All Episodes
Previous Next
June 8, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
02:46:44
STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH YOUR FALSE FORGIVENESS! Freedomain Livestream
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Let's just dig in, shall we?
Just dig in.
It is the 7th of June, 2023.
And let's dig into the deep and philosophical questions we get right up front.
Random question, Steph.
Do you use sunscreen?
Dear God, I'm half Irish and half German.
Not only do I use sunscreen, I go to an underground vault in a full suit of chain mail.
Yes, I use sunscreen.
I try to use the least chemical-y stuff that I can.
I also have a big-ass white Tilly hat that covers everything, which when I'm out in the sun...
I mean, I try and get a little bit of sun when it's nice out, but I really do try to avoid...
You know, as a blue-eyed, fair person, I really do try to avoid too much sun.
Too much sun. Ranty staff today?
Fairly medium energy?
We'll see. We'll see. It's always tough to know.
You know, you're just strolling around and boom, you hit yourself a landmine and up come the rants.
You're jealous of the opposite sex's attentions?
Yes. Yes.
You know, it's funny.
I've thought of that, about to be a young woman.
And I've talked about this before, like, we will never ever know what it's like to be young women.
Never. I mean, maybe if you're some super hot rock star or something, or Justin Bieber or something, you get some sort of idea of it.
But we will never know what it's like to be a young woman on this planet.
There's this meme of all the compliments women receive every day and how much they complain about, oh, so many compliments, and a man thinking like, ah, that one time 20 years ago when a woman who wasn't your mother said that you were handsome.
I literally remember the compliments that I got over the course of my life, and of course it hasn't been a huge number.
But I do remember the compliments.
They stick in your brain.
You have to hang on to those, like candy bars in the desert, right?
I mean, you really do have to hang on to those.
I mean, would you rather have a woman's attention, like the attention a young woman gets, an attractive young woman, would you rather have that attention or would you rather get the attention later in your 30s as a man when you've had a chance to mature for like 15 years, right? Because your average 33-year-old guy is kind of like a rock star.
If you're single and sane and decent looking and you have an income, then you're kind of like a rock star.
Now, personally, while you would much rather have the positive attention when you're young, there's almost nobody who seems to handle it well.
I mean, just look at Megan Fox's three boys, right?
So there's almost nobody who seems to handle that level of attention well.
And here's the thing, too.
I know it's easy to feel envious of the attention that women get.
Let me ask you this. Hit me with the letter M for male, F for female.
M, how many lies do you think you receive a day?
How many lies do you think you're told a day?
Just out of curiosity, how many lies do you think you're told a day?
M and the number of lies you think you're told in any given day, or F if you're female, number of lies you think you're told on any given day.
Now, come on, be serious here.
Like, don't just M100, right?
Um... This person says, it's a blessing and a curse for sure.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, if you follow mainstream media, right?
M0, M0, 0, M1 or 2, M100, M5, M5-ish, M3, 4, M2, M0. I don't follow mainstream media.
So, how many lies, if you wrote that you're male, how many lies do you think the average, very attractive young woman hears on a daily basis?
Including comments below her Instagram profile.
How many lies do you think the average attractive young woman?
A woman says, depending on how many other women I'm interacting with, because they will lie more frequently to keep peace or destroy it.
Yeah. Oh, you're so wonderful.
Oh, that's so interesting. Oh, you're so cool.
Oh, you're whatever, right? And of course, oh, you're so pretty.
That may not be a lie. Probably about 30, including lying by omission, right?
At a bar, probably hundreds, yeah.
For pretty young women, B-Y-T, pretty young thing, right?
So for pretty young women, almost every man who asks them out is lying.
Almost every man who asks them out is lying.
Now, it's not that pretty young women can't have robust, deep morals and virtues.
It's just, you know, it's kind of unlikely.
And so every man who asks a woman out, asks a pretty young woman out, is asking her out because of her looks.
And you say, oh no, no, no, it's because of her smile, her laugh, or whatever, right?
No, no. Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. So, you know, the sort of throw your hair back and laugh and all of this, if a very fat and unpleasant looking woman does that, then it's not attractive.
If a very pretty young girl does it, it's very attractive.
So it's not her laugh, her smile, her joie de vivre, her sense of life or whatever, right?
Now, can a man go up to a pretty young woman and say, man, I really want to ask you out because you've got a load of fertility cues that are tickling my amygdala, right?
Can he say why he wants to ask her out?
That he's really only interested?
That does the trick. He's really only interested in her looks.
How would you like to be lied to?
For 20 years.
Straight. Just about everyone who wants something from you is lying.
Just about everyone who offers you a job isn't actually going to pay you.
Just about everyone who wants to take you out ghosts you doesn't even show up.
Leaves you hanging. You get stood up.
That your friend who says she's going to meet you just doesn't...
How would you like...
How would you like to have everyone lying to you?
And you know that they're lying to you.
They know that they're lying to you.
And they know that you know they're lying to you.
And still they keep lying.
Solzhenitsyn style, right? Would that be fun?
How cynical would you become if everyone lied to you?
It's sort of like if you have a lot of money.
There's a fairly mediocre film called something about a bear with Alec Baldwin.
And Anthony Hopkins plays a rich guy, and a guy comes out to chat with him in this remote cabin.
This was a remote resort in the middle of the, I don't know, the Arctic, the middle of Alaska, whatever, right?
And some guy comes out to chat with him, and they start chatting with him, and then he starts pulling out these plans about how he wants to expand the resort.
And Anthony Hopkins is like, oh, I thought maybe you just wanted to chat with me, but you want money.
The Edge movie, yeah, mid-90s film.
What one man can do, another man can do.
So... Imagine being super wealthy and you couldn't hide it.
Super wealthy and everyone wants to be your friend and everyone pretends to be your buddy and everybody wants something from you and they won't tell you the truth and they lie to you.
If you are a multi-decker millionaire and you can't hide it, everyone knows.
And everyone lies to you.
And everyone pretends to be a friend.
And everybody wants the clout of knowing you and being on your yacht or whatever you have, right?
Would you want...
Would you want that?
Say, if you won the lottery, you try my best to hide it.
Well, you can't, though. If you win the lottery, especially if it's a big win, right?
What do they want you? They want you there taking the big-ass check, and there's photos, and oh, yeah, and your family knows, and you've got everyone descending upon you.
Hit me with a why if you've ever known someone who came into a lot of money.
Hit me with a why. Have you ever known someone come into a lot of money?
Right? No. So a lot of you have.
Yeah, a lot of you have known someone who's come into a lot of money.
So if you've known someone who's come into a lot of money, or maybe it's you, minus 10 to plus 10.
Minus 10, really bad. Plus 10 to really good.
Really fantastic outcome. Somebody's come into a lot of money.
How has it worked out for them?
Minus 10. Really, really bad.
Plus 10. Really, really good.
Minus 8. Minus 8.
Minus 6. Yeah.
Minus 5. Divorces ensued.
No. Plus 8. They worked for it.
Hey, good day! Listen, I said come into a lot of money.
Like accidentally, right?
Not earned a lot of money.
Come into a lot of money. It just kind of drops into you.
Some distant relative you don't even know dies and leaves your money.
You just happen to be the last one.
You win a lottery. Whatever, right?
Minus 7. It was Bitcoin?
No, that's earned. I've seen a documentary about lottery winners, they end up not good.
No, early crypto gains don't count.
No, that's earned, right?
That's earned. You know, one of the things I talked about with my daughter when I was younger was it's important to respect money, it's important to guard money, it's important to be noble and honorable with regards to money, and Mature and sensible, but money for money's sake will wreck you, will destroy you.
So you understand that being a young, attractive woman is the equivalent of having Easily five million tax-free dollars in your bank account.
I'm not kidding about this, right?
So the equivalent of being a young, attractive woman, the equivalent for a man would be having five million dollars tax-free dumped in your bank account.
And then the contract being that you have to show your wealth.
You can't hide your wealth.
You have to drive around in a super nice car.
You have to wear very expensive clothing.
You have to have a $100,000 watch on your arm everywhere you go.
Would you take that deal?
Would you take $5 million if it meant you had to spend it, every time you were in public, you had to show that you were super wealthy?
I don't know, is $5 million considered super wealthy these days?
I don't know, right? Somebody says, I would need to have a bulletproof car.
Security, bulletproof vest?
Sure. Right?
So every woman who's on the internet, who's very attractive, has stalkers.
Every woman who's, I mean, either in life, in person, or on the internet, every woman who's on the internet, who's attractive, has stalkers.
At least one, probably more than one.
And very attractive women are afraid, in general, when they go out in the world.
I mean, and it's getting worse and worse.
Sweden's like number two after South Africa and rape capital of the world now.
One in four Swedish women will be sexually assaulted over the course of her life.
So the more attractive you are, the more you're going to attract stalkers, weirdos, and potentially rapists, and this and that and the other, right?
Yeah, somebody's got a graph here.
Stimulus checks. They won the lottery and everyone is worse off for it, right?
So as a man, if you had to constantly flaunt your wealth, you'd be afraid of being robbed.
You'd be afraid of being followed home and house invaded.
You'd be afraid of being kidnapped.
Is that... I mean, what is it?
Mark Zuckerberg has to go jogging with 17 security guards?
Now, he earned it to some degree.
So... Yeah, savings are down after getting free money, of course, right?
So, would you want to be...
I'd have to move to a farm in the mountains.
Well... Would you take that level of positive feedback on the internet if it meant you got stalkers and you got threats and you got stuff mailed to your house and you got docs?
Would you take that?
Would you want that life?
I mean, look, I understand the resentment.
Oh, these pretty young women, they get all of this attention and it's unfair and this and that and the other.
It's like, I bet you if you lived a week in that world, you'd run screaming back to your ballsack.
By ballsack, I meant the French author, of course, of semi-socialist novels.
Was Balzac, I mean, am I thinking of Zola, Balzac, French?
Now I must know. You know what?
I trust you. Tell me if B-A-L-Z-A, sorry, B-A-L-Z-A-C. Was he French?
It feels that way. Also, it could be Tunisian.
I don't know. Somebody says, my ex-girlfriend has over 45 million TikTok followers and she practically never leaves the house unless to shoot pics.
Freddie Mercury got a whole song.
Sometimes I feel I want to break down and cry.
Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time.
I get lonely.
Oh, so lonely.
Living on my own.
I don't have no time for no market business.
Yeah, I mean, he just stuck in hotel rooms.
He couldn't go anywhere. He couldn't do anything.
He liked to drink tea and gossip.
And of course, you know, when you have a big stage persona, like he had this sort of big man mountain of a half-gay guy persona.
But, you know, he was kind of shy in personal life and all of that.
so. Yeah, you just can't have normal interactions if you are that prominent,
that famous, or that attractive. Imagine being an alert prosecutor at a
party of criminals, and they all know that you're a prosecutor, and you know
that they're criminals.
Imagine how nervous everyone would be around you.
They wouldn't want to get you drinks because they wouldn't want to be in your vicinity, right?
They'd just be really nervous.
And the only people you'd get coming up to talk to you are weird people who want to prove that they're not scared of you, therefore they're not criminals, right?
Imagine making people that nervous.
You're at a party. Everyone knows you can throw their ass in jail or at least charge them with something.
And everyone's nervous and freaked out and kind of part before you.
And then a few weirdos come up to try and talk to you, but they're half swallowing their own saliva out of fear.
Imagine! Imagine! And imagine that was your life.
Everywhere you went, people would be both terrified of you and oddly drawn to you.
Imagine. Imagine that.
Think that would be fun?
.
You think that would be fun?
I don't think it would be fun. I wouldn't like that.
Thank you.
I wouldn't like that.
Plus, as I've mentioned before, there are a lot of child molesters in the world, and if you're a very pretty woman, you are probably a very pretty girl, and there's all kinds of creeps circling your environment.
The hot crazy matrix has, as I said in the last show, a lot to do with that.
Somebody says, oh, they typed a bunch of, what is that, kanji?
Mandarin. Somebody said, why are so many pretty girls angry or resentful when they're told they're pretty or when treated as though they are pretty?
They go home angry, then the next day put on their makeup and costumes.
That was Mandarin. Man, now I want an orange.
Curse you. Why?
Why? Well, imagine you inherit a bunch of money, right?
You inherit a bunch of money and everyone says, oh man, you're such a great businessman.
You're so smart.
You're so empathetic.
You really have your finger on the pulse of the business economy, man.
It's like you were just born with an MBA in your head.
You're a fantastic entrepreneur.
You're just a genius businessman.
You're wonderful. Let's go out and talk business together.
I absolutely admire your incredible business sense because you have this money.
But you inherited it.
You didn't earn it. Imagine.
How would you feel? How would you feel if everybody blew smoke up your ass and praised you for something you just inherited and was drawn to you and wanted to work with you and do business with you and lied to you All time, all day, every day. How would you feel about that?
Would you feel contempt? See, when you go to a pretty girl and you say, wow, you're so pretty, you'd feel bad because you knew you didn't earn it.
Yes, you would feel bad and also you would get this great glowing radioactive tsunami of contempt.
For everybody who was lying to you because they wanted to get their hands on your cash.
Right? You would be surrounded by sycophants and people who were nervous around you and people who wanted something from you and all they did was lie to you.
It's hard to trust anyone, of course, right?
Now, so that's why they get annoyed because But here's the thing too.
An addict is both enraged and dependent upon the drug, right?
I mean, if you've ever known an addict, right?
What does an addict do? An addict satisfies his addiction.
I just had a two and a half hour call-in show with a guy who was addicted to pornography.
Let me tell you, pretty nervous every time I heard his keyboard going.
But the addict satisfies his addiction and then hates his addiction.
And swears never to do it again, loathes the addiction, can't stand the addiction, and then goes and does it again.
So the girls who have been hollowed out by our addiction to beauty, physical beauty, they can't stand it, but they can't leave it behind because they've been hollowed out.
In the same way somebody who does heroin can't stand the heroin dealer, can't stand the fact that he has to lie to the heroin dealer and say, ha ha, you're so funny, even because he has no money.
