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March 23, 2020 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:36:59
Stefan Molyneux Tries DOOM ETERNAL!!!
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Time Text
Alright.
Alright, can you guys hear can you guys hear me?
Yes, yes, yes!
How's it going everybody?
This is Stefan Molyneux from Free Domain.
And, um... Yeah, we're gonna try a little something.
A little something new, a little something different.
Just let me know if you guys can hear me.
The audio is good.
And, uh... Yeah, it's time to dad-splain some philosophy to some intergalactic demons!
Let me tell you, because...
I think it's, um...
It's fair to say that...
We could all use just a little bit of a break from the old doom and gloom.
And, um...
You can all enjoy my video game expertise.
Which, you know, is not...
bad.
It's not terrible. It's all what?
This is beneath you.
No! I tell you, my friends, nothing is beneath me.
Except a very comfy chair and 53-year-olds of dead birth.
So, I hope you guys are having a great evening.
Can you... The audio is clear and you guys can hear the actual...
This is going to be a votey vote game, right?
So for those of you who don't know...
Boy, let me tell you. I quite like Doom.
I'll tell you straight up.
Have a look at that. Everyone gets to see my rig.
I think it's going to be fun.
I love this game. I loved it more.
All the way back to... Okay, there was a Castle Wolfenstein on my Atari 800 when I was a teenager.
And then there was Wolfenstein 3D, which was an old pixel game that ran on a 386 computer.
Then there was Doom, there was Doom 2, there was Quake, there was Quake 2.
I played them all.
I played them all without shame.
This is going to be a two-minute video.
That is funny. Yes, it may well be a two-minute video.
It is great to...
I'm choosing the red pill.
So, I love gaming.
I love video. So, I first got into computer programming.
Out of video games, because I actually programmed, or tried to program, Missile Command, which was an old roly-balled Avenger Cities game, using ASCII text, an 80x40, if I remember rightly, character set on a PET-2 computer with 2K. And then I wrote a little Star Raiders game, and then I wrote a Zork-style type-of-adventure game, and I wrote just a whole bunch of games that were just a lot of fun.
Music's a little loud. You guys, it'd be better if I turn my mic up?
Alright, hold on, hold on.
Let's see here. Settings.
Alright. System sounds 100.
Oh, okay. So let me turn my mic up.
And let me turn the audio down a little.
How's that? Is that any better?
The music is too loud?
Yeah, this is going to be fun.
This is going to be fun.
You're too old, man. Eyes aren't going to keep up, Steph.
The game is loud. Exposing demons in real life and slaying demons in games.
Turn down the music.
Okay, I'm still working on it.
So system sound, I'll put system sounds down to like 60%.
And, oh, I guess it hasn't saved it.
Alright, how's that? Volume is quite loud.
Now, is the volume for me?
Or not? Music is down.
Yeah, I did turn the music down. Any better?
Yeah, sorry. This is the first time.
Alright. Music too loud!
You can still get Doom 2 on your phone.
Yeah, I guess that's true, right? And, of course, in this alternative universe, I've actually put on the TaxiCab Geometry Edition, so the whole thing is Minecraft.
The game is too loud.
I don't know what you mean by the game is too loud.
I don't know if my volume, like if I adjust it on my computer, if it changes where you are.
Does it matter? We need more like this in the face cam.
We need more T-I-T-S in the face cam.
That's right. Now, here's the thing, too.
Do you guys want regular headphones or Lobot headphones from Star Wars?
Which is your particular... I think I'm going to go with regular headphones.
Bald guys don't look that great in headphones, which is one of the reasons why I use this little earpiece here.
So... All right, boomer.
You know what? I'm two years off being a boomer, so...
Let's get started, shall we?
Nice to see people coming in.
It's going to be fun. All right. So there's campaign, there's battle mode.
And, you know, I really can't believe they don't give me any royalties for this guy in the middle of the screen here.
That's me, baby. That's me floating above the world in the gateway to rationality and philosophy with a demon head in the archway and two fiery nipple sticks on the side.
I gotta be high, baby.
Well, let's see. Okay. So I am going to let you guys have a vote here, okay?
So I haven't... This is like the first time I'm playing this.
And so there's different levels of difficulty.
And there's... I'm too young to die, which I guess we all feel.
Hurt me plenty. So what do we got here?
Quick reflexes in combat.
Blah, blah, blah. There will be dramatic fights.
You will push through low health states, the occasional deaths on your way to mastering the experience.
You know, this is exactly my business plan for Free Domain Radio.
Push through your low health states and occasional deaths to master the experience.
Enemies attack less often and do less damage.
Oh, that means there's no Wikipedia.
Some items you pick up are worth more than in higher difficulties.
Okay, hurt me plenty. Blah, blah, blah.
If you have good reflexes and enjoy exploring for progression items, then this difficulty setting is for you!
Invest in your weapons and abilities to keep up with the enemies as you progress.
Now, hold on a sec. I think I'm going to do just one little thing here.
I'm just going to use one backup recordy thing here.
Alright, so here enemies attack often and do meaningful damage.
And what that means, of course, is they do damage to the meaning of your life.
They do meaningful damage.
That is important.
Death and low health states will be common early on as you learn to master the skills required to dominate the combat experience.
Well, hey, who doesn't every now and then wish for just a little bit of domination?
I believe that's all of us.
That's right. Ultraviolence!
Alright, if you're an experienced FPS first-person shooter player with great reflexes and you love exploring levels for progression items, then this difficulty setting is for you.
Enemies throw power attacks more often and deal significant damage.
Ooh, that means they let in the mainstream media.
Death may be common early on as you learn to master the skills needed to dominate the combat experience.
And then there's nightmare. Enemy attacks are more frequent and deal maximum damage.
Few mistakes are allowed and complete mastery.
Of the combat loop is required.
Okay, have you guys played this before?
What is the combat loop?
What is the combat loop?
Is that like a belt that you strike yourself with if you get hit bantled?
I guess we could find out.
Ultra Nightmare! If you die, your campaign is over, and Death Marker will be left behind as a reminder of how far you progress.
Oh, that's cool. So you get like a gravestone as well.
That's very nice.
So it's Nightmare, one death and you fail.
Extra life mode. Run out of extra lives and then die.
It's game over. Yeah, okay.
So, what do you guys think? I'm too young to die.
Hurt me plenty. Ultraviolence nightmare?
No, I can't. Ultra nightmare?
That's just... That's painful.
Hurt me plenty. Do you think it hurt me plenty?
Hurt me plenty. All right.
Let's do hurt me plenty. All right.
Now, here... Oh, look.
I've got numbers on my face.
Hopefully, this is my age.
How long am I going to live? 94, 95.
I'm happy to get to 100. And, uh...
Oh, yeah, I put a little thing up top there so you can see there's almost a thousand people watching.
No pressure! No pressure.
Almost a thousand people watching.
Is this here where we get...
Oh, play space to continue. Is this here where we get the backstory?
Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them...
This was my philosophy since then when I was 15.
Ring and tear until it is done.
Oh, that's cool. That reminds me of, I think, Quake, where you fall out of the spaceship and you land on the planet.
Asteroids! I've always loved them ever since Star Wars 2.
You know, the real Star Wars 2.
