Sept. 2, 2019 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
01:28:13
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| All right, all right, everybody. | |
| How you doing? It's Stefan Molyneux, of course, from Freedomain. | |
| I hope you're having a wonderful Sunday. | |
| And thanks so much for joining me to chat philosophy on this lovely day. | |
| What is it? September the 2nd, 2019. | |
| And again, just a great pleasure to chat with you guys. | |
| It's nice to have the option here to... | |
| Chat on a Sunday. | |
| Fire things up. So this is a call-in show, of course, and I put these out. | |
| I'll try and figure out a more regular schedule for these kinds of things, but for right now, we're just going to do them on a catch-as-catch-can basis, and I guess we'll jump straight into the calls, and the first person who wants to talk, her name is... | |
| Angel. Let's see if we have Angel on the line. | |
| Angel, are you here with me? | |
| Can you hear me? Yes. | |
| I'm guessing this is not Angel, unless you have some sort of bi-based stripper name. | |
| Wow, I just can't believe I'm talking to the great Stefan Molyneux. | |
| Well, thank you very much. Nice to chat with you, too. | |
| Likewise. So... | |
| I've actually emailed you a couple days ago, and I know you'll probably get a million of these. | |
| And I just mainly want to talk about isolation and just social anxiety, which, I mean, to be fair, you have done, like, a lot of videos on this very recently, and I just want to talk about it. | |
| I appreciate the caveats, but just get straight to the question, how can I help you most? | |
| Got you. Got you. | |
| So I recently just moved from my parents' place to a new state, and I'm living alone for the first time. | |
| And I'm not the kind of person to go outside and be social. | |
| I kind of never was. But I have a pretty decent job in engineering. | |
| But ever since living alone, I've kind of felt the weight of just being alone. | |
| It's really, really heavy on me. | |
| You know, coming home and it's an empty house, it's kind of pretty difficult to take on, right? | |
| It's a funny thing, eh? Hang on, so I just wanted to point out, for those of you who are sort of young and still in school, so when you're in school in particular, You have like a ready-baked social circle, right? | |
| So you're there with other people. | |
| You're in the same environment. | |
| You're in the same classrooms. You have the same topics. | |
| And most of those people, especially if you're in university, are kind of away from their parents. | |
| So they're looking for social engagements, often, of course, of a romantic kind. | |
| And also, this is before people kind of scatter themselves. | |
| To pursue careers, to get married, to have kids. | |
| And, you know, once you pass through that having kids threshold, your life just becomes about the kids for quite a long time. | |
| So for those of you who don't kind of understand what this fine caller is talking about, wait till you... | |
| Graduate. And I'll give you a tiny story to sort of illustrate that. | |
| So when I, after high school, I had no particular money to go to college, although I wanted to because it was less insane back in those days. | |
| You know what it was with college when I went? | |
| It was more of a challenge and less of an impossibility. | |
| In other words, the leftist mudslide was not coming down so fast that you couldn't inch your way up with strength and resolution. | |
| I don't think that's the case anymore. | |
| But... When I left high school, I went to work. | |
| So my father's a geologist and he knew a guy, a friend of his was in Canada who got me a job gold panning and prospecting, all that kind of stuff. | |
| And I spent some time in a quaint, somewhere between a town and a city, quaint little place in mid to northern Ontario called Thunder Bay, or as it's known locally, Thunder Bay. | |
| And in Thunder Bay, I was kind of like you. | |
| I was there. I was working with this woman. | |
| She was a nice woman, but wasn't particularly chatty. | |
| And I got kind of bored. | |
| You sort of work during the day, and then you come back, and it's kind of dull. | |
| And I'd go to discos, and I'd go to bars, and I'd chat with women or whatever it is. | |
| But for the most part, it got kind of dull. | |
| And I remember I had a gym membership at the Thunder Bay University. | |
| I think it's Lakehead. And I was in a sauna, and a guy came in, and we just fell to chatting. | |
| And, you know, we like the same movies and all this kind of stuff. | |
| And it's funny because I felt like it was almost like trying to pick up a friend. | |
| But you really can't do that, of course, when you're naked and sweating in a sauna. | |
| But it is odd. | |
| You know, it's odd when you move someplace new. | |
| Everyone has their lives. You don't have this ready-made conveyor belt of people who want a social life like you do. | |
| And it's kind of tough to crack it. | |
| Now, everyone already has their friends. | |
| They may have their husband, their wife, their kids. | |
| It's kind of tough to crack that in. | |
| Like, you have to bring a lot to the table to make up for just people who've grown up together. | |
| Does that sort of make sense in what it is that you're facing? | |
| Yeah, especially since the town that I'm in right now is very, very rural. | |
| So it's pretty difficult to find somebody. | |
| And, you know, to be honest with you, I'm just getting straight to the point. | |
| I mainly just want a girlfriend. | |
| I've been single for a really long time. | |
| Let's just put it that way. And, you know, one of my things that, like, I definitely got from you and, you know, Styx and Steven Crowder, it's just the fact that I really want to become a dad, to be honest with you. I really want to become a father. | |
| And my mind is almost, like, breaking itself because I really want not just a girlfriend, but, like, A lifetime partner that I can trust. | |
| That's really all I really want. | |
| It's really painful. I'm only 23, but the 20s go by the fastest. | |
| I'm really struggling with that kind of anxiety. | |
| I have a good paying job. | |
| I'm in a pretty Republican area. | |
| I have two parents that love me. | |
| I have no issue with my parents, but I'm in this dichotomy of I want a girlfriend, but at the same time, I'm scared of relationships, mainly because of the whole, you know, Me Too movement and, you know, that kind of stuff and, like, the whole insult thing, so... | |
| Right. Yeah. Well, not to be cruel, but you've probably heard the old joke, what does an engineer use for birth control? | |
| His personality. Boom. | |
| Listen, you sound like a great guy. | |
| You have two loving parents who are together, I assume, so you've got a great template, a great model of a relationship. | |
| So then the question is, let me ask you this. | |
| So when you wanted to get a job in the engineering field, how much work did you put into it? | |
| Oh my God. Like, how long did it take to get this job? | |
| No, no. What was your level of effort to get the job? | |
| Oh God. Well, just starting from college, it was... | |
| Because I'm in chemical engineering. | |
| So just in college, it was pretty difficult. | |
| And then getting this first job, it was insanely, insanely difficult. | |
| Right. And I know that because you're in a small town, which probably wasn't your first choice, right? | |
| Well, I'm actually in a town in one of my favorite states, so it's actually pretty good. | |
| I'm actually exactly where I want to be. | |
| Right. So, let me just ask you this. | |
| In an average week when you were looking for work, how much time did you spend looking for work? | |
| Oh, I was in every single job position. | |
| Job search engine that you could possibly think of. | |
| And you were maybe working contacts or friends that you had, and you were sending emails to companies you liked, and you were unmessaged. | |
| When you're looking for work, looking for work is a full-time job, if you're serious about it, right? | |
| Yeah. I was sending, I think it was like 50 applications a day. | |
| I was talking to family members that had jobs already. | |
| I'm like, can you please? I just need something. | |
| I just need something. And it took about a year post-graduation to get this job right now. | |
| So you have to look at finding a wife like finding a job. | |
| Yeah, I did start doing that. | |
| I really don't like... | |
| Like dating websites or dating apps. | |
| No, no, don't do any of that. | |
| Because I'm in a world... | |
| No, the best way to meet women is face-to-face. | |
| The best way to meet women is in some environment where you can look a woman in the eye, where there isn't that heavily made-up, massive filter, fat-hiding selfie shot, right, which is always kind of baffling, where you can get a sense of who she is based on body language, based on eye contact, based on a relaxed tone of voice and so on. | |
| And so, in general, I mean, the way that I sort of worked at trying to find girlfriends or a more permanent relationship is... | |
| And it's funny, too, but listen, this is a while ago, and I sort of am aware of the Me Too stuff, obviously, right? | |
| So I get all of that. I'm just telling you sort of my experience. | |
| You just... Have to chat with women. | |
| And it's a funny little thing. | |
| You just have to chat with women. | |
| You just have to say... | |
| For example, you see a woman in a lineup. | |
| You're getting your sad little bachelor groceries, right? | |
| And you see a woman in a lineup. | |
| You just make a comment or you make a joke or something like that and just see, is she warm? | |
| Is she friendly? Now, of course, she could be married and, you know, it's always perfectly civil and all of that. | |
| But just get used to striking up conversations. | |
| And if you get used to striking up conversations, then sooner or later, you know, you send out 50 job applications probably a day, a week, a month or whatever to find the job that you have now. | |
| You've got to really, you know, quantity results in quality. | |
| In the same way, like you send out a bunch of job applications, you get the right one eventually. | |
| In the same way, just chat with a bunch of, listen, a woman or a man should have no problem having a joke in a line, right? | |
| or anything like that. | |
| You can get into conversations with people fairly easily if you're sort of positive and friendly. | |
| It's funny because I sort of sail through life having constant conversations, just constant conversations with people. | |
| And that hasn't changed after I got married or anything like that, but that's how I used to. | |
