March 28, 2019 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
59:21
4328 HILARIOUS! STEFAN MOLYNEUX'S DAUGHTER TRIES TO TEACH HIM MINECRAFT!
Isabella TRIES to teach her father - philosopher Stefan Molyneux - how to play Minecraft.You can judge whether she succeeds or not! :o▶️ Donate Now: http://www.freedomainradio.com/donate▶️ Sign Up For Our Newsletter: http://www.fdrurl.com/newsletterYour support is essential to Freedomain Radio, which is 100% funded by viewers like you. Please support the show by making a one time donation or signing up for a monthly recurring donation at: http://www.freedomainradio.com/donate▶️ 1. Donate: http://www.freedomainradio.com/donate▶️ 2. Newsletter Sign-Up: http://www.fdrurl.com/newsletter▶️ 3. On YouTube: Subscribe, Click Notification Bell▶️ 4. Subscribe to the Freedomain Podcast: http://www.fdrpodcasts.com▶️ 5. Follow Freedomain on Alternative Platforms🔴 Bitchute: http://bitchute.com/stefanmolyneux🔴 Minds: http://minds.com/stefanmolyneux🔴 Steemit: http://steemit.com/@stefan.molyneux🔴 Gab: http://gab.ai/stefanmolyneux🔴 Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stefanmolyneux🔴 Facebook: http://facebook.com/stefan.molyneux🔴 Instagram: http://instagram.com/stefanmolyneux
Okay, now I... So, we're starting this Minecraft thing, right?
Now, listen, listen, hang on.
You do the intro, then I'll explain.
Why does it say position on my screen?
What?
Oh, this is just coordinates so that we know how to find each other.
Dad, you see me?
Why is it so dark?
My eyes are failing!
Fine, you want to tie time?
Fine.
Oh!
And the sun popped out like a firework.
Follow me.
Okay.
Wait, where are you going?
Just see me.
Okay, so in this show... Oh, you set the time to 10.
It's bedtime.
Oh, very short.
Very sad.
I'm glittering.
Ooh, I just walked through you.
That's kind of creepy.
Where's your spine?
I don't have one.
Guys, I've just started off with a few chests.
I have a little mod to make it.
Alright.
The elytra cool.
So can I take the stone sword and the butterfly wings?
They're not lights, they're not butterfly lights.
Oh, that's the fly things, right?
Yeah.
Alright, okay.
They actually totally match my sky.
Okay, now I need to complain about Minecraft for just a moment.
Yeah.
Just because, okay, so I had a theory years ago that's based on my mom, right?
So my mom, when she grew up, there were these record players called gramophones.
Are you trying to hit me?
No, I'm not.
I'm tapping the ground.
It's okay.
We can't.
We're friends.
Alright, so when we got her a CD player, she still referred to it as a gramophone, right?
So that, whoa.
I can see in your brain. - So I always had this concern that one day, hello, big, that one day technology was gonna come along to the point where I was just wasn't gonna follow it.
Now, this is the most popular video game.
I like video games, right?
This is the most popular video game in the history of computers, and I'm having trouble with it.
I'll tell you one of the reasons why.
Except Fortnite.
No, no, this is more popular than Fortnite.
Still, I'm just telling you.
Probably in two years, Minecraft servers will be ruined.
I'm eating raw pork chop.
My very first video game programming was I tried to make a game called Missile Command using only things you can get on your keyboard called ASCII text.
Now, the whole point of computer games over the last, I don't know, 30 years has been to get graphics better and better, right?
To make it more realistic.
And this is like self-consciously terrible graphics.
Look how they ruined the trees, though, with the new update.
I officially hate it!
What do you hate?
Okay, I don't see trees like that in the real world.
That's my problem.
No, but the thing is, they made the tree leaves look so weird.
I don't know.
Even the sword, I just killed the pig.
Now, are there mods that make it look more like something real?
Yeah, there are.
Because this is like bad Lego, right?
This is like they've made it.
No, it's beautiful.
They've made it.
It's beautiful.
How is it that you look at this and think that it's good when it's so blocky?
I can't take it.
No, but it's good graphics.
I mean, it might be blocky, but that's the whole point of the game.
Let's just say, okay, ignore the mushroom trees.
But let's just look at the wood.
It looks kind of realistic a bit.
The wood?
Okay, you're gonna make it seem like you've never been outside and looked at a tree.
Yes.
You think that looks like a tree?
It's square!
I don't care!
No, but everything, the details look realistic.
It's just not the squareness.
The details look realistic.
Okay.
So for you, trees are made out of Lego.
I'm officially turning Frumbly Fire on.
No, no!
It's not an argument!
Okay.
Okay, so we're in this landscape, and there are... What are these?
Sunflowers?
Yeah.
See, they point in the direction of the sun.
It's so pixely!
I can't even tell you.
I don't even want to tell anyone.
I've spent some money over the years on graphics cards.
Now, fortunately, I use them to produce videos, so they're kind of dual use, but I spent a lot of money over the years on graphic cards to make things look more realistic.
One of the byproducts is it makes things look more realistic, right?
And...
And so here you can walk through these giant blocky things and they just don't look anything close to real.
It's not just kids, right?
Because kids like things that are kind of blocky and stuff, right?
But this actually is loved by adults and everyone and it's such a throwback to No, but it's pretty.
To earlier games.
I can make some really beautiful builds.
I mean, I kind of suck at survival.
I'm a complete noob, but.
Okay, so let's explain to me the game modes again, right?
Because I'm still trying to follow this.
What do you mean game modes?
So there's creative.
I really do not get adventure, really, but.
Okay, so creative is where you're just building and there's no monsters, right?
Yeah, there are monsters and stuff like that, but you basically, you can do builds, command blocks and stuff like that.
There's survival, which is, you know, Where the monsters try and kill you.
Yeah, except there's also easy, peaceful, normal, and hard.
I think hard is like, okay, well, you get hard.
It's just a lot harder than normal.
I'm just looking through these blocks.
I mean, this is like, okay, I can count this.
Hang on.
There are four blocks, and then six blocks, and then eight blocks, and that's it.
Four blocks, six blocks, eight blocks, eight blocks, eight blocks, six blocks.
No, but the new update ruined it.
Everything looks so ugly after the new update.
I mean, okay, so look at this!
I mean, we've had chickens.
This does not look like a chicken.
Can I kill it?
It looks like... I killed it.
What?
I killed the chicken.
Now, see, that does not seem healthy.
That does seem healthy.
Actually, it kind of is healthy.
I'm eating raw chicken!
Dad, look at me, look at me.
Oh, wait.
I ate it.
You ate the raw chicken?
Look!
Wait, where are the feathers?
Here.
Oh, you've got feathers too?
Hey, don't tickle me with the feathers.
I'm actually tickling you.
It tickles his belly.
There's only one soft part of my belly.
Can I flick your ear?
In the game?
No, in real life.
If not, that would be excellent.
Fine!
So hang on.
So what are these things?
So the things along the bottom, these are things that you've... So I've got a sword here, right?
And then there's health, I get that.
And then the chicken's bones to the right, the bottom right, this is like your food, right?
Yeah, that's food.
And then the green bar, what's that?
The green bar is... Oh, oops.
Hang on.
I don't know.
And the green bar is what?
It's just experience, so like, it will say level 3 when you get to level 3, kind of.
It doesn't really determine much.
No, but what, so levels, okay, I understand that from Dungeons & Dragons, so what do you get from additional levels?
So levels give you experience, and you use experience to enchant weapons and armor.
Okay, so adventure... I hope I'm good at this.
In adventure, you...
Sorry, in Creative, you can just do anything you want, and all of the stuff, like the potions and everything's available to you, right?
Yeah, anything.
And you can also chant for, like, nothing, if you know what I mean.
