All Episodes
Previous Next
Nov. 11, 2019 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
26:55
The Truth About "Maleficent: Mistress of Evil"! Stefan Molyneux and Isabella!
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hi everybody, Stefan Molyneux with...
Isabella! Now, we're going to do this together because we went to go and see Maleficent 2 together and we were enjoying chatting about it so much afterwards and I knew I was going to do a movie review and you said...
I want to join in. You want to join in and I think you've got great stuff to say.
So this is our first joint interview.
Movie review. And you know, this reminds me of the great controversy about my Frozen video.
Do you remember that? No.
The great controversy about my Frozen video is people think that I pretended to be a girl posting on my own video.
Oh my gosh, I didn't know that was about the Frozen video.
Yeah, that's about the Frozen video. That's so rude.
Fake news. People, that's not true.
It's really not true. It's really not true.
Okay, so let's talk about Maleficent 2.
Spoilers. There will be spoilers.
People should be aware of that. Definitely spoilers.
But the one thing we're not going to spoil is our opinion of the movie.
No! It's horrible.
It's a terrible movie and it deserves to be burned to the ground.
It really was.
Horrible. Oh, man.
And I'm a pretty patient guy with movies.
Me too. But...
Like, I mean... This one was like, oh man.
This is depressing. I got jimmy legs.
I didn't mention this. I got jimmy legs.
I don't know if you ever get them.
Like if you're sitting in a plane for a long time or like when you're trying to fall asleep and your legs get kind of like...
I didn't get jimmy legs because I ended up like closing my eyes because I was so bored.
But you didn't actually fall asleep.
I didn't actually fall asleep. I didn't doze but I was kind of like...
Yeah, yeah. I was like, please, please don't have any good computer graphics on there because I'm closing my eyes for a moment.
We didn't sleep, but it was bad.
I got Jimmy legs in the movie. I was so bored, right?
And at one point I said, shall we just bail?
Yeah, I think I asked you, from what I remember, it was like...
Are you enjoying it?
And you just gave me this look that literally said everything.
And I said, do you think we can leave?
And you whispered back, I don't think Mom's going to want to.
She likes finishing the end.
But if it was just us, we would have left.
And this would have been a shorter review.
No, and it's good. Listen, this is advice to the listeners out there.
Don't watch it. No, no.
First of all, get married to someone who always wants to stay to the bitter end.
That's really, really important.
But it was bad.
So let's talk about the movie itself.
It didn't start off too bad.
And so there are going to be spoilers on this.
Definitely. But it didn't start off too bad because they go and they capture these mushroom fairies, right?
Yeah. They want to create this dust that injures the magical creatures, right?
I think so. So right at the beginning, there are these cute, cute, cute little things.
And what do we know about Disney?
Toys. Toys.
It's like that blue thing. The thing with the blue thing in it.
The thing with the blue thing. Oh, wait.
The sky. No, wait.
The ocean. No.
The tuna in the ocean.
What? The movie that Disney made.
The stuff that's at Disney Spring that spits stuff.
Oh, Lilo and Stitch.
Yeah. Okay. And I've never watched all of that.
So, Disney is like a giant marketing machine to sell toys.
And you can really see.
They're throwing everything at the wall to just see what sticks in terms of things that kids might like.
Oh, good lord, yeah. So... At the beginning, it was not too bad.
A bit of adventure. You see Maleficent kind of half and half.
That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. I was annoyed.
I'm like, oh my god, can I just see her already?
Yeah, yeah. Anticipation, right?
Yeah. And then the princess we call...
Princess Drip. Princess Drip.
She's just kind of drippy.
I've had enough of this, though.
She's just pretty and dewy-eyed and dimply.
Anyway, so she's sitting in this throne of, like, wood.
Leaves. Leaves or whatever it is, right?
Yeah, whatever. And she's trying to give all these orders to the little cutesy woodland creatures...
And I'm like, oh, come on.
This is just kind of cutie-cutie.
And then... It's like a human cannot live in the bright, sunny, happy forest.
At least this is in that video.