| I mean, there's a reason why I do these kinds of shows and it's because I've had a lot of practice just having conversations. | |
| I just love chatting with people. | |
| I know you're an engineer, right? | |
| So, I mean, this may not be second nature to you, but if you look at it like trying to find a job and just chat with people and, you know, you may come across someone who's friendly, you may come across with someone who you can tell wants to chat with you back and then you can chat a little longer and all of that. | |
| And if you, you know, so again, obviously be perfectly respectful if people aren't feeling chatty, if they're in a bad mood or having a bad day, give them all the space that they need in the world. | |
| But try and find a circle of friends, of course, there, because a great way to meet people is through friends, friends who know you and friends who know the girl, and hopefully they'll have some sense of how your jigsaw puzzle pieces of personality might fit together. | |
| But you have to kind of look at it like, okay, I'm on a mission. | |
| I'm on a mission to find a rare woman who's going to fit and work with me. | |
| So joining a gym is great. | |
| If you like exercise, you'll at least meet women who like exercise. | |
| I met women in yoga class and aerobics classes and all that kind of stuff. | |
| So whatever it is that you like to do, just make it part of your social activity to go do it. | |
| You like photography, join a photography club. | |
| You like hiking, join a hiking club. | |
| And then immediately you're going to whittle out a lot of people who don't share particularly similar interests. | |
| So yeah, so be friendly with people, chat a lot with people, and try and get a circle of friends who can introduce you, and just join clubs with stuff that you're interested in, whether it's sports or art or whatever it is, and you'll find people that way. | |
| And if they're taken, maybe they got a sister or a cousin or a friend or something like that. | |
| So that's sort of my thoughts. | |
| But tell me what, I mean, you may have done all those things, but those are my sort of initial thoughts. | |
| Well, I mean, I do work out. | |
| I do go to a gym. | |
| But see, and that's the unfortunate part. | |
| And the thing is, I'm afraid of rejection. | |
| What can I say? I've been through some really bad relationships in the past. | |
| And it's been pretty bad, almost to the point of suicide. | |
| Oh my gosh. In two cases. | |
| What happened? Yeah, in two cases. | |
| Well... Remember how I said about the Me Too movement? | |
| Oh. Did you get snagged in that? | |
| Uh-huh. To the point where I was actually afraid of leaving my house. | |
| Can you just give me some broad strokes what happened? | |
| We went out. | |
| I didn't want to... | |
| She broke up with me. | |
| I moved on quickly. | |
| Two years later, when I was in college, she messaged me saying, I'm going to call the police and said that you did this. | |
| XXX. Do you know why? | |
| I mean, two years? How long were you guys going out? | |
| A couple months, maybe like two months. | |
| And do you have any idea why she boomeranged on you this way? | |
| Probably because I... It was probably because I moved on very, very quickly. | |
| Wait, you mean you dated another girl real quick? | |
| Well, no, no, no, no. I moved on. | |
| After we broke up, I moved on. | |
| Because I was also going into college, and I was just like, all right, I guess, whatever, it's fine. | |
| Because we started in high school, but we broke up a couple months later, and then I went to college because I was a senior. | |
| She was a junior in high school. | |
| I went to college. And two years after we broke up, I'm assuming because she didn't like the fact that I moved on and I was in college, she did that in order to just ruin my life. | |
| Now, did she go to college as well? | |
| I have no clue. I literally have Cut off all connections with everybody from high school. | |
| Except for like one person. | |
| Did she follow through on this thread? | |
| No. So she did the thread and it was on Facebook, which is why I don't have Facebook anymore or Instagram or Twitter or anything like that. | |
| I'm done with that garbage. | |
| She did it on Facebook and it got to the point where I was like, I was afraid to go outside. | |
| I was literally afraid to go outside. | |
| Every single time I heard any siren, I'm like, oh god, this is it. | |
| Oh yeah, you can't order anything just because the knock at the door is terrifying, right? | |
| Yeah, yeah, literally that. | |
| It got so bad that I took the train a lot when I went to college. | |
| Whenever I was waiting for the train, I contemplated just jumping in front of it. | |
| I used to go on top of the parking deck in the university I used to go to and just, you know, just thinking maybe I should just do it. | |
| Maybe I should just do it. | |
| And one of my best friends, which he's actually a fan of yours, he may listen to this. | |
| He actually, he told me to, you know, come to his house for the weekend and at one point literally like stopped me from actually doing something I would have regretted. | |
| I am so sorry to hear that. | |
| It's a terrifying experience to go through. | |
| You said it happened twice? | |
| Well, that was the second... | |
| That was the most extreme one. | |
| The other one happened still in high school. | |
| I was a sophomore. She was a freshman. | |
| And this one, it wasn't even like... | |
| To that extent, it was just her friends got involved in our relationship. | |
| One guy was pretty touchy with her and I didn't like it. | |
| I told her, you need to tell him to stop or else I'm going to get pretty mad. | |
| She broke up with me and then her friends told the principal afterwards that I was then harassing her because she broke up with me when I'm like, I really didn't care at that point. | |
| I'm like, okay, fine. | |
| You broke up with me, whatever. I'm done with you. | |
| Wow. Are you a good-looking guy? | |
| Yeah. Now I am. | |
| Now I am. Actually, if I can say this, the second time it happened with almost, you know, with the whole sirens fearing, you know, I'm knocking the door thing, I either had a choice. | |
| It was either continue the way that I was going and it wasn't going to turn well. | |
| Or the second choice, which is what I ended up going with is I just decided to work on myself, especially my physical attributes. | |
| I used to be obese, like very, very obese, like 210 pounds, two bills. | |
| Well, what's your height though? | |
| I mean, that could be muscular too, right? | |
| No, it wasn't muscular. | |
| When your waist size is 41, it's not muscular. | |
| All right, so you're kind of piece of that. | |
| No, I'm like... I'm 5'9". | |
| I started to go to the gym. | |
| I started eating correctly. | |
| I went from size 41 weight to size 31. | |
| Now I have a nice build. | |
| Thank you. All these dysfunctional relationships occurred when you were overweight, is that right? | |
| Yes. I was pretty much chunky the whole entire way through my younger life until now recently. | |
| I actually have a four-pack. | |
| Why did your parents allow you to be overweight? | |
| You know something? I tell them that also. | |
| Now that I've slimmed down, they were like, you know, really glad that you did that because they said that they spoke with each other about how they didn't like the fact that I was overweight. | |
| And now that I've dropped the weight and they told me that they used to have that conversation, I'm like, why didn't you tell me? | |
| For the love of God, why didn't you tell me? | |
| Like, hello? I could have felt this good this whole entire time and you didn't tell me. | |
| Well, as parents, they're responsible for your health when you're a child, right? | |
| So they're responsible for encouraging you to exercise. | |
| They're responsible for the food that's around the house. | |
| They're responsible for just the entire environment. | |
| And that's, I guess, my question, why they wouldn't intervene. | |
| Because, you know, we're not born fat. | |
| I guess we're born kind of chubby, but we're not destined to be fat unless your parents are overweight. | |
| And I think there may be some genetic transmission of susceptibility to, Being overweight. | |
| But, yeah, it's kind of their job. | |
| And I say this to parents out there because, you know, I'm out there playing with my daughter and quite a lot of chunky kids out there. | |
| And, you know, mom's dad's, this is your job. | |
| It's your job to make sure that your kids... | |
| You've got to deliver your kids to adulthood with healthy bodies and healthy minds. | |
| Yeah. I mean, I got definitely the healthy mind part. | |
| But, I mean, I'm an engineer. | |
| So, I mean, I think they did a pretty good job there. | |
| But apparently their... | |
| Justification for not telling me was because they just didn't want to hurt my feelings. | |
| And I'm like, no, what are you doing? | |
| No, man, no, you got to tell me these things. | |
| You can't just not tell me these things. | |
| Obviously, I knew that I was getting obese, but I'm like, I didn't really get any repercussions until this whole entire thing happened with that one person. | |
| All right, let me ask you this. Sorry to interrupt. | |
| Yeah, go on. With the very dangerous woman, the one who threatened to call the cops on you, if you can remember back to when this relationship started, did you ask her out or did she basically initiate it for you? | |
| It was sort of both ways. | |
| And you were attracted to her? | |
| Yeah. Yeah. | |
| Right. And do you remember any red flags or any warning signs? | |
| I mean, did her conversation sound like Alyssa Milano's Twitter feed? | |
| I mean, was there any kind of warning sign out there that you can look back on and say, yeah, she was a little unstable, and I can see it from this, that, or the other? | |
| Yeah, actually, yeah. | |
| But at that time, I really didn't listen to you. | |
| So now I'm looking out for those red flags. | |
| And what were they back then? Like, boom, boom, boom, boom. | |
| Well, I don't think... | |
| Well, let's just say that her previous boyfriend before me was not the best type of guy. | |
| And now looking at it, I'm like, well, why did you choose him in the first place? | |
| Why did you decide to go out with him and stay with him even though he was doing all this stuff? | |
| Why? So... | |
| Yeah. Yeah. | |
| So let me give you a little speech here, which will hopefully help. | |
| And I just kind of noticed, you won't believe this, man. | |
| So we have 300 people who want to call in today. | |
| I just saw this. So listen, let me give you a speech here. | |
