| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Upcoming Streams Mystery
00:02:14
|
|
| Alright. Let's try this again. | |
| Streaming live to YouTube. | |
| Are we getting anything going down? | |
| I believe that we might in fact be. | |
| Oh, we getting something? | |
| No upcoming stream. | |
| Okay, what in the Sam hell is going on with this? | |
| And are we getting anything? | |
| and Anything? Anything? | |
| No upcoming streams. | |
| Stream. Manage. | |
| Here, no upcoming streams. | |
| Alright, well I guess we can go back to restream. . | |
| Thank you. | |
| Nothing. | |
| All right, let's try another browser. | |
| All right. | |
| All right. | |
| Well, isn't that cool? | |
| Something totally different. | |
| Alright. It doesn't show up on my live stream, but it shows up. | |
| So, yeah, that's good. | |
| Excellent. Hi, everybody. | |
| I don't know why it's not showing up on my live stream, but why would we want any kind of consistency? | |
| From computers as a whole. | |
|
Snailed Health Upgrades
00:14:49
|
|
| So, yeah. How's everyone doing? | |
| How are you enjoying, I guess, a fair amount of indoor time? | |
| And what's your life like these days when it comes to quarantine and COVID and all that kind of stuff? | |
| How's everyone doing? Let me just check in here in the chat. | |
| I'm going to get this. | |
| Mystery URL, which is magically bypassing my YouTube stream settings. | |
| And yeah, let's do ourselves a little fragging. | |
| I assume that the audio trolls are here to tell me that my accent is incorrect and that I sound like a gay Taekwondo instructor. | |
| Which, you know, I'm not saying that's entirely inaccurate, but not 100% accurate as a whole. | |
| We're getting set up here. Oh, love to chat with Sargon? | |
| Yeah, I'll check that out. | |
| Please do check that out. | |
| I would appreciate that. | |
| And, you know what, I'm just going to throw this in here. | |
| And, yeah. | |
| I've been self-isolating for five years because I hate people. | |
| Not much has changed for me. | |
| Well, you know, it's kind of funny because it is actually kind of interesting that... | |
| Not a huge amount of change for the stay-at-home podcasters, but... | |
| Let's see here. Let me just throw in a slow mode because we are definitely getting, well, we usually get quite a number of troll, trolley trolls here, which is okay. | |
| Pumping iron and watching a stream. | |
| Bless you. The virus is a cover to lock down the world for financial meltdown. | |
| Yeah, it could be. Could be. | |
| If your floor is not lava, then your day is boring. | |
| Yeah, that's true. Social distancing is what I call it. | |
| Wednesday. Yes. | |
| Are there any arguments that you have made in the past that make you cringe now? | |
| I'm not a really cringey kind of guy myself. | |
| I don't cringe too much. There is a progress, but for sure, I've got a whole series called I Was Wrong About. | |
| And you can check those out, of course. | |
| Just out of curiosity, does anyone know why... | |
| I get such slow frame rates on my webcam, right? | |
| So this is a Logitech Brio webcam, and I can't for the life of me figure out why on earth I'm getting like, literally this is like one or two frames a second. | |
| Does anybody know? | |
| Been telecommuting since 1995. | |
| Well, I guess that's good to know. | |
| I guess that's good to know. Let me zoom this in a little. | |
| You guys are more interesting than the game. | |
| I just wanted to let you know that straight up. | |
| Do I still consider myself an anarchist or an anarcho-capitalist? | |
| Well, of course. I consider myself following reason until someone comes up with better reason. | |
| Love to interview on Sargon's channel. | |
| Yes, I am going to post that on my channel as well. | |
| I've got a nice local high-def cam here. | |
| Driver update? No, I keep everything up to date. | |
| All right. But I'm a troll and donate. | |
| Well, that's fine. | |
| All right. So, audio and music. | |
| You know what? I'm terrified to try OBS. I use OBS in general. | |
| I don't know how to hook it into a game. | |
| There's no way to preview, so... | |
| Should we just get into it? | |
| Now, one thing that I wanted to mention is that there are people who have been telling me, and quite rightly so, that I'm not doing my alt fires. | |
| So that's hurt me plenty. | |
| Last played last month. | |
| Don't forget to mod swap mid-combat to fit your current situation by pressing F. Well, F is right in the middle of my keyboard. | |
| Press space to continue. | |
| Alright, people! | |
| How's my frame rate doing? | |
| How's it looking? How is that frame rate looking? | |
| Oh, looking over the cliff! | |
| Looking over the cliff! | |
| Some people call it the JQ. Looking over the cliff! | |
| Oh, and it looks like I should be shooting that, but those guys I think are already dead. | |
| Looks good? Alright. | |
| Spear guy, lightning guy. | |
| That is a weather forecast you don't want to see. | |
| The sky will be full of pentagrams and tentacles and yellow lightning and big giant guys with spears and lava and... | |
| Yeah, yeah. That's not good. I think I'm playing Doom or I'm playing New York next week. | |
| I'm trying to figure out which. | |
| Do I talk philosophy while I play? | |
| I do believe I am. Plus, you will get a couple of definitely middle-aged approved dad jokes. | |
| That is without a doubt. Alright. | |
| So, people are talking about this alt-fire. | |
| So, I hold down the alt-fire and then... | |
| See, I don't have any alt-fire in this nail dude, right? | |
| I hold down the alt fire. | |
| Wait, I've got an end thing. Oh, that's that. | |
| So I hold down the alt fire and then the left one? | |
| Is that right? This is not Animal Crossing. | |
| I just wanted to mention that as well. | |
| All right. Should we go down and should we nail it? | |
| All right. I want you guys to give me odds. | |
| I want you guys to give me odds. | |
| Will I survive first round? | |
| And I want you to give me odds like... | |
| 99.1. That's what I need. | |
| You know what? Shall I just turn off the camera? | |
| It's kind of useless, right? | |
| Jump. N-I-G-G-A. This one is easy. | |
| Sticky grenade mod was critical for me. | |
| So people are giving me a third. | |
| A five second max? | |
| Oh, come on! I'm not that bad. | |
| This is Earth after one month of quarantine. | |
| Alright, here we go. | |
| Alright. You guys, ask your genius daughter for help. | |
| Yeah, I'm not really sure she should be seeing a whole lot of this game. | |
| Unless it's going to prepare her for when the grocery store runs out of food. | |
| Alright. Shall we? | |
| Shall we stop enjoying the art? | |
| The Megadeth album covers? | |
| Believe in yourself, Steph. | |
| 69 out of 102. | |
| Three minutes. Alright, let's go. | |
| Are you guys ready? Here we go. | |
| Oh, I didn't get the nipple guards. | |
| Alright, what do we got going on here? | |
| I don't want that health. | |
| Oh, I don't want that health, right? | |
| Let's just explore a little and see what we got going on. | |
| Okay. Oh, man. | |
| It's these dudes. Alright, is anything going to jump up here? | |
| Because then I can jump down to escape it. | |
| There we go. Ooh. | |
| Oh, that's a little too hot for me. | |
| Let's run away. | |
| Run away. Man, there's a lot of dudes here. | |
| Oh, I want that. And run away. | |
| You get to see the exciting and energizing spectacle of me. | |
| Oh, I really could have used that health, don't you think? | |
| Oh, red sky at night. | |
| Blue sailors delight! Red sky at dawn. | |
| Sailors take one. Oh, I could have used those health. | |
| Bad shooting. I deserve none of it. | |
| Oh, low health, low health. | |
| How do I... Oh, that's right. | |
| I have to shoot these dudes. | |
| Oh, that's not good. | |
| Oh, I'll take that health. | |
| Oh, I'm getting my sea legs back again, my friends. | |
| Oh, I'll take that health. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Wait, is he dead? Is he dead? | |
