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July 1, 2024 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
17:08
WHAT MEN WANT!
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So I was just this woman and she's, you know, I'm beautiful, I run my own business and I have to fight all day with my consultants and I'm beautiful and I run my own business and all this, right?
And she's like, I was talking with a friend of mine and she says, well, the men, the successful men, the high value men, the high status men, they just want a stupid woman, like a dumb blonde to come home and to, and to have a simple life and this, that and the other, right?
And, you know, it's just wild to me.
It's a wild thing to me that a woman can have, that women as a whole just have so little idea what men want.
I mean, it's just, it's like a form of sort of magical superstition stuff that is going on.
Like, they're just making up, to me, what is, you know, just completely crazy stuff.
What do the men want?
They just want a stupid woman.
They don't want a woman who has boss babe vibe.
I have masculine energy at work, but when I come home, I just want cuddles and sex.
It's like, oh my gosh.
I mean, I don't know how to, how to fundamentally.
Okay.
I mean, before you ask what men want, you have to ask What are men for?
Right?
Well, men are for the making of babies.
And you know, that's really what we're designed for.
Women are for the making of babies and men are for the making of babies.
Sexual dimorphism for the win.
So it's to me strange.
Well, it's such a mystery what the men want.
It's like, it's not a mystery at all.
What men want, if we're going to, you know, settle down and get married, what men want now, this is not all men and you know, the things can go awry and you can get traumatized and stuff, but what men want Is a good mother for their children.
That's what we want.
We want a good mother for our children.
That's what we want.
I mean, otherwise you're just playing house, your roommates, you know, whatever.
Like you can get married, marriage is for children.
And yes, you can get married.
If you're not going to have kids, that's fine.
And you can ride a bicycle on the road if, but it's built for cars, right?
You're just there as an incidental traveler.
So what do men want is such a mystery.
It's not a mystery at all.
We want a good mother for our children.
And we have seen what it's like when a family has a mother who's not a good mother to the children.
Like we've seen our mothers, we've seen our fathers, we've seen the mess, we've seen the stress, we've seen the problems, we've seen the alienation, we've seen the distance, we've seen the coldness, we've seen the like everything just bad has happened.
So we've, you know, we're a couple of generations into boss babe stuff.
And it's like, so what are you looking for?
And it's like, women get these like fake boobs and put on lots of.
Eyelashes and makeup and go to the gym and like, that's fine, I guess.
Well, not the fake boobs or too much makeup going to the gym is fine, but it's like, well, what the men want is like, okay.
So a high quality man, like let's say I'm, you know, this, this high quality super duper guy.
Right.
So I look at a woman like that and is she pretty?
Yeah, she's very pretty.
Is she ambitious?
Absolutely.
Is she successful?
Good for her.
Like, congratulations.
I think that's wonderful.
I got no problem with, uh, of course, women being successful in their chosen careers.
And that's great.
You know, nothing, but nothing, but love for all of that.
So a woman who's that driven, who's that ambitious, she has multiple degrees.
She's got the MBA, you know, she's got a master's of business administration.
So she's very driven.
Fantastic.
You know, good for her.
You know, if I wanted to go into business with someone, she might be first on the list.
But that's not what we're looking for.
He is afraid I will compete with him.
It's like, no.
No.
Men thrive on competition.
We love competition.
My wife and I compete on who can do the most thoughtful things.
It's beautiful.
We love competition.
Trust me.
Men are not afraid of competition.
But I'm this high quality guy.
I look at a woman like that and I say, okay, so we're both going to be working crazy hours and she's going to be really wrapped up in her business.
She's going to have all of these outside competing interests and she's not going to be a good mother for the children.
Right?
So what if I say to her, listen, um, We're going to have kids.
Let's have three kids.
I'd like you to stay home for 10 to 12 years.
Right?
Stay home and be a good mom and really get down on the floor and play with them and take them to the park and read to them and engage with them and love them and mother them and so on.
Right?
Are you going to be a good mother for my children?
I don't need your money, right?
I mean, it's not like I'm short of money, as if I'm this high-quality guy.
I don't need your money, I don't need your success, and I need you to focus on our children.
Now, of course, before, right, it's going to be my children, right?
Man's going to think about what's of benefit.
Are you going to be a good mother for my children?
