All Episodes
Previous Next
Oct. 7, 2015 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
36:16
3094 An Introduction to Sexual Market Value | Part 3
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hello, hello everybody.
Stefan Molyneux from Freedom Made Radio.
Time for part three of Sexual Market Value.
Hope you're doing well.
So, it's time to turn to the dudes.
Now, there are, of course, low-quality dudes.
And by low-quality, I don't mean useless or anything like that.
I just mean...
Don't have a lot of smarts, don't have a lot of ambition, don't have a lot of good environments, aren't willing to do the work necessary to get out.
And I'm a huge one, just sort of a preface for this, I'm a huge one for human potential.
Human potential should never, ever, ever be underestimated.
And, you know, like that guy who fell down the rock and had to cut his own arm off, managed to make his way home and all that, I mean, that's just fantastic stuff.
That's exactly what we want out of the planet as a whole, that there's this amazing, wonderful capacity for courage and resolution and, you know, people can just do the most amazing stuff.
But that's what they do at the end, right?
What they do at the beginning is they try to manipulate a situation so they don't have to do the difficult work, and that, eh, who can argue with it?
It makes good sense to me, right?
I mean, you can go and get a job, you know, shoveling shit out of a sewer, if that's what it takes for you to survive, and you'll go and do it.
But before that, you'll probably try to play the lottery and borrow money from other people and, you know, just try a variety of different strategies to get what you want.
And then eventually, you will pick up the shovel and put on the fisherman's boots and start shoveling.
But people will do just about anything to avoid the extremity of necessity.
You'll try and manipulate your way out of it first.
And the degree to which society allows manipulation prior to the growth that comes from desperation, the degree to which society allows manipulation is the degree to which it retards.
Human progress.
I don't mean as a species, I mean like individually.
Why did I go to therapy?
Because I had spent 14 months unable to sleep.
And it was that that drove me into therapy.
I'd been once before, but it wasn't even remotely valuable.
But anyway, it is an extremity what drives me to do what it is that I do.
Well, it's...
It's an acceptance that there is an extremity that is mine, and it seems mine alone, to take on.
And with your support and help, I think we're going to make a measurable difference in the future trajectory of the world, of society, of rationality.
But you have to get to the extremity, right?
How many people change before they hit rock bottom?
Well, some people do, but a lot of people don't.
And I've certainly been guilty of that, if guilty is the right phrase, myself.
So I myself was low quality relative to my potential before desperation and a lack of alternatives summoned me to grudging growth.
A rat in a corner will fight a mastiff.
So all of this stuff...
Is important in terms of sexual market value.
You can either try to improve your sexual market value to the point where you're going to get high quality people.
You can try to do that.
And I think that's a good idea and a good thing to do.
Or what you can do is you can try and manipulate your way into getting higher sexual market value.
I mean, these are your choices.
These are my choices.
And for me to get out of the ghetto of low-quality women required that I really commit myself To upping my value.
And I'd finally gotten to the point in life where I could not tell any more untruths to myself.
And in my defense, if that's at all important, in my defense, these were not untruths that I... I was willingly telling myself I didn't even know they were untruths.
But I got to the place where there were no more excuses, there was no more avoidance, and I had to grab life by the balls and bring it down.
And there was just no possibility of anything else at that point in my life.
So, I'm not sort of speaking entirely theoretically when it comes to what it is to come to a place where you can't manipulate or avoid anymore, where you have hit bottom, where you have hit the wall, and that's where things turn around and get better.
But prior to that, and of course, you know, if I'd had a culture or a society around me that had Not giving me the opportunity to weasel bag my way out of things.
And again, it wasn't something I was doing consciously.
It was really only in hindsight that I recognized and realized all of this.
But I'm sort of trying to pass that along.
That you can either up your...
Value in the free market, or you can go and join a union.
And again, you understand what I'm saying, right?
You can either try and manipulate your way into getting more value, which is usually something that involves deception or force, or you can, you know, just go and get more value.
And that's, I think, why this situational system is important.
So, that sort of having been...
So, I want to talk about low quality.
I'm not sure about eternally low quality or genetically low quality or anything like that.
Sort of mentioning anything to do with that.
All I'm talking about is...
People who have been enabled by society to attempt a manipulation in order to avoid an extremity.
And again, I fully sympathize with that.
I fully understand that.
And in a weird way, you know, it's not the fault of the people who are facing the potential extremity.
It really is the fault of the people who are enabling the manipulation.
Alright, so let's move on with the topic.
Thank you for your patience.
So how does a man...
Crank up his sexual market value.