| Wait, who are you? Who are you? | |
| People are coming. Ah! | |
| Wait, I thought I got him! No. | |
| Oh, this dude. Not a fan. | |
| Not a fan! Probably the wrong weapon. | |
| Oh, I'll take that health! Thank you very much! | |
| Oh, and I'm gonna need this, right? | |
| A little ammo. Oh. | |
| Ah, hallelujah! Oh, I don't think I can jump there. | |
| Whoa! Ah! Ah! | |
| Ah! Hot things! | |
| Hot things! Bad things! | |
| Bad things! Yeah, low health, no kidding, dude. | |
| Can I get out of here? | |
| Oh, things have slowed down. | |
| But not in a good way! | |
| There I am. I'm down. | |
| I'm down. I'm down. | |
| All right, low checkpoint. Did you win your bet? | |
| All right, I got this now. | |
| You know, it's just been a little while since I've played. | |
| Be patient with me! Oh, I'll take that. | |
| Oh, did I get the guard? | |
| I did. Alright, so I need to go in aggressively before these guys gang up on me, right? | |
| Is that... what the... is that the plan? | |
| Whoa. Okay, you come here. | |
| Oh. Oh, I like that. | |
| I'm down to one! Oh, dudes! | |
| My droogs! That is impressive, I will say so. | |
| Oh, let yourself a little health here. | |
| Go round and round. | |
| The whole entire bus goes round and round. | |
| Okay, so we want to get these dudes before they gang up on me, right? | |
| Let's go up here. | |
| Get ourselves a little health. | |
| Get ourselves a little chainsaw action going on. | |
| I'm not a fan of these guys. | |
| I remember them from the last game, and they were not much fun. | |
| Whoa. Ah! | |
| Oh, yeah, I can handle this guy. | |
| Hallelujah! All right, here we go, here we go. | |
| Wasn't there a nice healthy health thing down here? | |
| Oh, I must have got it. These guys are not too bad, right? | |
| Okay. I kind of like this, but I got a feeling I'm going to run low on ammo, right? | |
| Oh, I'll take that. Ah! | |
| Bye-bye! All right. | |
| It is planning for Marxism. | |
| Planning for Marxism. That's all I can... | |
| Oh, this dude. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| I have not got my alternative fire going yet, right? | |
| All right. How many nails have I got? | |
| Snailed it! Snailed it! | |
| Oh, yeah. That's that dude, right? | |
| Whoa. Whoa. | |
| That was quite a jump. | |
| All right. Where are we going here? | |
| Let's get ourselves a little health. | |
| And... All right. | |
| This weapon. I do need a chainsaw thing, right? | |
| Nah, I'll get this guy first. | |
| Always take the health. I'm a big sucker for the health. | |
| All right. Because, you know, I've got to tell you guys, I hope you stay safe and well because this is not the kind of environment you want to end up having to go to a hospital in, right? | |
| Oh, I should really get some health. | |
| I should really get some ammo from here, right? | |
| Oh, look at this! | |
| Is it possible I could do it? | |
| Oh, oh! Not with this dude around. | |
| Not a fan! Oh! | |
| Did I deserve that? | |
| I'm not sure I did. | |
| Whoa. | |
| Whoa. | |
| Oh, Pac-Man of Doom. | |
| Whoa. | |
| Was there something else here? | |
| I'm not getting jumpy! | |
| I'm just getting jumpy! Alright, I'm getting jumpy. | |
| You know what it means by getting jumpy? | |
| It means get the heck out of there. | |
| Get out of dodge. | |
| Get out of dodge. | |
| Oh man, this dude. | |
| Not a fan. | |
| Not a fan. | |
| Oh, did I get the health? | |
| Yes, I did. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| Yes, I did. And let's... | |
| Oh, no. I'm down to sad ammo. | |
| Where am I jumping here? Oh, I don't think I want to go there. | |
| Oh, no! Got a little health. | |
| Got a little health. Get a little love. | |
| Make a little love. Get down tonight. | |
| All right. What have we got going on here? | |
| Alright, let's see if we can get some health from this side. | |
| Oh, we like that ammo. | |
| We'll get that ammo. | |
| And a little bit of shield. | |
| There was a grenade launcher too, but I can't really remember how to do that. | |
| And the problem is... | |
| Oh, come on. | |
| Give me the health. Give me... Oh! | |
| Where was my slowdown? Where was my slowdown? | |
| Alright, you know what? | |
| I'm going to have to dig my thing in, and I'm going to have to go to the options menu. | |
| You know why? Wait, how do I get the... | |
| Yeah, I'm going to reset the mission. | |
| Oh, I've got upgrades. | |
| Weapon point upgrades. Alright, sticky bombs. | |
| Hold mouse 2 to turn the combat shotgun into a grenade launcher. | |
| See, I've got to think that I need that, right? | |
| Sticky bombs. Okay, can I upload that? | |
| No. So, have you guys played this? | |
| Use a shotgun grenade for these guys. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's important. | |
| That's important. All right. Let's go back. | |
| So, I've got Quick Rack. | |
| Bigger Boom. I don't have enough for that, right? | |
| I can't really see those credits. | |
| But that's not the fault of the game. | |
| That's just me, right? Okay. | |
| Fully Automatic Weapon. Have I unlocked that? | |
| Yes, I have. Quick Recovery. | |
| All right. Full Auto Mode is done, right? | |
| What else do I have? Do I have anything else? | |
| Sticky grenades have a zoom that make it easier to target weak spots. | |
|
Confident Gameplay Strategy
00:12:00
|
|
| Yes, thank you. I appreciate that. | |
| Hang on. Turn the camera. | |
| So I've got something here, right? | |
| Which is a zappy thing. | |
| What does that mean? Top right, I've got one zappy thing. | |
| Runes. That I need. | |
| I can't unlock anything else, can I? Get the micromissiles for the assault rifle. | |
| Alright, so if I go back to my arsenal, and heavy cannon, plasma rifle, combat... | |
| What's the assault rifle? | |
| Is that this? But I don't think I have anything left. | |
| I just have a zappy thing, and I'm not sure what the zappy thing is, because I'm not sure that I read all of the instructions. | |
| Alright, use... | |
| Oh, you're back at your fortress. | |
| Okay, alright. So now I feel fully confident. | |
| Into the fray, my friends! | |
| This time we have it That was not super good But at least I used my alternative fire Alright Alright get me some health | |
| Get some! Oh, this dude, right? | |
| Yeah, he is a little on the unpleasant side. | |
| Alright, so let's see if we can get some health here. | |
| Because that we are going to need. | |
| and I'm trapped in this dude. | |
| I did not deserve that, but I will take it. | |
| Oh, a little twitchy there. | |
| Hey, what happened to my automatic fire? | |
| My droods? I really feel like I should be using this environment more, right? | |
| Yeah, I think that just blew me up. | |
| Oh, I will take that. | |
| I'm getting too close with these dudes, right? | |
| One health. Yeah, this is gonna go just delightfully. | |
| Oh, I gotta chase a guy down, right? | |
| And get him. Okay, let's get that health. | |
| And that's 51. | |
| Oh, dude. | |
| Get that health. | |
| Get away from this dude. | |
| Get that health. Oh. | |
| Oh, get that health. | |
| And I need some ammo here, right? | |
| Oh, another dude. | |
| Whoa. Oh, he was just vanishing. | |
| Oh, I'll take that health. | |
| And look at this. | |
| We might be getting along here, my friends. | |
| Oh my gosh. | |
| Oh, man! | |
| Sidestep. Yeah, no kidding, eh? | |
| Alright, let's try another game. | |
| I'm not taking down the difficulty level. | |
| I don't even know if I can, in fact. | |
| Alright. | |
| This, I'm confident we got it this time, my friends. | |
| One health! | |
| I think the game is being kind to me. | |
| I really do. Alright. | |
| I don't have an alternate... | |
| Oh, what happened? Something happened on the alternate fire there. | |
| But I'm not sure what it was. | |
| I don't think I killed that dude, did I? | |
| No. | |
| I don't think I killed that dude. | |
| Okay, I got him. | |
| I've got some kind of grenades too, right? | |
