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Uh, let me just, uh, let me know if the audio's good.
I'm tapping the mic.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's your song challenge.
Are you ready?
Are you ready for your song... ...challenge?
Aw!
Aw, baby.
Yeah.
Ooh, yeah.
Listen to this.
Spy on me baby, use satellite.
Infrared to see me move through the night.
Aim gonna fire, shoot me right.
You're gonna like the way you fight.
Anybody?
Come on baby!
Anybody.
You guys gotta know this one.
You gotta know it.
I insist that you know it.
Now you found the secret code I used to wash away my lonely blues.
So I can't deny a lie because you are the something something.
So close.
Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb.
Yeah, it's a good song.
You can give it to me when I need to come along.
Anyway, it's a good song.
Tom Jones!
He did a great cover of Kiss.
Although he's been accused of some rather nasty things by groupies, well, it was the 60s and 70s.
I pretty much assume everything was nasty.
Yeah, it's a great song.
He did a song of covers with Ben Eckert, ladies, and a bunch of other people.
It's actually pretty good.
It's pretty good.
But yeah, his version of Kiss was really, really good.
Really?
You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on.
Yeah, he's a good Welsh singer, right?
Good Welsh wobbler and quite the performer back in the day.
Back in the day, he was quite the performer.
So, questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems, whatever you like, my friends, I am here for you.
My gosh, it's only two shopping days till Christmas Eve.
Just in case you wish to.
Support and help out your friendly neighborhood.
Philosopher!
There's distortion.
Something with sound.
Yeah.
Every single time it's like, uh... Every single time I switch.
My audio.
Sounds good there?
Okay, maybe it's something to do with you.
This distortion, well, it could just be me doing Tom Jones.
Could be any number of things.
So yeah, if you want to kick anything off with a donation, I'd be thrilled.
And a hearing.
Sounds like peaking maybe?
I hear it a bit with the singing.
Yeah, Corey Hart.
I wear my sunglasses at night.
Do I like Corey Hart?
I think I only know two of his songs.
That one and... Just a little more time is all we're asking for.
Yeah.
Never Surrender.
I don't know what else he's ever done but those two songs.
We're pretty good.
I remember a friend of mine was in an elevator with two teen girls.
This is when we were teenagers.
We were in this elevator with two teen girls, and they were talking about Corey Hart, and my friend was like, you ever notice that he looks a little bit like a chipmunk?
And they just turned at him and screamed, we're better than you!
And then rang off.
So.
A little distortion, you say.
But it's only some people, right?
Only some.
People somewhere in summertime.
Eurasian eyes?
I don't think I know that one.
Don't know why sunglasses at night was so popular.
Never surrendered was better.
My dickly?
My dickly?
My dickly?
My dick?
My dick is an ally.
I hope yours is too.
It's always important to make an ally out of your dick.
Otherwise, it's just an axis, which means tripod, which means discomfort.
It's so funny.
When it comes to music, music is a fantastic example of the joys of Austrian economics.
It's very, very interesting.
Notes here, please.
I'm just going to mention this to our friends.
No signal on this comp.
All right.
So, do you know why it's very interesting with music and Austrian economics?
Music and Austrian economics.
Because people say
This song is criminally underrated, right?
People say this is an underrated movie.
This song is better than that song.
I don't understand it and so on.
Now, how does Austrian economics deal with this question, this problem, this issue?
How does Austrian economics deal with this issue?
With this song is criminally underrated.
Everyone loves their greatest hits, but the real gems are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
How does Austrian economics deal with this
This issue, this challenge.
Subjective price theory.
Liberty Garden.
That is so exciting for me.
You can feel the vines of my fingers growing up your legs in a most East German and ticklish manner.
Yeah, value is subjective.
It's criminally underrated.
The really great songs are this.
Now, give me a range, my friends.
I need to know how far back in time we need to go.
Give me your late teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond.
I was trying to explain this to my daughter the other day.
Let's go on a little musical journey, shall we?
But without me singing for once.
Let's go on a little musical journey.
39.
Also, a great song by Queen.
Alright.
So, did you ever buy... My American audience is going to get confused by this.
This is not a weapon.
Did you ever buy a 45?
Did you ever buy a 45?
I still remember the very first... I didn't buy it.
I was gifted it.
It was a song called Things We Do For Love by 10cc.
The band better known for Not In Love and Dreadlock Holiday, a couple other songs.
The things we do for love, the things we do for love.
It's a good song, it's a good song.
Oh, they've got a great song called Try.
You don't know how to ease my pain, you don't know.
And they just go like straight up.
Yeah, so 45, nothing before 2000.
So 45, man, this is where you first learn economics when you're a kid.
So you learn economics in this way.
You hear a great song on the radio.
Now, not that I would ever do something so nefarious and dastardly, but
My friends, this was your ultimate reflexes.
It wasn't, can you catch a grasshopper from my hand and escape the Buddhist garden of martial arts instruction, but can you get to the tape recorder when the song comes on the radio and record it in time?
Can you do that?
I literally saw people, they glitched, they blurred, they despawned and spawned with that finger.
In fact, occasionally when I was doing temp work in an office, I'd just sit there with, they do the countdown, top 100 songs, and I'd just sit there with the song.
And I still have songs in my head with the DJ's voice from like 30 years ago still stuck in my brain because, you know, they'd always talk over the intro of the song.
Maybe they kind of had to do that.
They definitely did that in England when I was growing up.
Because I used to wake up to the radio and people would just be talking and talking and talking and... Save all your kisses for me!
And... I still... Mix 99.9, I remember working late one night in an office.
I had some big presentation that I was helping out on.
And... Oh boy, this was... Yeah, this was way back in the day.
And... Mix 99.9 with Rob... It wasn't Rob Thomas, that's the singer for 3AM.
But...
Anyway, they just played an Alan Parsons songs, they played some other songs, just three songs in a row that I just loved and I listened to them a lot.
And I remember they used to have this bit where they'd say, uh, a four out of five dentists recommend 99.9.
And then you hear the screaming in the background.
I was like, we're still working on the fifth, the fifth one, which I thought was actually pretty funny.
But yeah, just get those, get those, um,
Get those songs, get those songs.
So what would happen is you'd hear a song on the radio, you'd really like it, and you'd say, okay fine, I'll cough up the two dollars and cents, two dollars or whatever it was for a 45.
But you'd know, you'd know man, that
Maybe you should buy the album, but the album was like $7.99.
It was like two bucks for the single, the album was $7.99.
So you sit there and you go, okay, damn, okay, this could be a really, because I love music, as you know.
One day it'll love me back, but you'd sit there and you'd have to weigh, say, okay, well, that's one good song, but it could be one good song because everyone's had that experience back in the day where you drop eight bucks.
And so this was back, I made $2.45 an hour.
So, you know, eight bucks is, you know, three hours to work with tax and all that and a little bit more.
So now, if you making 15 bucks an hour, that's like 45 bucks and so on.
So, expensive, expensive stuff.
I really couldn't afford that many albums and nobody would lend me any albums because my record player was so bad.
It actually was more of a carpet bomber or an apple peeler.
You could put apples in and it would just like
Nobody would lend me albums because I'd play them and it was a little slow too so that the needle was so bad I had to put clumps of plasticine on top of the needle and then it just slowed everything down a little bit so it's like, it's fun to stay at the YMCA.
Is it really?
Is it fun?
Are you on quaaludes?
In the Navy, yes you can lend yourself a hand.
Everything turned into this treacly slow motion Quaalude ballad.
Oh my god, it was horrendous.
It was just horrendous.
So you would be like, oh it could be, but everyone who's bought one of those $50 albums, you put the album on and it sucks.
Like John Anderson has an album called City of Angels which has a fantastic song, Hurry Home, and the rest of it just
It just sucks like a vacuum it just blows like big generator from yes after 90210 I think they put an album out big generator just terrible it was just awful just.
Now some people but reliable sting you could usually rely on to give you some fairly decent albums although he's always got one country song one foreign language song.
It's always just the way it goes he did one with James Taylor I think it was.
So you would you would buy.
You'd hear the song, and you'd be like, ah, I'm just gonna buy the album.
You'd buy the album, and it'd be one song, maybe two okay songs, and the rest of it would just blow.
And so you'd be crying, right?
Because you spent eight bucks to get two good songs, which, if you'd just paid the two singles, plus you get the other side, the flip side, which is not bad, sometimes.
I remember we had Amazing Grace from Joan Baez, and on the other side was the Marxist propaganda, I Pity the Poor Immigrant.
Anyway.
You buy the album, the album turns out to blow, you weep copious tears of regret, and then you try and sell your album.
And then the album that you bought, for eight bucks maybe you can sell for 75 cents.
Oh, brutal.
Brutal.
I remember selling two railway carriages from one of my train sets for four dollars, and then I saw them for eight dollars each.
I'm like, well I guess he's got the store, but boy, you know, maybe you could give the kids just a smidge more scratch?
So you'd wait on the radio, you'd wait on the radio, and they would release one single, and you'd be like, that's a great song.
And then they wouldn't release another single from the same album for a couple of months, because they want that first.
So you just have to wait.
Two singles, ah, they're both good, you know.
Is this going to be a good album?
Or is this going to be an album with a couple of gems and a load of crap?
Oh, you never know.
Every now and then you just get these albums like Atlantis Demore with just fantastic reggae to the bonk.
Just almost every song on there is a gem with the exception of Would You Be My Girl.
Anyway, so you just accumulate enough value with the singles and you're fine, I'll buy the album.
And sometimes that would just be, it would be great.
You'd be like, ah, I love this album.
Like, you know, when I bought Wish You Were Here, loved it.
I, of course, I had to tape it right away because otherwise my record player would destroy the album, so.
Yeah, it was really rough, man.
It was rough stuff.
You cheated by buying Beatles albums.
Yeah, yeah, so if you buy the old ones, that's okay.
And ELO's Bad Outta Hell was a good album, although the moaning and panting in Paradise by the Dashboard Light didn't exactly help you concentrate on your homework.
So,
Yeah, it was something else.
Let's see.
Sorry, let me just get... Blue Rodeo?
I saw them in concert, actually.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I had a friend of mine got married, got married to the Blue Rodeo song, Well, if we're lost, then we are lost together.
And it's just like, oh, I don't know, man.
I don't know.
I mean, that's not the most romantic song.
And I don't think the marriage lasted.
I didn't really stay in touch.
But
All right, let me just get your comments here.
We're going way back.
You know, I feel like I'm basically teaching an anthropology.
Yeah, Try is a great song.
It's a great song.
Don't you know you've got to try, try, try.
Oh, baby, you try.
Yeah, CDs when they came out.
You know, I had a friend who was like, you know what's amazing about CDs?
You pause them and they pick up right again where you left off.
Like this, like the tenth of a second you lost with the cassette tape was just the worst thing in the world.
You would wait for a song to play on the radio to record it?
Yeah, yeah.
And they did these songs, like there are tons of songs I only know because they advertised them on late night TV, right?
They would advertise these bands on late night TV.
The two I remember were John Denver
And Creedence Clearwater Revival.
And of course, because they play like three seconds from each song, I know that there's a song by John Denver called Galveston.
Galveston?
I don't know how it goes.
I have no idea.
I just made up the rest of the song in my head.