| And I'm so sorry about all the stuff that happened to you. | |
| Don't date alone. You know there's this thing like if you're a scuba diver, never scuba dive alone. | |
| Don't date alone. | |
| I don't mean necessarily go out as a foursome or anything like that, but what I mean is if you're interested in a girl, talk about that girl with your friends and let your friends Clock block you, so to speak, if that's what's necessary to keep you safe. | |
| In other words, say, okay, there's this girl, and here's what I like, you know, here's things I'm concerned about, and listen to your friends, because your friends aren't lost in the lustful romantic haze that you are. | |
| They're not being dicknapped, as I talk about. | |
| So listen to your friends, talk about it with your family, talk about it with people, get a social feedback on this woman. | |
| Now, here's the other thing. So, a lot of wisdom and maturity in life is going against your wiring. | |
| Going against your wiring is really, really tough. | |
| It's so important to go against your wiring. | |
| So, with men, we're wired for access. | |
| Like, if there's sexual access, it's kind of tough to say no, right? | |
| It's like... Trying to climb a mudslide, to use an earlier analogy, right? | |
| So if a woman is basically saying, you can have sexual access, right? | |
| I'll crank the legs, I'll make the Y. It's really hard to say no, because that's just how we're wired. | |
| We're wired to like spray and pray to some degree. | |
| But here's the thing. We're also wired to eat fat, salt, and sugar, right? | |
| But a lot of times we have to say no to that so we can stay healthy. | |
| We're wired to conserve energy. | |
| We want to be like cats napping 18 hours a day, but it's not good for us because we need to be out there. | |
| We don't have to run to get food anymore, but we have to run to chase health, right? | |
| So going against our wiring is why there's philosophy, why there's nutrition, why there's sports medicine, like you name it, right? | |
| We could go against our wiring. | |
| So when it comes to dating... | |
| You know, the thing that concerned me... | |
| Well, a lot did. | |
| Not from you, but in terms of what you were telling me. | |
| So what concerned me was when you said, my parents didn't talk to me about being fat because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. | |
| Now, what that means is that your parents are over-solicitous, which means they are very concerned about the feelings of others. | |
| And generally, what it means is that they're concerned about their own feelings, but they're easily manipulated. | |
| And that's just my guess based on what... | |
| You're saying, right? Because when we say, well, I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings, what we're generally saying is, I don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation. | |
| They're actually protecting their own feelings, not yours, because your feelings would have been far better served by having a conversation about being overweight and would have been even better served Obesity is one of these things that the cure is good, but prevention is almost infinitely better. | |
| So my concern is that you kind of grew up with And appeasement and compliance and, you know, that's sort of how your parents modeled that behavior. | |
| So what you need to do is you need to fight that and you need to be, you need to look at women like Brad Pitt looks at movie scripts, right? | |
| Everybody wants Brad Pitt to be involved in their project because if you get Brad Pitt in your project, you're guaranteed publicity, you're guaranteed, you know, to make a wave because, you know, it's tough to get your film involved. | |
| Noticed, right? And so you have to be rabidly discriminating. | |
| And that goes against the take advantage of sexual access wiring that is the foundational lizard brain of the male penis connection, right? | |
| So you have to be rabidly discriminating. | |
| And you say, well, I don't like rejection. | |
| Sure, sure. I mean, I understand that. | |
| But what you have to do is you have to look at Your capacity to reject others. | |
| And that capacity to reject others has to be exercised frequently. | |
| So, I mean, when I was first starting out in business, I would go for a job interview. | |
| And my mindset would be, I've got to get this job, right? | |
| I mean, I need this job, you know, because that's just the way it went. | |
| And of course, I remember one terrible summer just trying to get a job doing anything because there was a bad recession out of the early 90s. | |
| It was just brutal. But then, based upon reading a bunch of stuff, I just changed my mindset. | |
| And I would go into a job interview like this. | |
| Okay, you're interviewing me, and that's perfectly fine to see if I fit, my skills fit, my personality fits, my whatever, right? | |
| But I'm also interviewing you. | |
| In other words, I would ask a lot of questions. | |
| Like, what's the company culture? And how do you deal with conflicts? | |
| And, you know, what's been your biggest challenge as a manager? | |
| And, like, I would interview the manager as well. | |
| Because what that does is it shifts from you being a job beggar to you doing an interview to see if you want to even work there. | |
| It's the same thing with dating. | |
| Man, you've got to be discriminating. | |
| I did this tweet that said discriminating used to be just having high standards, just being able to accurately judge quality, and then low-quality people changed it to just being bigoted rather than improve themselves, which is why they're kind of low-quality people. | |
| But don't think about being rejected. | |
| Think about whether you want to reject the person, and that puts it on an equitable frame. | |
| And any woman who's worth her salt will want you to not be a beggar. | |
| Any woman who is simply relying on your hardwiring for sexual access is not going to be a woman who's going to be stable, who's going to be loving, who's going to be mature, who's going to be an equal. | |
| She wants you To not be drawn to her because of your balls, but because of your brain and your heart and your mind and your courage and your virtue and all that kind of stuff. | |
| Because there's a funny thing about women who provide sexual access as a means of attracting male interest. | |
| Fundamentally, they kind of hate sex. | |
| Because it's humiliating. It's kind of humiliating. | |
| Like, a guy who's got to spend a lot of money to have anyone hang out with him has a really uneasy relationship with his own money. | |
| Like, if the only way you can get people to hang out with you is to fly everyone to Barbados for the weekend, you know that they're there for Barbados and not for you, and you kind of feel humiliated. | |
| And you feel like, okay, well, I don't want to spend money to have friends, but if I don't spend money, I don't have any friends. | |
| It's a really horrible, complicated relationship. | |
| It's the same thing. If a woman has to flash sexual access signals Which is why I'm kind of going hard on Twitter against makeup these days. | |
| If a woman has to flash sexual access signals in order to gain male attention, she does not have a positive relationship with sexuality. | |
| And you might get sex early, but, you know, as the guards say, take what you want and pay for it, right? | |
| I mean, you might get sex early, but what's going to happen is the woman who has a very uncomfortable, if not downright hostile relationship to sex, is going to end up... | |
| Because she used sex to get you, she's going to use sex to punish you and manipulate you and... | |
| It's going to be, well, anything that comes easy, you pay for hard. | |
| So anyway, I hope that helps. | |
| And thanks very much for calling in. | |
| I'm very sorry to hear that. | |
| I know it's rare, but of course, it's not nearly as rare as it should be. | |
| So thank you very much for the call. | |
| And I've been mindful of, you know, people who, we just tried this experiment out a couple days ago to start. | |
| And I've been very mindful of people who are saying, you know, not too quick, not too quick. | |
| Not too fast. | |
| All right. So, this is a rather incomprehensible speech-to-text, but let's see if you are on. | |
| I'm sorry that you had to wait for a little while. | |
| Do you want to talk about... | |
| You're on. | |
| Sorry. If you want to... | |
| Mysterious Lugo? | |
| That's what we've got. Freedom versus power. | |
| Are you around, my friend? Yeah, hey, Steph, and it's Mysterium Lugosi. | |
| Oh, you know what? That's not too bad at all. | |
| How you doing? Oh, I'm doing well. | |
| Yourself? I'm well, thank you. | |
| What's on your mind? Okay, so, hey, Steph, I've been flirting with this concept that dawned on me for the last couple of months, and I wanted to run it by you and see what you think. | |
| So, I've been contemplating conflict a lot, and what I've... | |
| I've been seeming to conclude is that all conflict seems to boil down to those who want freedom versus those who want power. | |
| Because if you have power, I can't have freedom. | |
| And if I have freedom, you can't have power. | |
| And I've just noticed that a lot of things going on in the world, like Antifa stopping people from speaking and what's going on in Hong Kong right now. | |
| Problems that I've had with my family, problems that I've had with friends, I really feel like it boils down to other people wanting power and other people wanting freedom. | |
| What do you think? Am I onto something? | |
| Well, I think that's a great set of polarities to work with. | |
| I mean, the sort of minor nagging part of me, which may or may not be valid, sort of says, well, power, you can, you know... | |
| You have electricity, you have power over nature through science, so it's power over people for sure. | |
| And this is why philosophy is the most essential thing to talk about in the world at the moment, because we as individuals, we as societies, we all need to make decisions about resource allocation and just a wide variety, how we're going to spend our time, what we're going to do. And every decision we make comes at the cost of every other decision, right? | |
| I mean, I'm not at the gym because I'm having a great conversation on this Labor Day weekend with you lovely listeners, and I can't do both, right? | |
| We all have to make decisions. | |
| How are we going to make those decisions? | |
| Well, if we can negotiate, if we can meet in reality, if we have objective rational principles by which we can negotiate the making of these decisions, then we can have a free society. | |
| In the absence of philosophy, we still need to make decisions, and so how are we going to make those decisions? | |