Because whenever we go on hikes in the forest, it's like, good lord, I thought I put on mosquito repellent.
Oh, that's the thing. Why does it look like it's about to rain?
I swear, if we're stuck up here when it rains, Dad, I'm never letting you take me on a hike again or something.
No. Well, here's the thing, right? So, with Disney, you also get, and it's true for a lot of kids' movies, right?
You get the city-country split, right?
City-country divide. So, tell me about that.
So, it's mainly, like, the humans and the destroyers, they, like, come kill stuff or whatever.
They set fire to things. They tear it down.
Same thing happened in Lord of the Rings, right?
But in the country... But in the country, it's like...
Dad, you know video's not on, right?
I was doing my cute fluffy bunny imitation, which is good because it didn't shake today.
That looks like you were trying to dig into your cheeks.
Yeah, that's... The city-country divide and everything in the country is really, really cute.
And this sort of goes to this cliche in kids' movies, right?
The cliche goes something like this.
There are these lovely fluffy animals and bunnies and squirrels with big flowers and they're all the big giant manga eyes, right?
Like they just got startled or some of these like hit them with a carrot in some place uncomfortable.
And they're all out there in this beautiful and there are no bugs and they're like no disease and no wolves tearing apart like when we went on that hike.
That would actually happen. Remember we went on that hike and we found the rabbit bones.
The rabbit bones, right? Yeah.
And then there are these evil land developers.
You know, they just want to come in there to tear down all the trees and they want to build a mall.
Yeah, listen, the funny thing is they give a blast and what were we sitting on like 50 years ago?
Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's funny, right?
So they say, oh, you've got to leave everything natural, man.
Don't rip down things to build them all.
And we're going to show you a movie about this in a mall that used to be a forest.
And then this whole lame thing with the crown, right?
Like, she's got this crown.
She's like, I've had enough of this.
And the little hedgehog thing or whatever it is, right?
I'm going to call it Mystery Hedgehog Dude.
Mystery hedgehog dude. He grabs the crown from her and then it goes bouncing along and she gets all kinds of impatient and foot stompy and then...
And she's like, I've had enough of this.
I don't have time for this.
It's like, and what are you going to do?
Eat strawberries? And then it bounces down and then she...
Falls into a river. Falls into the river.
That's our first warning sign.
You and I, I remember we just gave each other a look like, uh-oh, did we just make a giant steak?
Yeah, it's like, dudes, I know you need to sell some toys.
Isn't it like a two-hour movie or something?
Hour and a half? Hour 40?
I don't remember. It felt long.
It felt long. There's the time on the watch and then there's the subjective time of just...
Stretching out the story.
When we're having fun, sometimes when we're driving and having conversations or whatever, or even when we're doing a show, it feels like 10 minutes when it's actually an hour-long drive or something.
That's right. But when you're...
What is it called? Time flies when you're having fun.
And what did you say?
And I added, time dies when you're being dumb.
It's true. It's hard to argue.
And so that's all kind of lame.
It gets better when Maleficent comes into the actual...
That one line that she did, Don't Ruin My Morning, was really hilarious, even though it was like four words, five syllables.
Yeah, don't ruin my morning.
And she says it like, don't ruin my morning.
Um, too much of a British accent.
Was I too British? Yeah. Don't ruin my morning!
Too Scottish. Too Scottish?
Hey, you can never be too Scottish.
Yes, you can. Can you?
Alright. I'm too Scottish. Okay, what is the sound of bagpipes?
Dying cat parade. There you go.
It's a dying cat parade. For people who don't get that, that's a clip that my dad wanted to show me from Friends.
It's the funniest thing that's ever, ever aired on television is that it's Ross playing the bagpipes.
I'm just telling you that right now. Is that a dying cat parade?
I've seen it like four times because he keeps forgetting he showed me.
So there's two groups, right?
Well, three groups, I guess, right?
So there's the humans, there's the magical creatures, and then there are the dark fairies.
They're dark fairies, but I kind of call them dragon dudes because it's easier than saying evil slash good phoenix people.
