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Jan. 27, 2023 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

55:32

STOP STARING AT WOMEN AT THE GYM! Freedoman Livestream

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	Hey, just drop it in for a little chat.
	Have you seen these videos?
	Hit me with a Y if you are a gym rat.
	Do you hit the gym? Do you go to the gym?
	Or have you spent significant time in the gym?
	You muscular beasts of glistening sexiness, I have no doubt that you are in fact gym rats.
	You could probably beat up gym rats.
	The gym hits you back. Yeah, so I've been to a lot of gyms in my life, all the way from like bare bones, move metal in a darkened basement, all the way to sort of high-end ritzy ashtanga yoga spandex fests.
	And there's this thing, this thing floating around.
	Now, hit me with a why if you've ever talked to someone at the gym, ever chatted up or introduced yourself to someone at the gym or...
	Well, you know, you can meet people at the gym.
	Oh, you have a home? Yeah, I have a home gym now too.
	But yeah, just hit me up if you chatted with people at the gym.
	I have. I met women at the gym and would, you know, would go for coffee or whatever.
	I met a woman at the gym.
	Met a woman at the gym. Ended up masking around.
	Seemed like a nice girl. And we met up for coffee and, you know, Nice chat, nice chat.
	Fifteen minutes into it, she mentions her husband.
	I'm like, okay, what's the husband thing?
	And she's like, well, you know, I do have a husband, but we're not really getting along, so, you know, I'm pretty much open to whatever, right?
	And I was like, well, that's...
	That's a bad deal for me.
	And she's like, what, you don't find me attractive?
	I'm like, no, no, no. I mean, you're attractive.
	I mean, obviously, I think you're smart and funny and you're pretty and all that, so I asked you out.
	But there's no way that this could ever work for me.
	And she said, well, what are you talking about?
	And I said, well... So one of two possibilities happens.
	Either we're not attracted to each other in a sort of fundamental or emotional or meaningful way, in which case it's really not that good an affair, or we really fall for each other, but you're married.
	So either it's a bad affair or I can't get what I want, which is a more permanent relationship.
	So I just said like... I guess I appreciate the sort of too-late honesty, but yeah, it just doesn't really work out.
	I actually went...
	I asked another girl out that I met, a really nice girl.
	I met her in yoga class, and it was a funny kind of thing, a funny kind of thing, because...
	I was going to go see a movie with some friends, and she said, oh, I'd love to come along, right?
	And I was like, sounds great, you know?
	I said, I don't mean to rush you, but, you know, we have to get there fairly quickly, so, you know, I can drive us over, but you've got to, if you don't mind changing.
	Anyway, like relatively quickly, and she took like half an hour to come out of the locker room I said, okay, well, we kind of missed the whole movie thing.
	But she didn't say, oh my gosh, I lost track of time or something like that.
	And yeah, it was just a very strange thing.
	A very strange thing to...
	Ask someone to hurry up, them agreed to hurry up, them being ridiculously slow, and not saying anything about it afterwards.
	So anyway, she would, you know, chat with me a little afterwards.
	Like, I went for coffee with her instead of going to see the movie, which was fine, but I was just like, no, I'm not.
	It's too weird for me. It's too bizarre for me.
	I didn't want to be the old Mr.
	Picky Seinfeld guy, but it just struck me as just too odd.
	I mean, what do you even say to someone like that?
	You can hurry, right? Yeah, I can hurry.
	And then you come out half an hour later without even mentioning that you didn't hurry.
	It's like, no, that's too unreal for me.
	And then there was, I don't know if you guys care at all about these kinds of gym stories, but I remember another time there were these two girls in this yoga class that I took, and they were just, you know, stunners.
	Like, you know, the people, normally you can look at someone and you can say, you know, pretty and, you know, but, you know, There's always some flaw you could find.
	So there were these two women, just like zero flaws, right?
	So, you know, I was an ambitious young singleton, so I took my shot, and one of the women was like, yeah, I really want to start a business, and I'm looking for investors, this, that, and the other.
	And literally, I had to...
	Smack myself back from offering her up money for investment or willing to explore business.
	It's like, come on, man. This is not a good basis for a business deal.
	But, you know, you have this, well, you know, she's going to get to know what a wonderful person I am because we're talking business together or whatever.
	And I was just like, no, no, no, don't do that.
	Don't do that. So anyway, yeah, I've chatted with women at the gym, and I mean, no particular relationships ever came out of it, but, you know, a nice couple of dates and no harm, no foul.
	But there's this thing now where women who are dressed basically in spandex, clingy underpants and sports bras, And, you know, usually with nice figures and all of that.
	And they're filming themselves at the gym.
	And then they complain that men are ogling them, that men are looking at them.
	Because, you know, a woman in a bikini working out of the gym, last thing she wants is for anyone to look at her, right?
	She probably doesn't even know who she is in the mirror.
	Like a vampire. And...
	It's a wild phenomenon.
	And they're shaming men for glancing at them.
	Even when they're doing pretty wild things.
	Like there was this woman who was doing a handstand.
	And you know, that's unusual.
	I would look at that. Whether it was a man or a woman.
	This other woman, she took off her tight top with basically a sports bra underneath.
	And yes, if I'm at the gym and I take off my pants, I take off my gym shorts, and underneath is some tiny little German sunburn, your butt cheeks, spandex monstrosity, a banana hammock.
	Yes, people are going to look because it's kind of an unusual behavior to see what looks like somebody undressing in public.
	So anyway, so this sort of shaming of men for looking, glancing at women who are letting it all hang out, this shaming of men for even...
	Talking to a woman, the shaming of men for approaching a woman, and some of it seemed pretty innocuous, like, are you done with this machine?