And I know that CCR was born on the bye.
I believe it's
Bayou, not bay-ee-ha-ha, or barhouse.
Born on the burr.
Uh, I thought it was, um... No, it's born on the bayou, so I know very, very small amounts.
Now, here's the other thing.
Oh!
Stupid Alpenmaps of the 90s that cost, like, 22 bucks.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
John Anderson is a great musician you turned me on to.
Beautiful music.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
And very talented.
You know, he only taught himself to play his own instruments when he was in his mid to late 20s.
He basically just, he wanted to do his own album, he locked himself in his garage with a whole bunch of instruments and taught himself how to play them, and six months later had an album.
Just amazing.
So then, the last thing, the last thing that happened was just brutal.
Let me just see here.
Greatest Hits.
Nah, Greatest Hits is really problematic.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Worse now, someone who has so many hits, any one of the Billboard charts.
Now to find he was on Epstein's Island.
Destroyed my childhood memories was Phil Collins.
I don't think the Epstein thing has been released!
Galveston, it's smellier than Houston.
That's not good, because Houston's fairly... Creedence was awesome, yeah.
I did one of those in a song quiz a while ago.
So, I don't think the Epstein thing is coming out next month, but I don't think anything definitive is out at the moment.
They're redacting some people and everyone's nervous about that, which I understand, but I think it's incidental people.
So, here's the problem.
So, even if you weren't around in the 70s and the 80s buying music, here's the problem.
What's the problem?
So, if you buy greatest hits, you're pretty good, right?
You're pretty good, man.
You've got greatest hits.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's a great song.
You better learn it fast and you better learn it young because someday never comes.
Yeah, it's a very heartbreaking song.
I like The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics, who I always thought was sung by Mike, but it's some other guy who Phil Collins said could basically sing the phone book.
So what's the problem with buying, let's say, oh yeah, I like this Queen song.
What's the problem with buying?
So the plus side of buying greatest hits
Were the flight logs released?
Okay, I'm half and half about that.
I don't know for sure.
I'm sure you're right.
So, what's the problem with buying greatest hits?
You know you're gonna just get a bunch of quality, right?
Buy Queen's greatest hits, you're gonna get a bunch of quality, right?
What's the problem with that?
What's the big problem with buying the greatest hits?
I was just a skinny lad, never knew no good from bad.
But I knew life before I left my nursery.
No, it's not that they always leave out some great songs.
No, you're toast, man.
You buy Greatest Hits and you wear that out, right?
So you spend a year listening to Greatest Hits and you're like, wow, you know, it's a great band.
I'm going to buy some of their albums.
But you're already sick and tired of the Greatest Hits.
So you're buying a bunch of albums which you don't want to play through because you're sick and tired of the greatest hits?
And let's say there are two or three greatest hits, right?
You think of the Queen's album, The Game, right?
You've got...
Well, you got the two biggies.
We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions, right?
The two big ones, and there's... Were there any other hits off that album?
The Game also had some great songs.
It's Late was not really much of a hit.
Get Down, Make Love was not much of a hit.
So, you've got two songs, and then you get the rest of it, but you're sick and tired.
You listen to the best of the best already, or whatever it is, right?
So, yeah.
Now, I was trying to explain all this to my daughter, right?
Who can just call up anything she wants.
But no, The Greatest Hits is a real mixed bag, because you get The Greatest Hits, and then you gotta go for the rest of it.
Then, of course, what happens is, like with bands, when you really get into them because of their greatest hits, you end up... What do you end up doing?
You end up liking everything but The Greatest Hits, right?
You end up liking every song but The Greatest Hits, which you're entirely, completely, and totally sick of.
All right, let me ask you this.
And y'all feel free to tip.
I know that we're not doing super philosophy here.
I don't know Simple Man by Skinner.
Spirit in the Sky?
It was a Jewish guy who wrote that.
It's actually kind of interesting.
Greenbaum.
He ended up as a pastry chef or something like that.
It was kind of neat.
So... Now, let me ask you this.
What's the song that enrages you?
What's a song where it's played and you just... That was News of the World?
Yeah.
News of the World, sorry, yeah, yeah.
So, what's the song that you just, you leap up and you, right?
The Clash had some great B-sides.
Boy, if there was ever, the guitarist was Joe Strummer, right?
But if there was ever a guy who you'd never think would be a singer but ripped, but pulled it off pretty well.
My Sweet Lord, George Harrison.
Yeah, he's kind of treacly, right?
Yeah, he's kind of treacly.
And he himself, he said he had no range, right?
Because I'm happy.
Come along if you feel... Only the Good Die Young.
Yeah, pretty anti-Catholic song.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Dark Horse, Katy Perry.
Imagine.
Yeah, Imagine got pretty sickening.
Hey Jude has gotten so old for me.
Plus it's also like, when does this song ever end?
And if you ever do it in karaoke, it's fun for the first while.
And then it's really not.
Leap Hop, Good or Bad.
I don't know about that.
Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry.
I hate that song.
Yeah.
Yeah, there are some songs.
Call me, maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
Paint the town red by Doha Cat.
It's a hedonistic mess.
Yeah.
Most of Kiss was annoying.
I was born for loving you, baby.
Yeah, Kamiya's Dystopia.
Do you know that there's a movie that was made by Yoko Ono that was 42 minutes of her husband's semi-erect penis?
Why?
Because 60s, I guess.
But yeah, they were freaks and a half.
Anything Billie Eilish by Billie Eilish pulls you towards suicide.
No, don't be unfair.
It doesn't just pull you towards suicide.
Murder is in there as well.
Like Nirvana.
Yeah, yeah.
Slade's Here It Us Merry Christmas drives me nuts.
Lakeside Park, even Geddy Lee hates it.
Yeah, he's got a whole book out.
My effing life, he's got a whole new book out.
I guess a lot of musicians who couldn't tour during the pandemic wrote autobiographies instead.
Love Shack Bay.
My daughter loved that song when she was little.
I like a little, like a toddler toddler.
Mmm.
We built this city.
Yes.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Yes.
Love Shack is a, it's a pretty funny song.
Got me as Chrysler, it's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail!
That guy's got quite the adenoidal nasal voice.
It's interesting, right?
Of course, with the B-52s, we grew up dancing to Rock Lobster.
Nirvana was terrible, saw them at college.
Kurt Cobain was such a joke to the audience on campus.
Oh yeah, yeah, he was pretty rough.
The wrong music can really ruin you emotionally.
Yeah, I think that's kind of true.
You gotta watch out for the lyrics.
They are sort of programming, right?
All reggae is the same song.
Right.
Right.
Yoko Ono was a skilled hypnotist.
I've heard people say that Lennon displayed signs of being brainwashed.
Interesting.
Hypnotism and brainwashing are not the same thing, I don't think.
I'm no expert.
Alright!
Questions?
Comments?
Kid Rock is pretty trashy.
God Only Knows is a good song though.
And the one he did with Cheryl LaFro is also pretty good.
It's a pretty good song.
Country music has some absolutely great lyrics and great storytelling.
I ain't seen the sun in three damn days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, people who live the country, blues songs.
Um, yeah, Kid Rock is, uh, I actually saw him.
He opened for Sting many years ago and I saw him.
Um, the man, the man pours heart and soul into a performance.
I'll give him that for sure.
But yeah, of course.
I mean, he's, he's rock groupie trashy for sure.
Right.
Uh, I'd like to shake your hands, but I don't want to get a hand venereal disease.
What does philosophy have to say about postpartum depression, non-integrated trauma re-experienced?
Well, yeah, I mean, postpartum depression, there could very well be, I assume, physical stuff like hormonal stuff and all of that, but I do think
That... When I was a child, Bjork gave me literal migraines.
I'd cry and cry when she was on.
Yeah, that girl seems damaged.
Fiona Apple, too.
I've been a bad, bad girl.
Yeah, she's... I broke the heart of a delicate man.
And it's a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy just because she can.
Yeah, I think she was brutally raped or something.
It's just really, really just terrible, terrible stuff happened to her.
And you can see that kind of stuff flooding and flying along.
Oh, man, it's rough.
So apparently the flight logs were released.
Thank you for the update.
The Epstein flight logs were released.
The logs contain flight records of Jeffrey Epstein's private jets, including the names of passengers and flight details.
There's a CSV, comma, separated... I don't know what the V is.
Comma, separated... log?
That has been circulating for a week or so, claiming to be the logs.
It's incomplete and hard to tell if it's genuine.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
That's good to know.
Yeah, what do you get if you play country music backwards?
You get the wife back, the kids back, the husband.
That's right.
Um, so, and I remember when I was working up North, um, the guys I was working with, there was only one radio station they could get through some weird trick of the troposphere.
It was a radio station that was only country and Western songs.
And I remember very, very clearly commerce.
I remember now commerce separated values.
Yes, that's it.
My memory in the form of Jared has returned to me.
Oh, yes.
I got it right before you did, James.
Right before you did.
Anyway.
So I just remember one weekend, it was like, we're counting down the top 800 country and Western songs of all time.
And they were pretty funny, actually.
Some of them were pretty funny.
Get your tongue out of my mouth.
I'm kissing you goodbye.
She got the goldmine and I got the shaft.
How about a divorce?
It was really good.
It was really good.
Oh Lord, it's so hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way.
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
I like the sense of humor.
The good old boy sense of humor is quite a lot of fun.
It's quite appealing.
In my humble opinion.
Humble.
Massively humble opinion.
Alright, so as far as postpartum depression goes, yeah, I think that there's obviously some hormonal stuff and all of that, but
I don't think the body forgets much, if anything.
I don't think the body forgets much, if anything.
And we know this from circumcision, like I was just reading this study that, I don't know if it's new or old because I remember referencing it some years ago, I don't know if it's been replicated or updated, but
They did a baseline stress hormonal responses of babies who've been circumcised and babies who were non-circumcised and they did this over six months and after six months the stress response, the fear response, the terror response had not returned to baseline.
I'm not sure that it ever does.
I'm not sure that it ever does.
Dum-da-lum-da-lum-da-lum-da-la-da.
Dum-da-lum-da-lum-da-lum-da-la-da-da-da-dum.
That's a good song.
Big and Rich.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.
The video's a little gross, but the song I think is pretty good.
We... What's that, Blues Brothers?
We play both kinds of music here.
Country and Western.
It's hard to argue.
Mary Robbins has a lot of great songs.
Johnny Cash, good artist.
I never got into him too much.
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Yeah, I never got into him.
I'm a big one for singers and for me he doesn't have much of a voice.
That's why I couldn't get into Sheryl Crow that much.
Although she's got some good songs.
Although pro-communist, right?
My friend the Communist holds meetings in his RV.
I can't afford the gas, so I'm stuck here watching TV.
I mean, she's talking about her friend who's a Communist, right?
Can she imagine if she was singing My Friend the Nazi?
His cover of Hurt.
Yeah, Bobby Darin was great, yeah.
Rawhide is an excellent seed, yeah.
Rawhide.
Yeah, that's a funny movie.
That's a funny movie.
I remember Matt Guitar Murphy's arms was my envy in my early teens.
Man's got some guns.
Man's got some guns.
And that rather greasy looking skeevy saxophone player.