| Well, we're going to make those decisions Through manipulation, through dominance, through control, through bullying, through playing the victim, through like all of these horrible, nasty, low brain, low rent, often low IQ, quote, solutions, is what we turn to in desperation. | |
| It's what we turn to in desperation. | |
| You know, under Chairman Mao, during the great famine in communist China in the 60s and so on, People got so desperate for food. | |
| And remember, it's in a book called Three Swans that is very powerful and terrifying about this. | |
| They got so desperate for food that they would strip the bark off trees and try and eat that. | |
| They would find, you know, that sort of thin, papery Ruth Bader Ginsburg forehead skin that comes off onions. | |
| They would eat that. They would rip open their pillows and try and eat the feathers. | |
| Now, bark plus onion skin plus feathers is not something that's going to show up on a restaurant menu anytime soon unless, I don't know, you are Wolfgang Puck in hell. | |
| But that's what people do when they're desperate. | |
| That's what people do when they're desperate. | |
| There's a picture on Twitter I saw, I think, last year. | |
| About a frog that is trying to have sex with a female frog, but the female frog's head has been ripped off by a bird, so he's banging half a corpse. | |
| Well, that's just his programming, right? | |
| Don't be the frog banging half the corpse. | |
| Hey, look, I have a show title. But in desperation, we will just do anything we can to allocate resources. | |
| And unfortunately, we've set up a society where a lot of people get their resources through control, bullying, manipulation, playing the victim, you name it, because the state distorts all resource allocations, and it also distorts and degrades our capacity to negotiate. | |
| So I agree with you. People who are free We want to stay free, and the only way that we can stay free is if we learn how to negotiate with each other, if we learn how to debate, if we learn how to argue, right? | |
| That's why The Art of the Argument was a book I poured heart and soul into. | |
| You can get it at artoftheargument.com, and why on Twitter I negotiate and listen. | |
| A lot of negotiating is getting people out of the conversation. | |
| If you're having a public conversation about important topics, a lot of the progress of that topic is just getting people out of the conversation. | |
| You know, the concern trolls, the idiots, the people who post stupid memes that you've seen a million times before rather than actually contribute anything intellectual to the conversation. | |
| You The captain and queen obviouses who come in and just say the most stupid things that don't add anything to the conversation. | |
| You know, not all women are the same, you know. | |
| Oh, really? I like you, you genius. | |
| And so, you know, if you want to go play baseball and you go out to the baseball field and there's a whole bunch of garbage on the baseball field, got blown over or something like that, well, the first thing you do is not play baseball. | |
| The first thing you do is Clear the garbage off the field so that you can run around without tripping over glad bags, right? | |
| It's the same thing with conversations. | |
| To have productive conversations, it means getting a lot of reactive, emotional, immature... | |
| You know, and I mean this with love. | |
| You know, like some people... At high altitudes, the brain stops functioning. | |
| And for some people, high altitudes is three feet above sea level. | |
| And you just need to, for their own good, get them off the field of conversation, the same way that if some blind guy is wandering into traffic, you gently restrain him because he's going to get... | |
| Injured and cause a car accident or whatever, right? | |
| So it's the same thing. You just got to kind of ease people off. | |
| And doing that is quite a skillful operation. | |
| And I try and model that when I'm on Twitter. | |
| So I think you've got a great, great point. | |
| But it's very abstract. | |
| And there is, of course, two kinds of people in the world. | |
| There are the people who want to be left alone. | |
| And then there are people who just... Damn well, won't leave them alone. | |
| And I think you've got a great way of formulating it there. | |
| So thank you very much for the call. | |
| And listen, I'm, you know, for those of you who are waiting, you know, boy, that's 350 people are trying to get in, and I'm really, really sorry about that. | |
| If I had 24 hours a day and endless amounts of information... | |
| I would... Listen, okay, so the guy who wants to talk about St. | |
| Thomas Aquinas, let's do a one-on-ones. | |
| Let me email about that because that is quite a big topic. | |
| All right. So, John. | |
| John wants to talk about relationships and moving on after you've had kids. | |
| After a break. Moving on. | |
| Yes, sir. Yes. How are you doing, John? | |
| Oh, how's it going? It's going very well. | |
| How are you doing? It's awesome. | |
| I can't believe to be on the line, but I got a pretty... | |
| Interesting situation going on right now. | |
| So I was with the mother of my kids for about five and a half years. | |
| We had two children together, two boys. | |
| And about seven months ago, maybe eight by now, we basically split up in a very, very bad breakup. | |
| I caught her, I guess, messaging on one of those little dating apps. | |
| Bunch of different people. | |
| Got access to her phone. | |
| I don't know if she actually did any physical cheating, but at that point it didn't matter to me. | |
| Wait, so how did you find this? | |
| Okay, so I kind of noticed there had been kind of a rocky spot in about 2018 in our relationship, and basically she kind of was accusing me of cheating a lot and doing all that stuff, and I was I was like, you know what? You have access to my phone. | |
| You do all this stuff. | |
| You haven't found anything, but you're going to accuse me of this. | |
| I want to see your phone. | |
| And so she refused to do so. | |
| So she accused you of cheating, wouldn't let you look at her phone? | |
| Yes, sir. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like that old blues song, before you accuse me, take a look at yourself. | |
| Wow, that is something else. | |
| So she wouldn't let you look at the phone. | |
| Did you find a way in? Yes, so little did she really know that I had seen her passcode before. | |
| I just never took the chance to do it. | |
| So one night, I did take her phone, unlocked it in there, and bam! | |
| Saw the little messages and all that stuff, and yeah, I was pretty kind of shocked and pretty heartbroken. | |
| And so that kind of, I don't know, it just I kind of debated whether to do it. | |
| She begged me back, all this other stuff. | |
| And I just, I couldn't. | |
| I don't know. And you've been together how long, John? | |
| What's that? You've been together for how long? | |
| We were together for about five and a half years. | |
| And do you have, listen, I'm not trying to put any shade on you at all, right? | |
| But do you have any idea what might have provoked or starting to cast your eyes about you? | |
| Absolutely. So we had a very rough year in 2018. | |
| Basically, we've had a really rough relationship from the start. | |
| And basically, she had been pushing for marriage for a really long time. | |
| But our relationship was too volatile. | |
| And she had done too many things that were untrustworthy for me to want to sign over. | |
| 50% of my wealth, and I am in my later 20s. | |
| I'm considered pretty wealthy. | |
| I'm probably in the top 1% of wealth and income earners. | |
| I've been making six figures since I was like 24. | |
| I have a house that's fully paid off, so I have a lot of stuff to lose. | |
| You know what I mean? Well, good for you, man. | |
| Congratulations. So basically, I kind of know what it was, was that we were kind of having a bit of a rocky relationship, and I was telling her, you know what, like, she was giving me ultimatums saying, like, you know, if you don't ask me to marry you by the end of the year, I'm going to be leaving and all this stuff. | |
| And I said, look, like, you're not going to threaten me to marry you by doing this. | |
| I'm like, this isn't the way you go about it. | |
| Now, you know, John, there's an obvious question rolling around the minds of the people who are listening to this, so I'm just going to speak for them and ask it plain. | |
| You're a successful guy. | |
| You're a smart guy. You listen to this show. | |
| You're making six figures. You're making good bank, as they say. | |
| What are you doing with this lunatic? | |
| Why would you choose her? | |
| I mean, I guess, how pretty is she? | |
| So, I did not make that much money. | |
| Way back. So I got her pregnant when I was 21. | |
| I was, I guess you can say I was one of those party guys living in a college home, had a party roommate or whatever. | |
| She happened to be one of the girls that was coming around and me being the stupid party guy that I was, I ended up knocking her up. | |
| And was that, it wasn't a failure of birth control, you just had unprotected sex? | |
| Pretty much, yeah. Wow. | |
| Yeah. Guys, don't do that. | |
| Do not. I don't mean to get all like us on you, but man. | |
| You think it's two minutes, it's 20 years. | |
| Yeah. So, basically, found out that was happening. | |
| Paternity test came back to mind and she really started coming in more, being a lot nicer, begging me to try to make it work and do everything and I talked to my mother and she said, no, you really need to be in that child's life, whether y'all are together or not. | |
| And so I decided to, you know, take her in, try to make it work and, you know, get everything from that. | |
| And about a year and a half into that relationship and raising my kids, when I got the opportunity to start making, you know, the good money and everything like that, I I honestly thought it was for the best because I stopped all my partying, I stopped all my troubled ways like that, and I just focused on work and trying to raise a family. | |
| And so it lasted fairly well, is that right, for a couple of years, and then you said 2018 things went pretty much downhill? | |
| Well, okay, so the first couple of years were pretty rocky, dealing with a pregnant 18-year-old when I'm I just turned 22 when he was born. | |
| I was 22. She was still 18. | |
| So dealing with that was pretty rough, but there wasn't infidelities and stuff from her part. | |
| She was just kind of crazy and insecure. | |
| We didn't really know exactly how we were going to make it. | |