And you know, I'm not sure why this is complicated.
I'm not sure why this is complicated.
So a woman, I don't know if it's a funny thing where she says like, I am an ambitious man, an ambitious, driven, highly educated, successful man wants an ambitious, driven, highly educated, successful woman.
It's like, no, that would be narcissistic.
I want someone who's a mirror image of me.
The only thing I can like and admire is me with boobs.
And it's like, that's narcissistic.
Why would anyone who's a highly successful man, why would he want a man with boobs?
Why?
It's, you know, no, no hate to our good to gay friends, but you know, it's, uh, to think that a woman wants a man like that, that a woman thinks a man is just looking for a man, but with a, in a woman's body, it's like, well, no, because we're looking for something different, you know, straight men.
Right.
When we're looking for something different than us in a female form, because that would not be particularly heterosexual to put it mildly.
Right.
So again, it does remain just a little tiny bit confusing to figure this stuff out.
Why is this so hard to figure out?
Why are men attracted to women, right?
Why are men attracted to women?
Because we make children, right?
I mean, it's how we evolved and you can sort of say all you want about, yeah, but this is sort of, this is how we evolve, right?
This is how we've evolved.
We've evolved to choose good mothers for our children.
Because if we didn't choose good mothers for our children, we would not be successful as men.
Right?
Why does a man become successful?
A man becomes successful primarily to provide resources for his children.
Right?
That's why a man becomes successful.
To provide resources for his wife and his children.
So if the woman is working and providing her own resources, then she's not going to be a good mother.
Certainly she won't be as good a mother as she would be if she was home with the children.
So then, what happens is, if a man has a woman Who's like a man, that ambitious, that driven.
And again, it's great that women do that.
I have no problem with women who do that.
I'm just saying it's not what men want if you're going to get married and have a family.
So what's going to happen is the man is going to be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife.
See, that's not appealing to a man, right?
So a man will then be providing resources to a woman like a nanny or some daycare blah blah blah he's then going to be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife who's going to be raising his children now if when you choose the woman who raises your children you choose the values that your children have right that makes sense right if you if you choose when you choose the woman who's going to be the mother of your children you then
You choose the values that your children will be exposed to, right?
So, if you choose a Catholic woman to raise your children and she raises your children, then, by golly, your children are going to be raised Catholic, right?
If you choose a secular woman, blah blah blah, right?
So, a man is choosing the values that get transmitted to his children when he chooses the mother of his children, right?
We understand this is not overly complicated.
Now, If a woman says, well, I don't want to raise your children, then, unfortunately, the man is no longer in control of who is raising his children.
He's no longer in control.
He's no longer in control of the values That his children are exposed to that form, his children, his children's minds.
Now that job is outsourced and he has no particular control over what's going to be happening with regards to his children and how they're raised.
Because now it's some other woman that he's providing resources.
You can say, oh, well, the mother is providing resources as well and all that.
I get all of that.
I get all of that.
But it's just a bad situation as a whole, because the man is providing resources to a woman so that she can transfer his values to his children.
Now, I mean, it's her values too, but you choose compatibility of values for this particular reason and purpose, right?
So, the purpose of a man's success is to transfer values to his children, which means that he chooses a wife who shares his values, and then she transfers those values to his children, and that's called his legacy.
That's his legacy.
That's what he wants.
That's what he wants.
Now, if it's a woman who doesn't want to raise his children, then he has to get someone else to provide the values for his children, and he's no particular control over that.
I mean, I guess if you choose a nanny, you have some control over it, but the nanny's typically younger, doesn't have any life experience, and it's really complicated to try and get a nanny to provide these kinds of values.
So that's not particularly good.
If he goes to a daycare, then it's really out of his control.
And so...
The man who is successful has a particular set of values and an ethos and a way of being in the world.
And you know, the more free market generally, the more virtuous you have to be to be successful.
Like you have to be trustworthy.
You have to be honest.
You have to keep your promises.
You have to have handshake deals that are as good as iron and you have to be reliable and they have to be hardworking.
So there's a lot of values that you want to transfer.
to your kids because really what's the point of having all these values and these virtues and being successful?
What's the point of that if it just turns out that those values don't get transferred to the next generation because you've got some 20-year-old au pair or nanny who doesn't share these values, doesn't know how to communicate them, or some daycare teacher, you know, making 12 bucks an hour who can't transfer these values.