	It's kind of polite to ask, right, before you get into this, but...
	There was a lady twerking...
	Last week, yes. It's really tragic.
	So I'll tell you a tip here.
	This is going to be a pretty short one.
	I just figured it would be easier to just chat with you guys and record it and upload and all that.
	So right here on Locals, it's already up there.
	So look, here's a trick for understanding the world.
	Because I understand it's really easy to just say, oh, come on, you dress like that, you want attention, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
	Now, of course... We're not evolved to meet strangers.
	We're not evolved to date strangers.
	We're not evolved to need to put all of this stuff on display.
	For the simple reason that we grew up in small tribes.
	We grew up in local farming communities.
	We grew up in little villages. So...
	Whoever you would marry or whoever you'd be interested in, you'd know whether they were single, you'd know their family, you'd know their history, you would have grown up together, you'd know their personality.
	So this idea that we're just really, really well designed to go out and pick rando strangers to become our lifelong mates and the parents to our children, we're not good at that.
	We're not evolved for that. We're not designed for that.
	You know, it's R versus K selection, right?
	R selection is like rabbits just have a whole bunch of kids don't invest in the offspring.
	K selection is have fewer number of kids with higher quality partners really invest in your offspring.
	So it's wolves versus rabbits and so on.
	And so this sort of mating with strangers strategy is very R-selected, which tends to be less complicated, less sophisticated brain structures than animals.
	So first of all, we're not designed to find our own mates in the wild.
	That's not how human beings evolved even remotely.
	So that's sort of number one thing to understand.
	Number two, of course, is that a woman who has a really good figure and so on, she obviously is going to want to flaunt it to try and attract a high-quality, high-value mate, but she's going to want to chase away or keep away the men that she doesn't want to approach her.
	So this is a sort of shaming thing that is designed to keep the lower-quality men away by having them lose their confidence because they don't want to be perceived as pervy or creepy or whatever, right?
	So the men who have lower confidence will tend to stay away.
	Now, however, you get a bit of a wide net with this stuff because it's not just lower confidence men who stay away.
	The men who stay away are the people who have some sensitivity to somebody else's feelings.
	This is a clarion call for sociopaths to approach women because the sociopath won't feel any fear.
	He won't feel any anxiety.
	And he won't care that she doesn't want to be sexualized or don't approach women in the gym because it's creepy.
	He won't care about that.
	So, in many ways, sensitivity and low confidence are two sides of the same coin.
	It's really important to understand.
	This is for the women out there, women who'll be watching this.
	A guy who's sensitive...
	And a guy who's low confidence have very similar markings.
	They have very similar behaviors.
	So somebody who's, and by sensitive, I mean has empathy.
	I don't mean like he cries at Alan Alda movies or whatever, right?
	I just mean that he has empathy, right?
	So a guy who has empathy will be, you know, very reserved, very restrained, very diffident, and will give you a wide berth if he senses that you're uncomfortable and so on.
	Which is the same kind of behaviors as guys who are very low confidence, who don't think they can possibly get that kind of girl or whatever it is, right?
	Now the guys who have no empathy It's very close to high confidence.
	High confidence. So high confidence is, you know, I'm a high-value male.
	I'm going to approach the girl. If she says no, that's no biggie or whatever, right?
	But having no fear is very similar in its appearance to high confidence.
	And having low confidence is very similar to having empathy.
	Now, of course, the best-case scenario for a woman...
	It's a high-confidence man who has empathy.
	This is the ideal, right?
	Now, women, if they have to choose, they will choose high confidence over empathy, as is the Fifty Shades of Grey.
	Boy, you really saw literary world, well, not really literary world, lift...
	Oh, yeah. I went out with some friends recently for a trivia night at a restaurant bar.
	And one of the categories was sports.
	And my husband of the friend was like, dude, this is on you.
	Sports I'm useless at.
	I can play, but I don't know the stats or the numbers of the teams.
	Yeah. But then, so he got a really tough bunch of sports questions, and then the next category was literature.
	And I'm like, dude, I got this.
	And then the very first question was about Marvel Comics.
	And I was like, this is the end of the Roman Empire stuff, man.
	This is the end of civilization stuff.
	Literature, i.e. Marvel Comics.
	Because, you know, if it ain't got pictures, it ain't literature.
	So... Women will trade in sensitivity for confidence.
	So a woman wants a man who's confident, who has high self-esteem, so that he can go out and he can win resources by competing with other men.
	But he also wants the male to have empathy so that he will be a good companion, a good lover, a good father, and all of this.
	So she wants the high confidence and high empathy, or medium empathy.
	And if she has to sacrifice one, she'll sacrifice the empathy.
	Because kids can live without empathy from the father, but they can't live if the father can't provide resources, sort of evolutionarily speaking.
	So... If you want to sort of understand this phenomenon, that's sort of the preamble, right?
	So she wants to attract men, but she wants to push away the lower-status men.
	But by pushing away the lower-status men, she's also pushing away the men who have sensitivity.
	And then she would complain to the men who have sensitivity that the guy who pushed all the way through her don't-approach-women stuff...
	That he lacks empathy. He's kind of cold-hearted and selfish and all that.
	It's like, well, yeah, that's what you signum for, right?
	So that's not particularly interesting, original, or deep, but this part is.
	So, it's really tempting to just get exasperated, throw your hands, you know, that frog sitting on the log, ladies and gentlemen.
	It's with great regret that I wish to inform you women.
	No, let's not do that. So, here's the thing.
	When someone... Creates an emotion in you through purposeful action.
	Let's just confine it to negative emotions.