If he has no money, he can't stand being a heroin addict and he can't stop.
Women are addicted to attention and there's nothing wrong with that.
There's nothing wrong with that.
There's nothing wrong with women wanting attention any more than there's anything wrong with men wanting sex
Iris says as a father of daughters What can a man do to help his girls who happen to be very
pretty to maintain a balance of enjoying their?
Healthy beauty, but make something of themselves virtue by merit not by inheritance
Yeah, that's a that's a big question That's a big question. My daughter is very pretty.
And... I remember when we were in the States, some guy came up to me and said, you're going to need a bigger gun, Dad.
Because your daughter's just too pretty.
And so...
Yeah, when she goes to dance, she never leaves the dance floor.
The guys are all asking her, which is nice.
There's nothing wrong with that. I think it's great.
I think it's great. And really nice boys, too.
So... Of course, you remind her that there's absolutely nothing wrong with physical attractiveness.
I mean, I'd be the last person to say that.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being physically attractive and there's nothing wrong with people being attracted to you because of your physical beauty.
There's nothing wrong with that. But you didn't earn it.
And it's no substitute for virtue.
There's no substitute for virtue.
It's no substitute for being a kind and nice person.
And also, if you...
If you are going through questionable neighborhoods with very expensive clothes and a watch on, then you better be guarded.
Keep your head a bit on a swivel, right?
So remind them that there will be guys who will be attracted to them mostly because of their looks and that there will be a great temptation for those guys to lie to them.
And you have to be careful.
You have to be a little guarded.
And you're in possession of a...
A gift, in a way.
And again, there's nothing wrong with that gift.
It's not bad, it's not negative, it's not shallow.
It's why we've evolved.
We've evolved based upon these physical signals of reproductive fitness and genetic quality and so on.
So there's nothing wrong with all of that. But, but, it's not something that makes you fundamentally a better person.
So because you have value based upon your looks to other people, again, there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't make you fundamentally a better person.
you're relying on what nature has built in for pair bonding and marriage and reproduction and all of
that.
And to remind them that it's not going to last.
And that nature has designed them to be young and beautiful and that's wonderful and they should enjoy it.
And you don't use it to just get attention.
You use it to hopefully find a great guy to marry and settle down with.
And she wants to get married young and she wants to have a lot of kids.
She's keen on twins or even triplets, which I think is probably a bit optimistic based upon what I've seen.
But... Somebody says, I also talk about how looks and being female is a resource that needs to be invested well instead of squandered.
Yeah, for sure. Yep.
For sure. And of course what I've done mostly with my daughter is, you know, a fundamental thing you need to do with your kids and a fundamental thing you absolutely need to do with pretty daughters is you need to give them an incredible falsehood detector.
Like you need to give them the tells about why people are lying, how they're lying, what they're lying for, because there will be a lot of that.
There will be a lot of liars in the young life of a pretty woman.
If they see you as their male role model, they will select suitors based on your values.
Well, that's certainly true, but let's not forget that there's always temptation, right?
There's always temptation to get attention.
So, you know, sympathy.
You know, I think of all of these pathetic kids who are on these Gulfstream jets and their parents have a lot of money and they just post-roll to this cloud.
Absolutely hollowed out, empty suit of armor filled with dust individuals.
That's just wretched.
That is just wretched. I mean, I'm very thankful that I had to sort of struggle to get up to any kind of prominence or anything like that.
And yeah, I just...
I mean, you've seen these videos.
Boy, they're like 10 years old now.
There was a video of a woman walking around New York And she was attractive.
She wasn't, you know, dressed like a hooker or anything.
She was an attractive woman, nice figure.
And she was walking around New York and, you know, guys were just leering at her and calling out her name and, hey, baby.
And there was this one guy who followed her, this black guy followed her for like 10, 15 minutes just walking beside her, not even talking to her.
I mean, you understand, that's not the most relaxing situation or environment to be in.
In fact, it's probably downright scary.
Regardless of race, just having a guy just walking beside you.
10, 15 minutes? You ever had that as a man?
I don't think so. Anyway, so they always thought this was about, you know, sexism and blah, blah, blah.
But what they did was they got a guy with a really nice physique, you know, one of those V-shaped viper bodies and so on.
He was a model. And they had him in a fairly tight white T-shirt and jeans.
They had him walk through the city.
and all the women were like, hey baby, and oh yeah, I'd like to slice me off a hunk of that man meat and hey and
blah blah blah, right?
So, I... do you want that?
...
Do you want that? But you can't go anywhere without people battling at you and cornering you and walking beside you and wanting your number and being aggressive and also getting mad when you say no.
Do you want to have that? Every time you go out of the house, somebody wants your...
Your Snapchat or your number or your Insta or whatever, and if you say, no, I have a boyfriend, they get mad, and you're lying, you know, whatever, right?
God, what a nightmare.
What a nightmare. That's what, you know, it's, I think this is a Mike Cernovich term, like it's good to be jazz famous, you know, like people in the jazz community know you, but nobody else knows you from a hole in the ground, right? So, yeah, again, I understand it.
You know, it's tempting, but it's a devilish temptation to want...
Like, if you had it, if you got it, you'd be wretched.
And for men in particular.
Somebody says, my house priority would be to escape that dirty city street of catcalling forever and into pregnancy and gardening.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Absolutely. With the physical imbalance, that would be incredibly uncomfortable.
It's like being 5'4 small guy with 6'4 football players.
Yeah, and this is something a friend of mine said to me when I was a teenager.
He said, imagine going through life, half your size, half your strength, and with a treasure that everybody wanted to get a hold of.
And were willing sometimes to use violence or intimidation or aggression to get it, right?
And that's women with sexual access.
And, of course, the maintenance of fear in the general population is foundational to the establishment of tyranny, so keep women single, keep them unprotected, keep them scared, keep them nervous, keep them in cities, keep them in debt, just have them be scared and nervous from here to eternity, and they will simply vote left forever, right? You either have a protector or your protector is politics, which is the worst protector known to man, so...
Tim says, I was just explaining how part of the purpose of philosophy is to tell when people are lying to you.
Yeah, that's the house MD thing, right?
Everybody lies. Everybody.
It's like the proctologist.
I don't know how that got up there, Doc.
I don't know. But yeah, so, and here's the thing too, like, men, here's the thing.
It's not just a thing. It's THE thing!
And by the way, if you find this kind of conversation helpful, I would super, super appreciate some tips.
It's a little dry up there in the old live tips jar.
So if you find this stuff helpful, if it brings you some peace, if it brings you some understanding, if it brings you some sympathy for those we might be tempted to envy, I would really appreciate some support, some tips.
It is... For reasons I can get into another time, it's actually fairly important that I keep the income of the show stable, and of course, it took a pretty significant blow with the old de-platforming from everything known to man.
Although, you know, I got booted off Instagram many years ago, and it turns out that Instagram has been facilitating messaging and communities around C-P-R-O-N. Pretty hideous.
But I mean that's almost like an inevitability at this point.
I'm so sorry. I went off on that.
I just went off on that.
Would you mind reminding me what I was just talking about?
I bet you it was super important.
Hmm. I wandered off the path, and now there is no path.
The thing for men. Oh yes!
Thank you. Perfect. So here's the thing.
The thing for men.
You are born knee-high to a grasshopper.
You shit your pants.
You pee like a fireman's ark into the air.
And then you learn to roll over.
You learn to crawl. You learn to walk.
You learn some words and so on.
And all you do, all you do is you gain in power.
Right? As a man, you start off like almost nothing and you gain in power all the time.
You get taller, you get broader, you get testosterone, you get muscles, your voice drops, your balls drop.
And your brain, goddammit man, your brain just keeps on growing!
Enough! Enough!
Feel like I got a lot of water in my brain!
Enough! My skull can't handle any more expansion!
It's like the inverse Superman holding the ship together.
Just boom! Your brain!
Stop growing!
I can't handle any more intelligence!
No! Too bad.
We're steamrollering over your prior personality with absolute universe-spanning concepts and generalities.
Boom! You will see things that no one else will see.
You will understand things for the first time.
You will carve parts.
You will flatten forests.
You will broaden seas. You will walk across the ice at high speed with fiery feet.
You will travel to the moon back in the time it takes some people to pad to the bathroom and unzip their pants.
Brain just keeps on growing. Isn't this the case?
Right? I mean, a man's brain keeps going, growing into his mid-20s and sometimes past that, it just keeps growing.
Like, I wasn't particularly smart as a kid.
It just kept growing.
It's like those...
I had a friend of mine whose 15-year-old son is past 6'4 and is still going.
It's like, well, hello, knee problems.
And it's like, just keep growing.
Just keep growing. You know, it's all pretty athletic and fairly slender to the point where you go, where are your inner organs?
Where are they? Do you keep them in a glass jar by your bed?
It just keeps growing. So you keep growing.
You get stronger. You get smarter.
You get faster. You get more power in your heart, your mind, your body.
You just keep growing.
And then you start to make some money.
And your income grows.
And it's all just like...
You're like a rocket that gains in fuel and speed as it sort of heightens from the ground.
And as a man, we start with nothing.
And we just go from strength to strength to strength.
Now, listen, I'll be 57 in a couple of months.
57. I love getting older.
As a cancer survivor, it sure beats the alternative, so I've got no problem with every passing day.
And I still feel, look, I'm not as physically strong and robust as I was 20 years ago, but, you know, still pretty good.
I did an hour of racquetball today, and I did heavy weights last night, and, you know, I'm still getting eight, nine hours of fairly decent exercise in 10,000 steps a day, and, you know, like, I'm active, and, like, I simply refuse to get frail as I get older.
Man, I've seen that shit happen.
I will not do it.
I will be... Pump an iron until the Grim Reaper squats on my face and shits me into the great beyond.
So, I feel, and I think this is true for a lot of men, you just go from strength to strength to strength.
Yeah, you get knocked down, but you get back up, and you're stronger, and you're wiser, and you're smarter.
I'm just going from... I feel like I'm going from strength to strength.
My life has been almost like a...
Exponential, right? Exponential growth.
Like I grew up poor, made some money in the software industry, and I grew up indoctrinated, and I learned to think for myself.
I taught myself to think for myself with a lot of help from philosophers and so on, and I got a good education, and I had a great business career, and I've been doing fairly well in the podcasting business, such as it is for the past 18 years.
And it's just like stronger and stronger and stronger.
My love for my wife is stronger.
My relationship with my daughter is even stronger.
My love for you gorgeous people out there is broad and as deep as the galaxy itself.
And I just get stronger and stronger.
It feels that way. Now, again, there's a crater towards the end and all of that, but I hope that by continuing to exercise my body, by continuing to exercise my mind to these fantastic questions and conversations, it's giving me the best possible shot To get into my 80s, maybe even into my 90s.
Sharp as a tack. I want to stay sharp as a tack.
So work out, work out. I do not let my brain calcify with any historical sclerosis of prior opinions hardening into facts.
Everything is open to question.
Everything is open to re-evaluation.
Keep those neurons firing and grabbing.
You know, it's like there's that meme, it's a very funny meme, where it's like your houseplants are like, oh, I was two inches from the right amount of sunlight and die, you know, and then there's potato in a...
There's potato reaching out its roots in some...
Laundry room. Where is soil?
You know, you just get your neurons firing and keep them going.
So we just get stronger and stronger.
We start with nothing, and we just power up past the stratosphere, past the orbit, past the solar system.
Just get stronger and better and faster.
And yes, there's a fall-off at the end, but that's pretty late on in the game.
If you exercise...
I mean, you've seen those guys in their 70s, still fairly shredded, and someone...
I don't know about the Mel Gibson thing, but yeah.
So... So that's a man's life.
I mean, am I alone in this?
I could be alone in this. For the men here, do you feel...
Yeah, muscles, maturity, money, right?
Do you, as a man, hit me with a Y, if you feel like, in general, you've improved, and again, it doesn't all have to be the same thing, right?
Maybe your dating life isn't really improving, but you're doing well in your career.
Maybe your career's kind of stalled, but you're working out.
Do you feel like you're generally getting stronger in one field or another as you go through life?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, baby!
Oh, yeah, baby!
Yes, I've improved in so many areas.
Yes, yes, yes. Listen, and you've got to appreciate that because you can really...
Sorry, permission to swear?
Hit me with a Y if I can swear.
Yes? Okay, seems to be fickened.
All right. Only if it's nice.
Oh, it'll be nice. So, do you know how to fuck up your life?
Do you know how to be fucking miserable?
Do you know how to just fuck up your life and be miserable?
Because no part of your life will be going well...
All at the same time. The parts of your life, and there's lots of different ways you can slice and dice your life, your life will never all be going well at the same time.
Your health may be great, but your dating life sucks.
Your dating life sucks, but your career's going great.
You're making some money, but you've got a twinge in your belly.
You... You got the girl to go out and then you notice that you're losing your hair.
It could be any number of things, right? There's nothing that, I mean, maybe once in a blue moon the planets align and everything's going well at the same time.
But there's always, if you divide your life into ten things, if you get six of them going in the right way at the same time and only four are fucking up, you're doing fantastically.
Right? You're doing fantastically.
And what we do is we say, well shit man, all ten of those things have got to be going just right at the same time or I'm fucked.
Do you know how to make yourself miserable?
Do you know how to make yourself miserable?
Just keep changing your focus on everything that isn't working out.
And you ignore all the things.
You could have nine things working out.
The ten things in your life, you get nine things working out.
And that one thing that's going badly, you're like, oh man, I don't focus on that.
I don't focus on that.
Welcome to the land of perpetual misery!
You gotta keep a chart on this wall if you have to.
Somebody says, Steph, you are describing how I make myself miserable despite the objective reality of my improvements.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah, count your blessings.
That's nice. That's a little hallmark cliche, but it's two.
Count your blessings, fuck your failures.
Count your blessings, absolutely.
Count your blessings, fuck your failures.
Oh, count your blessings.
