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Aug. 14, 2021 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:05:42
"Don't Have Kids?!?" A Kid Review from Izzy
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Time Text
We're back again with another show.
It's been a little while, but we're back again.
I was reading something, and I thought I would bring this up with you because you, as a child, may have a shorter perspective to bring on this.
You told me it was about kids and parenting and stuff, so I have very strong opinions on that.
Yeah, well, at least I don't.
So, that makes one of us.
So, the article is called, People are Sharing Why They Chose Not to Have Kids.
Now, this isn't just past tense.
This is also, like, why they're choosing not to have kids.
And I've honestly never considered some of these POVs before.
Now, POVs is what's called...
Point of view. Where'd you get that from?
I don't know. I just learned it somewhere.
My point of view right now would be glaring because I had queued up one of my very lengthy explanations.
Oh, yeah, I know. We should also just, I guess, stop on this topic beforehand.
As you know, peaceful parenting involves lecturers.
Yeah, more painful.
More painful than anything else.
That's right. It's like the worst thing.
All right. So it says here, a big topic of conversation today is how fewer and fewer adults are wanting to have kids.
And honestly, I get it.
No, you don't. And of course, it's a very personal choice.
Well, I don't know that it is a personal choice in a way.
No, not really. Because a personal choice is, do I have fish or chicken for lunch?
I guess that matters to the fish or the chicken, but that's a personal...
Whether you have children or not, it's kind of a social choice.
Which doesn't mean people have to or anything, but it really is kind of a social choice.
Like if you say, I really, really want the government to pay for my pension.
It's the next generation that pays for the pension.
So you say, I really want the government to pay for my pension, but I'm not going to have the children necessary to fund the pension.
It's like, okay, well, then you just want other people's kids to pay for your pension, whatever it is, right?
And also, like, you got the gift of life, pass it on.
Well, that's the thing, I mean...
It seems kind of selfish, like, okay, you got life, you're enjoying your life, right?
Yeah, yeah. Why aren't you, like, giving it to someone else, right?
Right. Can you just brush your hair off the mic?
No, I mean, it is...
I'm always a little bit suspicious when people have moral ideas that totally coincide with what they emotionally want to do in the moment, if that makes sense.
Like... Somebody who just wants to, I don't know, go partying and drink too much just says, hey man, partying and drinking too much is the essence of life.
It's what life's all about.
They just make a moral out of...
We talked about this with marijuana, how people have this marijuana culture.
It's nature's herb.
It's medicinal, man.
It's natural. Like strychnine or...
Like what? Strychnine is kind of poison.
I think it's natural or whatever it is, right?
Yeah, take this berry.
Take this berry. So...
So, there's something called Reddit, which is like a forum.
Yes. So, recently Reddit user uFoxScream.
What? u slash fox scream.
Okay. I find that a little sinister to begin with.
Like, why would you want a fox to scream?
Yeah. Or maybe it's Fox's Cream.
No, I don't think that's it.
Didn't shy away from the topic and asked, people who don't ever want to have kids, why?
And people came out with lots of direct, honest and extremely valid answers.
Here's what they said. One.
Wait, should we talk about your thoughts about kids?
Having kids, not kids you know.
Well, okay, let's just say, from a completely evolutionary standpoint, People's genes have been going on for billions and billions of years.
And the fact that someone's just like, I want to party after billions and billions of years and cut off the gene right there.
They cut off all that work just because they want to party or get some dumb career going on when they're 20.
If you're a woman, of course.
But the fact that they're like, I want a career.
I want to go to nightclubs and party.
Instead of like, hey, why don't we have kids and keep all this work going on for billions of years going on?
I feel like it's a heavy load on my shoulders thinking about all of the single-celled organisms that had to win for you and I to exist.
Yeah. You know, like, every single battle from every plankton, every single-celled organism, every worm, every, like, whatever is in our distant evolutionary chain, every ape that had to beat up on another ape or whatever, it's like all of that, like, three billion years of massive struggle comes to you, and it's like a relay. You know, like the relay in the race where you, like, you pass something, and then you're just like, no...
I'm not taking the relay. I'm not winning the race.
No, I'm done. I plan to have kids or at least be settled down, married, have kids or at least be pregnant by the time I'm 24.
So I'm going to get my career started later in life once I already have kids.
I don't know.
That's my plan. Alright, so this is what some people said about why they don't want to have kids.
And, you know, of course, we should be open-minded and then judge the way we would have at the beginning anyway.
Just kidding. Alright, so one, the whole thing...
Wait, should I mock them or just read it straight?
Yeah, mock them. Mock them. Do it. That whole thing about your friends starting to have kids and that will make you want one?
The funny thing was my friends having kids was the exact reason why my 50-50 went to I don't want them.
I can tolerate kids for a short span of time, but at the end of the day, I don't have to deal with the stressful part of having kids.
Sickness, tantrums, money, etc., You were just listening to the accent.
You weren't actually listening to the content.
Is that right? Okay.
No, that was hilarious.
So, they say...
That's probably what she sounds like, honestly.
This is Tarty Girl.
Okay, yeah, that's what she sounds like.
Tarty... A tart is a name...
It's a bit of an older name, but it's a name for a woman who dresses to show a lot of skin.
Right, yeah. Because she wants a good tan.
Um... That was the worst line you've done in, like, the last five minutes.
Right? Okay, so she's saying, okay, your friends, like, there's this thing where your friends settle down, start to have kids, and you start to think about it.
The funny thing was my friends having kids was the exact reason.
My 50-50, I guess half and half her partner, she's not a husband, right?
Went to, I don't want them.
I can tolerate kids for a short span of time.
So I guess for her being around kids is like holding your breath underwater.
Okay, some kids, I can understand that, okay?
Some kids are just like, they've been raised terribly, right?
They need help. Like, I mean, there are some kids I know that, like, you know, on my neighborhood, right?
And, like, they were fun for a bit, and then they just kind of became really weird, like, after we knew them for a bit.
Oh, yeah. And it was just kind of like, ew.
Right? So, I mean, like, look, I think old kids kind of start out kind of like a blank slate.
Like, of course, they have their intelligence.
They have probably a couple personality traits, right?
But, like, you can adjust that pretty easily.
But I think... You need, like, good parenting.
Like, be around some kids who've had good parenting in order to, like, know whether you want to have kids or not.
Because, like, I mean, personally, I just think have kids, but I mean, like, if you're really, like, really indecisive or something, just be around kids who've had good parenting.
Or look at some, like, cute kid videos on YouTube.
Just, like, even dumb things like that, right?
Or you can go to the mall and sniff baby heads.
Because they just smell good, like baby powder and...
Hang on, let me lean in here.
Baby powder smells terrible.
I'm sorry? Baby powder smells terrible.
Oh, you don't like it? No. Oh man, I like the smell of a baby head.
But people feel it's intrusive in some way, especially if they're home and you just come in through the window.
Anyway. Hello. Sir.
So the stressful part of having kids.
All right, so as a kid...
What is the stressful part of having kids?
You give me a couple of guesses and I will then tell you what the facts are.
I assume it's when I'm being really opinionated and mom gets a little annoyed at that.
Am I going to talk for myself here?
Talk for myself. What is stressful about having kids?
There's only one thing.
What? No, what's your guess?
I'd say like when I'm being really opinionated because I have very strong opinions about some things that people might not like, but...
Now, do you think that I would find that stressful as someone who has the exact same characteristics?
Yeah. Okay, there is only one thing that is horribly stressful about being panicked.
Oh, when I get better at video games than you.
No, it's not that at all.
Why would you say that? It's totally different.
Wait, hang on. It's, oh yes, when you feel unwell, that it breaks my heart and I'm very concerned for your health and safety.
You're just like, take some Nutella. No, no, no.
Okay, okay. You've got to explain what that, what we mean by that.
