| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Last Time...
00:14:23
|
|
| I've come here with chainsaws and arguments, but I'm afraid that I am in fact all out of arguments. | |
| So we're going back into Doom Eternal, and I am looking forward to everyone's feedback on my gameplay. | |
| Thank you so much, everyone. | |
| Last time... For giving me all of this delightful feedback about how to play. | |
| It was very, very helpful. | |
| I'm coachable, you know? | |
| I try and sort of teach the world quite a bit, and in return, the world tries to teach me back. | |
| And that is good. | |
| Turn your mouse DPI down. | |
| The sensitivity is making you worse. | |
| Are you saying I'm too sensitive? | |
| Okay. They're making me worse? | |
| I don't know. I'm going to have to say a no on that one, if you don't mind. | |
| Right after saying I'm coachable. | |
| But hey, thank you so much for not saying even worse. | |
| That's truly delightful. | |
| And let's see here. | |
| Excellent connection. That's great. | |
| I'm going to just take people's advice and just check on the audio here. | |
| Everything's looking delightful. | |
| You bought this game because of me. | |
| Well, I suppose that's capitalism in action. | |
| And I'm happy to be doing it. | |
| All right. | |
| Let's just check the old audio here one sec. | |
| Audio is good. | |
| Yeah, apparently I found out that there are these trolls who just sit there and complain about your audio and throw you off your game. | |
| I just literally can't believe how people spend their precious and short existence. | |
| It's truly wild. | |
| Am I too tiny? | |
| Is that what you're saying? Eating demon meat to survive the virus. | |
| Yeah, I hear what you're saying. All right. | |
| All right. I will try the DPI setting, because, you know... | |
| Okay, there we go. Mouse sensitivity scaling. | |
| What, take that down? Wow, that can go up pretty high. | |
| Oh, I can't seem to change it. Why can I not change it? | |
| Oh. Okay, I will try two. | |
| Can I try two? Invert look? | |
| Yeah, I've always been an invert look kind of guy. | |
| Let's try that. Okay. | |
| This will give me all of my excuses as to why I'll be bad first on. | |
| All right. The audio is a bit glitchy. | |
| Really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you're trolling. | |
| Anybody else? No. Alright, so let us continue with our Fortress of Doom. | |
| Oh, sorry, I meant to put a little screen thing over there to say ultra nightmare level. | |
| I am a little too small. | |
| I know I'm a little squished here. | |
| It's because I've got a wide def camera and I'm kind of squishing it down because the camera audio stuff was pretty bad last time. | |
| But we will jump in. | |
| Video games are a waste of time. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Alright, hold on. I'll trust for just a moment. | |
| Let me just play here and see how the audio is. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, seems fine to me. | |
| *sad music* I have a... | |
| Let me just check here. | |
| I've got people who are listening in. | |
| Craig is going to let me know on our Discord server how the audio is. | |
| I just did a whole recording session before this, and it was fine. | |
| Audio... Okay... | |
| I'm just checking here before we start because, of course, I want to give you guys pristine and beautiful audio. | |
| Now, I do have music on in the background. | |
| This is the music of the game. | |
| That might be a tiny issue. | |
| That is better. | |
| I've changed nothing. | |
| All right. Okay, well, let's plunge in. | |
| Is the video staying relatively in sync with the audio this time? | |
| Yeah, that's better now. | |
| Alright. Good. | |
| Well, you know, we can't have... | |
| Yeah, seems okay. Alright. So let's go on with our Fortress of Doom. | |
| Yeah, I meant to actually take Hurt Me Plenty and replace it with Ultra Nightmare. | |
| Boomer Doomer level. Alright, so let's continue game. | |
| Load it up here. | |
| And. | |
| I do not have the means to locate the second hell priest. | |
| Your celestial locator is missing a component. | |
| Alright, here we go. | |
| Replace the replacement. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Portal destination confirmed. | |
| Exalter! The flame belch is now ready for your approval. | |
| Where do you want to end? | |
| Where do you want to go for dinner? Let's go to a place called the flame belch. | |