Look, if eight out of ten things in your life are fucking up, then sure, yeah, focus on that sort of stuff.
But you understand, there's always going to be It's like you've got ten fishing lines in the water.
You've got ten fishing lines in the water.
And like nine of them have giant fish at the end and you're pulling them all in and you look at that one and you say, oh my God, this one fishing line has got no fish in it.
I'm going to starve. Oh my God, I'm such a terrible fisherman.
I can't do it.
There's always going to be something.
It's one goddamn thing after another.
And always, always it seems in life, when something resolves, something else gets fucked up.
I mean, am I right? Am I right about this?
I could be wrong. It could just be me.
It's like, oh great, you know, this is working out really well.
Oh, something went wrong over here.
Oh, this is good. Yeah, I finally resolved this.
Oh shit, now this manhole cover has opened up, right?
Yes, just got promoted and broke up with my girlfriend Well, that probably is not unrelated, by the way.
If you ever want to figure out the insecurities in your girlfriend, improve your life and see if she still thinks
she deserves you.
Love life.
Great! Career was not going good doing COVID, but now career is back up again.
Yep. And if you've got a preponderance, like we have this funny thing, you know, like I'll be happy under criminal levels of proof.
Proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
95, 98, 99% of the 100 threads in my life, 95 plus of them have to be going perfectly and then I'm happy, right?
My argument, my general argument, is something like this.
And hopefully I have some credibility in this area.
Me, Bart, had a few ups and downs over this planetary journey.
So, here's the thing.
Do you know what the phrase is if you're in a civil suit, like you've got to prove something?
Proof beyond a reasonable doubt, that's criminal.
Do you know what it is in a civil suit, like a lawsuit about money?
Come on, you know the phrase.
Give me the phrase. Give me the phrase.
Preponderance of evidence. Do you know what that is?
I'm no lawyer, but this is my understandable, right?
What percentage is that?
Yeah, 51%. 51%.
Right. 51%.
So, the only thing, the only thing that you have 95% is your health.
That's your criminal level.
Because if you've got your health, everything else is possible.
If you don't have your health, you're fucked in every dimension, right?
So, when it comes to your health, yes.
Focus on it, 95%.
Keep your weight reasonable.
Exercise. Eat well.
Work on anxiety.
Work on getting your good sleep.
Work on getting your sunshine.
Get your blood work done, in my humble opinion.
Figure out what your blood levels are.
When it comes to your health, both physical and mental, but more importantly physical, when it comes to your health, that's your 95%.
Everything else, 51%.
Do you do any concerted sort of gratitude practice?
Fuck yeah, I'm seriously grateful every single day for the life that I have.
I mean, it's not always perfect, and there's times where the things are difficult and all of that, and I get that, and that's part of life.
The search for perfection is all very well, but to look for heaven is to live here in hell.
Yeah, honestly, I pinch myself.
James Brown steps back, kisses himself.
I pinch myself for the life that I have.
Or the life that I've built.
The life that you, and this is why I'm so incredibly grateful.
I know it sounds like cheesy. You're the greatest audience in the whole world.
Honestly, you guys make this possible.
You guys make this possible.
Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it without you.
And I dare say, the future will thank you enormously for making this community and this real philosophy possible.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
.
So if you've got 100 threads, we'll do percentage, right?
You've got 100 threads, 51 of them going well?
You're doing good, man.
And all you have to do, you got eight fishing lines, two with no fish.
You can work on the reeling in the eight or you can work on cursing the two.
So, sorry, that was a bit of a sidebar.
So, we men, we tend to get stronger and better and richer and wiser, more mature, and we slowly get the death grip of hormone sex-obsessed demonology out of our fucking balls and spine over time, right?
I mean, I'm not where Socrates, like at the end of his life, he says, yeah, I'm an old man.
and finally I've been released from the demon of sexual obsession.
But we get more rational, more accomplished, more wise, more knowledgeable.
And if you work at it right, you can at least maintain your physical strength.
Maybe you can get stronger That's not how it works for women
.
We start at the bottom, work our way up.
We start at the bottom.
Most of us, right? We start at the bottom as men, work our way up.
And usually, the shit that pays off is 10 years in the making.
Dana White got ripped in his 50s, yeah.
So... For stuff that really pays off for men, maybe you've done it in less than 10 years, right?
I was...
Gosh, let's do the math here.
Let's see here. All right, so let's see here.
I want to make sure I get this right.
So I'm just doing this in my head, don't mind my clacking.
That's coming from somewhere else, man.
No, no, that's not it.
Sorry. Okay, let me get this right.
Okay, so I was 39 years old.
When I became a public guy, so I had a quarter century almost into philosophy before I became a public guy in the realm of philosophy.
I said 24 years, let's say round it up a little because I don't know exactly when I was 15
when I got into philosophy, but I had a quarter century before I popped as an overnight success
into the public sphere as a philosophy guy, right?
Right.
Now maybe you've done it in less than 10 years, but when I think of musicians
Musicians, oh my gosh, he burst on the scene at age 18.
18, yeah, but he'd been playing since he was six, right?
I think that getting your T-levels checked is a good idea.
Thank you.
No advice here.
It's just my personal opinion.
I'm not a doctor. Talk to your doctor.
But... Have you been able to do it in less than 10 years?
You know, Freddie Mercury burst onto the scene in his early 20s, but he was in a band in India in his boarding school when he was known as, you know, Bucky.
He was in a band when he was like 10.
So, you know, 10-12 years, right?
Got my first real six string at the five and dime.
Played it till my fingers bled.
It was the summer of 69, right?
So 10 years, right? So we start with nothing and we build up to everything.
And then, you know, life and age takes it away from us, but it's closer to the end when we have the wisdom to handle it.
Now, for women, though, in general, if you have sons and daughters, who gets more praise, the daughters or the sons?
Hit S for sons, D for daughters.
S for sons, D for daughters.
if you've had, if you have kids, or you may remember when you were a kid, S for sons get more praise, D for daughters
get more praise. DDDDDDD. Yes, of course.
Of course. Of course.
And there's this funny thing too now where a friend of mine was talking about this with regards to his daughters and he was saying like the daughters seem to be focusing more on getting affirmation and praise from other girls than from boys their age.
Those teenage daughters, right?
They seem to be more focused on getting affirmation and praise From girls, rather like, yes, you girls, late queen, blah, blah, blah, right?
Seems kind of odd. I mean, just from a male perspective, I think his daughters are like 16 or whatever, 17.
So when I was 16 or 17, I was pretty much focused on being interesting to women or girls, rather than my friends thinking I was handsome, my male friends thinking I was good-looking.
It's kind of funny, right?
So... Yeah, so girls start at the top, and this is what's very tough for people to sort of follow and understand.
They start at the top, and then things get whittled away.
Things just get whittled away.
Youth, fertility, beauty, blah, blah, blah, just gets whittled away.
You know, from 18 to 40, it's a ride from the highs to the relative lows.
And again, it doesn't have to be relative lows.
You get pair-bonded with a man, you get your kids, you raise your kids, you're good, right?
You're good. As a guy, I've been married 20-plus years now, and I can tell you this for absolute certain, that Being pair-bonded with the right person is infinitely better than being young and pretty.
Young and handsome.
Young and hot, right? So...
It's way...
I mean, it's not even close.
Like, it's not even remotely close.
It's way... It's infinitely better.
It's infinitely better.
So, yeah, I don't miss that at all, right?
I don't miss that at all. So it's very tough.
It's very tough for girls.
Because they start with the very top in a sense.
And where do they end up?
They end up in some pretty bad places.
If they're not taught and wisely taught, right?
But keeping girls away from the mortality of their beauty is foundational to the corruption of modern culture, right?
Keeping girls away from the mortality of their beauty is absolutely essential in the corruption of the modern world.
Or give them the delusions or give them the delusion that The qualities that give them attention from men are qualities of character, not of youth and beauty.
And again, please understand, absolutely can be the case that young women can be morally beautiful and great and wonderful and so on, but the more that they are lied to, right?
I mean, here is...
I'll give you a picture of me.
I think I was 21. Something like that.
I think I was 21. Let me give you a picture of me.
If you haven't seen this, I share this every once in a while.
Because I do want people to sort of understand that I know a little bit about some of this beauty stuff.
Let me show you. Oh, Windows.
I just want to look at my files.
I just want to look at my files.
But no. Yeah, like Rachel, her beauty went to her head.
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
So, you know, here's a time flash, right?
Here's me, at that age.
I had quite the chin. Look at that.
I still have those little lines on the side of my face.
Did you get catcalled too?
I did occasionally, yeah.
I remember being at summer camp in a bathing suit because I was on the swim team.
I was on the water polo team.
I was like... I was a lean, mean muscle machine and I remember getting catcalled at swimming pools sometimes.
And I wouldn't go back to that time if it meant giving up what I have now.
It's not even remotely tempting.
And, of course, I wish I had used those looks to get a more quality woman, but, again, everything that led me to the wife I have now is A-OK with me.
So, everything that led me to where I am now is A-OK with me.
So, for men, like, you've got to understand this, right?
Women's side of the top, and, again, I'm not saying in terms of their moral qualities and all of that, but in terms of, like...
Honor and value. Men, we got nothing.
We got to work for everything. And yet, our life is continual improvement.
Women start at the top. So imagine, for a man, imagine instead of accumulating resources, your resources were dissolving.
And there was nothing you could do about it.
Imagine. Just picture this.
Imagine that you're born and you get $5 million and it goes down Buy a quarter of a million dollars every year and there's nothing you can do about it.
I'm not just talking inflation, like the actual numbers, right?
You go from 5 million to 4.75, 4.5, 4.25, every year.
Every year you lose a quarter mil.
There's nothing you can do about it.
Just losing resources every year.
What you experience as a man with inflation, women experience with sexual market value.
Every year. Now, imagine...
Imagine...
Imagine this.
Imagine that your financial advisor was lying to you as well, right?
Imagine your financial advisor was lying to you and said, no, no, no, you're fine, you're fine, you've got, you know...
You can retire on this, no problem, right?
And he was faking your statements so that you looked like you were actually increasing in value when in fact the actual value of your portfolio was declining.
So he was saying, oh, no, no, you're 5.25, 5.5, when in fact you were going to 4.75, 4.5.
You were driving down to zero at a time when you thought, you thought, That your value was increasing.
See, this is really important to understand as to, you know, one of the main reasons I got deplatformed was I just angered too many middle-aged women.
And because middle-aged women say, well, we're getting more valuable, right?
So there's the culture, the media, and their vanity are like these false financial advisors that say that your portfolio is gaining value when it's losing value.
I know your whole life is built around, well, now I'm a woman of quality and women over 40 have higher sex drives and I still look fantastic and I can still work out.
Nope. But the actual value is the egg number and the egg quality, right?
So, you know, the sort of famous Taylor Swift tweet that I posted some years ago, which was voted the worst tweet in the history of Twitter in one poll.
Why? Well, we men, I mean, we can't survive without facts.
We actually, we can't survive without facts, which is why men tend to be a little bit more empirical.
So, the culture is lying to women and saying, no, no, no, you're getting more valuable.
You're maturing. You're getting wiser.
You've got more life experience under your belt.
And you can stay pretty, and you can put on makeup, and you can use filters, and you can shoot like Greta Garbo through a half Vaseline cake lens of ancient equipment.
Your value just keeps going up and up and up, like men.
Because, you know, it's pretty tough.
If a man's value is going up and a woman's value is going down in your 30s, then you're at a time of most desperate need at a time when you have the least leverage.
You're at the time of the most desperate need for woman to man at the time when you have the least leverage.
So women are lied to, right?
It's part of the whole depopulation, have women, have fewer kids later, blah, blah, blah, right?
They're lied to. Oh, your value's just going up, honey.
Now, I come along and I say, no, no, no.
Everyone tells you your portfolio's going up.
I'm telling you it's crashing. I'm telling you it's crashing.
So, a woman who's 30 says, well, you know, I've got 12 years of adulthood, I've got maturity, I've been to 26 countries and counting, and, you know, I have experience, and I have education, and I have a career, and I've got some savings, maybe, probably a lot more student debt, but whatever, right?
Like, my value has just gone up and up and up, and the whole culture is telling you, your value is going up and up and up.
There's no wall. The value goes up and up.
Now, I come along and I say, 90% of your eggs are dead by the time you're 30.
By the time you're 40, it's like, what, 98% or something like that, right?
So I'm saying, I'm telling the truth about what makes a woman's youth valuable is her fertility.
What makes a woman's youth valuable from a sexual market standpoint, a reproductive standpoint, a marriage standpoint.
Marriage is there for children. It's not there for adults.
Marriage is there for the protection of children in the same way that roads are there for cars.
You can still ride a bike on the road, but it's not there for the bike.
It's there for the cars, right? All of these women are feeling, well, I've got forever and I can have kids past 40 and I can freeze my eggs and it just goes on and on and I still look good and I'm saying, I'm sorry, I actually lifted the lid on the veil of lies that your financial advisor has given you and by the time you're 30, your portfolio is down 90%, right?
Your portfolio is down 90%, right?
So you don't have 5 million.
You don't have 5 million.
Right? Let's do some real math here, right?
The woman thinks she's gone up.
She's at 7 million, 10 million.
And I'm saying 90% of your eggs are gone by the time you're 30.
What is her 5 million at?
From the analogy, right?
What's it gone down to? Yeah, it's down to 500,000 and falling, right?
Right. So then I say, well, I think it was 98, right?
So by the time you're 40, it's down to 100 grand.
You may think you have 10 million or 12 million.
I'm telling you the actual numbers.
Right? Right? Now, listen, I get that.
You can find pictures of women who don't age well.
Honestly, you can find pictures of men who don't age well either, right?
Val Kilmer didn't exactly age the same way that Tom Cruise aged.
But it's not just about eggs.
Of course, it's about Having your heart broken.
It's about pair bonding issues.
It's about trust. It's about debt.
It's about having a life without your husband.
It's about having a career.
It's about having an income and all of the things that a man doesn't care about and doesn't want.
