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Oct. 4, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:53:03

The Truth About Marriage!

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	All right, we on, we live!
	Welcome to, ooh, this is the last Wednesday Night Live of September, September 27th, 2023, and I have a slightly more hairy left nipple because that's apparently what happens at 57.
	It's just, it's the way of the life, it's the way of the go.
	So, yeah, the visuals were kind of cool.
	I'm interested in just changing the way that I deliver information.
	I just think it keeps it fresh and alive.
	So with The Truth About the Wild West, I did an audio recording, and then a very fine visual guy set it to two videos, which I thought were great, which I thought were really good.
	He did a great job. Curious to hear about the truth about the Irish self-organized societies next.
	Oh, AOC was talking about the Irish, wasn't she?
	She's saying, oh, immigration.
	We had lots of Irish people come into the past.
	It's exactly the same. Yeah, exactly the same.
	Taming of the True is your favorite.
	I saw a live version of that once.
	It was just fantastic. All right, so let's get to your questions.
	And somebody left a question for me earlier today.
	How do you learn to forgive yourself?
	You can go to freedomain.locals.com.
	I posted an audio of that.
	that there's video coming so i hope you would check that out
	and is a really good really good uh...
	how does someone drug being a blank hole
	Yes, that's from my novel, The God of Atheists.
	The god of atheists.
	It's a man that has odd posters, makes jokes rapid fire, but random more than anything.
	He's creative because he doesn't have consistently laid thoughts similar to the roommate you had when I was 16.
	Right. Right.
	Oh, thank you for the tip.
	I appreciate that. I guess, let me ask you this.
	I still like Blue Scream with stats, but I didn't feel like it was too necessary in the Wild West show.
	Yeah, I think that's right. And I like the interludes.
	I like the interludes.
	Particularly the one that's an interlude about a guy who was a robber, and he was shot and he was killed.
	But nobody cared about him.
	Nobody had any money for the funeral or cared to bury him.
	So what they did was they sold his body, which was then mummified, and it basically toured the United States for 60 years before it was finally figured out.
	They finally figured out who he was because part of him broke off in a stunt scene in the television show with Lee Majors called The Six Million Dollar Man.
	All right. Let me get to your comments.
	Okay, so let me ask you this.
	Let me ask you this. The question, you can take your time typing this one because I know it's a big question.
	Why should people pay you attention?
	Why should people pay you attention?
	You know, my daughter kind of gets it, but I'm working with her nonetheless.
	So just understand that nobody owes anybody anything.
	Unless you sort of voluntarily sign up and contract for something.
	I said, nobody owes me donations.
	Nobody owes me an audience.
	Nobody owes me attention.
	Nobody owes me anything.
	My wife doesn't owe staying with me tomorrow.
	My daughter doesn't owe me time to call me or spend time with me in the future.
	But why should people pay you attention?
	It's a big question. Why?
	Why should they pay you attention?
	Why should people pay attention?
	Well, sorry, that's a good question.
	What do I mean by should? Perhaps a more technical way of putting it is what can you do or what do you do that results in people paying you attention?
	What do you do so that people want to pay attention to you?
	Let's see here.
	Because you provide value, so you pay attention to them, but that's just an exchange of attention that's not, you know, like those people who are only in a conversation and they're just having cocktail eyes waiting for their turn to speak.
	How correlated is curiosity with affection in long-term romantic relationships?
	Well, you have to want to know about someone, and I assume that when you know more things about people, you like them more, so curiosity and affection would be close, I think.
	I pay attention to people who help me navigate life, aberration, provide value in some form, because they stand to learn something and so benefit.
	Why would people pay you attention?
	Why would people pay you attention?
	Okay, so obviously you have to provide something of value to them, but it's not a slave relationship.
	I mean the waiter brings you your food but you pay for the restaurant, you pay
	for the food, you usually tip the waiter and so on, right?
	So why should anybody pay you attention?
	Because if you can't find people to pay you attention, if you can't find someone to pay you attention, you're going to have a pretty lonely life, aren't you?
	Somebody was saying, I was just listening back to 2014, Steph.
	Great stuff. Decided to see if you were live.
	Thank you for the years of great information, brother.
	Thank you, my friend. Welcome back.
	2014. That's an F-ton of years ago, my God.
	2014. Ah!
	Back in the day.
	What was I, 52? 48?
	Wait, 24. Oh, my God.
	That was 48. That's 48.
	1984. All right.
	So, yeah. Any updated thoughts on objectivism?
	I just did something on objectivism and Ayn Rand in the show last week, so you can go and check out the shows from last week.
	It was a walk and talk, I think. Why should people pay you attention?
	Because if you're there to provide entertainment for them, which is kind of the blank whole thing, right?
	Just provide entertainment.
	Like, if I'm not making jokes, I'm not worth anything.
	If I'm not... Stimulating people.
	I'm not worth anything. What gives you value to others?
	What gives you value to others that doesn't make you a slave?
	That's the important thing. What gives you value to others that doesn't make you a slave?
	This is sort of the Me Too thing that I talked about and the truth about Robin Williams.
	What is it that gives you value to people that doesn't make you a slave?
	That's trickier, right?
	That's trickier. That's trickier.
	To have value to people without serving them is not the most intuitive or easy thing in the world.
	Being honest and kind.
	If people realize that about you, they'll be drawn to you.
	I'm sorry, being honest and kind?
	Being honest and kind?
	Ah, treat men as they deserve, and who shall escape whipping, says Hamlet.
	How on earth is honesty kind?
	I mean, you can say, well, it's kind in the long run and so on, but honest and kind is just one of these, frankly, girly sandwiches of foods that don't taste good together and actually can't coexist in the same universe.
	These days, we're so lied to that honesty feels like assault, doesn't it?
	People are so lied to and deluded.
	You come up with some honesty, they feel like it's an assault on their identity, their sanity, their...
	I mean, they react with rage to the contagion of facts.
	We have been made allergic to the truth and all we are is an autoimmune disorder attacking the foundation of reason
	and evidence.
	No, no, no, I don't know.
	Kindness and honesty?
	I think you may have to pick one in general.
	See, here's the thing, right?
	If you want to know who's only talked about virtue and who's actually practiced virtue, the people who've talked about virtue will continuously just sandwich together positive Words like honesty, virtue, integrity, niceness, you know.
	They'll just jam these positive-sounding things together as if they can all just coexist, no problem.
	And that means that they live in a word of adjectives.
	They live in a world of language. They don't live in a world of actual rubber-on-the-road virtue.
	Rubber on the road, virtue, like where you're actually doing good things in the world and you're standing between, come not between the dragon and his wrath, you're actually standing between evil people and their immoral goals.
	Well then, you have a view of virtue that isn't just kind and honest.
	It is a wild and extreme sport.
	I said the other day that the government is this giant social mechanism which turns lies into money, turns lies into profit.
	If you lie to enough people, then you can take money from them through the state and lies become massively profitable through the agency of the state, which means that anybody who tells the truth is interfering.
	I was that old line from, oh, risky business during a recession, never F with another man's income.
	The alchemy of the state turns lies into gold.
	And the truth interferes with that unholy alchemy and interferes with people's income.
	So it's pretty tough.
	It's pretty tough.
	To provide people what they need rather than what they want is a dangerous business in
	It's getting more dangerous, I think, every day.
	Every day. To provide value to others where they are naturally drawn into investing in you in return.
	Investing in you.
	I hear what you're saying, like investing time and focus and attention and so on.
	I think that particularly these days the greatest value that we can provide to others and the
	greatest value they can provide to us is support in the growing crisis.
	.
	The base survival of encouragement against what often seems like utterly overwhelming odds.
	Right, you get that sense?
	We're like a guy with a fire hose facing a tsunami.
	And the ignorance and the corruption and the decadence and the dependence have all escalated so much that When you try and blow out a candle, you can blow out a candle.
	you take the same lungs to fire, you make it bigger.
	To know when you can win is the essence of wisdom.
	Prudence is the essence of wisdom.
	to know when you can win and when not.
	There are people so wedded to unreality that with the inevitable mathematical certainty of reality
	asserts itself, they're going to lose their minds.
	They're utterly unprepared for what's coming.
	Utterly unprepared.
	And their conscience has been nagging at them to be ready for what's coming.
	Their conscience has been nagging at them.
	They've ignored their conscience.
	And they have joined in the attacks on the truth tellers who are trying to warn them.
	And when it turns out that the truth tellers were right, their conscience was right, and they were despicable and aggressive cowards, Try to stay away from people whose sense of self is collapsing.
	Try to stay away from people whose sense of self is collapsing.
	They are very dangerous.
	They are prone to incredibly erratic and unstable behavior.
	And like a drowning man, they will grab at anything and everyone to avoid the inky depths.
	This is really the time for alertness, and this is really a time now, more than ever, to not hold a single shred of falsehood in your mind.
	do not hold a single shred of falsehood in your mind about where the world is, where the world is going,
	and what's gonna happen.
	I know so many times you read in history about, you know, everybody was just
	having a great time and people were still going to parties and they cared about
	what dresses they were wearing and then
	some black hole opened up underneath them and swallowed many of them whole.
	Really.
	I mean, hit me with a why if it makes sense what I'm talking about.
	Yeah, thanks for bringing this up.
	.
	Kind of. Can you expand?
	All right. Yes, I can kind of expect. Hit me with the number of people in your life
	that over the time of COVID listened to reason.