Right, right. So we'll call them Skyfarers or whatever, right?
You know what we're talking about.
So there's this disastrous dinner, which is...
No, I thought it was better. That was cool.
I thought, I'm like, I had hope.
I really had hope. Yeah, you've got cats frozen in midair, and there's this dinner, and then...
Because cats. And then, so Maleficent flies away, and she gets shot with this big...
And what's the metal they hate?
Iron. Right, so...
No, copper. Okay, good.
So she gets shot, and then she tumbles from the sky, and then she goes over a waterfall, and she gets saved by some other dark...
Fairy dude. Mystery. We thought she was the last one.
And then she wakes up.
We don't know where she is, right? You think she's in a cloud or something like that?
No, I thought she possibly was in the hole if there were a few more.
So she gets shot with this iron bullet that's supposed to be the worst thing for her.
It's worse than a bullet to a human being.
And then she wakes up and she's got this big hole in her side.
And then what does she do?
Well, first, right before I say that, it's like a bullet except with poison in it, so that even if the bullet, let's say, hits you in the foot so it doesn't kill you, the poison will slowly kill you about like a day later.
Yeah, yeah, so it's like the worst thing.
So she's got this poisonous bullet in her side, and then what does she do?
She gets up, she winces, she whatever, right?
And then she just, oh, here's a big hole, let's just jump down it.
Okay, so this, I gotta tell you, this drives me literally insane.
And it's driven me insane since I was about your age, because what happens is, you see these big fights, right?
And guys get, like, punched in the face, and they get pushed downstairs, and then they jump up, and they're like, they spit out some blood, maybe half a tooth, and they just go right back into fighting again, right?
Yeah. Okay, so tell me your last...
Last big injury, what happened? So the one when we tried to climb a tree, he was going to boost me up a tree.
He was going to give you a boost, we didn't work it out properly.
We have one of these, like, something?
Oh, the polystyrene plane.
I was going to say polysphere, and I'm like, what?
It's a polysporium plane. So they're like, polysphere, and I'm like, that's not even a word.
Well, they're just like foam planes, right?
Yeah, we threw it and he threw it.
No, I'm kidding. I threw it.
But the wind took it and it took it into a tree and I'm like, okay, not a bad tree to climb.
The only issue is just getting up because I'm good at climbing trees.
First eight feet, first ten feet is tough, right?
But I thought, hey, I'll give you a boost, but we didn't work it out.
It was my fault, right? And I wasn't prepared for exactly what would happen.
So I tried to lift you up, you fell over, and you fell onto a tree branch, right?
And that was sore, right?
I remember I had issues.
It was like 2 a.m.
when I ended up getting to sleep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, so my point is, like any kind of reasonable injury or something that hurts, you're not just up and jumping.
So it's like if you sprain your ankle, you don't say, hey, I think I'm going to jump down a well.
But she gets shot, and she jumps down a hole.
Anyway, so it turns out that these dark fairies...
They're down to like 200 of them.
They've been hunted almost to extinction or driven off.
Because people are evil. Yeah, all the people are evil.
So then...
There's a war. We can sort of get over sort of how it comes about, right?
But there's a war. No, but she starts flying around and acting as though it never happened.
Who? Maleficent.
Remind me? Remember right after when she jumps down that hole?
Yeah. She starts flying around.
Oh, yeah, yeah. And then she's like, oh, bullet?
Oh, poison? Oh, nothing.
No problem. I'm flying around like a hummingbird.
I can't fly. I believe.
Okay. So, anyway, there's a war between the Dark Fairies and the humans.
Now, give me a scenario here.
You're Maleficent.
Don't ruin my morning.
You're Maleficent and you are now the queen of the dark fairies, right?
Dragon dudes. And you want to wage war against a human city.
What's your plan? I would gather everybody up in whatever speech room they had, or do you want, just anywhere.
And I'd say, okay, so what we're going to do is, this is a rocky island, it's not going to be too hard to carve buckets.
And I'm literally not kidding, I'd get buckets full of seawater.
As they fly in from the sea, which you can see that, huh, Mickey.
