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Dec. 13, 2021 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
46:26
WOMEN OVER 40 ARE INVISIBLE!
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So, somebody sent me an article and I read this with the kind of shocked but not shocked thing that is going on in my brain.
So, let's just go straight into it.
And this is from TheAtlantic.com.
I'll put the link in the chat here so you can read along if you like and we'll get into it.
Alright, what have we got here?
Now, this is called The Invisibility of Older Women, and it says, as they age, women experience less public scrutiny and entertain a wider set of choices about when and how they are seen.
I betcha it's not gonna work out that way.
In Alfred Hitchcock's 1938 film The Lady Vanishes, a young woman on a train becomes disturbed by the sudden disappearance of a kindly older woman, a governess and music teacher.
The latter, a spinster, is introduced to the viewer when she writes the letters of her name on the condensation on one of the train's glass window panes, only to have them evaporate almost instantly, within minutes.
She is gone, and the other passengers, Stewart and conductor, claim to have never seen her.
Asked to describe her, the young woman can only say she was.
Middle-aged and ordinary before admitting, I can't remember.
Later in the film, the older woman is reduced to a, quote, hallucination, a subjective image, a character in a novel subconsciously remembered, and even, quote, nothing but lumps of raw flesh, all before she is revealed as a British spy, the movie's ultimate heroine in the final scene.
I guess it's okay to have a spoiler from a film from 1938.
Now, if...
You've been around women, older women.
You've heard this complaint probably that in the generally modern women are never satisfied.
It's like, oh, I don't like it when men objectify me.
And then, oh, I don't like it when men don't objectify me.
One of these tragic circular things that goes on in the modern world.
But let's look at this.
I'm not seeing the movie. But the sudden disappearance of a kindly older woman.
She's a governess and a music teacher.
A spinster. She's a spinster.
Now, a spinster, of course, is a woman who never married, never had kids.
And that's pretty wild.
That's pretty wild. Today, women appear or disappear in any manner of guises.
In the photographer Petty Carroll series, Anonymous Women, it is household artifacts and traditions.
Upholstery fabric, curtains, telephones, slabs of bacon, leaves of lettuce, a braided loaf of bread, rolls of wallpaper, pillows and plates into which each model disappears, swallowed whole by the python of domesticity.
In Whitney Otto's novel, Now You See Her, the vanishing woman works in an office, present but unseen.
Her cat is indifferent when she trips over it, and when she presses her palm to her forehead, it is, quote, only to notice her hand fading away with the motion, from fingertips to forearm.
In the more recent film, Hello, My Name is Doris, let me know if you've seen any of these films, right?
In a more recent film, Hello My Name Is Doris, Sally Fields plays an older woman who develops a crush on a younger man with whom she shares an office.
At the beginning of the story, he adjusts her crooked glasses.
That'd probably be a Me Too moment now, right?
As the film critic Manola Dargis wrote in the New York Times, the young man's spontaneous gesture of kindness is transformative.
Wrinkles apparently, quote, have a way of making women disappear one crease at a time, end quote.
And when she is noticed momentarily by a younger man, such recognition evidently, quote, makes her visible, most importantly, to herself.
To herself. The invisible woman might be the actor no longer offered roles after her fortieth birthday, the fifty-year-old woman who can't land a job interview, or the widow who finds her dinner invitations declining with the absence of her husband.
She is the woman who finds that she is no longer the object of the male gaze.
You've faded, child-bearing years behind her, social value diminished.
Referring to her anticipated disappearance on her upcoming 50th birthday, the writer Ayelet Waltman said to an interviewer, I have a big personality, and I have a certain level of professional competence, and I'm used to being taken seriously professionally, and suddenly it's like I just vanished from the room, and I have to yell so much louder to be seen.
I just want to walk down the street and have someone notice that I exist.
Anyway, uh...
What can you say? Well, I guess it's important stuff.
It is important stuff to say.
We're going to talk about that and what's going on here.
Women are never satisfied.
Modern women are never satisfied.
By the way, did you hear about Tiger Woods?
Terrible car crash. They had to pull Tiger Woods today from his crash.
With the jaws of life.
Now, he's crashed before. And he's had back surgery recently, so I call me cynical.
But the moment that I hear back surgery, I think opioids.
I think opioids. I hear car crash.
I think addiction. So I guess we'll find out what's been going on before.
Yeah, this is pretty wild, right?
So Madonna, the patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck and take away my voice.
This was on Friday.
She railed against the patriarchy.
She wrote, The patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots, cut off my life force, and take away my voice, even those who call themselves artists.