Empire Strikes Back. Oh, look!
Empire Strikes Back, and look, Star Wars, there's Death Star broken up.
Hold up! No!
They're everywhere! They're everywhere!
I thought we were going to take a break from the doom and gloom, and it looks like the headlines from two months from now.
Alright.
A little floating island over there.
Oh, no.
Pray that he's watching.
I guess this... Oh, this is the backstory, right?
So a lot of people will skip over this because they want to get to ripping demons' heads off, which I understand.
Nothing in the future looks comfortable.
I just wanted to point that out ever since Star Trek.
Like, nothing in the future. Everyone's got them big, giant muscle arm...
things...
uniforms. From Wuhan.
Okay, those graphics are good.
I gotta tell you too, the art in these video games is just incredible.
Oh look, somebody who looks even more haggard than I do.
What is he that they fear?
It's not man.
or his army is.
They fear the mark of the beast.
Anyone left?
What do you guys think? Shall we?
Don't care about the stairs.
And she's buying a stairway to hell!
All right.
Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go. Now, I just wanted to point out...
Yeah, that's it!
Totally! For rendering movies.
Can't move! All right.
So, as of course you would say to your children, you are injecting people with ketchup sleep darts.
Yeah, that's it. Ketchup sleep darts.
It's very, very important. Oh, that's pretty.
Wow. The art, I'm telling you.
Okay, wait a second here. I'm so sorry.
Oh, hang on. Oh, key bindings.
Oh, that's exciting. Look at this.
Controls. Okay. Where is my controlly control?
I don't want to enable the controller.
I thought I had changed this already, but I guess I missed it.
Mouse and keyboard. Okay.
Customize Slayer bindings.
Okay, there we go. Sorry. I'm a lefty, so I can't do all this WA SMD stuff.
And jump could be that.
Dash, because I'm right-handed.
Fire weapon, I got no problem with that.
Let's do that for a glory kill.
Chainsaw. I don't know.
Page down? Whatever. Equipment launcher.
What is that? I don't know. Let's make it that.
Blaine Belch. I think we've all been there.
All right. And the...
I don't know what a crucible is.
Delete. It sounds like you'd use something to delete someone.
All right. Fine.
Okay, so... I'm sorry.
I'm just going to numpad these things.
See, this is real exciting, right?
This is the kind of quality entertainment you get from a guy who's a dad.
Right, okay. I assume that saves on its own.
Okay, oh, there we go.
Now we're moving around. Now, let me ask you guys.
Are you exploring people, or are you, like, rushing people?
You know what? This is so vivid to me, my face feels warmer when I'm going back here.
So, yeah, let me ask you guys.
Are you... Can I punch a hook?
Just like I do in real life when I get ready for a show?
This is how I prepare for the baits.
I just punch giant hooks.
What is that? A torture device.
Wait, I thought I'd pick this stuff up.
Maybe I'm... Alright.
So, yeah, I think that's it.
Should we just go home? Wait.
See, look at this.
When you are in a place where they have women holding up skulls, you know that you're going to be slaying some demons.
There's no question about it. Alright.
What am I doing here? When you damage it even enough, it becomes staggered and begins to flash.
Not flash you, just flash.
When it does, press num0 or mouse4 to glory kill it.
It almost spawns all going.
And this was the same as the last one, right?
Ooh, IG that killed me.
Sorry, I should have glory killed that guy, right?
Hey, did something flash there?
It did, right? By the way, how is the...
It's not an argument?
No, it's truly not an argument.
This doom, you know, any doom planet is the time when the time of argument is the time of argument.
Yes, I want to do that.
I want to do that again. Oh, nice.
Bisected accidentally, half asleep upon my knee.
It's Eric the Harperbee.
Alright.
I keep wanting to reload, which is my other...
Ooh, a chainsaw!
Ooh!
Uh-huh. They always lift it up to admire it, right?
And it's never clean. Page down.
Instantly chainsaw demons and refill your ammo.
Gas canister. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. Oops. All right.
Wait. Where am I? Where am I? Why have things changed?
Page down. All right.
Page down. Chainsaw.
Oh, I see, I see.
Okay, so they're giving you a little training machine, right?
All right. Out of fuel.
Okay, oh, so now I'm getting back in.
All right, all right. Okay, so I'm now disoriented.
I am no longer oriented.
All right. I'm an explorer-y guy.
I've got to tell you guys, I am like a ridiculous explorer-y guy.
So if you're just looking for carnage, you've come to the wrong place.
Because I like to travel...
And... I survived 30 seconds.
He survived 30 seconds.
Colored me, shark. I hear ya.
Alright. Oh, gross.
Oh, man. Oh, gosh.
I can't believe they did this.
This is like...
This is how your iPhones are made in China.
This is like employee cafeteria in China stuff.
That's gross. Alright. Are we in the ship?
It looks like I think it's swinging back before, looking like I'm on the hold of a ship or something.
Punchables are obstacles the player can move by punching the green seal.
Ah, okay. First, now I'm getting, uh, uh, with the base of the tank, right?
Ooh! Double jump.
Uh, alright. I have a feeling that's going to be imprinted on my forehead before the game is over.
Ooh, question mark! Daddy wants, daddy wants.
Gimme, gimme, gimme. Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Ooh, there was my double jump watch.
Do not try this at home, kids.
Double jumping will end up with you.
And these are boxes of people.
That is some creepy stuff.
You know, I wonder if the people who make these games do end up, like, really feeling kind of weird about stuff, right?
Like, do you dream about this stuff?
If you spend 8 hours a day, like, making these games or 12 hours a day, like, you end up dreaming this stuff?
What kind of childhoods are we seeing on display here, right?
I can't go without getting my question mark.
Wait, is this where I came from? Yeah, okay, sorry.
Wrong spot. Oh, I'm lost already.
Well, you know, there's just a lot of ghoulish stuff around.
Okay, so let's go down through here and down through here.
Oh, wait, is this where I came from? Oh, I see.
I have to jump in. Okay, I have to jump in.
Okay, I got it. I got it.
But I'm leaving behind something.
I don't want to do that. Oh, maybe...
Alright, do not go around the corners.
Uh, okay. This is the weapon mod selection screen.
Interact with a mod bot and then unlock a mod for an available weapon.
Does reason and evidence count?
Not when you're debating!
Quebecois intellectuals, use mods to expand each weapon's gameplay behavior.
Dun-dun-dun! Space to continue.
Sticky bombs, full auto.
Uh... Grenade launcher.
I don't know. What do you guys think?
I'm going to let you guys vote.
Oh, turn down the game volume?
All right. Hang tight. Game volume is still too high.
Sorry about that. And we'll spit it out.
All right. Audio.
Okay. Game volume is still too high.
Okay. Is that better?
Secret, secret. We've got a secret.
Mic is low. All right.
Um... Really?
Because I think the mic is at max at the moment.
Maybe I'll bring it up a little here.
Pump up the volume.
Pump up the volume. Dance, dance, dance.
Boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
All right. This game isn't about exploring that much.
Boomer Audio. Okay, is that any better?
How's that for audio?
Audio to 50%. Man, I took it way down.
The audio is now down at 35%.
And the volume is at 100 for me.
