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April 7, 2022 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux

01:44:40

HOW TO LOVE WOMEN - AND MEN!

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Time	Text
	Alright. Hi, everybody.
	How you doing? Nice to chat with you.
	Preamble, preamble, preamble.
	Let's see here. What do we got?
	Am I having a great day?
	I am having a great day.
	We have new ducks, and it's our third round of ducks.
	We cycle them out, right, so they get older, and we return them to a flock in Farm Friend we have.
	These two new ones are super cute.
	Unbelievably cute. And very, very strong characters.
	So, yes, everything is going just swimmingly.
	Just swimmingly.
	And yeah, we'll do a voice thing here.
	I'm trying to get all the tech up and running here so we can do voice chats and calls.
	And I can do my Lobot impersonation from Star Wars or my Princess Leia interpretation from Star Wars.
	Hello, my lovely friends.
	Hello. Hello.
	I'm not sure how you're able to talk because everyone's muted, but nonetheless, let's get into it.
	I know it's the middle of the day for some of you, but again, I wanted to give this a try.
	A test run. European listeners generally are the guinea pigs, as they are for a lot of things, sadly, in society.
	Alright, let's see here.
	Alright, please to raise your hand if you have a question or a comment that you would like to...
	That you would like to ask?
	Run through. Oh, there we go.
	All right. Hi, everybody.
	Stefan Molyneux from Freedom, Maine.
	Hope you're doing well. Good afternoon.
	How are you? How was my day?
	My day is wonderful.
	Thank you very much. I'm having a great day.
	We have new ducks and we have one...
	That is, well, it's our first run with two different species, so one of them is completely chaotic.
	It's like cocaine duck, just like climbing all over you, completely hysterical.
	It's a blast. And the other one is, the other one's kind of neat, right?
	So what you do with the other one is, it will try and insert its beak in between your fingers, and that's how it falls asleep, and you're just stuck with a duck beak finger situation for a while, so...
	It's kind of cute. All right.
	Let me just start this recording.
	We have so many different recordings.
	All right. So continue.
	What do we got here Wednesday?
	All right. So you guys can hear me all right?
	Here. Okay.
	Yes. Yeah. Okay.
	Good. Thanks. Okay.
	Good. So just do a hand raise if you want to...
	If you want to have a question or a comment, I'm happy to do a topic myself, but I thought we could start with that.
	I have a question, but it doesn't give me the option to do a hand raise.
	It just says unmute or mute.
	Isn't that interesting? Well, all right.
	Okay, hang on. Let me start my recordings then, and we will get it on.
	Thanks. All right.
	It's all yours.
	The stage is yours, my friend.
	What's on your mind? How can I help?
	Okay. Thanks, Steph.
	So, you know, I've been listening to your show for a long time, and something keeps coming up in my mind with regards to finding a good woman.
	You know, I hear you talk a lot about finding a woman that's virtuous and focusing on virtue over appearance, for example.
	But I've also looked into, let's say, other sources that talk about certain things, kind of more skeptical about certain realities about the natures of men and women.
	And I've had a hard time reconciling certain things that I view as the pinnacle of virtue versus certain what some might consider realities about women like hypergamy, for example.
	And I guess just as an example of that, you know, I feel like in order to attract a quality woman, I have to Be holding myself to a certain standard at all times.
	And I see this in my relationships with women.
	I just got out of one, actually.
	I'll be my best self for a long period of time at the beginning, and then maybe something will happen in my life where I get distracted or I falter, and then that in turn affects how the woman I'm with will view me or...
	Or treat me.
	And so I'm like, well, if she's really loyal, you know, shouldn't she be able to look past that or, you know, like be a little more understanding?
	So I don't know if you can make a little bit more sense of that for me.
	I'd really appreciate it. Sure.
	Can you tell me a little bit about what happened with your relationship that just ended?
	How long you were going out for and all that?
	Yeah. So I guess...
	Basically, we started dating end of 2020.
	And we were not politically aligned at all, which I know is not the best idea.
	But at first, she seemed very...
	She seemed to be very submissive, I guess, to what I suggested.
	She would listen to what I had to say a lot.
	I shared a lot of things that went against her political ideology.
	And I know that there's kind of this thing where some people will pretend to, you know, be aligned with you and then switch.
	But I kind of saw the change come more as I showed more weakness.
	And basically, you know, we dated for six months or so.
	And then my mother, to be honest with you, wasn't a fan of her because, well, this is kind of awkward to share.
	But my mother doesn't...
	My mother has certain races, basically, that she wants me to date.
	That's just the plan.
	Sure, did you say certain races? Yeah.
	And, you know, my girlfriend at the time, she's, let's say, half brown.
	I won't say specifically what kind.
	And my mom just Which it didn't,
	like, directly say anything to my girlfriend about, like, oh, you know, she just started acting kind of, like, rude.
	And it kind of boiled into a big fight between me and my mom, and I basically, like, kicked my mom out.
	And then, like...
	My girlfriend, she was just, she almost, she blamed the whole situation on me and was just like, you know, wasn't very understanding of, you know, what I had just been through.
	And she kind of almost like, I guess to me it seemed very selfish of her in that moment.
	Sorry, you mean selfish of your mom?
	Well, I guess both of them.
	I kind of felt caught in between and I felt like even though I did the right thing of telling my mom to basically just leave because I didn't want to deal with her.
	I should say this.
	My girlfriend and I were not living together at the time.
	So it wasn't like my girlfriend was just constantly exposed to my mom acting a certain way.
	It was just one of the times she came over, it was like in the middle of a fight between me and my mom, and then my mom just kind of like didn't even say hi to her and just looked at her with kind of like disgust, basically, and just, yeah.
	And how old are you?
	Sorry, go ahead. How old are you?
	27. So why did you break up?
	I need a little bit less abstract description and a little bit more personal feeling.
	If you're talking about some idea in academics or engineering, abstract description is fine, but I'd like to actually contact the real you, like your heart, because we're talking about romance and love and heartache and breakup.
	And so, you do a lot of description that's kind of dissociating, and I just wanted to know, like, why did you break up?
	Who broke up with you? So, we broke up twice, actually.
	The first time we broke up, it was...
	It was actually fairly mutual.
	I... She didn't like certain things about me.
	Like, for example, that I didn't want to get vaccinated.
	Sorry, she didn't want to or you didn't want to?
	I didn't want to get vaccinated.
	And she wanted me to get vaccinated.
	And slowly, I saw her kind of go more towards...
	Other people's opinions are more important, as opposed to, this is who my boyfriend is, I really love him, and I don't really care what anybody else thinks.
	Okay, so hang on, sorry, sorry.
	So, were you able to establish and assume leadership in certain areas in the relationship?
	Were you able to have the division of labor?
	Yes. Yes, I was.
	Okay, but not in the area of, say, vaccination?
	That is correct. We actually got into an argument about it, and she literally admitted to me, like, in an almost disappointed way, that what I was saying was totally logical.
	Okay, so, I mean, if you're in a situation where a partner, whether it's a man or a woman, is saying, well, your argument is totally logical, then you have to say, then I should be the leader in this area, at least for myself, right?
	Now, women, of course, will be leaders in other areas, but you have to have leadership that is...
	Allowed in some area, right?
	Like, when I go to the dentist, the dentist is in charge of my teeth.
	I'm not in charge of my teeth.
	I just do what the dentist says, right?
	When I go to an accountant, the accountant is in charge of my accounting.
	And so... But, you know, in terms of philosophy and in these conversations, I'll tend to take more of a leadership position.
	So that's my question, is that were you able to establish...
	Because trust in a relationship is allowing somebody else to take the lead, allowing somebody else to tell you what to do and just saying, okay, this person has my best interests at heart.
	They know more than I know about a certain particular topic.
	I'm not going to pretend that I'm going to be able to learn everything like I don't do my own dentistry because it takes years to learn how to become a dentist, right?
	And you need to be able to look deep inside your own mouth, which I can't do, right?
	So... So, that's trust in a relationship.
	And you really do have to work pretty early on to establish trust in a relationship.
	And we've really lost that habit as a whole in our society.
	We've lost the habit of saying, okay, my wife or my girlfriend knows more about this stuff than I do, so I will defer to her.
	Now, if you think she's not got good judgment and you're not willing to defer to her, then you don't trust her.
	And if you don't trust her, you can't really have a relationship with her.
	In the same way, if she recognizes maybe you've read a lot more about the vaccines or some other topic and you've got your arguments, your charts, your evidence, your data, right?
	And maybe she can then say, okay, you know more about this than I do.
	So if she's already got vaccinated, she's already got vaccinated.
	But with regards to you, that would be something where you would have authority.
	Now, you've got to start pretty early on in a relationship.
	Establishing authority in the areas you know stuff about.
	You know, there's stuff my wife knows infinitely more about than I do.
	And so she takes the charge and she takes the lead and I trust her.
	There's stuff that I know more about than my wife.
	So in those areas, I take the lead and I take the charge, right?
	I'm in charge. Sorry, go ahead.
	Oh, I was just going to say, this is kind of an interesting situation because I'm an engineer and she's a veterinarian.
	So she's kind of like more, you know, studied in medical sciences, right?
	But the thing is, like...
	It almost wasn't an issue of expertise.
	It became an issue of just using reason and analyzing the situation.
	And so I actually used a lot of other examples in medical science that she already knows and agrees with.
	So she couldn't disagree with me anymore.
	And by the way, that argument was like far before we broke up.
	So she kind of acknowledged the fact that I wasn't going to get the vaccine, but it was obvious that it just bothered her for a good while, like let's say six months before we actually ended up breaking up.
	Okay. And what bothered her about it?
	I think number one was the social perception.
	Because, like I was saying, all of her friends, her family, they're all liberal.
	I live in a liberal state, let's just say.
	And... They're just all liberal, so she kind of gets embarrassed about dating a guy who is not vaccinated when all of her friends are...
	And it wasn't like that when we first started dating.