Alright.
And then in the game, Survival is the actual game where you have to actually get things, right?
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
So what mode are we in right now?
We're in Survival, and then, like, the difficulty is Peaceful.
I'm killing a pig.
Why?
No, because I always play this way, so me and my friends.
It's like with Sydney and stuff.
Sorry, I mentioned names.
We're gonna cut this out.
That's fine, that's fine.
With your friends, yeah.
Yeah, with my friends.
And, um... What's it called?
Yeah, we always do first... Ah!
First, it's right in my... Ooh, pretty.
I'm flying through stars!
Dad, ready?
Yeah.
Thunderstorm!
Okay, I set it to thunderstorm.
Oh, now this gives us sound, which we don't have, right?
In the game?
Uh, yeah.
Do you want to put a little sound on?
Oh, I don't like sound.
Alright.
I never use it.
Whoa!
Oh, lightning!
I got hit by lightning!
I got hit by lightning!
Someone help me!
Does that do any damage?
Yes, it does!
Look at my health!
Okay, it's peaceful, so my health just got better.
Ah.
You're flying!
No, I'm just jumping.
Wait, do you turn into a caterpillar after this?
Alright.
Okay, now.
Oh, that is pretty cool, though.
See, the rain looks more realistic than the flamers.
Look at me, Dad.
What?
Because I'm freaking out.
Oh, that's just you moving your head around, right?
Okay, okay, got it.
Alright, so can we change to another mode now so that danger can excite us?
No, Dad.
So I'm just going to get rid of this because it nearly killed me.
Get rid of what?
Uh, the thunderstorm.
I'm just going to change it to rain.
Right.
Well, listen, it could have been a lot worse.
It could have hit you.
That's right.
Yep, know it.
Terrible.
I don't know you at all.
Dad, look.
If you don't... Okay, what?
Follow me.
Alright, and a double tap to run, right?
Yeah, double tap to run.
So, follow... Sorry, I went the wrong way.
Oops.
I told you, I'm a noob at Minecraft.
You are not a noob at Minecraft.
I am a noob.
You've played for a while, right?
No, I am a noob.
I really am.
Alright.
So, I mean, like, I'm not the noob.
Wait, what does that make me, then?
Don't answer that.
So, Dad, we're gonna break trees.
Don't use your sword to break a tree.
Uh, but I don't have anything else.
Yes, you do.
Use your hand.
Ow.
Ow!
You think this is realistic?
Alright.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Knuckle broke, knuckle broke.
So you get tree bits and you also get bits of your knuckles, right?
Yeah, basically.
Ooh, look how realistic.
Now, here's the thing I don't quite understand, right?
Okay, look at my screen.
Look at this gap.
What do you mean?
Look!
There's a gap!
So I don't care!
Do you not think that that's unrealistic?
Let's never try this in the actual woods, where we take out the middle part of a tree and think everything's going to be fine.
Go for it.
Break the rest of it.
Unlike that person.
So not only does the tree not fall down, but even the leaves stay up.
Yeah.
No, they decay.
They decay.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
But they don't fall.
They just decay.
It was the weirdest thing.
I got an apple in a birch forest.
Like, what?
That is so weird that I'm getting rain falling through a hole in a tree where the leaves are staying up.
Yeah.
This is like Strange Drug Trip 101.
Alright, so I get more wood?
And what do we do with the wood?
We build stuff, right?
Wait, it's not letting me click crafting table.
Uh, I'm not sure what too much of those syllables mean.
Oh, I got it.
I got it now.
Okay.
Alright.
I'm just gonna make an axe.
Dad, would you like a wooden axe?
I think that would... Yeah, my fingers are bleeding.
It will break things faster, so... So, Dad, where are you?
Uh, I am... Look, look, look.
Wait, where is it?
Did you see?
I just threw something at you behind you.
You threw something at me.
Okay, so how do I... Oh, I picked it up.
Okay, so now if I push the number 4, I get a wooden axe.
Now, this is not an axe made out of wood, right?
Because that would be really tragic.
It is.
Is it?
Yeah.
Oh, that's better, though.
Less broken fingernails, less screaming, less crying.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
I mean, gosh.
All right.
Wow.
Okay, I've got 18 pieces of wood now.
I'm just breaking a massive tree, sorry.
Do you need help?
No, it's pretty good.
I'm pretty good, I mean.
Oh yeah, trying to keep our eyes off.
Just testing.
Oh gosh.
Daddy, you stole my wood pieces!
That seems about right.
You did.
I can't reach it!
Good for you.
Okay, let's go somewhere else.
Wait, Dad, I need to... Now it's dark and wet.
You know, it's dark and wet outside.
Can we change it in here to be, like, Bali or someplace really, really nice, like Costa Rica or something?
Alright, hang on.
Oh, okay, I gotta go over here and get some more trees.
Oh, what's this red thing?
What?
This.
Is that a mushroom?
Is that a mushroom?
It's a mushroom tree.
Mushroom?
Alright.
It's a mushroom tree.
Now, does that do us any good?
No, don't break it.
Alright.
Sheep!
Sheep!
We need that for beds.
Oh, my God, I just used my wheelchair.
We sleep on sheep?
Yeah.
Sounds like a rap song in the making.
Oh, yeah, it does.
Oh man, a creeper blew up.
I sleep on sheep.
I'm a fool for wool.
That's really bad rapping.
As opposed to all the really good rapping that I do, right?
The one with the candy necklace?
Oh yeah, yeah, that was fun.
All right.
Oh, come on.
28.
I'm bored.
I'm bored with the wood.
What?
I'm bored with the wood.
What do we do with this 28 pieces of wood?
So, you can go into your inventory.
Uh, I, wait.
Ah!
E, I think.
E. E!
Okay, got it.
So, Dad, see your wood?
So, look.
Yeah.
Put it into the four, into the four squares at the very top.
Okay.
And now, see, Dad, do you see that right there underneath your face in the video?
Dad.
Oh, that.
Yeah, okay.
Yes.
Oh, planks!
Okay, so I get planks.
Now, do I just keep doing this?
Just double-click it.
Double-click it.
Just keep clicking it, basically.
Wow.
Oh, cool.
So we get 64.
That makes sense.
So you get the tree, and then you get... Okay.
Yeah, so now you keep making it until you're out of it, basically.
Oh, okay.
So I put this right there, and then there, and...
Okay, and now you can't get more than 64, is that right?
Yeah, in one.
Okay, so put that there.
You know how much I like things organized.
Dad, you can move to the 8, the 8 to the 40.
Oh yeah, yeah, thank you.
Oh, that gives me, how much does that give me, boo?
What?
Look at that fine, fine schooling.
Alright, so now what?
Follow me.
Where are you?
Ah, there you go, okay.
So, I'm gonna build a really small house.
Just because, the reason I'm doing that.
I want my own floor.
Actually, I want my own wing.
Dad, you're going to have to get over it because we're building one floor and we're going to shoot basically live.
Now, we would normally, can we turn into, oh, so for survival normally we'd have to build this before bedtime, right?
Before night time.
Yeah, okay.
Wait, no, Dad!
No!
Wait, wait.
How do I build?
Just move.
Move, please.
I'm going to teach you how to build later.
I just don't want this house wrecked.
I'm not wrecking it.
I'm enhancing it.
Oh, I know how to build!
Wait, wait, wait.
No!
What?
I'm freaking out, sorry.
I don't want you to be- Oh, I'm scared!
But look, it's square!
Wait, you need a couple of more layers here, right?
No, I just need- Okay, just build one more layer.
Oh, I am- Oh!
Oops, wrong one.
I am a past master at this.
I'm a building monster of building-ness.
Alright, hang on.
What the heck was that?
What?
Alright.