Game volume too high. Man, okay, I'll take it down some more.
All right, so how's that?
Dominatrix? Can't hear me?
I'm telling you, I'm turning way down.
Oh, I wonder if I can turn it down in-game.
I bet you I can. All right, I'm just going to go with full auto for now.
Alright, so we're just going to go full auto.
I will turn the game volume down.
Sorry, this is my first time doing this, so I think I just broke something.
Alright, so let's go to settings, audio, master volume, music volume, sound effects, voice volume.
Okay, how's that? Better?
Boomer, don't reach out. Okay, is that better?
Volume down. Sorry about that.
How's that? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying.
I'm trying everybody, I really am.
Alright, I've turned the master volume down to 47%.
Music volume, down.
Sound effects volume, down.
Voice volume, I don't really have voice on there.
And how's that?
All right, is that any better?
Okay.
Okay, hold on.
There's more stuff to get here.
Health. I think my health is still good, right?
I can't tell you how painful it is to me.
You can't hear you. I don't know what the heck's going on.
All right, I will try it again.
I'm going to take my audio down to like 25.
This is like way down, all right?
I don't want voice chat.
Master volume down. Yeah, I've done it.
Game is way too loud.
Alright. I'll tell you what.
I will go into my audio here.
Whoa, hang on. Did something hit me?
All right, hang on. I'm going to go into my audio, and I'm going to turn it way down, like 15%.
System sounds are 15%.
All right.
No luck. No luck with the audio.
Okay. Game volume down.
Dudes, if you can give me any...
I'm using GeForce Experience.
If you have any particular hints, that would be great.
But I guess I can take the...
I can bring the mic a little closer.
But... Game sound too loud.
Dudes, I wish I could tell you what to say, but...
Okay, if I mute it, does that matter?
I can't hear anything at this end.
Alright, so let me see if that helped at all.
Game too loud? Is it better?
Is it better? Game too loud?
Okay, but just telling me that doesn't help me.
You guys are going to have to tell me what to do.
Oh, are we that far back?
Oh, okay.
All right.
So it looks like we can take this up a little here, right?
Game not loud enough.
Alright. Well, we're going to have to just keep going here.
Alright. Alright.
Now, let me know if you guys see me jumping here.
Increase game volume.
Turn up the volume.
Game too loud. Is he talking?
I don't know what's going on here.
Raise game volume.
Okay, increase game volume.
Alright, we will take it back up.
Alright, looks like we should be okay.
Alright, now if we go here, we should be able to chainsaw people, right?
Alright. Oh, I like the sparkly bits.
they are an enormous amount of fun alright did we miss anything back here?
Mr. Explorey wants to know.
Alright. Uh, oh yeah, let's punch through that stuff.
Oh, increase game volume?
He's like five minutes behind, right?
I don't know what's going on with this chat.
Turn it all the way. Game too loud.
Rip and or tear. Alright.
So, looks like these guys are fighting.
Oh, this is one of my friends.
Okay, so I want to help him, right?
Because you have to get them in a certain amount of time, right?
Oh, that was me. Whoa!
Alright.
Whoa.
Whoa.
There are a lot of bad guys around here.
I will tell you that right now.
I'm dead.
He's going to need some health.
Alright, so let's get some health here.
Okay, so low ammo, that's bad.
What's my ammo at? I don't know, two?
That's no good. Alright, hang on, hang on.
Oh, I need that, right?
That's gonna save my ammo.
And let's follow this dude up.
Was there some dude up here? There was, right?
Yeah, okay.
Dude, I feel like I keep shooting these guys and they keep living.
All right, all right.
Now we're getting somewhere.
All right.
Whoa, who's hitting at me?
Oh my gosh, these guys are everywhere.
All right.
Oh, that's one guy.
Okay.
So much fun.
I got to tell you what I like about these games too.
So, I live a pretty abstract and intellectual life in a lot of ways, right?
And there's something about this stuff that is just so...
it's so visceral, right?
It's like, I don't think about anything else.
There's not the problems of the world, not the challenges of existence and the need to bring ethics to a dangerously subjectivist planet, but it's just like, demons!
Slaying! That's all we're talking about in these kinds of circumstances.
And that's kinda cool.
Okay, can I get through there? Can I punch this thing at all?
No. Alright. Low ammo.
Okay, did you guys see any ammo?
That would be excellent. That would be excellent.
I'm sorry about the audio issues. All right.
Ooh, there's some health. Now, okay.
Oh, so we got armor.
This is not going to give me any health, right?
Because I'm already out. But I'm low on ammo.
So I've got to look for me for some ammo.
Anything down here? Ooh, there's a jumpy thing.
I like these. Okay, hang on.
Let me get the ammo first. All right.
This. Okay, so there are jumpy things going on.
Anything back there? No, that's just...
I just love these boxes of people.
That's just wild. It's like everything that just got shipped from China.
All right. No, I'm not letting it go.
Oh. Gross.
All right. Okay, so that puts me up here.
So I've got good health. Did you guys see anything that I missed?
Steph, can't hear you now at all.
I don't know what's going on...
As far as the audio goes.
It's a mystery to me. Alright.
Hell barges. Press tab.
Okay, what is that? Hell barges.
Oh, great. Okay, I can kind of see this through my own head.
Atop mighty thralls, the hell priest.
Yeah, yeah, okay. Sorry, that's backstory.
We care about backstory in this about as much as we care about backstory in other things.
Alright.
Kick that in.
I don't know what's going on here.
But I can tell you this guy needs a dentist.
Or needed a dentist. That's why, you know, they're probably having such a bad day as a tooth pain will make you into a demon.
I've only had it once in my life, but man, it's a bad thing as a whole.
I'm just waiting for that skull to start singing Imagine to make everything better from the coronavirus.
All right, something's going on here.
Lost a little bit track here. Alright, we're down here somewhere.
Oh, look at...
Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?
How big do these things get in these games?
That is... wild.
You guys know any backstory here?
Is there any backstory? Does it really matter?
See? Always go behind you and see if there's anything you left behind.
Alright. Let's jump here.
I have a feeling we're gonna meet that guy again.
Alright. Uh...
Excellent. I think that still looks better than my first car.
Ah, there's my first car.
Here we go. I remember this dude.
All right. I'm just going to check in the old chat here.
Okay. Uh...
Ooh, look over the edge.
That is really the art again.
The art is just amazing in these things.
All right. Let's go up here.
This is some sort of upgrade thing?
Viewer codex entry. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Demons, demons, demons. We care.
Alright. Oh, this is another upgrade thing, right?
Sticky bombs. So mouse 2 gives us sticky bombs.
Alright, we can do that. Sticky bombs unlocked.
And then what do we do with this dude?
Just let him fly there? Okay, we take that.
Alright. Press F1 to swap.
Press F. Oh, that's no good, man.
That's the wrong key. Okay, so what should I do to switch weapon mods?
F. Okay, okay.
So hang on a sec. Sorry. Settings, controls, layer bindings.
We're switch weapon mods.
Uh, let's go with...
Yeah, I can reach that easily.
Alright. Uh, right?
Anything over here?
Do I smell any evil?
I will take a little bit of armor.
Huh? Okay, I can do that.
So if I pull that...