	I established right off the bat that...
	I'm a libertarian, that I believe in gun rights, that I don't believe in a lot of the media sensationalism with regards to some of these police shootings.
	I mean, the list goes on, right?
	I mean, with regards to economics, I don't believe in...
	No, I understand what libertarians are.
	You don't need to explain that to me.
	Okay, so were you able to establish leadership positions in these areas?
	And look, a leadership position doesn't mean that she has to believe everything you believe.
	Of course not, right? A leadership position is, I've studied this stuff really extensively.
	I have really good arguments behind what it is that I'm saying.
	And if you can't rebut or reject those arguments, then you need to accept them.
	It's not obedience to you.
	It's obedience to reason and evidence, right?
	She's a scientist. She's a veterinarian.
	She knows that kind of stuff.
	Now, of course, if she's not willing to submit to reason and evidence, then you can't have a relationship with her.
	And I don't mean like you're forbidden from having a relationship.
	You can't have a relationship with anyone who rejects reason and evidence.
	Or in the areas they do reject reason and evidence in, you can't have a relationship with them in those areas.
	Because it's just an animalistic, mammalian-based, conformity-based, peer pressure, family-based will-to-power.
	There's no relationship.
	Because the only way that we meet in reality is through language, through reason, through evidence, through facts.
	That's the only overlap we have.
	You can no more share a relationship with someone who rejects reason and evidence than you can share your dreams with them at night because your dreams are purely subjective and there's no empirical or universal measure by which you can transfer your dreams to someone else or have them participate in your dreams, you know, multiplayer style.
	That doesn't happen.
	That doesn't work. So in an area where reason and evidence doesn't hold sway, You are not related.
	This is why philosophy is the ultimate connector for human beings.
	It's the only way that we can actually have relationships, whether you do it formally or informally.
	That's where we overlap.
	Reality is the only place we can meet.
	We can't meet in fantasy. We can't meet in conformity.
	We can't meet in anxiety. We can't meet in fear.
	We can't meet in subjectivity or relativism.
	We can only meet in reality, right?
	Like, I mean, if a woman said, I want to go on a date with you, but I'm only going to meet you in my mind, you'd say, well, that's not a date.
	To have a date, we actually have to be in the same place at the same time.
	We have to be at a coffee shop or a dinner or Cirque du Soleil or something.
	So, you have to have...
	Reason and evidence. And if somebody rejects reason and evidence, you say...
	We can't have a relationship if we don't have reason and evidence, because if we don't have reason and evidence, we can't have trust.
	We can't have the division of labor.
	We can't have both of us being experts and having the other person defer to us based upon our track record of reason and evidence.
	We simply can't have a relationship.
	It would be like somebody saying, I want to get married to you, and I also want to move to a research station in the Antarctic for the next 10 years.
	It's like, well, that's not a marriage, assuming you're not going, right?
	And so this conversation, I think it's a real shame that people don't get this.
	Like, I don't know if you had this conversation with her.
	You said, look, we can't have a relationship if we don't have reason and evidence.
	We can't in any way, shape or form.
	Because maybe she didn't know the stakes of what was going on.
	Sorry, go ahead. Okay, so just a couple quick examples.
	Basically, on our first date, I laid out this whole kind of theory that I'm into right now relating thermodynamics to economics, trying to find some objectivity in economics.
	And she seemed very interested.
	We talked about it a lot.
	A few months into dating, we would work out together.
	And during our workouts, I'd play Peter Schiff podcasts.
	And she seemed very interested in everything.
	And then, you know, as we got into more of these discussions, or let's say almost like debates or disagreements, I did kind of present to her what you're talking about, where I said, look, like...
	I'm really, really into economics.
	I've studied it for a really long time on my own.
	I've put hours and hours of my time into it.
	Imagine if I came to you about something that you've studied for hours upon hours and I just told you, no, I disagree with you.
	Or you're wrong. Right, exactly.
	I don't know anything about, let's say, makeup or certain aspects of veterinary science, like what a dog needs exactly, like the specific nutrition that a dog needs.
	Hang on.
	So did she talk to you a lot about things that she was interested in that you weren't as interested in?
	Yeah, I would ask her a lot about her day.
	So that would lead into her discussing what's going on with her vet school stuff.
	And she would go into a lot of detail about the surgery that she was doing that day.
	And I always just felt like...
	Sorry, but there wouldn't be any demand for you to conform to her beliefs or perspectives with regards to her job, right?
	There wouldn't be a demand for me to conform with her.
	No, of course, right. So when you play her the Peter Schiff podcast, it's like, well, you have to know this, you have to understand this, and we have to agree.
	But when she was talking about her job, she wasn't sitting there saying, I need to train you on how to be a veterinarian so we can have conversations about being a veterinarian.
	Okay, that's true, yeah.
	So I guess I'm just a little curious why you were trying to turn her into a dude.
	Yeah. I mean, you have male friends.
	You can talk about these abstract economic thermodynamic, but I've got to tell you, I imagine the number of women who are interested in deep-dive abstract thermodynamic relationships of the objectivity of economics, I don't think those women exist, really, in any functional or fundamental way.
	So, you know, what I would suggest, one of the things that happens when someone gets into a relationship, and this is particularly going out to my sausage fest brothers here, all right?
	Sure. You have your male friends.
	And you have your girlfriend.
	They have to be different or you're bisexual.
	Right? There's stuff that you're going to go into with your male friends and there's stuff like, okay, do you ever have, do you ever be in a relationship with a woman and she's like, I want to go to the craft store and just browse around for two hours, right?
	Okay. All right, would you go?
	No. Why not?
	She's really interested in crafts and she wants to browse around for two hours looking at beads and she wants to look at wool and maybe think about a couple of picture reframings and, you know, she'd like to talk to them.
	Like, don't you want to go with her to the craft store for a couple hours?
	No. Why not?
	If you loved her, wouldn't you go and be really interested in her crafts and agree with her about her...
	What? Okay, so...
	But, like, okay, I guess...
	There are people, like, women out there that are more ideologically aligned with me.
	So I guess, I know that it's more typical for, like, women to be more on the left, men to be more on the right.
	No, no, I'm not talking, hang on, I'm not talking about left-right.
	And yes, that is true for sure, but I'm not talking about left-right stuff.
	I mean, I had a girlfriend many years ago who would just want to sit down and talk to me about, you know, things she'd learned about women that she went to school with and this and that and the other.
	And I would say, no, that's why God gave you girlfriends.
	I'm not doing that.
	Like, I'm sorry, I'm a dude and I'm not, you know, you can't turn me into one of your gossipy girlfriends.
	Like, it's not going to happen.
	I've got to be straight up frank with you.
	I'm just not that interested. And so, you know, and if, you know, if she wanted to go to a craft store for two hours, I'd be like, yeah.
	Enjoy yourself, right?
	That's the division of labor.
	Men and women in general are interested in different things.
	And there's nothing wrong with you telling her about your theories of thermodynamic objectivity and economics or whatever it is.
	It's fine. But expecting her to become like you, it's kind of narcissistic.
	You've got to enjoy women for who they are.
	The delightful incomprehensibility of women.
	You know... Have you ever, let me ask you this, right?
	If you want to understand the difference. Have you ever looked at your kitchen and said, you know what would make me happy?
	A whole new kitchen.
	Not moving, but a whole, you've looked at your kitchen and said, I would just love to rip all of this stuff out and have a whole new kitchen put in for $50,000 and three months of dust.
	Well, I wouldn't necessarily want to pay for it, but I have thought these cabinets look like crap and the counters do too.
	Okay, have you ever done anything about it?
	Sorry? Have you ever done anything about it?
	No. Okay, because you're a guy.
	And the guy is like, does it work?
	Yeah, okay. Then I'll live with it.
	Could the kitchen cabinets be prettier?
	Yeah. Am I going to do anything about it?
	No. Why? Because they work.
	They open and they close.
	And that's guys. Now, I mean, if there's a new Bluetooth subwoofer speaker out that gives you 1% better sound in a Commando film, yeah, maybe you'll be interested in that.
	But, okay, let me ask you this.
	Have you ever bought soaps in the shape of shells?
	No. How many pillows do you have on your bed when you're single?
	Two. Right.
	How many beds do you have when there's a woman in you?
	How many pillars do you have on your bed when there's a woman in the house?
	A lot more. A lot more, yeah.
	I mean, basically, you need a forklift truck to move them out of the way so you can get into your bed, right?
	Yeah. Can you tell the difference between subtle shades of lipstick?
	No, not subtle ones, no.
	Right. How many times have you been corrected by a woman for mistaking a skirt for a dress?
	Oh, that woman's wearing a lovely skirt.
	No, no, no. That's a dress.
	That one I don't really remember, but yeah.
	Do you know what a chemise is?
	I get what you're saying. Do you know what a chemise is?
	No. Do you enjoy window shopping?
	In other words, you don't have the money or desire to buy anything.
	You just want to go and look at stuff.
	Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
	Right. Right. Right.
	Do you, do you, when you're changing channels on the television, are you able physically to flip past the image of a woman crying?
	Yes. All right.
	Women are not. Yeah, she was very into watching The Bachelor.
	When you are single, how many towels do you have?
	One. When you are in a relationship with a woman who's moved in, do they reproduce like mitochondria?
	And do you think you're going to go into the bathroom at three o'clock in the fucking morning and the towel is going to be performing some sort of mitosis and splitting into new towels that then grow into full length and then sprout different colors?
	Yeah, I didn't even know how she found my towels.
	Anyway, well...
	When you're single, do your towels bend?
	Why should I ever wash my towel?
	I am only using it when I get out of the shower.
	I have the cleanest thing around. So, like, okay, I definitely accept...
	Oh, are there towels you're not allowed to use?
	Or do you have soaps that are still in a plastic wrapper?
	That you're just not allowed to use.
	I remember being at a girlfriend's place many, many years ago.
	I was in my 20s. And I spilled a bit of coffee when I was pouring it.