| Oh, I don't want to be up close to that guy, right? | |
| No, I don't. | |
| All right. | |
| He's got to go down soon. | |
| Getting me some health. | |
| Alright. Get some ammo that we need. | |
| Oh, alright, that dude. | |
| Oh, get that health. | |
| Always assume that there's someone else coming. | |
| Get some ammo. | |
| And there shall be no prisoners of any kind. | |
| Wait, who's this? Oh, run away from these guys. | |
| Yeah, they are my nemesis. | |
| These guys are free health, right? | |
| Kind of. Run away from this dude. | |
| How am I doing for ammo? Multitasking is my friend! | |
| Get some ammo. | |
| Running away from this dude. | |
| This is like a place I have been trapped in a whole bunch of times before, right? | |
| Alright. | |
| Not working out well. | |
| Let's get some health. No! | |
| Almost didn't make that. | |
| I almost did not make that. | |
| Alright. | |
| Whoa. | |
| I got no health from that. | |
| Is this it for me for ammo? | |
| Ooh, that's not good. Oh no, I got something here. | |
| Alright. A little health from this dude. | |
| And... It's the war of attrition at this point. | |
| He's going to jump up here, isn't he? | |
| No, I don't think I... A little health here. | |
| Now, I've got a control bomb here somewhere, right? | |
| Oh, there it is. Oh. | |
| Cheating! Cheating! No appearing! | |
| I can't appear. Disappear! | |
| Like an old InXS song. | |
| Alright, let's get a little ammo. | |
| Run around the corner here. | |
| I shouldn't have really taken that health, but I will anyway. | |
| Oh! Yes! Got him, got him, got him. | |
| Yes. Bye-bye, dude. | |
| Alright, alright. Hey, hey, hey! | |
| Where are you coming from? What's hitting me? | |
| A little health. Actually, I'm kind of vaguely getting the layout of this spot. | |
| A little health. I should probably get some ammo too, right? | |
| Jumpy jump. A little more health. | |
| And I got my sticky control bomb thing here, right? | |
| Oh, did I get him? | |
| That is quite helpful, in fact. | |
| I know, I know, I know, I need to sidestep, but I really feel like... | |
| I didn't have any room! | |
| Come for the demons, stay for the cutscenes. | |
| Alright. Look at this! | |
| We're getting somewhere, my droogs! | |
| I don't even know what that means. | |
| What is droogs, by the way? Is that out of Clockwork Orange? | |
| You trouble me not at all! | |
| Oh my gosh, did we make it? | |
| Oh my gosh! Look at that! | |
| Three tries! Alright, right click. | |
| Okay, so... | |
| The right click just kind of scales stuff up and then brings it back down, right? | |
| Okay, I just want to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. | |
| Leave nothing behind. | |
| Leave no ammo or options behind. | |
| Alright, should we just enjoy the scenery? | |
| The greenery? Yeah, lots of goodies, right? | |
| Ooh, there's some goodies up there too, right? | |
| So how do we get to those? | |
| Oh, that's cool. Alright, so... | |
| I think that there's a little bit more to get here, right? | |
| Did I miss something? You be my eyes and ears, my friends! | |
| Please. Alright. | |
| Oh, I think there was something higher up here, right? | |
| Oh yeah, there was this. | |
| That's probably it, right? Oh yes, a bit more ammo here. | |
| You know, this kind of ammo can be... | |
| I thought I did this already. Can be the difference between life... | |
| As a mortal and eternal life as a slave of the demons. | |
| All right. What do we got here? | |
| The boomer is a real remover. | |
| And... Yeah, how do you guys find the audio is all right? | |
| You don't care about the camera, right? | |
| It doesn't really matter, right? All right. | |
| Should we keep going? | |
| Shall we keep going? | |
| I think we should. | |
| I really, really think we should. | |
| And how many friends do I have in here at the moment? | |
| I do not know. | |
| Alright. Should we take a pause? | |
| The pause that refreshes? | |
| Wait a minute. Something sounds bad! | |
| I shouldn't be changing settings! | |
| Alright. Oh, one of these dudes. | |
| Okay. That was not impressive. | |
| Too busy playing with the chat and not enough time playing catch-a-frag with the monsters. | |
| Don't give up. You can do it. | |
| It's really actually very nice to see all of this. | |
| Take this time to learn the dash. | |
| Okay, give it a try. Hold right click, then left click while zoomed in. | |
| Oh, wait. How do I zoom in? | |
| This is going to be... | |
| Oh, you guys get to see the very exciting stuff of me figuring out what my controls. | |
| So I need to customize here. | |
| So what's my zoom here? Move forward. | |
| Move back. Got that. Jump. | |
| Got that. Dash. | |
| Right shift. Fire weapon. | |
| Left click. Weapon mod. | |
| Melee. Glory. Kill. I got that. | |
| Chainsaw. Page down. | |
| Equipment launcher. Oh, right control. | |
| Flame belch. That's the end. | |
| I don't know what the crucible is, but I'm sort of feeling it should be something else. | |
| Alright, switch weapon, weapon mod. | |
| Oh, F! Oh, switch weapon mod! | |
| I need that, right? Okay. What should we make it? | |
| Let's make it the one key. | |
| Oh, here we go. | |
| Here we go. | |
| Here we go. | |
| So that switches my weapon mod there. | |
| I don't have a weapon mod for that. | |
| Is this my sticky bombs? | |
|
Giblets And Blocky Echo
00:10:34
|
|
| I don't know. Let's find out. | |
| Alright, so yeah, I didn't even switch weapon mods. | |
| I can certainly see why I was giving some of my more dedicated fans. | |
| These guys are just like free ammo, right? | |
| Okay. | |
| Not if you can't hit them, or refuse to hit them for some vague reason. | |
| Are you coming back? Hey, come and play. | |
| No? No? Oh, low ammo. | |
| That means it's chainsaw time. | |
| Time to use Arkham's razor to get myself some ammo. | |
| Do you hear it? What was that movie? | |
| You guys can remind me of this movie. | |
| What was the movie where... | |
| Oh, I'm a cat. | |
| I'm a cat. Push things over. | |
| And shoot them as they go. Yeah, let's waste ammo that way. | |
| That seems like a good idea. What was the movie where... | |
| Was it Full Metal Jacket? | |
| Where the helicopter guy is asked, well, how can you shoot women and children? | |
| He's like, easy! Just give him a bit more lead! | |
| See, this is why I can't take Minecraft, man. | |
| That is some seriously blocky stuff. | |
| Dash refill. Whoa. | |
| Oh, come on! Don't give me this Rayman stuff! | |
| I just want to shoot stuff! All right. | |
| Grab a dash refill to completely refill the dash meter to get across large dash... | |
| Oh, boy. Now, there was some dude up here, though. | |
| Can I get up here? Can we climb up? | |
| Is there a secret spot? | |
| Oh, hey! Don't cheat me, people! | |
| I could jump that! | |
| That was a programming cheat, I've got to tell you. | |
| As a programmer, I can call it. | |
| Look at this. I come in my own defense. | |
| I should be able to jump to that, but it won't let me. | |
| For reasons best known to the programmers, otherwise known as we're too lazy to put something over there. | |
| Ah, okay. And now what? | |
| Wait, is that where we came from? | |
| Uh... | |
| Ah! | |
| What the... | |
| Okay. Low health. | |
| Excellent. If you jump down that really steep cliff, you find a secret. | |
| Oh, what, back here? Secret, secret. | |
| I got a secret. Is it this one? | |
| There's a secret down here? | |
| Oh, are you trolling me, dude? | |
| Are you trolling me, bro? | |
| Call Faith Goldie for reinforcements. | |
| Yeah, they should be pretty good at this. | |
| Oh, what's down here? | |
| Oh, I can't get there though, right? | |
| I have to do that funky jump thing. | |
| That's where I came from. | |
| Alright. Yeah, there's nothing down there, right? | |
| Alright. Here we go. | |
| All right. | |
| Oh, I can get there, right? | |
| Come on. | |
| Let me up! Let me up! | |
| There we go. Alright. Ooh! | |
| Ooh! This looks like something that won't kill me for once in this game. | |