Now, she's got a net worth of over a billion dollars Canadian, I think it is, $850 million US, and she added death to the patriarchy.
And included a picture of herself in full makeup.
Like, insane makeup.
So, I mean, this just goes to show you, right, that a woman can be world famous, worshipped by hundreds of millions of people, have people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to attend her concerts, she can have all of the privilege known to man, and she still feels like a victim.
You can't fight it. The victimhood thing is a pure and straight up addiction.
You cannot fight this with some women as a whole, some people as a whole, this woman in particular.
She can be one of the most famous and successful women of the last hundred years, run her own business empire, be a media mogul, be a known and in demand human being all over the place, be worth over a billion dollars She still feels like a victim.
Oh my gosh.
But she does feel like a victim because she's getting old.
And this is a woman who significantly, she's a very talented woman of course, significantly relies on her looks.
Significantly relies on her looks.
And so as she's aging, she feels victimized because she's just not getting the kind of attention she wants to get based on her looks.
And because she's older, men are going to start looking more towards her personality than her looks.
And if the personality is wanting and she can't get attention that way, she feels victimized.
Of course, she's victimized by her own prior narcissism.
She has not built the foundations of happy and productive relationships to sustain her in the last third of her life.
And... It's just tragic.
It's absolutely tragic.
And, boy, should we do one more?
Should we do one more?
So, this happened very recently, February 17th.
Ashley Judd, sister of Winona Judd.
Ashley Judd is a crazed leftist, I believe.
And Ashley Judd, an attractive woman, a talented actress, and she was in a movie called Double Jeopardy.
I've not seen it. I'm not really watching that many movies these days.
I just can't stand the woke stuff even enough to make fun of it in a review.
So Ashley Judd claims she nearly died after breaking her leg in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
She was visiting the African nation.
You know, the typical white liberal do-goody stuff on the dark continent, so to speak.
She was visiting the African nation.
She had an accident. She's 52, and it was absolutely brutal what happened to her.
Absolutely brutal what happened to her.
I mean, I'm not saying it's...
Okay. So she wrote, Friends, without my Congolese brothers and sisters, my internal bleeding would have likely killed me and would have lost my leg.
I wake up weeping in gratitude, deeply moved by each person who contributed something life-giving and spirit-saving during my grueling 55-hour odyssey.
So, does she give what happened here?
Let's see here. She was hiking in the Congo to research the bonobo's chimpanzee and endangered species.
And she stepped over a log and fell and broke her leg.
And she broke her leg in four places and had nerve damage.
And she was screaming like an animal.
Six men spent three hours gently carrying her out of the forest.
I'm sure that's what they wanted to do with their day.
And she said, this guy stretched out his leg and put it under my grossly misshapen left leg to try and keep it still.
It was broken in four places, had nerve damage.
For five hours.
He remained seated without fidgeting or flinching for five hours on the rainforest floor.
He was with me in my primal pain.
He was my witness. Papa Jean, it took five hours, but eventually he found me wretched and wild on the ground and calmly assessed my broken leg.
He told me what he had to do. I bit a stick.
He began to manipulate and adjust my broken bones back into something like a position I could be transported in while I screamed and writhed.
He saved me.
Six men who carefully moved me into a hammock with as little jostling as possible who then walked for three hours over rough terrain carrying me out.
And I guess she was in the Congo, right?
It's a pretty black country.
And then the moment she ran into real trouble, she had to flee to white hospital, white doctor in South Africa and get her solved.
It's that way. Now, this is a woman she could be, I mean, she'd be getting close to grandmother age, she'd have a whole family around her, she could be contributing to her local community, but instead she's running after bonobos and shattering her leg.
And yeah, she could have lost it, and I assumed that they had to maybe re-break it or whatever it was.
It was absolutely horrendous, and now she gets the joy of a multi-year reconstruction, and it's going to be very expensive, and like, just what a, what a complete waste.
I mean just what a complete waste and of course she's traveling the world in the midst of a pandemic and she's putting other people at risk and also I mean I guess she's I don't know how smart she is I mean she's an actress so I assume not too smart actress the same way I spent time in theater school I know whereof I speak but she said without my Congolese brothers and sisters my internal bleeding would have likely killed me and it would have lost my leg I think if you're dead,
whether you keep or lose your leg becomes a little bit of a moot point.
But yeah, just what a waste.
I mean, this go save the world stuff.
It's like that song, Big Yellow Taxi.
It's an old folk song.
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
The paid paradise and put up a parking lot.
And it's all about, like, environmentalism and this woman who's obsessed with...
Hey, farmer, farmer, put away the DDT now.
Leave me the spots on the apple.