They, like, they just pick up the buckets right there, so they have to fly it, because there's a sea right there, and I'm not kidding, if you were shooting an arrow, or at least trying to do something, and you just got a bucket of seawater just dropped on your face, that would not be a good day.
It could sting your eyes and all that. So the point is...
That could disarm me for a minute, maybe.
What is the one thing that they could do that the people can't do?
Fly. So what they have to do, they have to get bow and arrows, buckets of seawater, because you know seawater, and giant rocks, giant logs, whatever.
Whatever they can find. They could get spears, they could do bows and arrows, shoot from high.
I don't know if he said that, but it kind of got the impression that they've been preparing for war a long time.
So you should have made spears, you should have made bow and arrows, you should have made swords.
And at the very end of the movie, I'm just going to skip it forward a tiny bit, at the very end of the movie, you can see this one person, he's cheering, and he has like a four-year-old winged kid.
Oh, the dark fairy brought a toddler to a battle.
It's like, who does that?
Yeah, no, that's... What type of idiot brings a toddler to a battle?
So the one advantage that these dark fairies have is that they can fly, and they never use it.
They never use it. Because they basically come in just at the, it's called the parapet, you know, like that little thing at the top of the castle, right, where the archers are.
So these dark...
Yeah. Fairies, they come in just at that height, and the king and queen, I guess at this point, they've made these balloons full of dust that dissolves magically.
I'm going to call it red dust because it's somewhere in the color of red wine.
Something like that. Let's just call it red dust.
Yeah, so the red dust dissolves the fairies, right?
Yeah. The dark fairies. So the dark fairies come in, flying at the town, just at the right height, not too low, not too high, just at the right height, so they can all be disintegrated by this red dust.
Do they say, oh, this is terrible.
Only 200 of us were almost extinct.
We need to go higher. Yeah, we need to fly higher.
No, they just keep flying into it.
It's like... It's so annoying.
But... Now listen, I have sympathy because, you know, there's only a few of them left, but at this point I'm beginning to figure out why.
Because they have like the brains of a sun-dried tomato when it comes to battle.
So that's kind of annoying.
So then eventually they realize that they're just flying into this dissolving dust and they're like, withdraw, withdraw, right?
He said retreat. Retreat, retreat.
And this is the guy who starts off with a speech, right?
And then what is the rest of his lines in the movie?
Ugh. Ugh.
Ugh. Like at one point he actually just goes, ugh.
Well, yeah. Mr.
Asthma. I'm going to skip ahead really fast, though.
There's this queen, and she's in a room, and three escape paths get blocked off by these dark fairies, and then she turns around to completely exit the whole room and go to some different part of a palace, and she bumps into him, and he goes, ugh.
Ugh. Yeah, that's his line, man.
You can do it better because you're a guy, but I'm like...
Yeah, well, if you have a bad cold, you might be able to...
Okay, so the dark fairies withdraw, and they're like, wow, that's not really working.
Wow. I don't know why. So normally you'd say, okay, well, either not going to fight or we're going to find some other way to fight, particularly being too high to get shot with arrows and stuff, or that blue dust, or the red dust.
So what's the next plan that they have to defeat the human town?
Oh, let's go really, really low so they can't see us.
And then they kind of like...
It's not like they're flying below radar or something.
I wish I could sketch it out, but since this is like non-video stuff, I can't.
So they fly low and then they come up the wall.
And then it never occurs to them that somebody may be looking over the wall.
And the queen shouts something like, now!
Or whatever. And they put up the red dust and...
That's okay. That's going to take out the first couple, right?
Maybe the first row, a few the second row.
And the others can just swerve.
But they kept flying straight into it.
It's like, do you have the reflex? There was this tweet.
I don't know if anybody who's watched it has seen it.
You've got to look it up. Slow reaction lizard.
Slow reaction salamander.
Salamander, that's right. And it was this underwater.
Someone dropped food and it landed on its nose.
And about a second after it hit the ground, the salamander snapped its mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slow, slow reaction.
It's worth looking up. And this is the thing too, right?