	And I just grabbed a paper towel from over the sink and I wiped up the coffee and I turned around, threw it in the garbage, turned around.
	The whole family was looking at me like...
	And I'm like...
	I spilled, but I tidied it up.
	No, no, no. Those are the fancy paper towels.
	You're not supposed to use those.
	Those come from Wegmans in the States, which is her favorite place.
	It's her favorite paper towels, and she keeps them there as a memory for when they lived in America and life was so much better.
	Oh, my God.
	Wow. Yeah.
	It's pretty wild.
	When you're a single man...
	Do you put special spray on the couches to resist stains?
	No. Right.
	If you're married, that's basically the first thing you do.
	Like, you have to just, okay, before you take off the wedding dress, we need to spray all this furniture so it resists stains.
	I didn't even know that was a thing.
	Well, it's because you're not married yet, right?
	Yeah. Let me, I'm sure everyone out there has these things.
	And I say this with great affection to women.
	I really do. I think it's absolutely wonderful.
	Absolutely wonderful.
	Have you ever wondered about the danger of everyday items?
	Like, for instance, have you ever looked, have you ever said, oh my gosh, I wonder if this sunscreen is carcinogenic?
	Actually, it's funny you say that, because I just got a dog like a year ago, and that was the first time I started actually thinking about those things.
	Right. But, yeah.
	Right. No, it's remarkable.
	Okay, here's the other fundamental thing.
	When you're a single man, do you make the bed?
	No. Right. When a woman sleeps over or if you start living with a woman or you get married, is the bed made?
	Yeah. Right.
	Do you know why the bed is made?
	I don't see the logic in it, to be honest with you.
	Yeah, and nobody knows.
	Like, it's not a failure of you or a failure of me.
	No human being knows why the bed is made.
	There are theories, and people have gone genuinely insane trying to figure out why the bed is made.
	Because, of course, as you point out, you just get back into the same bed every night and just drape the covers over you.
	So some of the theories as to why the bed gets made is, first of all, you never know when a highly critical dead great-grandmother might come back to life zombie-style, crawl up the stairs, leaving parts of her body behind, and then scold her for not having the bed made.
	There's another theory, which I think is more realistic, which says that The reason why you make the bed as a woman is because otherwise the covers will generally drift further and further over to the man's side because he turns and takes the covers with him.
	So it's your only chance to actually get the covers done.
	And so, yeah, nobody knows.
	I'm not sure that women know or if they do know, they're keeping it a deadly secret from men.
	Nobody knows whatsoever.
	But I will tell you this.
	I will tell you this for sure.
	It's really nice. It's really nice.
	It's really nice that my wife makes the bed.
	And I've tried to be a good husband and make the bed.
	And she's like, no, don't.
	Don't do it. Right?
	Let me ask you this.
	If a woman is doing something in your house, some tidying, some cleaning, some whatever, right?
	Have you ever stopped her and told her that she's doing it wrong?
	No. Right. Now, of course, if you are a man, you're in a relationship, you're living with a woman, you're married, hit me with a why in the chat window.
	If you've ever tried to be helpful around the house, you try to be helpful around the house, so what you do, of course, is you say, oh, I'll sort this, I'll clean that, I'll fold this, I'll do something, and for some completely mysterious, incomprehensible reason, you're doing it wrong.
	And when it's explained to you why you're doing it wrong and what's wrong about it, it might as well be in Klingon.
	But there is some mysterious reason that you're doing it wrong that is going to be somehow inefficient down the road in some manner for the woman.
	Yeah, please. Oh, filling the dishwasher.
	We've resolved all of this in my household.
	But yeah, filling the dishwasher is like the source of more divorces than...
	The cast of Baywatch, right?
	So, yeah, I mean, somehow, somehow, you're just, you're filling the dishwasher wrong.
	How much, like to me, why on earth would you have a dishwasher but need to rinse your dishes?
	That makes absolutely no sense to me.
	If you have a dishwasher, the whole point of having a dishwasher is you shouldn't have to rinse your dishes, but apparently not.
	Apparently the planet is going to die from water usage because you have to rinse your dishes.
	Why do you have to wash cans before you put them in recycling?
	Isn't the whole point of recycling to save resources and washing cans doesn't really do that.
	So, you just have to roll with it.
	You just have to roll with it.
	Have you ever had the...
	If you're living with a woman or you're with a woman, if she's doing something on the computer, have you ever had the urge to tell her how to do it more efficiently?
	No. No?
	Okay. Well, that's one of my particular bugaboos.
	It's like, you know, there's a keyboard shortcut for that.
	I don't care. No, I don't care.
	See, if you're doing something wrong, you're being inefficient and you need to be corrected.
	But if the woman is doing something wrong on the computer or something that's inefficient, correcting her is just going to confuse her and it's a bad idea.
	Okay, yeah, I see that in a general sense.
	I've never really watched...
	Well, when you live with a woman, what they will do is they will look at the keyboard, they will look at the screen, they will choose their key, they will hit the key, they will look at the screen again, and it's going to take them, you know, about six months to fill out an application online.
	And they will then take their passwords and put them on post-it notes by the computer, which of course I don't allow anymore.
	That's something I just had to...
	Oh yeah, no, it's like trying to teach a woman alt-tab is like trying to teach her to have an erection.
	It seems to be completely impossible because alt-tab is how you switch between things, right?
	Asking a woman to close a tab on a browser apparently turns her into some sort of feral monkey because she's like, wow, my computer seems to be going very slowly.
	It's like, well... Because you have 4,000 tabs open and you basically have a history going back to when you first started using the internet.
	It's just the way it goes.
	You can't close tabs. Absolutely impossible.
	Right. How about this?
	How about you take things in the kitchen which nobody uses and hasn't used for years and you say, let's throw it out.
	I mean, for a man going to a woman and saying, let's throw out this thing which we haven't used for a while, it's the equivalent of a woman coming to a man and saying, hey, I went through your toolbox, there's a bunch of tools we haven't used for a while, I'm just going to toss them out.
	doesn't doesn't work right also there is a thing as well and it is a a way that women slowly chip away at a man's mental stability and it's something that you need to harden yourself against you when you live with a woman every fucking thing you put down will be put someplace more efficient that you can't find that's an absolute guarantee because there's a system in the household that you're never part of that you don't understand in any way shape or form so you put something down thinking
	oh i'll need this later today foolishly forgetting that it's going to be swept up into this system and it's going to put be put in the third shelf in some upstairs cupboard because that's part of the system Now, you can't ever know what that system is.
	And if you ever say, please stop moving my stuff, I had a girlfriend, her name wasn't Heidi, but I referred to her as Heidi.
	Because you see, if you're putting something down where you can find it again, that's unbelievably inefficient as a man.
	So what you need to do is you put something down, your wife will move it, and hopefully she's home when you need it.
	Hopefully she's home when you need it.
	And then after she's moved something that you desperately need, she will be unbelievably surprised that you can't find it.
	It's like, well no, it's where it should be.
	It's in its place. It's like, no, no, we just got this.
	We just bought this today. How could there possibly be a place for something I just ordered?
	It's like it's in a general category of placeness.
	Haven't you figured this stuff out yet?
	Yes, it is.
	And listen, you got to just, I love this stuff.
	I love this stuff. Because the other thing too, I mean, this is something completely bizarre to me.
	And this is a very, it's a very cliche.
	So this is pretty obvious, right?
	I've given up looking for things in my house to the point where it can literally be right in front of me.
	I'm just going to ask my wife.
	If it's not currently in my hand, I don't care if my wife is like five miles away.
	I will walk to my wife and I will say, where is this thing?
	Now, she has her complaints because she can look and say, well, it's right in front of you.
	And I would be like, well, no, it can't be right in front of me because that's not the place where it's supposed to be.
	That's not part of the system. It hasn't been swept up in the machinery of efficiency called Steph can't find anything, including his own nose.
	So, yeah, it's...
	Now, but to my wife's credit as well, I can literally be standing in front of the fridge, there could be a giant jug of milk, like, just almost touching my nose, and I'd be like, are we out of milk?
	Do we have milk? Can't find the milk.
	Where's the milk? And my wife will literally, like, move my head forward a millimeter.
	My face will touch the milk.
	And I said, well, I can feel something cold, but I still don't know where the milk is.
	I assume it's someplace in an upstairs cupboard or something like that where it's efficiency, right?
	So, you know, but on the other hand, my wife lets me buy lots of extra stuff that she doesn't understand.
	Why do you need another headphone?
	And she's actually generally scared that I will actually try to explain it to her because she's like, you know what, if you need a headphone, just get the headphone.
	Steph, you're just reinforcing toxic gender norms.
	No, see, it's not toxic at all.
	I love this about women.
	I really... I think it's wonderful, this...
	They are the anti-entropy machines.
	So for men, we focus like a laser on something and everything else can completely fall apart.
	You know, if we're working on installing...
	A toilet seat? I just did this the other day.
	I'd get a new toilet seat and install it, right?
	So if we're focused on installing a new toilet seat, we're so focused on that, a literal fucking hurricane or tornado could rip the entire house out from around us, and we wouldn't notice until we'd finished our particular job.
	Like, everything goes completely by the wayside when a man is focused on something.
	And, you know, for women, right, if the man is doing something, concentrating on something, you literally can...
	Take your top off and you can shake your butt-fluss bikini G-string and you can do a strip of pole dance like three feet from him and he won't notice a damn thing until he's done.
	And there's this kind of meme of girls walking in or women walking in naked when their boyfriends or husbands are playing video games.
	And it's like, nope, can't see.
	For a woman, if a man's concentrating, you can literally stand there and say, honey, honey, Steph, honey, honey, Steph, Steph.
	Like for five minutes, won't hear a thing.
	Won't hear a thing. Literally won't.
	And it's not even like I'm hearing it and ignoring it.
	It's just men are laser focused.
	And that's a beautiful thing when you need the laser.