| Alright, let me just get back in the chat here. | |
| Sounds good. All right. | |
| Appreciate that. And let's go hunt ourselves some bad dudes. | |
| Okay, so there's something flickering over there. | |
| I just got to tell you, again, I like exploring a little bit. | |
| Look at that. That artistry is just amazing. | |
| Again, I started with ASCII games. | |
| So, you know, when you've had the long arc of a half century plus, you really do get a chance to see just how amazing... | |
| The art is in these games. | |
| It's just, look at that stuff hovering around and smooth it is and all that kind of stuff. | |
| I don't know. It's pretty wild. | |
| It's pretty lovely. | |
| Alright. So let's have a little bit of a look around. | |
| And, oh, there's something swirling up there. | |
| Little flame stuff here. | |
| You know, it's somebody's job to figure out how many sparks there are. | |
| And look at this. Again, it's just a little detail here that I think is kind of cool, which is when you go up close to something, your gun goes to one side. | |
| I guess they had to figure out exactly how that was going to work either, right? | |
| All the red dots are Corona. | |
| All right. | |
| And you know what's funny, too? | |
| Because last time we were having all these audio thingy things, but the chat, oddly enough, was like way behind what it is that I was doing, which was kind of strange. | |
| So. | |
| Too slow. | |
| Let's see here. | |
| I could take the resolution down a smidge, I suppose. | |
| Alright, I'm just going to check in with my other people here. | |
| It's a little off. About a second off. | |
| Alright. Well, that's okay. | |
| Alright, so here I am, of course, enjoying the spinny, hypnotic, I don't know, artificial, floating, rotating penis of masculinity. | |
| And let's go in here. | |
| Oh, what is this? Wait, I'm coming up close. | |
| Let's do our number use. Alright. | |
| Oh, here's the flame belch! | |
| What do we have here, I wonder? | |
| What do we have here for the Flame Belch? | |
| Press end to set enemies on fire. | |
| Actually, that's kind of... | |
| Press fire to set enemies on end. | |
| They will drop armor shards, kill them, and they will drop the most armor. | |
| Flame Belch demons in groups to maximize the number of shards dropped. | |
| Flame Belch gradually recharges over time. | |
| Alright, so what's this? | |
| Oh, these dudes. Okay. | |
| Oh! Ooh! Ooh, that's pretty. | |
| I mean, you know, pretty good. | |
| So we can flame these guys. | |
| We get all this cool stuff. | |
| So first we flame them, and of course what I do have to remember, or I guess what I do have to hear, is a lot of people were talking to me about the chainsaw. | |
| Oh, there's one more thing to get here. | |
| Okay, so that's cool. So we've got this. | |
| Ooh! You know, I can tell you why this game appeals to me so much. | |
| It's delightful. What appeals to me so much here is that this, you see, is almost exactly what happens when I get a good idea. | |
| UBB! Oh! | |
| It hadn't recharged yet. Oh, that was very, very not showman-like. | |
| All right, let's go back and get it in a sec. | |
| Okay, what's this dude? Sentinel Crystal Tutorial. | |
| This is the Sentinel Crystal selection screen. | |
| Use a Sentinel Crystal to permanently upgrade your health, armor, or ammo capacity. | |
| Alright, so what am I going to use here? | |
| Have you guys played this? What's the story? | |
| What's the story with... | |
| Press CTRL-C to cough on them. | |
| Yeah, yeah, I get that. 15 frames per second. | |
| Strange but true. Pretty much is exactly the same setup as I had before. | |
| I'll tell you what though. Maybe I should turn off the video. | |
| It's kind of small, right? Do you guys really care about the video? | |
| Probably not much, right? Okay. | |
| So let's see here. Napalm Belch, Belch Armor Boost, Armor for Blood. | |
| Blood Punch resource gets pulled in from... | |
| Ooh, Loot Magnet! You know what? | |
| I gotta tell you. Get Belch Armor Boost. | |
| You know, that's a good one, but I will tell you this. | |
| That I do have a bit of a thirst to get the resource magnet. | |
| Alright. Get Loot Magnet or Flame. | |
| Okay, I will get the Loot Magnet. | |
| Okay, it's best place to continue. Four upgrades available for each category. | |
| Upgraded blah blah blah. | |
| Okay, got it. Unlocking two linked upgrades gives you a bonus upgrade. | |
| Oh, this is starting to feel like doing taxes, man. | |
| Oh my gosh. All right. | |