	Hit me with the number of people in your life that over the time of COVID listened to reason.
	Six, zero, five, zero, five, one, six, two, minus seven, two, two, a few.
	Four people only. One, ten, two, including friends and family.
	Zero, then five to six.
	No, no, no. Zero, then five to six.
	No, when it's after it.
	Okay, so hit me now, if you could, with the number of people who circled back when you turned out to be right and said, damn, sorry.
	You were right.
	I was wrong. Should have listened.
	Where did you get your info?
	How did you know? What were the facts?
	They have never admitted fault.
	Zero. Zero made it pretty clear.
	Zero less than one. None.
	Zero, zero, precisely zero, zero, zero, zero, zero.
	Right. Right.
	They're avoiding the topic now.
	I fell for the propaganda, but I have apologized.
	They said, well, I never got any side effects, so I wasn't wrong.
	They attacked you after they knew you were right?
	I'm going to go ahead and get some more of that.
	I was thinking about this the other day that, in a sense, I sacrificed my reputation so that my listeners wouldn't believe the media.
	I don't want to say it's not some big martyrdom thing here at all.
	I just was aware of that, of that correlation, right?
	Because, you know, seeing the media lie about me, I assume, helped people realize that the media was lying, and therefore when the media said X, Y, or Z, it was just easier to dismiss, wasn't it?
	A little bit? I mean, a little bit.
	Don't let me sacrifice my reputation in vain.
	But a little bit, right? I would assume.
	And now, of course, and I was reading about this in Germany, you know, the people who have issues after the vaccine, I mean, the doctors are just not really...
	They can't really process it.
	How can you really process that?
	How can you really process that?
	If you give people advice that turns out to be disastrous.
	How can you process that?
	Magnus says, it just seemed to disappear and everyone stopped talking about it, like a bad dream.
	Isn't that wild?
	My family never apologized for having me sit on the end of dinner table by myself for Thanksgiving
	I'm sorry about that. I really am I mean, do you know what a gift, though, it is?
	to have people reveal themselves in that kind of way.
	I mean honestly, you really these days you have to take your gifts from the
	blackest corners of the universe sometimes.
	And the people who reveal themselves in this kind of way have given you a great gift, haven't they?
	Feels lonely, unfortunately.
	Thank you for watching!
	But you've got to fight the curse of solitude.
	Oh, a rant.
	Is it too soon?
	We've just started.
	No warm-up, no foreplay, no wine, no dinner.
	Is it? Time for a rant.
	Alright.
	You know that loneliness is a curse put on your soul for disobeying idiots, right?
	You know that? You're aware of that?
	Oh, I'm so lonely.
	I'm so isolated. I'm so alone.
	If you reject us, your fit company for no one, we have a monopoly over your social engagements.
	We have a monopoly over your social life.
	And if you disobey us, we cut you off from the herd completely and we hit you with the curse of loneliness.
	You sit in your room, isolated and alone because you defied the herd, you defied the fools, you thought for yourself and they hit you with the curse, the airstrike called loneliness.
	Don't let them do it.
	Don't let them do it.
	Do you know why, do you know why so many people cling to To social life?
	With crappy people.
	Do you know why so many people?
	What's the fundamental driver for people to cling to crappy social life?
	Because they feel with enough of an army of like-minded people, they can defy and escape their predatory conscience.
	I must arm myself with distractions and people who agree with me, because hunting me afterwards, always in the deep, in the dark, like hyena in the night, sniffing camel nose under my tent, forever the questing beast after my ass is my conscience.
	Is my conscience.
	Ah, but if I'm around people, and I drink, and I'm sexy, and I date, and I dance, and I buy...
	And I agree with people.
	My conscience won't get me.
	I can hide in a circle of empty-headed, vapid bodies.
	And in the camouflage of the forest of flesh, my conscience will never scent me.
	I will coat myself in zombie juice and ride shotgun with the zombies so I cannot be found.
	I will encase myself in the empty thoughts of empty people as blank camouflage for the sky lasers of infinite conscience.
	So people in general will inflict upon you the thing that they would find the worst, right?
	People will inflict upon you.
	The punishments on you are the things they, they're confessing that this is what would be the worst for them, right?
	So one of the punishments for me was, of course, loss of income, loss of status, loss of reach.
	I'm fine. I'd say better than fine.
	They hit me where it would hurt them the most.
	Does that make sense? So when people give you the curse of loneliness, what they're saying is that isolation would be the worst thing for me because if I'm not surrounded by the flesh mode of empty-headed bodies, my conscience can early leap the water and rent my heart into.
	See, there's a time when your conscience is a useful and helpful guide, but you've got to listen to it.
	You've got to listen to it.
	There's a time when a conscience is a useful and helpful guide.
	You've got to listen to it. If you don't listen to it, it turns from helpmate to predator.
	And it is a predator the likes of which you and I and other people on the stream, it is a predator the likes of which we cannot fathom.
	We cannot fathom what it is like to live With a blistering and vengeful conscience that hunts us everywhere.
	All the time.
	And the panic and drugging with stimuli and agreement.
	With those haunted by the ghosts of their former good advisors, what they live with.
	Oh, God!
	Have you seen, have you ever seen what happens to somebody with a really, really bad conscience?
	Oof.
	It's horrible.
	It's horrible.
	I have some anger.
	I am not immune to vengeance or thoughts of vengeance or acts of vengeance.
	But even in my cruelest moments, I could not come up with the punishment experienced by those with a terrible conscience.
	God, it's horrible.
	It's incomprehensible to me.
	I can't fathom it. I can't fathom why people do this.
	Of course we all make mistakes.
	We hurt people. You know, whatever, right?
	But what I don't understand is it's the worst, most horrible cage.
	Hell. Fire.
	Brimstone. Scalding feet.
	Melting flesh. Eyesplosions.
	Like it's the worst state you can be in.
	And the door is never locked.
	Never locked. And people could just get up and walk out.
	But they don't. They stay there.
	And they commit to it.
	And they double down. And they don't apologize.
	And they don't make restitution.
	Maybe it does lock from the outside.
	Maybe the heat that melts you in the furnace of your bad conscience melts also the lock so that it can't be opened.
	I've never done anything so bad that I can't just really apologize and move on with my life.
	Have you? Have you done anything so bad that you feel it's unredeemable?
	Let me check. Let me check what people say.
	Thankfully, no. No.
	You think so? I think that's a thing you know or you don't.
	I think that that's a thing that you know or you don't.
	I don't think it's a doubt. Because my friends, my friends, if I could get on my
	bended knee and still stay in the camera view, what I would say is this. If you've
	done wrong to people, please apologize.
	Try to make amends.
	Try to make restitution.
	Whether the relationship continues or not is not important.
	But you can lift such a heavy load off people's hearts by apologizing and taking ownership for the wrongs that you've done.
	Do it. God, do you add to the glowing glory of the world by humbly apologizing for the wrongs you have done.
	And we've all done them, and there's no shame in it.
	The shame is in avoidance and refusing to apologize.
	I'm at that phase of life.
	You'll get there with any luck.
	I'm at that phase of life where I look back at things I thought were important at the time, And they're absolutely, completely and embarrassingly and totally inconsequential.
	Inconsequential. You can think of these things too, right?
	Do tell? Oh, God, you go on forever.
	I had a pimple at a dance in grade eight.
	Oh no, that was terrible.
	Oh, how was my school photo in grade nine?
	Everybody was hanging around looking for the school photo.
	Do I look good? Do I look bad?
	Do I have a good smile, a bad smile?
	Are my eyes glowing or do I look distracted?
	Is one eye closed? It was so important.
	It was so important.
	And now all of those...
	Yearbooks are gone to landfill or sitting in someone's moldering basement.
	When I was in summer camp, I had a cluster of pimples.
	I didn't even notice it because we didn't even have any mirrors.
	And I had to go and sing a song to everyone and I had a cluster of pimples and it was like, oh no, pimples!
	Used to be obsessed with car, whether I have the right car stereo speakers to attract chicks.
	When I was leaving work back when I was an entrepreneur in the software industry, I was leaving work and I was late for therapy because I had to fix something.
	I even remember exactly what it was.
	We were using a third-party ActiveX control to display the tree, which was the interface for the software.
	And I had installed something, therefore it wouldn't work for other people.
	And I had to fix that before I went because people were trying to fix the tree issues.
	And I would leave work at 3 o'clock twice a week.
	And I'd do therapy from 3.30 to 5, twice a week.
	And I was late. And...
	I was going too fast out of the parking lot and I turned quickly and I scratched the side of my car just down one door.
	And it was my first car, a 1998 Volvo S70. It was a lovely car.
	I saw it and I was like, boom, that's it.
	And I felt that in my side, you know, the dudes with cars don't even get me started, right?
	Right? Like I felt that. It was like my own side had been scratched and I got out and I was horrified at the scratch.
	And I was gonna go and get it fixed.
	But actually it turned out to be really great for...
	It ended up, I won't get into the details of it, but it ended up lowering my insurance because when I called in to see if I could get insurance on it, it turned out there was something else that I ended up saving money on insurance.
	And so for a couple of years, I drove with the car dented.
	And I remember some guy was like, oh, I'll paint it for you.
	I'm like, no, I don't know.
	It could look worse. And that car is like...
	It's ten years since it was cubed.
	It's ten years since it was cubed.
	It doesn't matter.
	I'm not saying don't care about anything, obviously, right?
	Oh, and of course I was upset when I started losing my hair.