| Alright, what do we get? Oh, wait! | |
| Don't take a sip of coffee. | |
| Oh, I actually need health a little bit. | |
| Oh my gosh. Giblets! | |
| Giblets! Alright. Alright. | |
| How's the framework, by the way? | |
| Sticky bomb the flying guys? | |
| Oh yeah, so now I've got this mod thing, right? | |
| But which mod do I have? | |
| Oh, sorry to be such a... | |
| Oh, is there something down there? | |
| You guys got to tell me. | |
| You wouldn't lie to me, would you? | |
| You wouldn't lie to me. | |
| Should I go down? Should I go down? | |
| Oh, I'm just waiting for the chat to fire up here. | |
| I feel like there's stuff... | |
| This is really quite a layout here. | |
| Man. Oh, now I want some ribs. | |
| That's where you came from. Oh, okay. | |
| Thanks. All right. | |
| I'll just follow the train track. | |
| I know the programmers want me to go a certain way. | |
| All right. Green light. | |
| The floor is lava. | |
| Breadcrumbs! Kibble! | |
| I will go this way. This is like the worst hell ever. | |
| It's kind of like Britney Spears. | |
| Oh! Dad joke. Told you we're getting some. | |
| Told you. I warned you. | |
| I warned you. Okay, that's where I came from, right? | |
| Okay, so... | |
| I like the plasma, dude. | |
| Now, I don't have a mod for this, right? | |
| No. My god, I feel like I'm just going through a museum of modern art here. | |
| Oh, my thumb hurts sometimes, too. | |
| All right. Carpal Tunnel. | |
| I have a feeling we are going into the demon belly. | |
| Into the belly of the beast. | |
| Like going to Los Angeles. | |
| Alright, here we go. What have we got here? | |
| I need to do something with this. | |
| Ooh, message. | |
| Oh, I'm missing the cutscene. | |
| Okay. | |
| Alright, I will do a chat from now. | |
| Good. Alright. | |
| Sorry, I missed something. What happened? | |
| What is going on here? | |
| Am I supposed to go into the River of Doom with the cryptic writing? | |
| Swiss Corona. Alright. | |
| Did I miss anything? | |
| This is all places... | |
| Oh, this is all places I came from, right? | |
| Alright. Alright, fine. | |
| I'll go in here. Whee! | |
| Alright, now I am going... | |
| Oh, it's burping at me! | |
| Ew, gross. So this is what it's like going down on a woman in her 30s. | |
| Echo! Echo! | |
| Echo. Alright, here we go. | |
| Yeah, yeah. I guess I'm supposed to jump. | |
| There's nothing else funky around here that I can get, right? | |
| Oh, look at that reflection. Oh, that's just beautiful art, I'm telling you. | |
| Oh, this was not my view out. | |
| Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. | |
| This might have been your view out with forceps, but let me tell you why. | |
| I was a C-section baby, so I... Well, like I said, I was kind of a knife and I was coming through a hole with blood in it, but yeah, I'm just getting all these deja vus. | |
| All right. Whee! | |
| This is going to be totally safe. | |
| All right. Oh, now there is no... | |
| Oh, this is the slow-moving stuff, right? | |
| Whoa! Hey! Oh, man. | |
| I can't believe I forgot about these dudes. | |
| I don't even get any health from these guys, right? | |
| Alright. Punch this. | |
| Alright. Let's get a little bit of health back. | |
| This is like the free stuff, right? | |
| It gets you your... | |
| Get your ammo. | |
| That is a lot of ammo, man. | |
| Oh. What the heck was that? | |
| Bye-bye. Yeah, I got it now, baby! | |
| I got it going on! | |
| Giblets! Wait, something moved. | |
| Jumpy game! Jumpy game! | |
| Oh, come on! | |
| What is this? You've got to be kidding me! | |
| This is like the worst Chuck E. Cheese ever! | |
| Alright. Okay. | |
| The floor is lava and the jumping rope is death lava. | |
| What the... Oh, we can handle this. | |
| We got it. We got this. | |
| Oh, yeah, we don't got this, though. | |
| Get some cheap health. | |
| I'm going to go. | |
| Get some more cheap health. | |
| I should not have done that better. | |
| Get some ammo. | |
| Get some more health. | |
| What have we got? There was still a guy here, wasn't there? | |
| Wasn't there? Wasn't there? Oh, did he fall down? | |
| Oh, zombie fall down. | |
| All right. | |
| Weapon point acquired. | |
| Does that mean I'm safe for a moment? | |
| What the? That was a noise. | |
| That wasn't my belly, was it? I'm not that hungry, actually. | |
| Did you guys find that you're eating less or more under quarantine? | |
| Oh, I left something behind there. | |
| Oh, I need that, right? I should go get that. | |
| Do you find... You know what? I actually find I'm exercising more and eating less. | |
| All right. We'll get some tasty little treats here. | |
| Get a helmet. Helmet Snyborg! | |
| All right. Is that it? | |
| Did I get it all? Less poor food choices, though. | |
| Yeah, this is the time. | |
| This is the time that we have time, right? | |
| I mean, it's... Again, it's not that change. | |
| I have to be homeschooling my kid and... | |
| All that. And work from home and all that. | |
| But you know what is new for this? | |
| You know what is new for me? | |
| It is new for me chatting with you guys while I play a video game. | |
| That is like so new I can't even tell you. | |
| I just can't even tell you. | |
| Did you guys even see the... | |
| I think I got these guys now. | |
| See, I got a little bit of space to move around, and we're okay. | |
| Now, that usually distracts you from, like, the millions of other guys coming. | |
| All right. What is my mod here, though? | |
| Okay, so something down here switches. | |
|
Invisible Enemies
00:07:13
|
|
| I'm sorry to be so complainy, but, uh... | |
| Hey, that's how I roll. | |
| What, are these guys alive? | |
| Oh, my gosh, it's Kevin Federline. | |
| Backup dancer for Britney Spears! | |
| All right, um... | |
| Should I get ammo? Yeah, yeah, come on. | |
| Come on. Get ourselves a little ammo. | |
| Yeah, because I don't need any health, right? | |
| Oh, this just means the ammo is full, right? | |
| Oh, fine. I'll get a little of this stuff. | |
| Press tab for mod? | |
| No, tab. What the... | |
| Okay. | |
| Oh, tab is a map. I don't need no map! | |
| I worked in the woods. | |
| Alright. It's nice having a little bit of tiny calm after the frantic part of the... | |
| What the... There's all these weird burpee sounds coming. | |
| That's not me, right? It would be great to have you guys on audio so that you could scream instructions to me in a very helpful way. | |
| I do that with my daughter when she's playing games. | |
| She finds it super helpful. Left, right, up, down! | |
| Oh, does it not want me to jump there? | |
| Really? Oh, that's full. | |
| I went over there, right? Okay, well, this is where I came from. | |
| I feel like I should be doing something with that, but I probably can't, right? | |
| Okay. Oh, you can't jump up here because of the spikes, right? | |
| Okay, yeah, fine. But I'm supposed to do something with this box, aren't I? I sort of feel like I should. | |
| Can I punch it? Yes, I can. | |
| Okay. Yeah, they don't just have the box lying around from nowhere, right? | |
| So I moved over here. Does that mean I can use this to get somewhere? | |
| Does not look like it. And that's what a colonoscopy should not look like. | |
| All right. Okay. | |
| Can I go around here and get up on the other side? | |
| Sorry, I'm a bit of an explorer with these games. | |
| Oh! Wait a minute. | |
| That looks like something kind of important. | |
| Oh, so I'm supposed to jump up somehow and get that punchy thing, right? | |
| The pole to your right, jump on it. | |
| I'm not sure how the... | |
| Let me just explore a little more, and then we'll see if we can come back. | |
| But I assume I'm supposed to get up there. | |
| Oh, that's where I have to get up. | |
| Okay. Can I get up here at all? | |
| Oh, you got your invisible bars of lazy programming. | |
| Oh, come on. | |
| Should be able to get up there. | |
| It's not like a horse on Skyrim. | |
| Alright, so there's a puzzle trap here, right? | |