Well, there's an old phrase or a song.
I love a man in uniform.
And there is sort of a perception that women love men in uniform.
So what does a uniform mean?
A uniform means that you are not bound by the free market.
You're not...
Restrained by the free market.
I know it seems odd to talk about restrained by the free market, but you really are.
You're restrained in rudeness, and you're restrained in incivility, and you're restrained in a wide variety of ways by not being in the free market.
You are not subject to the vagaries of the free market.
Remember, we talked in part one how women have to choose men.
Prior, Two men hitting their peak potential and therefore have to kind of roll the dice.
Well, you see, when a woman chooses a man in uniform, she is choosing a man whose peak earnings are guaranteed.
You know, bird in the hand, two in the bush, right?
He ain't gonna be a Steve Jobs, but he ain't gonna be a drunken homeless bum either.
And that Aspect of things.
Very, very important.
So, when a man is in uniform, that is a clear signal to the woman that, hey, I'm not going to get fired.
I'm going to get a steady paycheck.
I'm going to get benefits.
And you won't have to worry about retirement.
And that is the kind of stability, and this has been a driver of the military and the paramilitary and the police and so on throughout history, that these roles exist because they're all government workers who can't get fired and have stable income.
And, you know, if you ever want to end soldiers, the enforcer class, All you do is you don't pay any widow's benefits when the soldiers die.
You don't pay any benefits when the soldiers die, and next thing you know, women will not want to marry men who are soldiers, and...
Dot, dot, dot.
It won't happen for a while.
I'm not even saying it should, but it's the way to do it, is make it more hazardous.
So a man increases his sexual market value to the degree with which he shows stable income in the future based upon markers in the present.
Now, he can do that through having a strong and noble and reliable character, through being intelligent, through having a good education, through being well-read, you know, all of these wonderful things.
Having a good and secure family around all of these lovely things.
We'll indicate to a woman that here is a noble and stable and honorable and, you know, bloody, bloody, bloody.
You understand, I am sure.
But these kinds of men would be naturally somewhat in a minority, right?
Equality is not grass.
It is a little bit more rare.
The men who have the personal moral characteristics to show that they will be stable and reliable providers, well, they have their pick of women.
And most women are going to lose out.
You know, in the same way, like the hottest women, they have their pick of guys, and most guys are going to lose out.
And so what do the remainder do?
Do they say, well, I'm going to become more honorable and more noble and develop skills and get up early and become anything from a plumber to an expert busker to practice 12 hours a day writing songs and being in a band, whatever it's going to be.
Am I going to do all of the hard and sometimes brutal and often unpleasant work that is needed to actually...
Up my sexual market value and give people the kind of indicators that would mark the man as a successful person, a person with the greatest chance of success.
Now, another aspect of sexual market value, and I apologize for bringing this in a little bit late.
I'm going to circle back for a second.
Another part of sexual market value It's your friends and family.
And, sorry, in particular, your marriage market value.
Your sexual market value, everyone cocoons and sexes it up and so on, but for your marriage market value, anybody with any brains looks at a family.
The family that surrounds the man or the woman that they claim to love and says, okay, these are going to be my steadfast companions for the next half century or so, or 40 years or 30 years or whatever.
So what does this tell me?
You're revealed by the people around you.
Who you are is revealed by the people around you.
That's what I've said on this show from the very beginning.
I did not get a quality woman until...
I got rid of the low-quality people around me.
I did not get a quality woman until I got rid of the low-quality people around me.
That is a grim fact that I really need people to understand.
I don't think it's just me.
I think it's in general.
I did not get quality people around me until I got rid of the low-quality people around me.
You know, after offering them the option to improve their quality offering and so on, but that's the way it works.
Now, of course, that's contentious, right?
Everybody wants to have their cake and eat it too.
But if you are raised by and have around you low-quality people, then a high-quality person, even if they like you a lot, is not going to want to marry you because that means spending their life around low-quality people.
And for a high-quality person to spend his life or her life around low-quality people is literally like sliding down a steamy, slithered tin roof into the very depths of hell itself.
No amount of conversation with great sex is worth that compromise, that sacrifice.
And once you've seen quality in people, you can't go back.
You just can't go back.
So...
To move from low quality to high quality when it comes to marriage market value for a man means to ditch his low quality companions, to not be a constant social drinker, to stop smoking, to exercise, to To read, to learn, to challenge himself, to learn about more cultured things.
You know, for me to move into the business world, deal with major executives at major companies, it was a cultural shift.
I remember the first time one of my bosses in a professional gig took me to a cocktail party.
