Dec. 20, 2022 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
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Avatar 2 Review! Izzy and Stef
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Okay, so...
Intro. Intro. Okay, welcome back to the channel.
It's not Freedom Inn Radio, it's just Freedom Inn, right?
Just Freedom Inn. Welcome to the last five years, yes.
Sorry. We're doing a review of the new movie that was released.
It's a sequel to the first movie in that series called Avatar.
And it's like Way of the Water or something like that.
We're also doing a preview of something else.
I'm concerned. I did not wear.
A preview of the Day of Glory tomorrow.
Yeah. Which is what?
My birthday. Oh, that's right!
Okay, let me tell you, he's more hyped about this than I am.
I think it's a birthday time!
It's very exciting! So, yeah, I think it's going to be cool.
I'm really looking forward to it. I just remember last birthday, I preempted every single surprise.
Like, I remember we were upstairs and I'm like, oh, that's the cake.
And Mom's like, you weren't supposed to see that.
I'm like, oh, that's the bromeliad.
It's a type of plant. And I'm like, she's like, you weren't supposed to see that either.
I'm like, oh, they're the Skittles. Way too much.
Way too much preempting.
Way too much preempting going on. So, anyway, happy birthday in advance, and I will be jumping up at 6 o'clock in the morning on your bed to say, birthday, birthday, birthday, birthday!
I'm not surprised. Until?
Someone punches you. That's right.
Until there's great, great violations of the NAP. Of course.
And your nap, too. Oh!
Oh! All right. So we went to go and see this movie.
Now, what were your – you liked the first one.
I thought it was the first one was kind of fun.
Yeah, when I was younger. I think we watched it when I was nine.
But I thought it was pretty cool because, like, the dragons and, like, the trees and stuff.
I'm like, yeah, it's pretty neat. I knew it was kind of, like, anti, like – I don't know, like, kind of global warming-ish.
Not exactly that, but they were saying, like, oh, Earth is falling apart.
And the worship of the primitive and all that kind of stuff.
But it was fun. Aside from that stuff, it was a cool movie.
It was a cool movie. Now, then we went to go and see the second one.
And would you say that overall movies are getting either A... Worse.
I was going to say, yeah. So I don't think movies are really getting better.
Let's look at the last couple movies.
Frozen 2, Maleficent, Jurassic Park, this thing.
Yeah, they're getting worse.
Aside from Top Gun.
I wasn't a huge fan of Top Gun because I feel like that's more targeted at guys, but it wasn't a bad movie, that's for sure.
So, for this, we knew it was going to be long, and that was my major concern.
It was three hours.
There's a song by a band called Simple Minds.
No, no. She was so beautiful.
But oh, so boring.
Exactly. I'm wondering what am I doing here?
So, first of all, it was long.
Now, secondly, I'm not sure what I drank before we went to go and see the movie, but apparently it was quite a lot.
Because the movie, and I had the same thing when I watched the movie Titanic in the theater, which is I had a big bucket of pop, I drank it, and I had to pee.
Right. Now, when you are watching a movie about the desert, that's okay.
But when you're watching a movie where liquid is sloshing back and forth continually and you have to pee, it's a bad combo.
Yes. And so, anyway, I had to take a short break.
So the movie as a whole, it started off, and because it's been so long since the last one and we haven't seen it since, I really, really didn't know what was going on.
I don't think it was just that, because I liked the movie a lot back then, and I remember I was so excited.
I was like, man, we're going to have to wait two years for it to come out.
Yeah, yeah. It was like three or four years.
A little more than two. Yeah, a little more than two.
Yeah, I watched it 2019 is when the first one came out, I think.
So I do vaguely remember the first one, especially towards the end, so I had an idea of what was going on.
But it was still, I found a very confusing beginning, even though I had a pretty good idea of what was going on.
Like, I could understand, like, yeah, this could have been done a lot better.
Yeah, so when you've been, I don't know how long it's been since the first Avatar, but a long time.
Three, four years. No, no, that's since we saw it.
It was in the theaters before then.
I remember reviewing it years and years ago.
It was 2019 when I watched it.
Yes, but it had been out a long time before that.
Oh, okay. So if you're going to take years and years and years between movies, then you've got to do more recap.
I didn't know what was going on.
There's some kid. He grew up.
He had dreadlocks. He was like Justin Bieber.
That's as far as I could get with that stuff.
His name was like Spider or something. Spider, that's right.
We refer to him as Justin Bieber. Yes, we did.
The dreadlocks. The dreadlocks.
And the constant shirtlessness.
Of course. Let's talk a little bit about some of the pluses of the movie, just so we can get that out of the way.
Yeah. The short five minutes.
The pluses of the movie, I mean, look, the technology was pretty cool.
Yeah, like the CGI was pretty awesome.
The eye candy was wild.
They really, I mean, swimming and water droplets and whales with two eyes.
Oh, there's going to be spoilers in here, by the way, just in case.
Yeah, I think that's pretty clear. I mean, look, if you're watching a movie review and you're expecting to not have spoilers, then something's gone wrong with your life.
No, you know what it is? It's because there used to be movie reviews on TV and in newspapers and they couldn't give spoilers.
Right. But anyway, so I just have to sort of mention that.
So if you're old and you used to read the newspaper, and I'm kidding.
Yeah. Look, more liquid.
Back in my day, they're going to be like, you had home buttons when you grew up.
Oh, yes. The addiction to the home button.
I love home buttons. Screenshot addict. Yeah.
So I thought that the visuals were really – the level of imagination.
Like every single fish underwater had to have a design team behind it and a CGI team.
Like the amount of like what kind of coral are you going to have?
How far down is the light going to go?
The sunlight is going to go. And what are the differences between the blue people and the cyan people?
Yeah. And, like, they really did a huge amount of work to create that whole world.
That was something else. Yes.
And the level of detail and tension and all of that, I mean, that's just...
I mean, if they could have taken, say, 0.1% of that energy...
And put it into script writing?
And put it into a script.
Or a decent voice actor?
Oh, no. So for me, the family at the beginning, this paradise, right?
So people, a lot of stories all the way to the Bible with the Garden of Eden and all that.
So a lot of stories have this belief that there was a paradise originally and we fell from grace.
Yeah. And I don't know if that paradise is people's dim memories of their infancy when everything was taken care of and they were fed and they didn't have to work.
But people just have this fantasy that way back in time, everything was beautiful and perfect and wonderful.
And it could also be because if they believe that a god created the world, then why is the world difficult and unpleasant at times and all that?
So they believe that there's this wonderful Garden of Eden back there, and then things just got worse from there.
Now, there's no historical evidence for any of that.
No? Like, primitive tribes are brutal and violent and really...
Oh, yeah. I mean, we know that from the Aborigines in, like, Australia.
Yeah, they're tough on their children.
There's a lot of infanticide, and it's just rough.
And so they have this paradise...
And then, you know, I never understood this, like the sky ships come and they immediately set fire to the entire forest.
Yeah, why did they blow up the whole forest?
Don't they want the resources? Well, so there's two reasons.
Do you remember the two reasons for the people to be there?
