
Seriously.
Yeah, there's a lot of people half in love with easeful death.
There's a lot of people out there they don't really want to live.
You know, like all the people who vote to say let's all let all the violent criminals out.
It's like, isn't that just kind of a death wish?
Freedomain.com slash call.
Yeah, I mean, I just view, it's like, I don't view everyone as having the same lust for life that I do or the people that I know do.
I mean, everybody I know, you know, loves life and grabs it by the neck and swings it around and does the do-si-do and, right?
We love life and we're enthusiastic and, right?
But there's a lot of people who are like, I could, you know, I'm 50-50, 51-49 I'll get through the day.
And they won't deal with the undertow that has them dragged down to death and they won't deal with that and they just kinda let the decay happen.
This to me was a very sort of important thing to understand when I was younger that not everybody has the same absolute mad lust for life and joy of existence that I do.
There's a weight that they're carrying, there's a heaviness, and of course, I've talked to a lot of people over the years in the call-in shows.
I generally try to avoid it, to be honest with you.
Like, if somebody says, I'm suicidal, I'm like, hey, you gotta call, you gotta call a helpline.
Like, I'm a podcaster, I'm not a mental health professional, of course, or anything like that, right?
But occasionally, you know, you've heard the calls to somebody, hey, surprise, by the way, by the way, and I don't want to just, like, go hang up, whatever, right?
Finish, because we're in the middle, right?
Yeah, I've got a whole premium podcast on this sort of death wish stuff, right?
Like, I remember reading this in my teens.
It was a story from Jung where he was talking about a guy he knew who was a mountaineer.
And he was an experienced mountaineer, loved to climb mountains, an older guy.
And he said, I keep dreaming about climbing a mountain until I climb beyond the mountain into the very clouds themselves and leave the world behind.
And Jung said to the guy, you got to stop planning.
You're going to kill yourself.
And it's just a dream.
And then, you know, a month or two later, the guy died.
Mountaineering, right?
I mean, here's, I mean, do you want to know the big danger?
What is the big danger?
What is the big danger?
of the undertow. What is the undertow? Where does it come from? The undertow my friends comes from
having parents who wished you dead.
Because we sure love to obey our parents and we have little choice about doing that.
And that is a really sad thing as a whole. If you have a parent
who's wished you dead or has hated you or has been indifferent to your existence
and hasn't enjoyed your company and hasn't pursued time with you and all of that.
Bye.
If you've had someone who didn't care whether you lived or hated you or wished you dead, particularly if they're a parent, You have, my friend, an undertow and you need to fight that for your very fucking life.
It's evil to do that to your children.
It's evil to do that to your children.
And you gotta reject that shit like your life depends on it because it really fucking does.
It really does.
It really does.
Somebody says, yeah, that's heavy, yeah?
Heavy, right?
Weighs you down, pulls you down.
The Origins of War and Child Abuse, yeah, freedomain.com slash books, that's Lloyd, the late Lloyd DeMoss' book.
Somebody says, I felt that undertow a lot over the years, less and less the more time I spend working on myself and
going to therapy.
Says, I'm trying to better myself but I've done some reprehensible things that are hard to live with.
might call in one day. I think I've certainly made mistakes over the course
I have been far from perfectly moral over the course of my life.
There's a redemption arc for all souls who embrace morality.
There is a redemption arc for all souls who embrace morality.
Do it now.
Freedomain.com slash call.
What if you got to lose?
You've got a world to win and virtually nothing to lose.
Freedomain.com slash call.
Just fill out the form.
We can talk.
It's free.
It's free.
Why not?
Why not?
Would an undertone also occur if one of the parents threatens abandonment?
Yeah, there's no such thing as a threat of abandonment.
There's only a death threat.
That's all there is.
There's only a death threat.
Parental threats of abandonment are death threats because children cannot survive on their own.
If you lock someone in your basement and then you threaten to not feed them, they're gonna die.
Right?
I don't feed everyone in the world.
You don't feed everyone in the world.
But if some guy locks a woman in his basement, then if he doesn't feed her, she dies.
There is no such thing as a threat of abandonment.
you There is only a death threat.
Children experience abandonment threats as death threats because they are.
Because children who are abandoned by their parents die.
They are eaten, they starve, they die of exposure, thirst, they're dead.
So there is no such thing as a threat of abandonment.
There is only a death threat.
So yeah, that would be a big undertow.
As a follow-up to my comments as someone, I do have a rough time feeling a lust for life from time to time.
I have no doubt it's because I live with my parents.
Alright, and how old are you?
And why do you live with your parents?
Have you done a call-in?