	This is one of the biggest life hacks you'll ever get, so please, please pay attention to this.
	Somebody creates negative emotion in you, it's because they're experiencing it unconsciously themselves, right?
	So you all know what passive aggression is, right?
	So passive aggression is somebody's annoyed or angry, but they can't say it directly.
	So what they do is they just kind of needle you and provoke you until you get angry and then they get to be the victim and so on, right?
	So that's passive aggression.
	So Clearly, these women are putting the men in the gym into an impossible situation.
	An impossible situation.
	Which is, you want to work out, as a male, your eyes will be drawn to attractive females.
	That's just the way it is.
	I'm going to be super attractive, but don't you dare look.
	Don't even look in my direction.
	As one of the women says, you know, there are mirrors everywhere.
	You can see guys easily checking you out.
	So I'm going to be as sexually attractive and bare-skinned as humanly possible, You are not allowed to look at me.
	Looking at me is creepy.
	Now that is putting men in an impossible situation.
	I mean, obviously you have to look at people in the gym.
	You have to look to see if they're using weights that you want to have.
	You have to look and see if they left a wet spot on the workout bench.
	You have to not walk into them.
	You have to work in with them if you are doing the same thing.
	Like dumbbell exercises or whatever it is, right?
	So maybe you have to work in with them or whatever, right?
	You may have to help spot them if they need help.
	So you need to look at other people in the gym, right?
	That's natural. I mean, try working out as if people were invisible.
	You just walk into them or drop weights on them or, you know, whatever, right?
	And of course, if a woman is treated as if she's not there, she's going to get offended.
	Like, oh my God, he just walked almost like I didn't exist.
	He didn't even acknowledge my existence.
	He just walked right into where I was.
	So you have to know that the women are there.
	You have to look at the women. The women have made themselves as appealing as possible, but you can't look at the women.
	Now, so we all recognize that that's a ridiculously impossible situation.
	Can't ignore them. They got lots of skin, well-formed skin, DNA, shaking in your face, can't look.
	But if you don't look at all, that's terrible.
	If you look, that's terrible.
	And it's basically like having an art gallery.
	You go into an art gallery and they get offended that you look at the pictures.
	It's like the pictures are kind of there for display.
	And how can the woman really say that she doesn't want to be looked at when she's filming a video for whatever, TikTok, for Instagram, for, you know, one of these women...
	Apparently has an OnlyFans page, but she just can't stand being sexualized.
	It's like, oh my God, right?
	So again, this is an impossible situation.
	Now, you can get mad at the impossible situation.
	That's kind of what it's designed for.
	But what you really need to do, again, big life hack incoming.
	Get ready for this one. It's really important.
	What you really need to do is say, okay, if someone's putting me in an impossible situation, it's because that person feels that she's in an impossible situation.
	But it's not consciously aware of it.
	So, misery loves company.
	If you've been around anxious people, they'll tend to make you anxious.
	If you've been around depressed people, they'll tend to pull you down.
	If you're around energetic people, you get significant energy.
	If you're around people who are really scared all the time, they will infect you with a kind of fear and anxiety, right?
	So personalities are contagious.
	And the less processed the emotions are, the more contagious they are.
	Because if you've processed your emotions and you feel them consciously, you don't just spray them onto other people through unconscious projection mechanisms.
	So if you feel, and it's right to feel in this context, if you feel that you are in an impossible situation, it's because the other person, in this case these women, They feel that they're in an impossible situation.
	They're not conscious of it.
	And unconscious conflicts we replicate in others.
	Unconscious conflicts we replicate in others.
	So if you have someone who really makes you feel angry, it's because that person is very angry and they're unconscious of it.
	So if you are in an emotional state because of somebody else's actions, it's easy to just get mad at that person.
	I understand that. But the real life hack is to say, if you want to understand this phenomenon, these women are putting men in impossible situations.
	Why? Because they feel in an impossible situation.
	The women themselves feel that they're in an impossible situation.
	They can't talk about it.
	They're not conscious of it.
	So they reproduce it in others.
	All strong negative emotions come from unprocessed conflicts in other people.
	I'm sure you could think of exceptions, but give me the 100% for now.
	So, if you feel strongly around someone, frustrated, angry, scared, nervous, depressed, or energized or whatever, but we don't really worry about the positive emotions, right?
	But if you feel very strongly around someone, the first place to look is what's going on in their unconscious that is transmitting to you.
	It's a way of trying to get empathy.
	If I feel like I'm in an impossible situation, Then if I recreate that impossible situation in other people, they will understand how I feel.
	Do you see where I'm going with this?
	It's a weird, strange, subterranean, convoluted cry for empathy from others, right?
	Somebody just sent a picture of themselves at the gym.
	Excellent. Good. All right.
	So here's the question, right?
	You will understand so much about life if you get this principle.
	You will understand so much about life if you get this principle.
	People who de-platform others, people who call for the de-platforming of others, have been silenced in their own home and de-platformed in their own families and not allowed to speak the truth in their own families.
	Or they're part of some social group or religious group or whatever that doesn't allow any truth to be told.
	So, here we go.
	What is the impossible situation that these women are experiencing that's unconscious that they're reproducing in the men around them?
	Okay. Are they just trolls?
	That's too easy, too simple.
	So here's the answer. There are two poles of a woman's needs.
	One is a stripper pole. There are two poles of women's needs.
	Love, attention.
	Love, attention.
	Love, attention. Women love, attention.
	And there's nothing wrong with that.
	Perfectly valid, right? So, if you're a woman, you wish to attract a high-value male.
	You want to be loved for who you are.
	We all want to be loved for who we are.
	You want to be loved for who you are.
	How do you attract that high-value male?