Because that's going to be like, Nutella is not my medicine.
It is. I vaguely remember this.
I was on the couch.
I was six or seven or something.
I was not feeling well, no energy or anything.
And you give the Nutella test, we call it, where you're like, hey, do you want some Nutella?
And if I say yes, then it isn't super bad.
And if I say no, then you're like, okay, this is actually bad.
And it is bad. And then I need the Nutella to make myself feel better.
No, you don't. It's all about me, right?
No, it is. It is true.
So for the parents out there who consider themselves quite good at video games, I'm not very good at first-person shooters.
I know, but you won't play them with me, so that doesn't count.
That's true. Okay, I'm pretty good.
I'm not actually very good compared to some people at Rocket League, but I'm better.
You would if you practiced more. Yeah, I think if I played more.
Because I remember showing you Rocket League.
That was your first 3D game.
Minecraft was first.
Well, but it's not really a twitchy game.
It is. Like a 3D bouncy manipulation game.
Yeah. And I think it took about three weeks where I was patiently instructing you, and then you're doing these flying, jumpy, loopy things.
Oh, I can't do those. No, but I mean...
Yeah, stuff like that. Well, I mean, Rocket League Among Us, another game called Goose Goose Duck, which isn't as popular, but kind of like Among Us, except better.
Oh, you are much better at these games than I am.
Yes. For sure. And those aren't even reflex games.
Those are reasoning games. Sorry.
Well, I just happen to be very good at lying.
No, it's not the lying.
It's the pattern of reasoning and remembering where everyone is and remembering the entire length of the game and who sucks.
That really is amazing.
I feel like you took extra three-point seconds on doing the trash takeout task and storage yourself.
And also knowing my voice.
Okay, your voice?
It's so easy. Well, some people that we play with, me and two others, We'll just hear someone's voice, and if we've played for them for long enough, right?
It's not me! Something like that.
Okay, that's when you're like dodo-burning.
But anyways, in Among Us, let's say, you just have like, you're like, no, it's not me.
Like, you sound mildly annoyed, but also extremely stressed.
Yeah, so unfortunately you get in my head that way.
So they're thinking sickness, tantrums, money, and so on.
No, it really is when your kids get better at you and stuff.
That's the real stress in the situation.
That's the reality. It just reminds you that I'm here to replace you.
Sorry, that was really creepy.
Hopefully later rather than sooner.
Sorry, that was really creepy.
All right, time to get a lock for the bedroom door.
All right. Okay, so, and it's interesting.
So the three things that she says here, the stressful part about having kids.
So sickness, you don't really get sick.
I don't. I mean, I have a pretty good immune system.
You have a very good immune system? I mean, like, the fact that I tried to eat dirt when I was six because I'm curious how it tasted might have something to do with that.
But, yeah, I have a pretty good immune system.
I have not gotten sick since, like, February 2020.
Like, I got, like, a mild cold that lasted for, like, two days or something like that.
That's the last time I ever got anything that was sick.
Yeah, yeah. No, and you've never been really in the hospital as far as anything goes or anything like that.
Except for like that one thing when I was three, but...
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so money, yeah, that's not bad.
So tantrums.
Let's talk about tantrums.
I've never had a tantrum.
Why are we talking about you?
Oh. What?
Let's talk about tantrums.
Because she doesn't say children's tantrums.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's probably talking about herself.
Yeah. So, Izzy, when I come up from the basement and I say I'm having technical issues, where do you hide?
I don't care.
I just run. Right.
Okay. So, sickness...
No, you've never had a tantrum.
No. I just wanted to point it out.
I don't think you bite them back.
Like, I don't think you... Oh, man. No kidding.
I'm kidding. Now, here's another tantrum.
I'm fine. All right. Okay.
So, stressful part of having kids.
I mean... I mean, I don't know what...
Everything that you want to achieve in life, you could fail at, right?
Yeah. And it's stressful when you fail, and stress is nature's way of saying change your behavior.
So I guess you could, like, what if her boyfriend leaves her?
That's going to be stressful. What if he gets sick?
That's going to be stressful. There's so many random chances in life.
And if you just say, well, I'm not going to invest in things because there will be negative aspects to it, it means you don't get to live at all.
Yeah. Two, because I don't currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage, and I don't want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I'm not in a position to provide for them.
That's from Vixter L. Kirby.
So, I assume that that's a woman, because only a woman can really be a single parent, if that makes sense, because she can get pregnant, but the man can't, right?
I think so, yeah. I think that's kind of reasonable.
Obviously, if you don't have a partner, I mean, you need a partner to raise kids properly.
Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, if you don't have a partner and you don't have any financial stability, well, sure.
Yeah, don't have kids. But the question then is, if you want kids...
Why don't you have a partner? Well, find a good partner and get yourself financially stable.
Invest in cryptocurrency to get financially stable.
Now, we might want to skip this one.
Why? All right, we're doing it.
Well, do you want to read number three?
Okay. No, don't take it because I've got to hold on to the mic thing.
For me, it's...
I don't know how to pronounce it.
Myriad. Myriad means tons and different ones.
Remember looking at the kaleidoscope the other day?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a myriad.
It's like lots and lots of many varied ones.
For me, it's a myriad of mental disorders I have.
I don't want to pass that on to another human being, much less my own child.
Right, okay, so we can skip that one. Why do you have mental disorders?
Well, yeah, I mean, why?
So, and the other thing, too...
I'm a therapist. So, I said this in a show the other day.
The best thing you can do, if you've been hurt as a child, the best thing you can do is to provide what you were denied.
So I grew up in a violent situation, so I provide a non-violent situation for you.
I grew up in an anti-rational situation, so I sort of promote reason in our relationship.
So the idea that you've been hurt and you've got mental problems, to me, I mean you should deal with those mental problems, and one of the ways to deal with it, one of the ways to conquer it, Is to provide to your children what was denied to you.
And I think that could be very helpful.
But just avoiding the whole situation.
She's probably just too frail to even have a kid.
I mean, she's like, I have so many mental disorders.
Wait, you've got to put your hand on the forehead.
Yeah, you know, just being ridiculous.
Um... Probably, she's frail.
Well, okay, so that's interesting. Do you think she's frail, like, just innately?
No, no, she's not.
She's acting it, probably. Like, I mean, she's probably a bit, but she's, like, amplifying it like crazy.
Right, right, okay. All right.
I don't know why I think that, I just do.
Alright, so four. In a psych class, that's a psychology study of the mind, we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth.
The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy.
When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them.
I was raised horribly, so I don't know how to raise someone well.
My parents had children, even though their parents abused them.
My grandparents' parents probably also abused them.
I'm just cutting off the cycle.
That's from Spencer, which I think is a male.
I think Spencer was probably quite unlucky, but I think what he needs to do to cut off the cycle is to have kids and raise them correctly.
And also for the monkey study, monkeys have an IQ of like 70 or something.
They're not smart.
They're not going to be very good parents if they don't have the experience already.
I think the smartest thing that wasn't like a human was like 83 intelligence.
I think it was Coco or something, if I remember that rightly.
So monkeys aren't smart.
I don't think they should use a monkey study to make their point.
This is what's called confirmation bias.
This is someone who doesn't want to have kids, and so he's using this, I think, as a justification.
I think so, yeah. For it, right?
And so, do you know what monkeys sometimes do with their own poop?
What? They throw it.
Why? It is a form of weapon.
Weaponry, I think. Take this, it smells bad.
Yeah, I throw poop at someone, right?
So this is like somebody saying, well, I can't go to the mall because they don't like it when I throw poop, and monkeys throw poop, therefore I will throw poop, therefore I can't go to the mall.
I will start a war. Yeah, yeah.
Poop war, right? Poop war. Now, of course, what you need is a giant catapult.
Yeah, clearly. Save up for months.