Oh, give me the spots on the apples, but leave me the birds and the bees, right?
So she's like, oh, DDT is so terrible and we keep paving over the rainforest and it's really, really terrible.
And then at the end of it...
Her husband or her boyfriend leaves her.
Late last night, swear I heard the screen door slam and a big yellow taxi took away my old man.
Right? So, because she's so obsessed with saving the world and environmentalism, she becomes so boring, so monotonous, so repetitive, and then her husband leaves her because she's insufferable.
Because she's panicking.
DDT, banning DDT has killed almost 60 million, over 60 million people worldwide.
And DDT is not that dangerous from what I've read.
But, yeah, killed over 60 million people.
And the whole Silent Spring book was just a lie.
I mean, basically just, yeah, it's environmentalism, so.
It's just the watermelon, right?
It's green on the outside, environmentalism, but red on the inside, which is The communism side of things, so...
This, uh...
Yeah, just what a terrible...
Like, what the hell is this woman doing out in the Congo rainforest, getting her legs shattered in five places, and...
I don't know. Tiger Woods?
No, he's not all right. No, he's not all right.
He's in serious condition. They had to use the jaws of life to get him out.
And, uh...
My guess is, uh...
They say that there's no clear evidence of substance abuse, but, um...
Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.
He's had trouble with that stuff before, as far as I remember.
So, yeah, it's pretty bad.
It's pretty bad. So, let's get back to these older women, right?
And look, this is a personal topic for me.
Very personal. And I'll tell you why I'm so passionate about it.
Because I want to be emotionally accessible to you guys as a whole.
Because, you know, if you see these weird obsessions or these obsessions don't understand the history...
One of the things that got me a lot of attention on Twitter way back in the day was...
You feel very warm towards Steph?
Likely unhealthy? No, it's very healthy.
I'm a really nice person.
I'm a really nice and positive and friendly and happy person.
So, I mean, all of this stuff that people say is all just nonsense and projection.
But the reason why it's so personal to me is...
My mother fell for the delusion.
So my mother was a beautiful woman when she was younger.
I mean, I have a great face structure.
I didn't come through that by accident.
I look much more like my mother than my father, who looked a little bit like the ass end of a turnip.
And so I have my mother's sort of classical features, high cheekbones, square jaw, and a round head and all that.
I'm like a combination of the statue of David and Charlie Brown on the top.
My mother was very, very attractive.
She stayed slender her whole life, and she was able to attract men very easily.
There was a constant sort of procession of men going through the single mom household that I was trapped in as a kid.
And it took me a long time to figure this out, but when I was 11 or 12, my mother I mean, really began to spiral downwards as far as a mental health standpoint went.
She really, really started.
There was a two-week period where she simply would not get out of bed.
And I'd wake up, I'd go to school.
I'd wake up, I'd make her some tea, some toast.
I'd leave it by her bed.
She wouldn't respond. I was afraid to check her pulse.
I thought she might be dead, but, you know, she's very thin, so under the covers it was hard to see her breathing.
I'd go to school, I'd think about it all morning, I'd come back, I'd make her some more, I'd throw out the old toast, I'd make her some more toast, make her some more tea, put extra sugar in it, because I thought that would help, and this just went on, day after day, week after week.
Eventually she was able to get out of bed, and I finally sort of realized this, looking back many years later, I realized that it was because she was turned 40.
She turned 40 and she went full Blanche DuBois.
She was not able to sustain a job after that.
She ended up being institutionalized.
It was a bad scene.
It was a badass passage in my life, I'll tell you that.
It was no fooling, no joking.
That was really brutal.
That's when I had to start. I worked three jobs in high school and took in roommates and really worked hard to keep things going.
And then I had these teachers in the school be like, you know, you're a very smart kid.
I don't know why you're not getting A's.
I mean, if effort matched ability, you'd be an A+. It's like, yeah, I guess I'm just lazy.
That's just me, man.
I'm just a lazy kid, you know, just faffing away with my time, not doing anything, just wasting my life, you know, working three jobs and trying to sustain myself because my mom's in the asylum.
So she...
Bought into the lie that she was going to remain attractive or that she somehow deserved attention outside of her youth and fertility and sex appeal.
And so she didn't plan for the future.
She's like somebody who inherits a million dollars and just spends like crazy imagining that the money is going to last forever.
And that's how you make sure the money runs out.
So this complaint that women have, I've seen this up close.
I'm not going to say it destroyed my mother.
I mean, the war destroyed my mother.
The Nazis destroyed my mother.
The Communists destroyed my mother, which is why I have a virulent hatred to some degree for both ideologies.