Get aboard the Citadel.
Interrupt the Daedic Council.
Daedic Council? I don't know.
It sounds like something to do with Brexit.
All right. All right.
Here we go. Hello, friends.
Let's negotiate. There's no need for all this violence.
Well, you know, usually when there's glowing eyes, there usually is a need for all that kind of violence.
Oh, my gosh. They're climbing. That's cool.
I was not expecting that. All right.
All right. And the anti-rationality has been terminated.
All right. Ooh!
Cool. You have to kick things over the edge, right?
You know that, right? Just like in real life.
What the...
Wow.
Hey, it's like Russia and China when I was a kid.
Just hope they'll wipe each... Oh, hello!
I'm doing too much chatting!
They're getting too close! All right.
I gotta tell you guys, I think that this level might just be a little bit too easy.
What do you think? Can I change it in-game?
Weee! Boink, boink, boink.
Alright.
Alright.
Oh, it's totally gone.
No, I think Audios backed off.
Oh, I think I did it in this.
All right. I'll bring the audio back.
Sorry, I guess there were a couple of trolls in there who were telling me to mess with the audio.
That's alright. Let's take it back up for a second.
Alright. It's very sad that there are people out there interfering with people's fun in that way.
But hey, that's life.
That's life. Alright, so now I have to find my way down.
I don't think it's going to be that way.
Because the invisible barriers of the coding end are not letting me.
What do you guys think? Should I? Ah, no!
I didn't mean to do that! Oh, yeah, okay.
So I survived that. That would be great.
I've already twisted my ankle in my brain.
All right. Alright, so now we need to take a break here where we don't get hit by something just to reassess where we are.
Oh, okay, something's still hitting me.
Okay, I need some... Where's that dude?
Oh, there he is. That was some bad shooting, man.
Okay, that was some very bad shooting.
Let's double jump up here. Sorry, I keep drawing myself back from the game.
Oh, that's the thing I kicked.
Let's kick it some more. Whee!
Bye-bye. Alright. Back to OPEC you go.
All right. We will follow the trail of armor.
Game audio, 40%.
Yeah, put the game audio, 40%.
Good now.
All right. I guess this means I'm supposed to jump, right?
Okay, so I guess I have bionic legs or something like that, right?
Oh, this is where I was, right? Oh, and they said alt, right?
Gives me some sense of where to go.
Get aboard the citizen. Okay.
So far, so good. Do-do-do!
Jump, jump, jump! There we go.
Alright, so up here.
Here we go. Can we go in through here?
Oh, come on. Let me jump. Come on!
Unfair! Let me jump!
No?
All right.
Oh, am I supposed to grab that thing somehow?
Put games down to 70%.
Put everything else back up.
Alright, I will do that.
We'll get it bang on for next time, I promise you.
Alright, audio. 70% for the game.
Back. Done.
Close. And escape.
Settings. Audio.
Boom. Let's just turn that up.
Alright. Okay.
Uh... So can I go?
That's where I started wrong. Sorry, I keep moving my direction here.
Nothing more fun than futzing with the audio, right?
All right. No.
Oh, I bet you I just double jump before, right?
No. Oh, come on!
You let me do that before.
No. I jump that.
All right. All right. Where's my spatial reasoning here?
Let's jump up here.
Can't go anywhere there.
Can't go there. That is definitely a place that gives you an ulcer.
And let's go up here.
You're definitely supposed to jump there.
Can I punch anything?
Sorry, I'm a little lost here because I'm still distracted by the audio issues.
It's good. Alright, thanks guys.
Appreciate it. Thank you for your patience.
I'm always trying new things in this show, right?
It's always good to have a little thing different here.
Get aboard the Citizen.
Where is the Citizen?
Oh, it's over there.
Ah, it's perfect.
Great.
OK.
Alright, good. Okay, so...
Okay, can I go through here?
No, that's kind of cheating.
Have you guys played this?
What the heck is going on?
How am I supposed to go from here? Simon says jump.
Oh, double jump. There we go.
All right. Thank you. Double jump.
All right. Good. We're through.
Weak points. Arachnotron.
Certain demons have weak points to damage to disable their abilities.
All right. Weak points splash red when damaged.
It's turret. All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Excited. All right. I tell you, so far, so good.
All right. Alright, we're gonna go down to here.
Whoa! Oh, 94 health.
That's bad.
Oh, did he slow up?
Yeah.
Oh, out of ammo.
That can't be good.
This guy is a little tough to kill here. - Here. - Alright, whoa. Dude.
Run away, run away, run away, run away.
Oh, that's because, uh...
Oh, that's, uh...
That's not something that's ever happened to me in an optometrist, thankfully.
That would be hell's optometrist.
Oh, this dude. Alright, he is out of commission.
Oh, I'm going to need me some ammo, right?
All right, let's go get some stuff here.
Wait till this guy comes. Can I lure anyone down to be blown up?
That guy, okay. He's going to come down.
There we go. And...
Does that help?
Yeah, that got him, right? Alright, let's go around here.
And so far so good!
Oh, look at that. Now, you know, you'd think there'd be a lot of really intelligent commentary coming out of me right now.
Well, maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't.
But I can tell you that it's not really what you're doing.
I gotta tell you guys, I really don't think that I deserve to survive that.
I really, really had no...
I did not deserve to survive that.
That was badly played. And if I had been at any kind of adult setting for danger, I would not have survived that.
But that's alright, because we're just learning how to livestream and play a game at the same time.
Alright.
Okay, let's go over here.
No, nothing's fine.
Get these.
And I think that's it for here, isn't it?
Oh no, there's something more stuff up here, right?
So get this. Oh, I just like watching this.
Ooh, that's cool. All right.
Alright, I'm going to pick up a few more of these.
Go up this way.
Go down this way. Oh, my health's already 100, so I don't need that.
And I think we are good to go.
What do you guys think? Am I done the level?
I'm going to jump. Just because that's kind of wee fun.
Alright. Alright.
And we've just got to find our way up here, right?
Which I assume is jumped here, and then what?
Double jump. There we go.
Uh-huh. Ooh, we have a new weapon.
We have a new weapon!
Now, if you understand how video games work, you will fully understand that this moment I grab this weapon, you know horrible things are going to happen, right?
Weapon wheel. Class Q or mouse 5?
Mouse 5. Well, that's handy.
Uh, weapon wheel.
Choose from all your weapons. All right.
Press space to do this. Okay, which one is my mouse 5?
Okay. Oh, that's my map!
Oh, okay, that's cool.
All right, excellent. Which one is mouse from?
I have a lot of mouse buttons here.
Oh, okay, so if I hold it, do I get a weapon wheel?
No. Okay, so...
Oh, okay. Well, I guess I was wrong.
Bad things didn't happen just because I grabbed a new weapon, right?
Okay. Oops.
Ah! Sorry.
Here we go, here we go.
You know, you've got to look at this thing, right?
You know what you've got to say? You've got to say...
You know, when you come across a really bad personality, you've got to just say to yourself, at one point, this was beautiful.
Back in the origin, back in its glory days, its origin story, this was...
just beautiful.
All of this was lovely and what's this?
Auto map.
Reveal all Review the map. Yeah, okay.