	Well, of course, in the past it would be you were charitable, you were pious, you were religious, you did wonderful works in the community, you were a moral person, you were well-known for your character, you were artistic, you knew how to play the harpsichord, you knew literature, you were a good writer of haikus.
	You would show all of your qualities and those qualities would be available to the man because he would grow up with you, he would know you, or it would be something like...
	Maybe the family would know you and so you wouldn't be out there just trying to grab some rando off the street to be the love of your life.
	So the woman needs to attract a man because she wants to be loved for who she is, deep down.
	Because if she's loved for her looks, that love will fade when she needs it the most.
	Because, you know, post-30, post-35, it's pretty tough for a woman to look great.
	And post-40, 50, it's very, very hard.
	I mean, there's Elizabeth Hurley and whatever Camaro backing buff job she gets on a regular basis, or I guess Jamie Lee Curtis kind of hit the wall pretty hard recently.
	But... It's tough.
	So if you are with a woman for her looks, those looks are going to fade, and the fertility that the looks are designed to serve, right, to having babies, the babies walk all over the woman's beauty and skin elasticity, and you get those stretch marks on the belly.
	And again, there's things you can do, but for the most part...
	As the woman ages, the man, if he's just there for the looks, the man will trade her in for a younger model and she will face her old age, which is decades for most women, alone, right?
	So she wants to be loved for who she is so that the man doesn't notice her aging as much because he's appreciating even more the qualities of her character, the qualities of character that she brings to the table because she is a good, sensible, virtuous, loyal, loving woman, right? So, she wants to be loved for who she is, but you can't display virtues in passing.
	You've got to know someone in order to appreciate their virtues.
	You can't just see someone at the gym and know whether they're a good or bad person.
	So because the woman is on this conveyor belt of other women going by, she wants to be loved for who she is, which means her virtues, her qualities of character and so on, but she can't get attention for those things, in particular when other women are showing skin.
	Because we're males.
	We're visual creatures. We appreciate a woman's virtues, but her eyes are drawn to female form, to female beauty, to female athleticism or fitness or whatever your particular thing is.
	So, what is the impossible situation that the woman is in?
	The impossible situation that these women are in is that they want to be loved for who they are, but they won't get any attention if they don't show skin.
	They want to be loved for who they are, But they can't ever get that love unless they're perceived to be sexy and attractive.
	But the problem is, if a man is attracted to them by them being sexy and attractive and showing a lot of skin, she is not being loved for who she is.
	She's been loved for how she looks.
	Her soul, so to speak, is not being loved.
	Her skin is being desired.
	Her flesh is being desired.
	The meat of her body is being desired, not the qualities of her mind, heart and soul.
	So she wants to be loved for who she is.
	She can't get attention without showing skin.
	But when she shows skin, she can never be loved for who she is.
	What a mind frack that is for women, right?
	What a mind frack that is for women.
	Let me run this through. I understand, right?
	I understand where these videos are coming from and why everyone's circling this kind of stuff.
	And nobody's going to give you this but me, come on.
	You're never going to see this analysis anywhere else.
	But it's the truth, man.
	It's the right of the root of things.
	She's creating an impossible situation in men because she is experiencing an impossible situation that remains unconscious for her.
	It remains in the subconscious.
	I want to be loved for who I am.
	The only way I can be loved for who I am is getting attention.
	The only way of getting attention is showing skin, but showing skin means I will never be loved for who I am.
	And it is a race to the bottom.
	It used to be that women were discouraged from showing skin because everybody was concerned about this race to the bottom.
	Because if you are a virtuous woman...
	And you're working out in baggy clothes, which are comfortable.
	You're working out in baggy clothes, and next to you is a woman showing a lot of skin.
	Men will be drawn to the woman showing a lot of skin.
	And then you'll never get the love of your life, you'll never be taken care of, you'll never be a mother, you'll never be somebody's wife, because all the men are going to go to the women showing skin.
	So then you say, oh, I don't want to, but there's no other way to get attention, so now I have to show skin.
	But showing skin means I get attention, but I never get love, right?
	Attention and love. Now, you have to get attention in order to get love.
	But if you aim to get attention, you'll never get love.
	But if you don't aim to get attention, you'll never get the attention that could lead to the love.
	I want to be loved for who I am, not my body, but I can't get any male attention without showing my body.
	That is a mind frack. And for men, it may be wealth, right?
	Like, I can only get a woman's interest if I show income and wealth.
	But if I show income and wealth, then the woman is only going to care about me because of the income and wealth and not for me myself.
	myself.
	And then if I ever lose my wealth or something happens to it or whatever, then she's going to leave me and all that.
	Right?
	So this, you need to understand, you need to work this analysis, this kind of analysis deep into your bone marrow.
	Whatever people are, whatever feelings people are instilling in you are their own unconscious conflicts.
	A woman who puts you in an impossible situation is herself feeling in an impossible situation, right?
	So I had a call with a guy recently who said he was a sex addict.
	Turned out by being a sex addict, he just wanted to have daily sex with his wife, which certainly doesn't seem to me like an addiction at all.
	I've seen his wife.
	No, I'm kidding.
	So the typical impossible situation for a man in marriage is the woman is angry, the woman is upset, the woman is distant, the woman won't have sex with you, but you can't have an affair and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?
	So, right? That's an impossible situation.
	Now, why is she creating an impossible situation in her husband?
	Because she feels in an impossible situation in her life.
	Now, you can either get all mad at the impossible situation and blast the people.
	I see a lot of people doing this online.
	Oh, these women are so hypocritical.
	I watched a little Matt Walsh video about this, and I like Matt.
	He's a manly beard.