| Let's try this. | |
| Unlock. Oh, I hold this down to unlock, right? | |
| All right. | |
| Ammo upgrade. Whoa. | |
| I like that. That's how you get stuff in this world. | |
| You just punch it. | |
| All right. | |
| Here we go. Configure the mission teleporter. | |
| Okay. I don't know what that means, but... | |
| Oh, that's the thing I punched. | |
| Oh, shards. I like that. | |
| All right. Oh, look at that. | |
| Somebody put in a little... | |
| Oh, you can't... Hey, hey, man, that's cheating. | |
| That is totally cheating. | |
| I should be able to jump there. | |
| But it's not letting me jump there. | |
| Invisible force fields. Wait, do they? | |
| No, that's the glass as a whole, right? | |
| See, to me, that's kind of cheaty, right? | |
| Because you should be able to jump places, but they just put in these invisible barriers where you can't go any further. | |
| Although that is kind of pretty. So let's just put it that way. | |
| He's got the whole world in his brain. | |
| Ooh. You want to donate to Free Domain Radio. | |
| Wait, wait. You want to donate at freedomain.com. | |
| Wait. Donate. | |
| Donate. Double jump. Donate. | |
| All right. Okay, that's enough of that. | |
| Or is it? Let's check our donation metrics. | |
| So, okay. Wait, wait. | |
| I have a good idea. | |
| Oh, that's what happens when I have a good idea. | |
| A flame belch of reason and evidence into the universe. | |
| Okay, can I jump up there? No, a bit of a cheaty thing. | |
| All right. Now, which game? Oh, yeah. | |
| So, I had on the bottom right of the screen here, I did have... | |
| Flame belch is clutch for keeping armor up. | |
| Use it liberally. Yeah. | |
| So, down on the right here, this is... | |
| Oh, flamebelch has come back. | |
| Okay, so I do that. | |
| Oh, there's a refill bar on the bottom right. | |
| That's where my face was before. | |
| Oh, yeah, and page down is my chainsaw. | |
| Okay, and numlock is punch. | |
| Okay, so I can't remember which weapon I have. | |
| Uh-oh, hey, wait. Why can't I go through here? | |
| Have I not done something yet? Do I need to do something here? | |
| No. How about this one? | |
| No. All right, so it's something I haven't done yet. | |
| Something burp. Oh, something back here. | |
| Alright, what do we got here? | |
| Push the ball! Get the flame belch. | |
| Hey, it's like when your balls drop when you're going through puberty. | |
| Alright, I'm supposed to tab something there, right? | |
| Arsenal. Oh yeah, so this one, hold mouse 2 to turn the combat... | |
| Okay, I wasn't doing that stuff. | |
| People were nagging me about that, which is quite right. | |
| Which is quite right. Backstory? | |
| I'll let you guys do that on your own. | |
| Okay. Do I go in here? | |
| Whee! All right. | |
| Real men play Animal Crossing? | |
| What is that, Crossy Road? I gotta tell you, Frogger does not seem to me like a real man kind of game. | |
| Alright. Ooh, Sparky Sparks! | |
| Ugh! There's me! | |
| There's your screenshot! Oh, look at this! | |
| It's like the death of religion in the West. | |
| There's my paladin character from Dungeons& Dragons. | |
| Let me tell you! I played him for about a year and a half, and he became a demigod at the end. | |
| His name was Argoth. May he rest in peace. | |
| Okay, so we've got this dude. | |
| You know what? | |
| He's not here because he's heading to the Greek border to repel the Turkish invaders. | |
| And here we have some sort of symbol. | |
| I believe that's a Falun Gong symbol. | |
| It says beyond here. Here's the live Corgan Market. | |
|
Stuck Inside
00:15:27
|
|
| What do we got here? Broken Sword. | |
| You know, I hate it when you get in-game ads for Viagra. | |
| That is totally Skyrim. | |
| I've got a Skyrim character up there somewhere. | |
| Now, is it going to let me jump out? | |
| No. Okay, well, that's not cheating, but that's okay. | |
| And all these things, they always have this moon so close, right? | |
| They have this moon so close that the whole thing would be torn apart. | |
| Now, here's a nice little... Ooh, what's that? | |
| Oh, you know what? I probably could jump off here. | |
| I shouldn't, though, right? No. I shouldn't test that. | |
| Uh... Oh! Skullhead is off to one side. | |
| Oh, my... Oh! Wait. | |
| Warhammer meets Dungeons& Dragons? | |
| What is the story behind this? | |
| Why are these people robots and demons? | |
| Oh, well. Just look to bad guys. | |