It's colloquial English, otherwise known as stuff I can make up in my head.
Alright.
Sounds good.
Alright.
All right.
You know, I've had to put up a tent in the woods.
It's really not quite this easy.
Whoa.
All right.
So you just break stuff and it just floats back into your inventory, right?
Yeah, basically.
Wow, I'm breaking wood with wood.
What a meta-narrative.
All right.
Wait one second.
Dad, I'm not quite done.
So that's going to be our door.
These are going to be our windows.
So you have to have something.
Whoa.
I thought I was doing that.
All right.
Okay.
So the doors and windows.
How do you get up?
Can you build a ladder or something?
Can I hit it with a sunflower?
I don't know.
I just thought that would be fun.
So what I'm going to do in this case.
Do you need another one?
Nope.
Alright.
Woah!
Ah!
I'm being caged in!
Oh, you know what's nice?
Oh, the rain stops!
I guess it would, right?
Well, I mean, there's a roof.
It's not that unrealistic.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, alright.
Close, but no.
Exactly.
No, the update made everything look more realistic and I officially ate it.
Wait, this is the more realistic version of Minecraft?
Yeah.
Alright.
Now, um, how do we get windows?
Oh, uh, so follow me.
Yeah.
Well first we need a furnace, let's go mining.
A furnace, let's go mining.
Follow me.
Alright.
So break some wood.
I'm going to absolutely pretend that I know what's going on here.
Wait, wait, actually go back to the house, sorry.
Break five, I need my axe, right?
Go back to the house, Ari.
I'm back at the house.
Okay, good.
What?
You're getting grounded, Magnus.
I'm getting what?
Grounded, Magnus.
You mean like I have to stay in?
Yeah.
I've got to go into my naughty corner and think about what I've done.
Turn around.
Oh, you mean the game?
So do you see the crafting table?
Yes.
Yeah.
Click it.
So make one stick.
So just click the sticks.
These?
44, yeah.
Okay.
And then this?
Click one.
That's all you need.
Got it.
And then see the shovel?
Uh, yes.
Click it once.
Click one.
So look back up there.
Up where the... Sorry.
Look.
Yeah.
Oh, here.
Okay, got it.
Sorry about that.
Oh, I got a plus!
So you got a plus, yeah.
Plus one attack damage.
Yeah.
As long as the enemy is the ground, I guess I'm set.
So, see me?
Yeah.
Oh, I gotta go to the shovel.
We're just gonna break a little bit of dirt over here.
Yeah.
Just cause we might need some for our mining.
Huh?
Doesn't matter.
Oh, this is fast.
That's because we have a shovel.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I'm sorry, I'm explaining everything.
No, that's... I can understand that.
Okay, I gotta tell you, and this is probably strange, is it oddly satisfying to, like, just shovel things?
I don't get satisfaction.
Alright.
I can't get no... That's an old song.
Alright.
Now, what do we do?
My foot's tingling because I sat on it for too long.
Oh, really?
You know the old joke, right?
Oh, your foot's asleep?
Oh man, now it's going to be up all night.
Okay, so look.
Okay, just follow me.
I'm not asking you to see me.
So you see this massive candy and make sure you don't fall over the edge.
Click sneak.
Click sneak.
What is that?
I don't know, Dad.
You're playing on a keyboard.
Okay, hang on.
Sneak.
See, that's my normal mode.
As you know.
Except when you come up, I was like, the tie, but I was bathing, the water was in my head, and I heard you coming up from doing a call-in show, and I'm like, hey, Dad's up!
And I'm like... Sneak.
Oh, shift.
Shift.
Okay, I can do that.
Shift.
Alright.
So I click shift, and then I can't go over the edge, right?
Yeah.
Ah!
You didn't click shift!
Oh!
Oops.
Okay, so now, oh, does it, now, do I, I held it down, right?
Now I can't go down.
Ooh, that's actually kind of dizzying.
Wait, ooh!
What's this?
What's this?
Iron.
You can't mine it yet.
Why?
I just... Damn it.
Dang it.
How are we going to get back?
I want it.
Wait, Dad.
What?
You can't mine it yet, so look.
Mine some cobblestone.
Oh, wait.
I really hope we have a crafting table.
Oh, I can make a crafting table.
Oh my gosh, that's too slow for me.
Okay.
What is?
I'm trying to do it with the shovel.
Yeah, that doesn't work.
So, Dad, do you see the crafting table?
I placed it right here.
Uh, yes.
Make a pickaxe.
A wooden pickaxe.
Okay.
Wait, I think I can do this.
A wooden pickaxe.
Got it.
Oh, look at me!
I am a graduated Way Beyond Noob.
I'm somewhatly smarter.
No, that's not a word.
Somewhatly.
Somewhatly?
I don't know.
I'm going to build a stone pickaxe.
Oh, I need a stone pickaxe.
Wait, so we're kind of stuck here, right?
No, we're not.
I'm on a ledge!
I can't get away.
Can I jump to the other side?
Oh god, no, don't do that.
Sorry, gosh, I need... Oh, okay.
Never dig straight down.
Minecraft number one rule.
Uh, why's that?
Because you could just fall to your death.
Oh, like if you dig through the bottom, right?
Watch.
See that Irish?
Wow, that is slow.
Dad, you're using your wooden pickaxe, not your stone.
Uh, do I have a stone?
Uh, well, I say you should make one.
Wooden shovel.
Wooden pickaxe.
Oh, I need to go back to my inventory, right?
And... Oh, I don't have the ingredients for a... Yeah, line some stone then.
Huh?
Okay.
Stone's all around you.
Alright.
Oh yeah, okay, this is faster.
And I just also wanted to mention that it's kind of interesting that wood can cut through stone this quickly.
Alright.
So here, what can I get here?
Oak boat!
Chest, craft table, stick.
Okay, I'm missing something, but what do I need?
I need a stone pickaxe, right?
Yeah.
A stone hoe.
That's a topic for another time.
Alright.
So what do I need?
Oh, I need two sticks.
Do you have any?
No, but I can make an arrow, which is actually kind of cool.
I can't get sticks here, though, right?
No, you can't.
Dad, you can craft sticks.
Just go back to the crafting table.
Oh, I get it.
Okay.
Oh, I've got to go to the crafting table.
You can even do it in your inventory if you want.
Hang on.
I'm staying on top of the crafting table, sorry.
There we go, okay, so if I want to make a stick Okay, I've got four sticks.
I don't need a bunch right I'll get I'll do it.
Okay, so now I can make my stone pickaxe.
Oh Yeah, I'm getting a hang of it.
All right, so can I crush the spark?
Yeah, I don't know.
Can I crush the table?
No.
So what do I do now?
Crush the table.
I don't want to crush the table.
Oh my god, I see gold!
Look dad, do you see that ore down there?
And by screen, look up by screen.
Do you see that?
That's gold.
Okay, so but how do we get down?
Can we go could we hack our way up?
Nope, don't build your way up.
Alright, so now what?
Just wait until I get up, then I'll teleport you.
Oh, so this is like cheating.
Let's just say I turned on cheats.
Alright, alright.
Wow, that is cool.
Okay, so I've built and I'm gonna... So you're going up?
I'm already up.
Alright.
Should I break this table and then bring it with me?
Oh, I just teleported me to you.
That's not what we want though, right?
No.
We want to go the other way.
Alright.
Uh-oh.
Oh, we're done.
Okay, I've got the crafting table, I think.
Wait, let me just do something.
Well, I've got most of my wood back.
Okay, sorry.
And now...
Wait one second.
Sorry.
I'm almost up, sorry.
You know what?
I get what you mean.
There is an odd kind of prettiness to it, right?
It's evening and there's lava flowing beneath you and you're about to die if you fall.