The idea that I can't learn...
Here's the funny thing. Do you think that monkeys are learning about monkeys in a psych class?
Nope. So he's saying, well, I have this unique human ability to learn, which monkeys don't, but I'm going to base my decisions on what monkeys do.
To which we can only say one thing.
Monkey noises. Did I do it?
Does that hurt? I think it hurt the listeners.
Sorry if you're trying to get some sleep.
Yeah, please remember to edit that.
I'm not kidding. I will not. I will actually just put that on auto-repeat.
Oh, yeah. No, amplify.
Actually, I should put that on your ringtone.
Anyway. Oh, my gosh. I don't even get calls from anyone.
Yeah, it's true. It's true. All right.
Five. I was parentified as a child to my four younger siblings.
Parenti-what? So, that's not a real word.
It's in quotes here. Oh, wait, hold on.
Let me guess. Does that mean the parents were both at work and the mom wasn't being a good mom and she had to go to some dumb education thing or whatever?
And the oldest sibling had to parent the other younger siblings while their parents were away?
No, it's about your child getting better at video games than you.
No, seriously. Sorry, they're still burning in my brain like in Midnight Sun.
Good. Let's play some video games this afternoon.
Can't do it. So yeah, so she's saying that she had four younger siblings, and of course, it's really tempting for parents when you have an older sibling to say, oh, just take care of your younger sibling, right?
Yeah, I think you can do that for like a little bit, like once every couple months or something, or once a month or once or twice a month, something like, but you can't do it as like, here, here, we got our babysitter or something.
No, it's not fair for the oldest sibling.
No, they have a life too.
Well, and also, so the older sibling...
The older sibling wants to have their own friends, they want to have their own life, and the older sibling also doesn't really have authority, because they're not the parent, right?
No. An older sibling wants to go and hang out with, like, let's say you've got a 12-year-old.
The 12-year-old wants to go hang out with his 12-year-old friends.
The 10-year-old, what does he want to do?
He wants to hang out with the 12-year-old.
Yeah, because they're older and cooler and can teach me.
I know that. Like, if I could hang out with, like, some, I don't know, 10-year-old or 6-year-old versus, like, a 15-year-old, I'd be, like, 15-year-old.
Yeah, for sure, for sure. It's cooler.
And so the older sibling is doing all this, well, you know, I don't want to, I don't want him to tag along.
That's what they say. I don't want him to tag along.
Because if you're the older sibling, particularly if you're going to go and play sports, 12 and 10, I mean, think about you, like two years ago, it's a big difference, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I could run for like three seconds less.
No, I'm kidding. No, but you mean your physical skills, your reflexes and all that?
I couldn't run as fast, couldn't run as far.
I didn't have as many good reflexes and my brain ability or cognitive ability wasn't quite as good.
And here's the big problem too.
So we don't really have this, but when I was a kid, you get off at school at 3.30, your mom gets home at 6.30.
Right. And the kids are not allowed to be home for those three hours alone.
It's a big, I mean, it's really crazy.
Like the school system is set up for that, right?
But because the school system was set up when people worked on farms, so they actually had to release the kids early so they could work on the farm.
But now you've got this weird two or three hours where the kids are home.
So what happens is as soon as one kid gets to be 12, the whole problem is solved from the parents' point of view.
They can still stay at work because the 12-year-old can take care of the younger kids and that's legal, right?
But what that means is that the 12-year-old can't ever hang out with his friends, can't ever go to the mall, can't ever go play sports because he's got to stay home with the youngest.
12-year-olds can go to a mall with their friends.
I'm sorry? Can 12-year-olds even go to a mall with their friends?
I could not imagine that. Well, yeah.
Really? Yeah, for sure.
Oh, wow. I didn't really think a lot, but I just kind of thought...
Well, you don't exactly live next door to a mall, but yeah.
I mean, yeah, I just kind of thought that's weird, but...
No, I mean, it's great fun.
All right. Wow.
So this one says, I was parentified as a child to my four younger siblings.
When I see a child now, I act nice, but I cannot wait to get away from it.
It. Child clown.
I'm sorry, what? I had my share of caring for kids and have next to nothing positive come out of it.
So that's a real shame. All right.
Six. I have two boys and I love them, but boy, do I wish I hadn't had them.
What? I love you, but I wish I never met you.
I don't see a lot of Valentine's Day cards.
You are the love of my life.
I wish I had never found love at all.
I wish you never existed or something like that.
Oh my gosh. Okay.
Great. Yeah, you know, tell that to your kids.
Like, just go up and say that.
I wonder what they're... This is from Mr.
Cake Senior, who oddly enough doesn't sound very sweet.
I have two boys, and I love them.
Boy, do I wish I hadn't had them.
Whether it be political, climatic, or economical, their future doesn't look too bright.
And my whole life is now dedicated to making sure I can be around and financially available to help them in a cutthroat world.
So a cutthroat world is like...
Kill or be killed. Like, it's a way of just saying...
That's like medieval times.
Well, it is, right?
So, actually, a cutthroat was originally an assassin.
Like, you'd pay them to go and kill someone.
A cutthroat world, it's the kind of thing where people say, oh, competition is so fierce and it's really tough to get ahead and everybody just betrays each other.
That's not cutthroat. That's not like kill... No, it's an exaggeration.
It's like they say, the dog-eat-dog free market when dogs don't even eat each other in the real world.
I kind of, I don't like exaggerations.
Like, I think sometimes, like, okay, like, exaggerations when you're like, oh, I can't think of an example.
Like, I know there is one, but I can't think of it.
But, like, when you're, like, saying something and you, like, exaggerate it, but, like, that's the same as this.
I'm sorry, the example is a lot of mine.
No, I do this, I may have indeed done this to you today.
Because when we were at lunch, you did something and I said, oh, you've done it three times.
And actually, later on, I thought, I can only remember two or once or twice.
Anyway, so, yeah. Yeah, when you say, oh, you've done it a million times or something like that.
Oh, yeah. You always, or you never, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's a total setup.
You say, you never do the dishes.
It's like, hey, I did the dishes three weeks ago.
That's not the point. And you just end up.
I know. I hate, like, some exaggerations.
It's not like a cutthroat world.
Like, I mean, it's, like, difficult.
You just have to be assertive.
Well, um...
Also, if this guy cares about the future and has kids, maybe his kids are going to be one of the people who solved this.
I remember the woman who was your tutor for a while saying, you know the story, but other people, so she was saying, oh, I don't have kids because the environment is like, well, you care about the environment.
You're a smart woman, you're educated, so you can have a kid and the kid can help solve environmental issues.
And now she can't get kids because she's too old.
She's having a tough time now, yeah, for sure.
So, and also, can you imagine having the dad?
Good morning. Welcome to your cutthroat world.
You'd have to randomly attack the kids, you know, just to make sure that they were aware and ready for the cutthroat world.
Yes. They'd have to wear, like, heavy neck braces.
All right. So this person says, this is, uh...
Like Elle Woods.
This is Seven. I like my life how it is right now.
Sleeping in, taking spontaneous trips, spending my money on myself.
Oh, smuggins. Having a kid means your entire life changes and I don't want my life to change.
Does everyone know smuggins means insufferably smug?
Yeah, I don't know where we got it from.
You. Me. Dad do the smuggins.
Oh, should I do this one as Total Smuggles?
Yes. Alright, seven. I like my life how it is right now.
Sleeping in, taking spontaneous trips, spending my money on myself.
Having a kid means your entire life changes.
I don't want my life to change.
How punchable is that exactly?
I can see your hands are like balled into a...
The face is too, it's like, just imagine, oh my, as a face.
Yeah, yeah. Oh my.
Yes, that is, and this is one of the reasons- Oh my goodness, you won in like an Among Us game as an imposter, due to everyone playing terribly.