	But you can't navigate a dark wood with a laser.
	You can burn through stuff if you need to.
	And so for women, it's incredibly frustrating because a woman is generally hyperventilent to her entire surroundings because she needs to hear the sound of a child falling in a creek three miles away, right?
	So she's constantly scanning the environment, whereas men are just like, I am now removing all external stimuli and getting tunnel vision three inches across to complete the task.
	I will complete the task.
	I will notice nothing. I will feel nothing.
	I literally could have a bowel movement while I'm putting in this toilet seat, and I will not notice until I'm done.
	And then I'm like, oh, I should have used that toilet seat.
	So for women, there's this frustration of like, well, didn't you hear me calling?
	It's like, I physically did not.
	Because all external stimuli get shut down when I'm in mission mode.
	When I am trying to complete a task, You could saw my leg off and I'd be like, I felt a twinge.
	I think I felt a twinge back there.
	But that's about it. I could literally bleed out and not notice it because as long as I finish putting the toilet seat in before I bleed out, I will die a happy man.
	So, yeah, it's strange.
	Yeah, I mean, it is kind of like when I go to a girl's place, it's almost always just...
	It's not even... I can't even call it clean.
	It's like beyond clean.
	It feels like a sort of heaven, almost like you're being hypnotized by things you don't even notice, like some Illuminati black magic in a movie or TV show.
	Yeah, and if you ever want to really make your woman twitch, do some sweeping and literally sweep it under the rug.
	She would be like, scream.
	Like, you've just assaulted her with masculinity.
	That's pretty...
	Yeah, that's pretty wild stuff.
	And here's the thing, too.
	So a man can clean to the point where it's like, yeah, I'd eat off this.
	But then, of course, what will happen is a woman will say, no, it's not clean.
	And she will literally wipe it, and because of female voodoo witch magic, it will suddenly be cleaner.
	Like, I will literally clean something...
	For like five minutes, and then my wife will come in, give it a wipe, and it's like, that is cleaner, but I don't have your voodoo.
	I have testosterone, which apparently just makes everything dingy, but estrogen is just like a window wipe.
	It's just beautiful. I don't let my hubby clean my bathroom.
	He won't do it to my standards.
	Oh, yeah. Yeah.
	Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this.
	Do you shower or do you take a bath?
	Shower. Okay. So, did you know, are you aware...
	That there is a spray that you can spray in your shower after you've showered, which will prevent, I don't know, something like mildew or mold or something like that.
	No. Do you know that there is such a thing?
	I mean, it makes sense, but I'm not aware.
	Right. So there is such a thing, and when you get married, you will find these things.
	Okay. How many bottles of cleaning equipment or stuff do you have in your house when you're single or you're in your apartment?
	Maybe like five.
	And what do you have? I mean, I have some Windex.
	I have like the angled bleach bottle thing for like, you know, getting under the toilet seat area.
	Um... I have a bottle of bleach just for washing the sink and stuff.
	I have a thing for when the dog pees on the carpet.
	So you have a couple of things, and how often do you buy new ones?
	Oh god, I couldn't tell you.
	Like once a year, once every two years, right?
	Yeah. I mean, do you know that if you have a Brita filter in your fridge, a woman will know not only that the filter needs to be replaced, but she will be able to tell you when it was last replaced.
	And she will know to replace it every three months.
	For me, it's like as long as I can shake the water out, I'm good.
	That when I was single, right?
	But now it's just like, bing!
	And this is beautiful, man.
	It's beautiful. Like, you pull open the drawers, bing!
	It's just beautiful stuff in there, you know, fluffy.
	You know, when I did my own laundry, like, everything was just kind of stiff, like I had armadillo skin that was just itchy.
	Everything was just kind of stiff, because you just, you know, throw a bunch of stuff in, and yeah, it seems clean, right?
	Now it's just like I'm walking on clouds, and everything's beautiful, and everything's so nice, and...
	Oh, yeah. No, it's wild.
	It's wild. And... A woman will know the cycle of a household, you know, the filters that need to be replaced.
	Did you know that ducts, D-U-C-T-S, that ducts need to be cleaned?
	Actually, my dad told me about that when I was a kid.
	Beautiful. Now, I don't know if you have them in your own place, but do you ever clean them?
	No. No, like my wife will wake up one morning...
	And like, bing! We need to get the ducks cleaned.
	I'm like, when did we last get them cleaned?
	She's like, well, it's been two years, so we need to get the ducks cleaned.
	I'm like, how do you know that?
	And she's like, I don't know.
	It just pops into my head.
	And you've got to love it.
	They need to be cleaned because the guy who cleans them says they have to be cleaned.
	Well, I think it's a little bit more than that.
	But no, it's amazing.
	Let me ask you this last thing because I know we can talk about this all day.
	How good are you remembering the birthdays of the people in your life?
	Pretty terrible. Yeah, it's really terrible.
	Absolutely terrible. Absolutely terrible, right?
	So what happens is you get together with your male friend and he says, blah, blah, blah, blah, oh yeah, so I went out for my birthday last month, and you're like, oh man, happy birthday, right?
	Right. Whereas if you have a woman in your life, I mean, birthdays is just the beginning.
	Birthdays is just the tip of the iceberg, man.
	Because she will know anniversaries.
	She will know birthdays.
	She will know anniversaries of first dates of people you know.
	She will know all of their children's birthdays.
	She will know second cousin's graduation dates.
	Like she will just like a steel trap in her brain.
	She will just have all of this stuff going on in her brain.
	And for me, it's like I barely remember my own birthday.
	But she's like got it all going on.
	She's got it all going down.
	And it's really nice.
	It's really nice. It's a beautiful thing that, uh, women do.
	So, yeah, no, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's wonderful.
	So, yeah, I mean, please, please don't try and turn a woman into a man.
	And men don't try and, and women don't try and turn men into women.
	You know, viva la difference, right?
	So, I totally, I, I agree with you.
	Um, and, you know, I get what, I get the, the criticism for sure.
	Um, and, I guess so, then my next question is, uh, Like, one virtue that I look for in people in general is, you know, the appreciation for reason and evidence.
	So if I, you know, present reason and evidence for, let's say, a particular belief, and that person does not acknowledge that belief or, you know, just... I guess...
	This is going to sound a little sexist, but my experience with women, so this is just my personal experience.
	I realize that it's anecdotal.
	Kind of makes me feel like women are not always, like, super caring about reason and evidence.
	And there's just, like, a lot of emotion.
	And then it's like they'll, you know, follow you when you're showing strong leadership, and they'll just kind of, like, start disagreeing with you when you don't show strong leadership.
	Listen, you can make generalities about women because women make generalities about women.
	If you look at, I mean, okay, you studied engineering, right?
	So how many women were in your engineering class as a percentage of the total students?
	Well, I was in chemical engineering, and that just has a much larger percentage of women.
	But yes, it's an exception.
	Okay, so what percentage?
	Was it 20%, 30%?
	What percentage of women? Oh, it was almost like half.
	Okay. Have you kept track of any of the women you went to engineering with, assuming they graduated?
	Have they actually done chemical engineering and kept up with it?
	So... Like, that's kind of a complex answer.
	I'm trying to get more to your point than the specific question you asked.
	Yes, a lot of them are working as engineers.
	Good. Okay. I mean, I've known a bunch of engineers and not one of them is actually doing engineering like 20 years after they graduated.
	But for the most part, women will generally go into people-centric occupations and men will go into thing or abstract-centric occupations.
	And again, tons of exceptions and all of that.
	But there is definitely that trend.
	It's one of the things that explains the fabled pay gap, right?
	Sure, sure. Yeah, for sure, for sure.
	So, yeah, there's nothing wrong with generalizing, and of course, there's no possibility, no possibility if you believe in evolution, right?
	There's zero possibility that given the different evolutionary pressures on men and women, that we would have evolved to be exactly the same.
	Right. You would have to completely reject the theory of evolution.
	Right. Right. Well, we know physically, right? Men and women are different.
	But that would be to say that despite vastly different evolutionary pressures, men's brains and bodies and emotional apparatus all ended up exactly the same as women, which would be scientifically impossible.
	So I think the challenge, of course, is to love and appreciate the difference rather than say, a woman has to conform to masculine values and virtues, right?
	And if she doesn't, then there's something wrong with her, because then you're basically saying a woman needs to be like a man.
	I'm straight, I like women, but women need to be like men, which is contradictory, right?
	Oh, yes, for sure.
	Okay, I'm glad you're saying that, because I almost feel sometimes like I'm abandoning my virtue by...
	God, what's the word?
	No, I get it.
	If you can't get the woman to be like you, then somehow your virtues are being diminished or you're betraying your virtues or whatever it is, right?
	Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, in Atlas Shrugged, like the...
	And I know, like, I shouldn't just...
	Like, Ayn Rand didn't have the best love life, obviously, so...
	She had it pretty good for her, just not so much for everyone around her when she had the affair with Nathaniel Brandon, right?
	Yeah, and she didn't have any kids, and, you know, so...
	But it's like, you know, like, for example, for her, it was like...
	You need to go for that person who, you know, is like the most virtuous person in that objectively virtuous way, regardless of whether they're a man or a woman.
	Well, she didn't even live that way.
	Like her husband, Frank O'Connor, I mean, she met him on a film set because he was an extra and he was just a super handsome guy.
	I didn't know that.
	He didn't really achieve anything in his life.
	He failed as an actor.
	He did a little painting later on in his life, but he basically just lived off his wife and didn't really do much with his life.
	But he was very handsome.
	Obviously, he had some charisma and he had some intelligence and so on, right?
	But she didn't choose Howard Rourke.
	She didn't choose... She didn't choose Nathaniel Brandon to marry, right?
	She didn't choose... I mean, she basically went with, like, this guy's super good-looking and he looks exactly like one of my heroes in my books, but he didn't really achieve anything with his life.
	And later on, I think he really understood this, right?