	But it's just not a very deep analysis, not a very deep or knowledgeable analysis.
	And, you know, he's a social critic, and he's not an in-depth philosopher, so I guess we'll both stay in our lanes.
	But... This is how you understand people.
	Whatever they're bringing up in you is what they have not brought up in themselves.
	And modern life sucks for women.
	No single person designs the entire culture, right?
	Modern life sucks for women.
	Women need to get attention in order to get love.
	But the more they focus on getting attention, the less likely they are to get love.
	It's a torture for women.
	This is why women are so progressively unhappy, why antidepressant use is skyrocketing, why there are Karens out there who don't feel loved and take all that bitterness out on other people.
	The whole Karen phenomenon is...
	I'm going to make people feel scared and hostile.
	Why? Because I'm scared and hostile.
	And I can't talk about it.
	I can't communicate it. I can't deal with it.
	I won't go to therapy for it. So I'll just go around evoking fear and hostility in other people until I meet that one person who understands what's going on and treats me with sympathy.
	So, please understand, this is a huge life hack.
	This will change your life if you understand this.
	Now, this doesn't mean you've got to be nice to everyone, a friendly devon, but you've got to understand where they're coming from.
	Why do they do what they do?
	Mostly it's because they have unconscious conflicts, they can't deal with them, they don't even know they exist, they just go around like machines, like NPCs, recreating their conflicts in other people.
	Now, come on, tell me that ain't worth a tip or two.
	Come on! Don't make me shake my ass at you, because I've got a donkey right here.
	It's got to be worth a tip or two.
	All right. Somebody says, this is really insightful and explains so much that I've been thinking about lately.
	Yes. Hi, Steph.
	Why do you think a woman dating a man for several months will wear revealing clothing when going out on a date rather than modest clothing?
	Is it incorrect for a man to have preferences regarding this?
	Well... If a woman is dating a man for several months, she should be concerned about attracting him, not strangers.
	Now, if she's wearing clothes that will attract strangers and not him, then she's not committed to the relationship and she's still got one foot in the dating pool, at least.
	All right, let's see here.
	Let's see here.
	Women have turned the gym into the club.
	Well, yeah, because of course at a nightclub as well, women are in a horrible situation.
	It's a no-win situation. The only way they're going to get attention is by dressing up, lots of makeup, showing skin.
	Now, showing skin doesn't necessarily mean bare midriff or anything.
	It just means accentuating their figure in significant ways, right?
	So, in a club, the woman needs to get asked, she needs to get male attention.
	She wants to be loved for who she is, but the only way she can get male attention is showing off her figure, which means that she'll never be loved for who she is.
	The woman's mind frack about too much showing skin and attracting the wrong guy is spot on.
	One of my personal mottos is, don't make eye contact with the wildlife.
	Yeah. I mean, so people say to this woman, this one of the women with the OnlyFans, she says, oh, I hate being sexualized.
	And it's like, well, she's got an OnlyFans, which I assume is fairly sexual in nature.
	And people are like, well, that's so hypocritical.
	It's like, yes.
	Yes. And they're responding to some male hypocrisy.
	And the male hypocrisy, let's look directly in the mirror, boys.
	Let's look directly in the mirror. Right?
	What's the male hypocrisy in modern dating rituals?
	Right? The male hypocrisy in modern dating rituals is the following.
	You say to a woman, I really like you, when the truth is, you're just turned on by her.
	Right? Do you like her qualities of character, her honesty, her integrity, her virtue, her loyalty, her ethics?
	No. She's hot.
	She's got all the right curves in all the right places.
	Clear eyes, even features lustrous hair, and she's hot.
	So, it's a lie if you're attracted to a woman primarily, or almost exclusively, by her looks.
	And then you say, I like you.
	You're lying. Now, if you say, you're okay, but your body is smoking.
	Or, you're okay, but you're really pretty.
	You're okay, but you're great arm candy.
	But you as a person, you know, nothing particularly standout-ish, but...
	I remember being at a business conference years ago and meeting a woman who was just gorgeous.
	And so I'm chatting her up and we end up going for a walk after dinner.
	I was like, oh man, I hope I find something interesting.
	I really hope I find something interesting in her personality.
	Boy, because she is really, really hot.
	And we're out for a walk together and all that.
	And I was like, but I couldn't.
	I couldn't find anything. I was like chatting, just totally basic opinions, nothing there.
	She was smart, but, you know, just...
	We just didn't have anything in common, and I didn't have any interest in her interests, and I doubt she had any interest in mine.
	And so, you know, I took her back, and, you know, hey, thanks for a great walk and all of that, and she's like, well, we're going to exchange numbers?
	And I'm like, you know, come on, that's not really much chemistry here, so that's the only way I could really put it, right?
	But I wasn't going to sit there and say, oh, yes, you're wonderful, you're very interesting, let's go on another date, because the only thing that was attractive about her was how attractive she was, not anything to do with her personality.
	It wasn't like a bad person, just like...
	So, we men...
	Oh, women are hypocritical and so on.
	Okay, well, how many times?
	Hit me with a why. Dudes, hit me with a why.
	If you've dated a woman and continue to date her, mostly for her looks.
	Mostly for her looks. Mostly...
	And it may not just be just getting into bed with her.
	It could be any number of things. Hit me with a why.
	I have. I have mostly dated a woman for her looks.
	Absolutely. Absolutely. When I was in my teens, I dated a girl.
	Just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
	And she would occasionally rip off something really smart in her verbal dynamics, but it was a bit of an oasis with a lot of desert in between, but it was just looks.
	And I wasn't honest about that.
	I didn't even know back then how to be honest about that, so...