Oh, victory of good over evil.
Magnificent. I mean, no fans, but they were not stellar playing that day.
Yeah, that's fair. But, I mean- But that's why I have to get so proud, because it happens so rarely.
Well, yeah, but that just makes people want to vote you out more.
And you'll win even rarely.
Rarely is the word. Rarely? More rarely?
No, rarely is the word now.
So, this person...
Sorry, you were going to say? No, no, go ahead.
So, this person is like, well, I like my life how it is.
I have a wonderful life. It's like, well, then...
No, you don't. You only have a wonderful life because your parents bothered to have you, right?
Yeah. Because your parents bothered to have you, you have a wonderful life.
And it's like inheriting a million dollars and then just spending it on useless stuff.
And it's like, your parents worked hard for that money and you're just blowing it.
At least buy a gazillion notebooks or something like that.
I use each one of those.
I'm talking about the paper ones, not the...
Oh, sorry.
I thought you meant notebooks like computers.
No, I mean, I was kind of making fun of you, but no, I'm kidding.
Oh, yeah, like, oh, can we get more crayons that are scented, different things?
Oh, I need more crayons.
Oh, more paints.
Oh, somebody use my job.
Kill, kill. What? Sorry, I was just going on a journey.
I could have done that for another hour.
We were like staples yesterday.
Yes. And I had to buy a notebook for something.
You had to. And you said, well, I didn't have to, but I wanted to.
I wanted to get it for something. And you said, oh, my goodness, look at those scented markers.
Should we get them? And I'm like, no.
Yeah, I'm just, I'm testing. You already know how ridiculous I am when it comes to saving money.
Yeah, so sleeping in, taking spontaneous trips, spending my money on myself, that's just a selfish life.
And listen, that works for a while.
Don't get me wrong. It works like a drug that makes you happy will work for a while.
But the problem is it's called the hedonic treadmill.
Eventually you're going to end up as a depressed catly.
Well, or cat guy. So the hedonic treadmill is when you get really good news.
Okay, what was the last really great piece of news that you got?
Oh my god, when Among Us changed the font.
No, wait piece of news. Let's not get on the Among Us font rant.
I'm making fun of them.
When Goose Goose Duck did a cool upgrade.
Yeah, they did a pretty cool update. Okay, so that was good news, right?
Now, your happiness went from here, like it went up a little bit, and then it just gets back to normal.
Yeah. And the good news about that is when you're sad, you also go back up, so you kind of end up in a resting place.
It's kind of like a floating device on the water.
If you throw it up in the air, it comes back down.
If you push it down, it goes back up.
It ends up at an even level.
So he's going to find himself less and less enjoying these kinds of things.
Do you think it would be fun to travel alone?
I mean, I'm not generally a massive fan of travel.
It can be fun, but I mean, it usually is fun.
Australia. Yes, that was very fun.
But look, it usually is fun.
Australia. Sorry.
No, honestly, travel is fun, but I mean, I prefer staying at home.
We always have good times.
Do you think it would be fun when we could go to see movies?
Let's try English this time. English.
Do you think that it would be fun to go and see a movie on your own?
Sure. What about eat out on your own?
Yes, because then I don't have to fight someone for over food preferences.
What? What's your trauma about eating with other people now?
I'm not aware of this. No, it's not a trauma.
It's like someone wants to eat somewhere and I want to eat somewhere else.
Oh, that stuff. Right, right. Remember we were with our friends and there were like five of us or something and we all wanted to eat somewhere else.
So we had to do like a massive game of rock, paper, scissors to try and figure out where we were going to eat.
Yeah, and the good news is that I already had my fist, like, made for the rocks, so I got to win.
Yeah, and the good news is I lost, like, on the first round.
I was not very smuggins at that point.
Yeah, you were. What was I? You came in second.
Oh, yeah. Sad smuggins.
Sad smuggins. So yeah, he's going to run out of, like, whatever good news you get.
You feel happy and then you just kind of return to normal.
So this is going to be, and you can't spend your whole life just spending money on yourself.
I mean, okay. So eight, kids destroy things.
They make messes.
I was, I just was able to eke out a life for myself in a house and actually buy some new things and make it feel like I'm finally an adult.
For kids to ruin the couch I saved for or the TV I saved for would just be too much?
These are symbols of my hard work and accomplishment.
Since when do kids look at the couch and, like, this must die or something?
Like, how do they ruin a couch or a TV? Like...
Well, I assume that they're sleepwalking, dreaming they're hunting a bison, and take a fork to the couch.
Is it something like that? Yeah, I mean, I've done that before.
No, no, no. That's why I don't wear the buffalo outfit at home.
When we're out, sure.
But not at home, because it's risky.
Okay, but like, honestly, I mean...
Sorry. That's a horse.
That's not a buffalo. Look, a buffalo could make that sound if you stabbed it the right way.
But anyway. What the heck?
We'll get to hunting lessons later.
I worked up north with gold padding in Prospect.
All right. I get made fun of by my listeners because it comes up quite a bit in my show, just because it's relevant to philosophy.
Oh my goodness, in your show, let alone the house.
Alright, I'm going to get a fork and I'll show you some hunting lessons.
Oh my goodness, I remember like every time, or not every time, but sometimes when I'll like fall and hurt myself, you'll be like, can I get a fork to fix it?
Well, only after the Nutella test.
Alright, when I put the Nutella on...
We don't even have Nutella anymore and it's sad.
It's sad, yeah. So, okay, but we've seen, like we see on sometimes on the funny videos, right?
Like kids that have just wrecked stuff.
They need to stop watching funny videos and actually get kids.
You haven't wrecked stuff.
I haven't. I mean, you don't draw on the walls.
You haven't broken things.
You occasionally will just randomly hurl cutlery to the floor.
Okay, I'm growing and I'm bigger than usual and I'm tripping.
You have probably dismounting the couch.
Okay, I've fallen off the couch.
Do you know in Heartland where they would ride these crazy horses that would try and throw them off?
Yeah. That is similar to the way that you get off a couch.
I don't know how you end up flying through the air to get off a couch.
It's pretty wild. What? You fall off couches is what I'm saying.
Okay. I'm like, we stopped watching Heartland like months ago, what?
Right, but you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like the bucking bronco is our couch, right?
Okay, here's what happens.
I'm bigger than usual. I try and like uncross my legs to get off the couch and my legs are just like no and I fall.
And why you keep hitting everything with your hips is completely beyond me.
My hips are bigger than usual and I don't like it.
Right. All right.
So, I think that if you spend time with your kids and they're engaged with you and they enjoy your company, they're not going to be wrecking the place.
Like, you've never wrecked anything. Yeah, like, remember we saw that video, or you showed me that video of, like, this lady...
She had a shower, right? Yeah, like, to shave her legs, apparently.
Another girly thing that doesn't make any sense if you're married.
What? You give me a weird look.
No, just go on with your story.
What's that weird look for?
Um... We'll have a whole other show about you and the girly things.
We'll have a whole other show about you and the girly things.
But... So she was shaving her legs.
Yeah, she was... Right. She was shaving her legs, which angers me anyways.
No, but... So the problem could have been that she was, like, running upstairs and her hair is, like, rubbed and caught fire and she burnt.
Right? And that's dangerous. She doesn't even have any hair on her legs anymore.
She's still on the outside, though. And then she turns her legs the other way around and...
Okay, never mind. What? Anyways...
So what happened was, is she like apparently like came downstairs and her like two or three year old or whatever, her toddler and her dog had made like an insane mess or something.
And when she asked like, where are you?
Or, oh my gosh, what happened or whatever, right?
Yeah. The toddler just shouted like really angrily.
You could just hear it like, what?
Like, what do you want, right? Oh yeah.
That's an angry toddler. That's an angry toddler and angry toddlers are destructive, like more destructive like nuclear weapons.