I don't know what the hell to say.
I didn't know what to say.
Way out of my league.
But you grit your teeth and you buckle down and you try and figure it out.
And eventually you just learn to relax and be yourself.
So, for a man to raise his marriage market value means digging in and rising above and, you know, doing all that Melanie Griffith working girl stuff.
Breaking out of the underclass and striving for more and better and all that kind of stuff.
So, that is a fairly important aspect of the challenge of raising your sexual market value.
Now, people don't want to do that.
I get it.
I didn't either.
It's very tough.
And it's a gamble, right?
I mean, if a man decides to ditch unsavory companions, whether family or friends, if a man decides to ditch unsavory low-rent companions to strike out for more quality people, well, he might end up neither fishing nor fowl, right?
He might end up with none of his original companions and unable to make it to his new companions.
He might end up, which was my great fear, of course, he might end up without a tribe.
And we are tribal animals.
We are tribal species.
To end up without a tribe is gene death and is highly discouraged, to say the least, right?
So, it's tough.
Leaving a low-rent clan feels like jumping out of a plane and hoping that an updraft, four seagulls, and a bale of hay will break your fall.
I'll land in a puddle.
I'll be fine.
So people, to raise their marriage market value, would rather do just about anything than really make the kind of change that will bring about a lot of social conflict, a lot of eye-rolling, a lot of, oh, I guess you're just too good for us now.
You know, that stupid passive-aggressive poor-keeping-the-poor-down crap.
What do you mean you want to stay home and read a book, man?
We're going to the bar.
Stop being such a nerd.
Relax.
You read last week, man.
Come on.
Sally will be there.
She broke up with Bob, you know.
She's been talking about you.
I think she's good to go.
She's DTF. You know, all that stuff.
So...
People would rather manipulate their way out of low marriage market value or sexual market value than take the necessary and very gene-death dangerous steps of dropping an unsavory clan in the hopes of getting to a new one.
So, I'm just sort of pointing that out.
So, when I say, well, women would rather vote for goodies than do the changes to up their sexual or marriage market value, I say this with some sympathy.
I mean, somebody who's addicted to drugs or cigarettes or food or...
Not caffeine, man.
Never caffeine.
Why?
Why do you ask?
Who's looking at me?
Turn around.
Well, they'll always want their next hit rather than quitting, right?
And it's the enablers in a lot of ways who make this so difficult, so...
So men want to slip on the old uniform and be told what to do, and that won't get them the top tier of women, but it makes them a lot more marriageable.
Because a woman looks at the uniform and sees stability and security and benefits and not getting fired and not the market dropping out and not getting laid off and...
At least as of yet, you know, they're maybe outsourcing their sexual relations to Japanese robots, but they're not outsourcing the military to China, right?
That's not about to happen.
It's not like a manufacturing job where you get outsourced.
Or even these days, I mean, even the old reliables are not so great, right?
I mean, in the old days, at least if you become a lawyer, you'll be doing all right.
But even now, lawyers are pounding the pavement looking for work.
So...
So yeah, men are going to want to join a uniform.
Now, if you don't feel like joining a uniform, or maybe that's not for you, well...
You can go and work for the government, of course, right?
And women do this as well, right?
I mean, huge numbers of government workers are women and they do it so they can be home with the kids and they also do it to raise their sexual market value because they come with stability, they can't get fired, they get lots of benefits, they get lots of time off, they get lots of vacation and it's unlikely their jobs are going to be outsourced to China, unlike the vast majority of the semi-private sector working class since, I guess, about the 1970s.
So, Get a government job, become a teacher, professor, tenure, whoa, tenure gets you top tier, top tier poon.
And, oh yes, you've got something furry in the top shelf.
Yes, or maybe it's not.
Brazil!
So, where you can avoid the market, where you can avoid the marketplace...
You raise your sexual and, in particular, your marriage market value.
Where you can avoid the marketplace for a lot of people, particularly those on the downside of the IQ bell curve, you raise your sexual and marriage market value.
Hugely.
And so, in many ways, if you want to sort of understand what drives the state from a gene or biological perspective, you know, what drives the state?
What makes it tick?
What makes it hum?
What makes it work?
It's not fundamentally money that's being transferred when you talk about income redistribution.
No, no, no, no.
We're talking about vagina redistribution, penis redistribution.
Because resources are sexuality.
Resources are only gathered in excess to what an individual needs for the purpose of raising children.
And so, all the resources over and above what a person needs to live are sex-generated and sex-related.
It's not the redistribution of wealth.
It's the redistribution of genetic potential, right?