| It was a struggle for the first two years. | |
| So after those first two years, I had got a really good opportunity I hit that Bitcoin bubble like a champ. | |
| So that also put me some extra stuff there. | |
| Purchased a house. | |
| Started getting things moving along. | |
| And from there, things were actually really good for the next couple of years. | |
| And that's when we decided to have around sometime in that third year. | |
| When my son was three, we planned out having a second child. | |
| Things were stable. She was a lot more emotionally stable. | |
| Things were looking good. | |
| In 2018, we did have a pretty rocky time there. | |
| What changed? | |
| It's going to be interesting. | |
| She started up her own little business. | |
| And basically, I guess it's kind of a more women's issue type of business thing. | |
| And so she was talking to a lot of other women on like a daily basis, hearing their stories. | |
| And from then, about early, yeah, early 2018, I can started to see like, you know, she started treating me a lot different, like not as nice, not as caring, not Yeah, I can tell something was changing. | |
| I'm pretty sure it's because she was able to see that I'm able to make my own money and not even that bad. | |
| Basically, she started, you know, kind of using my support of paying all the bills and doing that so she could jumpstart her own business. | |
| Well, I mean, this is kind of a common story, which is you have the entrepreneurial husband, and then the girlfriend or the wife says, you know, I want to get in on that. | |
| And then you end up, you know, making the website and doing the spreadsheets and getting her business cards or whatever it is that you need. | |
| So she's kind of writing your skills, your energy, your expertise, your money, but she totally feels like an entrepreneur, but it's like now you have a job and a half, and she's kind of LARPing as a business person. | |
| Yeah, that's pretty accurate. | |
| Now, I didn't do any of this stuff for her. | |
| I said, you know, that's a good idea. | |
| But my business stuff, I'll just put in there, I have several different income streams, which is how I've been able to do it good. | |
| And she knows that I listen to the show. | |
| I listen to other type of stuff on YouTube. | |
| And that rubs up on her, you know. | |
| She, you know... | |
| She's a female who voted for Trump. | |
| I got her to do all this stuff. | |
| Basically, I taught her about the markets, free markets, buying and selling, you know, supply and demand, a lot of different stuff like that. | |
| And so that rubbed off on her. | |
| But the thing that she did use is the fact that she lived rent-free, didn't have to buy for groceries or anything like that. | |
| Basically, her overhead was all taken care of by me, so she can focus on her little thing. | |
| Now... The resentment, I can tell, started kicking in kind of early in that year. | |
| Basically, I told her, like, at the time, I was working for a while, like, 60 to 80 hours a week, basically just trying to get it in, building up, and just, you know, trying to make a lot of money. | |
| And so I told her kind of, you know, like, I would appreciate if, you know, I support you and your business and everything, but just don't let it interfere with mine. | |
| Basically, I told her logically, if I'm going to cut down 20 hours in my week, we're probably losing... | |
| Thousands of dollars a month. | |
| Oh, listen, I've talked to a lot of guys, the wives of their girlfriends are running a business on the side, but if you look at how much time it takes away from the primary earner, and you try and figure out the actual profit after EBITDA, after your taxes, after your costs and so on, it's usually not even minimum wage. | |
| Exactly. Exactly. | |
| And you stop bringing that up, and suddenly it's like, you're a dream crusher. | |
| It's like, no, I'm not a dream crusher. | |
| Math is a dream crusher. | |
| Yeah, okay, that is exactly it. | |
| Now, for a little while, she was kind of okay with that, and I told her, like, look, I don't plan on working this hard forever, you know? | |
| Oh, you're a dad. We're going to get to, you know? | |
| We're going to get to a certain point where we get there. | |
| But I just told her, like, for right now, like, I have a great opportunity, making great money. | |
| Let me ride this out so it's, you know, so it's fully done. | |
| And when we get done with that, you can go to your schooling to do all that stuff, and I'll support you that way. | |
| I'll spend more time with the kids and do all that. | |
| And she agreed back then. | |
| But I think as she kept getting a little bit more clients, Listen to their stories, doing all that stuff. | |
| She kind of built a little, like, I guess kind of an ego about herself. | |
| Well, hang on. Let me just start to interrupt, John. | |
| But what kind of stories was she hearing? | |
| Because there's this caustic coven out there of women, and I'm sure there's the same thing for men too, but there's this caustic coven out there of women who, if they have failed in their relationships, they don't like to see other relationships succeed. | |
| Okay. Studies have shown very clearly that if a woman gets divorced it has a ripple effect throughout her entire circle. | |
| And it's usually because she's unhappy and she starts talking about all men and a lot of times unconsciously she'll start driving that little caustic language wedge between a wife and her husband and she'll be mildly critical and she'll play the victim and she'll start getting feminist-y and she'll start spreading all this garbage. | |
| And next thing you know, this dissatisfaction is spreading out like splash damage from the crater of the woman's original failed relationship. | |
| So... Am I anywhere close? | |
| You have very, very inches off the bullseye. | |
| So, some of her best clients were mid-30s single moms that had broken up with their previous relationships. | |
| That they were abusive or not right or they were mean and controlling and that language started coming up more and more throughout that year about how I'm controlling, I'm abusive with money because I'm not doing this or I'm not supportive enough whereas before that kind of talk really didn't happen too much and I'm a smart guy so I know some of these females that are talking to her when she's having these clients and a lot of them are you know Late 20s, | |
| mid-30s, stuff like that. | |
| There's also another client she had that is like a famous Instagram model with like close to a million followers. | |
| And, you know, she was having a baby at the same time. | |
| The baby daddy was a married guy, not going to be around in the picture, still married with his wife. | |
| So, you know, she's getting the full opposite spectrum Of what I'm telling her and all this other stuff. | |
| Listen man, when you were New parents, I bet you baby-proofed the house, right? | |
| You put the little things in the plug sockets and you put the latches on the toilet and you put the fences at the top of the stairs, right? | |
| You child-proofed your home to make sure that your children didn't get injured, right? | |
| Now listen, man, when it comes... | |
| And this is as true for men as it is for women, but I happen to be talking to a man about a woman here. | |
| But man, you've got to draw a fiery moat of dysfunctional people and keep them the hell away from your relationship. | |
| You have to. They will come in and they will lay waste to the treasure of your home. | |
| And it's almost not their fault. | |
| It's unconscious. It's a lack of self-knowledge. | |
| It's just... They're just blind people in a machine gun range, right? | |
| I mean, everybody's ducking and running and people are going to get ripped up. | |
| So you have to... | |
| You know, boy, talk about an expensive business. | |
| It costs you time. | |
| It costs you money. | |
| And it costs you your... | |
| The stability... Of the mind of the mother of your children. | |
| So, you know, I mean, if I'm in your shoes and she's like, oh yeah, I'm hanging out with all these dysfunctional single moms, I'd be like, I'm not supporting that. | |
| Like, no way. Or you've now got another part-time job of countering all this toxic relationship-undermining propaganda that's flowing in from all these dysfunctional women. | |
| Women are uniquely susceptible to social pressures. | |
| Which is why the kids are single moms can't resist peer pressure. | |
| You need dads to help kids resist peer pressure and you need a dad who himself can resist peer pressure. | |
| So when women get involved in a particular kind of coven, most women, not all, but when women get involved in a particular kind of coven, it transmits in ways that you and I can't even comprehend. | |
| And it's, there's almost no defense against it, other than cauterize the wound, you know, just get these toxic squid brains out of the environment. | |
| And I'm just, I know it's a little bit too late for you, but I'm just pointing this out, that you need to police. | |
| And listen, for women, you need to police. | |
| What your husband is getting as well, right? | |
| Like maybe he's overindulging a little bit in the old MGTOW stuff, and maybe he's got the, oh, my wife can't be that great because, no, well, it's not all women are like that. | |
| It's a unicorn. It's not true. | |
| It's like, no, no, no. Listen, I listen to MGTOW stuff, and I think it's interesting, but, you know, none of these guys can convince me that my wife is not great, right? | |
| So it can work the other way, too. | |
| You need to be aware of what your partner is consuming and how it's affecting them. | |
| And if your wife or the mother of your children is drawn to these desperately unhappy, manipulative sob stories, you gotta ask, why? | |
| Why? Why would you want to hang out with these people? | |
| Well, they pay the bills. It's like, okay, does them telling you their desperately sad stories pay the bills? | |
| No. Then don't listen to them. | |
| Tell them, hey, you know, like your personal life is your personal life. | |
| This is a business relationship. | |
| And so I would really appreciate it if you kept it at a professional level. | |
| I'm sorry to hear about your problems, but that's not really what my... | |
| I'm not a therapist. And so my business is providing X, Y, and Z services. | |
| Let's keep it at that. And, you know, you've got to keep your personal life to yourself and so on. | |
| But a lot of people... And again, I think it's a little bit more women. | |
| They've got no spillover. | |
| Like, you must have met these people in your life. | |
| It's insane. Like, you start meeting people. | |