When they're angry, they're destructive.
Oh yeah. In a good way though, it's very funny and they don't get angry if you parent them, right?
No, that's right. I mean, so the kid is angry at something, right?
And you see these...
We see sometimes these kids...
We saw them on a TikTok video the other day.
The kid was really angry in the backseat.
And do you remember the mom was just like, well, just scream all you want.
I don't care. I don't remember that.
There was this battle of wills or just ignoring your child's temper tantrum or whatever.
It's like, no, no, the tantrum is important.
You've got to sit down and listen and find out what the issue is so the child feels cares for.
Otherwise, they're just going to escalate, right?
So... All right.
Nine. I'd love to, if I could be a father, says swiggity swoot toot.
Swiggity swiggity woot toot.
I think that's Scottish. Anyway.
What? Sorry. I'd love to if I could be a father.
Motherhood asks you to sacrifice everything for your body, to identity, to even your life for your child.
My mama's most died in childbirth.
I love my body, my financial freedom, my career, my relationship, and the cleanliness and silence of my home.
I refuse to give any of that up for a child.
I know I would resent for upheaving my life.
I bet your home was a big star.
Yeah, yeah, it could be, right? Okay, number one.
Yes, your mother almost died in childbirth.
Could be something genetic.
Get a C-section. It's incredibly rare.
It's incredibly rare. It's massive.
You're more in danger driving to the hospital than you are in childbirth.
And look, also, like, if it's really, like, so terrifying, get, like, a C-section or something.
Yeah, yeah. And, like, give birth that way.
And if you want to have a bunch of kids, just get that zipper put in and you're sick.
Yeah. How's homeschooling going for you?
Terribly. I'm now disturbed.
Yeah, you go ahead. And also, kids won't make a mess, really.
Just teach them how to clean up after themselves.
Well, what does a tidy home do for the rest of your life?
It doesn't do anything. I mean, it's nice in the moment, but you have a quiet, silent, tidy home.
Silent, yes. Explore that.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Wait, what?
Me? No.
Okay. Maybe. No, I'm just saying.
No, but I mean, like, it's silent for a reason.
It's like you're not getting, you don't have a partner, you don't have, like, kids, like...
I mean, it's like if you have a dog and the dog dies, it's like, oh, the house is silent.
It's like, yeah, but that's kind of sad, right?
And I can tell you, I would bet a million dollars on this.
I mean, not mine, but I bet someone's million dollars on this.
So, her mom almost died in childbirth.
I bet you her mom held that over.
Oh, yeah. Oh, boy, God.
Oh, boy, God. Right?
So, my mom always was dialed in childbirth, which she reminded me of three times a day when I would just not listen to her or something.
I almost died for you.
He's like, I almost died for you. Oh, there's this comedian, Bill Cosby, who got into a lot of trouble, just got released from prison anyway.
He used to have this joke where his father would say, I brought you into this world.
I can take you out, too.
Which is, you know, death risk.
That's not really a joke. No, it's not.
Alright, so... Oh yeah, and there's a lovely picture here of a woman in a cage.
With a baby. With a baby. Looking sad.
Looking sad. It's not even a picture.
Like, you know, you'll see these articles that you'll show me, right?
Infographic. Yeah. Infographic.
I think it's called an infographic. It's like a half cartoon, half picture.
They're like really bad.
Like, can you show that to me again? Yeah, yeah.
Like... I'm sorry.
I'm just... I draw a lot.
This angers me. This isn't...
That would take, like, a minute to make, like, honestly.
And it's not, like, you could spend an extra minute...
Actually, no, this takes about nine months to make.
The baby, I mean, hello.
Okay, sorry, go. No, you're right. It's a very simple sketch, right?
It takes, like, a bit of skills and, like, a bit of time to get, like, good at that style of art, which I hate, actually.
Yeah, yeah. But it's so dumb, honestly.
Like, just, just, just, hold on.
I gotta see. Again. Like, what the heck?
The feet look like bowling pins, like...
That's true, actually. They do. And you know why she's so upset?
Because she doesn't have a face.
Yeah, like, what's her baby? She's basically got an egg with hair.
And her baby doesn't have her face.
And where the heck is, like, there's shading on, like, the shadow, but her shirt doesn't have any shading.
Oh, yeah. And the only shading is, like, weird orange stuff on her skin that makes her look like she's, like, blushing in really weird spots.
And why does her baby have, like, middle-aged hair with a haircut?
Anyway, nobody can see this, so this doesn't make any sense in the show.
No, screenshot it. You've got to, like, put it into the show or something.
Yeah, we will. Ten, I can barely go through my period without painkillers.
So, as you know, period is a form of punctuation.
Yes, thank you.
I'm fully aware. I'll never manage to give birth.
Also, I don't like kids. They're annoying.
But see, you don't like kids.
It's like, well, you were a kid. Were you annoying?
Well, don't blame all the other kids for you being annoying, right?
Yeah, and like... Okay, yeah, understandably, like, but they have, like, painkillers for births and stuff.
Like, yeah, periods do typically, like, require at least some type of Advil or something, but, like, painkillers for...
Oh, I think it's a little more than Advil.
You mean for childbirth? No, no, for periods.
Oh, yeah, okay. But, like, for childbirth, they have, like, a lot of painkillers and stuff like that, right?
So, I mean, like... I don't...
With the fact that she thinks kids are annoying, right?
8 billion females have had to go through this to put all the people in the world, right?
If that many ladies can do it, why can't you?
I mean, there are some women, as you know, who have pretty brutal periods.
Yes. But here's the thing, too.
If you give birth, you get respite from your period.
While you're breastfeeding, you don't ovulate.
And for nine months. Yeah, and for nine months, yeah.
So you're breastfeeding, you get three years off from your period with your period pain.
And it only requires a bit of pain for birth, which will be really numb with the painkillers.
And I say this very, this is a very dangerous statement for a man to make, but from what I've heard from women, they say, yes, it's painful, but it's the kind of pain you forget.
All right.
Concerned pineapple...
What? You knew I was going to say that next, right?
Okay. Concerned pineapple.
No, seriously. Look.
Concerned pineapple. No, there's a dash in between.
You're wrong. Do not make me come over there.
All right. You're right next to you.
I can touch your ear. Okay.
Eleven. I'm lazy.
I like my free time.
Oh my gosh, that's me. No. I'm lazy.
I like my free time.
I like money. Well, the little I do have.
I like sleep. I've also just never had the instinct...
Everyone likes sleep. Yeah, I've also just never had the instinct in me to want kids.
I feel complete without them.
Plus, it's scary enough worrying about my own future, let alone the future of miniature humans.
Miniature humans. Miniature humans.
Yes, Dad, I'm a miniature human.
Not so much anymore.
Yeah, I'm like the size of Mom now, but we're pretty much the same size.
Wait, that's not saying a huge amount.
Mom's going to... You know, we left Mom out in the rain and she shrunk.
Um... We'll keep this just between us.
Sorry, you were going to say?
Minish a human? Go ahead. I mean, that's a funny way to say kids, but...
It's like a toy train set, but with people.
Okay, I'm not naming my kids.
I'm naming my kids Miniature Human.
Miniature Human, that's right. Yes, my name is Miniature Human.
So here, so I'm lazy.
I like my free time. I like money.
Everyone does. Well, the money, well, the little I do have.
Okay, so here's something that people don't understand.
When you have kids...
It's an investment. Well, no, you usually end up making more money because you work harder and you're more focused, you're more concentrated and you have more to work for.
Well, that would make money because you're like teaching your kids.
No, no, but... So if you have a job...
Oh, your husband. No, there's two...
Yeah, so let's say you're married, right? That's generally your husband, right?
If you're staying home breastfeeding. So your husband has two...
A man has two big jumps in his income.