It's so bizarre to me.
It's so bizarre to me.
It's like saying, well, I like a woman in a tight dress, so as a man, I'm going to go to a bar in a tight dress and try and get a woman.
It's like... Women don't want what men want.
Men don't want what women want.
And there's this weird thing. I don't know exactly how it happened or why it happened, but it's like...
Women are like, well, I want a man with a high income, so I better bring a high income to the table.
And I want a man with a good career, so I better have a good career.
And I want a man with a good education, so I better get a good education.
And I want a man... Right?
It's like... Why is it impossible for men?
I'm sorry, I know this sounds weird.
Why is it so impossible for women to simply ask men, you know, what do you want?
And I'll try and provide that.
And what do you want? What are you looking for?
What do you want, right?
What do you want? It's the cashier question, right?
I mean, I asked this just the other day.
Come on. You know.
You know the question. Hit me with a why if as a young man you've ever found a really pretty cashier and be like, man, I could date her.
I could ask her out. A thousand times?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. One person says no.
Or a waitress or whoever, right?
Some woman with a completely low-rent job, and you're like, yeah, I could absolutely.
If I could get a date with her, I would absolutely take that.
Now, how many times do you think a woman with a graduate degree looks at the guy putting the groceries in her bag and says, I'd really like to date him?
Yeah, she's pretty. She seems nice.
She's got a nice smile. She seems friendly.
She seems positive. She seems happy.
Right? My co-worker, I'm a cashier.
A cashier with a breast ear.
So, yeah.
It happens all the time for men.
We don't care! In fact, it's a negative.
It's a negative. Okay, let me ask you this.
You go chat with some woman, right?
And she's like, let's say you're 30, she's 30, whatever.
You chat with a woman and she says, oh yeah, like I just started as a lawyer.
You know, I finished my undergraduate.
I finished my law school.
I just passed the bar.
I'm just diving in as a lawyer.
Do you want to ask her out?
Isn't that the dream? Jennifer Aniston was a barista in Friends and a waitress in office space.
Do you want to ask a woman out?
She's 30 and she says, I've just started my law degree.
Oh dear, I see babies flying away in debt dollars.
Yeah, she'll be busy all the time and stressed.
You start your law career, you're doing 80 hours a week.
Easy. You're just going to have no time.
You're going to have no time. Yeah, setting the first date three months ahead.
She's going to get buzzed.
She's going to have to cancel dates.
She's going to have to walk out of the theater.
She's going to be just... And look, I'm starting to get caught up, right?
No, her life is her career.
Oh, not age 30, right?
A friend brought me to a bar and knew one of the middle-aged women at a table.
She was bragging about how she had two men on the hook, and one is for pleasure and one is for his resources.
She was a teacher with two kids, divorced.
Right, right.
So, of course, a lot of women think, well, I'd like a lawyer because he makes a lot of money and blah, blah, blah, so I'll be a lawyer because that's what men want, and it's just so bizarre.
Honestly, how many times a show do I ask you guys what you want to talk about and get your feedback and get your thoughts and say, give me the questions, where do you want to take the show?
I'm not just into customer service, I'm like a stalker peeking out from your Buster Browns.
Yeah, I...
I don't know why you would want that.
I mean, assuming... I mean, look, if you don't want kids or whatever, I think that's weird, but if you don't want kids, I guess, right?
But... And here's the thing, too.
Oh, are you ready for a secret?
This could be a shameful secret.
I don't want it. Should I share a shameful secret with you guys?
Yeah. It's a little shameful.
It's a little shameful. Alright, are you ready?
I need you guys to be super honest with me.
Please, I'm begging you.
Pretend I'm not a pretty girl.
Just for the moment. Just for the moment.
Okay. Hit me with a Y if you've ever had a girlfriend who has a male boss who she defers to more than you and it annoys you.
Hit me with a Y if you've ever had a girlfriend who's got a male boss and she defers to him more than you.
No. It's about 50-50, yes and no.
Cringe, that would be awful.
I don't know what you mean. Do you mean that the annoyance that you have towards a boss, right?
So you invite your girlfriend out and you're out at dinner and her boss buzzes her and says he needs something.
She jumps up and goes to please him, goes to obey him.
Doesn't that feel like he's winning over you?
Listen, it's totally fine if you don't get that.
And I'm not saying it's right.
I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying that that's the way it is for some men.
You got a girlfriend, and she argues with you a lot, but then when her boss says jump, she says how high?
So she can submit her will to a man, but only if he gives her money.
My husband does that with his mail boss.
No, no, no, I get that. That can be annoying, but let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this. Who's that?
All right, Noka. Let me ask you this.
Now, imagine that your husband has a hot girl boss.
Imagine your husband has a hot girl boss, and she says, I need you to come in and work with me on Saturday.
And he's like, I'm in. I'm in.
I'm coming in. Or she says, I really need you to come with me on this business trip.
And he's like, yeah, I'll come with you on the business trip.
We'll stay in the same hotel. We'll go out for dinner.
I'll come with you on the business trip because you need me.
Come on. Would that not bother you a little bit?
Would it? And people talk about this, right?
There's your home husband and then there's your work husband.
There's your home wife and then there's your work wife.
She says, I would consider it over.
A little too eager for overtime there, bub.
But you see, that's the way that it is.
No business trips. Right.
So for women, if you have a male boss and you just defer to your male boss, you do whatever he wants, whatever he says, at the expense of your boyfriend, he feels lesser.
He feels second. He feels unimportant.
Now, could it work the other way?
That, you know, you've got a female girl boss or whatever, and the husband is constantly deferring to her and so on.
But it's odd, isn't it?
Like, we haven't evolved for that at all.
Somebody says, that exact situation happened to my dad and my old stepmom, and it led to a divorce because they ended up having an affair.
Yep. The work husband, right?
You're my work husband. You're my work wife.
We are not designed to have loyalties outside the pair bond that triumph over the pair bond.
We're not designed for that.
That's called having an affair.
And the fact that it's not sexual but rather economic doesn't really strike our amygdala at all.
It doesn't matter. And this is why a lot of men are not super keen on women having big high-powered Careers, because in a high-powered career, in a salaried career, they say jump, you've got to say how high.
You know, when I was a waiter, I had my day off.
Now, maybe the boss would say, I'd really like you to come in, so I'm a counselor, but it was never like you have to come in.
Right? Had a girlfriend once who wanted to go to a male co-worker's place to play video games, and I said no to that.
Yeah. We are designed to pair bond with each other.
Now, of course, you can have friendships and all of that, but your primary, primary, primary relationship is with your spouse.
Now, let me ask you this.
How many close female friends do I have as a married man?
Let me just ask you this. How many close female friends do I have as a married man?
Come on. Give me some numbers.
Give me exponential numbers.
Give me decimals. Whatever you want.
Come on. Zero.
Yeah, zero! Of course!
Of course! It wrecked my soul when I finally realized that men and women can't really be friends.
Why would it wreck your soul?
That's why we're all here.
Only the girlfriends of my friends.
No, no, outside of my marriage.
I don't have any female... I don't have any close female friends outside of my marriage.
How many close male friends does my wife have?
You understand, right? It's the same number.
Now, this doesn't mean that, you know, every once in a while, you know, I'll do something with a friend of mine's wife if whatever, right?
This happened like literally once or twice since I became a father.
I've gone out, you know, we go to some park with the kids or whatever.
But no, I have no close female friends because I'm married.
And it's disrespectful to my wife to look for close emotional contact with a woman outside the marriage.
Yeah, Lauren Southern and I, we did some tours together, we chatted, but we were never particularly close, and I like her a lot, she's a very good person, but no, we're not close personal friends.
And of course, when I went on the tour, my wife and daughter came with me, and so on, right?
So, no, it would be completely disrespectful to my wife for me to develop a close relationship with a woman outside the marriage.
Right? Right? Because it would be saying, there's something I can't get from you, my best friend.
There's something I have to go outside the marriage to get.
I can confide in her in a way that I can't confide in you.
I can share things with her that I can't share with you.
No, absolutely not.
Like, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
How much should we expect from a significant other?
I don't even know what that question means.
Sorry, you'll have to... Please do rephrase.
Come on, people. You feel like tipping the old Steph bot a little?
I'm literally sweating here.
Look at that. I'm literally sweating.
I'm sitting and sweating with the goal of providing you maximum treadmill value for your time here.
Literally sweating.
And I'm saving you a fortune.
I guarantee you that.
I'm saving you an absolute fortune.
Because I'm preventing you or giving you the tools necessary to avoid wasting time and money on relationships.
No, I have AC on.
And smoke. So, also preventing you from getting divorced, which will cost you $50,000 to $100,000 usually.
Here's another tip. Please tip.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for muscular philosophy.
yeah, muscular Christianity from the 19th century, right?
So yeah, it's a funny thing.
It's a funny thing. But this is an interesting phenomenon.
This is an interesting phenomenon, which I can touch on here.
If you've heard all this before, and I haven't really talked about this before on this show or this channel, hit me with a Y if you're a man and you've ever been shamed for your preferences in women.
Hit me with a Y if you're a man and you've ever been shamed for your preferences in women.
Somebody says, thank you for the tip.
Yes, you are saving me money.
Steph's show helped me understand my horrible relationship choices.
Almost five years single now, re-evaluating everything in my life.
Well, fantastic. Fantastic.
Right. Right.
So if you say, I want a slender woman...
Are you fatphobic? If you say you want a woman with long hair, are you sexist?
If you say you want a woman of a certain shape, are you shallow?
Are you materialistic?
Are you sexist?
Are you a misogynist, right?
So, here's the thing, man.
There is no bigger fucking punching bag in the known universe than male romantic preferences.
Boom! Boom!
It's like watching Rocky in a meat factory, man.
It's just like bam, pound, bam, shred, chew, explode, bite, savage, claw down.
I want a non-argumentative woman.
Oh my God, you just want to, like, you see these women, it's like, how dare an older man want to date a younger woman?
You know why he wants to date a younger woman?
Because she's pathetic and malleable and doesn't know anything about the world and he can just mold her and bully her and control her.
But when an older woman wants a younger man, she's just playful and experimentive and cougar and blah, blah, blah, right?
Like the vitriol, the vitriol.
The vitriol that a lot of women pour on men having the single slightest fucking preference in the universe is really, really wild.
Yeah, I'd really like to date a woman who's not super in debt.
Yeah, I'd really like to date a woman who wasn't a feminist who dislikes men.
Right? I'd really like to date a woman who doesn't think I'm a manifestation of the giant phallic beating caveman cudgel called the patriarchy.
Right? Somebody says, the guys tell me you can't date by an Excel sheet just from me having standards.
Yes, having standards really gets under some women, right?
Now, I mean you've probably seen this You've probably seen this meme, and it's a fairly common
one And the meme goes something like this.
A woman making an aversive face, like a negative face, right?
When his height starts with five, and she's like, right?
And then a man, when her weight starts with two, how dare you, right?
And you've literally seen this.
You can see these exchanges back and forth on social media where the woman says, well, hang on, are you actually six foot?
Because a lot of guys, you know, will pretend that they're taller.
Are you actually six foot? Because I really want to make that, right?
And he says, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm 6'1".
Now, are you actually 140 pounds?
Because a lot of women kind of fudge that.
Like, can you tell me what your actual weight is?
Because, you know, you can get the slimming abs.
And she's like, how dare you?
Right? Come on.
And now, of course, a man doesn't have any control over his height.
A woman has almost complete control over her weight.
Ugh, all these people. I can't lose weight.
You don't want to lose weight.
But you can lose weight. It's literally like people not driving their car because they say, well, I just can't refill my car.
Sure you can. Go ahead and get some gas, put it in the car.
I'm big-boned!
No, dinosaurs are big-boned.
You are... Right, so...
Yeah. I mean, I'm no prince of skinniness or anything like that, but I mean, I weigh less now than I did when I was 18, and how do you lose it?
You lose it by eliminating stuff from your life permanently.
Chips, chocolate, cookies, candy, boom, gone, gone.
Now you can indulge. Like, I was saying to a friend of mine last night, how many years do you think it's been since I ate a whole candy bar?
How many years do you think it's been since I ate a whole candy bar?
Zero. Well, that's not correct.
It's probably been about 15 years since I've eaten a whole candy bar.
Now, I'll have a little bit of chocolate once in a while.
My daughter goes out, gets, you know, I'll have a little, one of those Reese's Pieces with the, I like those ones with the peanut butter inside.
Yeah, your bones are like 5% of your weight.
Well, not all of my bones.
One of my bones is approximately 300% of my weight.
But yeah, you just um...
Yeah, I'm probably 25 pounds down from when I did the truth about procrastination.
Now, I lost that weight in my 40s and I've kept it off in my 50s.
How? How do you lose?
I lost almost 30 pounds in my 40s and kept it off into my 50s.
Well, how? Just don't eat shit.
Well, it's not even discipline.
I mean, it's a whole lot easier to say no once at the grocery store than to say no 20 times at home.
You just don't buy shit that's bad for you.
And this can be a little tough with kids because there seems to be this constant conveyor belt of sugar coming into the house with kids in a variety of ways.
But, you know, you do your best.
So, yeah, you exercise and you just, you know, I've recently sort of really cut back on the sugar and all of that.
And, you know, just shop around the outside.
Don't go into the highly colored fantasy fruit, bright colored garbage that's in the middle of the store.
For God's sakes, don't have any fucking thing to do with soda.
Not a thing. I don't care if it's diet.
I don't care if it's a regular. In my humble opinion, not advice, just my humble opinion, that shit is completely toxic.
That is completely toxic.
And, you know, here's another tip.
If you're not hungry, how about you don't eat?
I delete the fast food apps because all the time they keep reminding you about buying it.
Yeah, my daughter went with some friends to Burger King the other day and she's like, holy crap, everything is a thousand calories or more.
I'm hungry now. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's a funny thing that if a man has the slightest preference, he gets shamed, attacked, and bullied, and sometimes de-platformed, right?