	And... You know how happy I am to not have hair?
	Well, like, here's the thing.
	For me, you either have that thick hair or just don't have any hair.
	But don't have that wispy hover stuff, right?
	And just how much time.
	I don't have to spend any time on my hair.
	It has saved me. Like, the average man spends two months of his life shaving.
	How much time...
	Let me ask you this, if you're a dude.
	How much time do you spend...
	On your hair a day.
	How much time do you spend on your hair a day if you're a dude?
	45 seconds? 5 minutes?
	A few seconds just combing in the morning?
	Right. Barely anything.
	It's the washing that takes time. Well, you still have to wash your head when you're bald, right?
	That's just saved all that time.
	You say, I look good bald.
	Well, here's the other thing too.
	Because I'm bald, I simply refused to gain significant weight, right?
	Because you can be bald, but you can't be bald and overweight.
	That's a bad thing. So going bald has probably helped me quite a bit, right?
	Or, you know, there's some people who can grow a beard.
	What was it? I was thinking the other. I'm listening to this audiobook, which is a biography of Marlon Brando.
	And I don't know if he ever grew a beard.
	We know Freddie Mercury could grow a mustache.
	And Marlon Brando died in, what, 2004 when he was 80.
	And we'll never know if Marlon Brando could grow a good beard or not.
	or something like that, right?
	I cheated on a good girl once, I apologized years later, she didn't deserve my infidelity, feels good, the release
	of guilt.
	Uh, yeah.
	Yeah. Yeah.
	The breakups in the past, oh, they were bad.
	Sometimes I felt bad and it was despair.
	And it's like all of that paved the way for now.
	I've been with my wife 21 years and it's perfect.
	It's beautiful. It gets better every year.
	I can't believe it. And so all of these things that were just so bad and so tragic and so negative, so difficult, they don't matter.
	So what does matter?
	What does matter? What's the stuff that you don't look back on and say, I can't believe I got upset about that.
	I can't believe that was a thing.
	I can't believe that was important to me.
	What is the stuff that does matter?
	What if you can no longer apologize like if someone died?
	Why did you wait till they were dead?
	I lied and cheated on many girls when I did 12-step program.
	Had to call them all and make restitution, asking what I could do to make it right.
	And I hope that the girls apologized back to you, my friend.
	I hope the girls apologized back to you.
	I really do. I really do.
	Do you know why?
	Why is it important that the girls apologize back to you?
	Because girls who bang addicts are rewarding addiction.
	They're trapping you in the addiction.
	Because it'd be a hell of a lot easier to quit being an addict if women weren't turned on by it with the save the boy fetish, right?
	Women who have sex with a man are providing the ultimate positive reinforcement.
	It is almost impossible for men to change behavior that gets them laid.
	Am I wrong? It is almost impossible, genetically, biologically, evolutionarily speaking, hormonally speaking, it is almost impossible to change behavior that gets you laid.
	Getting laid for virtue is a good thing.
	That's a good thing.
	So yeah, I mean women who complain about men, it's like well, stop having sex with low quality
	men and then you can start complaining about low quality men.
	I'm sorry for giving you massive positive reinforcement knowing that you were an addict
	by sleeping with you.
	Thank you.
	I'm sorry that I rewarded your addiction with the greatest drug a man can have.
	Which is the capacity to make the beast with two backs.
	Did they apologize?
	I hate the women who complain about men when they're with crappy playboys.
	Right.
	Well, it's funny how women complain about the patriarchy which they portray as disproportionate
	male power while all the women chase after the top 10% of guys, thus giving them disproportionate
	male power.
	And did you, I don't know, it was a study that came out recently that the more feminism is in a country, the higher the female unhappiness.
	Like, the highest unhappiness was ultra-feminist Sweden and the lowest unhappiness at least In terms of anonymous and self-recording reports with some standards, I can't remember which Muslim country it was.
	But yeah, the women were the happiest in the Muslim countries and the least happy in the woke feminist countries.
	That's bad! Some of them did, and say they were in the wrong two.
	Others just said, okay, thanks for telling me.
	A girl I knew hated her father, didn't talk or would be anywhere close to him.
	For years and years, she died without forgiving him.
	Dying with forgiveness is a shame.
	She died without forgiving him.
	So for you, forgiveness is something that you will, regardless of the other person's actions.
	Is that right? You will forgiveness regardless of the other.
	The other person doesn't have to earn forgiveness.
	They don't have to apologize. They don't have to make restitution.
	So you just go to a restaurant and pay everyone's bills, right?
	You just go to random people and give them money and they don't have to do anything to earn it.
	You just hand out all of your treasure and your resources to anyone and everyone who doesn't earn it.
	Is that the moral economy that you run in?
	Folks are entitled to forgiveness.
	What does that mean? Okay, I'm entitled to your money.
	Can you give me a tip? Hey, I'm entitled.
	I mean, you're listening to me. You're finding value in what I'm saying.
	Am I not entitled to donations?
	Folks are entitled to forgiveness.
	Why? Why are they entitled to forgiveness?
	Oh, let me ask you this.
	Let me ask you this. Are more people entitled to forgiveness who earn forgiveness or who don't earn forgiveness?
	They feel entitled, not an argument.
	Oh, folks, yeah. Yeah, so you've got to be careful what you type, right?
	Try to be clear. Forgiveness without contrition is evil.
	Yeah, it just enables, right?
	It just enables. It's fine. So, it just enables.
	I won't forgive people who haven't asked for forgiveness because that would be an incredible insult to the people who have asked for forgiveness.
	I don't believe in socialism or the transfer of the unearned, in economics, relationships, or morality.
	To will forgiveness is to fail to change your own perspective on why you did what you did.
	I've been finding that I can release the stress when I change my perspective, not when the other person apologizes.
	Yeah, I've heard this nonsense too, that, you know, stress is...
	Anger is... and resentment and hostility is bad for you and you've got to let it go, so that you feel better.
	Forgiveness is for you. It's not for the other person.
	They don't have to do a thing. They don't have to lift a finger.
	It's just for you to release all of your pent-up upset and hostility, huh, huh, huh, right?
	Is that, that's what you mean, right?
	That it's like yoga.
	It's a stress releaser.
	Is that right? Well, it doesn't work and it actually doesn't help your life.
	It actually makes it worse. No, it actually makes it worse.
	So the people who are trying to convince you to forgive them without them making restitution are the people who want to continue to exploit you.
	I mean, listen, outside the context, I mean, I'm 57 years old.
	I've been an adult for, I mean, I've been paying my own bills for 42 years, for heaven's sakes, right?
	So, outside of the context of bringing them up in my show, I almost never think about my family of origin, right?
	I mean, my father's been dead for a couple of years now.
	My mother, I assume, is still alive.
	But I haven't seen her in close to 30 years.
	So I really...
	I'm busy.
	I've got a wonderful daughter. I mean, my daughter and I went out for...
	We went and sat outside at a cafe and chatted, and then we went on a lovely hike, and she jumped into a creek and caught a...
	Crayfish and it was just a lovely day.
	I mean, what's wrong, right?
	And then I did some work this afternoon and I'm doing a show tonight.
	Like, what is – there's nothing wrong.
	It's a beautiful day.
	It couldn't be better. And so I haven't forgiven – I can't forgive my father because he's dead.
	And he can't – because he can't provide restitution, I can't forgive him.
	So if you can't forgive him, fuck him.
	I don't think about my father.
	Why would I? He was just a broken man who made bad decisions.
	And I've learned from his decisions.
	I've extracted as much virtue out of that terrible situation as I can.
	I'm obviously an infinitely better father than he was, and that's about as good as you can do with that kind of history.
	And I don't think about him.
	And I don't think about him.
	Because I'm safe. I don't forgive people who don't make amends because I don't want people who won't make amends in my life.
	Because they're exploiters.
	Do you see what I mean? I'm not saying do you agree, but do you understand what I mean?
	I don't want people in my life who don't have a conscience, who won't make amends, who aren't bothered by the bad things that they do, who aren't tortured by the bad things they do to the point where they have a conscience that causes them to act better.
	Why on earth would I want someone like that in my life?
	Ugh! Gross!
	Would you get into an Uber with a blind driver?
	Well, I hope not. I hope not.
	All right, let's get to your comments.
	To will forgiveness is to fail to change your own perspective.
	Oh yeah, the release. Okay, got it.
	My grandma messed up my life by messing up my mom.
	How could I ever forgive her?
	She ruined me. No, she did not.
	I just gave this speech to somebody two nights ago.
	She ruined you?
	Don't do that.
	Don't do it. Don't give her that.
	Don't surrender the cathedral of your heart to people who don't even have a fucking key.
	Don't knock down your own walls to let the predators in when they can't even climb brickwork.
	Don't fold when people have but tentacles for hands.
	She ruined you?
	No. You can't be ruined by evil without your participation, without thinking or agreeing that you were ruined.
	My mother sanctified and glorified me.
	My father taught me how to be a good man.
	They did not ruin you.
	They instructed you in the opposite.
	Do you follow?
	They do not ruin you. They cannot ruin you.
	A good man, a good woman cannot be ruined by an evildoer.
	I mean, I guess we can be physically killed or whatever, but we can't be ruined.
	That's on you.
	And if you're religious, this is what I was saying to the Christian couple where the man complained of being destroyed.
	And I said, but the devil cannot destroy your soul.
	There's a really important lesson in that.
	The devil cannot destroy your soul.