| So this is some kind of intelligence test. | |
| Oh, can I just move this once? | |
| No, I think so, right? | |
| Okay, so I gotta get up here. | |
| But now what? Oh, I gotta... | |
| Do I have to jump and then... | |
| Oh my gosh, that's crazy. | |
| I gotta jump and spin? | |
| Alright, help me out, my friends. | |
| Use the box to get the high ground to jump even higher ground using your dash ability. | |
| But where is the high ground from here? | |
| Alright. So this is a refill of the jumpy thing, right? | |
| The dash thing? That's a refill, right? | |
| So, I have to get up here. | |
| And I guess I've got to get up here, but then I've got to turn and dash? | |
| That's crazy! Jump, dash, dash, jump, jump. | |
| Swing on the ledge to the right. | |
| Thank Mirror's Edge for this. | |
| Oh, that's another jumping game, right? | |
| Oh! Oh, I see. | |
| Oh, okay. Alright, thank you. | |
| Alright, cutscene. | |
| Coffee time. We're all going to get the cold bug virus and die while you play video games? | |
| Hey, while you're in here, you're not outside. | |
| I am saving lives. | |
| I am eliminating the dorm demon horde, but I am saving the glorious lives of the listeners and supporters. | |
| Our philosophy through Free Domain. | |
| Radio. No, just Free Domain. | |
| Oh, yeah, we're getting closer to that. | |
| All right, we don't have ominous death thrash music, so we should be okay. | |
| I got to jump over to that, right? | |
| And this is where babies come from. | |
| All right. Hello, Zinc Man. | |
| Use right-click to use your aim with your mod. | |
| No, I don't think that's it. | |
| See, I feel like I just keep wasting ammo doing this stuff. | |
| Alright. Now what? | |
| Do I climb out on there? | |
| Oh, I'm going to get invisible lines that I can't go up here, right? | |
| No. Alright. I don't want to go back because I feel like that's cheating. | |
| Alright, can I go down here? Alright. | |
| Oh! Come on! | |
| Alright, I need to go back here, right? | |
| Oh, did that open? Oh, okay, so I have to go around here, right? | |
| Oh, man. Oh, sorry. | |
| Now you get to see my reaction times of a coma patient. | |
| All right, here we go. Can I get up here? | |
| Oh, because of the barriers? | |
| Oh, come on. More invisible lines of bad programming. | |
| All right, we can jump here, though, right? | |
| Can we get up here? Oh, come on. | |
| Oh, well, I just got a tiny smidge of health. | |
| Uh, is this where I came from? | |
| Yeah, that's where I came from. | |
| Alright. So, I gotta get up. | |
| Can I get up here? Oh, it doesn't let me jump with my fingers in the sticky goo, right? | |
| Alright. Use them, okay. | |
| Alright, let's keep going. | |
| Uh, oh, these don't let me fill over, right? | |
| I need me some marshmallows! | |
| Alright. Oh, Lord. | |
| I, you know, I'm not a huge fan of these. | |
| Now, hang on. All right. | |
| I'm not a huge fan of these, like, you jumpy-jump stuff, and then if you miss it, you have to crawl around six miles ahead. | |
| All right. So, I'm sure everybody will be super helpful with me here. | |
| Oh, I see. There's another thing to jump, right? | |
| Okay. So, I gotta... | |
| Do I have to go from here? | |
| Okay. Do I? Do I? And then I have to jump again, right? | |
| Oh, man. Come on. | |
| This is going to be horrible. Monkey bar. | |
| Monkey bar. But I go from here, right? | |
| And I use my soupy zoom. | |
| Oh, this isn't going to work out well, my friends. | |
| All right. Let's just pretend it's a debate. | |
| Okay. Are you ready? I'm going to miss, right? | |
| I'm going to miss. All right. Let's try. Let's try. | |
| Hey, could happen. Could happen. | |
| All right. Let me just get my keystrokes. | |
| So I've got to zoom. Oh, come on! | |
| Where was my zoom there? | |
| Oh, I hit the keystroke. | |
| I'm telling you, you could probably hear it in the background. | |
| You probably could. You probably could. | |
| All right. Well, let's do this again. | |
| Oh, lordy. Oh, that missed. | |
| Oh! I'm now in too much of a hurry to do any good. | |
|
Bouncy Jumps and Far Distances
00:11:16
|
|
| Haste makes waste. All right. | |
| Let's go around again. Can I get up here? | |
| No, this is the invisible thing, right? | |
| So I'm going to get around here. All right. | |
| We'll get there. Smash it harder. | |
| Double jump and I would have made it. | |
| Well, you're probably right. | |
| Alright. I can at least go a little faster here, right? | |
| Alright. Alright. | |
| Here we go, here we go. | |
| We're going up, we're going up. | |
| Wow, that does refill pretty quickly, doesn't it? | |
| Alright. Alright. | |
| Here we go! Cliff distance is not an argument. | |
| Don't jump too quickly at the same time. | |
| You waste height. It's a worst level game. | |
| Yeah, this sticky stuff and these jumpy jump things. | |
| Basically, I did not come to Doom for puzzles. | |
| I came to Doom for shredding demons with chainsaws. | |
| Space your dashes. | |
| All right. Power core on the left first? | |
| No, I did that. I did the power core thing. | |
| Yeah, no, that's a good thing, though, if you've just joined. | |
| Okay, so I have to jump, dash, go up, and time the dashes. | |
| All right. Oh, look at that! | |
| Second time lucky. It wasn't luck. | |
| Okay, now I'm going to remember that there are these tentacle dudes, right? | |
| Oh, yeah. Oh, give me the glue. | |
| Oh, there we go. Oh, there's some reflexes for you, baby. | |
| Ah, select Sentinel Crystal. | |
| Okay, what should I do? What should I do? | |
| Napalm Belch. No, I shouldn't do that. | |
| I haven't had any biryani lately. | |
| All right, Belch Armor Boost. | |
| Demon's Rock Armor at a faster rate. | |
| I like the Luke Magnet. | |
| All health pickups contribute to Blood Punch. | |
| Oh, I haven't been using that, right? | |
| Okay. What do you guys think I should do? | |
| Clutch. Belch. Blow me. | |
| He made it. I think you blow people, then they make it. | |
| All right. Belch is awesome. | |
| Quick draw Belch. | |
| Flame Belch. Oh, is that the thing that's on my shoulder? | |
| Okay, let's unlock that. | |
| And armor upgraded. | |
| Nice. I'm going to build me Superman's castle, because the only account of Superman after he studies philosophy under the tender gaze of Marlon Brando. | |
| All right. So the one time I remember about the tentacle guys, they aren't there at all. | |
| Isn't that just the way life goes? | |
| Alright. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. | |
| Hey, don't wrench my perspective! | |
| Uh... Oh. | |
| Oh, come on, are they falling things now? | |
| Don't steal my eyeballs. | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Now, what's my long-distance weapon here? | |
| Yeah, I've backed away. | |
| You can't see me. Stop it. | |
| Alright. Brando is gay. | |
| Was probably one of the worst fathers in existence. | |
| Sticky bomb? Oh, good point. | |
| Oh, I missed with my sticky bomb! | |
| When does that... | |
| Oh, that's on the bottom right. | |
| The sticky bomb is... | |
| Okay, that's the grenade thing, right? | |
| Oh... Switch to your rifle. | |
| What is the rifle? I don't know what the rifle is. | |
| No mod activated. | |
| That is not a sticky bomb. | |
| Or cannon sniper. | |
| Alright, I'm sorry. | |
| I'm losing... I'm just gonna get close. | |
| Zoom! I do not zoom. | |
| Whoa! That was sad. | |
| I hope that nobody ever gives that. | |
| That was truly, truly pathetic to be that close. | |
| You know, I really feel like I should have used some other kind of weapon. | |
| Sorry, you guys are giving me good advice. | |
| I'm just not taking it. Hey. | |
| Ooh, that's close to the edge. | |
| Close to the edge, down by the river. | |
| Seasons will pass me by. | |
| That guy can sing, but man, has he got a high voice. | |
| All right. Ooh, chocolate! | |
| It's hell chocolate. Well, chocolate is hell. | |
| Because it's very good and very bad. | |
| Alright, so that's a bouncy up thing, right? | |