Or just say a basic fact, right?
I mean, unless you're a real chubby chaser, don't you prefer a more slender woman?
I mean, for me, that's like, I'm sorry, that was a have-to.
That was a have-to. I like to be really active.
I like to hike. I like to play sports.
I like to work out. I like to just be out and about.
I'm a Roman and the Gloman kind of guy.
And I could not do that with an overweight girlfriend or an overweight wife.
I mean, my wife is like 110, 115.
And that's my thing, right?
And to me, you know, I also know that BMI is sometimes, often inversely correlated to IQ. And it's just a way of, you know, it's like an immediate sorting thing, right?
Do you have self-control?
Do you have unresolved trauma?
Like, it's just a sorting thing for me.
And, you know, I get it.
Some people like the bigger girls and all of that sort of stuff.
I'm just saying that. So...
Just having preferences. You have preferences and women kind of freak out.
And here's the thing too. I don't know how to navigate the world successfully without taking into account and pursuing people's preferences.
How do people navigate the world ignoring the preferences of those around them?
How do you run a car dealership without noting the preferences of your customers?
How do you run a restaurant without noting the preferences of your customers?
How do you do anything without noting and bending towards the preferences of your customers?
You guys are my customers. I rely upon your support.
Thank you so much. I rely upon your tips.
Thank you so much. I try to talk about what's important to you.
Just so you know what I do here, and if you find this stuff boring or whatever, you want to change my perspective, just ask me a question.
Say, I think we've had enough of this topic.
Let's move on to this. And I absolutely will.
I'm here to bend to you. I'm here to bend to you.
Bend over to you, perhaps. How on earth do you go through life not caring about other people's preferences or shaming them?
Or shaming them for their preferences.
I mean, can you imagine? You're running a restaurant and a slender woman orders a salad and you shame her for being fat phobic.
How dare you order greens!
I've got a perfectly good cheesecake blend.
How dare you?
You know how insulting that is to other women that you're ordering a salad?
What's the matter with you?
Can you imagine shaming someone in your restaurant for ordering what they want?
For having a preference?
I don't understand. What is going on in this world?
Yeah, you get flack for excluding single women with children from your search, of course.
You don't want to raise another man's children.
I get that. Now, maybe if you can't have kids or whatever, then maybe you want that or whatever.
But, you know, it's complicated.
It's messy. You've got a broken-hearted woman with probably a fairly aggressive ex around.
I mean, that's no fun, right?
But how is it, like, how is it that...
How is it that...
Women not only don't seem to care what men want, but the moment the man expresses a preference, he gets attacked and shamed.
Like, yeah, no authority with the kids and all that.
Like, how is that, right?
How is it that all women's standards are excellence and refusing to settle and you go queen and yes, slay and all?
Like, how is it that all women's preferences are noble, benevolent, enlightened, and confident, and all men's preference are shameful, hating misogyny?
Like, isn't... I mean, tell me if I'm wrong because I'm not in the dating world, right?
God forbid I ever will be again, right?
But am I... Am I alone in this?
Hit me with a why.
Do you see this?
Yeah. You think I'm on target?
There are more and more divorced men with children who marry divorced women with children.
They have extended families.
This is more and more the norm.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of non-related children growing up together.
I'm not a big fan of that at all.
But isn't it wild though?
So what is going on?
Why would men's preferences be shamed and women's preferences be elevated?
Why? What are your theories?
What's going on? It's completely bizarre when you think about it, right?
Because men's preferences are disempowering Mwah.
Thank you.
Smear tactic for lower quality women.
Like, it's a dating strategy. Like some Hispanic guy asks a black woman out and she says no and he says,
Oh, you just don't like Hispanic guys and you're bigoted or whatever.
Is it something like that? I don't know.
I don't know. I mean in general whenever I see a big cultural trend I just assume it's around you know a lot of people want fewer people in the world right?
Because these modern female preferences align with a lot of interests, break their will to comply.
The dissolution of the nuclear Christian family is always the goal of those in power, deep-state agenda.
Yeah, it could be. But a woman who refuses to settle is noble, and a man who refuses to settle is a misogynist.
Which is kind of bizarre.
Like, having reasonably high standards for women apparently is to just hate women.
That's so anti-woman, I can't even tell you, right?
Women have been more effectively propagandized.
I don't know. I mean, I think women as a whole are slightly higher in trade compliance or something like that, right?
I don't know. It's a funny thing.
I think Adam and Eve, it was Eve's preference to eat the fruit and Adam just went along with it, yeah.
I mean, I think in general, it makes women...
I mean, if a man's preference is to be shamed, then women don't get the feedback of when they're going to stay single, right?
These preferences of modern programming must be some game theory that sustains it.
The result is that there aren't enough high-value men.
No standards means women will be slobs, which ruins families and birth rates.
In my experience, I think this is a woman, it's very hard to find a solid man who doesn't manipulate, bully, and try to control.
Where are they? I'm trying to break the cycle for my daughter.
What happened to her dad?
Was he the bully, manipulate and controlling guy?
These preferences puts the blindfolds on women until they slam into the wall.
Yeah, I guess. I mean...
Oh, he was a total bully?
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Why did you have a kid with a bully, though?
Did you not notice that?
Was your dad a bully? I mean, was that all you were used to?
I mean, did you not notice before you had a kid with him that he was a bully?
Because now you're trying to break the cycle and it's tougher because you have a kid, right?
So it's going to be tougher to find a man because you're going to have to find a man who is willing to raise another man's child when he doesn't...
And you have to find a man who's willing to raise another man's child who's the child of a bully, right?
And who the bully, I assume, is still going to be in her life or whatever, right?
And therefore in his life and aggressive and...
It's a mess.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean... Oh gosh, that's a really terrifying story.
You were raped by your employer and got together with him for protection.
He manipulated, lied, and I got pregnant.
You're raped by your employer?
Gosh, I'm so hard to hear that.
Why would you need to run to a man for protection, though?
Wouldn't you go to the police and get him arrested?
I mean, you would go straight to the hospital and get the rape kit, and gosh, that's terrible.
I mean, not anything you did, that's terrible what happened to you, that's appalling, but why would you go to another man for protection?
wouldn't you go to the police for protection?
I'm just waiting for the story to come out.
That's just, I mean, gosh, that's a...
If you want to do a call-in, you can just email me, callin at freedomain.com.
That's quite a story.
It's quite a terrible story, and I'm so sorry.
My father threw me under the bus as a teenager.
I wouldn't even think to call the police or go home.
What do you mean? You know rape's illegal, right?
I mean, you know that, right? I wouldn't even think to call the police or go home.
What do you mean? Well, where did you go?
I mean if there's a rapist out there I needed the job now No, no, there's other jobs in the world.
Come on. Come on. Please.
There's other jobs in the world, and I guess my concern would be, I mean, if there's a rapist out there and you don't go to the police, doesn't he just keep raping people?
of women I assume.
I'm sorry to hear that, that's an awful story.
It's just appalling what happened to you.
That's just terrible.
It's just terrible. He probably did.
Do you mean rape other women later?
Later he got me another job as a server.
Wait, this was at a restaurant?
Well, first of all, restaurant employees over 30 are often completely mental.
But are you saying that you couldn't get a job at another restaurant?
I mean, restaurants are always hiring, aren't they?
And the rapist, your rapist got you a job and you took it like as a benefit?
Yeah, the restaurants are always hiring, right?
I don't understand. Yes, he raped others, I'm sure.
It was a summer resort out in the middle of nowhere.
Gosh. Oof.
Well, of course, I assume that the benefit is such a benefit can be gotten out of such a terrible situation.
I had to get away from my family, she says.
Well, of course. I mean, I understand your family was bad.
Your father threw you under the bus.
But... There's lots of ways to get away from your family without staying with a rapist or staying under the control of a rapist.
Isn't there? And then going from the rapist to the bullying, controlling man with whom you had the children, with whom you had the child, right? Okay, I'm sorry, I don't mean to sort of jump into the middle of a call-in show here, but my particular concern, other than for the terrible things that happened to you when you were doing this, right?
A woman says, I think sometimes things are more complicated in life.
I did get out of his control because I had protection from my future husband.
All right, I will leave this up to you, my friend.
You can tell me, one to ten, how frank do you want me to be?
How frank do you want me to be? And I'm not doing any of this out of negativity or hostility or anything like that.
I'm very sympathetic for what happened to you.
I need a number. One to ten.
How frank do you want me to be? Doesn't mean I'm right.
I'm just giving you my feedback.
Really out of some concern for your daughter.
Okay, so you want to tan.
Okay, so let's go back up here.
Let's go back up here.
I'm going to get your texts together here, because I have some concerns about how these justifications are going to be affecting your daughter.
Okay. I needed the job.
Okay. All right. I think that's it.
Oh, yes. I needed the job.
Oh, yes. He probably did rape other women.
He said later he got me a job as a server.
It was a summer resort out in the middle of nowhere.
I had to get away from my family.
All right. Let me just make sure here.
See you later.
Okay. So, this is to the woman.
what percentage responsible are you for getting pregnant?
What percentage responsible are you for getting pregnant?
No. 100%.
100% responsible.
100% responsible. I mean, to be fair, your boyfriend is also 100% responsible.
No, you're 100% responsible.
So you say, I got pregnant.
No. You had unprotected sex and you chose pregnancy.
You don't get pregnant unless you're married.
You engage in specific behavior that has a risk of pregnancy and you get pregnant.
So, you're trying to break the cycle for your daughter.
So the way that you break the cycle from your daughter is you take 100% ownership for what you did.
Now, this doesn't mean that you're responsible for being raped.
It doesn't mean that the guy who raped you isn't a monstrously evil guy, and he is, and I would be perfectly happy if he were in jail for the rest of his life.
So, right? But in terms of protecting your daughter...
Oh, even Mary said, let it be done.
Okay. So you've got causality here, right?
My father threw me under the bus as a teenager.
I wouldn't even think to call the police or go home.
So you're saying that even though you know that rape is immoral, even though you know that rape is evil, even though you know rape, you go to the police in order to protect other people, you say, the reason I didn't go to the police is my father threw me under the bus as a teenager.
So you've got causality, right?
You say, I was right by my employer.
I got together with Bob, the boyfriend, for protection.
He manipulated, lied, and I got pregnant.
So you're a victim. Right?
He manipulated, lied, and I got pregnant.
I got together with my boyfriend for protection.
He manipulated, lied, and I got pregnant.
So you're acted upon. You're passive.
You're acted upon. You know, like I pick up this chapstick and move it around.
I put it down. The chapstick has no will of its own, right?
And then why didn't you go to the police to have him arrested so that you would protect other women?
Well, because my father did this, and that's why I couldn't, I didn't even think of it.
And you say, well, why did you stay?
With the rapist around, say, I needed the job, right?
And, again, I sympathize enormously.
I'm sure absolutely terrible things happened to you as a child, and I massively sympathize.
But here's the thing. Are you communicating to your daughter that she gets acted upon and she has no particular free will of her own, and she's not responsible for her choices?
Things happen to her.
She gets acted upon. She is inanimate.
She's passive. Things happen to her.
You got raped and then you ran to this man.
He manipulated light. You got pregnant.
You needed the job. You never even thought to call the police.
And then you take a favor from your rapist.
I had to get away from my family.
I mean, again, I sympathize for that enormously, but there's many ways to get away from your family which don't involve taking favors from rapists.
And you say, I think sometimes things are more complicated in life.
No, no, but you see, the way that you present them is they're not complicated.
This happened because of this, right?
Because my father threw me under the bus, I couldn't go to the police.
Because he lied and manipulated, I got pregnant.
Right? I had to get away from my family.
You're giving me very, and again, I know it's text and all that, but you're giving me very simple explanations, and I'm saying that I think what you want to model for your daughter is 100% ownership, and I know that's tough.
You were a young woman, and you had to get away from your family.
Maybe you were still underage. I don't know at this case, right?
I don't know at this case. But was there any signs that this rapist was dangerous?
Was there any predatory behavior?
Was there any signs that you didn't process or didn't act upon in order...
And again, I'm not saying you're responsible for any of this stuff in terms of rape that happened to you, but the goal, I think, is as much as possible to try and protect your daughter, isn't it?
And if things just happen to women...
And they're not responsible for anything, then how is your daughter going to be responsible for what happens in her life?
In other words, if there was no way to avoid it, aren't bad things going to happen to her under the impression that there's no way to avoid these things?
And again, I say this with massive amounts of sympathy for what happened to you as a child, and massive amounts of sympathy for being raped.
I mean, that's just absolutely appalling and evil and monstrous and horrible.
And again, there's no punishment to me that would be harsh enough or bad enough for a rapist.
But... And maybe this is not the right venue.
Maybe we... Again, we do a call-in or we can just skip this entirely.
But... When I... Let's see here.
Since I started listening to you, I've taken complete responsibility and I tell her all of the time I'm devoted to my children.
Well, see, I mean, this is the challenge, right?
So I have the empirical evidence of you not taking responsibility and then I have you telling me that you take complete responsibility because I'm looking over the text that you wrote here and there's nothing that says...
Well, I had to be protected from my rapist, and he manipulated, lied, and I got pregnant.
The reason I didn't go to the cops was because my father threw me under the bus as a teenager.
I needed the job, right?
I had to get away from my family.
I don't want to say excuses, but these are all causalities as to why you did what you did, and it's blaming external circumstances for what happened to you and what you chose.
And that's my particular concern.
And I'll just tell you this, like, I don't know if you think of me as sort of a vaguely high-quality male or something like that.
But if you want a man to come into your life, if he sees that you made excuses for bad decisions in the past, or if that's what he perceives, and again, maybe you've got, you know, in your heart or in your home or in another circumstance or environment, you do take this sort of 100% responsibility.
And again, I want the very best for you and I want the very best for your daughter.
Absolutely, you know, working as hard as I can to try and provide that in my own way.