The humans? Well, they wanted that stuff from the whale's brains.
The serum, yeah. Some gland that stops aging.
And they wanted the thing at the bottom, like the hard-to-find mineral and stuff.
Oh, the first one was unobtainium.
Yeah, unobtainium. No, do you remember they said Earth is dying, we want to...
Yeah, we need a new civilization.
Right, so if you want to colonize a new planet, why would you destroy the forest?
That makes no sense. Because that's the source of air?
Also, if you want to get the whales, why are you burning the forest?
It's not like you're going to scare the whales out of the forest.
What do you mean? Yes, you are. Yeah, I think the forest whales will come out.
And so they just wanted, I guess the director wanted that contrast between, oh, this perfect Garden of Eden, everything was wonderful, and then, oh, look, the humans are like, blah!
You know, like just fire, flame, and all that kind of stuff.
I bet if it was a realistic movie, the humans would be like, all right, Avatarians, we'll help you out with the problems that you need.
You help us out with ours, and just let us live here because our planet's dying, and you probably don't want that to happen.
Well, they could find some unoccupied area or something, right?
They could find some unoccupied area or just be like, look, it's such a big world.
Obviously, Earth is massive, right?
And humans don't inhabit everything on Earth, just like the Avatarians or whatever they're called don't inhabit everything on Pandora or whatever their planet name is.
I think it's Pandora. Pandora, yeah.
Pandora. They don't inhabit everything on that either.
So just find some unoccupied space.
Forget the fighting because that just wastes resources and do it there.
Right. So I thought the movie was interesting because the paradise was when it was, I mean, I know that there was a couple of half humans or whatever, right?
But it's when it was one culture.
Yeah. It was paradise when it was one culture.
Now, what I thought was interesting was when the other culture comes in, which is the humans, turns to heck and gone.
And also, when the Nali...
Navi?
Navi? Navi. Are those the blue guys?
Yeah, Navi. I think it's the blue guys.
We'll call them the blues and the science.
Guys, I can't remember the name either. Okay.
So when the blue...
They have to flee and they go and live with the sea people, the cyans, right?
There is a huge amount of racial tension.
Oh my gosh, yeah. Like crazy, right?
I mean, there's- They make fun of the appearance.
They make fun of the appearance. They attack for differences.
And then- They're like, why can't you swim well?
It's like, yeah, maybe because we grew up in the forest our whole lives, you dummies.
That is so strange. And this is very primitive, right?
Which is, you are in the area I am good in, and I'm better than you, therefore I will scorn you.
And it's like, dude, why don't we try racing through the trees and see how well you do, right?
Well, that's what I said. That's what I said. I said, okay, fine. Maybe the main character should have just said, okay, fine.
Yeah, you're great at the water, but let's do some hunting in the forest.
There's tons of peninsulas that are pretty big there, and islands, peninsules, what am I saying?
There's a giant archipelago, and there's tons of little islands that have, or actually big islands, that have big forests and stuff.
It's like, okay, fine, let's go hunting there instead.
So it'd be like me saying, Izzy, let's play Doom.
I'm better. And then what would you say?
Okay, let's play Among Us.
Or let's play absolutely everything else.
Because no, let's play Rocket League and see who wins, right?
Yeah. And so the fact that I would sort of lure you into something that I'm better at and then think that makes me better than you in general is completely ridiculous.
Yeah. It's like me saying, well...
Or like, let's do a debate on the non-aggression principle or something.
Well, no, because your debating skills are pretty ferocious from Among Us and wanting candy.
So, yeah, I just – so there was that sort of primitive – why can't they breathe well?
It's like how stupid are these people?
They know that these people haven't grown up in the ocean, near the ocean.
So, I mean, the only water that was in the forest was that tiny little shallow pool where you shot the arrow into the fish, right?
So you couldn't even get your head in there.
No. So, I don't know.
It's just kind of weird. And then, so then they attack the girl for being different, right?
Yeah, for looking at the crab hole or whatever it was.
Well, and she's having these epilepsy things, right?
These sort of attacks. But they attack and mock her for being a freak, for being different and so on, right?
That's kind of rough. Yeah.
And kids from two races, they do have some challenges sometimes in society, like settling in or trying to find a place where they feel more at home and so on.
Yeah. But then they get so hostile to the different race.
Do you remember what happens? They can't do a fight.
Well, they get into this wild fistfight based on words, right?
Yeah, because the other brother came up after it all stopped and the guys were like, fine, sorry, I'll stop.
He said, okay, look, we may have four hands, but you know what these four fingers can do?
And then he punches him in the face.
It's like, dude, they stopped fighting.
Yeah, yeah. But then it gets even worse.
Yeah. Like, it goes straight up to murder.
Yeah. Like, he tries to abandon him in the faraway sea area.
So they lure him out. Do you remember how they lure him out?
It's so sad. They go out. They're like, all right, hey, the blue kid says, the guy who originally punched him, I'm sorry for punching you.
And the other guy's like, it's all right.
You know, let's be friends, right?
And so he says, yeah, let's be friends.
And his friends are all smirking, and you just know it's going to go bad, right?
Obviously. Right? And then the blue kid's like, yeah, okay, let's be friends.
And then he says, okay, do you want to come hunting out in the ocean with us?
And the blue kid says, no, no, we can't.
I'm not allowed to be on the reef. I'm not allowed to be on the reef.
And he says, no, that's where the real men hunt.
Oh, okay. No, it's like, well, only the real men go hunting there.
No, but he had no voice acting act.
Well, yeah. The voice acting person said, no, the real men go hunt there.
Yeah. It's like, what is your voice acting?
And so he goads him.
And then immediately, immediately, there isn't even like, I don't know.
It's just like, okay. I'm going.
Yeah. Oh, are you challenging my manhood?
Fine, I'll go. See, dude, you're like 15.
You don't need to worry about manhood quite yet.
So then they take him out and they abandon him.
With a giant shark.
In the middle of nowhere. The giant shark comes a little later.
Yeah. But they abandon him with no way to get home.
Yeah. Except for his...
Oh, no. The giant... Yeah. So they abandon him in the middle of nowhere.
And... In an area beyond the reef.
So the reason the reef is important is that the giant sharks can't usually come within the reef, right?
So they take him out to a place where there are these giant predators.
If they abandon him, his mount gets chased off, and he's going to die there.
Yeah, 100%. So what's wild is that normally in movies there's very pro-diversity and very pro-mingling and mixing and so on.
But in this situation, these two groups who are very close to each other...
All they have is a different color, a different tail, and different arms.
That's it. Well, but it's the same group.
It's murderous when they try to bring these two cultures together.
That's a very unusual message to get in a modern movie.
And I don't know if that's conscious or not, but it was just like, wow, they're really saying that if you bring different groups together...
It will go terribly. There's violence, there's insults, there's murder.
Like, really, that's a very surprising message because, again, generally...
That's like second-degree murder, right? Like...
Well, you're luring him out there and abandoning to his fate.
Yes. Certainly that would be, I don't know about second degree, maybe manslaughter or something, but you are taking actions that you reasonably could believe could result in somebody's death or injury.