Yeah, you know it just it reminds me of like there was this game when I was I guess in my teens called Doom that had these kinds of graphics and it's like people were like whoa that's really cool and it's now it's like what 30 years later.
Ooh, that's some time.
Yeah, it's like 30 years later and now it's like wow this is where we are.
Alright, can you teleport me up?
I'm bored.
I'm almost there, my gosh.
Did you break the pickaxe?
I mean, the crafting table?
Yeah, yeah, I got all that.
One second.
Now, there's lines along the bottom.
That's my stuff wearing out, right?
Whoa!
Alright, teleport it, right?
Oh, wait, you went all the way back here?
Yeah.
Ah, okay, okay.
Got it.
Alright, we're gonna do that next time we have to go downtown.
Oh my gosh.
Now, now what?
Ah, it's night time.
Monster's coming!
Wait, Izzy, there's something coming in at the door.
Wait.
You don't look like a zombie.
But I sound like one, don't I?
Dad, stop.
You're interrupting my building.
All right.
Wait.
Have I ever, ever interfered with your concentration during your entire childhood?
A lot.
Constantly.
Hey, everyone's got a job to do.
All right.
So do you see your wood pieces?
Fill in the floor with wood.
Fill in the floor with wood.
Okay.
Hang on.
I got to get out.
You have so much more wood than I do.
We're done.
Hang on, I'm using the wood to break the wood.
I took your piece of wood!
Wait, can we have a door?
How do we make a door?
No, I need more wood.
I ran out of wood.
So far, I'm not quite getting the Minecraft.
It's kind of neat, but what am I missing?
What am I not getting here?
I don't know, I'm finding this fun.
Alright, so tell me, help me understand, what is it that you find fun?
I'm not saying it's not fun, but you know, it's like the greatest computer game of all time.
It's got a distinct lack of rocket launchers.
What do you find fun in Skyrim?
Fun in Skyrim?
Yeah.
It's got puzzles, it's kind of realistic, there are cool monsters, and strategy, and exploration, and all that kind of stuff, right?
Yeah, well I mean, okay.
All right, so we're going to get to the part where we fight stuff, right?
Yeah, we will.
Like the chicken of doom.
Yeah, kill the chicken.
No, I'm not killing the chicken.
Why?
We need food.
Okay, you know what?
I'm going to put this, since you seem really bored, I'm putting it to normal.
That's the difficulty is normal.
Okay.
Wait, that doesn't make things harder to mine, though, does it?
No, it doesn't.
Okay, it says monsters.
It's like fighting the monsters.
That's the deal, right?
Okay.
And your food will run out.
Okay.
And your health doesn't automatically re-go back.
Alright, so now... And if you want more health, then you have to, uh... Eat, right?
You have to eat food.
Ah, right.
Okay, um... So we have a house, and we need a door, right?
I'm gonna see what I can do to make a door.
Yeah, actually, that's why I was buying it here, because I had no wood, basically, so... Oh, a loom.
What?
A redstone torch.
Isn't that used for powering stuff?
A what?
A redstone torch.
Oh, um...
Yeah it is, but I'd say don't use it now.
How the heck did he get that?
That sunflower is not gonna end up getting a lot of sun.
I know.
It's just facing the wall.
Saddest sunflower ever.
He's like, why did you have to build my house here?
No, I placed it there.
It's a wallflower.
Oh, that's actually a fine joke.
Dad!
What?
I placed the sunflower there.
You did?
I did.
Oh, can I move it?
No.
Alright.
Actually, yeah.
Nah, it's fine.
Doesn't matter.
Okay.
I can't get emotionally invested in where the digital sunflower is facing.
Like, I gotta have a reign on my empathy.
Okay, so I just need to do something quickly.
I'm gonna break the chest that I placed it when I was at the creative point.
Okay, whatever.
Forget.
Is that a horse?
Yeah.
I want to ride a horse.
Guys, there's this monster with a trident.
Maybe I can get his trident.
Whoa.
Did I get?
Oh, I got Rotten Flush, okay.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Alright.
I guess everyone has their food preferences.
No, Rotten Flush poisons you.
I guess it would.
Oh, there's fish in there!
Yeah, I know.
A dancing seaweed.
Didn't I tell you there were 3,482 types of tropical fish?
And you've counted them all individually.
Totally.
Yeah.
No, it says that in a message.
Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, I'm going in the water.
Dad, you're going to drown.
No, I won't, sweetie.
You have no clue how to swim in Minecraft.
Alright.
I don't, actually.
There's some way of going down and up, right?
I've got to check that.
No, no, no.
Click your down button.
Which is?
I don't know.
Click your down button.
I don't know what that is.
Your move down button.
Your backward button.
Hang on.
I'll figure out what it is.
Hang on.
Down, down, down.
I really don't think it's going to tell you because... Space and shift.
Ah, space and shift.
Okay, I can do that.
Okay, so if I'm in the water and I want to go down, I do the shift.
Ah, okay.
And then I can... Alright, can I go and... You know, just as you would normally go fishing, you would do it by...
Hitting a sword.
Hitting a fish with a sword.
That's how it rolls, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So now what do we do?
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
It's blocky.
We've made some new blocks and we've eliminated some blocks.
Dad.
And now what?
Where are you?
Izzy, you know how difficult it is to keep me stimulated.
Yes, I do.
ADHD is my Roman name.
Come here.
What?
Just follow me.
All right.
I'm going to make you.
You stepped on the chicken.
I know.
Pretty funny.
Go kill the sheep.
Nah, I don't want the sheep.
Kill the sheep.
Nah.
I don't want to.
You have to.
Why?
We need beds.
This is not how I got my last mattress.
I just want everyone to know I don't go to a pharmacy.
It is!
He did!
All right.
Now what?
We go back to the house?
Um, if you want.
And I make the bed?
Dad, wait.
What?
I make the bed?
I've got sheep bits, right?
No, we need more sheep bits.
We need three bits of sheep.
Oh, okay.
So I can get this sheep, right?
He's pink.
Oh, does that mean he's... Oh, no, that's a pig.
Sorry, not a sheep.
We're back!
All right, I'm back.
But we're actually pink sheep in Minecraft.
Really?
Alright, can we make a horse bed?
I'm going to summon a sheep because I'm really lazy.
You're what?
I'm going to summon sheep.
Summon sheep?
Because I'm really lazy.
That is like the worst satanic ritual ever.
It's seriously so stupid.
Don't look!
What?
Summon sheep, oh yeah yeah.
Look, look, I got a massive white sheep.
Okay, so we got enough for a bed?
Uh, no, we need one, yeah, we need two beds.
Dad?
You know what?
No, no, we can do two beds, it's fine.
Dad, put your, go into the chest.
Yeah.
Put your wool, put everything, like, I mean, okay, see your wool?
Yeah.
Put it with the other wool.
Oh, okay, got it.
And then put your, uh, raw, your raw mutton in here.
So, now we're gonna make a, oh, Dad!
So... What?
I want you to do something.
See the cobblestone in the chest?
Seeds.
Cobblestone.
Put it with your cobblestone.
So go back.
Trust me.
Go into the crafting table.
And now?
Well, see the furnace?
It was right on it.
You were right on it.
Here?
Yeah.
Oh, I make a furnace?
Yeah, make a furnace.
Cool.
Now place it.
No, put it in your actual front.
Dad, you never equipped your elytra.
Equip it.
Oh, I should equip it?
Yeah, go into your... I don't know what it is.
Oh, I don't need dirt, so I'll put this here.
And if I go here, I can... Eight.
Elytra?
And then how do I equip it?
Click it twice, I think.
Nope.
I don't know how you do it.
Sorry, Dad.
Maybe it's E. No?
Oh, I know!
Yeah!