We especially would like to welcome all the members of Illinois Law Enforcement who've chosen to be with us this evening.
I bought the soundtrack.
That one I was happy to do the album.
I really enjoyed that.
What do you think about the cranberries?
Oh my love, in every way, in every possible way.
Zombie I didn't like particularly, but Dreams, pretty good.
I really liked the... That sort of warbling that she does at the end.
Very innovative and creative singer, but I assume that she also was very badly abused and didn't make it, of course, much past middle age.
The movie about Johnny Cash is worth the time to watch.
He was a tormented soul.
Yep.
The only romantic songs I know are Sade.
There's nothing like you and I, baby.
The Artisan Blues Brothers are awesome.
Ah!
I really woke up to Aretha Franklin.
She actually wrote, think, and rewrote the lyrics for the Blues Brothers, which is a great song.
Who I really woke up to in that movie was, well, Cab Calloway.
Hey folks, here's a story about Domene the Moocher.
She was a low-down hoochie-coocher.
That's a great song.
And also, well, you heard about the fella you've been dancing with all over the neighborhood.
That was just amazing.
Ray Charles doing that.
What's that song?
Gosh, I should know this.
Do the boobaloo.
That's a fantastic song.
That's a fantastic song.
Lullaby by the Cure is about abuse.
Very tragic.
Yeah, the Cure.
Those guys are kind of... Robert Smith is kind of mental for sure.
Janis Joplin.
Yeah, also heavily traumatized and massively promiscuous and then of course died of a drug overdose.
The 27 Club, right?
The Cure is amazing, but man can it get set!
Yes, Charlotte sometimes, um, I remember going to see The Cure, they didn't even play Love Cats!
Like, it's the only song of theirs that I really liked!
So.
Mess Around?
Um, sorry, I'm married.
Unless you're referring to a song, in which case, I'm married.
Yeah, The Artist and Bruce Brothers were fantastic, for sure.
Although I didn't particularly like James Brown's version of the stuff that went on in there.
Not, not huge.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.
That's right.
And the toast thing.
I don't know.
I was just, it's just very funny.
I mean, the Blues Brothers is funny because they're just so improbable.
Like there's a very serious looking guy who does this funky leg dance.
And then the guy who's really tubby who does all these flips and all of that.
Simply Red holding back the ears.
Yeah, for sure.
I appreciate these.
Do the mess around.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You know, then you graduate into Ray Charles doing Georgia.
Georgia's actually about a woman, believe it or not.
Georgia is not about the state, it's about a woman.
So, thank you, I appreciate the song.
Simply Red, I think the guy was pretty vain.
With Simply Red, you know, it's just like, there's a picture of me looking dreamy on the album cover.
On the back,
There's another picture of me looking dreamy.
Now when you open it up, there's two pictures of me looking dreamy, and then on the album sleeve, there's another picture of me looking dreamy.
It's like, dude!
You're not a model, you're a singer!
Just sing.
Shut up and sing.
Thank you.
Playing God by Polyphia.
I will check it out.
Extremely technical guitar.
Yeah, so everyone listens to particular things in songs and it usually has something to do with your own area of expertise.
Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Oh!
Oh!
Once was a sweet thing, baby.
Yeah, that's... I love Stevie Ray.
Stevie Ray, he's got the kind of guitar that just gives your toes boners.
Like, it's just amazing.
It's just incredible.
Change It is a great song from his, and yeah, just fantastic.
Ah, thanks for the how to have hope call, and I'm so thankful for the conversation.
My twins are born.
I'm exponentially more enthusiastic.
After I talk, Merry Christmas from my new family to yours.
Mwah!
Congratulations!
Fantastic.
Fantastic.
So yeah, with regards to, um, postpartum depression, you have to deal with your shit before you have kids.
You have to deal with your shit before
Yeah, Little Wing, it's a great song, and Sting did a pretty good cover of that.
So yeah, to deal with your shit before you have kids, I think that all the things that you didn't get as a baby and a toddler come back to you when you become a mother, and I think that's really tough.
All right.
That's live Frank Sinatra.
Yeah, I prefer some of his... I prefer some of Frank's softer songs.
The soundtrack to Leaving Las Vegas has some great songs by Sting that are kind of covers of that sort of era and, like, just really, really good.
Really good stuff.
Angel eyes, that old devil scent.
Her bones uncomfortably clear.
Got to know if my life's misspent and why my angel eyes ain't here.
Painted Black and Sympathy for the Devil by Rolling Stones is pretty dark and a bit hypnotic.
And Sympathy for the Devil has great lyrics.
Great lyrics.
Very hypnotic, yeah.
Very hypnotic.
Steph, you might be happy to hear that I asked out my hairstylist tonight.
I'm mixed.
I'm mixed.
Obviously, I'm very, very happy that you asked out your hairstylist, but I'm very enraged that you still need a hairstylist, because I don't!
I credit you with helping me step out of my comfort zone and work up the courage to go for broke no matter the answer.
She accepted and we set a date to go out for dinner.
I love you, brother.
Tip incoming.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that.
Dave Matthews fans, everything is automatic.
I think too many women don't love their kids, which makes giving birth and breastfeeding extremely difficult.
Well, okay.
So if a woman, if a woman is placing as her primary value, her sexual market value, she's going to resent the baby.
She's going to resent the baby.
Why?
You all know why.
Why is she going to resent the baby if she has placed her supreme value on sexual market value?
Why?
What is the problem?
Because the baby marks the end of her sexual market value.
And she knows that deep down.
So if you don't have something to offer other than being hot, pretty, attractive, then you will resent the baby because the baby takes away all of that, right?
You have fired your booster to get to orbit, right?
Well, the baby kills her figure, sure, I mean, but
Listen to my new favorite I never knew anything about until two years ago.
Finnish soprano Tarja Turunen.
T-A-R-J-A-T-U-R-U-N-E-N.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
It takes away weight, skin, shape, energy.
Yeah, boobs and you're just tired, right?
It's time to feel sexy when you're tired.
Those combos are so needed for the masses.
Yes, tis true.
Tis true.
James, should we give these people a little bonus?
These glorious, gorgeous, beautiful... Thank you, thank you so much for your support, people.
If you could give me the link to the premium show, the one I did with the guy who was being rather unkind to his wife.
I just put it out in the last couple of days.
Let's give it out here, because this is a wild show.
Heidi Klum was once roasted.
Four kids, yet your body looks like you haven't paid attention to any of them.
Well, some women bounce back and all of that.
Of course, if you have kids younger, then, right?
If you have kids younger, it's not so bad.
My wife did not have our daughter young, but she bounced back.
She's always been very conscious of her figure, and thank heavens.
Thanks.
Thanks, James.
Appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll give you this one.
This is a guy.
I was actually concerned he was going to do some serious damage in his romantic relationship.
Not emotional damage either.
And confronting somebody who's got that level of rage was quite something.
It was quite something.
You know, sometimes I really earn my keep.
Sometimes I really, really earn my keep.
And that was one.
I don't think it's going to go out to the general population because it was just it's too savage.
It's too savage.
All right, here we go.
I will give this... Help Me With My Rage or something like that is what it's called.
I'll give you the link here.
Yeah, lack of breastfeeding and so on.
Uh, it's, uh, it's tough.
It's tough.
I'm actually glad that I didn't have more musical talent.
You mentioned a call-in show where the wife was managing her in-laws.
Did that ever get released?
I can't find it.
Oh, Lord, I wish... I mean, come on, man.
I've got hundreds of call-in shows that I never released.
I can't possibly tell you that.
I can't.
No, this isn't published yet.
This isn't published.
I'm just going to give it to you guys for showing up tonight and showing the love and the support for the show.
So I'll give you the link in here.
All right.
Here's another question.
What are your thoughts on the idea of closure?
This is in relation to your advice during a call-in show a few years back.
To not try to figure out people in order to manage your anxiety.
I agree with this principle but find that trying to figure people out is also done in order to understand where relationships went wrong and find closure.
What is the dividing line between figuring people out to find closure versus managing anxiety?
All right, I'm going to ask you, if you don't mind, just don't share this one.
This is a wild, like, beyond wild call-in show.
This is the kind of call-in show that if I'd known in advance what I was dealing with, I probably wouldn't have taken it.
But once we were already in, that's right there.
Once we were already in, I'm like, OK, well, I can't stop now.
Plus, there were two kids, two little kids involved and a lot of violence in the household.
A lot of violence in the household.
Anyway, sent a $10 donation at FDR, donating at the end of the month as well.
Thank you, thank you so much.
I really, really do appreciate that.
It's wonderfully kind.
Thank you.
I really, really do appreciate that.
It's very much needed.
Yeah.
Don't share, it's already trending on Twitter.
Yeah, it's funny, it's funny, I see every now and then, I see myself floating up in Twitter, still getting good views, and it's funny because it was a debate I had with a Jewish fellow from many years ago, and it was like shot on a potato cam, and it was just like, and it's like, all the effort I put into high quality audio and video, and it's like, boom!
Just these old potato cam debates show up, and it's kind of funny.
Here's the tip.
I think it works right.
I got the tip.
Thank you so much.
All right.
So I want to make sure I understand your question here.
The idea of closure.
Okay.
Advice during a call-in show.
Try not to figure people out in order to manage your anxiety.
I agree with this principle, but find that trying to figure people out is also done in order to understand where relationships went wrong and find closure.
Where relationships went wrong.
The Twitter post about daycare is terrible.
So many people working so the kid spends time with strangers.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm still looking to see evidence of this sort of built-in parental bonding stuff.
It doesn't seem to be much of a thing.
Missed your voice, Steph.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Happy to have you typing.
I love your font, baby.
Your font does things to me that should be illegal in at least half the states in the southern US.
What went wrong in relationships?
What went wrong in relationships?
I just did a show today, I haven't released it yet, where I was answering questions.
Yeah, ask me to remember out of thousand, like out of 7,000 shows, not really gonna happen, but I'll tell you this.
Would you like to know the one thing, and it's not an emotion, it's a state of mind, it's an intellectual process.
Would you like to know the one thing that guarantees the failure of a relationship?
The one thing that if you don't get it right, and when I say this, you will absolutely completely and totally get this.
What is the one thing that if you don't get it right, everything is going to go wrong?
Uh, just while you're typing that.
Uh, I tip five bucks, thank you.
Have you ever seen Bo Burnham do a skit called Country Song making fun of the formula and fake cowboys on private jets?
You know, I gotta tell ya, I find that makin' fun of country songs is kinda boring.
You know, make fun of rappin'.
You know, that's, uh... Make fun of rappin'.
You've got me, right?
Okay, yeah, you wanna know?
Nah, I... Alright, what do you got?
Empathy?
Nope.
Conflict resolution?
Nope.
Not believing them when they tell you bad stuff?
Nope.
Your kid's lying?
Nope.
No.
IQ?
Nope.
Physical attraction?
No.
Anniversary?
Forgetting anniversary, yeah, maybe.
Alright.
Being able to give and take feedback?
No.
Value?
No.
What do you think about moms who run their own daycare and have their kids in it?
Fine.
Be better if they were just having their own kids, though.
Alright, I will tell you.
Alright.
For the men!
For the sausage holders.
For the men here, what is it that defines love for you in a practical sense?
How do you know if you're loved?