	Hi, Steph. I was on the train today and I saw an advert that said that staring at someone with sexual intent can be a form of sexual harassment.
	It should be reported to the police.
	Why do you think people are unable to handle the stares of others to the point that an advert like this is being shown on public transport?
	Because women are afraid.
	Women are afraid.
	So I want you to imagine walking through the worst section of town holding a clear plastic bag full of money.
	And you have to do this every day.
	Are you going to feel pretty jumpy?
	Yes, you are. So women are scared.
	Women have sexual access that men treasure and lust for, and some men out there are not nice about it at all, and they're nervous.
	And this used to be solved with marriage and monogamy and all this kind of stuff, but that doesn't really happen anymore.
	So women, they get a lot of attention, but that attention is scary.
	So they have a very ambivalent relationship to attention.
	They want attention, of course, because attention might lead to true love.
	But attention is also scary because it might draw guys who are dangerous.
	So it's really, really tough.
	And we solved this all in the past, but that's all in the past.
	All right. Let's see here.
	I want to get you new messages.
	I feel bad, I haven't tipped more.
	I honestly want to, but I have hit a rough patch in life for a bit.
	I want you to know that once I'm on top again, I will reimburse you.
	Thanks for everything, Steph, and all your work.
	I look up to you and the way you were chugging along, hoping you're holding up over there on the other side.
	I think I'm doing more than chugging along, but listen, here's the thing, man.
	If you are hitting a rough patch financially, we've all been there.
	We have all been there, and I hugely sympathize.
	If you are hitting a rough patch, if you're in a bit of a trough financially, you know, we're in, we're out of the money.
	I want you to enjoy the show.
	I don't want you to tip me one thin dime, one single penny.
	And I don't want you to feel the slightest shred of any negative emotion for rapidly consuming all of my content without paying me a penny.
	I desperately, desperately want that.
	I don't want you to feel bad.
	I don't want you to feel guilty.
	I don't want you to feel any iota of negative emotion whatsoever.
	If you've hit a rough patch financially, I want you to enjoy the show.
	I want you to enjoy philosophy.
	And I want you to walk tall and proud and happy and not feel anything negative in any way, shape, or form whatsoever.
	Because you've hit a rough patch.
	You know, when I was a broadcast student, I didn't donate either, right?
	I mean, so honestly, enjoy the show.
	Enjoy the show. Yeah, when you get some money together, sure, feel free to and all of that, but please, please don't feel at all bad in any way, shape, or form for consuming this show.
	If you've hit a rough patch financially, I want you to enjoy the show.
	I don't want you to feel in any way negative, but I really do appreciate you saying that.
	It's very kind. It's very kind.
	No, the only woman I've ever dated is my wife.
	Well, good for you, man. Good for you.
	So yes, every single man here, every single man has dated a woman just for her looks.
	Now, hit me with a why.
	If you dated a woman just for her looks and you told her or indicated to her that you liked her for who she was rather than for how she looked, hit me with a why.
	Did you do that? Yes.
	Yes, I did as well.
	I did as well. Now, I wasn't raised well and I have got excuses, I think, as we all do.
	But, you know, you've got to own what you did when you did it, right?
	Clear bag. What's the prank?
	The bank. Clear bag of money.
	You've got a clear bag of money, you're going through the worst neighborhood in your town, right?
	So, yes. How do you know whether someone is with you for your looks versus personality?
	Well, that's tough. I mean, the way that we used to do that was no sex before marriage.
	So if there's no possibility of sexual access before marriage, you have to be with someone because you like them, because you're not there for the sex, because you don't get the sex without a lifelong commitment to marry them.
	So that's how you do.
	So for women, you can do whatever you want, obviously.
	My particular suggestion, or what I think is a reasonably good plan, is know, No sex.
	No sex. No sex.
	For at least a couple of months.
	You date, no sex for at least a couple of months.
	Maybe longer, but definitely not shorter, in my humble opinion.
	It's just my rule of thumb.
	No, just don't have sex.
	Because if you're not offering sex, then the guy's got to be there because he likes you.
	And if you dress modestly, they're less likely to be with you for your looks.
	Yes, but it's tough to get the attention.
	That's the problem. That's the problem, right?
	Look, it's the same thing in the software industry, right?
	If you tell the truth about your software, you will often lose out business to people who lie about their software, and maybe even to the point where you go out of business.
	So what do you do? If everyone's, there's a race in the software, and maybe in other areas in business, it's a race to the bottom.
	It's a race to the bottom. A friend of mine worked for a company where they said it's a three to six month implementation.
	He joined the company. He went to go talk to the head of technology and the guy was like, yeah, I've told the salesman a million times it's at least 18 months.
	What do you do? Everyone else is saying three to six month implementation.
	If you say 18 months, you'll lose out to the guys.
	Now, once you sign the contract, this, that and the other, you can say, oh, there's this delay, this, there, whatever, right?
	So, yeah, it's a mess.
	It's a mess in the business world.
	It's a mess in the business world.
	So yeah, if someone is with you for looks, you'll find out because they want to have sex.
	And they're there for the sex, the imminent sex and so on, right?
	Like I remember, it was a generational thing, talking to a guy when I used to be in the software industry who said, oh yeah, if there's no sex by the third date, I just move on.
	And I was like, what now?
	No sex by the third date?
	That's the deal? That's what's going on these days?
	No sex before the third date?
	Hope you got a lot of investments in antibiotics companies.
	Right. I have a no sex before marriage policy now.
	I realize that having sex before the commitment was itself a confirmation that I did not love or respect her enough to marry.
	Fellas, if she isn't good enough to marry, she isn't good enough to sh-boink.
	I haven't made that sound in a while.