	Evil people cannot ruin you.
	They don't have that power.
	They are powerless to do fuck all to you, at least now, without your participation.
	Right? Nobody can ruin you.
	They can harm you. They can traumatize you.
	They can make your life difficult. They can implant things in your head that can be tough to deal with.
	They can't ruin you. They are as graffiti to a cathedral.
	Yeah, it's a bit splotchy and you've got to wash it off.
	And you've got to be careful sometimes about washing it off.
	But they can't destroy the cathedral.
	They can paint on it. They can pee on it.
	But you can just tidy it up and clean it up.
	But they can't ruin you.
	They can't do it. They cannot ruin you.
	Now, you can give them that power if you want.
	I think it's a bad idea.
	You can give them that power if you want.
	I'm begging you, please don't.
	I'm begging you, please don't give them that power because they don't have that power.
	No good person can be fundamentally harmed by an evildoer.
	No good person can be fundamentally harmed by an evildoer.
	It is not in their power to do that.
	Because you can change your mind about what they have done.
	And instead of being crushed and broken by what they did, you can use it to push back and strengthen.
	and thus reverse card uno judo evil into virtue do you think that people have to suffer as much as they
	made you suffer to earn forgiveness The greater the wrong, the less chance of forgiveness.
	It's just fundamental physics.
	The fundamental physics of the universe is the greater the wrong, the less chance of forgiveness.
	I think it's fairly obvious as to why.
	Hit me with a Y if you'd like to know the equation.
	The...
	You want to know more?
	Okay.
	Okay, so the reason why the worse the wrong that is done to you, the less likely you will be to get an apology is because if the person is capable of apologizing in the first place, the great wrong won't happen.
	If the person was capable of apologizing, if they had a conscience that was guiding them,
	in the first place, they wouldn't have done you great wrong.
	People do great wrong because, in their mind, the bill will never come to you.
	They have no conscience, in particular, that they feel.
	I mean, there's an undertow and there's all of this, right?
	They have no conscience in particular.
	So they can do great wrong to you because they don't really have a conscience that they experience.
	And because they don't have a conscience, they can do the great wrong.
	And it's the exact same mechanic that means you're almost never going to get an apology.
	All right.
	How can you figure out what level of restitution is reasonable?
	It's not a reason thing.
	I mean, or if it is, it's an unconscious reason thing which can't be calculated objectively.
	The level of restitution Has been achieved.
	A reasonable level, or whatever you want to call it, a good level of restitution has been achieved when you feel better.
	when you feel better.
	The effects of conscience is universal but conscience is not universal.
	Got any tips for selling stuff on eBay?
	I really don't. All right.
	My uncle essentially left me for dead as I was massively depressed living in my car and I stopped eating and lost weight.
	I looked like a concentration camp victim.
	He never redeemed himself. Today I found out his wife just had heart bypass surgery and I don't feel anything for them.
	Oh!
	You remember I was talking about...
	You remember I was talking about honesty and niceness and how the two often don't coincide?
	you Are we going to be honest here about this one?
	One to ten? How blunt.
	And this is mostly, of course, to do with the person...
	Honesty, such a lonely word.
	Everyone is so untrue.
	All right. So this is to your question, the person who was living in the car and so depressed, right?
	How blunt do you want me to be?
	Blunt-o-matic 3000.
	Blunt-o-matic 3000. Go for the blunt.
	I don't do drugs.
	All right, all right.
	When you're in that big of a mental health crisis, you are beyond the help of your uncle.
	He can't help you. He can't help you.
	Now... Maybe he could have done things beforehand or whatever, but if he'd invited you into his house while you were that depressed, that you were starving to death, that you were living in a car, that you were catastrophically depressed, would you invite someone like that into your house?
	I wouldn't. Even if I had caused it, I wouldn't invite that person into my house.
	Were you safe to be in his house?
	Would he have been able to elevate you or would you have some degree have dragged him down?
	Now, maybe he could have done things when you were younger to prevent you from ending up in that situation.
	I'm not saying he had no causality.
	He didn't have the knowledge or tools to help me.
	Who does? I don't know anybody who does at that point.
	Maybe some philosophical thing could help to some degree or whatever, right?
	But honestly, if you'd sent me, I mean, I'm just telling you straight up, man, and I get these.
	If you'd sent me a call-in request saying, Steph, I'm starving to death, living in my car, I'm so depressed I can barely move, I want a call, what would I have said?
	What do I say? I mean, you don't necessarily know because these shows don't make it to air, but what do I say?
	I don't say yes. I don't say yes.
	Yeah, go get, call the suicide hotline, go to emergency something, right?
	But that is beyond what a conversation or an amateur, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist, that is beyond, but you tried all of that, but I understand that. Tell me how he could have helped.
	You know, your mom can put on a Band-Aid, but unless she's a trauma surgeon, she ain't helping you with a sucking chest wound.
	And again, I'm not saying he had nothing to do with you ending up in that state, but once you're in that state, how
	can he help?
	And this is with massive sympathy for you being in that state, you understand.
	Massive sympathy for you being in that state.
	But asking people to have a skill set that requires probably decades of experience and training and maybe access to medical interventions?
	He could have at least given a shit.
	He didn't even want to understand why I was depressed.
	He had no sympathy. Alright, let me ask you this tough question, and I could be completely wrong about this, obviously.
	Was he burned out? Was he burned out?
	Had you exhausted him?
	In other words, had he tried to help for a while and hadn't been able to help?
	Now, maybe he was just a cold guy and never had any sympathy.
	I get all of that. I would quail before this kind of problem.
	Which means nothing objectively.
	I'm just telling you my sort of thoughts and feelings.
	That level of crisis is not something that your uncle could have fixed.
	Say, oh, no, my dad referred me to him.
	My father sent me to his brother.
	I had only a phone call with my uncle.
	I don't know. I don't know what that means.
	Sorry. Because people who, listen, people who are in this kind of crisis often think that they're just a word of kindness, it's all I needed, and a helping hand and a hug and some sympathy, and it's like, I don't think so.
	I don't think so.
	And what they do then is in that level of crisis, they feel, I just needed this, I just needed that, and then when they don't get it, they get enraged.
	And I'm not saying you, but people in this kind of situation, when they feel like just one kind word, one kind touch is all I need.
	And I didn't get it, and they're enraged.
	So you could be in a dangerous situation because maybe he invites you in, maybe he invites you, gives you hugs and helps and this and that and the other, but it doesn't make you better, so you get angry at him, and then maybe you're dangerous.
	I don't know. You asked if he was burned out.
	The answer is no. How do you know?
	How do you know? Again, maybe we can do a call-in about this, but it's important because if you had a big physical ailment, you wouldn't say, well, I just needed a hug from my uncle.
	You'd need some specific particular kind of intervention from a real expert, right?
	I'm trying to release you from some bitterness.
	It could be inappropriate. It could be wrong.
	I'm just telling you that I myself, if I get an email from somebody in a real crisis, I say, listen, I'm a podcaster.
	like I'm not an expert or a specialist in this kind of stuff.
	And I don't know, do people think, well, he just doesn't care.
	He's just uncaring.
	He won't help me. I recognize it can be a dangerous and volatile thing to say to somebody, I can't in particular help.
	Okay, Steph, I need to call in with you.
	I've recovered. The depression was at its peak in 2006.
	I'm now doing so well. Massive improvement.
	Fantastic. I'm beyond thrilled.
	And you can absolutely call in.
	I'm just saying that it seems to me impossible that your uncle could have helped you in that situation.
	Right? I have extremely high doubts that he could have helped you or fixed you at that point.
	And again, maybe he had something to do with you ending up that way, but it can be very overwhelming when somebody is going through a real crisis like that.
	Somebody says, unconditional forgiveness.
	Call in at freedomain.com, by the way, my friend.
	And again, massive sympathies for where you were, for sure.
	And massive congratulations for where you are.
	Somebody says, unconditional forgiveness is a lazy way to achieve faux closure.
	I prefer revenge. Really?
	Revenge? Okay, but I've seen other families help people who are depressed.
	Thank you, thank you, thank you, Stefan.
	Have you? Have you seen other families rescue people who are starving to death, incredibly depressed, living in a car?
	I mean, I've seen families struggle with people who are going through mental crises.
	I've seen people who are addicts.
	and families are just generally helpless in this kind of stuff.
	You know, I want to help someone who's drowning, but if they're thrashing around wildly and
	liable to knock me out, knock me unconscious and cause me to drown, I'm like, sorry, I
	It's too dangerous. Which is not to say, of course, I wish you hadn't ended up like that, and I wish there were people who could help you in your life.
	But just as a whole, when you're going through very complex crises like this, Asking an amateur, untrained person to fix it when...
	I mean, you understand.
	You understand that the...
	The experts don't know how to fix this, right?
	In general. The experts don't know how to fix this.
	That's why, I'm not saying you were going to go into an asylum or anything like that, but you understand, real craziness, not that you were, but real craziness, nobody knows really how to fix that, right?
	I mean, if they did, then there wouldn't be asylums.
	And I don't agree with the approach that they take in all this, right?
	But blaming or getting really angry at people because you thought they could help you when it seems to me, and look, I'm just an outside amateur idiot with no deep knowledge of the situation, so we'll do a call in if you want.
	I'd be very happy to do that.
	But... I mean, I'll give you a silly example.
	Sorry, I want to get to your...
	I just want to get to your comments.
	Unstable minds make for other unstable minds it feels contagious.