What does your woman do, or your man for that matter, let's just go traditional, what do your women do that makes you feel loved?
And for the women, M, if you're a man, M, what does she do, W for women, what does he do that make you feel loved?
Where you say, wow, I really feel loved, right?
I don't care how rude you get, I really don't care how rude you get.
Appreciation?
Okay, but... Oh, that's, like, yeah.
What is it that... The ability to correct?
I think you mean connect.
M sex question mark.
Dude, how on earth can I work with that?
I'm asking you to tell me what has you feel love and you have a question mark?
Is it a sexy question mark?
Is the question mark big boobs?
Is that the graphic you're trying to show me?
Guys, I asked you for M versus W. M versus W. Please try and listen.
I'm trying to help the show.
If you're a man, M. If you're a woman, W.
It's really not that complicated.
It's the one thing.
One thing I ask for.
I ask for one thing.
And donations, right?
Okay, we'll survive.
We'll survive.
It's just kind of funny.
Hey man, you can't tell me what to do.
I'm a libertarian.
All right.
Show gratitude.
Compliment me and defer to my judgment.
Loyalty, active listening, yummy food, physical affection, and valuing my feedback.
Blow jobs and then cook food.
Hopefully not at the same time.
Hmm, let me taste this steak.
Meat is bloody.
Uh, M, sexual favors, alright.
Um, doing something thoughtful for me, being a healthy person around me, uh, that's a woman.
Yeah, the fact that you give me M later does not help me, because then I gotta go back up and correlate it with your previous type.
God, people.
How about, I feel loved if you listen to my instructions and make my job slightly easier.
M, sexual favors, women, safety and security, listening, M, so everyone's saying M, excellent.
Doing something thoughtful for me, being a healthy person around me, alright.
Male, house organized, surprise, physical affection, support of my ideas, right.
So, let me ask you this.
Have you ever had it where
The woman says, I need to feel close, I need to feel emotionally connected in order to have sex.
And the man says, I need to have sex in order to feel emotionally connected.
Or, the woman says, I want to tell you my problems without you solving my issues.
Because solving seems kind of patriarchal and paternal and kind of condescending.
I just need you to listen and support me.
Whereas the man says, if I love you, I solve your problems.
I, you know, if you're driving and there's a log in the road, I'll get out and move the log out of the way.
For me to love you is to solve your problems.
Whereas for the woman to be loved is to just be listened to.
If that makes sense, right?
The ability to be vulnerable about that person.
Physical affection, M. Oh, Danny, I asked for M and then it, but you gave me an M. You gave me an M, so that's something.
I appreciate that.
A woman's security.
Male, excited when I'm there.
Male, and being grateful and appreciated for doing what is needed to provide a home.
Male, she's silly around me.
Okay, okay.
So we've heard of these kinds of things, right?
I had the opposite problem.
If I'm not heard, sex drives me away from the relationship.
Sex drives me away from the region?
What does that mean?
It means you have sex but in a car driving away?
How well hung are you?
Right.
What breaks up a relationship is a lack of agreement on definitions.
Steph, how much should you let a woman talk on her first date?
What, are you going in with a plunger and some duct tape?
Don't do that.
What do you mean, let a woman talk?
You let her be herself and see if you like her.
If she talks all the time and never asks you about anything, then you can make your decisions.
I don't know what you mean, let a woman talk.
What, are you going to tackle her?
Just keep feeding her?
Here, have some more fries.
I'm sorry, I don't know what that means.
Definitions!
Do you both agree what it means to be loved?
Do you both agree what it means to be loved?
Now, you all had some practical shit here, man!
Appreciation, sex, food, security... My gosh, are you all... you're all just... you're all just...
Not a thing about virtue?
Being appreciated for my virtues?
What is it that makes you feel loved?
Being appreciated for my virtues?
Like, not one person says to the moral philosopher who defines, love is our involuntary response to virtue.
If we have virtue, it's not one person says anything about virtue!
I'm coming over there and I am taking away your Christmas presents.
Oh, that is very funny.
Oh, we still have so much work to do.
We still have so much work to do.
I mean, not one person threw me a frickin' bone.
Throw me a frickin' bone here.
Not one person threw me a bone.
It was like, blowjobs.
Anything to do with Virgil?
No.
Blowjob.
Hummers.
Blowjobs.
Sometimes hummers.
Maybe a handjob.
Six pack.
Sandwich.
Silence.
Like, oh my god.
Staff, happy Friday, I'm changing my oil while listening to the greatest show in the world.
Right.
So, if you don't have the same definitions... So, for instance, if a man says to a woman, I don't like you dressing this way, like a man says to his girlfriend, I don't like you, this dress is too revealing, is he trying to protect her, or is he trying to control her?
Right?
I'm sure it's frustrating, but that made me laugh.
Hookers and Blow?
Oh yeah, that's from back in the day.
We listen to the show because we haven't got it yet.
Right.
So, is it controlling?
Right?
You know the old thing that for a woman to have standards is healthy, for a man to have standards means he's a controlling patriarch?
Do you have the same definition of sacrifice?
Do you have the same definition of love?
Do you have the same definition of support?
Now, it doesn't have to be the same for both of you, right?
So, for a man, support might be solving my problems.
For a woman, support might be listening.
But do you both have the same definitions that you agree on of the words that are the foundation of the relationship?
So, for instance, people cheat in relationships because they don't have the same definition of monogamy.
So, for one person, monogamy is no cheating.
The other person is, well, monogamy can include cheating.
So, shared values, but values rely on definitions.
Definitions and relationships are the same thing.
If you can't meet in definitions, you can't overlap in relationships.
I fully understand everything.
Teach me.
Teach me.
Do you have the same definitions?
Do you have the same definitions of what it is to be a good partner?
Do you have the same definitions of what it is to be a good parent?
Do you have the same definitions of abuse?
Right?
He's so controlling and abusive.
Why?
Because he told me not to go into a bad section of town wearing a miniskirt?
And it's like, no, he's trying to help you.
He's trying to protect you.
Like what happened to that Destiny guy and his Swedish wife.
Oh God, I was supposed to have a debate with him many moons ago.
I can't even remember why it didn't happen now.
But... Yeah, so he ended up in an open relationship, right?
Which is not a relationship.
It's a... It's a drive-thru.
It's a train-thru.
It's a driving train-thru.
So... And she ended up going off with some other skinny guy and, right?
In my view, in my view, and this could of course, just my particular view, but I would say that, yeah, we do have the same definitions of success in a marriage.
He took her, oh he, so Destiny took his ex-wife from another guy and then she went off with some other guy.
I don't know, this open relationship stuff, maybe I'm just an old fart in old fashion, but this, um, it's completely insane to me.
I can't imagine how anyone thinks this is any kind of, oh, what does situationship mean?
Is this just a come and go?
We don't know if we're in or we're out, like Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big kind of thing.
But for a woman to, for a woman to have a man in her life who says, I'm totally happy to open you up to other men.
That's the ultimate non-protecting, non-pair bonding thing, right?
You tried it, it was disastrous?
Yeah, it's just horrible.
Absolutely horrible.
And that's treating marriage as a convenience for your own hedonism rather than something that is designed to protect children, right?
The whole purpose of marriage is to protect children.
And you can't do that.
I mean, it just can't work.
So, if you have an open relationship, if you're a guy, you have an open relationship, either your wife doesn't like the other guys as much as she likes you, in which case she might as well be with you, or she likes them more than you, in which case she's gonna leave you.
Situationship equals good enough for now, not likely to last.
Oh, it means fuck buddies?
Yeah, alright.
Some people have kids in an open relationship, yeah?
Some people have kids in an open relationship and don't even know who the father is, right?
I was asked to be friends with benefits by an ex.
I told her to have more respect for herself and then realized it was a bad idea to stay friends with her.
Now, do you know why your ex offered you friends with benefits?
Do you know why?
Do you have any idea why she did that?
I know why.
Why did you, why did you, why does an ex offer friends with benefits?
Why does an ex offer friends with benefits?
Thank you very much for your tip, I appreciate that.
Merry Christmas back to you guys as well.
Open relationships for men is dumb unless you're a total Chad, but it's terrible.
If you're a total Chad, you should get the highest quality woman and become a father.
The idea that masculinity is sex, not fatherhood, is a completely bizarre invention of the modern world.
Masculinity is fatherhood, protection, provision, mentoring.
It's not shooting and squirting.
It's not the spray and pray, right?
Why?
Why?
No!
I mean, it could be, it could be that she, you know, baby jail or whatever it is.
No, no, no.
She offers you sex with benefits.
She offers you friendship with benefits.
So that you're crippled and sabotaged.
So you can't be around and pair bond with a new girl.
So you can't get into a new relationship.
No.
All she's doing is sabotaging you.
Just sabotaging you.
She knows that no woman of any quality is going to want to have anything to do with you if you're banging your ex.
Yeah, if your ex is sniffing around.
So you're either going to lie or you're going to tell the truth.
Are you seeing anyone?
Yes, I'm having empty, meaningless, stupid sex with my ex.
Oh, bye.
Right.
Or, so you either lie
And you are hiding her in which case you're not emotionally available to have her you're dating or or You tell some of the truth and no, it's just sabotage It's just sabotage
Somebody says, I was adopted.
My mother was not sure who our father was.
And aunt says it was probably one guy.
Now that we're over 40, she can see him in us.
Terrible not knowing things.
Yeah, it is.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm really sorry about that.
That also makes sense.
Like a mom, but worse because she'll be around your whole life.
Yeah, it's, um, it's terrible.
So, when you say, where did the relationship go wrong?
If you think about your relationships, your relationships went wrong because you couldn't agree on definitions, and you fought over those definitions.
So, for instance, the woman I was going to marry, for a variety of reasons it failed, one of the main reasons it failed is that we didn't have the same definitions of contribution.
Right?
The word contribution was used in very different ways.
So, for me, contribution was paying the bills.
For her, contribution was, forget about the bills, you have to do half the housework.
And I was like, well, no.
I mean, it's two of us, pretty small place, only one, we just had the ground floor of her little house.
It's like two hours of housework a day.
I'm working 10 to 12 hours a day.
So I'm doing six times more work than you.
And if I then also do another hour of homework, then I'm doing 13 hours a day.
You're doing one.
I'm doing 13 times more than you.
13 times is not an equal contribution.
So a relationship starts with a dictionary.
No.
No, because it's personal.
We didn't have the same definition of contribution.
It's big, right?
If you don't have the same definitions, you can't have a relationship.
I mean, you can stagger along, and it's a conflict.
All the conflicts are about, well, I'm defining being there for somebody else.
Like, so for some women, being there for me means validating my feelings, whereas for men, being there means telling me the objective truth, and people get into problems about this all the time.
All the time.
For a man, support means take care of the place, give me honest feedback,
Be enthusiastic about what I'm doing, but if I'm screwing up, let me know, right?
That's what support means for men, for many men.
For women, often support means, tell me I'm fine, tell me I'm looking great, even if I gained weight, tell me that I'm just as pretty as the day we met, even though it's 20 years later, right?
Lie to me!
Lie to me, I promise, I'll believe.
Lie to me, but please don't leave.
Right, so, for a man, support is, tell me the truth.
Be enthusiastic, tell me the truth.