| Okay, so if I go down here, is there something cool that I can get? | |
| Other than vaguely hypnotized? | |
| Alright, no, it does not. Whoa! | |
| Whoa! Dudes! | |
| That is high. I can't believe there's a banner here. | |
| That is pretty funny. We're going to call it Steve Banner, and we're going to talk endlessly about... | |
| The pandemic. Hey, who am I to talk? | |
| Alright, so... | |
| I'm fully up on that. | |
| I got no mods on that. | |
| I got a mod on here, but I don't know what it does. | |
| Alright. Look behind the gate by the bouncy thing. | |
| To use mods, hold right click, then left click. | |
| Okay, you know what? I promise you I will try that on the next monster. | |
| That's not going to totally get me killed. | |
| Oh, there was another lazy programmer thing. | |
| Did you see that? I fell right through stuff. | |
| Okay, I look behind this gate. | |
| Can I get around there at all? I feel like I should. | |
| I feel... Oh, there we go. | |
| I haven't gone here, right? Ooh. | |
| Oh, oh! What the heck was going off there? | |
| Oh, man! I got bouncy, jumpy things. | |
| Okay, so I got to jump from here, and then... | |
| Okay. There we go. | |
| Oh! Oh! No! | |
| Too low! Low health! | |
| I'm going to jump forever, but not make it! | |
| There's no way it's going to let me survive here, is it? | |
| Oh my, it did. | |
| Yeah, kind of backed into a corner here. | |
| Nothing like talking about racing IQ, though. | |
| All right. Oh, oh, can I survive? | |
| No. Dead? | |
| Am I dead? Okay. Let's try that again. | |
| All right. Oh, come on! | |
| Are you giving me a health of one here? | |
| Really? Really? | |
| I feel like I'm watching Dad play Xbox. | |
| Yeah. Nailed it. | |
| Well, I guess the chat's a little far behind if you feel like I nailed it. | |
| All right. I'm doomed here, right? Okay. | |
| Oh. I just died. | |
| All right. Let's do one more. | |
| One more life. And then we will get on with our previously assigned day. | |
| Hopefully it's not going to put me too far back. | |
| Alright, yeah, not too far back. | |
| Whoa. Oh yeah, these dudes come on, they fall down. | |
| Terminated, yeah, that's true, right? | |
| Oh, um... | |
| See, I tried my alt fire, and nothing happened. | |
| Maybe I've got the wrong alt on. | |
| Oh! Oh, lord! | |
| Oh, lordy! Okay, so if I drop down here, does he come down? | |
| Whoa! Does he come down? | |
| Will he jump down? Oh, yeah, I'm doomed here. | |
| This could be it, my friends. Ooh, very bad, very bad. | |
| Okay, was there anyone down here I could get? | |
| Not really now, eh? Whoa! | |
| How did I miss that? Oh, I forgot to use my zoom. | |
| Alright. Alright! | |
| Next level is an Unreal Tournament server. | |
| Oh, that was... Okay, I'll do one more. | |
| I'll do one more. I would normally play this long, but hey, you guys are too much fun. | |
| Alright. Alright. | |
| One more, and then we will stop for the day. | |
| Because I've got another interview to get ready for. | |
| Right to skip. R to skip. | |
| Yeah, yeah, okay. Alright, so explain this to me. | |
| I cannot figure this out. I'm sorry about this. | |
| Okay. So I hold down the right, the right key. | |
| Now, how do I zoom? That's my question. | |
| Okay. Oh, these are my missiles, right? | |
| Okay, so let this go. | |
| Hold the right mouse. No, I get that. | |
| I get that. Hold right, click. | |
| And then what? That is the zoom. | |
| Wait, did that do something useful? | |
| Okay. Is this a distance weapon now? | |
| That's full auto. You're on auto mod. | |
| Okay, so if I change my mod Now what do I get? | |
| That must be automatic That's just the rapid fire Okay, so then this... | |
| Shotgun has sticky bombs or full auto for second mode. | |
| Heavy cannon. | |
| What is the heavy cannon? | |
| Just hold right click, then left click. | |
| This is your sticky bomb. | |
| Okay, I like the sticky bomb. | |
| All right. | |
| He doesn't have the heavy cannon mod. . | |
| Thank you. | |
| Gotta hold alt-fire to shoot mod with primary fire. | |
| No, I get that. Heavy cannon is the red blaster. | |
| You guys are my strategy guide. | |
| Okay, I got no mod on this dude, right? | |
| Alright. Okay, you know what? | |
| I've still got to figure this out, right? | |
| Because it seems like I should know this, right? | |
| Okay, so this shotgun doesn't help me at all, right? | |
| I think you only have mods on the shotgun. | |
| You don't have a plasma cannon mod. | |
| Can I swap them around? Alt F4 for special weapon. | |
| Hey! Hey! | |
| Hey! This gun has a zoom. | |
| I don't know, does it? Alright, you know what? | |
| I love it, but I'm going to have to... | |
| Throw a sticky bomb on top of the sky at Spider. | |
| uh So I'm on the shotgun. | |
|
Behind The Door
00:02:41
|
|
| I get that. | |
| Oh, you're going to need me some ammo, right? | |
| Oh, you're going to need me some ammo. you're going to need me some ammo. | |
| I didn't deserve that either, but it's kind of tight in here, right? | |
| Okay, so I got me some ammo, and I got me some health. | |
| And I'm gonna go and die on the jumpy bits now. | |
| Alright, anything over here? | |
| Oh, this is just the way back up, right? | |
| Okay. Now, I feel like there should be something down here. | |
| Okay, let's go down here once more. | |
| And stay off there. | |
| Okay, is there anything with the... | |
| Oops. No, that's not what I was looking for. | |
| Okay, let's go back down. | |
| Let's go back down, and... | |
| I really feel that... | |
| Yeah, I think people are asking me to zoom when I don't have this particular mod. | |
| Okay, is there anything I can shoot? | |
| Anything I can punch? They wouldn't build this thing down here if there was no reason, right? | |
| So, help me out, my friends. | |
| Alright, and if you ever want to figure out... | |
| Oh, come on. | |
| I don't want to go this high. If you ever want to figure out my final death words, I will tell you what they're going to be. | |
| Pop the disc. And then I will also tell you what this means. | |
| So, pop the disc refers to when I used to play this game. | |
| I played it with a friend of mine when I was in my early teens called Ultima 3. | |
| It was a Lord British game. | |
| It was pretty good, actually. It was pretty good. | |
| And we could not figure out how to finish the game. | |
| And as it turns out, you had to allow yourself, when you were in a ship, to be sucked down a water spout in order to finish the game. | |
| Which was, you know, not the... | |
| Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. | |
| Okay, that's good. It was not the most intuitive thing. | |
| Ultima 3, yeah, yeah. So, we played Ultima 3, never finished the game, because we never let our ship... | |
| Get sucked down the whirlpool. | |
| Now, the reason we never let our ship get sucked down the whirlpool, the way we avoided it, was you just pop the disc, right? | |
| So you pop the disc and you don't die. | |
| So if I'm ever on my deathbed and I tell someone to pop the disc, you'll know what it means. | |
| Ooh, that was not super helpful. | |
| Oh, my spinning golem head. | |
|
Finding the Key
00:06:42
|
|
| Are you my conscience? | |
| All right, there we go. What did I get? | |
| What did I get? An extra life... | |
| Oh! This is behind the door! | |
| What's behind door number? | |
| All right. So now what? | |
| Oh, I've got to go back out this way? | |
| All right. All right. | |
| Look at that! Stellar! | |
| This could actually be super helpful because I'm going to need this, right? | |
| Okay. So this... | |
| Can I start from here? Yes, I should start from here, right? | |
| Now this, you have no chance here, right? | |
| So this, I've got to just do multiple jumps and turns and spins, right? | |
| right? | |
| Uh, where do I go? | |
| Oh my! | |
| I made it. | |
| it. | |
| Oh, oh, bad things, bad things. | |
| No, no, no, no, no! | |
| Ah! | |
| Ah! | |
| Thank you. | |
| Do I... Uh... | |
| Uh... Did I survive? | |
| I guess I did. Uh... | |