But if a high-quality man, and I think that there are some very good men here in this call, if a high-quality man comes into your orbit and he hears this story, or however it's communicated verbally, but for the men here, if you heard this story, the way in which this woman put it forward, would you ask her for a second date?
Just hit me with a Y or an N. If you would, ask her for a second date and want to get involved in her family.
Because again, I don't know what the standards are these days, and I'm perfectly happy to be completely wrong.
But it seems no, right?
So, yeah, it's a no for everyone.
And again, I'm sure you're a very wonderful woman.
You listen to the show, so I'm going to give you huge props and put you in the top 1% of intelligence, and I want what's absolutely best for you and best for your daughter and all of that.
So for the men here, why wouldn't you want a second date?
Why wouldn't you want a second date?
Because she's looking for somebody to help her raise her kids and all of that.
And now, of course, that's a single mom of the thing, and I understand all of that, but in terms of any other sort of the red flags, because I want you to get a good man into your life if that's possible, and there's ways that you can communicate what happened to you and get that across in a way that isn't as much of a red flag for a man.
I mean, I would, you know, if I heard the story just personally, I would be like huge amounts of sympathy and it's absolutely tragic and horrible and horrifying.
However, for every bad thing, there's an excuse and that's a big red flag for a man.
So for instance, and you know this, if you're a woman listening to this, sometimes it's a little easier to see it the other way, right?
So if a man said, oh yeah, I got fired from three jobs, but that's because all of my bosses...
We're just complete assholes. They just had it in for me.
They just hated me for no reason.
And they just drove me out.
And then my life savings were stolen by this woman who came across really honest, but she turned out to be a total con woman.
And then I ended up...
I was so stressed by that.
I drove drunk and blah, blah, blah.
And if everything is like causal...
Like there's an external, it's called an external locus of control.
The locus of control is who's in charge of your life.
If everything bad that happened to a man was not his fault, was not his responsibility,
then he's saying to you, bad things happen to me, there's nothing I can do about it.
So Thank you.
Thank you.
So, and it's hard, man.
It's really, especially if you have a bad childhood, it's really hard to just say I'm 100% responsible for everything that happened to me when I became an adult.
It's hard because, again, you start way back in the starting line and it's really, it's difficult.
It's difficult. But I will tell you this, that...
For me, that's been my salvation.
If there's one single thing that's been my salvation, it is taking 150% responsibility for everything.
Excuses of promises of repetition.
And again, what you've suffered is heartbreaking and massive sympathies.
But excuses are promises of repetition.
If you've had this amount of chaos and dysfunction in your life, but you make excuses, well, there's always an environment, there's always people around who are trying to do bad things, and Excuses and promises of repetition.
Whatever you excuse, you're promising more of the same to whoever's coming along.
And I want you to have a good guy around, whether he's a father to your kids or just a nice guy around, or even just a friend.
It could be a female friend.
But I could be wrong about this, so I'm totally happy to have feedback on this.
You can tell me where I've gone completely stray.
Maybe I'm completely deluded.
But... Have I blamed external circumstances, people or events for problems in my life?
Maybe I have, and maybe I'm blind to this and I'm totally happy to, you know, we all have our blind spots and so on.
And if I have, I would like to correct that.
but have I blamed external people, situations, factors or events for problems
in my life?
I'm sure I've done it. I'm sure I've done it.
Everyone does it. But that's not my commitment is to really take 150% self-ownership, right?
150% self-ownership.
You quite often give credit to your mom for the way you are.
I think there's some causality there for sure.
And recreating a desire for rationality without trauma has been quite an exciting parenting journey.
Let me tell you that, right?
And if I have, you know, please let me know and if you can provide the reference so I can listen to it and I want to correct that.
I want to correct that.
I had a bad childhood, and everything that happened as an adult is my responsibility.
.
I had a bad childhood and everything that happened as an adult is my responsibility.
And for me, adulthood started at 15 when I started paying my own bills and took roommates in rather than have a parent paying the bills and so on, right?
So for me, it's been 42 years, 15 to 57 almost, like 56, so it's been...
41 years of working as hard as I can to be responsible for everything in my life.
Somebody says, not really. You've spoken about how these events impacted your life, but you haven't blamed those events for current or recent problems or shortcomings, right?
There was a woman who promised to publish her book if I would sleep with her.
It doesn't seem like you view yourself in a victim status there, though.
Yeah, if I had slept with that woman to get my first book published, and this happened twice in my life, a woman promised to have one of my early plays produced for the radio, for the national radio.
So, if I had chosen to sleep with those women in order to get...
My work out there to be minor Weinstein's, then that would be 100% on me.
Oh, but these women, they took my greatest desire and weakness and used it again.
It's like, nope. 100% me.
100% me. It doesn't mean what they did is not wrong.
It is wrong. I get that.
It is wrong. But I can't control what they do.
I can only control what I do.
If I had given excuses, I would not have survived or improved.
Somebody says, I had a similar offer from a female boss.
Found a new job first. Yeah.
Yes, yes, yes.
I mean, I once got a job in university for the summer.
I was going to go and work on a hunting lodge and a hunting sort of cabin area.
Over the summer, and I said, you know, well, I'm working on a book, and they're like, oh, I remember the woman saying, oh, no, the man was saying, oh, yeah, yeah, come on, you can work on the book, there'll be tons of time, you know, and then it was like 16, 17, 18 hours a day of work.
And I was getting paid a fixed amount.
And of course, once I did the math in my head, it was like, oh no, I'm not doing this.
There's no time to work on a book.
My pay is pathetic.
And it's really not much fun.
And I just quit. And I remember that was a long freaking boat ride back from that island.
A long boat ride back from the island.
It was like, I don't know, an hour and a half boat ride.
It was a really remote, I guess like this, really remote hunting cabin.
I was just being exploited, in my view.
And so I was, no, I'm not doing this.
No, thank you. I can get a better job than this.
This is not, I was kind of, false pretense has got me out there.
Now, I can get enraged and blah, blah, blah.
It's like, no, it's on me.
It's on me. It's on me.
Because that way you get to choose all of that, right?
I get to choose all of that.
Bad things happen to me.
I'm 100% responsible for what I do with those bad things.
100% responsible for what I do with those bad things.
Like I've had this whole series of call-ins lately.
Maybe I'm just noticing it more, which is this domino shit, right?
Well, my mother was mean to me because she had a bad childhood.
Nope! Well, my father yelled at me because his father was very critical.
Nope! No!
Absolutely not. A thousand times no.
No. There's no because.
There's no because there.
The woman says here, I've learned about the domino excuse from you.
It's painful. And I blame my father before turning 18.
Absolutely right. I think I was pretty messed up by that time because I went out with a much older man and got pregnant.
By that time. So you went out with a much older man and got pregnant when you were still legally a child?
Is that right? You were 16, 17?
Do I have that correct? My parents insisted I have an abortion.
I had terrible depression by the time I left home.
It's hard to accept responsibility for the train wreck that ensued, but you're right.
I am responsible. Somebody said, I only discovered you after you got cancelled.
Yesterday I listened to your speech at the European Union you recently posted.
It was great, very powerful.
I'm wondering how did the audience, those EU MPs, take it?
Did anyone come up to you afterwards and congratulate you or comment on the content?
No. No, of course not.
That was for the world.
That was for the future. That certainly wasn't for the people in the audience.
Boy, I don't know. Maybe in Brazil, when I told a bunch of politicians how corrupt the government was to their faces, I remember doing that in Brazil.
Or, you know, the various ambushes on TV or on Joe Rogan.
Those were not super comfortable situations, but I don't think I've ever faced a more hostile audience than that particular crowd.
Because, and again, they don't care about me.
The only relationship they had was to their own conscience, which I perhaps represented.
So sorry, I'm just, this is to the woman here.
So you went out with a much older man and got pregnant when you were still legally a child?
You were 17?
You were 17. Sorry about that.
And that to me, yeah, that's despicable on the part of the man, you were still under the care and power of your parents and I just have massive amounts of sympathy for that.
Massive amounts of sympathy. Just, I'm so sorry that you went through all of that and If I could give you a big spiraling intergalactic backward time hug, I absolutely would.
But you have to grit your teeth, man.
I could have had every excuse to become a very bad person.
Somebody was posting about my speech at the European Union, how professional and passionate it was, and how much I could have achieved if I'd gone into sophistry, the politics and so on, right?
Oh yeah, absolutely. I could have had every excuse in the known universe...
To become a very bad person.
Very bad. Very bad.
Like historical. History books bad.
I could have had every single excuse.
This is my words a couple of weeks ago.
Causality for others is licentiousness for yourself.
When you remove others from the requirements to practice universality, and when a universality is claimed, you are also giving yourself an excuse.
Don't let someone else's hypocrisy infect you.
You cannot prescribe to others without prescribing to yourself.
Universalize what you require from others to yourself.
Break the cycle of excuses.
Yes. I still could take those excuses probably, yeah.
Well, I have less need for it now.
But who would have imagined that somebody raised by two mentally ill people, well, two institutionalized people, would come up with the rational proof of secular ethics?
Who would have thought that somebody raised with such extreme levels of violence and dysfunction would promote peaceful parenting to millions and millions and millions of people?
You wouldn't have guessed it from where I came from.
And what you can't guess from where people come from is really, really important.
And I've said this to people. I've said, okay, imagine you see me from 0 to 15.
What kind of life do you think I'm going to have?
Also, I had the power of physical beauty and charisma and language skills and artistic abilities.
And I had a lot of potential damage within me that I could have unleashed on the world.
And I bet the devil would still like to make you an offer if you were open to it.
Well, I think it's fair to say that I've had a few temptations.
I mean, over the years, people have offered me on occasion some fairly jaw-dropping amounts of money to change my position on things, and I... It's not tempting.
I really wish it... I mean, I almost wish it was because then I'd feel more virtuous for overcoming the temptation.
You know, like when the women were saying, you know, sleep with me and I'll get you published and I'll get your artistic career started, which is what I most wanted at the time.
Honestly, I could say it was really a tough fight.
Why didn't you just take the money and not change your positions?
Joe, why do you have to ask that?
I'm such an idiot, I should...
I've got to make some phone calls.
Why didn't I just take the money and not change my positions?
Why didn't I just defraud them of their money?
I'm sorry, why?
Okay, let me put this out to the audience.
Why didn't I do that? Why did I take that money?
I did not change my positions.
I'm not a thief.
Gigolo staff.
I'm just a gigolo, and everywhere I go...
People know the part I'm playing.
Paid for every dance, selling each romance.
Ooh, what they're saying.
There will come a day when youth will pass away.
All right.
So if you don't know the song, that makes no sense.
And if you do, it makes little sense even.
It's definitely Roth. Oh, that's a cover.
That's old Lou Bacon, I think, from way back in the day.
So I would be lying to people, I would be defrauding them, I would be cheating them, and then they would have power over me, right?
They would have power over me.
I would have been John Kerry.
Yeah, they would have had power over me, right?
Because then they would have said, no, no, no, you said this, and if you don't, we're going to publish this, and we're going to sue you, and we're going to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and Louis Prima, thank you.
What would they say about me?
Yeah, that makes sense, right? In the end comes, I know I'm just a gigolo.
Life goes on without me.
I ain't got no...
Okay, so yeah, no, honestly.
I mean, was I tempted?
Not really. Like, honestly, once you pound into your bones, there's nothing for free, then temptation is really not that great.
Oh, I could have got all this money, right?
But that's the offer of the devil, right?
Betray your principles for money.
And then you end up neither with your principles nor any happiness with the money.
The money is then just a reminder.
It's a foul set of digits online that is the tombstone of your integrity.
And honestly, like, there's nothing for free.
There's nothing for free. There's nothing for free.
There's nothing for free.
Everything costs, and that's what I want people to focus on with regards to excuses.
Excuses aren't free.
The avoidance of responsibility, the shucking off to circumstances that which is yours, which is your will, your choice.
Judas didn't even want the silver afterwards.
Yeah, you're offered all of this shit, all of this great stuff.
A million dollars. Here's a million dollars, right?
And you think, damn, I'd be really happy with a million dollars.
But after you take the million dollars, you're no longer the same person.
It's like somebody says, you know, here's the key to joy.
It's like, I want joy.
Then you take the key, but the lock changes because you're no longer the same person.
It's gone. Nothing.
There's no such thing as a free lunch.
And there's no such thing as cost-free excuses.
Ever. Cost-free excuses.
There's no such thing.
Every excuse carries with it a brutal price.
Making excuses takes a lot of my time away from me.
And listen, I get the temptation.
We all want to play dead, roll over, feel passive that we were just acted upon, and that way we avoid any guilt, self-recrimination, all of these kinds of things, right?
Jesus would have forgiven Judas?
Absolutely false. Absolutely, completely, and totally false.
And I do not like you, personally, for making that statement.
That's just my opinion. I'm not saying you're a bad person or anything like that.
I'm saying I feel a deep and visceral dislike for that statement.
Jesus would have forgiven Judas.
No. Absolutely not.
Now, if Judas had fallen on his knees to beg repentance and forgiveness...
If Judas had offered himself up to take Jesus' place on Calvary to be crucified.
Maybe. Maybe.
You see, you're putting the entire onus on Jesus to forgive Judas and then calling Jesus a bad person if he doesn't.
No! No!
Judas earns the forgiveness.
Judas earns the forgiveness!
Judas earns!
Well, many theologians have said that.
See, you know what that is?
It's a fucking excuse, man.
Well, theologians have said it.
Hey, man, don't shoot the messenger.
No, you said it. You said it.
Own what you say. Don't blame other people.
Did the theologians possess you?
Did they stick a hand up your ass and make you say it Pinocchio style?
No. Are they Geppetto? No.
You said this. You typed this stuff.
Own it. Don't leave your actions in the lurch.
If you repeat somebody else's bad argument and it turns out to be a bad argument, don't blame them.
You did it. You repeated it.
You typed it. You presented it as your own.
You said Jesus would have forgiven Judas.
You didn't say, well, I've read theologians and I don't know, but this is what some people say.
No, no. You presented it as your argument, your knowledge.