And my mother fundamentally destroyed my mother because just having a hard upbringing, a rough upbringing, a brutalized upbringing does not necessarily mean that you go crazy.
I mean, I had a very hard upbringing.
That doesn't mean that I turned crazy.
There's things you can do, things you can do.
So, I've seen up close what happens when a woman, and my mom was not alone in this, other friends of hers had the same issues, When they're like, this insouciance, this hyper-confidence, this crazy attitude of, you know, the woo girls, you know?
Like there's some TikTok video, all these girls, it's probably trolling, but all these private school girls giggling about how they, you know, F to their teachers, and one woman giggles and says, you know, I hooked up with the Uber driver while my boyfriend was passed out in the back seat, and one girl says, my...
My school thinks that my sugar daddy is my daddy because he keeps picking me up at the same time every day.
It's probably trolling.
It's probably not true.
But this giggly, I've got all the attention in the world, men will do anything for me, I'm youthful, I'm slender, I'm attractive.
The idea that this is not sand falling through your hands, the idea that there's not an hourglass on the hourglass figure that turns it pear-shaped and puts it in comfortable shoes after 40, that's just a complete delusion.
So, this article...
It's pretty wild.
Oh, no longer the object of the male gaze.
Men just don't find me that attractive.
It's like, well, yeah. Like, I hate to say, well, duh, but yeah, of course, right?
Women bring fertility, and men bring resources.
So a man's value when he's low, when he's young, is fairly low, because he usually doesn't have a lot of money.
A woman's value when she's young is very high because she has lots of eggs and she's very fertile.
And all of that, like makeup and everything, that all emphasizes fertility, right?
When you're younger, your eyes tend to be clearer.
So, mascara, smoky eye makes your eyes pop, which makes you look younger.
When you're younger, your eyebrows tend to be thinner.
You get those Andy Rooney Arkansas ditch caterpillars on the forehead after a while, right?
So, plucking and trimming your eyebrows makes you look younger.
When you're younger, you're more easily flushed and embarrassed, and therefore rouge does that.
As we talked about before, lipstick is a sign of sexual arousal and orgasm.
So, a woman with heavy lipstick is coming in your face.
I mean, that's how deep it programs into these...
Kinds of things, right? Even heels make your calves look taller and more slender, which is a sign of youth because you're not sagging.
Bras push up your breasts so that they don't sag in the way that they do in middle-aged, and of course Botox and all of that is designed to erase All of the lines and make you look younger than you are, although all of this is complete nonsense because there's no Botox for the eggs.
The eggs age and die regardless of whatever sandpaper face blaster you've got tuned to your forehead or whatever, right?
And people get mad at me, and I understand that.
It's like taking away an infinite toy to say to a woman, youth is going to pass, the bloom is going to go off the rose, and if you haven't got a man to commit to you in a monogamous relationship by the time you're in your 30s, you're mostly doomed.
You're mostly doomed. And one of my most infamous tweets was when I posted and I said, ladies, you're going to live to be over 80.
If you don't have kids after 40, what are you going to do with all those decades?
What are you going to do? What are you going to do with what could be a cozy half century?
And it's really tragic.
You know, I mean, we have two classes of invisible people, right?
The young men without a future who live in their basement.
I'm going to be talking about this in an interview tonight at 7 o'clock Eastern.
I hope you'll drop by. So, the young men who don't have a future, who are the sort of failure to launch, which in fact, there's nowhere to land.
So, young men without a future, they are invisible in society.
And older women without a husband are invisible in society.
You say, ah, well, what is it like for men?
But see, things balance out in the world, right?
So, men's sexual market value is low when they're younger, but it goes up considerably when they get older.
I mean, if I was a single man, well, anyway, let's talk about that another time, not that I think about it because I'm incredibly happily married, but as a, you know, attractive, healthy guy with a reasonable career and all of that in my 50s, you know, it's a different thing.
If I was dating, I'd be dating at least 20 years down, 20 years younger, right?
Of course, right? Whereas, I mean, I've talked to women who are in their 50s who are like, well, it's sort of weird.
You go from being able to pull guys in their 30s to being able to, you have to court guys in their 60s and 70s, right?
Because if they're successful, which they want to, you know, women want to date a successful guy, he's going to date a lot younger, which for a 75-year-old guy means dating 55, right?
So, things balance out.
And what happens is, The incredible sexual market value of women when they're young, which is a true force of nature, especially combined with the government that is incredibly pro-female for a variety of reasons, that they tend to be more socialist, tend to be more left-leaning, tend to vote Democrat, tend to vote more, tend to live longer, of course, so society has really skewed women.