Yeah. So, yeah, that would just be appalling, right?
And then, of course, they worship these whales that don't have any, they don't allow killing, they don't allow violence.
Like, you don't worship them that well if you're willing to kill somebody just because he's a slightly different colored outsider, you know?
Yeah. It's just wild. Yeah.
So that, I thought, was really a wild message to get and so counter to the general belief that all diversity is a strength and wonderful and they're going to enrich each other.
It's like, no, no, they goad each other, they punch each other, they half kill each other, and then they try to get other people killed.
It's like, that is a wild message to see.
And I don't think that too many people are talking about it, but that's one of the things that was pretty clear in the message as a whole.
Yeah. Now, is there anything else that you wanted to say about the acting?
I thought the mom was really annoying.
Oh my god. Because every time she got upset, she just screamed.
Screamed. Oh, what do you want me to do when I get upset here?
Scream. Okay, but I just did that last scream.
Just scream again. You cannot petition the Lord with prayer.
Like, she was just screaming at the top of her lungs.
The whole time. It's like, yeah, I get it.
You're passionate. But, like, say something else.
Like, Well, you know, I mean, when you watch Shakespeare, people are very passionate, but they have some language.
And this, first of all, oh, can we also talk about, I really dislike this, the swearing in a movie where a lot of children are going to go.
Yeah, that's like, what? Absolutely unnecessary.
There's ways that you can...
There's so many alternative swear words that aren't rude.
Well, and they could make up a swear word in their language and make clear that it's a swear word without it being a human swear word that translates.
Because everybody knows a lot of children or adults with the minds of children are going to go and see this.
And the swearing was terrible.
Every character swore like twice.
I was really surprised at that.
That was absolutely unnecessary.
And the writing was so simplistic.
All one-syllable words, two-syllable words, really brief exchanges.
And the only speech was this half-drug trip of like, the water is us, and we are the water, and we come from the water, and we go to the water, and I worship water, and now I have to pee.
Yeah. If he's like, we take from the water and we give from the water in the end, we can only last...
It's like, yeah, be quiet.
Yeah, I mean, I guess...
I drink water every day. We get it.
I mean, maybe it's the first time somebody used pot, right?
Or something like that. Like, hey, man, you ever think that...
The water, dude.
Like, we are mostly water, so we're kind of like an ocean and our brain is like an arpeka...
Yeah, like, dude, peninsulas are sick.
Yeah, like, you look at an atom and it's stuff spinning around a central thing.
Maybe our solar system is like an atom and a couch and a lot...
It's just, like, the pseudo-deep stuff is just driving me nuts.
Yeah. And this worship...
She should have said it with, like, the stoner dude voice.
Like, he should have said it like that.
Well, and for the Garden of Eden stuff, like, everything's paradise, everything's perfect.
And do you know what's fascinating?
What? In this incredibly warm climate...
With lots of moisture, there apparently are no bugs.
No diseases! No bugs and no diseases.
Everyone lives very closely.
Yeah, they're all in proximity.
They're all eating food that's half rotten because stuff goes off pretty quickly.
You know, that's why they have spices, right?
And the infant mortality would be at least 50%.
Oh, gosh, yeah. Right?
And they also, as I said, the infanticide.
So this whole idea, like, we have four children and everybody's perfectly healthy and their teeth are perfectly strong and everybody's robust and nobody ever gets sick.
Well, dude, how are your teeth perfectly straight and perfectly white?
Well, they don't have sugar other than what's in fruit, right?
So maybe that's got something to do with it.
And we never lost a kid to a predator.
A kid never fell out of a tree.
Well, they lost one kid in the end, but that was murder.
Well, that was a human predator, right?
So this idea that everything's perfect and you're in harmony with nature...
Nature is not harmony. No.
Do you remember the frogs and the chickens?
Yeah, or even with our duck and like the coyote or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we lost a duck to a predator.
Yeah. Nature is not harmony.
Nature is balance, but that balance is only people, like animals killing each other slightly more or less.
Now, except for, this really bothered me too, except for one time when one of the whales was gently inhaling a cloud of small fish, did you ever see an animal attack or harm another animal?
Only with the fish at the beginning.
Huh? Only stabbing the fish at the beginning.
The people? Yeah. Oh, no, no, but animals within themselves.
No. Oh, wait, no, the whale killed the shark.
Oh, yeah, the whale did bite the shark, that's right.
I think he ate some of it.
Well, the shark managed to get away.
No, the shark died. No, the shark got away, which is why he turned to the human, because if he'd eaten the shark, he wouldn't have gone after the human.
No, but he... Wait, no.
No, hold on. So the big whale, the dude that was, like, ostracized from the rest of the group...
No, no, but first there was a shark that attacked him, was trying to get him through the coral.
First the shark attacked him, and then the whale killed the shark.
No, honestly, I think, guys, I remember biting the tail.
The shark, no, no, the shark, no, I was there for that.
The shark escaped, trading blood, and that's when the, wait, was it the whale?
No, the whale killed the shark.
He bit the neck, and the shark got killed, and the shark fell down, trailed down to the bottom of the sea.
Did it? Yeah, it did.
Yeah, I'm 100%. I'm like, oh, death.
But the shark was a bad guy for trying to eat the young man, right?
Yeah. But other than that, nothing was eating each other.
We almost never saw the humans eat either.
They killed the fish, but we never saw the avatarians eat, or the humans eat, or whatever.
What is your thing about people never going to the washroom in movies?
Oh yeah, I think it only ever happens if it helps the plot.
What I mean helps the plot, if it's like, oh, he goes to the washroom and then everyone runs off or whatever, right?
Or in Shrek at the beginning when they're trying to show that he's kind of gross and he goes to the washroom.
Like, only gross people go to the washroom.
No, I just think it's unrealistic.
No one ever coughs unless they're about to die.
No one ever sneezes unless there's a ton of dust in the air.
And no one ever uses the washroom.
And no one ever warns anyone and it turns out the warning is false.
Yeah. Every time it's look out, something terrible happens, right?
Yeah, yeah. So yeah, this view of nature as being in balance and harmony and it's all beautiful and it's like, no, no, everything there has to eat something.
Everything that's swimming has to eat something else.
And the fact that you never saw any of this stuff happen.
Well, they had those, there were these two different types of things they wrote, which was one of the ones was like the flying fish kind of thing and that would fly above the water.
Yes, we had names for them.
Do you remember what they were? We called the underwater swimming ones turtles, and we called the other ones iguanas, because you can have flying lizards and iguanas swim.
So yeah, there's ones that basically are underwater, can come out a little bit, and then there's ones that can fly with their tails dragging in the water.
Yes, we call those ones iguanas, and we call the underwater ones turtles, and then we call the flying ones just dragons, just turtles.
Yes, so the two that are in the sea area...
Are iguanas and turtles. Okay, so what was your issue with those?
Okay, so the iguana ones, right?
They have these giant jaws, like giant...
Yeah, marracuda jaws. They almost look like those needle nose...