	I mean, just sort of based upon the anecdotal evidence later on in their marriage, that he really did feel like, I've wasted my life.
	I just watched somebody write...
	And brought her coffee and cigarettes and I didn't actually achieve anything under my own steam and that's why sort of later in life he desperately tried to start painting but it was very much about like if you've read The Fountainhead it was very much like Peter Keating later on in the book where it's like no it's too late right it's too late so No, it was pretty tragic.
	He didn't become a father.
	He didn't have a career.
	He didn't really make any money.
	He didn't have any particular hobbies.
	He was just there, like a shadow or something like that.
	Wow. That's the way it played out as far as what I've read.
	Okay, so then, you know, like I read in a book recently that, you know, like a lot of guys will complain, for example, that their girlfriend or their wife lied because she said that she's, you know, down to do something and then, like, later on she just changes her mind or whatever.
	And, you know, the book says that Your woman isn't lying to you.
	It's that she's just saying how she feels in the moment.
	And it's not the same as for a man where you give your word and you hold to your word regardless of how you feel about it.
	I guess I kind of wanted to get your opinion on this sort of divide between nature and what Is typically seen as virtue or, you know, certain things like, you know, keeping to your word or direct honesty.
	And maybe, yeah, maybe a lot of these are just more like masculine virtues.
	So I'm a little confused on that.
	Okay. So, I mean, you have to look at the reason and evidence of what women are doing.
	And the reason and evidence of what women are doing is very different from the reason and evidence of what men are doing.
	Right? So I'll touch on this briefly in a show.
	I don't think I even published it.
	So I'll just touch on it even more briefly here.
	So... For women, equality of outcome is essential for the survival of the species.
	Whereas for men, inequality of outcome is essential for survival of the species.
	So if you're a man, and you're with another group of men, and one of you is a really great archer and can, you know, dead-eye take down a doe from 100 yards...
	You give that guy the most arrows because he's going to get you the most meat from the most arrows.
	So keeping arrows away from the bad shooters is essential for the survival, right?
	So property rights are invented to exclude incompetent people from running property, from having property.
	Property rights are invented to keep incompetent people away from the management of scarce and precious resources.
	Property rights are invented in land so that the people who can produce the most end up owning the most.
	And if their kids are not able to produce the most then somebody else's kids are going to buy up the land, right?
	So property rights are essential for the flourishing of society because property rights says no you can't have The arrows.
	No, you can't have the land.
	And also, no, you can't have the woman, the women, right?
	Because you may be incompetent, you may be too insecure, like there could be any number of things, right?
	So for men, property rights and excluding people from the use of scarce resources is absolutely essential.
	And that's really why those property rights exist.
	Sure. And you need to dig something,
	you give him the shovel. You don't give the shovel to the 98-pound weakling because he's barely going to make a dent in the ground.
	You give the shovel to the biggest, strongest guy so you can get the most digging done because that's essential, right?
	If you've got a clear land, you give the axe to the guy with the biggest, broadest shoulders and the strongest arms.
	You don't give the axe to the tiny little nebbish guy who may be good at, I don't know, gathering, but is not really good at that sort of strength stuff, right?
	So for men, property rights and the exclusion of property to incompetent people or keeping property away from incompetent people is absolutely essential, which is why men tend to denigrate others, which is why men tend to trash talk others just to see if somebody can handle it, right? Because if you can't handle trash talking, you're not going to be any good.
	Right.
	Right. Right. Right.
	Right. If the microphone was shared equally,
	there would be no concert. Every time you go and see a sport, you go and see a basketball game, the court is private property.
	And keeping all of the bad basketball players off that private property is the only reason that anyone's there at all, because you want to see excellence.
	You don't want to see incompetence, right?
	So you look at everything.
	Everything in the world where there's excellence is based upon relentlessly taking resources away from less competent people.
	Take the microphone away from the people who are less good at singing and songwriting and performing.
	Take the football away from the people who are less good at football.
	Take the basketball court away from the people who are less good at basketball.
	And it's just this relentless sorting mechanism to produce excellence all the time, all the time, all the time.
	It's radio waves. Back in the day when you used to have radio, there are lots of people who write really crappy, boring songs.
	Ike Turner was recording some album and Tina Turner said, ah, these songs all just sound kind of the same.
	Yeah, they kind of do. The only good song he ever recorded, post-Tina Turner, was a cover of Catfish Blues on one of his last albums.
	But anyway, it's a topic. So, just keeping people off the airwaves who aren't very good at songwriting and singing, at least, who aren't very popular.
	So, modeling is all about keeping non-beautiful people away from the camera.
	That's all it is.
	It's all it's about.
	This is a relentless sorting mechanism where you say, nope, you're not pretty enough.
	Nope, your teeth are too crooked.
	Nope, your one eye is bigger than the other.
	Nope, your hair is not great.
	You're just keeping them white.
	Get away, get away, get away.
	This is men.
	And it's perfectly rational and it's perfectly sensible and it's why meritocracy tends to be masculine.
	Now, for women, the exact opposite principle occurs.
	And it's not because women are irrational.
	It's because women are dealing with a totally different situation.
	For a woman, a meritocracy would get everyone killed.
	And I'm not kidding about that.
	For women, a meritocracy would get everyone killed.
	And what I mean by that is, let's say you're a woman.
	You've got four kids, right?
	Two, four, six, and eight, right?
	Right. And do you just throw all the food down?
	On the ground and say, good luck.
	Meritocracy, man. Whoever gets the most food, good for you, right?
	Right, right. You don't do that.
	Why not? Because then the oldest kid would just take all the food and the other two would starve.
	Yeah, that's right. Or the other three.
	And so the tribe would not have enough warriors.
	It would not have enough warriors.
	Women or girls who grew to sexual maturity, it would not have any reproduction rate that was sustainable or survivable.
	And so everybody would die off if women took the same approach to child raising that men do to hunting and fighting.
	So women have an equality of outcome thing going on, right?
	Sure. And you wouldn't...
	So, okay, are men being rational by having a meritocracy?
	Absolutely. Which is why men are drawn more to free market systems.
	Are women... Rational for wanting equality of outcome and are more drawn to everyone getting a fair share?
	Yes? Now, you put that together with the state, women's desire for equality of outcome, which is why we're all here and why we all survived and it's a beautiful part of femininity.
	You combine that with the state, you have a socialism, communism and general economic and societal disaster and collapse, right?
	So the problem is not women.
	The problem is the state.
	And so with regards to who is more rational, women are perfectly rational when it comes to raising children.
	They're not a fan of meritocracy.
	In fact, this is why everyone gets a participation trophy when women run things.
	This is why they find it very hard to fail.
	So when women start to run the educational system, you don't get pass-fails anymore.
	Kids don't get left back.
	They want an equality of outcome, which is, again, it's perfectly rational when you're raising toddlers, and it's absolutely necessary.
	So men look at the meritocracy and they say, oh my God, women are all this, socialism and equality of outcome and so on, and women are rational to support theft, Steph?
	Absolutely. Women are perfectly rational to support theft.
	Perfectly rational. Now, I'm not talking among adults, because you have to remember that women are primed and raised and evolved to deal with toddlers up until about the age of 8 to 10, right?
	So yes, women are perfectly rational to support theft, and I will tell you why.
	I'll give you this example. You've got the four kids, 2, 4, 6, 8.
	The 8-year-old steals a bunch of food from the 2-year-old.
	What does the mom do? She admonishes her.
	She gets it back. Right.
	Right? So if the eight-year-old steals a bunch of food from the two-year-old, which he's certainly physically able to do, and the two-year-old can't catch him and can't prevent him from doing it, right?
	Then the mom is going to go to the eight-year-old and say, give that back.
	And she will forcibly take it from him to give it to the two-year-old.
	Perfectly rational. Right. And it's actually perfectly moral.
	It's perfectly moral because it keeps the two-year-old alive, which you kind of want to do, right?
	Right. Sure.
	Does this make sense? Perfectly rational.
	It does. And if you're the two-year-old, it's what keeps you alive, right?
	It's what keeps you alive. This is not a recording.
	This is live. So when we get mad at women for wanting a quality of outcome, we're not mad at women for wanting a quality of outcome.
	We're mad at women, or we're mad at the state for turning a natural growth into a tumor, right?
	So healthy growth is you get to puberty, you get tall, you become a mature adult.
	Unhealthy growth is a tumor.
	You don't get mad at growth because you need growth to grow from a baby to an adult.
	You need growth, you get mad at something that turns it into a tumor that kills you, right?
	But that is the state.
	That is not women as a whole.
	So what we do is we see women...
	Whose instincts get exacerbated by the state, and then we say, there's a problem with women.
	No. No, that's not the case.
	That's not the case at all.
	Now, with regards to your earlier question, where you said, well, a woman may change her mind, and it is, of course, known that a woman's prerogative is to change her mind.
	Right? So, a man has to have a commitment with another man.
	Because a man is in control of his own commitments.
	Right? So if you say to, let's say you're a single guy, you say to your friend, I'm going to meet you at the bar at 10pm.
	Well, you can get there, right?
	Mm-hmm. Kids get sick.
	Or not just, her sister's kids get sick.
	Or her sister gets sick and she needs to go take care of her sister's kids.
	Or someone slips and falls and then you have to go and cover for them getting the berries and twigs or whatever it is, the roots and berries that we're eating.
	So someone's going to get injured, someone's going to get sick, someone's going to have a childbirth, someone's going to need help.
	So women are really not as much in control of their own commitments.
	So when a man says, yes, I will meet you, I will go camping with you this weekend, and if he's a single man, I'm a single woman, blah, blah, blah, right?
	But because women are much more in demand, also a woman doesn't know when the guy of her dreams is going to come along, in which case she has to kind of throw everything off to get the right jeans in the right place to have the kids.
	So women just don't have...
	As much control because they are constantly at the beck and call of people who need them, around them, in a way that it's hard for us to understand as men, right?
	It's just because we don't really do that stuff as much.