Now, I don't know, you guys.
I mean, is it at all fun to watch me go exploring, or should we just go and play things?
All right.
Oh.
No more.
mod.
All right.
Oh, it's a Alright. Oh, that's pretty wild.
That's actually where all of your bailout money is going, these guys.
Alright, what do we got?
We go through here. Ooh, the bell, the Liberty Bell has fallen.
It's not so much that I'm playing Doom as it is I'm just getting ready for Coronavirus.
All right.
Oh, I've got sticky bombs, right?
I don't know how to activate the sticky bombs yet.
Alright, we'll get those later.
Get some!
Alright.
Ooh, I want that. Oh.
Mannequins! Just what you'd expect.
All right. I like how they have all this backstory if he's fighting too.
Or if there is indeed any backstory.
I cannot leave.
I saw... Okay, now how do you open these dudes?
Oh, they're shooting at me.
Okay, don't get greedy. First of all, secure the perimeter, then get greedy.
Whoa. No. Take a moment to look around you.
I'm afraid I can. Okay, that's not great.
A little low on health here. Oh, he's making his way in.
Oh, if I get some of these guys...
Knowing when to run is part of the battle.
It does. Hey, he moved!
That's cheating!
Hey man!
Oh, I need this, right?
Oh, bad scene!
I hit the wrong key. I should have...
Okay. Reload the checkpoint.
Look at that! I made it!
Not too bad there! Uh, what?
What am I doing here? Is it loading the checkpoint?
Uh, E? Next.
Are we loading the checkpoint?
What's going on here? Q, previous, E, next.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. E, next.
Are we getting the game here or what?
Sorry, I'm not sure what's happening here.
Ha, ha, ha.
This violates the non-aggression principle.
I'm not entirely positive that it does.
Wow, you guys are, uh...
It's funny, eh? Like, you are way, way behind.
Alright. Oh, page down?
No.
All right.
One button, all right.
All right.
Now we're getting better.
Now we're cooking with gas. I guess literally when it comes to change.
All right.
We're back. I guess I'm maxed out.
All right. Great scars.
It's a demon world. All right.
I have no idea why YouTube, or I guess whoever it is, is having a snack so far below.
That is crazy much.
Hold on a sec here.
I just lost my chat.
Let me just bring it on back.
Hit the wrong button there.
And I will just check in on the old livestream.
It's amazing to me how far behind it is, but hey, what can I tell you?
That's just the way things are.
Alright, hang on a sec. Yeah, let me go to my live stream.
You can do it! Alright, go live.
But no, I refuse to go live.
indeed what I'm going to do instead is yeah sorry so as it turns out I guess those of you who are watching this later The volume was kind of all over the place, but the chat was so delayed that I wasn't getting anything useful coming in.
All right, the chat is back. - And let's go over here.
Let's go.
Boom.
Boom.
All right.
That's it's done.
We're a little low on health here, and we really don't have a lot of weaponry.
What do I have here? I got nothing!
I got nothing.
Oh, there's a good plan.
All right.
That we don't go.
We don't go down there, right? So, where do we go?
Where do we go? Oh, yeah, that was that thing I could see.
Get aboard the Citadel!
All right, anything back here?
No, it's a mess.
Some lights, and...
Oh, he can jump around.
All right.
You're good.
Oh. All right.
Not too bad. Not too bad.
Whoa. Hey, dude. Dude like that's going to help, right?
Okay, I'm going to go down here.
I'm not going to go to the jumpy spot because they want you to go to the jumpy spot first, right?
I know I've missed... I've missed some...
Let's get some health up here.
We don't need any more ammo.
Oh, that's...
Alright, let's get this dude.
Alright, so this being a secret area, this should be something.
Oh, there he is. This should be something that has some good stuff down there, right?
Oh, hey, can we kick this over and blow it up as it goes over?
Oh, I think that might have just premature, premature, a little premature, like M17. All right.
Low ammo. Wall climb.
The Slayer can attach to pitted walls by pressing num 0 or mouse 4.
Climb by pressing mouse4, num0, and then climb.
Look around and jump to another location.
Okay, what the heck is mouse4?
I only have one mouse!
Says the boomer. Alright. I'm not a boomer!
I promise you. Oh, so I gotta jump here, right?
So it was what, mouse4 or what?
Oh, numlock, right? Okay, good.
So we were able to do that. Although I bet you we left something cool behind.
All right. Hey! No radio.
Can't get ready for your main.
All right. So we're in here.
Wrecked cars. Bad concrete.
And all the Italian players saying, yeah, it's a pretty nice show.
Okay. Yellow key acquired.
And bad things are going to happen.
Right?
Yeah.
This is a gaming channel now.
Alright. So what do we got down here?
Let's scan them. Alright.
Anything up here? See, I don't know which way to go to get the cool stuff.
I have a feeling it's down here.
Oh, let's get the ammo.
How much would you give?
This is a question for people in the chat.
Like, seriously, how much would you give to be able to double jump in real life?
Oh, man, wouldn't that be the coolest?
I would just basically spend my entire day double jumping.
Okay. Oh, let's leave those guys.
There's got to be something cool up here then.
Oh, yeah, because there's a jump thing.
Wee! Oh, my... Alright.
I don't know which way I'm supposed to go.
Well, we've got hell.
Oh, yeah, I guess we'll just leave his bed the same way.
Oh.
I'm going to push that over just in case.
That is kind of fun. Alright, can we punch anything here?
Alright. Alright.
Oh. Okay, so, did we get everything up here?
I'm sorry, I gotta check.
Call me anal. Alright.
Oh, I don't think we did all this up here, right?
We didn't do the bit that's broken.
Yeah, that's right. Alright. Is this like Europa, the last battle?
Oh, no, that's where we came from. Okay, that's where we came from.
The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
Alright, let's go in here.
Rendy! I like how leaning back is somehow going to help me dodge these things, you know? It's too visceral.
It's too visceral.
My body is confused.
Sorry, I left again.
That was my healthier dude.
Oh, not good. Alright, how's my ammo here?
What is my ammo situation?
My ammo situation is double plus ungood.
Oh, and...
This...
Oh, these are just... Okay, these are just traps, right?
Oh, that's cool.
Alright, slow ammo.
See, who installs these things?
Oh, I guess they've turned up because they've gone by, right?
What do you got here? What you're selling?
Oh, I get it. Okay, this is going to be way back in the day, right?
This is... There was a game, Dungeon Master, back on the old Atari.
Okay, we're going to wait. What the heck is...
Oh, that's one of these games. Oh!
Oh! I ran out of ammo.
All right. Let's load the checkpoint.
And then you have to hit spacebar.
Just wanted to let you know. I couldn't figure that out before.
Okay, where is my checkpoint here?
Ah, not too bad. Not too bad.
All right. All right.
So we've got to go down.
We've got to conserve our ammo.
Which means... All right,
Alright, so now we're hopeful that these things keep shooting at night.
Look at those light effects.
Really just quite amazing. Just so pretty.
All right. Where is my ammo indicator?
Help me! I don't know how much ammo I have left.
So let's go through here.
The cleansing of Earth is a necessary step on the path to a brighter tomorrow.
All right, let's let these guys come to us.