I don't understand why people don't do call-ins.
I mean, honestly, I do not understand.
Why people don't do call-ins?
I mean, you've heard hundreds or thousands of them if you've been listening for a while.
They're always great.
They always have productive outcomes.
They're free.
I know you all have time.
I don't understand why people don't do them.
I mean, it can take a while to schedule them, I get that, but I fundamentally don't understand.
I mean, do you listen to the show?
I assume that you think I have something of value to offer.
Can you imagine if, in the height of my objectivism, Ayn Rand said, you can chat with me for two hours for free?
I'd be like, oh!
I don't, I don't, I don't understand why people reject mentoring.
I don't understand why people reject help when it's free.
I mean, you can literally sit in a bath for all I care and, well, maybe not a Roman bath, I don't understand why people don't avail themselves of call-in shows.
Or why they only do it when disaster has struck, right?
It's very sad.
you I mean, I did my first call-in show recently with an autistic fellow.
That was interesting.
Because suffering feels safe and comfortable.
No, it's suffering.
I'm terrified of being completely broken relying on myself for now.
I've had a call in and two brief chats on telegram.
So is the theory that there is a life without suffering?
Well, I'm living at home and that's kind of comfortable and I'm terrified of going out on my own.
There is no suffering.
All you can do in life is choose your suffering.
There is no choice called not suffering.
That's not an option.
Life has as a constant factor suffering.
So today I did not want to work out.
Doesn't really matter why.
It doesn't really feel like it.
So I did 40 minutes of weights.
Not huge, not major.
It was fine.
It was fine.
So I suffered a little bit to do the weights.
I didn't really want to.
So what's the option?
I don't do weights, I just suffer differently.
I get overweight, I Bones get soft and, you know, post-50 it's really tough to regrow your muscles and strengthen your bones, right?
So there is no such thing as no suffering.
There's only the choice of which suffering you choose.
Do you choose a little suffering now or a lot of suffering later?
Sorry to be annoying, but do you choose a little suffering now or a lot of suffering later?
It's tough to deny yourself food that you really like.
I really missed sugar for months.
It's tough to deny yourself food that you really like.
And now she's door, my daughter's working at an ice cream store.
It's tough to deny yourself food that you really like.
The alternative being what?
You know, if I can rid myself of the vestiges of my abdominal fat, I could live for another year.
Right?
Another year is another couple hundred shows.
Right at the peak of life and wisdom.
Right?
So I deny myself sugar.
I'm dropping some weight a little bit here and there if I can get my last ten pounds of abdominal fat removed.
Great!
So we make bad decisions in our life when we think there's a non-painful option.
So you say, well, I'm terrified to be self-supporting.
Okay.
First of all, necessity is the mother of invention.
and And something that happens when you're subsidized, when you're subsidized, right?
Your parents are paying for your bills, right?
So you don't end up at the kind of extremity that generates real creativity and real focus and real purpose, right?
I said this before, like, my first professional programming job I got because I completely ran out of money.
Like, normally you can just, oh, money's coming in and I can borrow a little bit and pay, oh, there's some checks coming or whatever.
I was just, I'm out.
I've tapped out my friends, I'm out.
I'm like, holy shit, I made phone calls and I've got it.
Right, so that's how I got started in the computer field.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
If you're subsidized, you don't know what you're capable of.
If other people are paying your bills, you just don't know what you're capable of.
You'd be amazed.
I remember seeing a business meeting once.
It was a cartoon about a business meeting and somebody said, well, Hannibal got the elephants over the Alps.
With that in mind, somebody think of something!
Right?
Because you can do amazing things.
All right, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show.
I mean that's a thing that I think of occasionally when I see someone who's living on the streets and we all
see them right from time to time.
We see the person who's living on the streets.
And what I can't help but think of, and maybe entirely unfair and unjust and wrong and bad, I'm going to take all of that, but I'll just tell you my honest thoughts, right or wrong.
What I think of is how many layers did you have to fall through to end up living on the street, right?
Kim, I mean, I'm talking about adults, not the poor runaway kids.
My heart breaks for that kind of stuff.
I'm talking about adults, right?
So, you have to have no family, you have to have no friends, and you have to have nothing of value to offer people, right?
So, if your friend, you know, let's say he's got a small place or whatever, right?
And you need a place to crash for a month or two until you get on your feet or whatever it is, right?
So you go to your friend and you say, man, I got a crash on your couch.
Please, please, please.
And he's like, I don't know.
And you're like, hey, man, whatever I can do to make this worth your while.
Like, I'll do your groceries for you.
I'll do your taxes for you.
I'll clean your house.
I'll do whatever you need.