Oh, I put it on here, right?
Yeah.
There we go.
I'm a cool cape!
I'm gonna fly!
I believe I can...
I'm not lying.
Okay, we're coming back.
Okay, we're going to make the bed, right?
Yeah.
No, you need the furnace.
Did you make the furnace?
Yeah, no.
I did.
Look, look, look.
Yeah.
Oh, I've got to put the furnace here, right?
Uh, there, right?
Wait, no, no.
Got it.
Wait, wait, wait.
I need to adjust something.
Now I can make stuff with the furnace, right?
Ah!
You killed my furnace.
Yeah, I placed it again.
You killed my furnace.
Alright.
So we need coal.
So come with me.
We're going to go mine coal.
Alright.
I'm still waiting for the... Okay.
Dad, this is Minecraft.
Just roaming around making stuff.
Digging and making.
Alright.
Now I want you to glide into here so you can just die.
Wait.
Oh, the gliding is tough.
Okay, so how do I glide again?
What happens if I die?
Then you just spawn.
This is a very interesting philosophical question.
Dad, look.
Yes.
So look, see this?
Yeah.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to See, I just clicked it.
So you just jump over and then you do the up.
You click it twice.
Wait, I just fell.
How did I fall?
The pig pushed me over!
You hit a pig butt!
No, the pig pushed me over.
Oh my god!
It's revenge for the sheep.
They're all banded together.
Alright.
No, for the pig that I killed.
Alright.
Okay, so I do a jump thing here, right?
Ah!
The pig!
No, something else hit you.
A skeleton, I bet.
Did you warn me?
Were you keeping Daddy safe?
I don't know, but all I know is that I landed here.
Look, look Dad, look where I landed.
Oh, good job.
Alright, now wait, where were we now?
Now I can see you somewhere, right?
Yep, I'm just going to mine some coal.
Aren't you going to help me enjoy the game?
Oh wait, I just fell in the lava.
Sorry, okay, I'm dead now.
Oh!
Hang on, I need a sword.
I've got to get this guy.
Where are you?
He's the guy... I don't want that!
All right, hang on.
Seven, eight.
Stone pickaxe.
No, no, no.
Sword, Dad.
Sword.
Oh, yeah, someone.
Okay.
Why can't I hit this dude?
Oh, there we go.
Oh, I just pushed him off.
Vengeance is mine!
Sayeth the Minecrafty dude.
I hope he fell in lava.
Dad, you just hit me.
What?
Oh, a skeleton.
I see the skeleton.
Where is he?
Arrow.
He just hit me.
See, I've gone from being bored to panicking.
Isn't that wonderful?
Okay, hang on.
So let me see.
Do I have my... Okay, so I'm going to try flying, all right?
I see him.
Now Izzy, do I jump to fly?
He's gonna murder me!
Izzy, do I jump to fly?
Yeah, jump and then double hit the jump button twice.
Oh, oh, I'm flying!
Phil, you fell into the lava!
No, I didn't fall.
I did some kind of little fly thing.
Yeah, and then you smacked.
Okay.
All right, hang on.
I'm totally gonna kill the skeleton.
I'm mad at him.
Okay, I just fell basically.
I've never had any luck with this.
You never have and you probably never will.
Oh, that's so encouraging.
I appreciate that.
You're welcome.
I've never felt more motivated.
Ah, lava!
Get back in the water.
Hey, there's a current here.
Did you know that?
Yes, there are currents.
All right.
Whoa, dude.
I feel like I'm a burning man.
And I got a bone.
I got a bone.
You got a bone?
Yeah, and I'm going to pick up all his arrows now.
All right, hang on.
Very narrow thing to walk on.
We're going to say just fall off so you can respawn.
No, no, no.
Nonsense.
You'll come down and help me.
Oh, wait.
I'm going to get some stuff here.
Why would I do that, Dad?
Oh, burn.
All right.
Where is the stony axey pickaxe?
No, I want the stone pickaxe, right?
Now, am I mining down here, you said?
Dad, you are seriously... Okay, I'm going to jump down.
You told me to mine.
Lapis!
Okay.
Whoa, did you just find this?
Uh, ooh, what's the red stuff here?
Red stuff!
You can't mine it yet.
You can't mine it yet.
Dad, Dad, Dad, please trust me.
How did you find me?
Oh, I just fell down.
This is kind of hypnotic.
It's like staring into a dragon's eyes as he takes your soul.
What?
That's like not, like, I don't know.
Okay.
Alright, what do we have?
So, Dad.
Yeah?
I want you to mine as much wood and stuff.
Okay, whatever, not wood, but you know what I mean.
Hey, that's mine!
You keep in the way of our mining, alright.
What's the difference between these two kinds of wood blocks?
One's lighter and one's like granite?
The white one is super ugly, so.
Alright.
That's the difference.
Here we are, breaking Lego.
Alright.
Dad!
Oh, it's spreading!
I know.
That's bad, right?
No, not really.
Oh, what's the blue stuff?
Don't mine it.
You can't mine it.
I just did.
You did?
I did.
You say you knew Minecraft.
Oh, maybe this means I can mine the red stuff.
All right, hang on, hang on.
Oh, I can, but I just have to be kind of patient.
No, no, no, stop, stop!
Why?
No, you don't pick it up if you don't mind it was an iron pickaxe.
It vanishes?
Yes, it just, you can't pick it up, Dad.
Please don't mind the red stuff.
And I'm assuming we can't mind the lava.
Uh, you cannot mind lava.
All right, and now what do we do?
We got all this stuff.
So now we die, because I'll tell you why.
We can't get up.
No, yeah.
Now what we could do is we could build a stairway.
We could build a stair... Okay, never mind.
So we're just burning.
And we can do this because we keep our inventory.
Try to swim in lava.
Yeah, I see you.
So we've got stuff now, what do we do?
Ready?
Yeah.
If you go to your crafting table.
Crafting table, alright.
And, what do I get?
So, I want you to build another furnace.
Actually, no, I got it.
I got it.
I can build 19 crafting tables.
I assume that doesn't help me much.
Oak trapdoor.
Ooh, I like it.
I'm going to...
Oh, craftable.
Okay.
Let me just...
Wait, what?
Oh my God, what was I going to do?
No!
Even this font is driving me crazy.
What?
Well, it's like...
It's like lights.
The font is so low-res.
I didn't like me.
For goodness sake.
Now what?
Wait one second.
I'm totally not using cheese right now.
All right.
There's a moment of pride.
Wait, eight?
Don't worry, sunflower.
The sun will be back soon, my friend.
Break it.
I would give a nice smile.
Click it.
I don't want to break the sunflower.
Click it.
Why do I want to break the sunflower?
Just hold it for one second.
You made me kill a sunflower.
Yeah.
That's my enjoyment of Minecraft.
Alright, now what?
Wait, one second.
What?
Okay.
So, so far... You got 20 pieces of coal, I think.
You got 20 pieces of coal.
Okay, now what?
So, go to the furnace.
Yes.
And make yellow dye?
No, no, no, no.
Furnace stat!
Oh, furnace, sorry.
Furnace!
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Anyone.
Alright.
Now, I'm going to go into the chest.
Yeah.
So, I'm going to give you a little bit of iron.
Alright.
Just wait.
That will keep me from getting anemic.
Oh!
Medical joke.
I don't know.
Iron is something in your blood that you need.
Do you get iron?
Yeah, do you get iron?
Wait, it didn't show up.
Oh, iron ore!
No?
Well, let me do one.
Okay, I put the coal in.
And then what?
The coal goes in here.
In the furnace?
No, sorry, you don't need to.
Take your coal back.
Alright.
Now put your iron in.
Into the top one.
Yep.
You're gonna get iron ore now.
Oh, there's a little thing going across here.