| All right. And, yeah, these moons are so big that the whole gravitational well would, like, tear things apart. | |
| They couldn't possibly be that close. | |
| All right. What do we got here? | |
| Okay. Oh, first logic puzzle. | |
| I gotta double jump somewhere, right? | |
| Okay. Oops. | |
| No, that was a little too close to the edge there. | |
| You know, I actually get a little bit of... | |
| when that happens. | |
| All right. What have we got here? | |
| So where am I gonna jump to? | |
| Oh, I gotta jump to one of these two things, right? | |
| That's my guess. And I haven't figured out the run thing yet. | |
| Sorry, this is like the least action-packed game so far, but we'll get it going. | |
| All right. Well, that didn't work. | |
| Alright, let's try that again. It took some health for me though, didn't it? | |
| Alright, and what am I missing here? | |
| Okay, is there any other place to go here? | |
| Can I jump anywhere here? No, it's not letting me out there. | |
| I bet you it's not any of these ones back here. | |
| Can't go anywhere around the edge here, right? | |
| No. Can't go anywhere around the edge here. | |
| Alright, help me people! Jump! | |
| Yeah, that's pretty helpful, thank you. | |
| Test it. Alright. | |
| Oh, wait a minute. I've got some wall-climby thing, right? | |
| It's a space station. | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, I can get the robot thing there, right? | |
| Okay, sorry. I'm halfway between dungeons. | |
| Oh wait, am I supposed to jump that far? | |
| Oh, wait! Oh, there's something down here. | |
| Okay. Whoa! | |
| There we go. Ooh! | |
| I got a secret! | |
| Okay, so I'm supposed to go there. | |
| Now what? I can't jump all the way down there, right? | |
| Um... Okay, so I came... | |
| I don't know why to get an extra life. | |
| Oh, that's because in part of the game you can get an extra life. | |
| Okay, can't go there. Can't go there. | |
| Am I supposed to jump and numb zero on this? | |
| No! Alright. | |
| Here we go. Okay, hang on. | |
| So I gotta maybe jump here. | |
| Okay. Let me just see here. | |
| Are you playing on that low in FPS or is it just the stream? | |
| Okay, hold on a sec here. I'm wondering if I can change the broadcast settings on YouTube. | |
| Can I change that? | |
| No, I can't. Is it... | |
| Alright, let me just go in here. | |
| Should I change the FPS? You can climb the broken white wall. | |
| Oh, okay. Alright. Ah, there we go. | |
| Alright, so I climb there. | |
| And you can see that. | |
| I can't climb up. | |
| I assume I climb down. Down, down, down. | |
| And then... Oh, do I jump over to that thing? | |
| Or that one. Probably that one. | |
| Oh, hang on. Oh, I'm down here somewhere, right? | |
| But I'm stuck in here somewhere. | |
| Stick to the white wall. Shoot something already. | |
| I would love to, but they've got me doing this Rayman stuff here. | |
| Alright. Uh, what the... | |
| Am I stuck inside somewhere here? | |
| Alright. That's kind of freaky. | |
| Why am I inside this? Okay, that was not healthy. | |
| Alright, let's try that again. And stick on the wall. | |
| Okay, if I can't climb up, I assume I climb down. | |
| And then, do I jump over there? | |
| Am I glitching here? | |
| Am I stuck here? Oh man, this is terrible. | |
| What's going on here? I think I'm glitching. | |
| White wall on right. | |
| Okay, that's helpful. | |
| Let me try here. But I'm stuck. | |
| Alright, try that again. Yeah, I'm getting there. | |
| Okay, so I've got on the white wall here. | |
| And then... | |
| Right wall. | |
| Okay, I'm there. Oh, there's a better delay in the chat here. | |
| Let me go here. Um, so I climb down here. | |
| No, I think the game is glitchy. | |
| Hang on. Yeah, I've glitched it. | |
| It's glitchy, right? Alright. | |
| It's not too impressive just yet. | |
| Alright, let's try that again. It's not a great add so far. | |
| Let's see here. | |
| I'm just gonna go back to where the texture looks different. | |
| Yeah, yeah, no, I get that, but from here... | |
| Do I jump? | |
| Am I supposed to be jumping down? | |
| Good lord. Okay, you guys gotta help me here. | |
| I'm not getting something or other. | |
| Alright. Yeah, jump onto the white marble beam. | |
| Oh, is there a beam? Alright, let me try this again. | |
| Alright, I'm on the wall. | |
| Where is the beam? Jump on the bark-looking material and grapple onto it. | |
| Do it, do it. Hey, I'd love to. | |
| Can I jump there? Okay, so can I go in here? | |