Oh, dear.
Well, I'm going to need some ammo.
And some ammo.
And...
Oh, there's my ammo.
What am I looking for?
Let's get out of here.
All right.
The UACO Mercer Initiative.
Humanity has now reached its full potential.
I don't think this is going to go very well for me.
Oh, very bad.
Very bad.
Ha ha ha ha.
Alright, let's try that one more time.
Are you guys enjoying this?
I think it's kind of fun, right?
Alright, let's try it again.
Let's try it again. So the problem here is the ammo, right?
And the problem is, I don't know where my ammo is.
I've got health and I've got a shield here, but I don't know why my hammer is.
Alright, so we gotta go through here and we gotta get the ammo.
I didn't get the help, did I? Alright, so we've got to go on our air, right?
- On the path to a brighter tomorrow. - I gotta get my head on.
Oh man, I'm out. - This guy's my nemesis.
Okay, we'll try it one more time. If you guys are here, if you could tell me what the story is with the ammo, that would be excellent.
Because I'm not sure where the ammo is.
Alright, let's try it one more time.
Is there any way to load these dudes up?
Oh, you know what I've got to figure out?
I've got to figure out the sticky bomb thing.
Alright, so one of these...
Okay, let me just figure out the sticky bomb thing here, because if I don't get the sticky bomb thing, I don't think I'm going to get much going on here in the game.
Alright, Slayer Bindings. Alright.
Ah, Equipment Launcher.
That's no good. Flame Belch.
Oh yeah, I forgot about the Flame Belch, but I don't think I have that, do I? Weapon Mod.
Oh yes, the Enter. There's what I need.
Okay, so I've got to go to Enter.
What's the Weapon Mod? Alright. Alright, so I've got to figure this weapon out.
Oh, it's a bomb, right?
So it goes off after a second.
Alright. Oh, I got shielded in.
Ah! You know, it's kind of like philosophy.
You're going somewhere, and then there's no turning back, baby!
You're on a one-way going.
Alright, so this key part of this game, I guess, is all about the ammo.
All about the M. Because I'm all about the M. Okay, so far so good.
Now, do I have a weapon mod on this too?
What is my weapon model?
Nah, I'm back to low ammo here on it.
I have a feeling it's a little bit circular.
The cleansing of Earth is a necessary step on the path to a brighter tomorrow.
Oh yeah, this dude. I got nothing.
I got nothing, I got to go cost-game, I got to go get all the damage.
I got to go get all the damage.
Ah!
Chain show regenerates...
Use it properly. All right.
Okay, let's try one more. This is kind of fun, and we'll try one more.
Shoot the turret on top. All right.
Thank you very much. Press Alt F4 to show ammo caches.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think so, buddy.
No ammo.
Yeah, see, I'm not using a lot of ammo.
I'd go back and get more, but it's been all sealed up, right?
All right, let's wait for this dude to come.
Just to keep it coming. All right.
Performance anxiety. All right, here we go, here we go.
You know, I just know I can't get you guys' respect if I don't finish this game, no problem.
Cleansing of Earth is a necessary step on the path to employment tomorrow.
Alright, should I just go past this fight and get ammo from Bitflappy?
Yes, I agree. Except this dude is my candidate.
I gotta get past this guy, right?
And I gotta go get me some ammo in here.
Should I get any ammo?
No. Oh my gosh.
Alright, let's just get out of here and see.
There we go, got him. got him.
Alright. Low ammo, low health.
But this guy should give me some...
Should give me some health, right?
All right, all right. Oh, I like that vaguely red screen, you know?
Okay. Wait, can I help you?
All right, so we got past this part.
Oh, that was my last bullet, wasn't it?
Oh, that's great. Oh, no, here we go.
go that's the one all right all right no Oh, that's right.
Okay, precision bolt.
Twin rack of missiles.
Ooh, I like that. Yeah, we'll do that.
Mouse 2, twin rack of missiles.
Alright. Hold right click on shotgun.
Excellent. Just tell me whether to go left or right in general.
Okay. So, hang on a sec.
Enter switches, right?
All right. I'll add a ammo.
I don't think I left anything behind here.
Is there anything over there?
All right. Whee!
Okay. Oh, can we get up there at all?
The tentacles. Oh, now we're looking at anime, right?
Can we get over here at all? No, all right.
I like how my butt muscles flex when I'm trying to jump.
I feel like that's going to help. All right, what have we got here?
Frag grenade.
Numb to launch a grenade which explodes after landing on the ground.
All right.
Greatest video ever.
John Rogan, all right.
Shall we? Shall we?
Go a little further. You guys having fun?
I think it's fun. I think it's fun.
Whoa. Ah!
A little jumpy. The Keiko Demon is a pressured demon with a powerful close-range bite.
But enough of my early daily life.
Okay, if you can fire a sticky bomb or frag grenade into its mouth, it instantly staggles.
All right. All right.
Space to dismiss. Oh, this is a double jump thing here, right?
Do I do it from here or down here?
No, no, no, no, no!
Okay, right again. Oh, that's good.
I'm glad. All right.
Oh, I need to wait to go higher, right?
Whee! And the game is over.
Alright. See now? Oh. Ah!
Okay, let's go on the end.
Alright, here we go. Okay, so we want to jump on this.
And then we want to wait.
Oh, come on!
I had that! Wait, is it taking my health down each time?
Oh, come on!
Alright. Oh man, that's not fair.
In my opinion. Alright, this is a checkpoint.
Please don't make me go back to the beginning.
Please don't make me go back to the beginning.
I must insist.
Alright, let's try that. Oh, is it?
Okay, I don't understand. Am I supposed to hold on to this or what?
Do I wait for it to go up?
What's going on here? It's not letting me do the double jump.
Is it? Oh, so maybe I'll let it jump me up.
Okay, hang on. I think I got it.
Whoa! Oh, come on.
The silly part of the game. There we go.
Alright, double jump. Alright, but at least I'm down here with almost no health.
Excellent. What the...
I've got a sense it's going to take me back, right?
There's no shame in turning down the difficulty.
No, I'm just, you know, I'm just multiprocessing here.
Normally I'm just doing this alone, right?
All right. And then the second jump.
There we go. All right. And I have to do...
I've got to get used to these weapons, right?
All right. I think my problem is I still have to get used to the weapon.
And we definitely want to get all of this.
Oh, I definitely want this guy, right?
Alright, he's going to give me lots of fun stuff.
Alright, I think I'm good.
I'm going to need...
I've got help on that. So you gotta keep getting these demons to get more quicker than that.
Alright. Okay, okay, okay.
Roundy round, roundy round.
Oh, now one of these dudes...
Oh, my nemesis.
All right, let's see if we can get some help here.
Get more weaponry.
The top thing I've got to get...
right? Okay, let's just run away here.
Jump away, jump away, jump away.
Alright. Oh, I guess I'm not the only guy who can jump, right?
Whoa! Alright.
Let's go and get ourselves our health here.
Oh, wait. What happened to my health?
Hey. There we go.
That's better.
Now I can see.
It's a little tough time to get that top down.
There we go.
Got it.
Hey, where's all my goodies?
They just wrenched the camera away from me.
That's no good. That's no good.