For a woman, for some women, not all, obviously, but for women, support means, tell me everything's gonna be okay, right?
So, when you go to a man in an uncertain situation and you say, hey man, everything's gonna be okay, what do men say?
What
Do men say, if you're in an ambiguous situation, and somebody says, hey man, everything's gonna be okay.
Men say, you can't promise me that.
We don't know that.
I don't know that.
I don't know that.
Like, when I was gold panning in the middle of nowhere, and it seemed like there was a big creature sniffing around our tent, we didn't sit there and say, oh, it's a moose, it's a caribou, it's a fox, it's fine, everything's fine.
No, I grabbed the shotgun and we got a flashlight and we saw a bear.
Right?
So, for men, hey man, it's an ambiguous, unknown situation, but everything's going to be fine.
Men say, what are you talking about?
You don't know that?
Like, who are you to say that?
You don't know that?
What are you talking about?
You can't possibly know that.
Now, for
Women who are in ambiguous situations, a lot of women, not all, a lot of women genuinely take comfort in someone saying, it's all going to work out, everything's going to be fine.
Am I wrong?
Ladies, if I'm wrong, I'm not saying you're this way, but a lot of women are, hey, just tell me everything's going to be fine.
Just tell me everything's going to be fine.
And then the big choice for men is like, am I going to comfort her with bullshit?
Am I going to pretend to know something I just don't know?
I don't really know that I got... Yes, honey.
Absolutely.
Everything's going to be fine.
Don't you worry about a thing.
It's all going to work out.
I'm just going to gaslight you.
I'm going to lie and pretend I have knowledge that I don't have.
Right?
Does that make sense?
Again, lots of exceptions, but that seems to be
So we have different definitions of what is meant by support.
For a woman in the tent, big creature sniffing around, just tell me everything's going to be fine.
That's called supportive.
For a man, it's like, hand me the shotgun and make sure it's loaded.
That's what it means to be supported.
I don't agree with that, just me.
I don't mean to laugh but it is kind of funny.
Another thing is that when a man hears a general principle he compares it to
The truth.
He compares it to statistics, he compares it to a wide sample.
What does a woman do most times when she hears a generalization?
What does a woman do when she hears a generalization versus what a man does?
Oh, we know this one, right?
We know this one, right?
Yeah, they take it personally, right?
So, a woman will compare a generalized statement to herself.
And the truth of the generalized statement is dependent upon whether it fits her personality or not.
Like, you all know the... I can't remember if I've talked about this before...
So a man hears a general statement and he compares it to a wide experience, he compares it to things that he's heard, things that he's known, and to other people.
He's comparing it to the world as a whole.
When a woman hears a generalized statement, she says, hmm, yeah, that doesn't apply to me.
I mean, for women, generalized statements are per capita of one.
Often, again, there's exceptions.
No, it's not just feelings.
And this is not, yeah, well, not all, yeah, yeah.
Says who?
I've never heard of that.
So do you all know the Lego experiment, boys and girls?
Hit me with a why if you've heard me talk about the Lego experiment.
It's really fascinating.
And none of this is negative towards women.
None of this is negative towards women.
Women are wonderful.
It's the combined choices and picks of women that has given us the most incredible brains in the universe.
So, none of this is negative towards women, just to be clear, right?
But it's important to know the differences, right?
Okay.
So...
Oh, so one of the differences is that men hunt, so men have to deal with probabilities, right?
Men hunt, so men have to deal with probabilities in generalized statements, right?
What is the odds?
How close can I get before I throw the spear?
So we have to deal with probabilities and weight calculations and so on.
And we also have to compare people's success rate over time.
So we give the person who's most accurate with the spear, we give him the spear so that he gets the food.
And whereas women don't compare to generals an average and they just they taste the berry.
Is it good?
Is it bad?
Does it help medicine?
So it's about personal experience.
Nothing wrong with that, right?
Okay, so...
Back in the day, I don't know exactly when, there was a fairly large experiment and they gave a Batman Lego set to a large group of boys and they gave a Batman Lego set to a large group of girls.
Right?
Now, the boys played as Batman, right?
So the boys were like, Batman jumps up to the top and then he jumps down and his car races off and he runs over the criminal and then he grabs them and he grapples them, right?
So they played, they got into Batman's world and they played as Batman in Batman's world doing Batman things, right?
Now, that's not what the girls did.
Again, I know this sounds negative.
It's not at all negative.
It's just, these are the facts.
So what the girls did was instead of going into Batman's world and playing Batman, doing Batman things, what the girls did was they turned Batman into them.
They had Batman go grocery shopping and have a tea party and they had Batman do, they had Batman do each other's hair, right?
They turned Batman into themselves.
Somebody's given me the link here.
Let me just double check I got this right.
Oh, this post is from a suspended account!
Excellent.
I'll be right back on Twitter.
Let me just go and activate my account again.
So, the boys entered into Batman's universe and the girls drew Batman into their universe.
They castrated him.
Oh, Dave, gosh, stop judging and be curious.
It is hilarious.
So that's so funny, right?
So Dave is like, oh, they castrated him.
They emasculated poor Batman.
And the woman is like, that's hilarious.
And it is.
It is hilarious.
I think it's beautiful.
I mean, criticizing women is criticizing yourself, man.
We are all, you and I, all the dudes here, all the Sausage Fest party members here, we're all the result of female choices.
You criticize women, you're just criticizing yourself, because we are shadows cast by the preferences of females, right?
So it is hilarious, isn't it?
I mean, it is hilarious, the Batman tea party, the Batman beauty salon, the Batman doing Robin's nails.
I think that's fantastic!
That's hilarious!
I really, really think.
Oh, it was a joke?
Okay.
Yeah, so that's a difference.
It's an important difference, it's a sort of vivid and powerful difference, but a woman will draw you into her world, a man will go out and try to enter and work with the world, right?
It's why you love.
Listen.
Do you know how culture gets reproduced?
Culture gets reproduced by women absorbing the males and spitting them out in their own image.
And the females too.
Batman spot A!
That is the sound his eyelashes make.
That's very good.
That's very cute.
No, so why do we have language?
Why do we have all of this great civilization?
I mean, have you ever seen how bachelors live?
Oh man.
So there's this battle, right?
So you know there's this cliche about how bachelors live, which is
A woman posts like, a man can literally be happy with this, and it's a giant TV and a couch in a big house, everything's empty.
There's a giant TV, there's a couch, and even the boxes are off to one side, right?
Man gets, he plays some Xbox or whatever, watches some video, and he's eating his ramen noodles or takeout or whatever, and so men will literally be happy with this, right?
Or was that Babylon Bee article?
Treacherous husband foolishly puts the throw pillows on the bed in the wrong position.
And so when, I think it was a woman who posted this, men will literally be happy just living like this!
Bear room, couch, big TV.
And the men underneath were posting like, it enrages women how little it takes to make us happy, right?
It's true!
Bachelorly here.
Office, man cave, and bedroom.
Fits into any 8x12 space.
Jeez.
I'm such a bro.
Like, I'm such a dude.
I woke up once with a pigeon on my chest.
I don't know if you can't hear the story if it matters.
But, uh, I'm... I'm so... I was so bro'd out and such a bachelor.
Yeah, guys really live in apartments like this and don't see any issue.
Yep.
Lazy boy.
TV.
That's it.
Nothing on the walls.
You don't paint.
There's no decoration.
And what do you have for plates?
You have whatever you don't know how you got.
Right?
That's dudes with plates.
I have no idea why I have this.
Nothing matches.
Some of it has chips and cracks, but they're mostly worn away.
They don't cut me anymore.
And if you ask, you ask my wife where these shoes came from, she'll have a whole, like, history.
She'll have a lineage.
She'll have charts.
She'll have a whole family tree.
When I was a bachelor, I had no idea why I had most of what I had.
I don't know if it was given to me.
It could have been there when I moved in.
I might have just accumulated it over time.
How?
Why?
I never bought anything.
I just had shit.
Maybe my mom gave me some.
I have no idea.
Why do I have this?
I don't know!
I have a set of plates I never use to add to my datability.
Nice.
Um, my, uh, my daughter, my daughter now, I mean she went through, you know, tomboy phase and all of that, but my daughter is now, you know what she wants for Christmas?
Do you know what she wants for Christmas?
You'll never, you'll never guess in a million years.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, maybe I'll work on debunking that study.
So my daughter, for Christmas, wants... A bulldozer.
Shoes?
No.
She wants bowls.
No, way past the dragon phase.
She wants bowls.
She really, really likes bowls.
And I said, well, why don't I just get you some, you know, sensible shoes and socks?
Because, you know, can you imagine you're a bachelor or you're a dude and someone gives you a bowl or a couple of bowls for... I already have a bowl.
This is a bachelor mindset.
Why would I need another one?
I already have one.
No, just bowls.
Just bowls.
And I said, that's the most depressing thing I've ever heard of.
Bowls?
Like decorated ramen bowls?
I don't know, man.
We're gonna go and get them, but he just... He wants bowls.
It's a mystery.
But, you know, women are delightfully incomprehensible and I love them to death and... Have you heard bolts at first?
Bolts of cloth or crossbow bolts?
Like handcrafted pottery?
I don't know, Jared!
I don't know!
I don't know what he wants!
But his bowls...
I'm just traumatized by bowls because I had the most terrible food when I was growing up, but I would get them in bowls and you'd have to eat till you could see the picture at the bottom and I just hated the food that I grew up, so.
Fancy Japanese bowls or the plastic ones?
I don't know!
Thank you, DJ, I really appreciate that.
Merry Christmas back to you and your family as well.
Thank you so much.
The issue is I need them to match my original, so a different set of bowls I'd give to roommates.
Matching.
Okay, so I lived in an apartment, young and Eglinton, and I was on the 18th floor, and I don't think it had air conditioning, or the air conditioning didn't work very well, so I'd leave my balcony door open, and sometimes I'd snack in my bedroom.
This is long before I was married.
Now, and ever since the moment I met my wife, I never eat anything in the bedroom.
In any way shape or form.
The only thing I do is I eat stuff that doesn't crumble over the sink with the carburetor running and the water running.
And then I shower right afterwards.
Or stand outside in the rain just in case there are any residual crumbs.
Because if I, if my wife ever had to choose between having a husband or a crumb free house
I don't know, man.
It would really depend on how funny I'd been that day, but it would be touch-and-go.
Like, it would be... It would be touch-and-go.
But back then, I would snack!
And so... And, of course, I would snack.
And I... I had... I think I had a vacuum cleaner.
Did I have a vacuum cleaner?
Probably not.
Maybe.
Anyway, so... I left my balcony door open.
There was food that led a pigeon into my bedroom.
And I woke up, you know, you feel those bird claws on your chest, you know, as you do, and you wake up.
And of course, when I told this story to my daughter, she was like, cool, greatest day ever.
Right.
And I said, yeah.
So then I had breakfast.
Yes.
The pigeon on the chest story.
Yes.
It got tangled in my chest here.
I mean, I don't have a lot of chest here.
But I got a little bit there, so... yeah.
I also had, and this is when I realized I was just too bacheloring.
You can over-bachelor, right?
You can absolutely over-bachelor.