And you combine deference and support from the state with men's deference and support due to youthful sexual market value for women, it's a chicktatorship, right?
It's a chicktatorship. I'm just saying this demographically.
Women are responsible for Biden getting elected.
Women are responsible for open borders, particularly in Europe because they all burst into tears when that Turkish family half drowned their kid by overloading a boat to head to Canada to search for free dental care.
That's, you know, women have a lot of power and with great power comes great responsibility, right?
So if things are going bad in society, national debts and government spending directly correlated to the growth of female suffrage and just a basic fact that women generally value security over liberty and voting for free stuff is kind of the way that it works.
Somebody says, I'm 33 and my girlfriend is 18.
Well, okay, yeah, because she wants to be with a man who's more successful and has established himself and isn't going to be, let's do ramen noodles because I can't afford Netflix.
And you want somebody who's young and somebody who hasn't dated too much, right?
Because men can date more and survive healthily or survive in a healthy psychological manner.
Men can just date more women and be okay with this, just the way we're built.
Women pair bond like Velcro.
You know, you keep attaching and detaching, or more likely a scotch tape, right?
What they call sellotape in England.
Scotch tape, right? A little clear tape.
You attach, you detach, and it just loses its grip, right?
Women... Pair bonding.
Like, successive multiple partners break women much more than it breaks men.
And so, of course, for a man who's older, if he's dated a bunch of women, he can still pair bond.
But a woman who's older, she's dated a bunch of guys, I mean, forget it.
It's not going to work.
You're going to get divorced.
Statistically, you're going to get divorced almost for sure.
So, you say, it's pretty cruel for women.
No? Well, no, it's not cruel.
It's not cruel at all. It's like saying gravity is cruel to fat people.
It's just physics. Divorce is dick dose dependent, as you say.
Yes, that is true. So no, it's not.
I don't know, like it's not. Is it cruel to men that women are much more in demand than men when they're younger?
No. So...
Is freezing eggs an option?
Well, sure. Well, sure.
But... Just look up for freezing eggs regret.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
It doesn't always work at all.
And even if it works, you end up raising kids as a single mom.
Which is seriously not fun.
Single mom, single dad.
Seriously not fun. Seriously not fun.
So... Let me sort of get and appreciate these comments.
Appreciate these comments. Let's get to the sort of meat of the matter, so to speak, right?
So, sorry, I'll just pull up this article again.
Oh yeah, and then they go into, as they always do, Virginia Woolf.
Virginia Woolf killed herself by walking into the ocean.
So, you know, forgive me if I don't really respect much of her analysis, because if she's really, really good...
At analysis, then she should analyze herself and figure out how not to kill herself by walking into the ocean.
So, yeah.
So, here's the thing. Let's get down to the brass tacks.
I'll keep this one relatively short.
Oh, you didn't mean cruel is a value judgment?
Well, no, but cruel is a value judgment.
When you say cruel, that indicates malevolence or sadism or something like that.
So, no. I think it is saying, I don't mean evil is a value judgment.
It's like... Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a great movie.
Yes, but that's not written by Virginia Woolf.
So Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is...
Yeah, it's ferocious.
It's absolutely brutal. It's a truly insane couple who have a pretend kid and just tear into each other viciously.
And it's George and Martha, right?
So it's taking George and Martha Washington and saying this is the new state of America.
Yeah, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is an absolutely brutal, brutal story.
And if you ever have a life where you never meet such monsters in your life, you've had a pretty good life.
A pretty good life.
So, here's the thing.
Ladies, this is what you've got to do.
I'm telling you this. I mean, I've seen the real dark side of this.
I've seen the real dark side of this.
I mean, my wife's in her 50s, and she's loved and adored by her daughter, by myself, my friends, and she's not invisible to anyone.
She's highly visible, respected and loved and treasured every day.
Every day, I tell her how wonderful she is and how many amazing things she does for our family, how much I love her.
So, women who don't settle down, right?
This is like, at the very beginning, the very first, the Hitchcock movie from the 30s, right?
Hitchcock, he was a real vicious misogynist and atheist.
But she's a spinster.
She's a spinster. So, you're supposed to use your youthful sexual market power, the drawing of the male gaze, the drawing of male resources, the deference of men, you're supposed to use that to pair bond.
And to pair-bond monogamously for the rest of your life.
The institution of marriage, people say, oh, it exploits women.
No, no. They're pair-bond monogamous, Lifelong institution of marriage is there to benefit women and protect them.
And to protect them particularly from, if they marry a man who turns out to be very successful, he can just ditch them.