| Okay, so here I was already, right? | |
| All right, hang on. I'm going back to my Discord server. | |
| What have I got? Anyone helping here? | |
| Let's see here. Um... | |
| Okay, so the white thing. | |
| And then I don't think I can jump anywhere there, right? | |
| Can I just jump down to here? | |
| No. Alright. Alright. | |
| Good lord. Alright. | |
| So we're here. We're here. | |
| Okay, I can jump to there. | |
| And I'm just not sure where to jump to. | |
| That's the problem. I can't jump anywhere down here. | |
| Um... Now people, are you saying grapple? | |
| You glitched inside the wall. | |
| Yeah, yeah, that's not good, right? | |
| This is what these blind plays are like, right? | |
| Okay, so... | |
| The ball hates death. | |
| Super Boomer reference. | |
| No, no kidding, eh? Alright, going back. | |
| Help. Help. | |
| I can't jump that high, right? | |
| Okay, should I jump back to the wall here? | |
| Okay. Someone here. | |
| Oh, I see. Get to that one. | |
| I see. Okay, now we're getting it. | |
| Okay, I got it. Whoa. | |
| I got it. Alright, Ghost Dog has returned and Daddy needs some help. | |
| Ooh. Oh, I can blow these guys up, right? | |
| Yeah, I will take that. | |
| Oh, now let's get that. All right. | |
| Got it. Now we're playing with gas. | |
| Sorry, I got a little glitched there. | |
| Whoa. Okay, something's going there. | |
| All right. We're back. | |
| We're in the game now, baby. | |
| All right. Oh, so this is a double jump thing, right? | |
| Alright, there we go. | |
| And this is a punch-the-wall dude, right? | |
| Impressive. I am not at all insecure about penis size. | |
| Alright, although that's a little rotted of that penis thing there. | |
| Alright. Boom. | |
| Ooh, pretty. What have we got going on back here? | |
| Yeah, always go and look for the cool stuff in the back. | |
| Exultia. Yeah, what's the story with that? | |
| With treachery... What treachery comes from our darkest selves, driven by greed and want, for I have been deceived by the... | |
| I think you misspelled Pelosi. | |
| They came north with I, the priest's allies, to our cause against the Khan, Mikr, and her unscrupulous methods. | |
| Okay, fine. View image, very pretty. | |
| And let's go back to the shooting-y stuff. | |
| All right. Thank you guys for your patience. | |
| I'm not super great at platformers. | |
| All right. Oh, look at that. | |
| Nazgul! No, I don't know what that is. | |
| Oh, man, this is just incredible. | |
| Look at that artistry. You know, all of those guys who were just scribbling away in their notebooks in science class, they're the guys who are making it a huge amount of money. | |
| All right. So, chainsaw, what am I going to remember that? | |
| Okay, my chainsaw is page down. | |
| Yeah, that's right. Okay. I've got to remember the chainsaw. | |
| Oh, dude! Dude! | |
| Double plus on good. | |
| Whoa, did you just blow up? | |
| There we go. | |
| I'm going to remember the chainsaw thing, right? | |
| Okay. | |
| Whoa. Dudes! | |
| Oh, I need a... | |
| Let's see what we got here. | |
| All right. Alright, look at that. We're still alive. | |
| We're all a little shocked. | |
| Oh, look at that. My health's back. | |
| I just have no armor going on. | |
| Are those glasses just for fashion? | |
| Dude, no. Not a bit. | |
| Whoa. Whoa. | |
| You have quite a lot of health there, my friend. | |
| Alright. Okay, that was exciting. | |
| Let me get more stuff here. | |
| Oh, let me get a little bit of those shards. | |
| By the way, I just wanted to mention to you, my friends, please do your very best. | |
| This is the most offensive thing I've seen on this channel. | |
| Oh, come on, dude! There's way more offensive stuff on this channel. | |
| Now, doors to nowhere? | |
| Nope. Alright, so what weapons do we have here? | |
| So I've got just a little bit of shells. | |
| I've got these nail gunny things. | |
| Oh yeah, so for this... | |
| Now... | |
| Oh, let's get some more shells. | |
| A little more health. Okay, ghost dog. | |
| Way of the samurai is kind of strange over there. | |
| I'm not sure what the story is with that. | |
| The ball glitch must be Trump's fault. | |
| Man, you guys are far behind. | |
| What can I tell you? Alright. | |
| I feel like I need to wait until the chat catches up. | |
| Okay, wow, this is just lovely. | |
| Alright, we've got Armor Dude here. | |
| We've got, what do we have, Axe Dude here. | |
| Are you pleased to see me, or is that just a canoe in your cardpiece? | |