| And I'm not talking about this show, because this is, like, we're designed to talk about these kinds of things. | |
| But just like people on a bus. | |
| Like, you've got a 20-minute bus ride, and you've heard about every single dysfunction they've ever had in their life. | |
| And it's like, whoa. It's an overshare, man. | |
| It's like they have no skin. | |
| Like, their blood just pours out all over everyone. | |
| Like, they're a vertical catch-up statue clinging to a spine. | |
| And I just really wanted to emphasize that, that you're in a relationship not just with your partner, but with your partner and everything that influences them. | |
| And you've got to keep track of it. | |
| You've got to keep that conversation open. | |
| Otherwise, this kind of resentment and things go weird and things go bad and you're not even sure why because you're not privy to the conversations that she's having. | |
| With all of these women. | |
| Like if she's watching, there's the guy Lowell from Wings and Sarah Jessica Parker have got this show called Divorce. | |
| And in it, it's like, oh yeah, there's all these hot, great people for you to date if you get divorced in your 50s. | |
| I mean, it's really not the case. | |
| But anyway, does that sort of make any sense with what you've experienced? | |
| Yeah, definitely. | |
| Well, I would say in a little bit different light, she wasn't listening to sad and depressing stories. | |
| They were basically telling her how they've never been happier and all this other stuff. | |
| You mean after they separated? | |
| All of these women are extremely attractive. | |
| Here's the thing. One of her clients was a Maxim model, so she's dealing with high-status, very attractive females. | |
| I don't know exactly what they said, but they're telling her how they're happy. | |
| But they still have some type of men paying something in their life or they're getting attention from a lot of men and that's how they're making their money. | |
| But in her eyes, she's thinking basically, I could kind of tell back then that she was starting to think that maybe I'm the one holding her back from her type of business thing. | |
| You mean that she can also be a pixel whore out there on the internet and get thirsty betas to throw money at her? | |
| It's like, you're a quasi-married woman. | |
| You're a mom. Like, that's what I said about you. | |
| High heels are supposed to be catch and release. | |
| You use high heels to catch a man, and then you release the high heels because you don't want to be tottering around in a bar until your eggs give up the ghost. | |
| Your hotness is supposed to get the man, and then you're supposed to settle into being a comfortable mom and leave all that crap in the rear of you and just be hot for your husband. | |
| Anyway, sorry, go on. Yeah, so the problem with her is that she was dealing with not your average... | |
| Older single moms. | |
| These are high status, very attractive women who are in the gym daily, doing all this stuff. | |
| Her business, I'll just put it this way, it's like a salon type of business, skincare type of thing. | |
| So in her eyes, she's thinking, well, I can just do all this on my own. | |
| He's holding me back from expanding my business because I have to stay and watch the kid while he's at work. | |
| And I'm telling her, I even told her, I'm supporting you with this business, but You're not going to interfere with my business because I make way more money than you do. | |
| And if you just can, you know, be patient and let it grow organically and where I have more time to support you and do all that stuff, you're going to make way more money in the long run. | |
| But of course, that's not the way she saw it. | |
| She wasn't going to get the ring. | |
| I'm pretty sure she kind of realized that. | |
| And then I can tell from about this time of last year, I could tell she was probably trying to set up my replacement. | |
| This is one thing I've learned afterwards, that when women break up with you, they don't break up with you right away. | |
| They do it when you're still with them, but they kind of emotionally clock out, but they start looking behind your back. | |
| Yeah, it's called monkey branching, right? | |
| So based on the fact that you see a monkey climb through the trees, it never lets go of an existing branch until it knows the next branch it's going to grab. | |
| Now, here's where... | |
| Stuff gets really wild. | |
| So, earlier this year, when I finally do Catcher, finally do anything, a few weeks later, when I'm going for my master's degree in a field that I need to take those courses in order to get the certification for it, so I'm not just going to college or going to college. | |
| I'm pursuing professional stuff. | |
| She knows my schedule. | |
| She and her cousin go to my house, throw a brick through the window, set off the alarm, rip out my camera system, the little DVR thing, and she steals a nice chunk of valuable, which completely tossed my world into... | |
| What? No! | |
| Come on! I swear to God. | |
| I swear... What are you talking about? | |
| The mother of your children and her cousin do a B&E into your combined house and steal stuff? | |
| Yes. Now, I had kicked her out when I found the infidelity and all that stuff like that. | |
| I kicked her out. I was like, no, this is done. | |
| You've got to live on your own. Now, at that point when I kicked her out, reality then hit her that, hey, I actually can't support myself by myself. | |
| So... Pretty sure she planned this out, but yeah. | |
| They call it riding the gravy train. | |
| Oh my god. So she realizes that she can't support herself with her, quote, business. | |
| And so she thinks that the next best sensible thing to do is heave a brick through your window and steal stuff. | |
| She can't. She can't divorce rape me, so she might as well steal what she can. | |
| And it was... It was a good chunk of change. | |
| It was in the five-figure area. | |
| She wasn't going to get her jewelry? | |
| Not that I agree with that as an approach, but she wasn't just taking her stuff? | |
| She still had clothing in my closet that I hadn't moved out yet, didn't touch a single one of them. | |
| Everything was mine. She went for a safe that was not bolted down. | |
| Didn't have really money and stuff in it, but it had a lot of paperwork like birth certificates, passports, contracts. | |
| A lot of stuff I had to replace, but she just went in and they just ransacked my room. | |
| I'm not kidding you either, man. | |
| Did you call the cops? | |
| She was caught on camera from my neighbor's camera, walking out of my place, thinking she was flicked to take my DVR system out. | |
| Here's the great thing though, the police did not file charges because I live in a state that is a common law marriage state, so the police said, well, you guys are common law married, so that's their stuff. | |
| You can't break into your own house, right? | |
| Yep! Wow. | |
| Yeah, pretty frustrating. | |
| I'm starting to get over more of the frustration now. | |
| We hit another Bitcoin boom there. | |
| I smartly invested at the bottom there. | |
| Not at the very bottom, but pretty good. | |
| I'm a pretty seasoned opportunistic guy when it comes to stuff. | |
| I pay a lot of attention to what's going on. | |
| Whatever, the money's gone, that's that. | |
| But the emotional frustration has carried for a really long time, and the problem is that I have to see her all the time because I have two kids with her, and she has found my replacement. | |
| It's some new guy, total what you would expect of a desperate dude who Fell in love with a pretty face. | |
| I know you will eventually ask this question of how pretty she is. | |
| Oh, I already know, man. I already know. | |
| When she works out, I would say she's got to be a 9. | |
| Very, very good, very pretty face. | |
| You know, big brown eyes, you know, very nice dimples and everything. | |
| She has natural, like even when she's really skinny, she's got very natural perky double D breasts. | |
| Those are the well-nippled headlights that get many a male deer trapped in oncoming traffic. | |
| Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, so, yeah, very, very pretty girl, very, very charming, very attractive. | |
| If you look at her Instagram page, man, you see a whole different picture. | |
| And so, yeah, she basically finds this new guy. | |
| He stays with her. Now, get this. | |
| This is where it gets even worse, man. | |
| Three months after she broke into my house, she got knocked up with that man's kid. | |
| She is pregnant right now. | |
| Wow. How are your kids handling all this, man? | |
| That's rough. Well, I have five... | |
| Well, my five-year-old doesn't show... | |
| I think he's handling it pretty well, but deep down there has to be some issues. | |
| He is in therapy. | |
| My two-year-old is too young to know what's going on. | |
| This is going to have lasting effects, especially when they get older and they really see everything that happens. | |
| I have all the screenshots, photos, all this stuff of everything. | |
| I don't know whether I should show them that later on or anything. | |
| It's like I'm really encouraging people to get married and have babies and then I have call-in shows and it's like all my good work for nothing! | |
| It's all undone! | |
| Oh well, oh man. | |
| Oh man. Listen, okay, so let me ask you this question, which I'm sorry for all of this, of course, right? | |
| And it's a real mess, and you're in there for the duration, right? | |
| It's 15 years to go, or more with your youngest. | |
| But, okay, what were the signs that you saw, John, looking back ahead of time, other than the aforementioned double Ds? | |
| Like, were you in a car crash earlier today? | |
| Because apparently your airbags are still deployed. | |
| But were you, like, what were the signs that you were facing this kind of instability? | |
| And I know it was back in the day, she was very young, but what would you look back and say, yeah, I could have seen that coming? | |
| Oh, definitely. | |
| Dysfunctional family, no father. | |
| Her father died when she was really young. | |
| Abusive family, abusive mother. | |
| Yeah, those are... | |
| There were so many signs that if I knew what I knew now, obviously I wouldn't do it. | |
| Man, when I say a 9, I got a very high scale. | |
| She was working out back then when she was 18. | |
| She's a good-looking girl. | |
| I know you said this so many times. | |
| The prettier they are, the more... | |
| The more messed up they can afford to be. | |
| And still get on through life, you know? | |
| Right. Well, listen, man, I'm sorry to hear that. | |
| And this is the kind of cautionary tale, you know? | |
| We've got to fight the lizard brain, you know? | |