Let's say they have kids, 25, the kids are out of the house by the time he's mid to late 40s, and he can just ditch her and start again, because his sperm is still viable, and he's got a huge amount of resources now, so he can just dump his wife and go for the second round, right? Go for Mark II. And from an evolutionary standpoint, that's very good for his genetics.
Because the world used to understand, used to really get, that women age out of society.
But they don't age out of a family.
That's the whole point. What is supposed to replace the male gaze is a man's gaze, i.e.
your husband who loves you, your children who love you, relatives, grandkids, great-grandkids.
That's supposed to be your society.
You're not supposed to be ringed by, you know, like you're the hub of a bicycle wheel and all the spokes are penises that want to impregnate you.
I mean, that's a woman when she's young.
But you're not supposed to try and live on that forever.
That's like, that's sugar.
You can't live on sugar.
That's a drug. You can't live on a drug.
So you're supposed to use that to lock down a man into monogamy in perpetuity.
And that benefits...
The man, when you're young, because you're then monogamous to him, when you have options, but it benefits you when the man is older, when he has options.
You've built this life together, you've grown together like two trees, and...
You know, I mean, for me, there's no upgrade for my wife.
There's no better person that I could be with, so I don't...
Right? So...
That's the thing that's kind of frustrating.
That women are just lied to.
And listen, I sympathize.
I mean, I can't imagine.
I cannot imagine what it's like to have that level of sexual market power to be a young, attractive woman.
I can't imagine.
I just can't. I think it would be bothersome.
So just have that many people wanting to date you and be your boyfriend and whatever it is.
Like, you see the thirsty comments under...
When I used to do shows with Lauren Southern, you see the thirsty comments underneath.
I mean, that's kind of exhausting, right?
But... It's not supposed to last your whole life.
So the women who are like, well, I'm just going to date around when I'm young, and then after I lose my fertility, I lose my eggs, I lose the tightness in my snug harbor or whatever you want to call it, after all of that, I can't believe I'm not...
I'm not attractive to men.
But, of course, men's attraction only exists.
Men's hormones, men's attraction only exists for the purpose of pair bonding and impregnation to make babies, right?
So, of course, once you lose your fertility, you're going to lose attention from men because that's the whole point of attention from men is because of your fertility.
It's not because of your magical personality.
It's not because you're special.
It's not because of any of these things.
It's not because of any of these things.
It's because you're fertile, and you didn't earn that.
That's just a weird inheritance from a creepy uncle nature.
You didn't earn it.
It's not yours to own and to take...
Like, I didn't earn my intelligence, because I know it's mostly genetic, right?
I think I'm responsible for using it for the betterment of the world, but I did not earn.
My intelligence, that's something that just, like earning my blue eyes, earning my height, whatever, right?
I didn't earn it at all.
So, I don't base my value on being smart or blue-eyed or tall or any of the, I don't blame all good-looking.
I don't base my value on that because I didn't earn that any more than I earned my Gender or my race or any of these things, right?
And now my virtues, the choices that I can make is a good thing, right?
So, ladies, you know, I love you.
And, you know, it's so weird that people say, oh, Steph's a misogynist because he tells women the truth.
Like, boy, how much do you have to hate people to lie to them about essential facts about their future?
If you don't settle down when you're young, you will...
Go slowly mad from loneliness when you're older.
I'm telling you this story. If you don't settle down when you're young, you will go slowly mad from loneliness as you age.
And people who want to destroy your happiness, who want to destroy your society, will say somehow that it's sexist or bad or society should adapt to valuing you in the absence of your fertility.
No. No, that's not how nature works.
That's not why. Like, you got all of that attention when you're young at the cost of less attention.
Like, nature evens out. Men get less attention when they're young, they get more attention when they're older.
A lot of actresses will get work when they're young because they're very attractive.
That's not so much the case for men.
It helps, obviously, right?
And then when women get older and they say, well, there aren't that many roles for me now that I'm older, it's like, well, yeah, but think of all the extra roles that there were for you when you were younger and hotter.
And I'd rather be a man than a woman for this particular perspective that at least men are born poor and grow rich from a sexual market value.
Standpoint, women are born rich and grow poor, and a man can make up for his mistakes.
If a man wastes a good chunk of his 20s, He can still be an entrepreneur.
He can still double down.
He can throw everything into his energy and he can go and become a success.
He becomes a success in his 30s and then in his 40s even.
He can still date a woman who's in her late 20s or early 30s.
He can still have a family. So a man who blows a decade has time to recover.
A woman who blows a decade has no time to recover.
I'm not trying to scare people at all.