Alright. Oh, I need to get the gas thing, right?
Go get myself some gas.
See, the economy may have come to a grinding halt.
But you can always find a gas canister.
Hey look at this! Better than most modern art that you see!
Why am I making jokes? Oh dear.
Oh dear. Oh very bad.
Double plus I'm good. Alright.
Can I just run away from this dude?
I'm never... Oh! It's stuck!
It got me stuck! It won't let me go!
Where's my free will, game designers?
Oh. Oh there we go. That's okay.
Alright. You've got to go now.
There we go. I think that was my very last bullet.
How exciting. All right. What have we got here?
All right. I love the voice actors.
I don't know how they do it. They just like to spin them slowly on some sort of auger to get those kind of sounds, right?
Frankie, say, relax and kill demons.
All right. Okay, so I have a little gamey-game thing here, right?
Our goal. All right.
Here we go, here we go!
Should we do one more bit?
One more bit? Shoot tentacle chainsaw zombie off.
Chainsaw on the squirrely snobs.
Okay, that does not help me quite as much as you think it might.
All right. Should we play to my next death?
And, hey, I'm happy to keep playing this guy only when you guys are around.
I will give myself that.
It is kind of hypnotic in a way, isn't it?
So pretty. And that's why.
My daughter likes Minecraft. It's like, it's so blocky!
Can't take it. Alright, get this thing.
Yeah, this is general computer humor, where it's like, you get corporate messages in the midst of...
Whoa. I want that?
I want that? No. Okay, so I got him.
Basically, let's just shoot him in the mouth, right?
Those guys. Alright, anything?
Anything? Do-do-do-do.
Do-dee-do-do-do.
Alright, there we go. Did I mean to switch weapons?
I'm not in charge. Hey, when I jumped?
Okay, no. Oh, it's a rolly-four thing.
I only have two weapons, right? Oh, is this a, uh, I gotta go jump and then stick onto that thing, right?
Uh, anything?
Oh, can I jump up there? Oh, no.
Tensing my butt muscles is not helping in the way that I was hoping it would.
Which, you know, usually would. All right.
I think I have to...
Ooh, I wish...
The second, hit the second jump at the peak of the first.
Yeah, okay. No, it's not getting me there.
Once or twice more. I think I have to jump from here and then climb up with that Num Zero thing.
Alright, use the climbing Num Zero.
Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's right, isn't it?
All right, let's try, shall we?
Let there be no... Oh, is there a...
Sorry. Is there a...
Let me try and be a little bit more macho when I'm playing the heavy games.
All right. Is there a sprint?
Is there a sprint? It's brave right, jump, dash, right ship.
There is a sprint, right? Boy, that really doesn't seem to be much different now, does it?
All right, let's try it. Alright.
Uh... Do we go down?
We do, right? We go in...
Oh, no. Now we go down. We go up.
Okay, but now what? Uh...
Help me!
What should I do?
What should I do?
Alright. Uh...
Can I punch it?
No. Can I shoot it?
No. Uh...
What do I do from here?
Okay, so I can go down.
Okay, that's as far down as I can go, right?
Now, there's no way to go from here, right?
All right. We're going to get there.
Oh, there we go. All right.
I got it. Alright, I figured it out.
I figured it out. Alright.
Alright, so let's switch weapons because we're low on ammo.
Oh, oh, oh.
Exit! Oh, hang on.
Tab, do I really care?
Oh yeah, I forgot about the map thing, right?
That's pretty cool. Whoever worked on the map, that's pretty neat.
Alright. Uh, dash ability.
Okay. Oh!
Wow. Whoa!
Hello, dude. Sorry about that.
Uh, if you weren't undead, I would totally not help that way.
Alright. Anything back here?
I always wanted to do that, but it's too hot.
Alright. Alright, anything cool?
I am missing so much stuff here.
I'm gonna play this again, but with less of an audience.
Alright, alright, alright, what have we got here?
There's gonna be a tentacle there, right?
Gonna shoot this thing and blow it up.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, always the toys in the back, right?
I'm not playing on easy, but I think it's actually a little too easy.
All right, all right.
Oh, so when I was a software executive, man, we used to take the R&D team and we would play Unreal Tournament until our eyes bled.
All right, yeah, you guys play with each other.
Can I lure them here?
Wait a minute. Oh, I've got to get to this guy before he stops flashing!
Like the cop with the peeping Tom.
I must get him before he stops flashing!
Alright. I have a feeling that the cars are getting worse and worse as we go forward.
You know, like the number of cars, the quality of the cars are just getting worse and worse.
If you're a car, you want to be in the early part of this game.
Not on the labor.
Alright, what have we got here? You got the gold mine.
I got the shaft. All right.
Low checkpoint. So what does that mean?
I just jumped down? What do you guys think?
Should I just jump down? What do you think?
What do you think? Should I just jump down?
It's looking mighty dark for daddy.
It's a leap of faith.
Unfortunately, I think that...
Unfortunately, I think that...
I'm just gonna have to do it.
Whoa. Bad sounds!
Bad sounds! Bad sounds!
Run to a corner! Hide!
Alright. Let's go down.
Oh, grab on the ropes? Oh no, that's way back.
Man, you guys are back. Alright, I'm going down.
Whee! Come on, let's do it!
Oh, okay, so I'm not supposed to do that.
Alright.
Can you hear?
I can hear stuff.
Wanna go back down here?
That's what I came for, right?
Yeah, it's not that way.
Okay, sorry. Let's go to the one that doesn't say low ammo.
And after this, I promise I will look into how I figure out what my ammo situation is.
Okay, it's time to go to the map.
Yeah, that's uh, I'm not sure that usually helps me there.
Dudes. There we go.
Oh, I can wall climb.
Jesus Christ, sorry.
Sorry.
All right, let's just go hide.
Bad, bad, not bad.
Hallelujah! Alright, we're running away here.
That is a very inappropriate use of the weapon.
What is it? No, probably not.
Oh, no. Oh, no. Floating head.
Floating head. It's CNN! Run!
Okay, let's jump out of this.
Oh. Okay, we'll get that dude.
Get some help. Oh! Tasty armor.
Oh, nipple protection.
That's what we like to see. Alright.
Look, maybe I'll get this.
We need Pac-Man to die.
Well, let's see it.
Some dudes, right? Alright, not bad, not bad.
You know, these guys work out quite a bit.
You'd think they'd be slightly better at this kind of combat.
Alright, we're doing alright.
You know, with the team cheering me on...
There is nothing I cannot achieve.
Oh, now that would be a pretty funky thing to have in your bedroom, wouldn't you say?
You'd wake up every morning, inhale itself.
Alright.
I'm just gonna jump down here, just as I would in real life.
Oh, that's bad, that's bad.
That's bad! And no ammo.
But there's some health. Alright. I like the little decoration thing there.
Oh, yeah. Double plus.
I'm good. Daddy Bot's out of health.
And he's out of health.
No, not out of health. I'm out of ammo.
Oh, oh, oh! There we go.
And all is well Let's keep our fingers on the right key for you Anything to help that dude with Run away, run away, run away.
Wow, I don't know how I saw him so well, but I didn't.
Alright, so can I go down and get stuff?
Is there stuff down here? Whoa!