| We are in a battle with the dinosaur of the dick. | |
| And we've got to just grit our teeth and, you know, punch yourself in the nets if we have to, to just stay away from the cleavage quicksand that can swallow us whole. | |
| And it's... | |
| It's tough, you know? And look, very pretty women can be wonderful people. | |
| But if we are... | |
| It's a warning sign if a woman is... | |
| Particularly if she paints up and lipsticks up and so on. | |
| It's a warning sign. And that doesn't mean that it can't be great. | |
| I think my wife's wonderfully attractive. | |
| But it just... | |
| It's a hell of a warning sign, and it's a hell of a price to pay, and I'm real sorry about all of that. | |
| All right, listen, I'm going to get on to maybe one or two more callers, and again, there's like 400 people who are trying to call in. | |
| I guess that means the supply and demand is there, and I appreciate the call. | |
| Thank you so much, and let's move on to Nathan, who wants to talk about Hi, Steph. I was a former caller a few years ago. | |
| I was dating the racist SJW, wanted to be a single mom, woman, who was very pretty, which I think is pretty appropriate given the last caller's subject. | |
| And what happened? Well, I found a sane woman and we've been pretty happy for the past almost a year now. | |
| How long after the call did you break up with the social justice warrior? | |
| I believe we had broken up, I want to say prior to the call. | |
| I can't remember. If not, it was very shortly after the call. | |
| I can see that domino happening. | |
| And then how long did it take for you to find a good woman? | |
| Quite some time, actually. | |
| It took maybe a year and a half, two years or so. | |
| And were you single during that time? | |
| Yes. I was single and I was constantly... | |
| I got a lot more prudish at that time. | |
| I remember... I told you in our last call that I was promiscuous when I was younger. | |
| So after that experience and after talking with you, I kind of honed in and started looking for high-quality women. | |
| Yeah, and I just sort of want to point that out. | |
| Sorry, that time alone is very good, very helpful. | |
| It means that you don't need another person in order to be happy. | |
| You get comfortable with your own company. | |
| And the way I sort of think of it in my mind is People write on you in relationships. | |
| So think of a beach with a stick. | |
| You're a kid and you write on the sand, on the beach. | |
| And let's say it's low tide, you write high up. | |
| Well, that's what relationships do. | |
| And it takes time for the tide to come in and the waves to wash away what someone has written on you so that you can be kind of a blank slate for the next relationship. | |
| So it is important if you want to have a lasting relationship and you've had dysfunctional relationships or even just one bad one, Gotta give time for the waves to wash away the horrible words that that relationship has written on the sand of your soul, so to speak. So I think that's a very, very good idea. | |
| But anyway, let's move on to our Lipstick Wars topic. | |
| And for those who don't know, I'm sure you do. | |
| I'm sure you all follow me on Twitter. | |
| But I posted some time ago about how lipstick... | |
| Is an attempt to mimic or to exaggerate the natural flush that a woman's lips take on when she's sexually aroused. | |
| And it's the same thing with makeup on the cheeks, because when a woman is sexually aroused, her lips get redder and her cheeks get flushed. | |
| And so when a woman is using excessive makeup, then what happens is she is mimicking the signs of sexual arousal. | |
| And that's cheating when it comes to dealing with men, right? | |
| Because it's an attempt to bypass that which makes men human and go, again, straight back to the T-Rex lizard brain. | |
| And I was just pointing this out, and I pointed this out with regards to makeup, with regards to lipstick. | |
| I just talked about it with regards to high heels, right? | |
| So high heels... It's a multifunction purpose. | |
| Of course, they cause the woman to arch her back, which pushes out her boobs and pushes out her butt, and it's that kind of basic mating display that is going on with high heels. | |
| It's kind of a low-rent sexual display. | |
| It signals sexual access, sexual arousal, and so on. | |
| You combine that with makeup. And, you know, women want equality and they want political power. | |
| They already have massive amounts of economic power. | |
| They outvote men. They outspend men. | |
| Like, over 80% of domestic spending is women, is in control of women. | |
| And if they have political power, economic power, and they get to attempt to bypass men's brains with sexual power... | |
| That's too much power. And power corrupts, as we all know. | |
| And one of the things that's gone wrong with women is just way too much power these days. | |
| And it's all going to come crashing down when we run out of money for the welfare state and massive income redistribution and government workers and so on. | |
| But that's sort of what's going on. | |
| And women are getting mad about it. | |
| And I understand why. Like if you're a magician making your money and someone exposes your tricks, well, that's not great. | |
| So I just want to sort of give people a brief background on that. | |
| But Nathan, go ahead with your thoughts. | |
| Yeah, so on that video that you posted, specifically you brought up Elizabeth Holmes, who was the, I think the CEO or the founder of the Theranos company, which was a blood testing She was going to make a machine that people could have in their homes to test their own blood. | |
| Yeah, it was her and her Pakistani boyfriend named Sunny. | |
| And everybody loved the idea, of course, of a visible minority plus a woman being the next Steve Jobs. | |
| That just appealed to everyone's politically correct fantasies. | |
| Hitting all the SJW points. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so with regards to that, it seemed... | |
| What I got from the video was... | |
| I felt as though you were being more sympathetic towards the investors, towards the men, and I felt as though you were not being harsh enough on them. | |
| And by that I mean you were Saying that, you know, she was wearing makeup and she's very pretty and that it's unjust. | |
| And she has a lot of charisma. | |
| And just for those who don't know, so people like Henry Kissinger and George Shultz and a bunch of other prominent people invested. | |
| I think some of them ended up on the board. | |
| And George Shultz even threw his own grandson under the bus because his own grandson came to him and said, you know, I don't think this is so up and up. | |
| And he's like, well... | |
| They can't convince me that you're stupid, but they can convince me that you're wrong, and you're wrong, said George Shultz the Elder in his 90s and so on. | |
| But yeah, sorry, I just want to keep people up to speed. | |
| And your criticism, which I'm so perfectly happy to listen to, and you may well be right, is that I... Oh, the poor men just ensnared by the big blue eyes, the pretty face, and lipstick, right? | |
| Yes, yes, yeah. I think that it's a problem, women accentuating their looks, their physical features. | |
| Like you said, it's a cheap term. | |
| No, no, no, no, no, sorry. | |
| Yeah, you're already hedging. | |
| I don't mind that women accentuate their physical features. | |
| I mind that women mimic sexual arousal in their presentation. | |
| Look, if women want to enhance their physical appearance, if they want to put conditioner in their hair, if they want to go to the gym and they want to exercise and all that, that's fine. | |
| You know, I've got no problem with that. | |
| I mean, the card piece is way old. | |
| There's no male... | |
| Accoutrement that simulates an erection. | |
| Like men don't strap giant zucchinis to their pants and then hover around at women's eye level in a business meeting because that would be wildly inappropriate to simulate an erection during a business meeting. | |
| But women can simulate sexual arousal slash orgasm in business meetings and everyone thinks that's perfectly fine. | |
| And that's not. That's not fine. | |
| That is manipulative and it is absolutely unprofessional. | |
| So as far as enhancing women's appearance go, man, go for it. | |
| I think that's wonderful. And there's other things that women can do. | |
| Like if a woman is turning gray, kind of young, and she wants to dye her hair to match what she used to have, I think that's fine. | |
| I mean, I have no problem with that. | |
| And, you know, a little bit of makeup and maybe some slime. | |
| I don't want to be... | |
| It's not puritanical as far as any of that goes. | |
| It's just... It is designed to mimic sexual arousal. | |
| And to me that's disrespectful to men. | |
| It's disrespectful to women. | |
| It is manipulative in the extreme. | |
| And men need to be aware of it. | |
| And men just aren't aware of it. | |
| They're not aware of how they're being treated. | |
| And this, of course, is why women get so mad when I point it out, because I'm taking power away from them. | |
| But it's an unjust and an unfair power. | |
| You know, women, human females are one of the few mammals that don't have an in-heat time of the month or time of the year, right? | |
| So, you know, dogs and cats and blah, blah, blah, they have periods where they're, quote, in-heat, right? | |
| So women don't have that. | |
| So the way that women have evolved is that in order to have... | |
| Sexual access they need to indicate to men that they're sexually interested and that's why there's this a wide variety of behaviors from sort of hair tossing to to significant eye contact to touching the man on the knee and all of that not not of course that that usually happens in business meetings but the other physiological signs of female arousal are the signals by which men know that a woman is sexually interested and it's a very important part and complicated part of of relationships and simply hijacking that To swamp men's opinions and perspectives, | |
| I think, is highly unjust. | |
| And, you know, if a woman wants to... | |
| To me, it's like a lingerie, right? | |
| It's like a lingerie. So if a woman wants to really, really enhance her own sexual appearance, that's fine. | |
| You know, then put on lingerie and doll yourself up. | |
| And I think that's great. And that could be great fun in the bedroom and all that. | |
| But you don't wear a lingerie to a damn business meeting. | |
| You don't wear a lingerie going down the street. | |
| Well, I guess there's yoga pants because being actually naked is illegal usually. | |