Number one, when he gets married, and number two, when he has kids.
Now, it's not because society says, oh, you got married, let's pay you more, but he stops fooling around at work, he works harder, and he works smarter, and he gets additional education, and he becomes much more responsible when he becomes a husband, and then even more so when he becomes a father, because once you have to provide for your kids, You can't goof off.
You can't go out and have smoke breaks all the time.
You have to really work seriously so you become more economically productive.
So this idea that's like, well, I don't have enough money for kids.
It's like, well, have the kids and you'll make more money.
That's generally the way it always works.
But people have lost that wisdom, I think.
It's scary enough worrying about my own future, let alone the future of miniature humans.
So here's the thing. So people think, I worry about my own life.
When I have kids, it'll be just an additional burden.
It's not. No, you stop worrying about your own life.
You focus more on what's necessary for your kids and you stop obsessing about yourself.
Like, we've known a few people over the years who seem to be very concerned with every little ache or pain or symptom or worry or problem or this or that or the other, right?
Now, do any of these worry warts have kids?
She's like, oh, no, my hair, it's too hard to take care of, so I'm going to cut it short.
Yes. That was a terrible accent, but you know, she sounds like that.
I'm not sure where you were coming from, on what planet and what...
That was your accent, no, I'm kidding.
Is it time to imitate food there?
No, probably not. Whenever I imitate one of my parents, it's like...
Yeah, I'm not sure I'm fully on board with how I sound to you and how I land for you in general.
You don't want to know. Because it sounds mostly punchable.
It is. Yeah, I can see that.
Like when you're not doing insane smuggins, it's just mildly less insane smuggins.
Nonsense. Alright.
This is just me saying this.
As a woman, I don't want the body changes that come with having a baby.
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you not want some mild stretch marks?
How sad. Yeah.
I just don't want the body changes.
I don't want to look fast. She has a body.
She doesn't want to change because her mother was willing to give up her body changes.
I guess, yeah. No, no. Her figure is probably great or whatever.
So she's like, I can't have kids because stretch marks.
Well, and of course, the whole reason why men are attracted to women and women are attracted to men is for babies.
Yes. And so she wants all of the attractiveness, but she doesn't want any of the reason that it's actually there for, which is to have babies.
Sounds like a mask Karen, like someone who's like wearing a mask or whatever.
Right, right. She sounds like one of those ladies.
I don't know. And yet when I put my clown it mask on, they don't like that either.
It's very weird. Even when I chase them to tell them, I've got the mask on!
Sorry. Do you ever saw that video of a lady who put on like a big, it looked like it had like a beak and like some glasses or something as a mask?
Oh, she was breathing in and out? Yeah, she got into the store and the lady's like, what the heck?
Ma'am, this is at Wendy's.
All right. 13.
This is from Chibi Sailor Mercury.
All these names are like so weird.
They really are. People kept telling me that as I'd grow older, I'd reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends would start having children, and I'd start to have that feeling.
Well, I went through all these milestones and I still don't have that desire for kids.
Now, I mean, so that's a big question, right?
What if you just don't, like, maybe, I mean, I'm perfectly, could happen that somebody just doesn't want kids.
Now, I think it's something you should really examine in yourself, particularly for women, because you get past your late 30s.
Your odds of having kids are very, very low.
And if you do regret it, you've got another 50 years to go of, like, loneliness and isolation and regret.
Like, there's all these articles about how women say, you know, we just...
We just become invisible to society after 40.
Nobody seems to care about us.
We don't get any attention. Men don't buy me drinks.
You know, men don't buy me drinks.
Men don't ask me out on dates.
It's like I've just become invisible.
It's like, hello! All of that's for having kids, and now you're past the age of having kids, for the most part.
So, of course, you're not going to be...
But society only stops paying attention to you As far as dating and marriage and all that goes, if you have kids, I mean, I'm a little over 40.
You still pay attention to me.
Oh, so what? I'm a lot over 40.
A little? My over 40 can almost drive.
Anyway. You're going to get seniors discounts at the end of this month.
No! Next month.
Sorry, next month. Yeah, that's totally different.
I'm sorry. I must practice some video games.
I had to do that. That was hilarious.
Yes. Yes. So funny.
For me. Yes. Sorry.
I can't read this anymore.
My eyes just fell out. Anyway.
What? So, but it could be that somebody just said, my question is, okay, but why don't you want to have kids?
Because the norm is having kids.
That's why we're all here.
There are like billions and billions of people on the planet because people want kids.
And so if you don't want kids, it's not like the end of the world or anything.
Well, I guess it's the end of your genetic line.
But if you don't want kids, the important thing is to look at why don't you want to have kids?
Why? Like if I woke up tomorrow, like I have no ambition.
I don't want to do any shows. I don't want to make any money.
I don't want to go anywhere. Okay, it's possible, but I should probably look into why I'm lacking a basic human emotion of ambition or purpose or goal or something like that.
All right. 14.
This is from DJ Corvid.
Have you seen the world out there?
I mean, several generations have already looked at serious looming problems and said, but the children are our future.
They'll fix it. Within my lifetime, I've seen climate change go from global warming and very mild changes to once-in-a-century environmental events happening every year!
It's time to stop making more people until we can fix the problems we're causing!
Alright, there's this one book that she needs to read about one page of, and then someone needs to slap her in the face.
Okay. Yeah.
Look. Metaphorically.
What? Metaphorically you slap her in the face.
It means not for real, but, you know, a mental slap in the face.
Non-aggression principle. What's that?
Peaceful parenting flowing down through the generations, producing peaceful children.
Universal peanut butter.
UBB, universal peanut butter.
Sorry. It still hurts.
Hey, I wish UBB was as sticky as peanut butter.
That would be very nice. I don't like peanut butter.
Anyways. What? I like it, like, rarely, but you're like, I'm gonna- You've had entire spoonfuls of peanut butter.
Like, years ago. Like, you get peanut butter, and you'll, like, take the entire, like, eight-gallon bottle and, like, dump it onto one small piece of toast.
That is some architectural stacking.
It's my CN Tower of peanut butter.
It's not. You just make a massive bowl and stick a piece of toast in it.
Actually, just occasionally drop a piece of toast in it by accident and then call it a sandwich.
But yeah, okay. Fair. Fair.
All right. So, and there was a show I watched when I was a kid about a radio station.
Kind of funny now because I do broadcast.
And in it, this guy and his wife got pregnant.
She was older. And he was worried about having the kid.
And he said, these are troubled times.
These are troubled times. And you know what his wife said?
What? People have been saying that for 5,000 years.
Yeah. Kind of true.
Yeah, it's kind of true. Okay, 15.
This is from Paran's Angel.
Complete lack of a support system.
You know the saying, it takes a village to raise a child?
Well, we have no village anymore.
Unless you happen to live close to family, no one is around to help you, and you're on your own!
Husband? Yeah, but husband's not a village, right?
So where are you planning to live?
Well, okay, in the- Where are you planning to live?
In the front of the house.
In the front yard? Yeah, we were thinking of building a house there.
Yeah, absolutely. Although I'm not 100% sure, like I've kind of, no, I mean, I've- What?
You're never getting away, you know that, right?
It can't happen. All I'm saying is- You can't build a house with your father hanging onto your legs and yelling like a howler monkey.
All I'm saying is from what I have to find a husband and get kids and stuff, he may not be a massive fan of living in the front.
He might want his own house.
Maybe he has a career that's taking him elsewhere.
All I'm saying is maybe something for later on in life.
Well, I mean, if he has a career that takes you away from me, is that what you mean?
I don't think that you can actually run a career when you're currently in the hospital, so I really don't think that will happen.
As a whole, if you understand what I'm saying.
If you understand what I'm saying.
No, I have no idea what you're saying.
It's very subtle. What was it?