	You know, if you have a man, if you have a male friend who's sick, what do you do?
	Good luck, man. Don't you just wait till he gets better.
	You don't go over and feed him soup and rub his feet and put vapor up on his chest.
	Do you do that with your male friends?
	No. No, of course not, right?
	So your time is not...
	Like, someone gets sick, it's like, yeah, good luck.
	Hope you have a woman around who can help you because I'm not going to do a damn thing, right?
	So... No, and when I got sick some years ago, the difference between how the men treated me and how the women treated me was extraordinary.
	And... Given that we all get sick and old and decay, having a woman's sympathy and empathy and taking care of otherness and so on is wonderful.
	Now, again, a woman's desire to take care of others is a beautiful thing, but you combine it with the state and propaganda and the welfare state, then you get crazy stuff, welfare state, mass migration, all this kind of stuff, right?
	But the problem is not women's desire to take care of people.
	That's a wonderful thing. That's like cell growth, bringing us from baby to adulthood.
	The problem is the state turns it into a tumor and we get mad at women.
	And that's unfair.
	Because we're blaming women for the state.
	But doesn't that kind of deny women agency?
	I've heard you say that in the past.
	Why don't we hold them...
	Or I guess, should we hold them to the standard of seeing through the actions of the state?
	Like... Okay, so let me ask you this.
	Everyone talks about women don't want to settle down, this, that, and the other, right?
	But if you look at video game addiction, how much has video game addiction or other forms of online addictions, how much has that harmed...
	Men's ability to commit and settle down.
	Like, you're 27, right?
	A lot. You're 27.
	You know, a couple of generations ago, you'd already have two or three kids.
	Right, sure. Right, so what has allowed you to not settle down?
	Um... I think...
	That's a tough question.
	Uh... I don't know if it's a specific thing.
	Maybe I'm kind of just being blind right now.
	Well, it's a variety of things.
	First of all, you can get sex outside of marriage.
	Yes. So because you can get sex outside of marriage, it's one of the things that drove men to settle down in the past was, I want to have sex.
	Why? Because I'm a guy, right? Of course, women do as well, but I think the male sex drive is a little higher.
	And the only way that you could get sex was to get married.
	So you can get sex outside of marriage, no problem, right?
	Sure. Sure.
	And you have a feeling of satisfaction maybe.
	I don't know if you play video games, but if you beat video games and so on, then you have a feeling of satisfaction and achievement and so on.
	You know, like I was reading some reviews of the Elden Ring and people are like, oh yeah, I put a hundred hours into Elden Ring and I finally finished it and it's so satisfying.
	Or people saying, it's so frustrating because I get so mad.
	I literally will throw my controller across the room and then an hour later I'm back at it trying again and so on.
	Well, that used to be what men would do to conquer nature, to conquer some career thing.
	They would do that to conquer women in terms of getting the woman of their dreams to marry and so on, right?
	Yeah, but if I saw a man who was pouring his heart and soul into video games and letting himself go in terms of career and his purpose in life, well, I guess video games would then become his purpose in life.
	I would judge that person.
	I would expect better than that from my friends.
	But you're 27 and you just burned up 18 months in a relationship that failed.
	True. You would actually have been better off burning up 18 months in a video game.
	Because you at least wouldn't be cynical and heartbroken at the end of it, right?
	I can't argue with that.
	I mean, well, there's experience that you gain.
	But your experience is in things not working out, and the reason we're talking, and it's not a criticism, please understand, I was older than you when I settled down, so I'm not talking from some Amish married at 18 hill of excellence here.
	You will do better than me.
	You will do better than me, for sure.
	Sorry, go ahead. No, I mean, you're not, like, burning my ego or anything.
	I guess I'm just trying to see, like, you know, I don't feel like I walked away with nothing, but maybe you're right.
	No, so you could argue that you walked away with less than nothing in that you've now had a relationship that failed, and so you have experience of investing, right?
	So if you invest 18 months in a relationship and it fails...
	Then, until you pass significantly, past 18 months in the next relationship, you'll still feel like it could fail, right?
	Because the last one, you had great optimism.
	Did you hope to stay together for your whole life with this woman?
	Yeah. Right.
	So, and then it failed, right?
	Sure. So, you're going to be wary the next time, of course, right?
	Sure. Now, here's the other thing, too.
	How old is she? Sure. She's like six months older than me.
	Oh, right. So you burned up over 10% of her fertility window.
	Now, she only burned up 3% of your fertility window, but you burned up 10% or more of her fertility window.
	Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know, I don't think men, and I've nagged men about this before, and listen again, no big insult to anyone out there, but it's not like I got married to every woman I ever dated.
	But you have to be responsible to your culture and your civilization and your history.
	Which is, if you're going to, you really have to figure out if the woman is right for you to go the distance, to get married and have kids.
	Because if you burn up women's fertility window, and it's not just this relationship, a woman takes at least as long as the relationship to get over it, right?
	So if you've dated a woman for 18 months and you break up, she needs at least 18 months before she's ready to date again.
	So it's actually closer to 20%.
	So you took almost a quarter of her fertility window.
	Now, again, she did it too, and you're right.
	Yes, both burned up. But I'm talking about this is something that men don't particularly realize.
	And then they say, oh my gosh, you know, the birth rate is low and immigration is so high.
	It's like, well, you've got to start committing to women if you want, or stop complaining about the birth rate being low and all of that.
	But you've got to be really serious and say, look, if the woman is not right for you, stop burning up her fertility window.
	Yeah. Yeah.
	And people say, like, I tell you this.
	If you make a general statement about women, I don't give a shit what you have to say.
	I'm not talking to you.
	I'm just looking at the comments here, right?
	Like, women don't like older dudes and basically hate men that are in their 20s, blah, blah, blah, right?
	If you make a generalized statement about women and then complain about sexism or complain about people...
	Pegging men as this, that or the other.
	If you make a general statement about women, you are putting my wife and daughter into the same category and screw you.
	Like, I don't care what you have to say because my wife and daughter are completely wonderful females.
	Completely wonderful females.
	And... If you make generalized statements about women, you are poisoning your own heart to fall in love.
	Because you're saying, this is the nature of women.
	Oh, hypergamy! And it's funny too, because women complained about hypergamy, but men are hypergamous when it comes to looks.
	Right. So saying, well, women just want to trade up, it's like, oh, and men don't?
	Men don't want to trade up?
	I mean, when you're a single man...
	It's completely insane. I remember being a single guy and I found, before I knew more about her personal life, gosh, what's the actress?
	Sandra Bullock, right? Sandra Bullock.
	Very charming, very funny, very charismatic actress and very pretty, right?
	Great figure. And so here's the funny thing, right?
	I'm just some software executive in Canada, right?
	And I read, oh, Sandra Bullock broke up with her boyfriend.
	And do you know what I think?
	Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
	You're a very confident man, Steph.
	No, no. That's delusional.
	That's not even confident. That's just delusional.
	I mean, maybe I could charm her if I met her, but I'm never going to meet Sandra Bullock.
	Of course I'm never going to meet Sandra Bullock.
	And even if I somehow overcome that massive hurdle...
	Then I'd have to meet her when she's single.
	I'd have to meet her in an environment where I wasn't just a face in the crowd looking for an autograph, but someplace like a dinner party where I could show my charm and skills and conversation.
	She'd have to find me attractive, and given who she married, ended up marrying, which was some tattooed lug who cheated on her.
	Obviously she wouldn't be interested. Right, so we have this...
	Well, men, it's like, it's, oh, you know, and I tell you, like, even if I was, and I remember that, I can't remember which celebrity it was, but it was some celebrity.
	I was even dating a woman.
	Not super seriously or anything.
	I was dating a woman. Some celebrity also became single.
	I was like, oh, you know, if she called me tomorrow, you know, so this idea that only women have hypergamy and men are just totally loyal, like imprinted ducks is just ridiculous, right?
	Men like to trade up all the time.
	Which is why there are supermodels.
	Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, I hear you talk about your wife, and she sounds perfect.
	And I guess part of why I'm asking you these questions is I'm wondering...
	I'm wondering what is okay and what I need to really, like, hold out for, you know, as far as, like, the virtues I look for in a woman.
	Like... Sorry, I'm not sure if you finished your sentence.
	That was a significant trail off.
	Yeah, I know. I know. It's because I don't even really know what I'm saying, I guess.
	Sorry. While you think about that, people are saying when females are elected to government, they wish to mother hen the society.
	Right? Yes, that's certainly true.
	That certainly is true.
	Everyone deserves health care.
	Well, sure. You understand that for women, getting the government to pay for health care...
	Is great. Because otherwise their men have to pay for healthcare.
	And so getting it in debt.
	But when men are totally in control of the government, you tend to get fascism, totalitarianism, and wars.
	So, you know, the problem is the government.
	Blaming female nature for what the state does is like saying a slave is lazy.
	No, it's the system.
	It's So, find a way to love women on the other side of the system.
	Look at the system and say the system is bad, the system corrupts, power corrupts, right?
	And the problem is the power.
	The problem is the system.
	And if you blame women for the propaganda of the system and the fact that the state allows women to go...
	Hyper-feminine, in a sense.
	I mean, I've made this argument before, so I won't make it again here in any great detail.
	But masculine energy plus the state results in fascism.
	Feminine energy plus the state results in socialism and communism.
	And getting mad at men and women for the fact that the state turns our beautiful natural tendencies into a tumor is terrible.
	It's terrible. Universal suffrage was the biggest fail ever.
	Oh yeah, right, because there were never wars before women voted, right?
	There was never social collapse before women voted.
	There was no such thing as World War I before women voted.
	Come on, man. Come on.
	Come on. I mean, you can blame women for the state that they did not invent and did not control.
	You can blame women for that.
	And all you're doing is saying, I am now going to volunteer for the government to take away my capacity to fall in love, raise a family, reproduce and have meaning.
	I understand what I'm saying.
	You can let the state strip you of love.