So they know that there are all these guys on the top of the wall with this deadly red dust.
And so they're like, don't worry, we'll be invisible.
Like they're still flying straight towards us.
It's daytime and it's a white tower wall or a yellow tower wall.
So they come flying up, totally visible, and then they all just get killed again.
And it's like, oh my God. Seriously, that amount of killing, there should be none left.
That's just all kinds of wrong.
Everybody looks there, it looks ugly, but Maleficent, I keep wanting to call her Magnificent.
And once, like, previously when we were talking about the show, before we actually did it, I called her Magleficent.
Magleficent, right, right. Magleficent, or something like that.
It was really funny. Right, right.
So you were going to say, Maleficent?
Yeah, I was going to say, everybody else has these ragged clothes and looks like when the apes just started turning into people, kind of evolving into people or whatever.
And they looked exactly like that.
And Maleficent has this good makeup.
Oh yeah, she looks basically like the god of penguins.
Okay, so let's do one other thing too.
So what's the relationship?
This is another thing to look out for in movies, right?
What's the relationship between how long it takes for someone to die and how good and sympathetic they are?
Just out of curiosity, did you notice any of that at all?
So the good guy who died...
He was like second in command, was he or something like that?
I don't know, but... He was pretty high up. Yeah, but they had to go check something out in the mainland, so I don't know how they got there in like 10 minutes, but you want whatever.
Bad logic, bad physics, whatever.
But they got there and he got shot with an arrow.
Yeah. Arrow, metal thing.
And when he got back, he like slowly died.
I don't know, like they even tried to heal him or something.
I don't know what they were doing. But it did not work well.
And that's to give you sympathy, right?
Yeah, but I didn't feel that much sympathy because they had the brains of sun-dried tomatoes.
Well, they had a big battle going on.
And, you know, I hate to sound cold or anything, but, you know, it's like, dude, you know, here's some medicine.
We've got to go fight this battle.
We'll be right back. Or something like that.
But just give him something that puts him to sleep so get him out of the pain.
Because Maleficent was like just hanging out there and she was like the most important person in the battle, right?
It's like, if you're going to battle, you might want to bring your most important dude.
Like if there's a war happening, they don't just leave out the helicopters thinking, we'll be fine.
Now, the other thing too, so the actress, Angelina Jolie, like she's kind of nutty in real life, but she's a good actress.
She's a good actress. She's a good actress.
They gave her like 15 lines.
They gave her like no dialogue in the movie.
They might as well just had a robot play her, right?
Because remember that bit where she's practicing how to greet the king?
That was hilarious. Okay, give me, give me.
Shall I do it?
You do it first. Okay, so she said, thank you for welcoming me.
Thank you for welcoming me into your home.
It was something like, thank you for welcoming me into your home.
It's like, yeah, a little bit less like you want to kill them.
Yeah, something like that.
And she tried it again in a bit more friendly but, like, innocently evil way.
Yeah, yeah, she's really good.
She's really good. Like, thank you for inviting me to dinner or something like that.
And he's like, okay, maybe a little, do you want?
That's good. All right. Let's talk a little bit about Princess Drip.
She just spends a whole lot of time fainting and being upset and crying and all of that.
Her entire dialogue is...
Well, no, because she also...
Who does she run into in the woods at the beginning of the movie?
Prince Longhair. Prince Longhair, right?
So there's Princess Drip and Prince Longhair.
They're going to have a kid like...
No, I called it Prince Drip Hair.
Prince Drip Hair. That will be their kid's name, right?
No, when he grows up, King Drip Hair.
King Drip Hair. So at the end of the movie, right, so the queen, the evil queen, is going to shoot Princess Drip, Aurora, Princess Drip, and then Maleficent turns around and takes the bullet, right?
And it's one of these iron things, isn't it?
They're going to dissolve her, right?
Yeah. And she poofs into, like, ash and dust.
Shards, shards. Mainly, I thought it was, like, a bunch of black shards or whatever and a bit of ash.
Yeah. Yeah. So that awful, and you think, wow, I guess she wanted too much to come into the sequel for money, right?