And I realized when I was over-bacheloring, the light in my kitchen went out, and so for a while I used, like you know, when the light in your kitchen goes out, it's a rental, you're a bachelor, you don't replace it, what do you do?
You use the fridge light.
You open the door, you get what you need.
Well, the door's open, the door closes, and hopefully you've got what you need.
Then the fridge light went out, and so then you use the oven light.
And I used the oven light for a while and then the oven light went out and then it was just darkness.
And I remember I wanted some bread and peanut butter and it was too dark to find it.
And this is before cell phones and flashlights and all that.
Not before flashlights, but before the cell phones with the flashes.
So I had no light.
I had no light.
And I couldn't do the whole light because
That didn't come in and just occluded things more so I've realized what I needed to do was I used one of those electric coil stoves I rolled up some newspaper and I was in my underpants boxers.
I think and I put the rolled up newspaper on The heater on the stove and it lit it up and I was squatting down and groping around in the cupboards for the peanut butter and the bread and I
I didn't refer to it as a knife because that would indicate more than one.
My knife.
My knife.
Me and good ol' Kniffy, my best friend.
Anyway, fortunately I had an out-of-body experience and I saw myself, like a freakin' subhuman caveman, grubbin' around in a cave.
And I was like, dude, you may have over-bachelored.
At this particular moment, you have over-bachelored.
It's like my roommate, who would travel around dirt cheap, and at one point he was in the middle of the Mojave Desert, pounding on a tin of beans with a rock, and he's like, yeah, I've over-bachelored.
And it's pretty rough.
It's pretty rough.
Has house staff stayed slim as a bachelor?
I understand.
That's awful south of the equator of you.
Oog want peanut butter.
Oog need fire.
Oog cannot find pigeon to gnaw on.
Did women react poorly to your bachelor pad?
Well, I think that the kindest word that I could possibly use with regards to how the women viewed my bachelor pad was potential.
That it had potential.
Because I didn't say it was good, I just said it was me.
Now, when a man says, it's not good, it's just me, the woman keys into that as, he has potential.
He has potential.
Molyneux's cave.
Yes, Plato and Diogenes both agree.
Yeah, basically I leveled up to Ultimate Bachelor.
I, in fact, was going to do a documentary many years ago.
My friends and I joked about it many years ago.
And the documentary was Raised by Bachelors.
And it was going to be like, we were going to get kids with terrible stories about, I was raised by bachelors, you know?
And it was going to be like, well, he didn't do the laundry, but he would give me these dryer sheets to rub under my armpits.
You know, just things like that.
We didn't have pets, we did have pass-through livestock, like pigeons, like, just, uh, yeah, I mean, we could hunt for things, and sometimes, um, oh yeah, um, scrape the fur.
You know, if there was stuff, and we were hungry, he'd just say scrape the fur.
And it was just gonna be these kids raised by bachelors, it was really...
Somewhere I've got a script for it, and we never got around to doing it, of course, but it was... Raised by Bachelors would have been very, very funny.
I think maybe somebody will do it at some point, but that was something else.
All right.
Anybody who wants to tip me for this historical comedy routine, please...
I remember, so I was, the reason I ended up in this apartment was to be rented it for the company so I was off-site, and anyway, to do research and development, and I remember one of my employees, a woman came over and she kept vanishing a couple of times over the course of the day, I didn't know where she went, and she went downstairs to the
To the local fairly grimy coffee shop to go to the bathroom rather than risk using my bathroom.
Now, listen, I knew people were coming over so I cleaned up and all that kind of stuff, but...
She's like, no, I'll take my chances with the hobos.
I'll take my chances with the hobos, so other than risk bachelor... Hobo bathrooms are better than bachelor bathrooms, you know, because if you... I may have to step over a heroin addict in order to get to the washroom, but at least it's not a bachelor bathroom.
All right, let's see here.
I've had one item in my cabinet for most of this year, the large Morton salt shaker.
When she says, as long as you're happy, that's bad news.
Yes, because what she, you know what, as long as you're happy as well, if you're happy when I'm not happy, I'm gonna note that and make you pay forever.
Steph, with regards to having shared definitions, how do you determine which definition is more valid than the other once you find a disagreement?
Well, I think you want your
I mean, it's a challenge.
So, men and women have to celebrate masculinity and femininity without losing either.
I celebrate femininity, I keep it at a fairly incomprehensible distance, and I live, like I call it, I've mentioned this before, but I live in paradise, like now, compared to this platonic, dead-eyed hovel of a
Fiery torch and pigeon-filled cave of nothingness is a bachelor.
I live in paradise.
I call it girly world.
Girly world is absolutely beautiful.
In girly world, like, the sheets move.
You can get them apart.
In girly world, towels bend.
It's incredible.
In girly world, everything smells not just okay,
It smells great.
I don't know how it smells so great.
I don't see any evidence of patchouli or incense, but everything just smells great.
Everything is clean.
Everything is beautiful.
And, um, I don't get skin rashes.
Like girly world is beautiful, man.
I live in paradise.
I don't understand how it happens.
My wife doesn't seem that busy.
I assume mommy used to joke about marriage elves.
I didn't just marry her.
I married a bunch of marriage elves.
I open drawers and there's stuff in there.
It's incredible.
I mean, every time I walk into a room, it's like, did Architectural Digest just finish a shoot here?
Like, why does this look so good?
There's nothing on the floor but the carpet.
I mean, when I was a bachelor, I tripped while eating a bowl of spaghetti and sauce, and I can't even tell you, because I can't even remember how long that sauce stayed on the wall, it was like... My friends referred to it as CSI blood spatters, you know?
From the spatter mark, you can see that the padding happened here, the arc goes this way, it's like, and eventually it's like, well I suppose if I invite a woman over,
Probably blood spatters above the couch are probably not what she first wants to see.
Unless she does, in which case, I'm in trouble.
So, yeah.
Like, everything is beautiful.
Everything.
The only parts that aren't beautiful, and I won't show you at the moment, is the studio.
And the studio is man cave.
She doesn't come in here.
She's like, that's your planet.
That's your world.
It ain't girly world in here.
It's man world!
And man world is cables.
And man world is rough carpets.
And man world is stuff that you can't even remember why you have it in the box over there in the corner.
Man world.
Stuff within reach.
Nothing cleared off.
I know where everything is.
Nothing moves.
What's in here?
Chair.
Microphone.
Other microphone.
Cursed backup.
Other receiver.
Can't remember why I have it down here.
It's not the receiver I'm using right now.
There is a coffee heater for warm coffee.
There is.
My.
My book.
My book.
The Art of the Argument!
You should get it.
It's a great book, by the way.
Artoftheargument.com.
I have monitors.
Many monitors.
Why?
Because it's really cool watching the mouse cursor jump space.
Go from one monitor to another across empty space.
Yeah, this is Man World.
I have books down here that I used to use to prop up a camera approximately 4,000 years ago.
Will these books... Why are they here?
I have Weapons of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto.
I have...
The highly annotated Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War by Patrick Buchanan with all of my notes because I did a show on it approximately 450,000 years ago.
Why is it still here?
It's here because this is man world!
But I don't eat.
I don't eat down here.
Got yours right there.
All right.
Good stuff.
That's a great cover.
That's a great cover.
Good thing you're in Canada.
You can get away with a little mess.
Can't really do that if you live where roaches are.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
When we used to be, like, in warmer climates, my wife was like, everything must be sealed.
Everything.
Must.
Be.
Sealed.
Everything must be rinsed.
Everything goes in a box.
If you want cereal, it's like breaking into Fort Knox.
You have to sacrifice a kidney and one goat to the gods of box opening, and then you have to put the dead goat in a box as well, because bugs.
So.
Uh, visiting my bachelor friend made me appreciate girly world on another level.
How, what, where is everything was my reaction to his kitchen.
Uh, yeah, John Taylor Gatto is good.
It's good.
It's a good book.
It's a good book.
I mean, nothing particular changes, but.
Oh yeah, she's right.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
What is it?
Palmetto bugs?
What are the giant cockroaches that look like you could ride and tell everyone that the British are coming?
Those things are like really creepy.
Really horrifying.
No, she is right.
She's absolutely right.
My skin is better.
You know, like a girly world, she doesn't just terraform the environment, she terraforms me completely.
You know, I'm on good supplements, I eat better, my skin is clearer, my vision is great, and all of that, so... Do you think that the school bells teach this kid that finishing things isn't important?
No, the school bell just teaches children that they're completely under the control.
Yeah, palmetto bugs will send grown men screaming.
I don't mind a palmetto bug if I have a baseball bat.
My friend had a Mount Everest of dirty clothes in the living room.
So the ultimate example of girly world versus man world is the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind with Richard Dreyfuss.
Do you remember that?
That movie, right?
He makes a mountain of... He's got a vision, he's got an obsessive vision, so he's like, hey, I'm gonna make a mountain in the living room because obsessive, right?
I can tell who owns the Airbnb before I even enter it, yeah?
Absolutely.
Now, I'm still waiting for... No, so Boy World, you know, Boy World is like organized thoughts and arguments and hopefully some charisma, some good humor, like you enjoy watching the show, listening to it and all of that.
And...
So, boy world ads, and she would very much appreciate what boy world ads, as long as boy world is kept behind a closed door.
But, yeah, girly world?
It's beautiful, man.
It's a beautiful place, and I would never in a million years have it if I didn't have a wife who is wonderful at homemaking.
I mean, tell me this.
If you're a dude, if you're a dude, do you make the bed?
Just answer.
Nobody's looking.
Just answer.
Just tell me.
Do you make the bed?
I wanna know.
Do you make the bed?
Because you know what men say, and it's pretty predictable, right?
What men say is, Hey man, it's just going to get messy again.
So you create a tunnel, right?
You create a tunnel.
20% of the time.
Yeah.
You create a tunnel.
It's like, it's like a sword in a scabbard, man.
I slide into that tunnel and that's it.
Right.
But it does something to your brain to have a messy room, a messy bed.
It does something to your brain to have a messy room that you pass by.
Um, my wife makes a bed in the morning.
It's got a cover you don't use.
Only when I wash Betty.
My bed is made, but I still sleep on the couch.
Just throwing the blanket in the air so it sort of flattens out the couch.
So making the bed is a multi-dimensional thing.
So first of all, you have to basically iron all the sheets.
And then you put the covers on, and they're layers, and then you put something called an Ida-Dan on.
Now an Ida-Dan is not something you sleep under, it's there to look good.
It's like makeup for your bed.
You don't sleep with it on.
It just looks good.
And then you get more pillows known to mankind.
You get a little forklift truck.
You put all the pillows in just the right way so they spell out a cry for help from the OCD gods.
And it's beautiful, man.
I go past the bedroom.
I have to get something from the bedroom.
I like, will sit there and go, man, this is beautiful in here.
I disturb it with my man ripples.
Like it's it's like you know what the my wife's the beautiful stuff my wife does in the house is like the perfect reflection of a sunset on a lake and I'm just this giant rock goes kaboom kaboom and just like shatters the whole thing like yeah it doesn't it doesn't look as good and doesn't smell as good and it's just not as good after I pass through.
It's just the reality it's a cross that we both bear but really the bedroom bears it more so.
Yeah, I'm sure she knows.
Yeah, once a week you make the bed, right?
Try it!
Honestly, try making the bed.