No, but they look like those needle nose crocodiles.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about. They have, like, they're alligators.
No, crocodiles. Yeah, you're right.
Like, they're really... They have massive sharp teeth and they're, like, really long.
Do you know what those things would do realistically?
They'd eat off all the sea turtles until the sea...
Sorry, these... Until the turtle ones...
Went away from the reef.
They wouldn't just sit there next to them.
It's like, no, the turtle ones are obviously prey, and the other ones are obviously fighters.
Right. Okay, I'm going to give a little calorie lecture.
Yes. Okay, so why did human beings domesticate dogs and cats?
Because they took up less calories than they provided.
The cats would save all the grain from the winter, and the dogs would help hunt.
Yeah, so the dogs, you feed the dogs, but the dogs keep your animals safe, and they also keep the dangerous people away.
So you feed your dogs meat, but the dogs...
Keep away criminals. Yeah, the dogs preserve 10,000 calories for every 500 calories you give a dog.
Yeah, they also help hunt as well.
They help hunt, yeah. So it has to be calorie positive for you to be able to domesticate pets.
Now, I was thinking about, well, you feed cats, but you said something different.
Well, I said the cats eat up all the mice.
Yeah, so the cats are free.
Yeah, the cats are free, so you don't have to...
No, you have to feed them and they keep the mice out of your grain in the winter so you can survive.
You probably spend a thousand calories on a cat every year.
Yeah, something like that. Like cleaning it occasionally maybe and giving it some food when the mice are out.
Right. So you domesticate animals when they provide far more calories than they consume.
Now, these animals, the size of them, they were like ten times bigger than a human at least, right?
Oh yeah, they eat so much.
Or the cyan people. So how on earth could it possibly be positive animals?
It's not.
So then everyone dies. I know that they've got to have cool stuff, but it's like, man, put a little bit of work.
That stuff made no sense at all.
Do you want to hear something else? I'm about to rant.
Okay, we have ducks, right?
Our ducks, they swim.
They're not diving ducks, they're dabbling ducks, but the dabbling ducks still stick their heads underwater.
In order to get some plants.
So diving ducks are the types of wild ducks that'll go under catch fish and stuff, right?
And are very adept at swimming underwater.
These ducks are fat and lazy, so they're dabbling ducks and all they do is they tip their head into the water and eat grass and maybe occasionally the few crayfish or whatever that they find in the ponds, right?
So when our ducks would go swimming, before it was too cold out, they would stick their head in the water and right before they did that, they have a clear eyelid that goes over their eye.
Oh, yeah. We're good to go.
Yeah. So do you know what would happen?
Either the sea people would have developed with this over tens of thousands of evolution years or whatever, right?
Yeah. Or they wouldn't swim underwater because they can't see anything.
Right. And you don't need to swim underwater if you can fish.
No. If you have the intelligence to fish, I don't know how they have the intelligence to fish, but if they have the intelligence to fish, you don't need to swim.
Right. And also, if you fish, you're out of the shark's area.
I know they're inside the reef, but there's other predators like barracuda kind of fish or whatever.
Piranhas probably. Yeah, so you don't go into the water if you can avoid it.
You just fish and then you don't need to.
Because the only way they develop that membrane is if people died without it.
And people who happen to develop that randomly would survive a lot more.
Yeah, like people who ever had the thickest eyelids or the clearest eyelids would just have that.
So there's millions of human beings who've grown up right by the ocean.
They've never developed these eyes.
But these guys, they come from the forest.
And first of all, I was going to time it at one point, but it was like, they can live 10 minutes underwater, 20 minutes underwater.
And they can see perfectly well.
Yeah. No adaptation.
It doesn't make sense. They have like one day of training and they can swim.
Okay, these people have developed for swimming.
They have arms. They have webbing.
Their tails have flips.
Their feet have webbing. They have tails that are thick, right?
Yeah. And they can...
I guess the blue people can, with their thin tails, thin arms, thin legs, and zero practice swimming or almost zero practice swimming, can swim just as fast as the people who have evolved over thousands of years...
Well, no, they said they can't swim.
Oh, no, they were complaining that they had to go up to air.
Yeah, and then they learned how to breathe in like 10 minutes.
I mean, it takes... I remember...
I still remember very vividly as a kid at the age of four or five learning how to swim.
Yeah, I remember you... We were at some resort or something and you were holding me in the...
No, I remember me learning how to swim.
I remember me learning how to swim too. You remember learning how to swim, right?
I was like three. It was very vague, but I do remember you were holding me and I was dogging.
I remember my mom was going to get me a piece of candy or something if I learned how to swim.
So I was kicking off the bottom but making a lot of...
Splashing bubbles so that it looked like I could swim because I wanted the candy.
That was the only time I ever was not completely honest.
Yeah, that's not true. My kids were never honest.
Anyways, I'm a teenager.
It doesn't apply to me. I said kids.
But 12 years? Okay, never mind.
We'll get back to that. So, yeah, it bothered me that these guys who never swam just could go in, they could swim down 20 feet.
Also, no ear pressure problems.
No ear pressure. Right?
And no bends.
The bends or anything where the nitrogen bubbles fall in your blood because you can't ever rise faster than your bubbles coming back up.
So, again, I get that they want to make it kind of cool and fun, but it was so annoyingly unrealistic that it interfered with any enjoyment I could have.
I'm pretty much 14, right?
These guys have had years and years of producing movies.
Sorry, you're pretty, much 14.
No. What?
So 14. Much pretty.
Okay, go on. Same. Look, so I'm pretty much 14.
Don't comma. Don't stop.
I won't. No, no, I won't. Enough.
No, I'm basically 14, right?
I've had precisely like maybe a year working on stories because like I've done some story making for like homeschooling and stuff, right?
No, no, you wrote movies and animated movies.
Didn't write anything. No, but you, sorry, you made the movies.
I would make a few animations, yeah.
No, you made the movies, so you made one about the pandemic, you made one about kids challenging their adults in their life.
Yeah, and I did an Among Us animation thing.
No, but the long ones, your movies were like an hour at times, right?
I had one that was an hour, that was Revolutions, and then the other one was, I forget the pandemic one, but that was like 10 minutes of that.
No, I think that was longer.
That one was 11 minutes and a lot of them were 30 to 40 minutes.
So you've created stories.
I've done some stories and stuff.
I remember working on the plots with you.
Yes, I've had some stories and stuff, right?
But these people have had probably like 20 years of producing movies.
More, yeah. They could have hired so many people with the budget.
I bet the budget for this movie was insane.
The movie has to make $2 billion to break even.
Okay, so with $2 billion, they could have hired someone to...
Figure out, you know, some science.
They could have hired a scientist or a doctor or something to figure out.
To explain some things. Just to throw in a couple of explanations so that we're not bothered by all the impossibility.
I'm 14 with like a year of like story practice or whatever, right?
And I was able to catch pretty much all of this stuff pretty early on.
And these people had spent like five years working on this whole thing with $2 billion budget.
And they couldn't figure out that you needed a clear lens underwater to see.