	That can certainly happen. It's rare that they can help.
	At best, they take them to a professional.
	I will listen to this a second time.
	Thank you, Steph. And yeah, I mean this with great love and affection, and I'm incredibly happy about where you got to, but...
	Somebody says, reminds me of trying to help my brain-damaged wife.
	Severe depression is like brain damage.
	She ended up in a nursing home and I ended up saving myself from a total mental breakdown.
	The war of harm against healing is strong.
	It's strong. So somebody said, why didn't your father help?
	My dad was drunk after work every day.
	He was with his girlfriend and her granddaughter, who was more important to him.
	He was annoyed with me.
	Your father was annoyed with you, that's your theory?
	No, that wasn't it.
	That wasn't it. No, that wasn't it.
	Do you know how little cruel people care about you?
	I mean, do you understand?
	Like, you know how little people, how little cruel people care about you.
	How little abusive people, they don't care about you.
	Say, oh, my father was annoyed with me.
	It's like, no. No.
	No. A thousand times no.
	A thousand times no.
	Why are abusive parents annoyed with their children?
	Why are abusive parents annoyed with their children?
	Why? Why?
	Because they make them look bad?
	Yeah, to some degree. My father, my dad was terribly abusive to me when I was a child, drunk, raging maniac.
	Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
	I mean, it's just awful. It's terrifying when your gods throw thunderbolts down your young throat.
	They challenge their authority because the children can't defend against the power So they can make them feel like they're morally wrong, and they can make you believe you're not good, they win.
	And if they can make you believe you're not good, they win.
	Well, let me ask you this, and I don't have an answer to this, because I don't know if there is one, or maybe there is one, I don't know about it.
	But do you think that there is a person who can escape the effects of evil?
	I'm not saying do they experience a conscience, but do you think that there are people who can escape the effects of
	doing evil?
	You think?
	Alright.
	Maybe if they're blessed with amnesia or lightning.
	It does seem so.
	I mean, would you be surprised if I had a show where I suddenly confessed to some, you know, great, world-spanning, deep, heinous immorality that everyone, even a bad person, would say is just terrible?
	You'd be surprised at that because, you know, it would be like, okay, well, wait a minute.
	If he's this world-spanning evildoer, you know, how does he get to be a good dad and a good husband and a good father and a good friend?
	Like, it would be kind of odd, right?
	Wouldn't it be strange? I've pulled it off.
	I come across as a guy with a good conscience.
	No, I think that it would be pretty surprising to you.
	Again, I'm not a perfect person, whatever, but nothing terribly bad.
	Have you personally known someone well who's done great evil and lives a happy contented loving good life?
	I never have. Is impossible?
	Okay, so if it's impossible for someone to do great evil and live a good, happy, meaningful, contented life, then yes, there is nobody who escapes the effects of immorality.
	Right? There's nobody who escapes the effects of immorality.
	Now, evil is unstable.
	That's why it needs to infect and spread.
	Evil doers, in general, are recreating their own inner torment in the hearts and minds of others.
	It's okay, just don't believe in evil.
	I don't know what that means.
	Yeah, the subconscious mind knows.
	You can't escape your universalizing mechanisms in your mind.
	mind. That's what it is to be human, just to universalize.
	So the reason why abusive parents are angry at their children is that children's
	brokenness provokes the evildoer's conscience.
	The evildoer is not trying to destroy the child, it's trying to destroy the effect of their own abuse on their own conscience, which is why it constantly escalates, why it's so dangerous and why it never works or stops.
	The evildoer, he doesn't hate you.
	He hates the effects of his evil on his conscience.
	And you provoke his conscience.
	you ally with his conscience because you and the harm he's done to you is trying
	to ally with his remnants of humanity to provoke some kind of empathy.
	They're not mad at you.
	My mother was never hitting me.
	She was never mad at me.
	She never evaluated my behavior in some independent way according to some universal standard and found me wanting it.
	It had nothing to do with me.
	I don't mean to laugh because it's dark stuff.
	But honestly, my mother's anger towards me had nothing to do with me.
	She chose to do wrong.
	She chose to do immorality.
	She chose to do evil. And therefore, every time I was upset, it would provoke her conscience and she would need to smash me so that I would stop provoking her conscience.
	She had about as much to do with me as a fractriloquist has to do with his dummy.
	It had nothing to do with me.
	This is what I mean. Like, they can't break you.
	They don't even notice you!
	I mean, do you think they cared about you and were focused on you and just wanted to punish you?
	It's like, no! It was all self-control, self-manipulation, self-gaslighting, self-abuse.
	You just happened to be, you know, the sponge that they grabbed to staunch the bleeding.
	Nothing to do with you.
	It had nothing to do with you.
	See, your father was irritated with you.
	No, he wasn't. Why did my father avoid me?
	Because I'm the truth teller in the family.
	And he was not avoiding me.
	He didn't judge me and say, well, this guy is really worth avoiding.
	Objectively, morally, I've judged him wanting of non-avoidance.
	So I'm going to avoid him because judgment.
	No. I was a grave threat to him because I could provoke his anxiety and his depression by telling the truth.
	And so I had to be kept at a distance Because my words were weapons.
	To him. And it's nothing to do with you.
	Mommy, don't take it personally.
	Don't take it personally.
	If you take it personally, it becomes about you and it sticks.
	It sticks to you, right?
	Hi, Steph! From what I recall from your original intro to philosophy YouTube videos.
	An argument is first tested for validity, then accuracy.
	My question is whether accuracy is infinite.
	Can we be 100% certain?
	Can we be more certain than 100%?
	Can we be 100% certain?
	Yeah. Of course.
	Two and two make four?
	Yes. If all men are mortal and Socrates is a man, is Socrates mortal?
	Yes. Of course we can be 100% certain.
	Anyone who tells you you can't be 100% certain is just trying to leave a gap where they can thin wedge control over you.
	You see, an assault upon your certainty is an assault upon your integrity.
	It's an assault upon your boundaries.
	It's an assault upon your virtue.
	People who tell you you can't be certain are a fucking plague on this planet.
	And they are unbelievably dangerous and they are shooting up flares so they can find your wounds,
	widen their scissor fingers in there and cut out your heart.
	They are clearly marked predators.
	Why would the lion say to the zebra, well, you can't be 100% certain that I'm a lion or that I'm a predator or that I'm a mediator or that you exist or I exist.
	Let me get a little closer and tell you how you just can't be certain.
	Right? It's predation.
	The sowing of the seed of doubt is the harvesting of exploitation.
	100%. That I'm certain of, 100% of the time.
	I see people with immoral ideas living very prosperously and happy,
	like a Nazi or a CCP leader enjoying their heyday, women, power and money,
	and then dying before consequences come home to roost.
	These aren't people that you know.
	.
	You see people. What do you see?
	What do you see? What do you see?
	You see their propaganda pictures?
	You see them smiling for...
	Right?
	I mean, you lift the lid on the Bidens.
	God! It makes a trailer park look like the Palace of Versailles look like my house.
	I didn't gather...
	Let me just check this. Let's see.
	Yeah. Gavin Newsom banged his aide's wife.
	It's horrendous.
	It's hell. It's hell.
	And the only reason they don't experience it directly as hell is there aren't any virtuous people in the entire environment.
	What about sociopaths who don't feel any empathy?
	Can they escape their evil doing?
	I understand they have no access to love, but their conscience surely does not torture them.
	Okay, have you ever known somebody who's sociopathic or has sociopathic tendencies as you would define them?
	and have you ever known their lives in any great depth or detail?
	Forget the advertising for a minute.
	Forget the outside-in view.
	Them, themselves, in depth.
	Do you know their lives and their consequences?
	consequences have you seen inside what goes on in their mind and heart?
	My therapist believes nothing is certain.
	Oh, and just tell your therapist you already paid her.
	Oh, suddenly certainty is going to emerge.
	Oh, you can tell her that she canceled last week's session so she shouldn't charge you.
	No, I didn't. Wait, are you sure of that?
	I'm just kidding, right? What do you think about people who say you can't be certain about the future?
	They're liars. Absolute liars.
	We can be absolutely certain about virtually everything in the future.
	we can be absolutely certain about virtually everything in the future.
	What can we be certain about in the future, my friends?
	I'm not sure.
	What can we be certain about in the future?
	Death, yes, death, France, death, and taxes, some will rise, evil will evil, death.
	Bye!
	you You guys are very much language-based creatures.
	Change? Eh.
	Okay. Are the laws of physics different in the future than they are in the present?
	Are the laws of physics different in the future than they are in the present?
	Nope. It's gravity going to reverse tomorrow.
	Nope. Well, you can't be certain of that.
	Yes, you can. 100%.
	Because gravity has not changed since the dawn of the universe.
	If there was even, in fact, the dawn of the universe, there's no end to the law of gravity.
	Two and two will always be four.
	Gases will always expand when heated.
	Radius, blah, blah, blah, pi, 3.14159628...
	Did you ever get something wrong in a math test, right?
	You get something wrong in a math test.
	Yeah, two and two make five. The teacher mocks you wrong.
	He's like, no, man, that's wrong.
	That's prejudice, man. That's time-based bigotry.
	Because when I wrote that test, two and two made five.
	Now maybe it doesn't, but when I wrote it, it did.
	What would the teacher say? No.
	Two and two makes four forever and ever.
	Amen. Can't predict the future.
	Ask them if they have any money in the bank.