So we think, oh my gosh, Maleficent is dead.
And it's a little bit of a shock, right?
Because I don't think they're going to cheat.
But they do. They cheat.
The cheaters! Okay, tell me how they cheat.
You tell. Okay.
It's your turn. Iron is the worst possible thing ever, right?
And she gets hit full on with iron and she disintegrates.
So you think, oh man, she's done.
Because iron hurt her before, right?
Iron doesn't make her stronger. Remember the bullet hole she got at the beginning?
That was... Rough. Right, so she got the bullet hole, and that was supposed to be the worst thing ever.
She would have drowned. It's not supposed to make you stronger.
It's not like sunbeams and tentacles and rays of power and lasers.
No, Dad, we called it phoenix gut.
It's not like her liver turned into a little phoenix and gave her additional flying powers or something.
No, feathers. So this iron that's supposed to totally destroy her, what does it do?
I turn into a phoenix gold.
She becomes even more powerful if you strike me down.
Right? She becomes even more powerful.
That's totally cheating. If you've got a rule in the movie which says that iron harms these creatures...
She couldn't even touch the cutlery.
Like, good lord. That's right.
That's right. So if you've got a rule in the movie that says iron harms these creatures, you can't get one of the creatures fully shot, have them disintegrate, and have them come back even more powerful.
Like, that's totally cheating.
Like, that's like having a war movie where some guy gets shot in the chest and turns into a tank.
Like, that just makes no sense.
I'm just making a mental note here.
Make war movie where a guy gets shot in the chest and turns into a tank.
Okay, so at the end of the battle, things get really silly, right?
So the battle is resolved, and we don't have to get into sort of how, but...
But goatness.
Oh yeah, the girl turns into a goat.
She doesn't even die. She just turns into a goat with a necklace.
She does, and then she later, much later, she gets her own video game.
So, at the end of the war, things are really crazy because these 200 of the dark fairies, it's all that's left, they're down to like 50 or 40 or something like that.
So, they're basically almost completely wiped out.
Yeah. But then, Princess Drip and Prince Longhair decide to have, they get married, and all of the dark fairies who've just been battling to the death and seen three quarters of their entire species wiped out, and they're all like, yay, it's a wedding, I'm so happy! They pump their chest and we'll...
Yeah, and it makes no sense.
And a four-year-old! What the heck was a four-year-old doing there?
Yeah, yeah, we mentioned that. And also there's one scene where one of the dark fairies is flirting with the king of the guards, right?
Goo-googly kissy eyes, right?
Yeah, and we're just... You gave me this look like, what is happening?
What is going on? You guys were just about to kill each other.
He killed like four of them or something.
And you're a completely different species.
How are you going to get married?
It makes no sense at all.
Are you going to have, like, butt-winged fairy dudes?
That's going to be one of the side movies, the butt-winged fairy.
Sun-dried tomato with googly eyes, butt-winged fairy dudes.
We've got a title for the show. So let's talk real briefly about two other things.
The one is the church, right?
So all of the magical fairy Disney happy meal creatures, they come in and they're locked in the church and then this crazy woman plays this pipe organ, right?
She looked like her head was lying like she was just about to faint or something.
Like that was creepy. Right, right.
Well, there's this great singer named Stevie Wonder who's blind who kind of had his head move like that.
He was an incredible musician, great singer.
But still, she's not blind and she's like, I'm a dying zombie.
And there's this one red key on the organ.
A bunch of them. And she pushes that and it out puffs this red dust that slowly decays all of these creatures.
Sorry for interrupting, but you saw on the battlefield, the dark fairies, one cloud of dust would kill like 15 of them.
But this tons and tons and tons of clouds of dust killed like three trees.
Well, and these trees are giant.
They could have picked her up.
They could have just ripped out the windows.
Yeah, yeah. And if they're that big, they could have broken through the traps on the door and stuff like that.
Yeah, something like that. And then there were those three fairies with the creepy human faces.
Those things were scary.
Like the giant bugs? You would feel bad swatting?
Excuse me.