And I'm sorry if this, you know, if you're an older woman and this is hurting you, like, I'm sorry for that.
But, you know, when I was a kid, there were all of these anti-smoking ads, right?
The guys smoking from their throats because of tracheotomies or whatever, or whatever they have to do to take out your throat cancer scarring or whatever, right?
So there were these men...
Mostly men. Some women.
And they've had these anti-smoking ads.
Now, I'm sure that made people who've been smoking for 40 years feel pretty bad and scared.
Like, I'm sorry, you know, but does that mean we shouldn't teach kids that smoking is bad because it makes long-term smokers feel bad?
No. Not at all.
Not at all. And so, I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's not my fault.
It's the fault, I mean, it's the fault of two groups, right?
The people who lied to you and the fact that you believed the lies, because it was convenient for you to believe the lies.
It was convenient for you to believe that everybody was just interested in you because of magical you.
See, men have to work to get...
Attention paid, right?
Men have to, you know, we got to have cool cars.
We got to have cool haircuts.
We got to have endless abs.
We got, like, men have to, oh, whatever.
We have to work hard to have the world pay attention to us because men are invisible as a default.
The fact that women are complaining about being invisible after 50 is like, hello, welcome to men's life as a whole.
We're kind of invisible as a whole, which is why, you know, Hillary Clinton says, you know, war affects women most of all, right?
And COVID apparently, although it kills more men, it affects women most of the time.
We're just invisible, right? So when women complain about being invisible, it's like, hello, we've got some solidarity here because we're kind of invisible as men pretty much the whole way through.
We have to really fight to be visible, whereas women get visibility and attention just showered unhanded.
And it's really tempting.
It is a real drug that gets plied on you by society.
And it's really tempting to just say, it's magical, special, old me.
I'm just... I must be that fabulous.
I must just be that wonderful, that interesting, that amazing, that people are just interested in me.
And then what happens is when your fertility dries up and your eggs die on the vine and your boobs sag and your face falls and you get middle-aged and older, yeah, the attention dries up because men are looking for fertility, not you.
That doesn't mean you can't be interesting when you're younger, both as a man and as a woman, but...
The male attention from a romantic standpoint is mostly due to fertility markers.
When those fertility markers go away, guess what?
You know, it's kind of like, you know, that old song, Nobody Wants You When You're Down and Out, about how a guy has tons of friends when he's got lots of money, but when he doesn't have lots of money, his friends don't, not his friends anymore, right?
Okay. So don't have the kind of friends that only care when you're paying the bills.
They're not real friends, right? They're just leeches.
They're parasites. They're hangers-on, right?
So, be prepared and plan for your loss of value.
Now, the love or the attraction of the male gaze is supposed to be transferred to the love of children, because that's kind of what the male gaze is for, is for the creation of children, right?
And so the love of anonymous men, the attraction of anonymous men, I shouldn't say the love, the attraction of anonymous men, which is shallow and fertility-based, is supposed to be replaced by the adoring eyes of your family.
That's how you sustain the second half of your life.
But if you've missed the fertility window and you can't have kids, you've got nothing for that.
You know, maybe you can find a life as a volunteer.
Maybe you can find the life, I guess, like Ashley Judd going around looking at bonobos and having your leg cracked in four places while you scream in agony on the jungle floor, though that doesn't seem like a very good plan.
Or you can be like Madonna.
Who's, you know, had vile breakups and endless trashy men strolling through her endless trashy life and complain about the patriarchy when you're worth over a billion dollars.
And she posts some pretty coarse, harsh, ugly stuff.
But then, of course, she was the victim of sexual assault in her teens by, I think, a black guy, and it's pretty bad as a whole.
She's had it kind of rough in her own way, but hasn't dealt with it, of course.
So... That's basically the thing that I wanted to get across the most, was just for everyone to understand this.
I sometimes think, what is the accepted definition of loneliness?
Loneliness makes you crazy.
I started to experience this last year with the lockdowns and restrictions, so I moved because I want to remain sane.
Yes, sanity and companionship are the same thing.
We all go insane in isolation.
That's why isolation is actually a form of torture.
It's a form of torture that's bad.
Isolating people is a form of torture.
And you also have to plan for it.
This is why, you know, when you're in college, this is for both men and women.
When you're in college, you make friends.
You've got to use those friends to transition into marriage.
Because... And I've had this, like, when I went to...
After high school, I went to go and work in Thunder Bay.
We were based in Thunder Bay, and I went to go gold panning and prospecting.
It was tough to find friends.
I was new to the city, didn't know anyone.
And what do you do? Like, there was no internet back then.
I would go to the gym, work out, chat with some guys, and...