| Alright, what else do we have here? | |
| And we have Cage of Armor. | |
| Uh, Zero, what do we got here? | |
| Blood Punch Acquired. | |
| Uh, right? What's the story with this? | |
| A melee attack that deals extra damage. | |
| Bless num0 or mouse4 to unleash it. | |
| Uh, what does that mean? Okay, so... | |
| I think I already did this blood punch, right? | |
| Oh, this is something I've been doing from the beginning, right? | |
| Alright, blood punch we can do. | |
| Okay. | |
| Alright, blood punch we can handle. | |
| Ooh, something floating around here. | |
| Wait, wait. One up. | |
| Seven of those and I have a refreshing drink on my hands. | |
| Okay, wait, wait, but how do we get back there? | |
| We are caged in here for sure, right? | |
| If you played Prince of Persia, that platform would look elementary to you. | |
| you I'm not playing a console. | |
| I'm not playing on a console, too. | |
| This is a PC. Mouse and keyboard, man. | |
| Mouse and keyboard. That's the only way to go. | |
| All right. How do I get this dude? | |
| Oh, well. I think we're going to have to leave that one go by. | |
| So I've got maximum armor and maximum health. | |
| Okay. Low ammo. | |
| Okay, so let's get ourselves a new weapon here. | |
| Hmm. | |
| Oh, there was another dude here. | |
| Whoa, whoa, dude! | |
| Okay, so... | |
| Oh. Alright, everything floats. | |
| Everything floats. | |
| Not the most complicated puzzle I've ever seen. | |
| jump at the right time. | |
| time. | |
|
New Weapon Needed
00:09:37
|
|
| Wow, that did quite a lot of nasty stuff to everyone. | |
| Alright. | |
| Runes enhance your abilities or enable new abilities. | |
| You have limited rune slots, so choose the runes that fit your playstyle. | |
| Okay, is there a rune that allows me to bypass all jumping puzzles? | |
| That's all I want to know. All right. | |
| Space to dismiss. Glory kills faster. | |
| Speed boost. | |
| One death blow. | |
| Ooh, that's not bad. Ah, that's good. | |
| I don't care about the air movement. | |
| Kill by blood punch. | |
| Okay, you know what I like? Stagger state. | |
| Yeah, that's good. I like that. | |
| So they stay longer in stagger state. | |
| Okay, we can look at that. La la la la la la la. | |
| That's right. First time I touched the fountainhead. | |
| This is exactly what happened to me, my friends. | |
| This is the rune tab of the dossier. | |
| Purchase runes. Oh, can I flip them around? | |
| Okay, cool. That is cool. | |
| Alright. Okay. | |
| What's all this stuff? I'm going in here? | |
| Yeah, I'm going in here, right? Oh no! | |
| No more jumping puzzles! It's like this IQ test that I keep... | |
| Ooh! Keep failing. Alright, so here's the test of the non-aggression principle. | |
| See, he's shooting first, right? | |
| So because he's shooting first... | |
| Sorry. It's only return fire. | |
| Return fire, perfectly morally acceptable. | |
| In the non-aggression principle. | |
| Self-defense is double plus good. | |
| Alright. What the heck is that bloaty thing? | |
| Whoa! Okay, sorry. Little jumpy! | |
| Little jumpy. Oh, that's cool. | |
| So the kids have been here playing. | |
| Alright. Popscotch of Doom. | |
| Popscotch of Doom. Worst punk band name in the world. | |
| Alright. What's this? Why do I feel like a barb of death is about to hit me from behind? | |
| Alright. Because the mainstream media is still active. | |
| Here we go. Here we go. | |
| Whoa. Alright. | |
| Oh, lighting effects. They are my deities. | |
| Okay, do I just jump down from here? | |
| Whoa! Do I just jump down from here? | |
| I probably do, right? I can do that. | |
| Okay. Maybe just hide in here for a while, set up a tent, roast some marshmallows, play some Twister, all that kind of stuff. | |
| Is this on Hardcore? | |
| No. This is on Hurt Me Plenty. | |
| Because apparently what you have to do is you have to choose the level that is associated with your dating preferences. | |
| So Hurt Me Plenty is the way to go. | |
| All right. I'm going here, going down. | |
| Whoa! I've floated around. | |
| Now, I very much assume bad things are going to happen from here, right? | |
| Yeah. Okay, so let's get the lay of the land and let's see... | |
| Oh, blow that dude up. | |
| Okay. Oh, this is my runaway! | |
| Runaway! Alright, get me some health. | |
| Get this dude. Oh, I blood punched someone. | |
| Excellent. Good for me. Just a little bit here. | |
| Get some ammo. Get some of this stuff. | |