	Ask them if they bought a house expecting it to still stand up.
	Ask if they drive a car expecting it to work tomorrow.
	Ask if they expect that car to run without any gas in it.
	Oh, yeah, jump off a building because maybe on the way down gravity will...
	Don't jump off a building.
	But yeah, I mean, it's just nonsense, right?
	The future is uncertain and the end is always near.
	It is certain that all other things being equal, an increase in the money supply, will result in an increase in prices.
	It's absolutely certain.
	It is certain that central banking leads to endless debt and social collapse.
	That's certain. That's absolutely certain.
	It is certain that power corrupts.
	It is certain that violence achieves the opposite of its stated goal.
	These are all certainties.
	It is certainty, it is an absolute certainty that rape, theft, assault and murder are immoral or evil.
	It's an absolute certainty that doesn't change over time.
	It is absolutely certain that a man who does not eat will not live.
	People who say you can't predict the future are probably trying to avoid responsibility for their crappy decisions.
	Yeah, they've completely screwed up and they say, well, you know, it's just the luck of the dice, man.
	It's just the luck of the draw. It's just the way things go.
	No, life is 99% chess.
	Not a game of chance. Life is not a game of chance.
	Life is not a game of chance.
	Will I be married tomorrow?
	Yes. It is certain Steph will inevitably cave in and return to Twitter.
	Cue 80-minute rant.
	I rise above such provocations.
	Like I used to, I was talking about the guy with his uncle earlier, the thought struck me and I wanted to mention it before, right?
	I'm not mad at my teachers anymore.
	I mean, I'm mad at the whole, not mad, but, you know, the whole educational system is messed up.
	But I'm not that mad at my teachers anymore.
	I mean, how on earth, you know, given how smart I am and, you know, the strengths and weaknesses I have intellectually, but, you know, philosophy and reason and morals is pretty much up there.
	How on earth was some average teacher going to teach me?
	Right? Like, it's just, you know, it's not good, right?
	How could I have predicted playing Russian roulette with a loaded pistol could have ended badly?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I mean, I remember when I was involved in a legal situation many years ago, I met this lawyer who was very attractive and single and interested in me.
	But she had the Shea picture somewhere in her office, the Shea Guevara picture.
	And I was like, yeah, well, sorry.
	Nope. I remember once being in, traveling with a friend of mine and having dinner with a really hot communist and she obviously was interested as well.
	Why? Because she's mortal with a pulse and I was there.
	And I was like, nope.
	Sorry. These means of production are not available to you, my friend.
	Yeah. These things are very predictable.
	I mean, you've heard me with a million times.
	Somebody's in a crazy relationship, right?
	I just published for freedomain.locals.com subscribers, I published a two-hour, 20-minute call-in show with a guy whose ex-girlfriend pulled a knife on him, threatened to kill him, set fire to his house, and murder his family.
	I control my means of reproduction, thank you very much.
	The quantum physics. Yeah, quantum physics is where bad decisions and bullshit goes to breed.
	I love you, Steph, but I'm not about to hang up a picture of you in my house or office.
	That would be crazy. I mean, don't hang a picture of me up in my house or office.
	The real place to put me is a giant diorama of a close end of my forehead, lacquered in deep acrylic right over your bed.
	So you wake up in the morning and you see the giant speckle ostrich-heg Mars landing biodome of thought called me.
	And, I mean, your day can't get better than staring at The shell of my brain, first thing you wake up.
	Last thing you see at night, first thing you wake up.
	In fact, given the little dots I have here, you can get those little starry things that kids have.
	My daughter has them. And you can get close up of my forehead and you can put the star brain liver spotted constellation right over your bed and you can just see that every night and wake up to it every morning.
	It would be an absolute denigration of my glory to merely put me in a framed picture in your house.
	My God! The night light is a must, absolutely.
	They say to get sunshine first thing in the morning.
	That's right! I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.
	Steph, you are so damn funny.
	I got a picture of you on the fridge facing the egg carton.
	Yeah, Tim Pool totally stole my egg meme.
	Murray Heard, one night in Bangkok.
	Yeah. What do you mean?
	Murray Heard is great at that.
	That's from the musical Chess.
	A friend of mine was really into the musical Chess when I was at theater school.
	He heard some guy, some woman passing by in the hallway humming Chess, and he was like, oh my God, nobody knows that musical.
	You see, one stinking polluted.
	All right. And the tough guys tumble if you have one polluted stinking town.
	We need a photo of Steph twerking from the start of the...
	Somebody gift that, I think, already.
	Somebody gift that already I saw a perfect meme. Can I yeah?
	You know what? I will share with you guys a perfect meme.
	And this will come and go.
	Lo, like the seasons and the time and the leaves of the trees.
	This will come and go. But this was one of the few absolutely perfect memes.
	It's bitter. It's dark.
	But it's absolutely hilarious.
	And I will share it with you in just a moment.
	You ever see this meme and it's just so jaw-droppingly perfect that you're like...
	Like, why would anyone ever have a meme again?
	Like, why would anyone ever do a meme again?
	Oh yeah, here it is. Here we go.
	Oh, wait, is that? No, it won't.
	I thought it would copy-paste. No, it wouldn't copy-paste.
	All right, hang on. Should I describe it for people?
	Should I? Just in case people, I mean, this is really good.
	I'll tell you what, I'll show it to you and then you can tell me whether I should describe it or whether it's a little too spicy.
	A little too spicy. It's very funny.
	Alright, so let's see here with Steamy's deaf voice.
	It can't upload. All the bandwidth is being used for forehead spots.
	Alright, this is about as perfect a meme as you could possibly get.
	Am I wrong?
	I don't mean to oversell a meme, because I've never said this before in the entire history of the show,
	but is that not the greatest meme in the history of the universe?
	I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.
	Hit me with a Y if I should describe it for those who aren't seeing it.
	I don't know. Should I? Yeah.
	Yeah. All right.
	So he's a football player, right?
	And so this football player is now dating Taylor Swift, and he also has got a picture of himself having got a vaccine.
	And so there's a picture of him walking with Taylor Swift, and then there's a picture of him showing off his vaccine shoulder.
	And the meme is, either way, this dude is getting his heart broken.
	Oh, that is like...
	Oh, that's just something else.
	And ladies, ladies, if you really want to...
	What's this guy's name?
	I don't even know his name. What's his name?
	What's this guy's name? What's this poor sucker's name?
	That's not his name, is it?
	What the hell kind of name is that?
	You're just making things up at this point.
	That's just a strong...
	What is his name?
	Is this his name? Travis Kelkey?
	Kelchy? Travis Kelphead?
	Ah, the fronds of my hair are slowly swaying in the mariners breeze of death.
	Oh yeah, you're right.
	Okay, how the hell do you pronounce that?
	Alright, I will dip into the satanic swamp of Wikipedia for just one moment.
	Uh... Kelsey.
	Kelsey? Like the restaurant?
	Why don't you spell it that way?
	That's insane. So, yeah, Travis Kelsey.
	So, ladies, if you really want to annoy your sports-obsessed man, just go up to him and say, That's Travis Kelsey?
	He was no one until he was dating Tater Swift.
	Nobody had even heard of the guy.
	There you go. There you go.
	Alright. Why donations?
	Why donations as light and breathy as Taylor Swift's voice?
	She's in the final phase of egg rummaging.
	Anything? Anything.
	Bueller. Anything. Anyone.
	If you've not donated for a while, it would be gratefully and graciously appreciated.
	Look at all the grand work of philosophy and slightly odd comedy is coming your way tonight.
	Tonight! He cucked out with Bud Light ad where he just moaned as him and other players opened Bud Light.
	Never actually drank any in the entire ad.
	Well, a lot of places you can't drink.
	I think in Canada you can't show somebody drinking.
	There was some commercial way back where a guy was drinking de-alcoholized beer and he can actually do it.
	Don't worry, Steph. I'll donate on Friday.
	Friday, I'm in love.
	Bud Light ad was meant to be rehabilitated by showing football players grunting.
	Yes, we're naked from the waist down, well-oiled, and in the locker room that's dimly lit.
	So that makes us straight as an arrow.
	An arrow after it hits a rock.
	Thank you again. I appreciate that.
	Yeah, call an email. You don't need a big thing.
	Just tell me who you are and what we talked about and just make sure you include your Skype ID and we'll set it up, baby.
	We'll set it up.
	All right. Any last questions?
	Comments? Thanks for the show.
	Thanks for the tip. Thank you very much.
	I appreciate that. You can, of course, if you're listening later, go to freedomain.com slash donate.
	If you oppress your emotions too much for seven years and suddenly stop doing that, will the reaction be intense?
	So do you know the difference between suppression and repression?
	It's... Do you know the difference?
	Suppression and repression?
	You don't? Okay, so suppression is when you say, I'm not going to feel this right now.
	And repression is when it becomes a sort of permanent moral habit.
	Right, so suppression is You're trying to ask a girl out and you stub your toe and you don't want to show it, right?
	So that is suppression.
	And there's times where that happens, right?
	You get a bad text message maybe right before a job interview and you just kind of put it to one side, I'll deal with this later or whatever.
	So suppression is good.
	Repression is when your emotions aren't inconvenient in the moment but unwelcome on principle.
	Emotions are bad and negative and so on, right?
	Thomas Sowell just had an interview with Hoover Institute.
	Yeah, is he talking about childhood at all yet?
	Talking about parenting in any community, let alone the black community?