I'll watch your Sisters, kids, if she needs to go, like, I'll do anything.
I'll work hours and hours a day to make you, I'll do your mail, I'll do anything you need me to do.
You need your oil changed on your gas, I'll do that for you, I'll make sure that your car goes in for its servicing, like, I will just do whatever you need.
I'll be your personal assistant, your cleaner, I'll cook for you, I'll, right?
Who's gonna say no to that?
Just to, you know?
So how many layers have you had to crash through and break through to end up there?
That's tough man.
you That's tough.
I had someone... I don't want to get into much detail here.
It actually just happened today.
as someone asked me for financial help.
And it happens.
I mean, I do, as you know, I've paid for a bunch of listeners to go to therapy and all that kind of stuff.
Well, as donors, in a sense, you have, but I hope that you think that I've managed the money wisely.
But...
This is somebody who asked for my financial help.
And it's a guy, he's in, roughly in this space, right?
And he asked me for help.
And I said, yeah, I'm happy to help.
Can you just, just out of curiosity, can you point me to anywhere where you wrote about my deplatforming?
Like, did you write about, like, did you say that it was unjust or wrong or anything like that, right?
And that's important for me because I'm into reciprocity.
Now, the guy doesn't have to have gone to the wall for me, but did he ever write on a blog or anywhere?
Could it have just been a tweet or anything?
Eh, you know.
This was bad, right?
And that's fine, right?
My help wasn't conditional, I was just kind of curious.
Because it's easy for people to ask for help when they're in need, but it's harder for some people to recognize how to help others when they're in need.
And you know, when I was deplatformed, if A bunch of people had gotten together and said, but absolutely we're going to bring you on the show.
This is horribly unjust.
This is wrong.
You got to explain your side.
You got to explain your case and so on.
But no, everyone just scattered, right?
No.
And this guy just wrote back these sort of really negative and pretty hostile messages.
And I'm like, oh, that's a shame, right?
He could have said, you know, I really should have, but I didn't.
And I feel bad about it.
That's fine.
You know, whatever, right?
I'm just, just curious.
I'm curious.
I don't do one sided things.
I don't do one-sided things.
If people haven't helped me in the past or come to my defense, then why would I go out on a significant limb to help others, to help them in particular, right?
So it's a funny thing to see.
Somebody says, never understood the children act out for attention thing until I linked abandonment with death.
Yeah, children absolutely want to get their parents attention because indifference is death.
Which is why children would rather behave badly and get hit than their parents be indifferent.
What is a simple guy or an influencer who asks for help?
As I said, he's in the space.
I don't want to get into too much detail, but he's in this space roughly, but I don't know him.
although he says he knows me.
Well, any other last tips?
I think we've had an interesting show tonight.
It's been a very wide array of topics and I hope that it helps you understand how to divvy up labor in a marriage so that things are efficient and people don't waste time and get frustrated.
So freedomain.com slash donate to help the show.
You can of course tip right here in the app.
You can Tip on the Locals app, you can tip on the Rumble app, and you can of course, everyone who donates through the end of the month.
And I think, I think I'm going to have to up the, I'm going to have to up the monthlies a bit.
I'm sorry, it's just like 20% of the currency value has been lost over the last couple of years, and sorry.
You know, got to raise prices a little bit to cover some costs.
So that's fine.
I'm giving you some warning now so that if you want to, it's the 23rd of August, if you want to get in before the end of the month and get yourself a subscription, you can get it in at the current price.
Otherwise the price is going to go up.
Much though I dislike doing it, I do have to be responsible for the entity as a whole and the employees and all the stuff that's needed.
All right.
I think we may be done for the night.
I really do appreciate your time, care, thoughts, attention, concern, care, questions.
Freedomain.com slash call.
I strongly, strongly urge you to give me a shout.
I'm always happy to chat.
Thank you, Steph.
This was a very insightful and humorous show.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
How much money did he ask for?
Well, he didn't name a sum, but he needed quite a bit.
And I, you know, I like to help people.
I really do.
I really do like to help people.
And I do try to do some charitable stuff, of course, as a whole.
Thank you, Chris.
I really, really appreciate it.
Thanks, Steph, for another great Friday Night Show.
The undertow portion is the greatest value for me so far.
You asked what I thought is a really good question.
Why don't long-term listeners call in?
A question I have to ask myself.
Sincerely, Chris.
Well, thank you, Chris.
I appreciate that and I appreciate your support and lots of love from up here.
I'll talk to you Sunday morning.
Sunday morning.
And have yourself a beautiful, beautiful night my friends.
I'll talk to you soon.
▲
Export Selection