| Oh, I'm already at health. I got my health back. | |
| Whoa. Okay. So, I think it's just this dude left. | |
| Oh, low ammo. Okay. Can't blow up. | |
| I hate to waste it, but I'm going to. | |
| Alright, so now, if I hold down the right mouse, it now goes into a different fire mode, right? | |
| All right. | |
| Oh, I think that's rapid fire mode. | |
| All right. | |
| I feel like there should be more in here. | |
| Or should I just enjoy the fireworks? | |
| Oh, oh, I knew there was something else in here! | |
| Alright, come my friend. | |
| Let us hug. Enough of this fighting. | |
| Enough of this fighting. Let me donate something to you. | |
| Okay, a little lead. Um... | |
| Alright, I think that's it, right? | |
| Sorry, I'm a bit of an explore bot when it comes to this stuff. | |
| Oh, so for this weapon, if I hold down the right... | |
| Does it tell me what I have? | |
| That's what I'd like to know. Alright. | |
| Go up here. Oh, there's one of those hackmans from hell. | |
| Oh, I'm going to get over there though, right? | |
| Are you going to come to me? | |
| Come on! He's got a flame belch. | |
| Whoa! Alright, let's not stay too far away. | |
| Sorry, wrong key, wrong key! | |
| Alright. We have torn apart the Pac-Man. | |
| Alright, so there's a dude up there. | |
| There's a dude there. | |
| So I'm gonna switch weapons here and I'm going to Alright got that dude Now, I assume it's on from here. | |
| Can I lure anyone in here to get blown up by this dude? | |
| I think so. Whoa! Oh! | |
| Cacodemon! Run away! | |
| Run away! Okay, get this dude. | |
| Get some health. Keep moving. | |
| Just keep running. Just keep... | |
| Whoa! And this dude. | |
| Get this health. And get this dude. | |
| This dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You're very Pac-Man-y. Alright, here we go. | |
| Let's run away up here. | |
| Can I lure this dude? | |
| Ah, no, let's just... | |
| Whoa. Oh, dear. | |
| Am I... Am I... Oh, extra life activated. | |
| Oh, good for me. Alright. But the question is, does the extra life come with any particular... | |
| Oh, I need to get some ammo, right? | |
| So let's get this dude. Alright, what do I get from this? | |
| Um, enough, I hope. | |
| Extra life activated, because that's not in any way cheating. | |
| Oh, here's the ammo I'm looking for. | |
| These are not the droids you're looking for! | |
| Alright. Ah, craning my neck! | |
| Oh, I should pull him down. | |
| I'm looking- Oh, what the- I thought I got this dude. | |
| No, I guess it's another dude. Oh, I did not deserve that. | |
| I did not deserve that at all. | |
| And all the people who play on any remotely difficult level are shaking their heads. | |
| And listen, I can completely understand that. | |
| And I sympathize. I really do. | |
| All right. Oh, this dude. | |
| Oh, man. Okay, so there's someone else. | |
| Oh. So I need to build up my health a little bit before taking on this dude. | |
| Whoa. Oh, that? | |
| I didn't deserve that either. | |
| I gotta tell you, I'm not sure I deserve any of this. | |
| Ah, complete all the encounters in the mission to earn weapons points. | |
| The demonic corruption meter tracks the points you've earned. | |
| Each mission has ten weapon points total. | |
| Spend weapon points in the Arsenal tab in the dossier to upgrade your weapon mods. | |
| Open the dossier. Alright, let's open the dossier. | |
| Space to continue. Alright. | |
| Custom skins to weapons. | |
| Okay. Okay, so sticky bombs. | |
| Can I... Can I purchase that one? | |
| No. Alright. | |
| Escape back. No. | |
| Alright. Can I unlock that? | |
| No. Micro-missiles. | |
| I like the micro-missiles. Oh, so for micro-missiles, I have to... | |
| Upgrades. | |
| Quick rack! Well, that's, I guess... | |
| Oh, quick rack. That's breast implants? | |
| Is that right? Steph, give up. | |
| You will never create as many corpses there are in Hillary's closet. | |
| If only we could get the coronavirus to testify against the Clintons, man, we'd be fine. | |
| Okay, so quick rack. | |
| Oh, I only have... | |
| I only have one? | |
| Okay, I'm rapidly losing interest in this. | |
| Oh yeah, okay. Good, I unlocked something. | |
| I assume that's helpful. Alright. | |
| Alright. Let's just continue. | |
| Alright. | |
| Um... | |
| Uh, ooh, jumpy thing. | |
| Okay. | |
| Whee! Alright. | |
| Those would be so much fun in real life. | |
| Alright. Did I see something up here? | |
|
Unlocking Secrets
00:02:08
|
|