| Daddy's gonna need some health! | |
| Did I earn that? Yes, I think I should use a sticky bomb when the mouth is open, right? | |
| Okay. That sounds like a promise I made to a girlfriend when I was in my teens. | |
| All right. A little health, a little health. | |
| Whoa, whoa, whoa. Something alive, something alive. | |
| Whoa, whoa, whoa. Something's moving. | |
| All right, all right. Something else coming? | |
| Whoa. Dude, so rude. | |
| All right, let's let them do their thing and let me... | |
| Oh, oh, little secret back here. | |
| I saw it, I saw it, I saw it. | |
| Oh, we will take that. | |
| Whoa, no, no, no, no. What the... | |
| I accidentally threw a bomb. | |
| This is where I started, right? | |
| Okay. Up the wall. | |
| All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. | |
| Daddy's flown across the ocean. | |
| Slayer Gate! Uh... | |
| Should I? Intense encounters. | |
| Alright, I'll tell you what. | |
| I'm not going to do that unless I find the key. | |
| Did I just find the key? Let's go here. | |
| Okay, there were still dudes here, right? | |
| There were. Oh, doody dudes! | |
| I've got your lead food for you. | |
| Come on, my friends! | |
| Come on out! Time to play! | |
| Uh... Now I want some raisins. | |
| Oh, that's right. It's a current joke. | |
| Okay, let's go back and have a look, because I thought there were dudes here. | |
| I didn't think I got them all. | |
| Oh. Oh. | |
| Oh! Always check the ceiling, right? | |
| Oh, so I've got to go over here. | |
| Go up here. Oh, yeah. | |
| Oh! So close, so close. | |
| I'll move my butt like that's going to do any good. | |
| Will I be talking to Dave Smith again? | |
| Sure I will. I like me some Dave Smith. | |
| Okay, did I get that? | |
| Wait, no I didn't. Okay, hang on. | |
| Alright, sorry about this. | |
| Getting a little obsessive here, but it's worth it. | |
| Uh... Oh, come on. | |
| I've got to pause that, right? | |
| I have to pause that, I think. | |
| Squeeze them buttocks. | |
| Yes, indeed. I must go higher. | |
| Yes. Thank you. | |
| That is very helpful. I appreciate that. | |
| That is very important. | |
| I must go higher. Oh, that was just wrong. | |
| That should have given that to me, right? | |
| They've got little... I don't know. | |
| I'm not going to call them glitches, because those are the annoying people when I was a kid. | |
| You need to go out and through that opening ledge from the other side? | |
| Really? Aim at the target. | |
| Yeah, thanks. Jump from the very edge of the ledge. | |
| Ah, okay. Oh, okay. | |
| That we already got, right? | |
| And so now we get this thing, right? | |
| Why do I feel like this is underwhelming? | |
| Jump onto the Heath Ledger. | |
| A philosopher in the street and a gamer in bed. | |
| You missed the key. Go back. | |
| Did I miss the key? Okay, I'll go back. | |
| I thought I was supposed to get that thing going up, but I'm clearly not, so let's try this. | |
| Ah, I will be patient. | |
| I will be patient. I clearly need whatever goodies are up here, right? | |
| Alright. Was there a key out here on the ledge? | |
| Is that what you're saying? Do you want me to seduce you? | |
| Is that what you're trying to tell me? | |
| Uh... Did I get the thing? | |
| The key is below the ledge you were on before. | |
| Uh... Oh, jeez. | |
| I thought I'd already got there. Ah, the Unmaker. | |
| I don't know that I want to get the Unmaker. | |
| The Unmaker. That's why it's known as me in bed. | |
| All right. Because... | |
| Oh, I see. So now I'm supposed to go down in here. | |
| And... That is a big key, man. | |
| Sorry, I thought that was a spot I'd already gone to. | |
| Friendies? Friendies? Now, does this give me something that's going to give me a Zoom? | |
| Whoa. The more I stare at this, the more I feel like donating. | |
| I'm going to get R-A-P-E-D so hard. | |
| Really? It doubles as a sex toy? | |
| I don't know what that means. | |
|
Bad Things, Bad Things
00:14:14
|
|
| All right. Three weapon points. | |
| Is this good? Is this bad? | |
| Do I think interracial marriage is immoral? | |
| No. Of course not. It's not a violation of the non-aggression principle. | |
| All right. Prepare your A-N-U-S. Five dollars, he will die? | |
| This is awesome. Maybe this is the one place where you get hugs, puppies, and freshly minted unicorns in the game. | |
| All right. Hang on. Ah! | |
| Oh, that's where I came from, right? Do you know where you're going to? | |
| All right. I punched this. Let's do it. | |
| Come on! Uh, things have gone white. | |
| Oh. | |
| Oh. | |
| Oh, I believe I want all of this good stuff though, right? | |
| Is there any chance I'm making it out of this? | |
| Not really, eh? I don't think so. | |
| But you know what? | |
| It might be fun going down. | |
| Oh, I bet you we want to go through this, right? | |
| Warpy Warp. | |
| We're happy with that, right? | |
| Oh, he's already dead. | |
| Well, I guess they're all already dead technically, right? | |
| Oh, oh, bad things, bad things. | |
| Oh, that's handy. | |
| I feel like I should be varying up my weapons usage. | |
| What do you guys think? Whoa, dude. | |
| Go backwards until you can't. | |
| That's always my... Oh, fly! | |
| Be free! Whoa. | |
| Uh-huh. Oh, oh, oh, let's get some health. | |
| Oh, come on! | |
| That close to the health? | |
| Oh, okay, that's rank, man. | |
| That's rank. Do I get another chance at this thing or what? | |
| Uh, yes. Uh, yeah, yeah, okay. | |
| One more, one more, one more. | |
| Not bad, not bad. | |
| This is Trump strafe, damn you. | |
| Yeah, yeah, no kidding, eh? Ooh, I should have saved that for worse guys, right? | |
| See, it doesn't start off too bad, right? | |
| But I need to use all of my cunning and skill. | |
| And ammo is a big deal, right? | |
| That we need. | |
| Okay, wait till dudes come here. | |
| Ooh, blood punch. | |
| Yeah, I got a ram of that dude, right? | |
| Ooh, I don't need that health yet, right? | |
| Okay. | |
| Ooh, I should have been saving that for health. | |
| Yeah, there we go. No, don't want that health yet. | |
| Oh. Uh, fire? | |
| Fire in the hole! Uh, this is not gonna go well. | |
| Oh. Uh, things are getting progressively... | |
| Ooh, blow that dude up, right? | |
| That's got to give me some health. | |
| And let's get up here. Oh, missed that. | |
| Let's get that health. Alright. | |
| Not too bad, not too bad, right? | |
| right? | |
| Oh, we're going to need some health. | |
| Oh, let's get that health. | |
| Come on, don't let me die this close to the health! | |
| Oh, boy. Let's just do a lot of running away right now. | |
| What do you think? Missiles incoming? | |
| In a good way? Oh, let's run away from here. | |
| I got a feeling I should go be back down in here, right? | |
| Oh! That is good, man. | |
| That is a good level. That is a good level. | |
| Oh, oh, you're right. | |
| I should use my dash, right? | |
| Oh, I completely forgot. Okay, one more time, one more time, one more time. | |
| Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. | |
| I appreciate the reminders. | |
| I appreciate the reminders. | |
| Oh, I've got to move my mousepad back too. | |
| Alright. Get that health, Get that health. | |
| Get that. | |
| Get a little blood punching action in. | |
| Go down into the swamp water here. | |
| And whee! | |
| Oh. | |
| Oh, that was a bad idea. | |
| See something, I shoot it. | |
| If it makes no sense, that's too bad. | |
| I'll take that health. | |
| That's only 25? Oh, rip off, man. | |
| Alright, so I want to wait for these guys to gather a little, right? | |
| Get a little bit of that. | |
| Oh, get away from there. | |
| Oh, I haven't been up here, have I? Oh, there's good stuff here. | |
| Oh, I shouldn't have wasted that health. | |
| But I will certainly get the plasma thing, because I like the plasma thing. | |
| Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, okay. | |
| Can I kick this someplace? | |
| That's not doing me much good. | |
| Oh, bad. Bad things. | |