It's pretending that it takes time.
Okay, that's cool.
It does take time.
I know, but it doesn't have to, right?
Okay, so I got the iron ingot.
Ingot!
Lovely.
Where do we remember first word of ingot that we found?
Let me think.
I know what it's called.
No, not Mallory Towers.
Famous Five!
That's right, The Hitting It's.
And now?
Do I do another one?
Oh, it's making more.
Things happening while I'm babbling.
It's like my show.
And now?
You know what's funny?
We're talking about burns while we're doing a furnace.
Dad, so I'm going to do something.
I'm going to go into the chest and I'm going to take all our food.
I just took your iron.
Alright.
And now what?
What do we do with all this stuff?
So, we're making cooked mutton now.
And cooked stuff.
I'm not hungry.
I don't care.
That's because we just died.
Oh, right, right.
And we ate our own mortality.
Yes, we did.
Sure we did.
What?
I'm confused.
I like how all the sunflowers are facing the starlight like they're desperately hungry.
So, I want to do something.
So, go into the crafting table.
Yes.
Do you have any iron?
Oh, you only have one piece.
Okay.
I'm going to give you some of my iron.
I have an iron.
I thought I had two.
Yeah, I know.
I took out the other two because you didn't take them out of the furnace.
You just stole from me.
You didn't take them out of the furnace.
Oh, fair enough.
You stole from the furnace.
What?
Alright, we have to go over property rights and the non-aggression principle again.
Oh, no.
Not again.
So.
Oh, I can make a plus.
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait.
Alright.
I'm sorry.
I got scared.
So.
I still want the oak boat.
I know.
You can actually make one.
I know.
You can actually use it.
So look, I'm going to give you four sticks.
Okay.
Use them wisely.
Okay, and what am I making?
So, make an iron pickaxe.
Iron pickaxe, alright.
Stone hoe, iron hoe.
Last time I used a hoe, I got blister.
Alright, iron pickaxe.
Got it.
Now you like it.
And I'm replacing the stone pickaxe, because the stone pickaxe now sucks, right?
Okay, yeah.
Okay, got it.
Totally.
I'm making a sign, just because I want to.
No, Dad, don't waste your items for nothing.
No, I'm going to put a sign out while you're doing stuff because I'm bored.
What are you going to write?
Hang on.
Wait.
So I put a sign here, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, free domain radio, right?
There you go.
Radio sign.
Radio.
All right.
And can I do an enter here?
Oh, I can.
All right.
Philosophy, Wade, here we go, lives here.
I'm breaking the sign.
No, don't break the sign!
It's low rent.
All right.
Look at me.
Go look at that.
Freedom Aid Radio.
Oh!
Please tell me it got hit by lightning.
All right, it's time to turn on friendly fire.
I'm hitting you with a sign.
Okay, okay.
I saw the sign.
All right, go on.
Wait.
What?
Poor sunflower.
Oh, run away!
I can't hit you with a sign, that's no good.
I can hit you with cobblestone?
Yeah.
Run away!
Creeper!
What?
Let's team up against it, it's gonna kill me!
Hit it with the sword!
I did.
Burn it with fire!
I don't have fire.
Put him in the furnace!
Hey!
Hey!
Okay, that's it, I'm gonna have to eat.
What?
Is that how I get health back?
Yeah.
Okay, now what do we do?
I took all the food!
I took all the food!
Excellent.
Now what?
Nothing.
Here, do you want some food?
I'm getting it.
No?
Oh yeah, I think I've got a piece of salmon.
No, that's raw, Dad!
Don't!
Oh!
Oh!
That's it.
That's it.
Chase!
Chase scene!
Oh!
You know, all you have to do is use the elytra that I can't ever use.
No, the thing is, you have to go at a height to use it.
Okay, so when I'm down to like a couple of health, it's a good time to run away, right?
Okay, can we start fighting each other and do something else?
No, this is fun.
No, no, no, I don't want to die.
I don't want to die.
That's it.
I'm going to jump into the lava rather than be killed by my own offspring, Greek style.
Alright.
No, I was hiding!
You couldn't find me!
I was hiding!
You weren't even in sneak!
Respawn, it really does make me feel like, not just like I have Salmon, but I am Salmon.
Alright.
That was hilarious!
It was hilarious, and you know why?
Because you won.
Alright, now what?
So, do you have your Iron Pit guys?
Uh, yes.
Yeah, follow me.
Alright.
So I get to murder you now.
Alright, crime and punishment style.
I lied!
All right.
Now what?
Did you just fall?
I fell!
Oh, there's a poor horse here stuck!
Hit it!
I'm not hitting a horse!
Sorry, I died.
I just got killed.
All right.
Oh, bad dude.
Oh, I have a, um... Oh, no, I thought... I want to get a bow and arrow.
Yes.
Oh, it's morning.
Dad, do you see me?
Ah, the square sun has returned.
Turn around.
What?
Follow me.
There's a zombie.
I'm going to kill it.
Dad!
Oh, sorry.
All right.
Now what?
Oh, you got the zombie, right?
I'm gonna kill it.
Ready?
Whoa.
Oh, he fell over the edge!
Oh, he's gonna die in a fiery trap!
Okay, what do we do now?
So, do you see me?
Yes.
Jump over the edge, into the water.
Into the water?
Yeah.
So that we can find the cave that you found.
Ahhh!
So realistic.
It's like two inches of water, you fall from like 300 feet, and you're totally fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Very realistic.
All right.
So now we're back to just chopping at things, right?
Chopping everything.
That's life.
That's why I was born.
Dark.
Very dark.
Very dark.
What do you do?
It's too scary for me in there, boo.
There are spiders!
I can make a torch.
No, I can't make a torch because you need the crafting table.
Oh, I can make a crafting table!
Oh, I'm getting the hang of this.
Crafting table.
There we go.
I'm okay!
What?
I'm okay because I totally did not cheat and got myself into creative.
Wait, we're in creative?
I got out.
No, I am, and I just turned myself back into survival.
Okay, this is very dark.
Just go follow me.
I don't know how to, it's too dark.
Just keep walking forward.
Alright.
Oh, wait, yeah, there's a lot of broken stuff.
Okay, wait, I'll build you out.
I'm jumping.
No, it's not gonna help.
Ah, my eyes have failed me.
Alright, there we go.
Just wait one second, I'm breaking you out.
Don't hit me when you're breaking me out.
Hi, Dad.
All right, I feel like some kids in a Chilean mine or something.
Okay, there we go.
Now, oh, this is where we hit before, right?
A slime!
A slime!
Hey!
Nice.
All right, now what?
See how I'm not breaking your slime?
Hey, Biggs.
Watch, watch, watch.
Oh!
Watch.
Throw it into the lava.
All right, come on.
What are we doing now?
So, do you see the iron?
It's the fat stuff above the lava.
All right.
Okay, ignore the iron.
It's falling into the lava.
Can we put water on the lava?
No, we're mining the blue stuff.
No, it's blue stuff, dad.
It's blue stuff.
Obviously you can see it.
Is that the water?
No, it's the water.
You can't mine water.
Have you ever heard of anyone mining water?
I guess that's true.
It's a very good point.
I defer to your expertise in mining.
What?
Oh, clipping.
What?
Physics fail.
Alright, now what?
Are you really bored?
I just don't know what we're doing.
Like, what's the next point of this?
What's the point of the next thing here?
Okay, wait.
I'm honest, this is Minecraft.
This is what you do.
No, but we have to be building for some purpose, right?
Yeah, so we have to find diamonds.
Why?
Because that allows us to travel to the nether.
My smartwatch is telling me it thinks I've died.
I'm not moving.
Alright.
We have to find diamonds?
Yeah, so we can build in the nether.
Uh, what does that mean?