	Sh-boink. Yeah, why buy the calf?
	You get the milk for free. Yes.
	But the thing is, too, because it's devilish, because it's devilish, You think you're getting something when you're losing everything.
	Because if you say, I want to have sex early in a relationship, then you'll put up with lower quality personalities in order to get sexual access, which can be very dangerous and tends to drive higher quality personalities out of your life.
	So, yeah, you get something and then you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
	I was making out with my girlfriend in the car last weekend.
	I swear I could see paradise by the dashboard light.
	Yeah, alright. So yeah, I just wanted to mention that.
	If you have any other quick questions, I'm happy to hear, but I just wanted to get in with that particular analysis about someone's making you feel something, and the stronger you feel, especially if it's a negative emotion, the stronger you feel, the more they're projecting unconscious conflicts onto you.
	What do you think about a no-kissing before marriage policy?
	I don't think that's quite as important.
	I think you want to find out how sensitive, if someone's a real teeth masher or lip grinder, you kind of want to know if somebody has some sort of sensitivity to what you prefer in terms of kissing.
	That may be an indication of what happens in the bedroom, but I don't know about a no kissing before marriage.
	That would seem a little Amish.
	Let's see here. How much intimacy should be between a couple if they aren't having sex?
	Hugs might lead to kisses, etc.
	How do you draw the line?
	Well, you draw the line at erogenous zone touching, right?
	Tits, butts, and genitals, right?
	What are your thoughts on the passport bros phenomenon and men fleeing North America to find hope for a relationship?
	I don't know. I mean, I think it's a confession that they just don't move in the circles where they're equality people.
	Look, I know a lot of couples happily married.
	They stayed married. Did you know that divorce rates at the moment are at a 40-year low?
	Divorce rates are at a 40-year low.
	And everyone's like, well, it's way too risky to get married.
	Divorce rates are at a 40-year low.
	So, if you can't find quality people in your own environment, I'm not sure you're going to find them in Thailand either, right?
	So, alright.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	They're at a 40-year loan. Did you hear this in the Manosphere?
	No, no you don't.
	Do you think the MGTOW movement is only full of bitter men or is there more to it?
	No, no, no. Just throw in bitter labels that are bitter or whatever.
	Okay, well, maybe they are bitter, but you've got to ask why.
	What's going on, right? The MGTOW movement, I think, is largely predicated on the fact that society completely screws men over, it's not acknowledged, and men are going on strike.
	I write about this in my new novel called The Present, which is my encapsulation of everything that is causing society to fail and what happens as a result of all of these things, which is not pretty socially.
	So you can get that for free at the moment, for free, at freedomain.locals.com.
	Well, of course, you're watching this on Locals, so you kind of know the thing.
	There's a lot to the MGTOW movement.
	I've talked about it before, but I think there's a lot of externalization and a lot of blame, right?
	So women are as men have chosen them to be.
	Men are as women have chosen them to be.
	Because if men aren't what women wanted, they wouldn't have bred with them and those characteristics wouldn't have been amplified.
	So people get mad at women.
	It's like, well, women in general, women are the results of our ancestors' choices about what is attractive in women.
	And men are... So women who get mad at men, it's like, well, men are the...
	Even more so for men, right?
	Women getting mad at men is even sillier because women generally had much more choice when it came to reproduction than men did.
	But no, oh, female nature is this bad, it's bad.
	It's like, no, no, no, that's just... All of our ancestors chose particular characteristics which then got reinforced in the evolutionary system.
	So women are as men chose them to be.
	They are a reflection of male choices and men are a reflection of female choices.
	So this idea that we can get mad at each other I find completely bizarre.
	Will you read your new novel?
	Will you order your book? Yes, I will.
	I loved Almost and The Future.
	Boy, you should try justpoornovel.com.
	That's one of my favorites. Is there a difference between MGTOW and the Manosphere?
	Yeah, so the Manosphere is just men supporting men and men providing the kind of emotional support and spiritual nutrition that society should provide but doesn't actively withholds from the male slave army that keeps fiat currency going.
	So... The manosphere is just men supporting men.
	MGTOW is men who have eschewed relationships with women, certainly marital relations.
	There's monk mode, which is no dating at all.
	There's a little bit of dating. Dating, girlfriends not living together, dating but not getting common law.
	But it's avoiding getting the state in.
	I've heard YouTube has a policy where they check and scrub accounts if they have questionable content at 100,000 subs.
	Have you heard of this?
	I don't know. Will you be returning to YouTube in any form?
	And if not, why not? What is your strategy to get yourself out there?
	Personally, it would be cool to see you on TikTok.
	No, I'm not on TikTok.
	Thank you. I don't think I would last on TikTok more than 12 minutes.
	You know, once you do, I did a documentary on the evils of communist China called Hong Kong Fight for Freedom.
	You can see it at freedomain.com slash documentaries.
	No, they wouldn't let me on there.
	No, I got banned from YouTube.
	I got banned from YouTube. I would have had millions of subscribers.
	I was getting 10,000 new subscribers every month.
	Then they throttled the hell out of me.
	They kept me from hitting a million subs because then they'd have to give me another plaque.
	And then, completely against their own terms and policies, I was just completely banned, with no strikes, no possibility of appeal, no process, just erased.
	Which was tough, because also there were fantastic comments and debates on there.
	So, no, I have no intention of getting back on YouTube in any way, shape, or form.
	What is my strategy to get yourself out there?
	The fuck would I want to be out there?
	Have you seen what it's like out there?
	I don't want to be out there.
	I like being in here. My goal here is to help the future as much as possible and the way that you help the future as much as possible is to talk as deeply about events in the present so that you get universals that aid the future.