Just see how you feel, right?
It came after reading something that said if I make the bed mentally it was my first win of the day, setting me up for more wins.
Yeah, could be true, right?
Could be true.
I'd a down head that terms... I'd a down head that term like grandparents generation, silent generation.
Sorry, that's a word salad that I can't quite puzzle out or unpick.
So yeah, no, it's wonderful.
The magic drawers, the clean clothes, the great skin, the better health.
She's just amazing.
She's wonderful, wonderful that way.
I don't comprehend it.
I don't know how she does it, when she does it, does it.
I don't know how it happens.
I don't think I'd ever do it.
But I'm truly overjoyed that it happens.
If I make the bed, I sleep on the couch.
Oh God.
How can you sleep on a couch, man?
You can doze on a couch, but you can't get a good night's sleep on a couch.
Sleeping on a couch is like sleeping on a plane.
You're just kind of half dozing and deferring all of your exhaustion until the next day.
It just makes you groggy.
Couch sleeping is just groggy, because your body's like, well, we're getting up soon, right?
I mean, it's just a siesta.
It's just a siesta, so we don't really need to do this too seriously, do we?
We're not really sleeping.
We're not really sleeping, are we?
It's just a dose.
It's just a dose.
I mean, there was a whole Seinfeld, was it?
No, it was the Friends episode where the girl was just a pig, right?
Hit me with a why if you've ever gone to somebody's place and it ain't great.
And it ain't great.
I do remember one girl I was going out with briefly.
She criticized my place and I'm like, your place smells like cat and there's hair everywhere.
Manuel says, I found a way to make the bed in five seconds.
See, I found a way to make love in five seconds.
That's efficient.
It's like, but it's a whole ritual thing.
You know, I remember this when I was in the play Hurly Burly, uh, when I was younger and the director was like, no, no, no.
It's not, you don't like they're alcoholics.
You don't just drink the whole, you mix the drinks, the whole ritual.
Like it's not just right.
It's the whole thing.
It's not just get the alcohol into your body as quickly as possible.
It's a whole, get the right glass and fill it up just right.
Get the right amount of ice, add the ingredients.
It's a whole ritual.
And so it's such a dude thing to say, well, I do make the bed, but I do it with maximum robotic efficiency.
I bend space and time to my will of eiderdowniness.
So I found a way to make the bed in five seconds.
I keep only a bed sheet and a wool blanket when I go to bed.
I grab another blanket, I wrap myself into it, in the morning I throw the top blanket in the closet, pull the wall back inside, and boom!
Bed is in perfect shape!
It's like a friend of mine used to joke about, you know, you ever have slow eaters and fast eaters, right?
Slow eaters and fast eaters.
So the slow eaters, you know, mmm, I'm just enjoying... I'm enjoying the food, man.
Oh, so nice.
I'm just every dance saver, right?
And another friend of mine is like, alright, so here's what I do, see?
I divide the plate into a series of squares.
I allot a certain amount of time for each square.
It's got to go through like a combine harvester.
You're not lovingly caressing every grain.
You mow, mow, mow, mow!
Get the food in!
Get the fuel in!
I mean, he says you don't go to the gas station and just teacup the gas into the car.
If you could carpet bomb the gas in.
If you could refuel with a helicopter in your car while you were still driving, it's so much better.
Steph Weiss replicated the Lego experiment with his habitat.
Yes, I think you're right.
I think you're right.
The folding of clothes too.
I am going to wear this t-shirt to go to yard work anyways, lol.
Yeah, I can understand that.
My workout wear gets folded.
My workout wear gets folded.
I look like a piece of cubist modern art when I exercise.
And I think, I never smelled myself before I got married.
I'm not saying I never smell, but because I'm in girly world, like when I've had a hard workout and I'm just stinking up the place, I'm like, I don't remember this from before I got married, but now, well, of course, you know, the fainted people all around me give me some sense of what's going on, but I'm like, I don't remember this, but it's kind of unpleasant.
And then because the bathroom is girly world too,
Because the bathroom is girly world and really tidy girly world.
I mean, my wife doesn't leave anything on the counters, right?
Because the bathroom is girly world, I feel I'm soiling the bathroom just by going to bathe.
I have to apologize.
Like, you know, in ancient China, they would apologize to a rock for moving it.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I must move you because I need to plant my rice.
And I'm like saying to the bathtub, like, I'm so sorry.
I must befoul you, but I need to simmer in my own soup to get some semblance of cleanliness.
All right.
I'm probably oversharing.
It happens.
Can't even type without it jumping on me.
Close this window.
I'm typing in.
One guy's place.
I could only sit where the door opened.
Every other space in his room was occupied with mess.
Now, was this a guy who was reformable?
I mean, nothing excites a woman sometimes, even at a deep sexual level, than a guy who can be reformed.
Like, you know, I can fix her, you know, that kind of thing.
With guys, it's like a deeply exciting thing.
I think for women it's like, I took him from caveman to Pierce Brosnan through the sheer force of feminine will.
I think that kind of project is quite exciting.
I like to be repairable.
Slow eaters got made fun of in my high school.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, guys.
Um, ever, uh, ever eat near cops or firemen, they're done in seconds.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
In the midnight hour, she cried, meow, meow, meow.
Oh, that's funny.
Sorry, let me just get your comments here.
We need a home tour now.
Oh yeah, maybe.
Just a tip for the guys in here too, get a tongue scraper.
Yeah, I got turned on to a tongue scraper some years ago and now I'm training my gag reflex.
But yeah, a tongue scraper seems to be like a very good thing to get.
Past that, people, it's easy to mistake your smell for sharing philosophy.
Well, no, they kind of know where I'm coming from here.
You guys seem so emotional.
Oh, you just haven't bathed?
It's not tears, it's like onion.
The onion of your manliness.
Alright.
I had a friend in high school who inhaled his ice cream.
I'm not super slow, but it was bizarre.
Well, you can do that in high school because you don't have tender teeth, right?
You get past 50 and it's like, hmm.
My ice cream is going on a massive pain exploration journey.
It's like a bunch of little atomic sadists going through trying to find any weak spots in your teeth and gums!
I can't even tell you.
The last time I just let ice cream wander around my mouth was probably when I was 35.
Now I'm just too frightened.
You know, like when you do it, the dentist and they're scraping and it's like, ooh, get a little tender there.
I'd really be happy if it stopped getting, oh good, it stopped getting tender.
So yeah, you don't do, you don't do ice cream, hey, let's just let it travel wherever because it's a sadistic little treacly troll horror show from outer space because it's just going to find that one spot and ugh!
Now you're crying, aren't you?
You let your ice cream wander, didn't you?
You're toast now.
And my dad made me a peanut butter and jelly 2.0.
When you close it you get nine different flavor combinations.
Oh yeah.
A woman says I offered to clean the place where I decided in just throwing out empty soda bottles.
At around that point he started crying because me cleaning up distressed him.
Yeah.
I don't get the hoarding thing.
I get the laziness thing.
I get the laziness thing.
Because I'm like, no, no, no, I am traversing the vast interstellar physics-based depths of space and thought and reason and organization and I have entire plots of novels in my head and I have entire philosophical structures arranged like vast chandeliers of multidimensional glory in my brain, but I tripped over the shoes I left by my bed because I forgot they were there.
Or, oh God forgive me.
God forgive me.
He probably won't.
God forgive me I ever don't put something back in my wallet.
You ever had that as a dude?
God help me if I don't put something back in my wallet.
It just despawns.
I literally have to like, oh, uh, I, I took this out to pay for something and I have to say, no, no, open your wallet, put it back, or it's going to despawn.
It's going to vanish.
It's going to vaporize.
It's going to go into that void between the car seats, or it's going to be in some pile of something that's going to be washed and you don't know.
Oh yeah.
It's just, it's ridiculous.
Absolutely ridiculous.
I literally can't separate anything from my wallet or it just goes into another dimension.
And then I've got to make 4,000 phone calls.
All right.
Hi, Steph.
Hello, Billy.
And of course, if you're enjoying this rather goofy and enjoyable little chitchat, you can of course donate here.
You can donate on the app.
You can also donate at freedomain.locals.com.
You can also donate at
All right.
Hi Steph, I'm imagining to watch a movie with my future kid.
Now the question, if suddenly there is not a child-appropriate scene during the movie, should I block the kid's eyes with my hand?
I remember there was a scene in the Titanic film, the one in the car, which I found disturbing when I watched it as a child in the cinema.
So, it's a great question.
And even movies that you watched as a kid, you may have forgotten how inappropriate they can be.
So, you can do, what I do, is I do a search for movie title and appropriate.
And was it Common Sense Media or some places?
They will give you a whole breakdown of everything that happens in the movie that might be inappropriate for children.
So, yes, very much do that search before you watch movies unless there's some real G-rated stuff.
Do that search and all of that.
Truckers eating is so bad, they wrap their arm around their plate like they're guarding it, right?
In high school cafeteria, people got their hands stabbed with a fork for stealing fries?
Wow.
Wow.
My keys have a single place, as does my wallet.
Oh yeah, like... I've never... I've never really...
I've never really been great at remembering where things are, but I've just got this routine, right?
You've got to have a little desk right by the house, you come in, you just empty your pockets, you just empty your pockets, you just empty your pockets, put stuff, put stuff, put stuff.
My wife, lover to death, she has a minor habit of, hey, where are the car keys?
They're in my purse.
Well, why didn't you just tell me you threw them in the sewer?
Because when you have this, if you're a married guy and your wife says, oh, it's just in my purse, I just feel this wave of despair, like wash over me.
I mean, yes, I sent it to an alternate dimension.
You have to climb through a tree with fire to get there, battle four Demogorgons, and it still won't be there.
Because, first of all, I have to find which purse she's talking about.
You know, the black one.
It's like, row, row, row, black purse, right?
And then, even if I somehow magically find the right purse, then I have to find the right place in the purse.
And Lord knows, those purses are like bags of holding, multi-dimensional.
I swear I've seen my wife reach up to her shoulder in a purse that's only six inches deep.
It's just incredible, like what goes on down there.
There's like bats and caves and Mayan civilizations.
And I think I saw someone in a prayer position from Pompeii down in there.
So even if you get to the right purse, finding which one of these seven million pockets and flaps and this and that and the other, I'm just like, nope, I just, yeah, I just can't do it.
I just, I just can't do it.
All right, just read Tarl Warwick got divorced.
I did!
Oh, you all know my weakness for gossip, and it's more than gossip, of course, right?
But I did read something on Twitter about him, like, it wasn't exactly fleeing, but like massively bailing out of
Wasn't he in the Netherlands?
He married some woman the Netherlands.
There's a kid and he got volcanically enraged and like threatening to I don't know have people injured or if they messed with him.
I'm paraphrasing so forgive me if I'm got this wrong and don't put anything I'm saying as gospel, but he really seemed to have something terrible happen and he seemed to almost flee or or get to to America where he bought a bunch of weapons and
He just seemed to go terrible, and that's awful because there's a kid involved, right?
I don't know, man.
It's a shame, too, because, of course, if there's anything I could have done to help, I mean, I like him.
We've done some shows together.
Obviously, I wouldn't have made it a show, but I would have just made it a private convo.
Yeah, it's really, really sad.