| So I don't mind if women want to enhance their appearance. | |
| I don't mind if women want to tart themselves up. | |
| Just recognize that it's the equivalent of wearing... | |
| Lingerie, or it's the equivalent of a man having a giant boner pressing against loose pants, or pitching a tent, as we used to call it back in the day. | |
| And so I just really want to sort of clarify that, but let's get back to your criticism, which I still want to hear more about, of me sort of forgiving these men who are older and wiser. | |
| Sure, yeah. So when you're talking about how the women kind of hijack men's, I guess... | |
| Their want to get sexual approval from women. | |
| I wouldn't view it so much as a hijacking as I think the issue is more men giving up that power. | |
| So the power that women gain from that is only gained by men giving it to them. | |
| Does that make sense? Well, no, listen, I agree with you, but there's a difference between, and you know this, and I'm sorry to be Captain Obvious, but there's a difference between that which is unconscious and that which is conscious, right? | |
| So let's say that you take, I don't know, like those, I think they're plasma balls with sort of clear fortune glass bubbles and you touch them and the little electricity or plasma balls or whatever, they follow your fingertips and all that, right? Now, if you take that to a scientist, he's going to say, cool, you know, I know how that works. | |
| It's not magic, right? | |
| But if you take that to, I don't know, some primitive tribe, some bunch of pygmies in the middle of nowhere that have never seen it before, and it's got batteries or whatever, they don't need a power, what are they going to think? | |
| They're going to think it's magic, right? | |
| Because they simply don't have the knowledge to comprehend the process that is occurring, and so they ascribe it to To magic. | |
| And the whole process, of course, of maturity is bringing things from the unconscious to the conscious mind, or at least it's a significant portion of that. | |
| And so if men look at a woman who's got bright red lipstick and flushed cheeks and she's in heels, they push out her boobs, they push out her butt. | |
| If they look at that woman and they have this knowledge and they say, Okay, so she's putting on a sexual display, and the woman may not be aware of why she's doing it, but, you know, I think that women are a lot smarter than most men give them credit for. | |
| I think that saying that women don't have any clue about what sexual attraction does to men I think is pretty naive. | |
| But so the man can look at the woman and he can say, oh, so this is a woman consciously or unconsciously mimicking signs of sexual access and sexual arousal in order to bypass my brain and get access to my resources, right? | |
| And if the man knows that, then he can look at that, and the power of it is enormously lessened, but if he doesn't know that... | |
| Then it's asking the pygmy to look at the plasma ball and say, science. | |
| And I think that's asking a lot of the pygmies. | |
| And so, you know, I think we just need more awareness of all of this stuff and why it happens. | |
| And, you know, women are all like, well, it's fun and it's just cool and it's just this. | |
| And it's just like, no, no, no, that's all nonsense. | |
| Like, no woman sits there, if she's staying home watching Netflix all day, no woman dolls herself up, puts on pumps and a tight skirt. | |
| And, you know, it just doesn't happen. | |
| It doesn't work. Oh, we're the biggest sexual organist between the ears. | |
| It's like, no, no, no, come on. | |
| I've cracked a couple of women's magazines in my time. | |
| There are not a lot of ads for all the great books of human literature in there. | |
| It's just a lot of ads for stuff that makes you look like you're about to have an orgasm in a business meeting. | |
| So I think that the men are responsible once they know, but I think the absence or lack of that knowledge means that they're much more open to suggestion, if that makes sense. | |
| Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. | |
| So as far as the... | |
| Out of curiosity, not to drag on the call too much longer, but how many men do you think, if you had to guess, are aware of that and still perpetuate it? | |
| Okay, so aware of the erotic manipulation that is a lot of women's... | |
| And by the way, so women are all saying, yeah, but a man wears a snappy suit. | |
| And it's like, well, sure. Men have their own way of signaling sexual market value. | |
| It's just that those ways don't mimic sexual arousal. | |
| So, you know, if a man gets sexually aroused, he doesn't grow a sports car. | |
| He doesn't sprout a tie. | |
| He doesn't sprout a suit. | |
| He sprouts an erection. | |
| And there may be other physiological signs or whatever, like breathing. | |
| But the woman's is very specific. | |
| The woman's is very specific. | |
| Youth, fertility, and sexual arousal. | |
| That's what the women... | |
| That's the three suns that all the women's accoutrement planets orbit. | |
| The man's is more around, I have resources, I have wealth, I have money, and all that kind of stuff. | |
| And, you know, I get all of that. | |
| But it's the mimicking of sexual arousal that is different. | |
| And the other thing, too, is that a man's sexual market value tends to be productive in the market. | |
| Like, gotta make a car, gotta make a suit, gotta build things, gotta... | |
| Whereas a woman can just say, I'm... | |
| I'm sexually aroused and boom! | |
| She hasn't made anything. She hasn't created anything, but now she has value. | |
| And again, I have no problem with female sexuality. | |
| I think it's wonderful and I have no problem with all of that kind of stuff. | |
| I just want men to be aware of it and I want women to outgrow Being painted sex clowns and actually let men appreciate the qualities that they can bring to bear. | |
| You know, as I said in the video, it's a lot easier to put on lipstick to attract a man than it is to become a better, more trustworthy, and more virtuous and valuable human being. | |
| And I just, I hate shortcuts. | |
| I mean, I just, I hate shortcuts because they're so destructive as a whole. | |
| So as far as how many men know, well, you can see from the controversy of what I posted and how angry women are at it that most men don't have any clue about this stuff. | |
| And now as far as how many men perpetuate it, Well, if you can see the hostility that I got from literally thousands of women, like completely enraged, completely unhinged, right? | |
| Well, I assume that the reason why men don't talk about it is, you know, what do these women do? | |
| Well, they body shame you. Oh, you're a small penis, you're bald, you're ugly, you're spotted, you're blah, blah, blah, you're old, or whatever it is, right? | |
| So immediately go to the body shaming all of these fine feminists. | |
| And then, of course, what do a bunch of the other women do? | |
| Or there's an overlap, of course. | |
| Well, they threaten to withhold sex, which, you know, I'm a happily married guy. | |
| This has no power. | |
| You know, I might as well be gay when it comes to other women, right? | |
| Sure, sure. So I think that a lot of men don't talk about this stuff because they're afraid of women being angry at them. | |
| And, I mean, I think that the Twitter response has shown that. | |
| But, you know, it's good. | |
| You know, it's good to get outraged and it's good to realize you'll survive it because then you feel less fragile, right? | |
| Yeah, that makes sense. | |
| As far as the women threatening to withhold sex, that really only affects bachelors. | |
| Like you said, you're happily married and that has No power over you. | |
| Well, it only affects bachelors who want the woman in question, right? | |
| I mean, I didn't mean to be mean, and I don't want to go out there shaming people. | |
| But, you know, when an obese, unpleasant-looking woman threatens to withhold sex, it's like, I don't know what to say. | |
| I don't know what to say because it's just not in reality. | |
| Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, yeah. | |
| No, that's pretty funny. | |
| But yeah, those comments are a goldmine. | |
| I got to say, scrolling through them is, if you need a laugh, just go take a look through that Twitter thing. | |
| Yeah, well, I think that's pretty much all my thoughts that I had. | |
| Well, thanks, man. I appreciate that. | |
| And I'm going to keep these sponsored around 90 minutes. | |
| I'm sorry. Listen, I got north of 400 people who wanted to chat. | |
| And again, I'm really, really sorry. | |
| If you like these shows, and, you know, it's going to take me a little while to get used to this kind of format. | |
| I mean, the only time I've ever done call-in shows was when I used to host Peter Schiff's radio show back in the day. | |
| And that was all stuff about economics for the most part. | |
| So... I'm kind of getting used to this format. | |
| It's kind of an old-school radio format, but I think more in-depth conversations like this. | |
| I'm still going to do the one-on-ones when it comes to the call-in shows for the in-depth stuff, but if you find this format interesting or valuable, then certainly the demand to talk is there. | |
| We haven't had... Like, people haven't had this kind of access to me before because before, you know, I had a producer and people would email and he'd vet them and all of that. | |
| Whereas, you know, just being able to call in seems to be what people want to do. | |
| And I certainly enjoy the conversation. | |
| So, you know, be patient with me and with us as a whole as we kind of get used to this format and this way of doing things. | |
| I think it's worth doing and I certainly do enjoy it. | |
| And it's nice to just be able to jump in and do it as I can on a whim like I did today. | |
| But please remember, of course, to help out the show at freedomainradio.com forward slash donate. | |
| That's freedomainradio.com forward slash donate. | |
| We've got a bunch of expenses coming up. | |
| Producing the documentary on California is expensive. | |
| FDRURL.com forward slash CA to check those out. | |
| And I've got a trip coming up and the new website is almost ready to go. | |
| And thanks everyone for the feedback on that. | |
| And it's going to be really, really great. | |
| A lot better place to go to get news and information and a place for me to publish blog articles, which I haven't had in forever. | |
| So yeah, freedominradio.com forward slash donate. | |
| Thanks everyone so much for your time, for your attention, for your love of philosophy. | |
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