	You can let the state strip you Of appreciation for feminine beauty.
	You can let the state strip you of your capacity to pair bond.
	You can let the state strip you of the entire point of being a man, which is to be a husband and a father.
	But why? Why would you do that?
	Why would you let the state take away these things from you?
	Why? Even slaves had families.
	Even slaves had families.
	And you won't step up and have a family.
	Yes, I understand. I understand that women have a lot of power in the current system through the state, and I understand the family courts.
	I get it. I get it.
	I really do. What about the women who want the government in your marriage?
	Well, don't have a threesome.
	Don't have a menage a trois.
	Do not have a threesome.
	them, you the woman plus the state.
	Now the civilization is going to collapse like the Roman Empire, but But that's a function of the state. That's not a function of women.
	That's a function of the state that is not a function of women.
	Because societies have always collapsed, even when, as most societies throughout history, didn't give women the vote.
	Do you think that they didn't collapse?
	Of course they did. Crazy.
	Don't blame women.
	Don't blame women for the system we're all born into.
	I think I've managed to frame my question in a more coherent way.
	Yeah, go for it. So, I think that, like, even though I'm not a feminist, I've sort of been approaching my relationships in a somewhat feminist way, where I'm expecting, like you were saying, masculine virtue from my significant other.
	And... That being said, what virtues do you believe one should prioritize when trying to find a woman and why?
	Well, you certainly wouldn't want a woman to reflect your own virtues as a man.
	Now, of course, there are virtues called moral courage and honesty and integrity and so on, and you want those.
	Those are universal virtues.
	UPB is not gender-specific, right?
	So you definitely want the basic virtues, loyalty and trust and maturity and wisdom and all those things, right?
	Equally distributed among men and women.
	But when it comes to things that you're interested in that are particular to men or more common to men...
	Now, listen, this can be different for everyone.
	So you could have a man who is more feminine but straight and a woman who's more masculine but straight and they could reverse roles.
	Margaret Thatcher had a long and apparently fairly happy marriage and her husband said, I'm Mr.
	Thatcher. I'm Mr. Margaret Thatcher.
	So it doesn't have to be man is this and women are this.
	There's lots of variety.
	But you've got to figure out where the differences are Between you and your girlfriend, what she can have authority in, and what you can have authority in.
	And if she says, we need X, and it's not that important to you, but it's not something you would do, let her do X. If she says, you can't go out to the mall wearing gym shorts, Does that make a huge amount of sense to me as a man?
	No. Does it bother her if I go out to the mall in gym shorts?
	Yes. So change your shorts.
	Give her authority in that area.
	Give her authority in that area.
	And you know what? She's probably right anyway.
	No, she's probably right in ways that we can't figure out and who cares.
	In ways that she can't figure out and who cares, let her have the leadership.
	Right? If she says, you need to talk to your dad, if you're complaining to her about your dad and she says, you need to talk to your dad, guess what?
	Go talk to your dad. She's probably right.
	And saying, well, honey, you need to prove it.
	It's like, well, you need to prove me.
	You need to prove to me that I need to go to the ball in shorts, not gym pants.
	Gym shorts, right? Oh, yeah.
	Well, you can't prove that to you. That's what my wife's like.
	Yeah, she can't prove to you, but she's right.
	And just let her have it.
	And who knows? There could be a very good reason that you won't.
	Like, maybe, just maybe, you run into something really important.
	You run into someone really important at the mall.
	And if you're dressed in gym shorts, that person is going to view you more negatively.
	Maybe. I don't know. I don't know.
	Oh, yeah. That's very true.
	My wife does the same exact thing.
	Yeah, yeah. You understand, right?
	So she says, you can't go out dressed like that.
	And I'm like, well, nothing illegal is showing, and I'm fine.
	I couldn't possibly get arrested for what I'm wearing on.
	She's like, well, you could if there's such a thing as the fashion police.
	So, no, just let her have her area of authority.
	My wife got pregnant.
	She's like, we need a house.
	And I grew up in apartments.
	What's wrong with that? And we had a couple of discussions about it.
	And what did we end up doing? Got a house.
	And she was right. Now, saying ahead of time, you need to prove to me why we need a house.
	It's like, no, she was totally right.
	It was much more relaxing having a baby in a house rather than in an apartment because, of course, babies cry, they scream, they get upset, they're up.
	And I've talked to people who lived in apartments with a baby next door and it's really, really terrible.
	And you feel bad if you have empathy for your neighbors.
	You feel bad about this stuff, right?
	So, my argument is, just let her have her areas of authority.
	And if you give her her areas of authority, you then have the right to ask for your areas of authority.
	Now, your areas of authority don't mean she has to agree with everything you say.
	Any more than you have to agree, it is inappropriate to go to the mall in gym shorts.
	You don't have to agree with her on that, you just have to give her authority in that, and trust her in that.
	And in the same way, if you say, we need to buy some gold, we need whatever it is, right?
	Then she just needs to trust you in that.
	Now, she doesn't have to agree with all their arguments and understand everything, just because then that's exhausting.
	Then you basically say, okay, we have to be the same person, which will never happen.
	So give her her areas of authority.
	Sure. And she will give you your areas of authority.
	Yes, I see. And be curious about what she knows and what she's good at and what she understands that you will never understand.
	That's the joy, you know, I've said.
	Women are delightfully incomprehensible.
	And just learn to love...
	Because we've been taught to hate the difference, right?
	We've been taught that the difference is a problem.
	Differences between men and women are a problem that need to be solved, either by the men...
	Endlessly talking about their feelings of becoming like women or by the women becoming Marvel superheroes and punching guys.
	The only way we can deal with this difference is for men to become women or women to become men.
	And I am very much a Viva La Difference.
	I remember having that t-shirt. I had that t-shirt when I was a kid, believe it or not.
	I don't know where I got the t-shirt from, but it was two kids looking down their shorts and the caption underneath said Viva La Difference, right?
	I don't think it's an appropriate thing to put on a kid, but, you know, it's not like I raised myself.
	And women have been told, oh, well, if you have a career, men will really love and respect that.
	And as a man, when I was a single guy, you know, making some fairly decent coin in the software field, literally, if there was a pretty woman at the cashier in the grocery store, I would think about chatting her up.
	Like women will care about your career, but I don't really care about a woman's career that much, at least when I was younger and single.
	And in fact, a woman's career would be a challenge, right?
	Because if a woman had a big career and I had a big career, we'd have a lot of money, and then when we want to have kids, we'd have to deal with half that money, right?
	So it makes having kids a big problem because you're just used to a certain kind of lifestyle, whereas if the woman doesn't have a lot of money...
	Then you can pretty much have kids right away.
	She doesn't have some career that she has to go back to.
	She'll be happier to stay at home.
	There's all kinds of things. But women have just been told, well, you've got to go out and you've got to be independent and you've got to get a career and you've got to make money and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And generally what's ended up happening is women go to a university.
	They end up with degrees that aren't economically viable.
	And then they're undateable because the man doesn't want to take on the student debt.
	Two-thirds of student debt is held by women.
	Now, of course, women are more than 50% of the students, so I get all of that.
	But this whole be like men has just made women less appealing.
	and this whole for men thing just be like women has made men less appealing.
	I'm making stacks right now.
	I'm going to put a baby in the supermarket cashier.
	Not in the supermarket, at least that would be my recommendation.
	It's pretty funny. I appreciate it when one sentence from a listener is funnier than my whole 20-minute rant about women.
	Good for you, man. Good for you.
	Good for you. Oh my god, I thought you were just saying that.
	Drop that baby in the middle of aisle 12.
	And you know, if you make a baby, if you put a baby in the supermarket cashier, do you know what you're going to get?
	Not social distancing!
	Ha ha ha! Steph has the university thing down pat about women.
	Some had daddy's money paying for it in full.
	Look for those. Yes.
	Yes, that is true.
	But you, of course, still have...
	When women go to university, they get Marxist feminist propaganda.
	And... Look, it was a Bill de Blasio's kid before and after university.
	She looked absolutely lovely before university.
	After university, she looked like a complete psycho.
	It's just horrifying what is happening to women.
	But of course, you know, they want to destroy relationships between men and women.
	It's a way of destroying the family by proxy and all that.
	Women think college degrees in homes are security, right?
	Right, right.
	And again, you go to watch Kevin Samuels is a brilliant guy in talking to women.
	And he is constantly talking to women who want to stay single or who think they don't need a man.
	It's like, do you have the $2.4 million you need to retire on in cash?
	No? Okay, then you're going to run out of money when you're 75.
	And then what happens? What happens?
	You can't pay your rent. No, you need both, right?
	So, okay, here's the thing.
	Here's one of the issues I guess I have with...
	You know, the woman I'm dating not agreeing with a lot of the things that I believe is, like, then what if she tries to pass that on to the children?
	Okay, so tell me something that was significant.
	This is around the COVID thing, right?
	The COVID thing, you know, just like economics in general.
	Oh, no, no, no, because here's the thing, right?
	So if... If you are the authority on economics in the relationship, then if she starts instructing the kids on something she doesn't know about, like economics, then you say, no, sorry, that's my wheelhouse, right?
	Like, it would be like, if I speak Japanese and my wife doesn't speak Japanese, and we want to teach our kids Japanese, who gets to do it?
	With the person who speaks Japanese.
	So that's just an authority thing, right?
	Okay, fair enough, fair enough.
	But... Yeah, but then I guess then maybe is that one of the virtues that I should be looking for as someone who's willing to acknowledge when they're not the authority on something?
	Well, of course, because that's an IQ indicator, right?
	An IQ indicator is here's something I don't know anything about.
	It doesn't damage my ego to not know things about because being an intelligent person means that you know that there's infinitely more that you don't know than you do know.
	So if somebody who can't admit that they're wrong is somebody who's just not smart.
	And I don't care if they've got a PhD.
	If they can't admit that they're wrong, they're not smart.
	Because admitting that you're wrong is the only way to have a sustainable, happy relationship.