Well, so... Yeah, it's not that the budget was $2 billion, but in order to make it to all of its marketing and all of the initial costs and to make a profit, it has to make that.
Like, it's the budget. No, it's kind of the budget because it's how much they spend on the movie, so it's the budget.
So, and here's the thing.
It's lazy. It's lazy.
Like, you have a problem, which is, okay, they come from the forest.
How do they end up learning how to swim?
Okay, so you have a problem.
So you solve that problem in some manner that is realistic.
They could have done a quick time lapse, I guess.
Like a month or two trying to learn them how to swim.
Right. That would have been fine.
Right. But they didn't.
They just stepped over all of these obvious problems...
Just had everything happen automatically that was the complete opposite of everything that could be realistic.
And you say, ah, well, it's a fantasy film.
But a fantasy film has to still have some internal logic because if everything's magic and everything, all problems can just be stepped over, then you don't care about any of the issues, any of the problems, right?
It would be like setting up some giant murder mystery with all these complicated clues and then the murderer just comes up and confesses 15 minutes into the movie.
It's like, well, what's the rest of the movie about it?
If you could just have weird things to just pop up to solve every problem, it's just lazy filmmaking.
It really is lazy, yeah.
It was annoying. Let's talk about the whales.
So, this guy, he gets rescued by the whale.
Oh, no. Tries to tell him.
The cringe wails. I hate the...
Okay, let's just... Before we start this, because I'm going to use this word a lot.
I don't like the word cringe. Like, when I make jokes about games that aren't popular anymore with my friends, one of...
Well, specifically one of them, will be like, oh, that's so cringe, right?
And I'll be like, I don't care if you find it...
You can't just say it's cringe.
Some people don't find it cringe, right?
I don't find it cringe, so my other friends don't find it cringe, but...
Cringe is not an argument. Cringe is not an argument.
Just saying something's cringe is kind of saying, I don't like when you do that.
Just say that. Don't say it's cringe, because it's not cringe.
And it's trying to make someone embarrassed about their enthusiasm, which is kind of unkind, I think.
Yeah, like, I really like...
I like Among Us, and I like Minecraft, which are two games that are not as popular anymore as they used to be.
So when I make an Among Us joke or an Among Us reference, I'll annoy people by playing some Among Us song or something just randomly, which is funny.
And often a lot of people will get a laugh out of it, right?
And then this one guy usually will just be like, oh, that's so cringe.
Among Us is so dead. I'll be like, okay, so...
But, I'll just be honest, I don't like the word cringe.
But there are some times where the word cringe is absolutely necessary, like this movie.
So, I think if...
I would like to make a request to dictionaries that when someone needs to look up what the word cringe means, put on Avatar 2.
And fast forward to where?
Whale scenes. The whale scenes. Okay, this guy meets a whale.
The whale saves him from the shark because it needs to get a hook pulled out of its...
The whale just happened to be there and just happened to charge right before...
We're going to ignore that aspect of it.
That's not even the bad part.
Yeah. So the whale happened to be there.
I'm going to... Sorry, I'm saying the aspect I just told you to not say.
And that was... Hang on.
And that... Okay, remind me later about all the other things from other movies that were in this movie.
I will, I will remind you. Because that's in a Star Wars movie where they're about to get eaten by something, something else comes and eats them and the guy says, there's always a bigger fish.
That happens in every movie. But here's the thing.
So this whale, he rescues the human, he's like, human, sorry, human, and says, okay, basically get the sting out of my paddle.
Or whatever. My flipper.
My flipper. Yeah. Flipper.
So he does it. And then he sees the whale again at some point.
The whale takes him back to the reef, which he somehow knows exactly where that guy's from, even though it's a forest person who'd probably live in the forest, not the reef.
That's right. He wouldn't know where the...
No. He would assume that this human settlement is.
I could go with that.
He would assume. Yeah. But then he takes him back to the reef.
And then next time they meet up, he asks, like, okay, where's the rest of your flock, I guess, right?
Or your school of whales?
I don't know. A pod?
We're going to call it a flock. I think it's a pod.
It's a flock. Okay. No, it's a pod of killer whales.
Okay, it's a pod of whales.
All right. Where's the rest of your pod?
Because you learned that they always go in pairs or groups, right?
Yeah. Let me tell you, the worst fonts or one of the worst fonts for this I've ever seen is like this ugly orange-yellow font pops up on the screen.
It says, it's too painful.
It's too painful. He speaks whale.
He learned to speak whale.
What? Okay, can we just do a tiny sidebar here?
Yeah. Because people may not understand how, for you, font is a four-letter word.
Like, your relationship with fonts is one of those complicated things in this or any other universe.
Go. Go. Among Us.
Go. They changed the font three times.
They spent so much time changing the font and their updates that it has taken them a year and nine months to release a new map and they haven't done it yet.
This is the submarine map?
Yes. Yeah. They can't do it and they keep changing the fonts and they keep making stuff no one wants and they added accounts, they added a chat wheel, like no one wants that, just add a map.
Yeah, when the font changes, all the love goes out of your life.
Yeah, they reanimated everything in the game and changed the font.
It's like, why would you do that?
You were used to the font, you loved the font, you were going to marry the font, and then the font just got...
You understand perfectly. Yeah, I understand.
Straight to the altar for the font.
Exactly. No, I just don't...
Look, fonts annoy me. Just choose the right font for something and stick with it.
But there's literally one of the worst fonts that could have possibly been used at that time just pops up and says, it's too painful for the whale.
Why does the whale speak?
Why does he speak whale?
Whales aren't that intelligent.
Why does the whale know math?
Oh, wait. Oh, yeah, the guy says whales have math, philosophy, music, emotions.
Now, it's called a whale song, and I think they do call to each other, and it probably is humming that happens among the whales.
Why would the whale develop math unless it's farming?
Yes. The reason humans evolved with math, especially Asians who are really good at math, is because they had to be really good at math to get rice.
And if they weren't good at math, they'd probably not survive.
They couldn't figure out the water volume because you need a lot of water to grow rice.
So you need math. And the reason Europeans and everyone else got math is because they do farming.
And they have to figure out how much are we going to get during the winter, how much do we need to survive, how many calories do we need, right?
So that's why humans develop math.
Do you know what whales are like? Ooh, nom nom fish.
They don't need math. They don't need philosophy.
Why would they have developed with any of that?
Well, it's sentimentality.
Kids as a whole love the idea that wild animals are going to love them and be friendly to them and just see the wonder and beauty of themselves and all of that.
And of course, it never happens, right?
No. I mean, wild animals generally are very frightened of people or very aggressive.
The only time I've seen a peaceful wild animal It was a wild goose that's been fed by humans its whole life.
It just let me walk up. Literally, more calm than our ducks that I've raised since they were two days old.
Literally let me walk up to him.
He didn't even take the food I was offering, and I just pet him for a while, and he honked at me.
It was like the nicest duck. But then he was used to people and all, right?
Yeah, named it Toffee. Yeah, I mean, like you had that squirrel that was very aggressive and...
Squirrel? Chipmunk, sorry.
Chipmunk. Yeah, that was an embarrassing scene.