He can forgive murder?
No, he can't forgive murder.
Jesus cannot forgive murder.
God will not forgive murder.
The murderer can earn forgiveness with repentance and there's some theology where that is Not a venal sin, but a mortal sin, and it cannot be forgiven.
The murderer, let's see, the evildoer, the sinner, he can earn forgiveness, but nobody, nobody owes forgiveness to the unearned.
Nobody owes forgiveness to the unearned.
I guess my catechism has been false then.
Okay, so now you're blaming it on the catechism?
You know that hell exists, right?
Come on, your catechism.
Let's do this. Let's do this.
You know that hell exists, right?
So, if everyone should be forgiven, why is there hell?
Why is there punishment of sinners?
Why is there punishment of sinners if everyone is forgiven?
Dante shoved Judas into Satan's mouth to be chewed up eternally for the sin of betrayal.
Well, unless you count Dante as divinely inspired, that's an Italian poet on higher husk.
It seems like sometimes.
Because if they are truly contrite, they can be forgiven.
Correct, right. Now, Was Judas, before the death of Jesus, the murder of Jesus, was Judas contrite?
Did he beg forgiveness?
Did he say, I will take your place on Calvary?
Did he try everything in his power to save Jesus?
No, he did not.
Right? So, you say...
That people must be truly contrite before they can be forgiven, right?
And you know that Judas was not contrite, but you say Jesus would have forgiven Judas.
I don't understand. Like, I'm sorry.
I genuinely baffled.
I'm genuinely baffled here.
You say that this is...
This is Logic 101. Judas would have to be contrite in order to be forgiven.
Judas was not contrite but Jesus would have forgiven him.
Somebody's saying that the only unforgivable sin is rejecting the Holy
Is that right? Condemning the Holy Spirit?
Blaspheming the Holy Spirit?
No, see, here's the reason.
I think, honestly, I will tell you straight up.
This is my opinion. It's my perspective.
I think there's a good case for it.
I'm not saying this is so logistically proven, all right?
Blanket forgiveness is a satanic concept.
Blanket forgiveness is a satanic concept casting more people into hell than even sin, original sin itself.
The demand for blanket forgiveness, the promotion of forgiveness as a willed action on the part of the wronged, without contrition on the part of the wrongdoer.
It's a purely satanic concept.
Because if you must show contrition in order to be forgiven, but Satan twists that so that the commandment is to the wronged person you must forgive, then no contrition is demanded and people go spiraling straight down to hell.
Do you understand? Do you understand?
If you must Be contrite in order to be saved.
Then Satan would say, you must grant forgiveness without contrition so that people go to hell.
This is why I really, really disliked what you said.
I'm not saying you're satanic.
I understand, right? I'm just saying that this perspective, and it's really a modern thing.
It's a weirdly modern thing.
It's like the COVID amnesty.
Yeah, yeah, hey, amnesty, absolutely.
you know, talk about what assholes you were.
No, no, no.
Blanket instruction to forgive without contrition is one of the great enablers
of evil.
In the world, one of the greatest enablers of evil is the commandment for victims to forgive without contrition on the part of the evildoers, on the part of the wrongdoers.
What are the requirements to be forgiven?
They are threefold. Number one, number one, a genuine apology.
Number two, restitution.
We're humanly possible.
Number three, a plan of action enacted so that it won't happen again.
And you may have forgiveness with no further contact.
Thank you.
People have been sold this lie that if you don't forgive you will be consumed with hatred and bitterness and hostility and you will be burned up in your own heart and the only relief is a blanket forgiveness.
That there's a curse.
There is a curse on you if you don't cough up this blanket forgiveness, this amnesty for all wrongdoers Without the need for contrition.
Without even the need for an apology that means anything.
That they put this curse on you.
You will burn. They put you in hell and say the only relief is blanket forgiveness.
It's absolutely false.
Have I forgiven my mother?
It's not up to me. It's not up to me whether I forgive my mother.
Who is it up to if I forgive my mother?
Who is responsible for me forgiving my mother?
My mother, of course. Of course.
Right? Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
My mother is responsible for earning my forgiveness.
Just as my wife is responsible for earning my love, I'm responsible for earning your tips.
I'm responsible for earning my wife's love.
I'm responsible for earning my daughter's respect.
I can't tell you, like, the amount of damage that...
I'm not trying to put the entire inverted pyramid of the world's problems on you.
I'm just telling you why I really disliked what you said.
It doesn't mean you're a bad person.
It doesn't mean anything negative.
I'm just passionate about this because it's such a big topic, not because I'm mad at you, just so you know.
But I really hate this idea.
Well, you know, if you don't forgive, you'll just be locked in bitterness and resentment for the rest of your life, but forgiveness will set you free.
No. Forgiveness... Sets the wrongdoer free from the consequences of their actions.
That's what forgiveness does.
You see, it's pure projection.
The person who's done evil, they are consumed in flames by the harshness of their own conscience and they're begging you for release from their flames by giving them forgiveness and release from what they haven't earned.
They're actually cursed by their ill deeds.
And what they do is they project their curse onto you and say, no, no, you're the one who's suffering.
And if you forgive me, you'll stop suffering.
And it's bullshit and manipulation.
It's fetid, fetid stuff.
I loathe it. Doesn't mean I spend my days in loathing, but when the topic comes up, I loathe it.
Not you. Not you.
It was just a statement you made that's putting me on a rant, and I held no ill will, and I'm really thankful that you brought the statement up.
I appreciate you bringing the statement up, because this blanket forgiveness shit is just horrendous.
And it's total bullshit.
You know, when I missed a test in school, I got an F. Was I forgiven?
Well, I didn't get any sleep, and my mother didn't wake me, and I'm being beaten, and I'm hungry, and I'm, you know, we got an eviction notice, and I could be out in the street in February.
No, I just, you missed the fucking test, right?
So even when I was 12 years old, no forgiveness.
No forgiveness. So this idea that forgiveness should be granted regardless of contrition, regardless of apology, regardless of restitution, or a plan by which it's not going to happen again, is simply a lie put out by the devil to ensure more evildoers by preventing the negative consequences of evil from accruing to the wrongdoers.
To numb people to the consequences of their sin is to inflame the benefits and cut the costs of doing evil.
Why study for a difficult test if you get an A anyway?
You understand? It's communism.
Take from the able and give to the incompetent.
Take from the hard-working and give to the lazy.
Take virtue from the good and hand it to those too proud, too vile, too selfish, too monstrous to even man up and apologize for what they did.
It's communism in the worst form because it's spiritual communism, of which material communism is but a thin shadow.
I forgive you for being lazy.
Here, take the money from the wealthy.
I forgive you for having a child outside of wedlock.
Here's money from the industrious.
I forgive you for not getting a job.
Here's money from somebody who did give a job.
Charity used to have to be earned, now it's just enforced.
And this forgive everyone is the essence of communism.
It's the essence of totalitarianism.
It is so common in the modern age, as we spiral towards totalitarianism, this demand for forgiveness without it being earned.
You understand? Give shit to people who haven't earned it.
That's communism. And there's a form of spiritual bullying that occurs, not saying you, right?
There's a form of spiritual bullying that occurs.
I'm gonna hit you with the curse of regret if you don't make amends to your parents.
I'm gonna hit you with the curse of regret and fiery flames of discontent and anger and upset.
It's a form of emotional terrorism, you understand, right?
Especially when it comes from parents, right?
I'm gonna hit you with the sin and curse and fiery flames of regret and anger and frustration and emotional incontinence unless you hand to me That which I have not earned.
It's like, oh, like, if forgiveness is so important, just apologize.
No! That's the sin, the pride, the vanity.
If you want money, why not get a job?
No! If you want a vaccine, maybe pay for it for yourself?
No! It's called enabling, right?
It's called enabling. It's when you reward people for their worst habits and punish them for their best habits.
See, nobody's ever going to apologize and improve if they get forgiveness without effort.
If they bully people into providing forgiveness, why would they ever improve anything?
Why? Why would you ever get a job if you got money for free?
Why would you ever ask a woman out on dates and buy flowers and write poems if women are just forced to have sex with you?
Or forced to be with you?
No. It is a great, great, great, deep sin to advocate for forgiveness without contrition.
You are condemning people to a lifetime of brutality and exploitation.
You think you're helping people?
You understand, providing forgiveness without apologies, providing forgiveness without contrition is condemning people to the soft misery of continued immorality.
Because they're falling, but you don't even tell them that they're falling.
They're falling short of any decent standards of virtue, and you cover that up, and you give them a drug.
Do you know how cruel that is?
Your kid has a toothache, and you just give them a powerful painkiller.
Oh, you're fine. You understand?
This kills people. It kills their souls.
It kills their motivation. It kills their reality.
I don't hate my mother enough to give her forgiveness without contrition.
Not anywhere close.
You think it's kindness?
It's not. It's not kindness.
Is it kindness to let somebody who failed at every class in their surgical residency, every operation endangers or kills a patient, is it kindness to let them go out and operate on people?
No. They haven't earned it.
They haven't earned the right. They're not safe.
They're not right. They're not good. I get that people who've done you wrong are desperate for you to forgive them.
I get that. So what? You ever had an addict in your life?
An alcoholic? Getting the DTs, the delirium tremens, shaking, twitching, desperate for a drink?
What, a drug addict?
Sex addict? Gambling addict?
They're all desperate for their fix.
And if you give them their fix, you are condemning them to a kind of death and maybe even a literal death.
You're not serving virtue.
I mean, just be honest with yourself.
You're not serving virtue. You're scared of having standards.
You're scared of being attacked. And I get that.
I understand that. I really sympathize with that.
I'm not going to pretend that's not a real thing.
I know that it is.
I know that it is. But if I had told all the women running out of fertility that they had all the time in the world, they shouldn't worry about anything, and there's a fantastic man right around the corner, am I doing them any favors?
If I lie to the world about essential topics, am I doing the world any favors?
If I say to parents who circumcise and beat their children, no, it's great what you're doing.
It's fine. It's good for you.
My father never apologized for beating me.
Absolutely. I'm so sorry about that.
I'm so sorry about that.
And the only love that you can have for him is to not forgive him without the apology.
It's the only chance he has to regain his soul and avoid hell.
My father did not apologize to me.
I told him what happened. I told him the woman he left in charge of me.
I told him all of this.
And he went to his...
I remember he moved back to the country.
He was born in Ireland. He took up rowing like he was back in university again.
Took up rowing. Went out and did a lot of rowing.
Rowed, rode, rode. Good for him, man.
Good for him, man. He probably died with a very strong back.
Now, Of the dozen or so hours a week he spent rowing, did he spend any of that time trying to contact me to apologize for what happened?
He did not. He did not.
He reconnected with his alma mater.
He met up with school friends and had a pretty merry time of it, I'm sure, in many ways, although I don't know what it's like to live with a bad conscience, but I assume he preferred that.
And so if I had given him forgiveness, I would have withheld from him the chance for redemption.
Now, he chose not to choose redemption.
But you know what my conscience is clear on?
I'll tell you what my conscience is clear on.
My conscience is clear on the fact that I did not drug him with forgiveness.
Because if I had, quote, forgiven him, which would be to provide what he did not earn as if I'm a communist, And it would be at my daughter's expense.
If I had provided him forgiveness, I would have drugged him into not apologizing.
Because he would have already got the benefit.
Take this job and shove it.
Win the lottery, I ain't working here anymore.
I hate this job. Do you know how bad I would feel if I had given my father forgiveness before he died?
And he hadn't apologized.
I would feel ratchet. Do you know why?
You know why. I don't need to tell you, right?
You know why. Why would I have felt really terrible if I had forgiven my father without him earning it and he had died without apologizing?
Why? Why? I would have felt terrible because I would have prevented him from the sole salvation of apologizing by giving him forgiveness without the apology.
I would have prevented him from having the best chance.
I would have prevented his opportunity of redemption From the Christian context, I would have sent him to hell by forgiving him without contrition, without his contrition.
You understand? I would have sent him straight to hell.
I do not hate the man and I do not want him in hell.
I do not want him in hell.
At the same time, I can't corner and force some apology out of him.
I can't bully him.
I can't threaten him. I can't bribe him.
I would have taken away his free will to genuinely apologize, right?
Like, if your kid really needs to learn something, really needs to study something, and what you do is you go to your kid two weeks before the exam, you say, hey, kid, don't worry.
Honestly, I paid off the teacher.
I paid off the faculty. You're getting an A+. Don't worry.
You've got the A. It's fine.
It's done. It's taken care of.
You're getting an A anyway. Okay, what have I done?
I've just robbed my child of the need to learn something.
And you understand, if I was a parent, and I did that, I did that, my daughter desperately needed to learn something, and I bribed, bullied, manipulated, whoever was giving the exam to make sure she got an A, I would be robbing her!
Not of her soul, but of knowledge, and certainly of her respect for me, and she would dislike me down the road, of course, right?
So if I did that, if I gave my daughter the unearned and I got her the consequences of studying without her having to study, if I got her the A without her having to crack a book, my God, would you call me a good person, a good father? Oh yeah, no, he's taken care of, it's good.
Its great! Its great!
No. No no no no no!
No no no no! A thousand times no!
.
You provide people the unearned because you hate them.
There is no greater mark of hatred in this world than giving something to someone that they did not earn.
You hate them for that.
You destroy them for that.
I mean, look at the welfare state and the poor.
Look at foreign aid and foreign governments.
You wreck people by offering them the unearned.
You destroy them.
It's malevolence of the first order to forgive people who have not earned it,
because you're taking away their only possibility of redemption.
It's absolutely satanic.
And people, I don't know, it's like they, oh, I'm a nice person, I forgive.
It's like, you're not a nice person.
You're a horrible person.
I'm not, again, talking about the caller here.
I'm really diving deep into this topic.
Oh, God. Let me just get your comments here.
Thank you for the tips. Un-earned forgiveness is crushing to the people harmed by evildoers.