No, I mean, they were creepy.
It's like a squished pancake face.
Yeah. Put on to this, like, extremely makeup, and there was, like, old faces, and this, like, happy young fairy is...
Yeah, so that just, and that went on and on.
And then also, wait, wait, wait, that blue fairy, like, why?
I mean, okay, yeah, I guess she's a special fairy, whatever, but she goes into the tunnel because she has to block herself or whatever.
The tunnel where the dust comes out.
And she's the only one who gets this giant explosion of flowers.
Like the other ones, I remember there was this dandelion thing and they turned into one little daisy or dandelion or whatever.
And then she gets tons and tons and tons of flowers when she dies.
Yeah, yeah. It's not a sentimental death, right?
It's supposed to make you feel even worse, right?
Okay, so last thing we want to talk about, and you didn't see this in the first movie, so in the first movie, more spoilers, Princess...
Drip. Drip.
She gets stuck with a needle and falls into a sleep, and the needle leaves a mark on her that's...
Yeah, go ahead. I'm not going to explain how I got bitten by a water beetle or water bug or whatever you're going to call it.
I did. I was in a pond.
I was trying to catch frogs or tadpoles or whatever and a baby snapping turtle, but let's not get into that.
Let's just get into the fact that one of them crawled out of the net, one of the little water bugs, and bit my arm.
And it was weird. It looked exactly like the pinprick that the king had on his arm.
And, spoiler for the next part that we're going to talk about, and the princess drip had her finger.
But it was right black, pinprick black in the middle, like just a tiny pinprick of black.
And a welt, like a ring around it.
Swelled white on the outside, and a tiny, tiny rim of red when the skin stopped swelling.
Yeah, yeah. And so she'd had this and fell asleep.
Now, at the dinner we talked about earlier, the king falls asleep and everyone thinks Maleficent did it.
And it's like, that's the aurora out of everybody should say, no, no, wait, that's exactly what happened.
So check him for creepy water bug bites.
Check him for the same wealth that had me fall asleep forever.
Okay, the queen was next to it.
We walk up the queen. Right and so they didn't do any of that and so you need this like oh we got to prove that it wasn't Maleficent and we got to prove that it was the Queen and then they're like look his arm and it wasn't even covered it was like right there like they hadn't noticed this big giant well it was exactly the same as the kid who'd fall in half well if you're gonna stab him stab his like shirt or his side or something where it's not that's such an obvious place yeah yeah no it's uh the logic just all all kind of fell apart at the end so um Dad, if you could change the movie...
Like, if you could change it...
Oh, if I was the script to Doctor?
Like, if I had to come in... Minus 100 to plus 100.
Okay, well, let's do... So, are we going to rate it, or how could we fix it?
Burn it. Like, start the whole thing over, okay?
Just, like, take the whole script and, like...
Disney, stop making toys!
Well, that's not going to happen.
Yeah, then we regretted it because I... So, you think, like, just...
Burn it! So, from plus 100 to minus 100, where are you going to rate this one?
Minus 666. What?
That is pretty specific.
Alright. Specific. I would give it kind of like a minus 20.
The only reason it wouldn't be lower is I'm still a sucker for computer graphics in movies.
Dad, forget it, okay? It's...
I have a weakness. I'm not proud of it.
It's very shallow. Watch how there was. Just watch completely animated movies.
Yeah. I mean, it's not like...
No! No!
So, two thumbs up, two thumbs down, or two thumbs poking directly in the eyeballs?
Eyeballs. Okay. All right.
So, that's definitely a negative for Maleficent 2.
Let us know. Oh, what do I always forget to say?
Subscribe. And?
Like. Like and share.
So, thanks, everyone. We look forward to your feedback, and we'd love to do more of these movie reviews.
Let us know what you think.
Subscribe! If you'd like more tangents.
Absolutely. I will hunt you down in your house if you don't subscribe.
Okay. Or if you don't look at my dragon tweets, And share them too.
Alright, thanks everyone. Lots of love from us here.
I will hunt you down. And we'll talk to you soon.
▲
Export Selection