Oh, so we can build a portal into the Nether.
Okay, and then what do we do?
Can I totally cheat?
Dad, can you get off?
Well, I think I can.
I'm drifting into the lava!
I'm laughing so hard right now.
This is like the most exciting swimming pool I've ever been to.
With lava.
Alright, I need a potion of water walking.
Oh, there's red stuff down here.
That's what we want, right?
Oh, except it's on the other side of lava.
Now, can I cross the lava if I go really fast?
I think I just answered my own question about whether I can cross the lava.
All right.
I'm going to go and get a couple of torches.
I can make torches in here, right?
Which allow me to... Oh, there we go.
Torch.
All right.
Wow.
Seven pieces of coal in one.
All right.
Torch.
Four torches.
All right.
This I don't need.
Put the torches here.
And can I make a bow and arrow?
I cannot.
What do I need for a crossbow?
Stick, iron ingot, string, tripwire, hook.
Oh yeah, that's about to happen.
What about bow?
It's gotta be easier, right?
A bow.
Oh, I need string.
What do I get string for?
I have 45 pieces of redstone!
Okay.
Are you coming back up?
Yeah, soon.
I'll probably just die, so.
Obsidian!
Oh my god, okay.
Can I cheat and give ourselves diamonds?
Uh, yes.
Whatever gets us to the next part of the game, so that I can finally comprehend the magic that is known as Minecraft.
Okay.
Alright, so you died, so you're respawning near the house, right?
Wait, one second.
Alright.
I'm not cheating!
Alright.
Oops.
Sorry.
Wait a second.
No, wait, I have to go back and re-say something.
It will help us get to the next part.
Alright.
How do you repair your stuff?
You each get 20 diamonds, because I'm officially greedy.
Okay.
Now?
Uh, you need an anvil, and I have no clue how to craft one, so that's- How do you- an anvil?
I think that's how you say it.
Yeah, no, that is how you say it, but how do you- Oh my god, we have to make diamond armor, okay.
You can make diamond armor- Don't do that, don't do it, don't make anything until I say you can.
Alright.
I did make one thing, but you haven't found it.
Oh my god, no, what did you make?
Nothing.
Thank you.
No, seriously, dad, please tell me what you made.
A sign!
Izzy, do you ever have that feeling like you're being watched?
A sign.
What?
Izzy, you have to read it.
Where is it?
Oh, it's not around here at all.
In some ways it may be.
Hard to say.
Alright, now what?
Where's the sign?
You have not saw the sign, seen the sign.
What does it say?
Why are you breaking the house?
No, that's the house.
No, it doesn't keep the lettering, does it?
How tragic.
Alright, now what?
Wait, are you going to say?
Are you making a sign?
Wait one second, yeah.
It looks like you're kissing the sunflower.
My house is fat.
My house is fat, alright.
Alright.
Cause he's got a fat house.
Take the two sticks from inside the thing.
The thing is in chest.
Got it.
Now, go to the crafting table.
Make a diamond pickaxe!
No, not that!
No, please!
Make a diamond pickaxe.
Alright.
No, you have to go to the crafting table.
I thought I was.
Alright, there we go.
Diamond chestplate?
Pickaxe!
Sorry, sorry.
Diamond axe.
No, not axe!
That's it.
Diamond axe.
Oh, diamond pickaxe.
I got it.
My apologies.
All right.
And replace the wooden pickaxe, which we now think is terrible.
And now what?
Put your diamonds in the chest.
Oh, uh, all right.
Put the needle on the record.
What?
Oh, chest.
Sorry, my diamonds in the chest.
I put it on here, right?
34.
Okay.
Put anything you don't want in the chest.
I don't know what I want.
Oh, sunflower.
Oh, the chest is full.
Okay.
Like it's full of phlegm.
All right.
Now, what do we do?
Oh, didn't mean to do that.
Do you see me?
What?
All right, never mind.
Do you see me?
Yeah.
It's really not allowing me to fly too well.
So, Dad?
Yeah?
I'm going to hit the horse.
Thank you.
This horse, wait.
It's officially been hit!
What did you do to the poor horsey?
I threw it in the water.
This is all very inspiring for me as a peaceful parent.
Now what?
So, follow me.
That feels weird to do.
Horse tried to swim!
Horse tried to swim in lava below your coordinates.
Okay, I don't want to see the dead horse.
That's, like, sad for me.
Alright, now where do we go?
Into the dark here again?
No, no, no.
What?
Where?
Oh, you built a road.
Cool, cool, cool.
That reminds me of Dragon Bay.
Why do I have an egg right now?
Uh, right.
I just collected an egg.
I'm gonna break some obsidian.
It takes a really long time to break.
Even with the diamond thing?
Oh gosh, yes.
Dad, look at my thing.
Can I help you?
No, I can't, right?
If you're doing it, I can't do it at the same time, right?
Dad, did you just pick up my obsidian?
I hope so.
What the heck?
Listen, I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do the work.
I just want to get all the rewards.
Dad, you're going to do the work.
I'm an intellectual.
Do the work.
I feel like I'm making massive amounts of steam by mixing the lava with the water.
That's how you create obsidian.
Is that right?
All right.
Is that true in the real world?
I have no clue.
I have no idea.
Well, at least it's educational.
Okay.
That's probably just gonna fall in the lava, but whatever.
Damn it!
What?
I just fell in the lava!
Can I make a suggestion?
Ow!
Actually, it wasn't an ow.
All right.
What do we got here?
Ay!
Do not flick Daddy's ears when he's trying to concentrate.
It's on video, so I don't care.
Oh, when he's not trying to concentrate.
All right, hang on.
Ooh, that's slow.
I hope you fall in the lava.
Now, you know what's going to happen if people end up watching this and you know what happens?
What?
Are you going to say that's not a peaceful paradigm shift?
No, they're going to say that, uh... I'm such a noob.
No, that that's not how you play Minecraft and blah blah blah.
Okay, so now what?
What do we do?
Let's just play for another few minutes and then you can explain to me afterwards what we were supposed to be doing.
Alright.
I don't know!
I never find playing Minecraft... Darn, I just died.
Ooh, I've got something here.
Playing Minecraft with other people is really hard.
I find it so much easier to play by myself.
Maybe if you explain things properly, then it wouldn't be so hard.
Hi.
I just keep plummeting from the sky.
Alright.
Sky is difficult.
Oh, I can't get up, right?
So I should die.
No, no, no!
You need more obsidian, Dad.
I don't know where it is, though.
You need like 30 pieces of it.
For what?
Can't you just... You summon them, like you summon the... Do you want me to?
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
I don't even know where the obsidian is here.
But this diamond pickaxe, though, does some really good-- Whoa!
I am in your brain, as your conscience.
You got 20 obsidian.
So die.
So we just die?
Go to the lava.
I'm coming to join you, my horsey friend!
Okay, so now we come back.
Okay.
Alright.
Oh, it's getting dark!
Does that mean the monster's come?
Yeah.
Alright, let's do it.
Wait, I just need to do something.
How is the diamond pickaxe a weapon?
Really bad.
No, is it?
It does five damage.
Ooh, okay.
Now what?
Wait, just watch.
Are we gonna make a better weapon?
Watch!
What?
You don't need a better- actually, yeah, you do.
What?
Make a- Oh, you're baking something here with the obsidian?
Make a diamond sword.
Uh, okay.
I'll go make a diamond sword.
Oh, wait, that's the furnace, right?
All right.
Oh, no, not the furnace.
What is that?
Crafting table?
I'm going to make some flint and steel.
I've got no diamond sword!
Dad.
No, let me make a diamond sword.
Okay, you have no pick, you have no sticks.
I need diamonds.
Oh.
They're in here, right?
Okay.