	I don't care. I don't care.
	Honestly. I mean, he's a smart guy, obviously, in all of that, but...
	Oh, no.
	Woke is bad, and central banking leads to inflation, and regulation is negative for the economy, and...
	Oh, God. Did you eat cake on your birthday?
	Well, of course, I bragged at the restaurant my wife took me to with my daughter.
	I bragged at it being my birthday.
	I demanded to get carded.
	He laughed at me, and then he brought me a little slice of ice cream cake, which was nice.
	Waiters sing. They did not.
	They did not. I'm not a huge cake guy.
	I mean, I like carrot cake from time to time, mostly just the icing.
	I'm not a big cake guy, though.
	I'm not a big cake guy. Ice creams make excellent cakes.
	That's cold, man. That's cold.
	What is Steph's vice with food?
	I've mostly replaced dessert.
	I have... I'm a big berry guy, so I'll have...
	To me, what's great is some sugar-free yogurt, some berries, and a little dusting of granola.
	Oh! That's about as good as this planet gets outside of the bedroom, and beautiful, beautiful.
	Did you bake? You know, I suggested to my family, they said, what do you want to do for your birthday?
	I said, let's bake!
	And my wife, of course, took three steps back in horror at the idea of my wife and I juggling various things covered in flour in her beautiful and pristine kitchen.
	My wife's kitchen is more of an altar than it is a place of family conviviality.
	It is something that she guards with the ferocity of a coke dealer with his last baggie.
	It is just something that she circles.
	There's a moat. There's fire.
	I'm pretty sure there are booby traps and not the fun kind.
	And you just, you go in your peril, at your peril.
	And if she is...
	Elsewhere. Like, she can be in another town.
	She can even be in another country, theoretically.
	And if you happen to leave the fridge door ajar and the beeping happens, she will know something is wrong.
	There has been a great disturbance of the force, as if millions of bacteria cried out with relief and joy that the temperature was increasing and they could flourish.
	It is an expensive art gallery.
	So, yes, so it's funny because...
	My wife's cult of kitchen is something that is fairly incomprehensible.
	You know, it's fine. She doesn't know why I need more microphones and I don't know why she needs to have this relationship with the kitchen.
	But she has a very dysfunctional relationship with the kitchen.
	She worships it as a Peruvian many-armed spider goddess or something like that.
	The goddess, not my wife.
	But at the same time, she constantly threatens the kitchen with renovations.
	Now, I've learned to roll with that.
	You know, people think that buying a house is a good investment.
	It's not. It's not.
	Because once you've been in the house for...
	Maybe 18 to 20 minutes, it needs to be renovated.
	And you might as well just set fire at your money.
	And also things need to be painted.
	Did you know that? Things need to be painted.
	Like it's been 5, 6, 7 years.
	Things need to be painted, even if they're technically...
	Still the same color, more or less, and there's not been giant dragon marks or raptor scratches all up and down.
	So, yeah, you won't save any money buying a house because your wife will want to renovate stuff.
	And a friend of mine, his wife wanted to renovate things so badly that they ended up having to move out for two months while the renovation was happening.
	And people only ever do this once.
	Like, you only ever do this once.
	Renovating a house is very much like trying to build an airplane while it's taking off.
	It is really not good.
	It is not good. My wife is also a past master at the nunchucking of coasters.
	Have you experienced this? Yes.
	The nunchucking of coasters?
	It's a slow motion thing that happens where if a cup, which could conceivably have one or two atoms of H2O on the outside, is going down towards any surface.
	It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
	The surface could be a tree trunk.
	It could be a badger.
	It could be a bald cat.
	Heaven forbid, God help you, if it's wood of any kind.
	If it's going down, my wife will literally be able to throw from the attic.
	I don't care where she is. It will bounce off the coastal land.
	And it is, yeah, the ring of liquid is doom.
	The ring of liquid, and not many people know this, the ring of liquid is actually the portal through which Satan emerges and destroys your family.
	It is literally that high a stake.
	It is just... Absolutely wild.
	You know, the hand will reach out and wreck your life.
	It is also apparently where, like the ring, any potential ring on a surface, without a coaster, it's also where Wuhan lab viruses come into the world.
	So you just have to have a coaster or everyone's dead.
	It just is the way that it is.
	I'm not saying I understand it.
	But on the plus side, you know one of the really great benefits of being married to a woman who's a great homemaker?
	I'll tell you one of the plus sides.
	Did you know, I didn't know this, did you know that apparently mattresses need to be flipped and rotated?
	Did you know that? I was just used to living, like basically I turn a mattress into a very soft coffin over time.
	It's like one of those U-shaped horses that you ride around on vacation that's just way too old and is like three steps away from falling into a glue factory.
	So apparently, you flip and move around these mattresses and they last.
	You don't just slowly wallow in them like Dracula going into his coffin and you just can't get up, can't move around because you're in this endless divot like God just missed a shot on the back 40.
	Yeah, you did.
	Couch cushions also need to be rotated.
	There's lots of things that need to be rotated.
	It's just wild.
	Did you also know, and you won't know this until you're married, did you also know that there's no such thing as a good temperature?
	Are you aware of this? That I, unless I'm currently on the surface of the sun or cryogenically frozen, I'm more or less comfortable.
	Because I have this wild human feature called What do you call it?
	Circulation? Something like my blood moves around.
	But if you're married to a woman, particularly if, you know, my wife is like five foot one and a half and she's like, I don't know, 112 pounds or something like that.
	So if you're married to a slender woman, there's no such thing as a good temperature.
	Like, it does not exist. It may go by in passing, but it's kind of like an ambulance that passes by during a bad dream.
	It just comes and goes. There is no good temperature.
	However, if you live with two women...
	There are good temperatures, but never for both of them at the same time.
	So if my wife is shivering, my daughter is too hot.
	If my daughter is too hot, then my wife is even hotter.
	Well, she is, in fact, even hotter.
	And I know I get it.
	You know, like the women's physiology, they've got to keep all the blood around the middle so that the womb stays constantly safe and all of that and there's no blood goes to extremities or whatever it is.
	But... When I went skiing not too long ago with my wife and daughter, my wife is bundled to the point where she's at absolutely zero risk for anything.
	Like, it doesn't matter. If she falls, she will simply bounce like a giant teddy bear down to the bottom of the hill.
	She'd bounce off cars. It doesn't matter.
	She's got that much padding, that many clothes on.
	It's insane. She could literally, an airstrike, and she'd just be walking right out of the rubble like some incredibly puffy Michelin man superhero.
	It's wild. Wild.
	My daughter, on the other hand, is in a t-shirt.
	So there's never a good temperature for anyone at any time.
	It's similar to, unless my coffee is at an extreme, I don't care what the temperature is, but for my wife, it's like, I make the coffee, because it's my job, make the coffee for my wife, three o'clock in the afternoon, make the coffee, and then there's a sliding scale of absolute perfection Where you can't ever drink the whole coffee because it's never quite at the right temperature.
	You can't have it when it's come right out of the coffee maker because it's just too hot.
	It's just too hot. It doesn't take any cream.
	It's just too hot. Now, but if you wait approximately 12 nanoseconds too long, then it's too cold.
	It's got to be sipped at just the right temperature.
	I don't think there's backwash.
	I'm sure there isn't backwash, but I'm sure that would help.
	It's got to be just right temperature.
	And it's a real moving target, man.
	Like taking a flying F at a rolling donut.
	So, you know, these and other just delightful things about being married.
	She's an absolutely delightful person and keeps us all alive and keeps us all happy.
	And, you know, there's another thing, too.
	There's stuff in the couches.
	That you don't have to wait until you've gone insane from trying to find stuff, right?
	Because, you know, the couches are, they're not objects you sit on.
	They're black holes of steel essentials.
	Your time, your life, your sanity, your keys, your phone, everything.
	And that's what couches are.
	They're kind of like, you know, that giant space void that opens up between your seat and the armrest in the car?
	Every time you sit down, something absolutely essential is just going to slide down into that void.
	And then you have to, like you're playing some sort of game of surgery, you have to go in there with pliers and cherry bombs and flashlights and all kinds of crazy stuff just to try and find whatever it is.
	And a lot of times you can see it, but you can't reach it.
	It's like a stripper.
	You can see, but you can't touch.
	It is just that way.
	Let's see here. Found a knife I'd lost for years yesterday in the couch.
	Well, it's a good thing that knife didn't find you because that doesn't seem quite right at all.
	Earbuds are annoying to find there.
	Yeah, I won't get wireless earbuds just for that very reason.
	I just absolutely know for sure.
	Like, I found this, this little thing, right?
	I was looking for this because I don't like to have the phone up by my ear.
	I like to have a headset. So I just needed one of these connectors and it's like, I actually, I just ordered five of them and now I can't find any of them.
	So it's nice to know that there's lots of things that you need that you ordered because you couldn't find them and now there's more of them that you can't find because that feels like it's raising the odds in some way, the odds not being that you'll find anything but you go completely insane looking for them.
	Yeah, I have an iPhone 12.
	And apparently the French say that now they emit more radiation than a supernova.
	So that's good to know.
	That's good to know. Yeah.
	You put something down thinking it'll be there tomorrow?
	Nope. No, of course, my theory when I was a kid is that space aliens beam stuff up, but they're beaming stuff.
	Technology is not great, so they'll beam something up and they'll just beam it somewhere else.
	They'll just beam it somewhere else. I mean, okay, let's finish up.