Cutthroat. Let me just run that down again.
All right. No, I mean, the whole idea hopefully will be, you know, if you have to move someplace, we'll just move to be with you, right?
Especially if you've got kids. I want to be around grandkids and all that.
I'm never selling this house. I like it.
Oh, it's a beautiful place. All right.
Okay. Freedom!
Okay, this is from Bill Eastman.
Sorry, Billy Aspen.
Billy Aspen, 515.
Freedom, my husband and I would probably be pretty good parents.
We're in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other.
We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.
Yeah. Is that all she says?
Why is it stressful?
No, I understand. I understand this a little bit.
So you have, you know, two parents who've had some flexibility and all of that, so we don't find parenting stressful.
But... Invest in cryptocurrency so one of you can stay home and parent.
Right. It's not hard.
So... Watch Freedom Ane.
Watch Freedom Ane. Watch his channels.
That's right. So...
I must say, I've made money off crypto.
It's not hard. The...
The people that I know, especially where they're both working, it is stressful.
Because you've got to get the kids up early.
Of course it's stressful. Because both of you, the man's working and the woman spends half her day like from 6am getting makeup and dresses on or whatever so that she can go on to her online Zoom meeting.
Dresses? Dresses do you think people... Okay, go ahead.
So you can go to her online Zoom meeting for like 9 hours or something like that.
But I mean like, literally, the women's day is like, alright, get up at 6, do hair and makeup for like 19 hours.
Wake your kids up.
Go on to Zoom class for the entire day.
Sorry, go on to Zoom teaching or whatever since COVID or before COVID. Go to work, right?
For the entire day.
Pick your kids up from school at 6.
Have dinner. Well, they have to do their homework.
Then they come for dinner. And then you get about 15 minutes to socialize with your kids before they have to go to bed.
That's terrible. And I gotta tell you, like, in all seriousness, it would completely and totally break my heart to, like, have dropped you off at daycare and have strangers, like, not even raising you, just kind of managing you and keeping you from hurting yourself and throwing some food at you.
Like, I would just, it would completely break my heart.
It's like getting married and then moving to another continent away from your spouse.
Like, why not? I had this with the guy I was talking to the other day whose mom dropped him off in daycare when he was very young.
And it's like, well, why would you have kids?
And then just drop them off some other place.
Like, it's just, it's a sad thing.
I mean, it would just break my heart completely.
All right. Ah, so yeah, we have fun together.
So this feel complete with each other, right?
We feel complete with each other.
Nothing's missing, right?
And people, they don't like to say something's missing.
Maybe that something is kids. Maybe that something is whatever.
I feel complete in and of myself.
Okay, we're social animals and we are wired to have and enjoy the raising of children.
Because if we weren't wired that way, what would have happened?
If we weren't wired to enjoy having and raising children, We would have died out as a species like a million years ago.
Yep. So, again...
Something's wrong with you. No, you can...
Again, you can not have the normal human instincts.
And that can happen, right?
Some people are just...
Like, there are some people who are just like, they have no interest in romance.
They have no interest in marriage.
And they're just that way, right?
And it could happen, right?
But the thing is, the question is why?
Now, if you examine why and it turns out you are just that way, fine, you know, go in peace, live your life, whatever.
But I think a lot of people who just say stuff and they don't figure out why, like, why don't you want to have kids?
And especially say, well, I enjoy my life.
It's like, well, then you only have that life because your parents had kids.
Or say, well, I'm unhappy.
It's like, well, maybe you're unhappy because you don't want to have kids.
Or I get it. I just want people to make the...
Because if you miss that window, man, your life is pretty miserable.
Yeah, you have like the top fertility is like 18 to like 28 or something like that.
Right. And then like the rest, it just gets worse from there.
So have kids early. Yeah.
All right. So this one I can sort of understand.
This is some woman who says, I now live with disability and chronic pain, and I just watched my best friend struggle with a healthy pregnancy.
I think pregnancy would leave me with irreversible damage and pain, and I would be unable to care for a baby afterward.
I would severely struggle, as I am right now, due to chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
I wouldn't be surprised if I became wheelchair-bound.
Sorry. Where's your sympathy?
I have no sympathy.
Go. Sorry.
Anyways... Fatigue...
She's tired. It's something in your life that needs to change if you're, like, fatigui or whatever.
Well, she doesn't say she's got an illness in particular.
So she's got some illness, but she just has chronic fatigue and chronic pain.
Yeah, that's a dumb excuse to not do things.
Yeah, well, if the doctors...
Trust me, I don't know. If the doctors...
What? If the doctors can't find anything wrong with you, then the next place I would go to is in your mind.
And again, it may be that there's some unknown illness that you have, so it could be the case.
No, I couldn't. Because I'm optimistic.
No, you're not. I mean, actually, yeah, you are.
You're way too optimistic. That is your belief, right?
That I'm way too optimistic.
So is mom. Yeah, yeah.
Mom's even optimisticker.
That is a very creative use of the language.
I'm sorry. I have to do it.
He gets, like, such a funny reaction when I mispronounce words.
I'll say, like, oh my goodness, that was so much more funner.
Oh. Oh.
No. Dad, people that we play Among Us with have said funner.
Are you spreading this virus?
No, they said it before I said it to them.
Really? And I said, finally, I have more...
No, it's fine. There are more of us.
It's fine. It's no problem at all.
I'm totally fine with it. Funner.
Oh, hold on. I dropped that.
No sweat. All right.
No, this is back recording.
Oh, back recording. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
All right. 19. I just have no desire.
Wait, hold on. Oh, I thought you said...
Okay, never mind. Sorry, go ahead. I don't hate kids, and I love my nieces and nephews, and have a great time being an influential part of their life.
However, that means that I also see how difficult and stressful it is to raise kids.
I'm so fatigable to have children.
I understand that people really love it, and it's worth it to them, but that's just not me.
You know, people have no idea the kind of strength they have.
Like, I've read these stories where a woman, her kid gets trapped underneath a car.
She's able to lift the car up.
So that the kid can get out.
Oh, really? Lift a car.
Oh, okay. Right?
The amount of adrenaline, the amount of, like, we are incredible when it comes to an extremity.
And so the idea, what people, they look and say, oh, I could never imagine doing that.
But if you get into that situation, you will find a way to make it work.
Yep. You will find a way to make it work.
And people who judge their future selves by a weakened state where they're not doing anything, it's like if I watch some guy who, like, I don't know, bench presses 500 pounds or whatever, right?
And I said, well, I can't do that.
It's like, well, sure, but he worked towards that.
He worked his way up to that, right?
If I go and try and do that right now, sure, that would be bad.
But you can work your way up to it.
So people look and they say, oh, I could never do that.
Are they saying then, if they actually, let's say that for some reason, nieces and nephews, right?
So let's say that their brother or sister died and the nieces and nephews came to live with them.
Are they just saying, well, they would never make it work.
It couldn't happen. Or they would completely fall apart.
No, they would rise to the occasion.
They would rise to the occasion.
They would find out. A way to make it work and they would end up being totally fine with it and maybe even loving it.
And that bothers me when people just say, well, I could never do what those people do.
It's like, what are you talking about? Of course you could.
You put yourself in that situation and you will find a way to make it work.
Yeah, like I started animating.
I had no idea how to animate.
And I'm just like, all right, well, let's just draw something and see what happens.
I selected like 20 frames or something and I'm just like, all right, let's see what can happen.
I mean, you've technically broken and smashed up.
A wide variety, in fact, a fairly endless line of art teachers, I think it's fair to say, over the years.
Is that a fair way to put it?
I think that's fair. I think that's fair.
Okay, I've had like, what, three?
No, two. Oh, I think I may have tried to teach you a few things as well.
I tried to teach you perspective, and if there's one thing I'm good at, it's perspective.
No, I've had four. I've had four.