	There's no... You cannot have a sustainable, happy relationship if you cannot admit that you're wrong.
	And this is why a woman's refusal to admit that she's wrong, or a man's, if you're a woman dating a man, is more than a red flag.
	It's like, hit the eject immediately.
	If she cannot admit that she's wrong, you cannot have a relationship with her.
	You're going to end up being sucked into this insecure narcissism, and you're going to end up having no personality, and you're going to end up hating her.
	Now, somebody who can't admit that they're wrong...
	Absolutely is one of the biggest red flags because it's not rational.
	Nobody can be right all the time, of course, right?
	And if you can't admit that you're wrong, I mean, and they have this weird belief that if they admit that they're wrong, that people will lose respect for them.
	But you can never get more respect from a rational person than admitting when you're wrong.
	Because a refusal to admit that you're wrong is engaging in the narcissistic magical thinking of That being wrong is a complete disaster.
	And it means you have no empathy.
	Because if you don't ever admit that you're wrong, then all the problems in your relationship have to be the other person's fault.
	But if it's really bad to admit that you're wrong, but you force your partner to admit that they're wrong all the time, it means that you don't see the two of you as human beings.
	In other words, it's really terrible for me to admit that I'm wrong, but it's totally, you have to admit that you're wrong all the time.
	And, yeah, I mean, I have particular passion about this as I ended a relationship entirely based upon that principle.
	That, yeah, if you can't admit that you're wrong, then isn't it bad for me to admit that I'm wrong?
	And if neither of us admits that we're wrong, we can't resolve anything.
	But if the only way you can resolve things is just giving up and conforming to the other person's narcissism of never being wrong, there's no relationship there.
	Yeah, that's...
	Man, the number of times I feel like I've dealt with just these complexes when trying to have an honest conversation with someone where it's actually far more common, at least in my life, maybe I'm just, you know, around the wrong people.
	Well, I think I definitely am to some degree, but...
	Well, let me ask you this.
	Forget the race stuff, but was your mother right about this woman?
	Um... My mother's main complaint was about the race thing, you know?
	And then it's like she'll start trash talking her, but it's like very clearly stemming from the race thing, you know?
	And was there issue with the race thing that there would be a lack of compatibility or that you'd end up with multiracial or biracial children or something like that?
	Yeah, basically she was saying that you're...
	I mean, this is the weird thing.
	Like, I'm not even really white.
	Like, I'm not, like, European, you know?
	I'm kind of, like, I'm Middle Eastern, so I just found it a little bit, like, hypocritical that it's like, oh, well, you know, this person's...
	My mom basically feels that if I have kids with someone darker than me, then the kids are going to be dark.
	That's... It feels weird just that coming out of my mouth, but that's just the fact of the matter.
	That's what she says, right? Okay, so you can ask her what's the problem with that.
	She said, oh, they're going to experience a lot of prejudice and so on, right?
	So, okay, but I would certainly say that the conflict between your girlfriend and your mother is probably not particularly ideal because a woman really needs a man to be loyal to her, not his mother. Like, you will not be able to get a quality woman if your mom is running your emotional show.
	Because she wants a man, she doesn't want to date another woman, and if your mom is running your emotional show, so to speak, or your mom's in charge, or your mom has significant authority in your life, then she's not dating a man.
	She's dating a man who's being run by a woman, which is going to be a turn-off for her.
	You know, my mom actually is, in a lot of ways, the way I've heard you describe your mom.
	And I've gotten...
	Yeah, actually.
	That's one of the first things that really got me into listening to you, because...
	It was crazy when I heard a lot of the descriptions you would say.
	I think, to be fair, I think maybe my mom is a little bit more mild than what you've said about yours.
	But... Yeah, there was a lot of similarities.
	Okay, so what you need to do is you need to look and say, if a woman had a mother like mine, and that mother was running the woman's emotions, would I want two of my mom's?
	Yeah, and that's why, you know, I've gotten pretty good at like, drawing a line in the sand with my mom about...
	Or maybe I need to get better, but, you know, that's, like, one of the reasons why I asked her to leave.
	Like, when I asked her to leave my house, it wasn't even, like...
	Oh, like, I can't believe you're racist.
	I mean, I know that some people, especially older generations, they're racist, but it was more just the fact that she was trying to interfere in my life.
	It's like, you know, let me make my own decisions and stop, like, harassing me about this.
	Right, right.
	Well, there needs to be a very clear line between you and your mother in order to attract a quality woman.
	Because, as I said this before, so I'll just touch on it very briefly here, women don't look at a man in isolation.
	You look at a woman and you say, oh, she's cute, she's funny, she's smart, she's whatever, she's pretty, she's hot, and you just look at her in isolation.
	You don't think of her as embedded in a giant family structure that you're going to have to deal with for the next 40 years.
	You just look at the woman in isolation.
	And you can see all the romance movies have the man and the woman largely in isolation.
	there's very rarely any particular family embedding that goes on whereas a woman looks at a man and she sees him as embedded into a very large social and familial situation which has about 30 people in it and so she's constantly scanning to see okay I'm not just going to marry this guy I'm going to marry into 30 new people And what is the influence?
	Do I like those people?
	Do I want them in my life?
	Right?
	So again, a man is just like, oh, she's cute.
	She's funny.
	She's pretty.
	She's hot.
	And she's like, that's great, right? Everything else can be worked out.
	Whereas the woman looks at you and if she sees any hint of strings going up to the mom and she doesn't like the mom, she might date you but she won't commit to you.
	She won't. Because she's going to say, do I want this woman to be in charge of my husband for the next 40 years?
	Do I want to have this woman in my life telling me how to raise my kids, telling me what to do, complaining that the kids are too dark in this case, or whatever it is, right?
	Being racist towards me. She's like, no.
	Now, a woman with self-respect and self-esteem would have bailed on that or would have said to you, look, I can't commit to you because your mom runs too much of your life and I want to marry you.
	If I want to date you, I don't want to end up being under the thumb of your mom.
	Because if your mom says jump and you say how high, then your mom's going to get sick.
	She's going to need to move in.
	Your mom's going to tell you, here's how you raise your kids, and then it's going to be an issue in our marriage.
	Like, it's tough enough sometimes negotiating with two people.
	If you have a crazy third person with their finger on the nuclear button all the time, it's impossible.
	Now, maybe she didn't have enough knowledge or wisdom or security or whatever it is to tell that.
	No, she actually told me the first time we broke up, she said that she would never want our kids to be around my mom.
	And... I was like, yeah, I mean, honestly, I can't really say...
	I can't disagree with you.
	I struggle with that every day, pretty much, just thinking about this whole thing of how I deal with this.
	Because I feel like even a lot of women, if they find out that even if you don't have any of those strings attached with your mom anymore, they just would rather have a husband who has a...
	Well, again, that depends on how much she thinks for herself and if you have the right reasons.
	Like if you say, well, I don't see my mom or I don't have my mom in my life because she disagreed with me once, then that's a huge red flag, right?
	But if it's like, you know, my mother has these or these or these intractable negative qualities, I've tried talking about it with her, I've gone to therapy, I've invited her to family therapy, can't resolve it, got to move on.
	She's had her life, I need to have my own life, and so on.
	And if, you know, if she was violent in raising me, I don't know if she was, but if she's violent in raising me, she won't apologize, which means I can't utilize her as a grandmother because if she hasn't apologized for being violent with me, I can't have her around my kids.
	Right? And so that's going to be, then I'm going to have kids and she's going to want to spend time with them and that's going to be a huge conflict because she's a violent child raiser and I don't want that and all that.
	So, yeah, so if you have a good reason, then the woman will say, okay, here's a guy who doesn't let destructive people stay in his life.
	I can respect that. And she, of course, will have gone through similar struggles herself most likely.
	Somebody says, sorry, just to jump out for a sec here, somebody says, I'm dating a smart gal right now, but she's older.
	I'm not sure she can even have kids.
	She's 37. I'm unsure if she wants kids even yet.
	Okay, so why are you dating her?
	If she's 37, why on earth are you dating her without talking about kids?
	Now, again, this is not medical advice.
	You need to do all this research yourself.
	Talk to your doctors. But there are tests.
	I think it's something to do with FSH. There are tests that can help determine whether the eggs are failing or fading.
	So you can do all of that.
	But yeah, I mean, and also the fact that she's 37 and hasn't brought this up with you is not a good sign.
	Not a good sign. All right. I think I'm going to close off here.
	This actually was supposed to be a test.
	We've done an hour 40, which is delightful.
	And I really, really appreciate that.
	Steph, we've only been out like once, my guy.
	I brought it up, but she sidestepped.
	So you're not dating if you've only been out, like that's your language issue, right?
	This is a communication issue, right?
	So if you say, I'm dating, but you've only been on one date, you say, I've only been out on one date with a woman, but if you say, I'm dating, it means that you're in a relationship.
	So I just wanted to mention that crabbing at me for your lack of clear communication is not particularly great, right?
	So I just wanted to point that out.
	Hey, Steph, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your time.
	I didn't even realize I just took up like the whole show.
	I really appreciate it.
	All of your advice and your time.
	Oh, my pleasure, man. Thank you for calling in.
	It was a great topic and I really appreciate it.
	It's nice to do a fun topic and this is really, really important.
	I really want you guys as a whole to fall in love.
	The men and women who listen to this show, please, love men, love women.
	Don't let the state come between you and your future.
	Don't let the state come between you and love.
	Be a leader in the things you have authority in.
	Be a follower in the things that your wife or your girlfriend has authority in.
	Love each other. Be a great husband, a great wife, a great father, a great mother.
	Don't let the state rob you of your essential birthright.
	Of love, reproduction, family, children, a future, and a continuation.
	So, lots of love, everyone.
	I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful afternoon.
	And thank you for dropping by in these random shows.
	And thank you for your support, freedomain.com forward slash donate.
	To help out the show, I really, really would appreciate that.
	And take care.

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