	We're not making out of this cycle of history.
	Like, there's just no way.
	Words are not going to save this cycle of history.
	That's the whole point of censorship, is that people want the chaos and the collapse, censor people who could avoid it.
	And I could really help avoid it.
	As you probably know, I was...
	I was kicked off YouTube because, I don't know about the because, but it seemed pretty coincidental, with the George Floyd debacle.
	Remember the summer of riots, summer 2020?
	A dozen people killed, hundreds of billions of dollars worth of damage, thousands of people injured, massive riots, and neighborhoods burnt down, and huge numbers of blacks injured and also killed.
	Just monsters and businesses destroyed.
	So I was always trying to turn the heat down on these racial provocations because it's really destructive, in particular for the black community, who has it tough enough in many ways already.
	So I pushed back on Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.
	I pushed back on Mike Brown.
	I pushed back on just a whole number of different people.
	And I think with some success, certainly Trayvon Martin got millions and millions of views and I think really helped to diffuse some of this Because I'm very much a moderate, I think we should reason about things, and I would rather entire cities, particularly poor black neighborhoods, I would rather they not burn to the ground.
	I have a great deal of care and concern for the black community, who does again have it pretty rough being on the bottom end of the welfare state and have terrible schools and just family shredding policies.
	It's just, it's appalling, absolutely appalling.
	I had recorded a video where I interviewed and basically they did the talking.
	It was a white cop and a black cop talking about what was going on with George Floyd.
	This excited delirium that sometimes people, they just, they get more and more excited.
	Their heart fails when they get arrested.
	And it was a very good, very powerful conversation that was really, I mean, aimed at the truth, of course, but aimed at de-escalating the rhetoric that was going to lead to these riots and these deaths.
	And, you know... Violence, non-aggression principle, rioting and deaths, particularly when it hits poor and vulnerable communities in society, it's abhorrent and it's wretched.
	And I don't know anybody with any soul who could have provoked these kinds of things, as I guess the mainstream media constantly did.
	So I had an interview with a white cop and a black cop about the George Floyd situation.
	It was a very powerful interview.
	And it was up there.
	It was ready to go. My channel vanished.
	Just gone.
	So, in my view, some of the resulting blood in the streets is on the hands of the censors, in my opinion.
	Why I would want to go back to such an organization would be incomprehensible to me.
	All right. Oh, thanks for sharing the editing video.
	Very interesting to see your process.
	Yeah, so if you're a subscriber at freedomain.locals.com, I'm putting out my editing process for the book.
	How I work through the text, how I comb through the language, how I shape it and make it better and leaner and all of that.
	I'm glad that you find it enjoyable.
	I think it is very interesting.
	I love the Make Enough stuff myself.
	Making of songs, making of movies and so on.
	The YouTube ban was devastating, especially regarding the History Truth About videos.
	No, I don't think it was devastating.
	Videos are all there. You can find them.
	Just FDRpodcast.com.
	Do a search. Right below is where the videos are mirrored.
	They're all there. I remember you disappearing from my YouTube subscribe list and having to resubscribe numerous times.
	Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
	All right. Let me just jump down here and make sure I get all the last things.
	What is the biggest threat for Bitcoin?
	What is the most likely reason it wouldn't make it mainstream?
	Bitcoin is designed to not have a centralized biggest threat.
	I mean, yeah, they can ban it, they can do all these kinds of things, right?
	I've only known about free domain since cancellation.
	I think Steph is right about the 500-year goal.
	Can't kill ideas. Yes.
	It was the universe's way of saying stop doing current events and build something from the future because current events are beyond the realm of reason.
	They are beyond the realm of language.
	The current trajectory is beyond the realm of language to solve.
	It's going to be solved in some other way which I don't want to talk about because it's got nothing to do with me.
	All right. Have yourselves a wonderful evening.
	When Steph was out there, before cancellation, it was an exciting time.
	Yes, I would agree with that for sure.
	It was an exciting time. And look, the important thing is if...
	So first of all, I didn't want to do things that were just dumb to get cancelled, right?
	I was going to be like, if they're going to cancel me, if they're going to deplatform me, then it has to be on their shoes.
	the blood has to be on their hands, not mine.
	I'm not gonna sit there and look, "Oh, I should do it.
	"Oh, what a silly thing it was to do that." And like, no, no, no.
	So, I wanted to quit the field or be kicked off the field without an unforced error.
	I don't know if you know this in tennis or whatever, unforced error is, you know, you just do a double fault serve or a pretty easy shot, An unforced error. So I don't think I made any unforced errors.
	Yeah, I took on topics that were tough, but that was essential because those topics that I took on that were tough are going to be proven to be completely right and I'm going to be validated in the future, probably long after I'm dead.
	But I absolutely know that for a fact.
	Because all of the heroes that I know were validated a long time after their major works.
	So... What I would say is that it's important to be ended with honor.
	To be ended with honor.
	To be... To not shoot yourself in the foot, but to have, in a sense, an honorable execution.
	And that was really important to me.
	I was fairly sure it was coming, obviously, but I wasn't going to give them an excuse.
	I wasn't going to give them an excuse.
	All right. Thank you so much.
	Have a wonderful evening.
	Just wanted to drop by. I guess it turned into a little...
	A little longer than I expected, but always a great pleasure to chat with you guys.
	Thank you so much for your support. It really does mean the world to me.
	If you want to help out, I'd really appreciate it.
	Freedomain.locals.com.
	If you don't want to do that, you can just support me at freedomain.com slash donate.
	All right. Lots of love, everyone.
	Take care. Have yourself a wonderful evening.
	I will talk to you soon.

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