Yeah, and when we had...
In our vegetable garden, we would see turtles from time to time.
And bunnies, they were terrified of us.
And bunnies terrified of us.
The turtles would snap at us.
I remember doing a little dance to get away from the turtle and he's just like, hey, I wonder how far this net comes out.
Remember in the chicken coop, you always got your arm bit because of the turtle.
I do remember that, yeah.
And I bit it back, but if the shell...
No, I remember the chickens.
Well, I didn't exactly stand on the rock.
I stood on a different rock. But the chickens were standing on a rock.
And I'm like, oh, that's a cool rock. Again, I was like seven at the time.
Then I look closer. I'm like, yeah, that's not a rock.
Where did that rock come from?
And it was literally a giant snapping turtle in the chicken coop.
No, so children's love of animals is to get them used to rejection.
Yeah. Because like, hey, I love you, and they just run away all the time.
I love you, come get some food.
Just run away, or they'll, you know, and so it's just, it's time to get you used to rejection.
Our ducks don't love us.
They're just emotionally bonded to other people, like flock members.
Right. Yeah, yeah. They're just imprints, right?
Yeah. Like, they don't actually look in...
They don't like... Man, I love your virtues, right?
Like, Hitler, as an example.
Animals loved Hitler because he was vegetarian.
Well, and he was kind to dogs.
Yeah, he was kind to dogs. Monstrously evil human being, but kind to dogs.
So the dogs are like, great! Yeah, yeah.
Are you good for me or not? Animals don't care about virtue, right?
If you've just murdered someone, then you, like, kiss a dog on the head, and he'll be like, oh, thank you, and I'll lick you back or whatever, right?
They don't care. Right.
They might be scared of you if they see you kill something, but then you're perfectly nice to them.
They'll be like, okay. And there's this, it's almost like insanity for me.
Like the whole movie as a whole. So they're saying, you know, the simple life without technology is best.
That's the entire thing of the movie.
Do you know how much technology they used to make?
Well, that's the thing. I mean, they probably melted half the solar system in computing power to render every single frame of this movie.
And then they complain about Bitcoin. Anyway.
No, but they're like, well, the simple life being at one with nature, no technology, you know, you barely have a bow and arrow.
That's the best life by far.
And the amount of technology they use to produce this movie, it's completely schizophrenic.
Yeah, you want to know something? My math book, right?
Or no, my book.
It's just like a whole curriculum book.
That will follow occasionally for my schoolwork, right?
And it gives you English assignments.
And one of them was like, the story was about global warming.
And I was like, write stuff about how you agree with it, right?
And they were saying something about how bad cutting down trees from paper was.
I'm like, what's this book made of?
What? This book is made of shreds of trees.
Do you know how many copies of this book were at the store?
All of them. But this is what people do.
They say, well, there are these general rules, but I'm excluded.
Because I'm making the rules.
They had this climate change conference in Bali.
They literally flew private planes with limos inside the private planes.
To go to this climate change – anyway.
So yeah, the simple life is better, but this guy is a total tech head, the maker of the movie, right?
He's been always at the forefront because he did like Terminator, Terminator 2, and he's really been at the forefront of computers and movies forever.
And he's like, no, no, no, but for you, the simple life is best.
I really, I make a huge amount of living, I make lots of money off technology, but for you, the simple life is best.
And he has no understanding of human nature.
I think he spent so much time with technology that he just doesn't understand people.
He doesn't, none of these characters were interesting.
None of them were differentiated.
None of them seemed to have any inner voice.
The only one that was different was the completely crazy one who had like visions and stuff.
Well, yeah, but just saying she's crazy is not really a characterization, right?
And... Yeah, and then...
Now, you enjoyed the last bit more than I did, because it...
Oh, oh, can we also do...
When things are happy...
Oh, my... Dude, it was so obvious!
I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
Someone died! It's raining!
The whale didn't come back!
It's raining! Oh, a new baby was born!
It's sunny! It's sunny!
Yeah. Oh, and there's going to be a big fight scene, so we have to have an eclipse and everything has to get super dark.
Even though there was no eclipses any other time in the movie, you'd see it occasionally.
No, the eclipse was in the evening. Wasn't there an eclipse every evening or something like that?
Well, but no. Do you remember in the middle of the day when they were hunting at the final bit, they were hunting the whale?
Yeah. And then they were hunting the guy, right?
The main guy? Yeah. Yeah.
And then in the middle of the day, then there's an eclipse.
I've never been in an eclipse before in the middle of the day, but then because they've got to have the fighting going on in the dark, right?
And so, oh man, it was just, yeah, that's way too obvious, you know?
It's dark because bad things are happening.
It's happy, so it's even worse than that intrusive, you know, every time they want you to feel sad, they just have that slow tinkly piano and the jump scares with the punk and all this.
It's so manipulative. I feel programmed.
The audio in movies nowadays is so...
You don't even need to have a good plot.
You could have a really happy scene going on and play sad music, everyone will feel nostalgic, right?
You play a really sad but happy music, everyone will feel hopeful, right?
So it's just like...
Man, if they could put sad music when the villains die for once, that would just be hilarious.
Yeah. Yeah. And also, it's like that cliche that whenever there's a movie shot anywhere in Mexico, what does it look like?
Yellow. They put, like, the yellow filter on.
The yellow filter is like everything is...
Or whenever it's Canada, it's blue.
Oh, yeah, yeah. In midsummer, it's...
No, they only ever go to Canada in the winter.
No, they'll do Canada in the summer, but they'll make it look like the US. Yeah.
No, what they do is, if it's ever going to a cold place, it's always in the winter.
It's never in the summer when it's not that cold.
It always has to be in the winter.
I also want to mention, yeah, but music is so manipulative now.
You don't even need to have a good plot.
Just put on sad music and everyone will be like, that's the most emotional movie I've ever seen.
So other things too.
So for me, watching the guy who made Titanic, Also have, oh no, they're trapped inside a sinking ship and they have to get out.
It's like, you just did this in Titanic.
And also, do you remember when I described this to you from the movie Jaws?
They shot the whale and then had big buoys or inflatables that drew the whale up to the surface straight out of the movie Jaws.
And I just felt like I was watching...
Bits of other movies put together.
Wasn't there something else, too?
Like, there was... There was more than just that.
There was more than Jaws and Titanic.
There were like two other movies. Oh yeah, every movie has the thing like, oh, you're about to die and some bigger predator comes along.
Yeah, and also every time somebody says, look out!
You know, the disaster happens.
They're never wrong. But I feel like there were like two other movies though that stuff was stolen from, wasn't there?
We did talk about those.
Maybe they'll come back to us. Yeah, I don't know.
I think we counted five earlier.
Yeah, it was like a Franken movie in that it just felt like all of this, everything reminded me of something else.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.
How many times can children be kidnapped?
We counted four times.
Four times the children get kidnapped.
Yeah, there was the Justin Bieber dude.
The little kid, the older kid, and then the two other kids.
No, five times! Five times!
Okay, so we've got Justin Bieber dude, spider, gets kidnapped.