I remember suggesting to a guy that we go to a movie when we're sitting half-naked in a sauna.
Obviously, that was taken the wrong way, which I can completely understand.
But, you know, we go insane on our own because we need people to tell us How to think better.
We need people to push back on our theories that sometimes go off the rails or often go off the rails.
We need people to process our thoughts with.
We need people to process our reality with.
We're a social being.
We're dogs, not cats.
So if you're alone, you will go crazy.
And this is why, I mean, physically loneliness is worse than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Because your body basically says, oh, wait, we don't have any connection with anyone?
Well, we're just taking resources from the tribe for no reason.
The general tribal DNA says bye-bye, right?
So... I mean, the only thing worse than feeling lonely if you're alone is not feeling lonely if you're alone, which means you've already gone crazy, right?
So... Yeah, somebody says, I felt lonely since my relationship ended.
No old friend anywhere. Suddenly, I'm a social contact.
Set a pup. Yeah.
Yeah. I like that tune a lot as well.
It is a good... I think Sam Cooke.
Sam Cooke does a version of just about everything An aunt of mine died two years ago at home surrounded by her six children and 17 grandchildren.
I remember thinking, she's one.
Yes, she was not writing whiny existential angst bullshit for the Atlantic magazine about how she just disappeared from everyone's sight after 40, because she wasn't.
What's confusing is why do older women still initiate the divorce more than men?
Do they not know their sexual market value, their sexual market success is lower?
Well, of course, men get so pillaged and economically raped by family courts that they just get destroyed.
And it's really hard for them to have the confidence to attract women.
So older women are constantly lied to by the media.
So older women are basically told that there's this wonderful life of sexual experimentation and curiosity and there are these wonderful, incredibly fit, rippled sculptors living downtown that would love nothing more than to caress their sagging boobs, right?
I mean, they're just lied to.
They're lied to that there's this wonderful, amazing, fantastic sexual playground that's out there Based upon the lie that, oh, women hit their sexual peak in post-menopause, it's like, no, that's not the case.
That's not the case. It's not true.
So, no, they're just lied to.
The grass is greener and it's all great.
They just want to destroy families.
Just want to destroy families. I mean, as I said in a podcast recently, I view, I view, not saying it's true, I view everyone who wants to destroy families as a child abuser slash pedophile.
Because pedophiles benefit enormously without the father in the house, right?
Because they can, right? Let's see here.
I only hook up with older women.
Why go MGTOW when you can date older?
Oh, so you can't get pillaged by 20 years of baby jail, right?
Okay. Quick question, Steph.
What is your criticism of Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Heard you mention it before. It's a quick question, but it's a long answer.
I'm going to keep this... Sure.
There are tons of young men willing to make love or some form of it to them at the moment.
Yes, for sure, but a woman who's just used for sex hates herself.
In the same way that your friend won't come out with you unless you promise to pay for dinner, it's gross.
You feel disgusting.
You feel used. You feel torturing.
You feel gross.
It's horrible. It's horrible.
And so, yeah, it's not making love.
A woman will, like a younger man may take an older woman out for like training wheels to practice sex and all that, but he's not going to settle down with her.
He's not going to stay with her for the most part.
So, and a woman who's just being used for sex has a level of self-contempt that it's hard for a man.
There's a reason they call it the walk of shame.
A woman goes out, sleeps with a guy, and she does the walk of shame.
It is absolutely appalling and awful.
It's like a comedian and your friends only want to hang out with you if you're making jokes and making them laugh.
And the moment you have anything serious or anything difficult, they just vanish, then you hate telling jokes.
It's a form of humiliation.
And a woman who has to offer up sex to get a man's interest is a broken and self-hating person that's very dangerous to be around.
Very dangerous to be around.
Don't step in that.
That is quicksand with no bottom and no death.
Yeah, just wanted to sort of point that out.
It's been a while since I've touched on this topic, and I did want to mention it.
Ooh, aren't I looking kind of a little brown?
Oh, well, I'll work on the bike balance at some point.
Okay, well, thanks, everyone. I appreciate it.
Freedomain.com slash donate.
If you'd like to help out, I would really, really appreciate it.
A great pleasure to chat with you all today.
Don't forget to drop by. It's about an hour and 20.
I'm being interviewed, 7 p.m.
Eastern. Just follow me on social media, freedomain.com slash connect.
And I'll throw out the link.
I don't think I've received it as yet.
But yeah, have a great evening, everyone.
A great afternoon. I'll see you guys tonight if you want to drop by the live stream interview.
I appreciate you guys so much.
Lots of love from up here.
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