Does that count me? Yeah, you and three.
Right. So trying to, just for those of you who don't know Izzy, trying to instruct Izzy is kind of like disarming a bomb with constantly moving parts while you're on a roller coaster.
Because you like to teach yourself, right?
Yeah, I taught myself. You have not found a better teacher than yourself in many things, right?
I have not. Animating, drawing, making stories.
No, I'm fair. I taught myself computer programming.
I've worked a lot on philosophy without being instructed.
I mean, I totally get what you...
You can be more original when you come up with things yourself, and then you don't have to do what you consider to be dumb exercises that please other people but don't advance what you want to do.
I used to do sketches.
Well, not sketches. I used to take a black and white photograph and try and reproduce it.
And I would literally take a week to do a face.
Faces are hard, right? Yeah, faces are hard, for sure.
But nobody taught me that.
I just taught myself. I draw, like, dragons among us characters.
Right, right. And, like, birds and stuff.
Like, I don't draw much other than that.
Right. Sometimes I'll do, like, some, like, background...
Not backgrounds. Like, I mean, I'll draw, like...
I don't even know what it's called, but I'll draw pictures of the world with mountains and trees and stuff.
Landscapes, maybe. Yeah, landscapes. But I mean, that's really all I draw.
All right, 21. And lastly...
Oh, this is the last one? Oh, this is from Merry Weather.
My life is complete without children.
Plus, I'd rather just stick to...
Cats. How did you know?
My fur babies!
Okay. What?
What? Cats. You hate cats now.
Yeah, kind of. No, you love cats.
We go to the cat shelter whenever we can.
Well, yeah, but dogs are better.
Anyways, I used to like cats, but now...
Let's put it this way.
If you die and you have a baby or a child, they will not start eating you after 15 minutes of you being dead.
I'm sure some cats don't do that, but the majority of cats...
When you were young, I could never nap with you around.
When I got my teeth done.
A little piranha. Yeah, yeah. No.
But, like, honestly, like, cats, like, you've told me this, cats will, like, eat their owners.
Yeah, they will. Absolutely. And babies.
Like, imagine just, like, your toddler going up.
Oh, okay, well, let's get back now.
Like, honestly, like, I don't understand.
Like, you nap on the couch, you wake up in the oven.
Yeah, like, I mean, I could see that happening.
No, I'm kidding. No.
Okay. And he never napped again.
I know. I'm just trying to get you to stop napping, okay?
Appreciate it. But, anyways, like, I mean, it's just...
Stop. Like, if you're gonna get an animal, get, like, a dog, but, like, just have kids, okay?
Like, I think it should be, like...
Okay, I don't really think there should be, like, too many rules.
Obviously, like, no government society.
I'm down for that. But, I mean, like, if there are laws and rules and stuff, you can't have animals before getting kids, like...
Like, it's illegal to have a cat if you don't have a kid.
No, like, look, because it, like, it's like...
They'd be like guys on the street corner opening their coats with kittens.
Hey, you want some kittens on the black market?
No, but like, seriously, like, I mean, get a kid, or at least have to be, you have to be pregnant, at least, before getting an animal.
Like, I mean... Yeah, the fur baby stuff, I honestly...
I hate it. Look, I had pets as kids.
We've had pets here. I mean, I love pets.
I think they're wonderful. But I find the fur baby stuff...
I hate it. I find it really, really creepy.
I really do.
To me, this idea that you're going to take the most glorious thing to me in the entire universe is the human mind.
It's a true miracle.
It's the closest thing that gets me to God than anything else, right?
The idea that we just evolved this incredible organ is just amazing to me.
And, you know, yeah, dogs are wonderful, but they're not, you know, they bond with you because of genetics.
It's not because of your virtues as a whole, right?
And the idea that You can create a mind.
So people have been working with computers to create artificial intelligence for like 50, 60 years.
They're nowhere close, right? No.
But you can actually create a human mind.
I mean, I'm sitting here having a conversation because I decided to be a dad, right?
And your brain is here because of actions that we chose.
And the idea that it would be just as great to have a cat on my lap as a child in the chair.
Yes, let's do a show with a cat.
Yes. Do a show with a cat.
You know, I get one of those little microphones, you know, those little mini mics that they ask the cats questions and you get that loud meow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be on my whole show, right?
That's really, really sad. Like, what do you think about having kids?
Meow. You know, it's not like I can teach a cat philosophy or virtues or values or model good behavior for a cat.
I mean, and all that.
I mean, it's, I don't know.
The fur baby stuff, to me, it represents...
It's weird. Like, dogs, like, they're cute.
Yeah, they're nice. I love dogs.
But I mean, like, just have kids.
What can I say? Have kids.
If you want to get something, have kids.
Or, as we like to refer to them, miniature humans.
Mini-humans. Mini-humans.
Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, my general thing is, you know, people can choose.
Obviously, they can choose to have kids or not.
That goes without saying. But our natural state is to fall in love, have kids, and enjoy the raising of kids.
It is the greatest thing in my life is being a husband and being a father.
And I have pretty great things in my life.
I'm sensing a compliment coming.
Please stop. No kidding. Yeah, I know.
And also torturing you with cornered compliments.
No, I won't. I won't. You'll tell me.
You'll be like, oh, you're so great and amazing.
I have this vague theory that if you get more compliments, you'll get more used to them.
No, it doesn't work that way.
I hate them more. Right.
So, again... Like, if someone does something and they keep doing it, it just makes me want to, like, punch them more.
I mean, like, I get non-aggression principle and stuff like that, but, like...
In theory. In theory. No, so this is...
Peaceful childing does not exist.
I was saying this earlier about, you know, disarming a bomb on a roller coaster.
So getting you to accept a compliment without, like, you turning red and...
Oh, like, you're starting to compliment me, or, like, me and mom.
And I just went under the table.
Oh, I remember that. Yeah, yeah. Hiding from the compliments.
No, I mean... I remember we were in a store and I had my mask on, right?
And it was, like, below my nose because I don't like masks.
I will sacrifice my vision and my breathing in order to not hear the sound.
Right. So we'll do a whole of the show about how to gracefully accept a compliment.
But no, I mean, you are a great person to be with and a great person to parent and all of that.
See, this is like... No, I'm just saying that as a fact.
Just saying that as a fact. From my perspective, you don't have to accept it.
It's just an observation. I will not accept it.
Accept nothing at any time, under any circumstances.
Fight to the death on everything. But it is...
Yeah, I mean, it is... And look, I used to write two books a year.
And since you have been born, I've written two and a half books.
Since I've been a mini-human in this world.
Since you've been a miniature human, robot, whatever this weird thing is that the guy said.
So, yeah, I mean, you don't have to, but if you don't have...
Yes, you have to.
That which makes us most essentially human. You have to.
If you don't have to, I will personally show up at your closet at 3 a.m.
in the morning. Yes, I said 3 a.m.
in the morning. Deal with it. Oh, no, that's another one.
3am in the morning. So yeah, if you don't want to have kids, that's fine, but you really, really got to examine, because if you find out later that you really should have had kids, or you can't be happy without them, and it's too late, that's a really, that's a terrible experience.
So yeah, have kids, and if you don't like it, deal with it.
It's only 18 years, not 50.
Right, unless you have more than one, in which case more than 18.
Okay, fine. We're only like 20.
What do I always forget at the end of the shows?
Don't subscribe. You're giving me a very weird one.
Very helpful. Is there anything else you'd like to help me with?
What do I forget at the end of the show?
Oh, yeah. Don't comment.
Don't share. Don't like.
Actually, just straight up. Whatever you do, do not donate at freedomain.com.
Yeah, don't do that. Freedomain.com forward slash donate.
Thank you, everyone. We look forward to your feedback.
And thanks, Izzy, for joining on the show.
We'll do another one soon.
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