Take the diamond, put it, put the needle on the record, take the diamond, put it here, go over here, make the diamond sword, right?
Now the diamond sword is like something, it's a big deal, right?
It does summon damage.
Now what?
Can we find something?
I just made flint and steel and we're going to go to the nether.
Alright.
I need a diamond sword too.
Dad, please don't tell me.
Dad, can I have the diamonds?
Well, what do I get in return?
I'm a trader.
You get to have fun.
Is it going to start now?
Get the diamonds in the chest.
Alright.
Got it.
Haha!
No, I'm not going to kill a sunflower with a diamond sword.
That seems just a little bit like overkill.
Alright, what do we got?
Alright, I'm gonna go out here and practice ninja moves.
Dad, you don't have ninja moves.
I assume this is going to be a one hit thing.
I still feel bad about it.
Alright.
I'm just putting my items back in the chest.
I like how I won death hole here.
Come kids, let's play!
Alright, now what?
We go to the nether?
Oooh!
I jump through?
No, don't jump through.
You have to go on it.
Oh, just on it?
Alright.
It should work soon.
Whoa!
Rippling.
And then, building terrain.
I really hope you spawn in some helpful place.
Oh well.
Oh my.
Ah!
What?
How is that fun?
How is that fun?
Oh man.
Oh, the portal's still running, right?
It's supposed to actually glide, Dad.
Um, I did, just very vertically, I think.
Uh, the reason I gave you elytra was for a point.
I didn't just give you it.
And did you mention anything like that to me?
Well, no, I didn't expect it.
I just got another portal, too.
Alright.
I got the zombie pigments for every single one.
So you're still in the nether, right?
Yeah.
Alright.
Okay, now that's better.
Alright.
Now I'm not falling to my death.
Alright, now what?
Ah!
No!
I can't believe I fell again!
Oh, come on!
Oh, come on!
I'm so mad.
My recording just stopped.
Okay, so you're gonna introduce this last bit, right?
Yeah, so I didn't exactly feel like doing the same world, and so we decided... I just built this little tiny parkour map, because reasons, but whatever.
And we're gonna do some elytra gliding.
All right, Dad, so you're probably just gonna... So I just thump the microphone until I crash into lava.
That's my understanding of how the elytra works.
It's an illusion that gets you to jump off the edge and artfully fall to your demise.
Totally, okay.
But yeah, so...
Wait, what have we got?
You need to take some fish.
You may be able to tame a dragon.
You already have fish.
That's because of an add-on!
Yes.
Okay, got it.
Right.
So, yeah, I have my elytra.
We're just going to start it off.
Yeah.
Let me just check it's on my back.
Yeah, it is.
All right.
I have wings, I believe.
And so the first part, we're not going to do anything.
So just tap once.
So it's jumping.
Ah!
Ah!
Tap once.
So you've made the parkour impossible.
It's not impossible!
Functionally impossible for noobs.
Wait, one second.
Wait, how do I get back up?
I'll do it.
Ah!
Are you going to tell them to put me back up?
Yeah, see me?
Dad, you just moved!
Dad!
Oh, sorry.
Okay.
You have been teleported to Jenna Dragons, who then apparently pushed you off the cliff.
There.
Oh, we're up.
So what you do, run, double click the jump button to the very end, and then you fell.
Wait, no, I'm respawning.
I'm fine.
That's easier.
All right.
So, hang on.
I feel like you're going to die.
Oh, you didn't say run forward.
See, you've got to be detailed, but dead.
Alright.
You did it!
I really did.
Alright, hang on.
Now... Wait, can I just... You know what?
I should go and drown and that way I'll come back up to you.
Or, yeah, yeah, right?
So hang on.
Over here, over... Dragon!
Yeah, it's a dragon!
Hello, my pet lizard!
That's because I got a How to Train Your Dragon mod on here, so... Ah, very cool.
It replaced Phantoms.
Just go drown.
Alright.
I know, that just sounds so healthy.
I know, I know.
It's like, just go drown.
I'm joining you, my fishy friends!
I am sleeping with the fishes, like I'm in a movie.
I don't know.
Okay.
Alright, so my air bubbles are going down.
My health is going down.
Look, there's a dragon.
It's gonna die.
It's in the water?
Yeah, it dies.
Why is it following me?
Um, yeah.
There we go.
Okay, respawn.
Alright.
So I've got the first jump, no problem.
And the second jump, you just died.
Alright.
Ah!
You fell.
Dad, you fell.
Oh my gosh.
You'll live.
You'll live.
Okay, hang on.
I can come back up.
I can do it.
Wait, okay, I'm back up.
Alright, so now.
Jump, right?
Double tap the... Ooh, wait.
And get ready with the jump.
Okay.
I don't know how to do the second one, though.
You do.
Go.
Do I do a double tap and then jump?
Yeah.
No, you didn't jump.
You're gliding!
I am!
Oh, I've never done this before.
Oh, edge of the world!
Edge of the world!
Yeah.
Oh, coming in for a gentle landing.
Oh!
You did it!
Dad, you glided!
Is the dragon gonna pick up my teeth from the side of the mountain?
Did you see it has green eyes?
The dragon?
Yeah, I do see it.
Oh, yeah, cool.
Okay, so just go drown again.
Actually, no way.
Just teleport me.
I feel odd keeping drowning.
Is that toothless?
Basically, there are like three different types.
So basically, this parkour is impossible.
It's not much.
Dad, so you're gonna have to do some electric gliding again.
Okay, let's just do some gliding for now, alright?
And we'll end up there.
Oh, is that where we're going?
Yeah, so remember, jump, run forward, jump once, and then five seconds later, jump again.
I got it, I got it!
Look, you're not supposed to land there.
No, but I did!
I did a bit of gliding!
Listen, that's quite thrilling for me.
Okay, teleport me up there if you can.
Oh, it's so cheating.
Oh, in your brain.
All right.
Where I will haunt you as your conscience forever.
All right.
Ready?
Say this.
Yeah.
Go.
Go.
Oh, I opened that.
I closed it.
No, I closed it for you.
Got it.
Now.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
I messed up.
I'm going to teleport myself to you.
Oh, wait.
I did the jumping, tapping.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, yeah.
I teleported myself to you.
Ah, I can't see now because I'm in your brain.
Wait, I fell.
Wait, Dad, please don't jump for a second.
You know what I have to do now, right?
Jump.
Yeah, but I'm just jumping in place.
I'm doing some deep knee bends.
Like I'm in some Monty Python video.
Okay, go!
Now you realize if you can't do the parkour, I'm going to assume it's impossible.
Is this a double tap jumpy thing?
Yeah, double tap.
And then you kind of have to do a bit hard here.
Oh yeah!
I totally want to slap you off the edge.
I understand.
Oh!
Ooh, I like this colorful thing.
That's very cool.
Oh, it gets more colorful.
Wait, how do you pause?
Did you just pause in midair?
No.
Oh, you did.
But I just glitched.
Oh, oh, oh.
Ready?
Oh, look, you're floating in the air.
Okay, go.
Whee!
All right, so here we'll end, right?
Yeah, here's the end.
All right.
Fireworks!
No, Dad!
Oh!
You ran onto the pressure plates.
Watch.
That makes fireworks?
Now look up, look up!
Oh, man.
I have half a health left.
Don't get that in Skyrim, do you?
Oh, actually, you can get five.
Can you?
No.
All right, so we'll say thanks to everyone.
Yeah, please.
It was a great deal of fun, and I hope that you guys liked it, and let us know below.
Yeah, by the way, remember to subscribe if you want more, so up below.
Like, subscribe, and share, of course.
Thanks, everyone, so much.
I hope that it wasn't too twitchy for the experts, and... Oh, yeah, don't worry, guys.