So then you're basically preying on the success of the next generation for a couple of extra bucks in the here and now.
That's just not what we're looking for.
We're looking to transfer our values and our virtues to the next generation.
And that means having a wife who shares our values, who stays home with and educates the children, right?
This is not super complicated, right?
We can understand all of this, I think, very, very easily, right?
Then there's no particular purpose or point in having a boss babe woman who's going to toss your kids in daycare and thus interrupt the flow of wisdom and virtues from you to your kids.
In other words, you're crippling your children by having another woman who doesn't particularly share your values raise your children.
That's not something that successful men want.
We want to transfer our values to the next generation.
Otherwise, we're crippling them, and we're exploiting the next generation by having kids but not transferring our virtues and our values.
To them.
So we look at the boss, babe.
And you know, again, I think it's great, you know, more, more power to you.
Good for you.
Well done.
Excellent.
No problem.
It's just not what a successful man wants to marry as a whole.
Cause his life just gets stressful and difficult and the values aren't transferred to the next generation.
And he ends up with kids who are kind of alienated who don't share his values and who have been kind of programmed by other people into their mindset or no mindset, which is often the case.
And so.
A man who is successful desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children, right?
He desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children.
Because if he can't get a successful woman to raise his children, then he can't transmit the values of success down to his kids.
Now, the women who take care of other people's children when they're young Those women tend not at all to be particularly successful.
I'm not saying they're terrible people, you understand, but you know, I mean, I worked in a daycare.
The women who were daycare teachers, I mean, unless they were just students passing through, in which case you don't have much life experience and can't transmit many values, but the women who were working there sort of full-time, they were not successful women because the pay was very low.
And some woman who's a nanny, she's a young woman, she's a nanny, she's not particularly successful because if she was particularly successful, she'd be raising...
Her own kids or, you know, having some job or whatever it is.
So, we men, we want a successful woman to transmit our values.
Now, we say, ah, yes, but the boss babe is a successful woman.
Yes, but she can't transmit our values or productive values to the kids because, of course, she's working.
She's taking calls.
She's dealing with clients.
She's serving everyone but her children.
So men, we don't want women who serve everyone but her children, because then our legacy dies with us, and we've then paid for a bunch of other people to raise our kids, not transferring our values, not transferring our virtues, and it's kind of selfish.
It kind of cripples other kids.
It cripples our kids in the hot pursuit of life's success and goodies.
So we're just looking for someone who's going to stay home with the kids and transmit our values.
Now you say, ah yes, but the woman is ambitious and this and that and the other.
It's like, okay, so if the woman is ambitious, again, that's fine, but a really, really materialistic, hard-working, hard-driven, entrepreneurial and ambitious woman Tend not to be people who are going to be fantastic at raising our children because they're always going to want to be working, they're always going to be doing something else, and they're going to be taking calls, or they're going to be frustrated, or they're going to be looking at everybody else's successful LinkedIn profiles and getting frustrated that they're just home.
It's just not particularly compatible, and it's not particularly good.
So the boss babes, if you say, I want you to stay home for 10 to 12 years to raise the children, and you know, maybe longer if we homeschool, she's not going to want to do that.
And again, I have no problem with that.
That's totally fine.
But then the man can't have a legacy, right?
The man does not have a legacy.
He can't have a legacy.
Right?
And if you can't have a legacy, then what's the point of it?
What's he working for?
Is he working?
What's he working for?
And men who are successful tend to have worked very hard to become successful.
They've sacrificed a lot.
They've got a lot of education.
They've done business travel, which is less fun than it seems after a while.
They've got a lot of education.
They've taken continuing courses.
They've been working, you know, 60, 70, 80 hours a week.
Well, what's for?
Well, for the next generation, for kids and all that.
Maybe this is confusing for people.
I'm not exactly sure why, but men and women are different.
And a man who's very successful wants a woman who's going to transmit his values, virtues, and legacies to his children so he has a reason to work.
Otherwise, it just gets kind of hedonistic, pointless, empty, and boring, and useless, and stressful.
And who wants that?
Nobody wants that.
Nobody wants that.
All right.
Hope this helps.
Thanks a lot.
Let me know in your thoughts.
Talk to you soon.
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