He got twice. Did he get kidnapped twice?
But then there was the kids who were first bound to the railing.
Then they got freed.
Then they were bound again. So that's five.
Then they stole one set of kids, and then he stole the Justin Bieber dude again.
And it's just like... Five or six, right? Five or six.
Anyway, it's just like, oh, come on.
Can you come up with some other thing other than...
Kids are kidnapped. I have your kids.
And also that little kid.
I don't blame her. She was a good voice actor, especially for her age.
The little girl? Her name was Kitty, I think.
Yeah. I don't know why they have a kid named Kitty.
I don't know if it was Kitty, like with two T's.
It's probably a short for something.
Yeah, probably. But I mean, like, dude, you probably don't even know what a cat is.
You don't have them on Pandora.
But that was silly.
I could be mistaken, though, but...
Kitty, the little kid, like the four-year-old or whatever, she was a good voice actor, but she had the worst lines.
Yeah, there were no good lines in that movie.
Nothing memorable, nothing good.
Sorry, have you finished that point?
No, go ahead. Okay, so let's just jump back a little bit to the beginning.
All right. So at the beginning, the father says to the kids, don't visit war sites.
Oh, no, let's go even further back.
At the very beginning of the movie, near the beginning, there's a train.
Oh, no. Do you remember the train?
The train is going, and then they fly in and attack the train on dragons, right?
Yeah, like, the radar's been around since, like, 1940 or 1938, something like that, right?
I wrote about it in one of my novels.
So are you saying that with this incredible technology to travel between the stars, they don't have radar, they don't have surface-to-air missiles, they know they can be attacked by these people, and technology is always helpless.
Same thing in Jurassic Park.
The dinosaurs always get you before you can shoot them, right?
And so it really, it's like, look, you've got a problem, which is that you want to attack a train with dragons.
Okay, fine. But find an intelligent way to do it other than, oh yeah, we have no idea you're coming.
There's no satellite imagery.
There's no real-time warnings.
These people have machines that can put up a high-tech facility in six days.
They said that. Oh, those spider guys, right?
The spider robots.
Yeah, and then they have those giant spaceships with cryogenic freezing and stuff.
It's like, dude, they have those 3D maps you can walk through.
You can walk through technology in this movie, but they don't even have radar in hostile territory.
What do you mean? Yeah, that to me is just, it's getting lazy, lazy filmmaking.
Now the other thing too is that the typical thing, the dad says, don't do X, right?
And the kids were constantly disobeying the parents, right?
Yeah. So the kids are like, so there was this war site, this battle site where they had destroyed the train, right?
Yeah. Yeah. And the kids show up there, which they shouldn't do, and then there's a counterattack from the humans, and the kids almost get killed, right?
Yeah. So the dad is really angry.
And the mom's like, you're too harsh on them.
You're too harsh on them. Children should be in a war zone.
Apparently, this is how crazy this woman was.
She's like, I'm so stupid that I'm going to get mad at my husband for getting mad at my kids for coming to a war zone.
And then the kids know that they're going to have a defense whenever the dad gets mad at them.
So this, you're just too harsh on your children.
They should be allowed to wander around a place where there's weaponry and everyone's about to get attacked.
And so because of that...
they end up being captured all the time.
None of them ended up getting killed.
And so because the mom won't let the father be strict with the children or undermines the father being strict with the children, one of her kids gets killed.
And then she's like, ah, screaming, wailing.
And it's like, ah.
You dummy.
Look in the mirror and say, maybe I should have supported my husband being strict with the kids so one of my kids didn't get killed but was never mentioned.
Yep.
And also the pregnant tribe wife, the tribe leader wife, pregnant, going into war.
That never happens. You know what happened?
They'd be like, oh, there's war coming.
Quick, I'm going to get pregnant. Oh, is that war again?
Oh, I'm going to get pregnant again.
Oh, it's really tragic.
And here's the other thing, too.
A lot of stress hormones, a lot of fight or flight, a lot of adrenaline, that's not good for the baby.
No. Like putting pregnant women, oh, it's so empowering.
It's like you realize that that's very dangerous for the baby.
That baby's going to be messed up, right?
Well, I mean, it's a lot of jostling.
You get any kind of injury, the baby's going to die.
There's a lot of stress hormones flooding your body in combat.
And so just this idea that, oh, and...
I mean, the body proportions, I'm sure they're similar to the original Avatar, became ridiculous.
They look like stretched out Gumby people, right?
Like, they're long, right?
Long. Yeah, so they just, they became so stretched out, it just became completely...
They're like 10 feet tall or something, like, what the heck?
Something like, well, okay, first of all, you couldn't be that way, because to be that tall, you would really, as a human, you couldn't be that tall without injuring your legs, bones every time you walk.
Well, I think they developed this way, so, and they do a lot of climbing instead of walking.
They live in trees, right?
Yeah, so it just became so elongated.
Oh, there's one other thing I wanted to mention too.
I noticed this at the very beginning.
There was a scene where all of the soldiers had become avatars so that they could hunt, they could blend in and hunt among the Navi.
Sorry, Navi is from some other game.
I think it was so that the animals in the forest wouldn't attack them for being different.
Yes, but also, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.
And they wouldn't set off these alarms.
So every time they were looking at each other, these soldiers in their NAVI form, they never quite looked at each other.
Like if you ever want to mess someone up at a party or wherever, right?
When they're talking, just look at their nose.
Yeah. Right? It's kind of distracting, right?
Is it? Or look at their mouth so that they know you're not...
Because if you look at the eyes, the communication is pretty solid, right?
But if you look at someone's chin while they're trying to talk to you, they kind of trail off because they feel a lack of connection.
And they couldn't get the eyes to track right eye to eye.
No. So it always looked like they were looking somewhere different than who they were talking to.
I never noticed that, actually.
Right, right. I didn't pay attention to their eyes because their eyes looked weird.
I looked at the backgrounds and stuff.
Oh, and what was that? The one kid had these giant eyes.
Oh, the little one? Oh no, the anime.
Oh my gosh, the anime. Who was that?
Oh my god, let me rant, let me rant.
I hate movies. Look, I've never been a huge fan of romance, but I will occasionally like, okay, romance in movies is fine, but like, dude, don't make it so obvious.
Like, these two people, like when the blue guys came to the tribe, right?
The cyan guys, yeah. No, the blue guys came to the cyan tribe, right?
The cyan tribe, they're like...
The female cyan woman, right?
Literally looks at the kid, slowly comes out of the water with the eyes sparkling.
Bikini thing. It's like, dude, it's so clear.
Make it less clear. They haven't said a single word to each other and they're already fawning over each other.
He's not even that attractive compared to some of the other guys in the background.
Like, what? Well, and the idea that the most beautiful woman in the tribe wouldn't be taken at her age, like into marriage or something.
Anyway. And the tribe's daughter is what she is.
So the tribe leader would have just married her off.
Can I give you another rant? What?
Okay, so after the son of the Sea People, the son of the Sea People's leader, tries or acts in a way to get the cyan, sorry, the blue kid killed.
Yeah. What does the blue kid do?