| Oh, does this health regenerate? | |
| I mean, does this stuff regenerate? | |
| Oh, no, no. | |
| Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. | |
| Oh, get health, get health, get health. | |
| Get away, get away. | |
| All right, so let's go flying into some place. | |
| That is going to be bad for us, I'm sure. | |
| Oh, these dudes seem to be, like, kind of impossible to kill, all right? | |
| Oh, my. Yeah, this is going to go badly, right? | |
| Yeah, yeah. Whoa, did I just go flying here? | |
| And let's go find some health. | |
| Oh, what's going on here? | |
| Am I stuck? Yes. Am I going to get any health? | |
| Let's find out. Oh, there's a little bit of health. | |
| I will suck that up like a $2 whore. | |
| Okay. I'm going to need to get this guy, right? | |
| Okay. Okay, I can't do this many here, right? | |
| Ooh, uh, out of good weapons. | |
| A little health here. | |
| A little health here, a little ammo. | |
| Alright, we're getting somewhere. | |
| Oh, no, we're not getting good things there. | |
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | |
| I can't die now. | |
| Oh. | |
| Alright, let's go back to Plasma Dude. | |
| I don't get the feeling I'm getting a whole lot more health here, and I'm going to need some low-level dude to give me health, right? | |
| Are there any low-level dudes around? | |
| I don't think so. | |
| I'll go around here. I don't think any of this stuff regenerates now, does it? | |
| Alright, come on, low-level dude. | |
| There we go. That's what I need. | |
| And I need another low-level dude or two. | |
| I'm not getting him from there, right? | |
| Oh, high-level dude. | |
| dude. | |
| I will take him. | |
| And we're back to health again. | |
| Oh, jeez. | |
| I thought I got him. | |
| Oh, what the? What even hit me? | |
| I do not, dude. All right. | |
| I'll tell you what. I will stop here. | |
| Should we do one more? What do you guys think? | |
| I'll let you guys vote. One more? | |
| One more? You let me know. | |
| Can we get an F in the chat for Steph? | |
| Nice try. Yes or no? | |
| One more? One more. | |
| You let me know. Remember to dash. | |
| Yes, thank you for the reminder. One more. | |
| Yes. Okay, I can do it. | |
| Thanks, guys. I appreciate the enthusiasm. | |
| I believe I can do it. Plus, it's going to give me some really good stuff, right? | |
| One more. Once more, but with dash. | |
| Yes, I agree. This is actually quite... | |
| It is, you know, they're not kidding. | |
| It is quite intense. All right. | |
| Here we go. | |
| We got it. | |
| Got it. | |
| I got to hoard my health too, right? | |
| right? | |
| And I gotta get me the ammo. | |
| I like how the whole game goes on hold when you do this stuff, right? | |
| I'm not doing good. I'm not doing well holding onto my armor. | |
| armor. | |
| That's the problem. | |
| Alright. | |
| Each one down is another one you don't have to do again, right? | |
| You can't supercharge your health here either, right? | |
| Oh, that's handy, right? | |
| Oh, we'll take those little shards, right? | |
| Oh, that's handy. | |
| Oh, this dude, right? Oh man, I got him! | |
| Yay! | |
| Oh man, now there's another one. | |
| All right. | |
| Lots of sounds and bad things. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Alright, so I did get some of the big dudes, which I hadn't gotten before, right? | |
| Which is good. And I've also got a little bit of health here, which I had... | |
| Oh! What the... Oh, sorry. That wasn't a bad dude. | |
| Now, if I can lure some of the dudes here... | |
| There we go. Ooh, that's no good. | |
| Let's get away from here... | |
| Sorry, you guys had all reminded me. | |
| Ooh, that's no good. | |
| Let's get away from these dudes. | |
| Oh, health not so bad. I think I'm going to need some of the old ammo though, right? | |
| I'm still a little lost in this thing, right? | |
| Alright, look at that. | |
| So one by one, we get them down, right? | |
| Whittling them down. | |
| You gotta jump for these rockets, right? | |
| Oh, I need that. | |
| Ah! | |
| Did I get it? I think I did, right? | |
| Alright, that helped with the old health Ooh, I shouldn't have done that I needed that health. | |
| But hey. Let's get our ammo. | |
| Get our ammo on. | |
| All right. | |
| Oh, I'll get the health there. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| The health here. Look at that. | |
| that. | |
| We might be able to do it. | |
| Ooh, I should have got that health, right? | |
| How about this one? Why do I feel like we might survive? | |
| Why do I feel like we might survive? | |
|
Naked Women Slaying
00:04:10
|
|
| How much have you guys been thinking about War of the Worlds here with these viruses, right? | |
| Oh, I should have chainsawed him. | |
| Oh, look at that! | |
| Look at that! Ah! | |
| Brightness! Brightness! | |
| Oh, look at that. | |
| Stefan, the shotgun is to one-hit kill the lesser demons as long as you do headshot. | |
| I did it, baby! | |
| All right, where's my goodies? Where's my goodies? | |
| Where is my naked women for the slaying? | |
| All right. Look at this. | |
| I'm all done, so now I'm doing my zoom. | |
| Now, what do I do here? | |
| Wait, what am I supposed to get some cool stuff out of this? | |
| Uh, hang on. Uh, F? No, wait. | |
| What is it? Not tab. | |
| Um... What am I supposed to get? | |
| Uh... I got three weapon points. | |
| Okay, uh, how do I do that again? | |
| Uh... How do I get to my weapon modes? | |
| Not F? R? Uh, right. | |
| Uh, hang on a sec here. | |
| Settings. Controls. | |
| Customize layer bindings. | |
| Weapon mod. Chance of... | |
| Switch equipment. | |
| G? G or F? Okay. | |
| F. F is doing nothing for me, my friends. | |
| All right. Well, I'll tell you what. | |
| I think I'll stop here because I need to figure out the keys and I also need to figure out how to get that other stuff, right? | |
| Oh, tab? No, tab is not armor. | |
| Oh, arsenal. Oh, jeez, there you go. | |
| All right. So what do I get here? | |
| Five of these dudes? Sticky Bombs, Tab, and Arsenal. | |
| All right. I should play Tropical. | |
| That's six. Five spot. | |
| Do I want this? Oh, I don't have enough. | |
| Back. Oh, I want to do something for this dude, right? | |
| All right. | |
| I do want to unlock this, right? | |
| Why can I not unlock this? | |
| Plasma rifle. Back. | |
| Heat blast. Microwave beam? | |
| Hold mouse 2 to acquire a target. | |
| Oh, that's going to be handy. That's good. | |
| Microwave beam. Good, good, good. | |
| Look at this. Look at how I'm playing, even without having much of a clue about how the game is working. | |
| Oh, I need three for this stuff, right? | |
| So I can't do that. Ah, let me do it. | |
| Let me do it. | |
| Alright, so can I do anything? | |
| I don't think I can do anything with these, right? | |
| Yeah, I just have to hold on to these. | |
| Alright. Alright, next video. | |
| How an ANCAP society would handle COVID-19. | |
| I did. I did. | |
| What other games will I play after I finish this? | |
| I don't know. I haven't played a game in a while, so... | |
| Alright, well listen guys, thank you so much. | |
| I appreciate that, and for the love of God, try the sticky bomb with the shotgun! | |
| I will! Alright, since I'm not going back here... | |
| Oh, so I got this, right? | |
| Okay, so that's that. | |
| I do the weapon mod. So this charges up. | |
| Then what? So this is charging up, and I'm clicking the left key, but it doesn't work. | |
| Oh, you need an enemy to lock onto. | |
| All right. Well, thanks, guys. | |
| It was great fun. I appreciate the feedback, and thank you for your patience as I doomer my way through all of this stuff. | |
| This is going to be another jumping thing, so it's probably good that I don't try it right now. | |
| But, yeah, this is great. | |
| This is in my brain when I'm getting a good idea. | |
| Lots of love out there. I will talk to you guys later. | |
| Have yourself a great, great evening. | |
| And lots of love from here. | |