Oh, not one of these dudes.
Ooh, lots of people.
I'm very popular. I'm very popular.
This is like my early relationship.
This is the mainstream, idiot! Oh, you think that dude's gonna give me some help?
No. That dude will give me some help.
Alright. Run away, run away.
Oh, there's another dude here. Let's get him and...
Okay, let's go down here, get some help.
Oh, come on, dude.
How many people are there?
Run away, run away, run away.
Okay, here we go. Up, up, up, up.
Low ammo. Excellent.
Low ammo. Oh, you know what this means?
It's chainsaw time! Right?
Is that right? I'm going to get this dude.
Oh, yeah.
No, that's good. Jump up here.
This is like the worst game attack in the history of the known universe.
All right. Can I get this dude?
I can get him, right? But he's not going to give me ammo, is he?
Oh yeah, that's right.
I keep thinking they only give you health, but they give you ammo too.
Okay, what do we got going on?
Oh, I don't want that dude.
Let's see if we can stay away from him for a moment and see if we can get a little ammo.
Okay, that's cheating, man.
You have to secure like that.
I'm going to keep the office between me and the boss.
Because I'm low ammo, what do I have to do?
Now maybe I can go upstairs and get this guy in the butt.
He's going to come shooting up here, isn't he?
There we go.
Okay.
More cheating.
All right, we got those guys.
We got those guys.
Oh, I don't like that guy.
Alright, I'm gonna run away.
Alright.
Uh, boy, it'd be nice to know how much ammo I have.
La la la la la la!
I'm feeling seasick.
Oh, there we go.
Got 'em.
All right. Oh, we're back.
Look at that! I'm not dead!
All right, all right.
Low ammo, low ammo.
But I think that means everything's gone.
Oh, there's ammo. All right, we'll take that.
I like how none of the cars survived, but the plants have survived.
The grass survived.
Nothing else. All right.
Oh, I completely missed this ammo.
Unless it wasn't there. I'm sure it was.
All right. Let's just do a quick circle around and see if there's anything that we missed.
I think not. Ooh, that doesn't seem good.
No, can't get through there. All right.
Now, can we shoot through... Oh, this broke, right?
Whoa. Let's forget about the future and get on with the time.
Alright, what do we got here?
Strategic retreat!
Strategic retreat! All right, all right, all right.
What do we got? I think we're just gonna have to go down, aren't we?
We can see through here.
What do we got? What do we got?
Cataracts, apparently. All right, let's just go.
Oh, wait. Now we gotta go.
Oh, death from above.
All right, all right. all right.
Oh, I want that. All right.
Not bad, not bad.
All right. All right, all right.
Glowdust. Glowdust.
Oh, dude. Is this still something here?
I think I'm going to try at higher level.
I'll, uh... I will continue what I've got here.
And there goes the non-aggression principle.
All right, all right. Okay, keep it up again.
Don't cheat. Don't make me cheat.
Oh, what the...
Oh, did I get it?
Did I get it? Nooo!
Extra life acquired!
Excellent. Alright, fine.
Fine! Alright.
Whoops. Okay, I think we got everything to get, right?
Uh, oh god. Low ammo on everything.
What did I do? Jump and run!
Jump and run! Oh, okay.
Good, we have some other idea.
Now, I've got to figure out these other weapons, right?
Oh, sorry, I'm not hungry.
I don't feel like a steak.
Thank you very much. Chainsaw, baby.
Thank you! Not going super well.
Oh, we'll definitely get that.
Thank you very much. What did I get there?
Whee! Fly, my friends, fly!
Oh, there he is. That's a bad dude.
Oh, that's the guy with the...
All right, let's just keep running around and get our good stuff.
Sorry, I didn't get back in here.
But at least I'm not stuck in here.
So, alright. You need a little help here, friends. Thank you. Who else?
Who else? Who's got it?
Who needs it? Come on, Daddy's got it for you!
Who's gonna wanna?
Alright, I think...
Oh, whoa, let's stop thinking, let's stop thinking!
This is not a game for thinking.
This is not Skyrim.
This is all the plot of your average porn movie that I've heard of.
Alright, here we go. Here we go.
Uh... Oh, bad dudes, bad dudes, bad dudes.
That's where I'm going to go, but...
Hey.
All right.
Why do I feel like...
Okay, so that's gotten all the guys nearby.
She is inside that demonic citadel.
I will mark her location on your HUD. Huh?
I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.
Alright, so what have we got here? Mark the location on the HUD. I'm on the HUD. No way to hell.
All right. I feel like I'm leaving something behind.
Is it my pride? Is it my audience?
I don't know. Let's see.
If we go in...
What do you think? Grass is demon puked.
Hello from three minutes ago.
Yeah, I don't know, right? All right.
Well, I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet.
All right. Oh, I've got nothing left with low ammo.
Oh, that's not good. There's some very intense architecture going on here.
Down in the lurky bits.
Come on, give me something in the lurky bits.
You know, the bits that nobody ever thinks to go?
I was playing Skyrim once, and I fell into a waterfall and came across the most obscure little piece of treasure, and I'm like, I bet you I'm the first person to find this, right?
And then I go check online, it's like 3 million people have found it before, and I'm like, oh, we all need to get lives.
Alright. Now, I haven't done much gaming since my daughter was born.
Uh, fast travel. Teleport to predetermined points.
Oh, alright. Toilet roll on level 14.
Molly, take Washington. Okay, that's kind of cool.
Pretty sure bad things are going to happen when I get there, so let's see if there's anything else to get.
Oh yeah, I want this dude, right? Deg Nylux.
One of the three Helpreets.
All right, fine, fine. You know, a couple of fluorescent light bulbs, a couple of throw rocks, you know, some ficus plants.
You could at least boost this place up, I think, a little bit.
Fewer spikes of death.
How about that? Alright.
I have no ammo, so this is probably going to be it for me.
But let's give it a shot. Hey!
Don't let me not move my head!
Oh, come on.
This guy is pure art, man.
This is straight out of the Aliens movie.
It's amazing what these guys can do.
It really is beautiful. How can this be?
No man can pass through the gate, idiot!
What the? No.
That's not my A head, that's my B head.
I'll find that guy because he can't see because he's got a pimple mask.
I was going to call this free to game radio.
Ah... Yeah, my butt looks great, I'll tell you that.
Beautiful. You go too far this time.
You cannot interfere.
Yeah, yeah. We're past the point of non-aggression.
Hold right mouse for the secondary weapons on the guns.
Thank you. I will check that out.
Right-click, micro-missiles.
Good.
Post-COVID-19.
Uh... Wait.
Oh, I did one.
Oh, I didn't do very well, though.
Missed a lot of items.
Codex. Rewards.
Give me Kibble! Give me Kibble!
Okay, good! I got more XP. I'm not sure what that does for me.
That's great, that's great.
Alright, well listen guys, I'll stop here.
Maybe we can do a level every couple days.
I'm gonna space this baby out.
But it's great.
A lot of fun. Thank you for your patience.
Sorry that the trolls baited me into changing the volume settings all the time.
But yeah, it was a lot of fun, guys.
And I'll turn this off now.
And I will see you guys next time.
Let me know what you think. And talk to you soon.
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