You treat that table like the TSA and you're golden.
That's very good.
That's very good.
Yeah, my wife doesn't always appreciate the pat down.
Usually, of course, she does appreciate the pat down.
Raise your hands.
But, you know, it's...
I'm the protector and the provider, and the pat-down is just essential for the security of the household.
And, you know, I do make the rules, but I claim that I don't.
And it's just, that's just the price.
So the price of safety is the pat-down.
And sometimes the pat-down can last for quite a while.
All right.
So, yeah.
And, you know, if he ever hears this, I'd be happy to.
Hugh Jackman recently, too.
Yeah.
Should do a call in.
I mean, if he ever hears this, I'm happy to chat just totally privately and all of that, because that's just really, really terrible.
Because now you've got a kid with parents on opposite sides of the planet, give or take, right?
Probably eight to ten hours.
I went to the Netherlands once to do a show, to do a big speech on Bitcoin.
I spoke to like 40,000 people, both in person and online.
It was really quite something.
But yeah, that's really, really sad now.
He's got a kid with this, and it sounded like something quite explosive happened.
And of course, I don't know if anyone knows what it is, but I don't think he's revealed it.
And of course, he doesn't have to.
You've got to have some private life, even as a public figure.
But yeah, it's really, really sad.
Yeah, Hugh Jackman.
With these celebrities, I mean, maybe I'm a little poisoned by the Melinda and Paul Gates thing, but when I hear these celebrities and they're just, like, they get divorced, I assume that, I don't know, are they on the Epstein logs?
I mean, I think that had something to do with what happened with, I think that that was one of the reasons Melinda Gates left him, left Bill Gates, was because of his association with Epstein.
But yeah, it's just wild.
You know, my brother, when I was looking for stuff, my brother would always be like, oh, here it isn't!
Ah, all the brothers.
Aren't they just treasures of the universe?
Has Dixie been oversharing on social media, in my opinion?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't really watch his show, so I don't know what kind of relationship he has with his audience.
Does he have the kind of relationship with his audience where you talk about really personal stuff?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, one day I may talk about something inappropriate and personal.
Heck, I might even take my shirt off.
One day!
The boundaries may just come.
The walls come crumbling down.
Alright, any last comments, questions, any last tipsy donationsy right-close-to-Christmas-don't-make-me-beg?
You know, I will beg.
I will beg.
I'm shameless about that kind of stuff, because I serve the goddess of philosophy, and if she needs resources, she needs resources.
And I will do whatever it takes to try to encourage you to support us all.
It is a crew and a
Three Musketeers now with the great Jared and the great James.
If you have the letter J in your name at the beginning, we will consider you too.
But yeah, we got a lot of stuff going on, a lot of great stuff that's coming down the pipe.
We're going to do the truth about sadism.
It's funny because I asked Jared to find the most concise definition of sadism that he could, and he just sent me these various clips of me singing.
I don't know what the hell that's all about, but it's gone in his file.
I'm sending it off to HR.
Ah, well.
I think he's HR anyway, so.
Because he keeps reporting me, so.
But that's fair.
Inappropriate!
Humor is inappropriate!
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Okay, any last comments, questions, issues?
It was nice having you here.
What do you think of James Allen's book, As a Man Thinketh?
You know, it's funny.
This is just kind of like an empathy thing.
Generally, ask people if they've read something before you ask what they think of it.
Just generally, as a whole.
I mean, people will... What do you think of this acronym?
And what do you think of this, that, and the other?
Wait, did he say he's doing sadism?
No!
I'm doing the truth about sadism!
Doing sadism is just the song quiz.
Merry Christmas, Jeff.
Thank you very much.
Here's a few bucks to buy some bowls and repair the black hole in your wife's purse.
Did you just AI that?
Wow, very nice.
You hear that, James?
I'm HR.
No!
That's right.
Why is Jared approaching me with mistletoe?
And why hasn't he done it before?
Good morning, pigeon.
Yeah, I just woke up that day, and somebody was just cooing in my ear.
It was beautiful.
It's like that time when I was living in a house with a cat.
I fell asleep on the couch, and there was a kitten.
And the kitten, I think, had been weaned too early.
And I fell asleep, and I had the wildest dream, because the cat was sucking on my earlobe.
I guess it just finds anything vaguely nipply.
And the cat was just suckling on my... I will never... I would go to my grave with that dream.
But it's a good thing the cat didn't have HR.
Access, access to HR, back in the day.
Don't mess with HR.
I love that meme, you know, when you, the guy looking kind of nervous and it's like when you tell it, when you tell a joke at work that's so funny that HR wants to hear it too.
Boy, it was nice when you didn't have HR, wasn't it?
Oh, sorry, um, Steph, you once said you disagreed with the idea of love languages.
Can you expand a little on why, since this may or may not be in contradiction with respecting differences between sexes in order to resolve conflicts in definitions?
Um...
So I would have to... Didn't I do a whole... Sorry, Jared and James, if you remember this or not.
Didn't I do a whole Q&A on love languages?
It was either in a live stream or it might have been somebody who asked this.
I think I did a whole... I don't want to repeat it.
The truth about sadism has been brutal to research.
Yeah, I don't imagine... I imagine it would be.
I would imagine it would be.
You'd be absolutely shocked at the number of famous people who have absolutely evil impulses.
It's one of the black pills.
I mean, I remember many years ago I was reading about how the guys who ran the Weather Underground, like, very violent revolutionary group, they, you know, half of them ended up as university professors.
And I was just like, the hell?
The hell?
Yes, love languages.
I won't do that now, because I think I've done it before.
If I haven't done it before, I will do it again.
But if I have done it before, Jared, I'm sure, will be very kind enough to post it on the freedomain.locals.com forum, so hopefully that will...
We'll help!
Alright, well listen, guys, thank you so much for a wonderful chat today.
I don't think we're gonna do a show Sunday, because Thun- Sunday?
Thun-day?
Thun-day, bloody Thun-day.
Thors-day, bloody Thors-day.
Well, it usually was, in the ancient world, kind of.
Bloody Thors-day.
I really should know this.
Come on, give me the calendar.
No, Monday.
Sunday?
Let me think about it.
I'll check with the old fam.
I'm a bit of a, because my mother's German and I grew up German, New Year's Eve is the thing in Germany.
New Year's Eve.
Christmas Eve.
Hello.
Try and stay with me.
For me.
So, I may do a show Sunday morning.
I will check about all of this.
Do you remember talking to people about non-violent communication?
I certainly do.
I certainly do remember that.
There was a lot of
There was a lot of back and forth about nonviolent communication.
This is probably 10 to 12 or maybe even 13 years ago.
There was a lot back in the old forum.
I did shows about it and there was a lot of back and forth about nonviolent communication.
Oh Carlin, the truth about Carlin?
Actually my old producer Mike wanted to do the truth about Carlin.
I just never quite got got around to it.
Sunday is Christmas Eve, Tuesday is Boxing Day.
Busy, busy.
Yes.
I'm afraid that Jared and I may only be available for half of Sunday!
Every now and then, do you ever have this thing, like it's a weird thing, where
You get this vague idea that the people around you have lives that don't 150% revolve around you.
Do you ever get that?
It's like a weird thing, like you catch something out of the corner of your eye, or it's like a dream that you half-remember.
And every now and then, and I obviously consider this massively rude, but I do get this vague sense that people have lives that don't revolve massively around me.
I mean, I know it's, it's um, it's just, it's paranoid.
It sounds completely crazy.
It sounds completely crazy, but, um,
I just have to cure myself of it by making demands at all hours of the day and being enraged when people don't.
You know, honestly, I have this thing, because while I'm at the computer, I'm sending messages, the other person must be at the computer just waiting for my message.
Of course, right?
So, I mean, it's obviously just kind of silly, but I thought they were AI doing your bidding.
I can't even get AI to do my bidding!
What's your favorite Shakespeare play?
Ooh, that's a good question.
I never played Hamlet, but I do like parts of Hamlet, but Hamlet is the most overwritten and could be trimmed, like, heaven forbid.
But I think... I don't know, man.
Parts of Hamlet, absolutely my favorite, but if I had to choose one overall, it would be Macbeth.
Can you repeat that?
I wasn't listening.
Oh, see now, that's totally fine.
James didn't listen to that, obviously because he was listening to another podcast, trying to find non-violent communication or love languages.
So...
Anything else?
A.K.A.
The Black Hole of Calcutta.
Yeah, no kidding.
As a Man Thinketh was a self-help book from 1903.
A lot of what you say reminds me of you literally asking me.
I'm sorry.
This is part of the main character syndrome.
Well, I've read this book, so I'm just going to ask Jeff what he thinks of this book.
A self-help book from 1903?
Yes.
You know, with regards to self-help books,
I've only gotten up to 1901.
I'm not even on 1902.
I've read all the self-help books prior to 1902, but I just obviously haven't quite got to 1903 yet.
I'm sorry, this is kind of funny.
You know, I kind of talked about Man's Fear of Women, this book, and I don't assume anyone's read it because it's kind of obscure.
I have never read any Shakespeare.
Shakespeare's designed to be listened to, not so much read.
But I will say, I mean it's kind of a cliche, but Hank Zank, Henry V with Kenneth Branagh was fantastic.
But for me, nothing beats Mel Gibson in Hamlet, that whole thing.
All of the actors there were just magnificent.
Excellent cope.
Oh, so obviously that's something, in some other podcasts I say excellent cope, and James is just transcribing that for me.
Yeah, makes sense.
Makes sense.
Alright, well listen, I hate to banish you all to non-existence, but I'm stopping the stream now, and therefore you all will cease to exist.
You can look forward to your resurrection on the next stream, which hopefully will be Sunday, but we shall see.
We shall see.
So, I love you guys so much.
Thank you for this great honor and opportunity.
I will
Listen to that show from earlier.
Like, listen to that show from earlier.
It's really something, and I'm not exactly sure what to do with it, but I really appreciate you all being here and doing this tonight, so that I massively appreciate.
And I wish you, if I don't talk to you before Christmas, I hope you guys have a wonderful
Christmas next week is going to be pretty busy socially for me.
Oh, such a butterfly.
But we got going into the Mii freezer now.
That's right.
Cryogenic freezing.
Who's your favorite character from the present?
Oof, my favorite character in the present.
So the most vivid ones for me are Aunt Rachel, and I really, really like Arlo.
I really like Arlo.
He has this toughness, this sensitivity, and this vulnerability that I find really fascinating, and he's really, really well-rounded as a character for me.
I was actually going to do a whole sequel with Arlo, that he gets absorbed into the security apparatus of the new totalitarian state, so maybe that will happen at some point, but I really like Arlo, and I wish I could have found a way to have his story play out in a more vivid way, just so you know.
But I hope that you guys will check out this novel, freedomain.com slash books.
You've got to listen to the present.
I'm listening to it again, I'm like,
It's been enough time past now, I think I published it like eight or nine months ago, the final version, and it's been enough time now that I can hear it.
Aunt Crystal, yeah, sorry, Aunt Crystal.
I think it is, enough time has passed that I can listen to it with new ears, and I didn't quite like it as much as some of my earlier novels when I'd finished it, but now I'm listening to it again, I'm like, damn, that's some great detail, and some great description, and there's not a wasted sentence in that book.