Oh yeah, of course! Plus, not only are you harming the evildoers by taking away their possibility of redemption and salvation, but you're also absolutely insulting and harming the people who have genuinely earned forgiveness through contrition.
Yeah, everyone gets a trophy, everyone gets money, everyone gets pride, everyone gets praise, right?
Except anybody who asks for standards, then you attack them and try and destroy them, right?
Forgiveness definitely creates a path to continued abuse.
No one can repeatedly open themselves to wrongdoers without damaging themselves.
Absolutely. How difficult is it to apologize?
If apologies, sorry, if forgiveness is so important, then people should just apologize, right?
Yeah, you don't need to exercise Just take this pill. I mean, people have literally done this.
There was this thing called Olestra, which was this oil that was supposed to just have you lose weight and it turned out to give you anal leakage and all that, right?
How would they know they need to improve if you treat them as if they're perfectly virtuous?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
This is like the, yay!
Everyone gets a prize.
Everyone gets a trophy. Everyone gets the gold.
Everyone's special. Everyone's wonderful.
Oh, bleh! There's only so much I can stand being drowned in the pendulous, milk-soaked bosoms of the Eternal Mother as if I'm still a toddler without retching in the deep, well-satanic cleavage of this.
Yay to everyone! It facilitates evil in the world, yeah?
It's also being a doormat if you can't cut them out of your life.
You can't have quality without voluntarism.
If the relationships just have to be there no matter what, then you can't have quality.
You can't have quality. Powerful stream stuff.
Thank you. I appreciate that, Chris.
Thank you. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Here's the thing too, man. If you have people you need to apologize to, don't just be on the receiving victimhood of this, right?
I'm begging you on bended knee.
I will beg you if I could stay within the realm of the mic.
I'm begging you on bended knee, my friends, my brothers, my sisters, my partners in virtue, my fellow travelers.
In the tribe of philosophy, I'm begging you, if there are people you need to apologize to, and you know if there are people you need to apologize to, if there are people you need to apologize to, please dear God above, Listen to the end of this.
Pick up the phone, call them up, and apologize.
And do not hide from the need for salvation.
Do not hide from the need for redemption.
Do not hide from the possibility of heaven.
Do not live in hell out of pride.
Well, they need to apologize to me first.
No, you can't control them, you can only control what you do.
Apologize to people instead of just going to church and repeating the offense.
One of the biggest problems, somebody says, with some of the practitioners of the religion, true Christians apologize to the people they've wronged.
Yes. Somebody says, my father never apologized either.
Over the past 15 years, he decided to pursue and obtained a doctorate in computer science.
That must have been a lot of work, certainly preferable to do that rather than face how he treated his son.
Right. I'm sorry about that, James.
I really am. But you know what?
That's release. That's relief.
That's relief. That's release.
There was nothing there of value.
there was only going to be exploitation and denial.
How do we earn entry into heaven?
At least no man can boast, not by works.
Faith and works.
I love where your arguments are as to somebody doctrinally I'm running into conflict.
Church is supposed to be a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
We celebrate the penitent thief.
It's like universities now.
Everyone passes the class. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Yeah. Apologize to people if you've done them wrong.
Please, apologize for people if you've done them wrong.
Because you can't expect virtue from others that you're not displaying yourself.
I mean, you can expect it, but it's very hypocritical.
Or if they have passed away, can I still apologize?
Yes. Nobody dies in your life while you're still alive.
Like, nobody fundamentally dies in your life while you're still alive because they live in your mind.
They live in your memories. They live in your dreams.
I mean, half the people in my past come back to life every night.
I dreamt about my brother the other day.
Nobody you've ever known dies while you're still alive.
And if all you can do is apologize to your memories, that's enough.
That's enough. They have passed into you through your memory of them.
They have imprinted upon you.
Right? You make a snow angel.
In the snow, it's still there even when you get up and walk away.
You press a seal into wax.
It's still there even after the seal has moved on.
Even after the seal has been destroyed.
The impression is still there.
Even if the person is dead, their impression is still there.
Now, what can't happen is the other way.
If somebody's died, they can never apologize to you.
My father is dead, he can never apologize to me.
However, if I had done wrong by my father and he had died, I could still apologize to him.
But no.
Somebody says, thank you for the beautiful answer.
You're bringing me to tears. Thank you for this eye-opening show.
Listen, I appreciate that. I mean, I'm always, always, always trying to provide maximum deep and powerful value.
In AA, somebody says, I made amends 41 years later worth a pound of gold.
Yeah. If you have an offering at the tabernacle and conflict with your brother, leave your offering, make amends with your brother, then make your offering.
Yeah, some years ago I contacted a woman that when I was in grade 6 and I was in grade 5 and I just came to Canada and she asked me to go steady with her.
I said no because I didn't know what it meant.
I didn't know what it meant. Go steady with me?
What does that mean? Ride a bike without falling?
I don't know. Anyway, I still remembered her name decades later and I contacted her and I said, listen, I don't know if you remember but this happened and I'm sorry that I said no.
You were very nice, very fun, and I just didn't know what it meant.
Now, is this crippled for life?
Probably not, but, you know, I just wanted her to know these things.
I had a girl that I was...
I was kind of half dating when I was in the beginning of high school and I just couldn't quite connect with her, couldn't quite connect with her.
We had some awkward conversations, which is odd because I'm fairly good at conversations.
Anyway, many years later she said, oh, but you know, I won't get into the details, but
she had this massive family tragedy just at that time and it was really good to hear.
What did that woman say that you didn't want to study with her?
Yeah. Well, we did end up dating, so.
Yeah, yeah.
Always, always offer people a path to redemption.
Always offer them a path to redemption.
Do not cut them off.
By giving them forgiveness that they have not earned.
Always, always, always give people a path to redemption.
Do not surrender to the hatred of giving the unearned.
Giving the unearned cripples people and it destroys them.
And I don't mean charity.
I'm not going to be nice and I do charitable stuff.
I give money to charity and I get all of that, right?
But largely to children because it's not their fault, right?
You give that forgiveness, you have condemned someone to hell.
Or you've made it almost infinitely more difficult for them to achieve redemption.
And if you're not religious, that's totally fine.
Redemption in their own mind.
My father's only chance for peace and joy in this life was kept open for him by me not giving him a redemption he did not earn, a forgiveness he did not earn.
I kept that door open.
He chose not to walk through it.
I did not slam and nail that door shut and weld it shut.
I did not weld the door out of the dungeon shut from the outside to my father by giving him a forgiveness he did not earn.
I am not cruel that way.
I'm not cold that way.
I'm not vicious that way.
My mother's still alive.
I have not welded the door shut to her possibility for redemption.
I have kept the door to heaven open in my heart.
Lo, this quarter century since I saw her.
And other people too.
Other people. Always welcome.
Call me up. If you've done me wrong, call me up.
And you know, I've had people on these very streams.
They say something kind of mean, kind of nasty.
I do call-in shows with them and I try and find out and I open up that path to redemption.
Always, always keep that path to redemption open.
Don't drug them with your forgiveness, which they have not earned, because that crushes and condemns them.
It's the sin of despair.
Well, they're never going to earn it, so I'm just going to give it!
Do you think having standards for forgiveness strengthens your resolve?
Having standards for forgiveness strengthens your resolve.
Yeah, I think so.
But it's really just kindness.
It's really just kindness.
You're not doing anyone any favors by calling them thin when they're fat.
You're not doing anyone favors by saying they know something that they don't.
You're harming them.
You're removing from them the possibility for improvement.
If somebody is a bad singer, you're not doing them any favors by telling them they sound glorious.
If they're a bad pianist, you're not doing them any favors by telling them they're a wonderful pianist.
You're not. You're appealing to their vanity and you're saying, because I'm going to give you an effect without a cause, I'm falling prey to the sin of despair, which is you will never earn it.
So I have to give it to you anyway because you're never going to earn it.
You are downgrading them, you're denigrating them, you're crushing them, you're condemning them, and you're paralyzing
them.
The provision of the unearned is almost unparalleled in its cruelty.
Thank you for listening.
There's almost nothing more cruel than providing the un-earned to people.
It's...
And again, I'm not saying it's conscious, but in terms of its effects, it's vicious beyond words.
Beyond words. I don't have one-tenth of one percent of the hatred in my heart to drug people with the forgiveness they have not earned and condemned them to hell.
See, the devil wants them to go to hell, so he wants you to give them forgiveness, and they want forgiveness without having earned it.
Of course they do! People who've screwed up, the gambling addict who just blew his...
Children's education money.
He's desperate for someone to come in and pay those bills.
He's desperate for it. I get that.
I understand that. People are desperate for forgiveness, which they don't earn.
And what happens if you bungee in and you pay off the gambling addict's debts?
What happens? He just goes and gambles again and makes it even worse.
And then maybe he ends up getting killed because he can't pay those debts.
No, no, no. I'm just begging you, man.
I'm begging you. Don't listen to the devil himself and offer up the unearned.
Out of the sin of despair to paralyze people from the potential for virtue.
Do not shut and fucking weld that door shut which is their path out of the dungeon towards the light.
Do not bury them in Plato's cave and in delusions and delusions of their own virtue.
Do not provide them the effects of virtue which they have not earned.
You are blocking them from the possibility of virtue and happiness Peace of mind, serenity, and love.
How much do you have to hate people to bar them from the possibility of love?
When you give people forgiveness which they have not earned, you bar them from the possibility of love.
You bar them from virtue.
Reason equals virtue equals happiness.
You are locking them in a dungeon of self-contempt with a one-way path to hell itself.
Not nice, people!
Not even a little.
and arguably, it's arguably giving evil doers forgiveness
without the need for restitution arguably is worse than whatever they did to you
It's worse than whatever they did to you.
Because what they did to you you're aware of as an evil and you are cloaking their capacity to understand that what they did was evil.
Is it worse for somebody to give you a black eye or is it worse for somebody to give you a drug that kills the pain of a toothache?
A drug that kills the pain of a toothache, bacteria spread, the rot spreads, you swallow it, it goes down to your heart and you die.
Or you lose half your jaw.
So drugging people from their pain is arguably worse than just punching them in the face.
And you are drugging people with false forgiveness.
You are drugging people with providing them the unearned.
You are drugging them.
If you get your tooth cleared, you get the antibiotics, you get your root canal, you get your tooth cleared, you're better.
Feeling the pain is your only chance for health.
Drugging the pain is death.
It's death. Providing the unearned is a form of slow spiritual murder.
Forgiveness without restitution is a spiritual form of sniping.
It comes from a place of murderousness.
It comes from a place of rage.
It's incredibly destructive.
My mother won't, but I didn't lock that door from the outside.
I did not give her forgiveness which she had not earned.
I did not pretend she was virtuous when she resisted virtue.
That door is open. Now, if my mother died, my father's already dead.
If my mother died and I had welded that door shut from the outside, I'd locked her in the tomb of her own immorality by providing her forgiveness, which she had not earned, by drugging her as to the pain, the only possibility that she could change is from the pain at this point.
Do you know how guilty I would be?
You know, this is a lot of the dysfunction in the world.
There's people who've been guilted and terrorized and fall prey to the sin of despair to provide forgiveness for people who have not apologized.
It's a lot to do with why the world is becoming so corrupt.
So, I'm sorry.
Long speech. I know you found it helpful, and if you'd like to tip, I, of course, would really, really appreciate it.
But I'll forgive you if you don't.
No, I won't. I won't.
I won't. I'll think about it. But that's why when the person said...
Jesus would have forgiven Judas.
I'm like, hmm. It took a while to get to the rant.
But we got there.
And we're two hours and 50 minutes into the show.
Was it worth it? I think it was worth it.
And you were here live. It's going to be played for 10,000 years.
I'm telling you, this can be played for 10,000 years.
I absolutely know it.
I absolutely know it. It's going to be played for 10,000 years.
And you were here right at the beginning.
You were here live. And even if you hear it on the replay, even if you just start watching it again, even if you hear from the replay, you were here right at the beginning.
Isn't that incredible? Isn't that incredible?
I remember when Sting was playing some concerts and he was like, oh yeah, the first time we were here with the El McCombo.
And there were like nine people in the audience.
Of course, half the people cheered. He's like, there weren't that many of you there.
Hello, guy from the future listening to this.
I hope you have flying cars already.
Well, you were here For this.
An incredible thing. If you're listening to this later, you're still very close to the beginning of it, please tell me this was not worth something in your life.
freedomain.com forward slash donate.
I would really, really appreciate your help.
For reasons I cannot get into, it is very important that I maintain the finances of the show.
Very important that I maintain the finances of the show.
I really would appreciate it.
This. Support.
FreeDomain.com forward slash donate.
Somebody says, super grateful to be able to attend.
Yes, and to the lovely lady who had the tragic youth, again, massive sympathies.
If you want to do a chat about it, if it would help, we can mask your voice or whatever.
FreeDomain, sorry, call in at FreeDomain.com.
Call in at FreeDomain.com.
Thank you for the tip, Tim.
I think about all the tens of thousands of years where people only heard nonsense their whole lives.
Thanks, Steph. What do you think of the amount of money that's going into Cults and corruption and all of that sort of stuff.
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
All right. Thank you.
Thank you very much. Love you, Steph.
Have a great night. Thank you for this long live stream.
Very powerful. I'm on my third year of local subscription, plus donations, plus tips.
A truly invaluable show.
I feel like I'm really part of the intellectual 1%.
Fantastic show. Powerful topics and contributions from the listeners.
Thank you. And listen, thank you, everyone.
The fact that you provoke rants in me is a great glory, and I'm enormously grateful.
Steph, where do you think crypto is heading in the West?
Coinbase not being attacked by the deep state?
Well, of course, they want their CDBCs and all that kind of stuff.
This is special.
I'm very grateful to be here too.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, my friends.
Have yourself an absolutely wonderful evening.
I will talk to you Friday night and lots of love from up here.
I really, really appreciate this incredible life that you provide to me.
My gratitude really can't be measured and I like to think that the future will be equally grateful for everything that you have enabled me to achieve.
▲
Export Selection