	What's the craziest place you've ever found something?
	I mentioned this the other day that I had a tablet, and I don't like to accumulate more and more stuff, so I'll trade it in or just give it away or whatever it is.
	And I traded in a tablet that actually came with a pen.
	I couldn't find the pen, so I just traded it in without the pen, and I found the pen in the dishwasher.
	It had been missing for six months.
	It was in the dishwasher.
	I don't know. It was magnet, so it was stuck on the top of the dishwasher, and it had been there for long, and it actually worked.
	It's crazy. Because, you know, there's things where you're like, oh, man, I can see how that ended up there.
	And it's like, nope. Can't do it.
	Can't do it. Dishwasher.
	Steph pointed out the number one cause of divorces.
	Yeah. Dishwashers?
	Do you know? So what actually got me for UPB, what got me on UPB, had nothing to do with ethics.
	So apparently, the basic ethic of the modern world between men and women is that men are just like, well, that shit fits in there, so it's fine.
	Right? It just, it fits, like the dishwasher, it fits in there, it's pointed in roughly the right direction.
	Apparently, apparently, that...
	The only universally accepted good and evil among women in the world, nothing to do with abortion, nothing to do with anything like that, or cheating or anything like that, the only good and evil that exists universally among women is that there is in fact a good and evil way to use a dishwasher.
	Did you know this? Were you aware of this?
	That there's a good and evil way to use a dishwasher.
	And if a woman had the choice between you cheating With a stripper.
	Or putting something unrinsed the wrong way in the dishwasher, it would be like, ooh.
	Oh, don't even get me started on rinsing the plates.
	I've just had to get all kinds of zen on the rinsing the plates.
	On the rinsing the plates.
	To me, if you have to rinse the plates, don't have a dishwasher.
	That's just my basic philosophy.
	Yeah, thongs are okay, thongs are not.
	I do not get. Why do you need to rinse things When if you open the dishwasher, if you have one of these dishwashers, if you open the dishwasher, basically it's like being strapped to a Norwegian fishing vessel in the middle of a tsunami.
	Like you open, you know, like you can see through time and it cleans out memories that you have.
	Have had for 20 years.
	It just completely nasal washes you and reduces COVID, right?
	So opening the dishwasher, it's like insane.
	It's like a vortex of black hole sponging crazy geister nonsense going on in there.
	But apparently, despite all of that happening in your dishwasher, you have to rinse things ahead of time.
	Like a steam bath from Japan.
	Oh, it's like, you know, when somebody's cranked up the bidet to the point where you end up face-planting on the ceiling with a smile on your face that it takes three weeks for the coroner to get off.
	Use the powder with the proper measure.
	Cups not rinsed equals invading Poland.
	Did you rinse that?
	And my wife's very nice about it.
	She doesn't nag. She's never been a nagger and she doesn't nag at all.
	So this is all just funny.
	But actually, dishwashers have turbidity sensors and if you rinse the dishes, it can affect the cycle in ways that are unfavorable.
	Now, Beth, why are you trying to get me in trouble?
	Why? Have I not been nice to you tonight?
	Have I not been kind and gentle and honest and direct?
	Why? Why? Why would you fill my head with such bond-cracking nonsense as turbidity sensors?
	I got your turbidity sensors right here!
	Why? Why?
	See, now that's going to sit in my head, and I'm in grave danger of looking it up and developing independent thought when it comes to the dishwasher, and that is only going to end in one place, and that's a new burial plot in the backyard.
	Throw half a lemon in the dishwasher and no more spots on dishes.
	Stop it! Stop tempting me, you foul temptresses!
	Stop tempting me with independent thought about what's possible with the dishwasher!
	It's her domain! And we have the deal, right?
	There's certain electronics that I feel that I need.
	There are boxes of them in the basement that I genuinely feel I will need at some point.
	She does not interfere with what I believe that I need, technologically speaking, although she could make a reasonable case based upon sanity and expenditure.
	But I prefer that she doesn't, and in return, I give her, the kitchen cupboards are bad in some mysterious way.
	What's the point of the kitchen cupboards?
	To hide your dishes from you.
	That's what they're for, to hide the dishes from you.
	Do they effectively hide the dishes from you?
	Yes, they do. But apparently they hide the dishes from you in entirely the wrong way, or the wrong color, or the wrong texture, or the wrong...
	Essence of elemental good and evil.
	I don't know what's going on. I have no idea what's going on.
	But they are offensive in very foundational and deep and immoral ways.
	Even though, and I will say this with great confidence, even though my wife very much liked them when we moved in.
	And of course, as a guy who's been around for a while, it troubles me when something my wife used to like now is in deep need of significant renovation.
	I feel I'm going to wake up with the face of an elderly Japanese lady at some point.
	Because just things need to be changed.
	Things need to be changed.
	Steph, do women have good reason why the bed is made?
	You said no last episode.
	It's nice. It's pretty.
	It's pretty. Absolutely.
	I mean, it certainly does look like a fairly mid-sized army bomber full of throw pillows crashed in our bedroom for the most part, arranging them nearly perfectly.
	So it also does discourage husbands from napping during the day.
	It's like, oh, I could go up now. I've got to go somewhere else.
	So, I like that the bed is made.
	It's very pretty. And it's nice.
	I wouldn't necessarily make it myself because, you see, I'm just too intellectual.
	But no, I mean, it's really nice.
	It's very pretty. My wife keeps the pace beautiful.
	I always rinse my recycling before throwing it into the blue box.
	Oh. Do you know how?
	Well, recycling, you know that's all nonsense, right?
	Recycling is a total lie.
	Most of it goes to landfill.
	It's all complete. Or it goes to India where they throw it in the Ganges.
	Like, recycling is a complete and total lie.
	Because the only way that you'd know recycling was economically efficient is if somebody was willing to pick up your recycling for money, right?
	So, rinsing the cat food cans before we throw them out.
	Yes, my wife's a very calm person, very nice person.
	But there is a limit, obviously, to niceness and non-murderousness in most wives.
	And I think for hers, it's to do with if I take one of my containers of cream and put it in the garbage without rinsing it out.
	Because apparently...
	I think I understand this because she did explain it to me, she diagrammed it for me once, that if you put a cream container without rinsing it out into the garbage or into the recycling, something combines within it.
	Maybe it's from the hand dimension evil intrusion of the coaster rings, but it actually produces bubonic plague that will kill us all.
	That will kill us all.
	So she's really saving the world by making sure that these things are rinsed.
	Now, to her absolute credit, she's totally fine with me not doing these things.
	I do try to help. And watching me help is like watching a toddler pour milk on your cereal, which I wrote about in the present.
	It smells. You just take it out, right?
	Folding grocery plastic bags you've reused, you can't just crumple them up and put them in the drawer.
	Yeah, you've got to iron them, man. You never know.
	You never know. Botulism is a legitimate risk.
	It's not if you're done with it.
	Oh, yeah. It's a lot of fun being married.
	And I really do appreciate it.
	What my wife does to make the house beautiful is just wonderful.
	It's just wonderful. I mean, do you know?
	Do you know? It's pretty wild that you can actually plant things outside to make the house look nice.
	There are such things as hanging baskets.
	And those aren't just baskets that have committed great crimes in medieval Europe.
	Hanging baskets are super pretty.
	And there's lots of wonderful things.
	That you can put around your house to just make it look lovely.
	It's true you only see it for 5 or 10 seconds when you drive up.
	It's not true because I'll sort of walk around the house from time to time.
	But it's really, really nice.
	And things that I never would have considered in a zillion years.
	But it's nice when they're there.
	And I'm sure I would completely miss them if they weren't.
	So she's a wonderful person to live with.
	But you just have to accept that other people have obsessions, and you give them their obsessions, and they give you your obsessions, and never the twain shall meet, and it's just shake hands and walk on.
	Just walk on. Just walk on.
	Somebody had a question about surrogacy.
	It's not a violation of the non-aggression principle.
	It does bring new life into the world.
	So I don't think it's great because if women get married young, they probably won't need surrogates, so I think it's better.
	To not do it, but it's not a violation.
	Technically, specifically, you know, you've got to go with the...
	Your wife sounds like a lovely lady, Steph.
	Oh, she's the best. I mean, she's the best for me.
	I mean, I'm sure she would maybe not be great for someone else.
	Oh, she'd be great for everyone. Who am I kidding?
	No, she's great fun, and she's very funny, and she's very, very warm, and just a great person around.
	I wouldn't say I'm lucky because we've earned it together, but...
	Does your medicine cabinet always reek?
	I'm not 80, why would I have a medicine cabinet?
	I take a couple of supplements, that's about it.
	Medicine cabinet. How ill are you?
	How unwell are you?
	Ah, femininity is, you'll miss it when it's gone.
	Masculinity is, you're gone when you miss it.
	I don't know what that quite means. I don't know quite what that means.
	All right. Well, listen, thank you guys, everyone, so much for getting the last tips.
	I'd be very happy to get them if you're listening to this later and you find these kinds of shows fun, as I do, and deep and warm and helpful, as I do.
	I would really appreciate any help you could provide to keep the show along in its tickety-boo state.
	And it's good, you know, because I had a bit of low energy today for a variety of reasons, and you guys really helped poke me up, and I really, really appreciate it.
	Call in at freedomain.com for the person, and anybody who wants to call in, call in at freedomain.com, and have yourself a delightful, wonderful, beautiful, magical evening.
	I will see you guys Friday night.

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