| Yeah, just help? Oh yeah, I want to get there, right? | |
| Never leave an area without checking every conceivable place for goodies, in my humble opinion. | |
| Oh. That's interesting. | |
| So why is there a pole here? | |
| Oh, alright. I guess we can do some kind of Nadia Kamenichi gymnastic thing there. | |
| Ah, okay, that's cool. | |
| Alright, I'll have to get used to that at some point. | |
| Alright. | |
| Shoot while holding the right mouse button to use the mods. | |
| Oh, oh, I see, I see. | |
| Okay, so... | |
| Let's get all this stuff. | |
| Let's get all this stuff. My baby's got a potion! | |
| All right. Let's just admire the art, shall we? | |
| Oh, no! Oh, no! | |
| It's a jumping thing! | |
| Oh, no. | |
| Here's where everybody's respect completely craters. | |
| All right. Let's go, oh, oh. | |
| Alright, well that would be one of the less challenging. | |
| Okay, so what you're saying is... | |
| Okay. | |
| Alright. I once had a tooth extracted, it felt very much the same way. | |
| Alright, anything back here? | |
| Oh my gosh. I don't know, dudes. | |
| I don't know. I don't know. | |
| Can I... I wish I'm so used to... | |
| was it F6? Well, that's a big dude up there. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Can we jump that one? Let's find out. | |
| The answer is no! The answer is no! | |
| All right. | |
|
Strange Survival
00:03:20
|
|
| So we went back there a little ways, but now... | |
| Oh, wait, wait. | |
| Why are we not dead? No, that's strange. | |
| This should have been death in a bag for us. | |
| All right. Do I die now? | |
| Yes, I die now. All right. All right. | |
| So, let's just make sure there was no other place to go. | |
| Oh, something back here. | |
| Something back here. Could we circle around? | |
| No, that's where we came from. All right. | |
| Hang on. Oh yeah, so this is where we went back here, right? | |
| And I betcha if we go back here... | |
| Bad things! | |
| Oh man, okay, so we're back here. | |
| Where do we go? Oh, oh I see, yeah, there's a white wall over there, right? | |
| I tried to double jump! | |
| Alright, we'll get it, we'll get it. No, I think I have to wait till I'm closer to the wall. | |
| There we go. There we go. | |
| All right. I got it. I got it. | |
| Don't panic. Don't, babies, don't you panic. | |
| All right. We're getting there. | |
| Oh, ghost dog! Good boy. | |
| Good boy. Way to turn into green fireflies of doom. | |
| My god. My god, we're at the heart of the Federal Reserve. | |
| This is where all the money comes from! | |
| Destroy! Destroy! | |
| Destroy! Alright. | |
| So, I guess we've got to just walk around in here and go. | |
| There we go. Ooh. | |
| Armor. Nipple guards. | |
| There we go. Wow, that is quite the landscape. | |
| Friendies? Oh, I'm sure those are the people who are going to come and help me. | |
| They're like, oh, you know what? | |
| They're the cupids who had me dating in my 20s. | |
| Ooh, lordy. | |
| See, where did this go originally? | |
| See, this is broken. Where did it go? | |
| Who knows, right? Ah, this is where babies come from, my friends. | |
| This is the egg dispenser of doom. | |
| Whoa, glowing thing! | |
| I want that! All right, so we come here... | |
| Let's keep going around here. | |
| And what do we have back here? | |
| Punch this dude. Whoa. | |
| Punch this dude now. I assume we go somewhere up here then, right? | |
| Oh, no. Over here. | |
| Oh, come on! Give me a shot. | |
| Give me a break. Oh, that's not fair. | |
| That's cheating! I've got to be allowed up here. | |
| Okay, how about here? There we go. | |
| Alright, there we go. Alright. | |
| Is that Arabic? Yeah, oh. | |
| Donate to... | |
| Free Domain! | |
| Oh, there we go. | |
| There we go. Ah, here we go. | |
| This isn't the Federal Reserve at Kali Works. | |
| works. | |
| No, it just goes round and round. | |
|
Audio Sync Issues
00:01:03
|
|
| Somebody has said video is completely out of sync with Alright, listen, no sweat. | |
| Let me just check here. | |
| Let me just see here. | |
| Oh. | |
| Audio out of sync. | |
| Let's see. | |
| If it is, I guess I'll restart with lower resolution. | |
| Let me just see here. | |
| Audio/video out of sync. | |
| You need to destroy the stuff. | |
| Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll come back. | |
| I'll lower the resolution. | |
| I'll come back, yeah. | |
| It says it's way off, right? | |
| Video is like 10 seconds behind the audio. | |
| Strange. Okay, I'll tell you what. | |