Oh no, it's fine. I did it myself.
I was the one who suggested that I'm responsible for it.
It's my fault. No, do you know what he'd say?
No, your son tried to get me killed, dude.
Right, right. Because if you have a potential murderer on your hands...
Forgiving that person and enabling that person's behavior and taking on the blame is just going to make them worse.
Yeah. Unfortunately, they're going to need consequences at that point.
So yeah, that just kind of drove me kind of crazy.
So I'm fine with fantasy.
I love Lord of the Rings, love fantasy.
But this was so anti-realistic, so anti-human, so anti-persons you can care about.
Everybody was just kind of horrible and weird and bad.
And I don't know. It was just...
I can understand, especially in fantasy movies, like a little bit of unbelievable, right?
Yeah. I mean, it's almost impossible to have it perfectly believable because if that was the case, then it would be the real world, right?
There's got to be a few things that you can skim over, but it's just blatantly.
Like mid-movie, I'm like, okay, well, they wouldn't be able to see underwater.
Okay, well, they wouldn't have developed that way.
Okay, well, why did they go in the water if they can just fish?
Okay, well, those predators would kill the other guys.
It's like, it just doesn't make sense.
Yeah. Yeah. So I... Way too long.
They could have cut... They could have cut an hour.
Some of it was absolutely just candy.
Like, absolutely unnecessary. Like, the amount they're swimming underwater and playing underwater.
They don't need that for the story.
I thought it was better than the story, because at least it was pretty.
At least it was pretty, yeah. And then the last 20 minutes of battle in the darkness, and I don't know, it just to me got...
I liked the... The ending I thought was good.
Not like the actual ending, like the pre-ending.
Like, I don't know. I thought it was good just because it was, like, pretty.
And the fighting was cool.
Fighting's fun. The fighting was really cool.
They did a super good job on the fighting, actually.
Like, the CGI for that was great.
Like, they...
I just remember, like, she was diving around or he or whatever it was.
The dives and the rolls and stuff like that.
The dives and the rolls and, like, the shooting around.
I'm like, dang, you know, that's pretty cool.
But historically...
Advanced bullet weapons versus bows.
Not a super great combo.
We've seen this play out a number of times.
No, but it's because the whale came and crushed all their weapons.
No, but they were still fighting with bows against people with guns.
Yes, that doesn't make sense.
And that's not super great historically.
Historically, that doesn't happen.
Yeah. So, yeah, I just, I thought it was a, it was a real, it was a real shame.
And, and it had degraded a lot in terms of quality.
There was a certain wonder to the first movie because this technology had never been done before.
And it wasn't a great story, but it was, you know, interesting.
But this was like, this had just been dumbed down.
I mean, they have to go for a worldwide audience.
So they can't have any culture. They can't have any morality.
They can't have any ethics. They can't have any, anything specific.
Yeah, that's why movies made like 30 years ago are the best.
Yeah, because here you've got to sell to India, to China, to Africa, to Europe.
And so you can't have any content other than Flash Boom Bang.
Now, Flash Boom Bang can be fine, but not for over three hours.
Not three hours. Yeah, that's just...
I mean, at the end of it, I was just like, oh, please.
I saw you kept checking your wallet.
Yeah, I was like, okay, I need to, you know...
Some might. Well, I just...
We all know how it's going to end.
Yeah. Someone probably is going to die and then they're going to get happy again.
Well, and we also know, because he wants more movies, that the bad guy is going to get away.
Yeah. And he did, right?
And the dumb kid.
Spider, Justin Bieber dude.
Yeah. You've got to be kidding me.
He goes to save the bad guy.
Yeah. He's just tried to kill him and his siblings.
Yeah. Because he saved his life once.
No, he didn't save his life.
He subdued his violent impulses to kill someone for half a second, meaning that the guy lived.
Spider lived. The Justin Bieber kid lived.
So, I mean, why would you do that, bro?
You dummy. He should have been ostracized from the entire tribe for the rest of his life because that was a dumb move.
That was a really dumb move.
Now the guy's going to come back.
Yes, so the whole point is about protecting your family, and then he saves the guy who has threatened to hunt him to the end of the earth.
And so now I have no sympathy.
I'm not going to see any more of these.
I can't do it. Life is too short.
We're doing it. What?
Next one. We're watching it.
Okay, well, probably you'll be 20.
I invested like five hours into this whole series now, plus this show.
We're not just stopping here.
Okay, fine. We're going good.
Alright, anything else you wanted to mention?
No. Should people go and sue this movie?
Yes. No. Yes.
No! Give them...
Look, I understand you're giving...
No, because they're just... Oh, you want them to make more?
Well, number one, yes, I want them to make more.
And number two, this is genuinely, I think, one of the worst movies that's ever been made.
I think everybody should at least suffer.
Like, if I suffered, you guys have to suffer.
No, no, but then the filmmaker makes a fortune.
I don't care. What?
Make another movie. No.
Movies have just become too dumbed down.
This is why we don't watch any of the superhero movies.
It's just that even the voice acting wasn't good.
Yeah, I know they didn't have great scripts, but they could have put some emotion into their voice.
I think they tried, but also they're so far away from actually being able to act together.
Because they're all in CGI rooms and blue screen and green screen and costumes.
They're so far away from a normal human interaction, it's pretty hard.
I think to act. Okay, well then, that's why there's good actors.
Yeah, I guess. It's the same with Toy Story too, right?
Well, yeah. Actors are just...
I'm sorry, but that's why you have a budget of $2 million, or $2 billion, so you can hire good actors.
I think they might have been stuck with the actress in the first one.
No, but all the kids were new.
The kids were the worst actors, and they were all new.
Yeah, they were all just terrible.
It's one-dimensional actress.
And it's just, they didn't even use emotion.
No, no, they did scream.
No, barely. Not even the kids.
They were just like, okay, let's go.
And it was like, no, dude, you can't go there.
It was literally like, what?
It'd be like, no, dude, you can't go there.
Like, it was just like, no, dude, you can't go there.
So Izzy's really trying to say, I'm just going to paraphrase for you, don't go and see this movie.
See it. Yeah, she just spoke that in whale.
So, yeah, and if you want to learn how to speak four-eyed whale, you're set.
Yeah, yeah, you're set. You should watch it, honestly.
I think everyone needs to see the worst movie of the century.
No, please. I would say if somebody's already playing it at someone else's house, it's probably worth watching, but don't give these people any money.
So you can watch it without paying for it yourself.
Once it comes out of the theaters, I would watch it so that you can get it pretty cheap.
No, but they're still going to make money off that, so...
I think it's okay if he makes money so that he can make more of this monstrosity so that more people can have existential crisis while watching a four-hour movie.
Or you can just get a big fish and hit yourself over the head with it repeatedly, which would be a very similar...
With one of the reviews...
Watching this movie is like being waterboarded through concrete.
By blue concrete for three hours.
By blue concrete, yeah. It was just appalling.
All right. Well, thanks everyone for listening.
Watch the movie. And have yourself a very Merry Christmas.
Thanks to you for the show. We'll talk to you guys soon.
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