It's the redistribution of...
It's the redistribution of...
Poon and pee-pee.
Right?
I mean, the honest politician would say something like...
I promise you a two number upgrade in your sexual market value.
I promise you a two and a half point upgrade in your marriage market value.
And for the women, we've got X. For the men, we've got Y. And that way you don't have to actually improve.
We'll give you the resources as if you'd improved.
And give me a vote.
Right, because imagine how good at your job you'd have to be to command a middle class plus salary for, you know, working three quarters of a day With lots of professional development days and two, two and a half months off in the summer.
Well, you'd have to be pretty special to get that, right?
So, let's just touch briefly on divorce, right?
So, divorce poses a grave difficulty in a free society.
And the grave difficulty in a free society is, just talk about women, and women initiate divorce, I think a little more than two-thirds of the time, so I talk mostly about women.
And of the remainder of the sort of one-third or so of men who initiate divorce, I wonder how many do it because the wife's been unfaithful, or she's lazy, or she's a neg, or messy, or whatever, a terrible mom.
So, anyway.
So...
In a free society, it's pretty tough to get divorced if you have kids.
Let's just talk about if there's kids around.
It's really tough to get divorced because your income goes down precipitously, right?
And because your income goes down precipitously, your children resent the hell out of you.
If, you know, mommy initiates the divorce, mom initiates the divorce, and next thing you know, They've gone from a three-bedroom house to a one-bedroom apartment and it's all mom's fault and the kids don't like mom because she blew up the family and they had to move.
They can't see their friends.
They don't have any resources.
Here's a library card.
Go have fun.
Actually, that was pretty cool.
But anyway.
And the other thing, too, is she's gone into catastrophically low sexual market value.
Her kids don't like her, and of course, in a free society, having your kids like you, that's pretty important, because you can't rely on the government to take care of you when you get old.
Free healthcare and pensions and stuff, you're kind of going to need your kids, right?
One of the things that bothers me about the state is the degree to which it lowers the requirement for parents to treat their children well.
And I say this from personal experience.
My mom treated me terribly, and the government has taken care of her for 30 years.
So, what are the negative repercussions?
Well, there really aren't any from a financial standpoint, and so it just reduces the incentive to treat your children well because you don't need them later on in life, as viscerally, emotionally and so on, but as viscerally.
And, you know, as communism has pointed out, financial incentives really matter.
So how do you solve this if you want to get divorced, which often is a mistake?
People who stay married, the majority of them after five years say, wow, I'm really glad I didn't get divorced, right?
So it's usually, you know, act in haste and repent at leisure, as they say.
So, a woman wants to get divorced, and if she looks at the practicalities of it, what does she see?
She says, okay, like in a free society, okay, I'm getting divorced.
And so, either I'm getting divorced because, A, my husband is a really terrible human being.
Just a terrible human being.
A monstrous drunk, he beats me, he hits the kids, he, you know, doesn't get out of bed all day.
Listen to Nickelback.
You name it.
It's more inhuman than...
Anyway, but...
Just kidding, Chad.
But...
That's what she's facing.
It's pretty bad.
It's pretty bad.
Because then everyone's going to realize that she married a guy who was a completely horrible human being.
Which shows that she has terrible judgment and that signals to men in the future that she is a really bad woman to get involved with because she's got terrible judgment.
She married and had children with a drunken, wastrel, layabout douchebag, right?
A horrible, horrible man.
Well...
That's going to kind of crank down her sexual market value, right?
Because if the man is that bad, then she can't share custody, she's got to seek restraining orders, it just becomes a big giant mess.
And anybody with any quality is going to look at that and say, now, if the guy is so terrible that he's not even providing or he's beating them up or whatever, then she's got to charge him, she's got to send him to jail, or she's got to get a restraining order and so on, so he's not going to want to give her any money.
So, her standard of income, her standard of living, is going to crash.
Now, of course, she can go and live with her mom, her friends, whatever.
There'll be people out there who'll want to help, and I'd certainly probably be one of them.
If a woman had kids around, a really violent guy, I'd help out.
But, um...
Her terrible judgment and...
Low quality is evident to all by a divorce when she claims she got divorced for really good reasons, right?
The better the reason for getting divorced, the worse the woman's judgment has been over the five or ten years or more that she knew the man until the present.
Dated, got engaged, got married, had children, had another child maybe, and then she's like, oh my god, he's horrible.
Okay, so you really are not very smart.
And look, I've been there.
Again, I'm not casting stones from some eternal paradise Palantir tower of infinite virtue, but I was low quality too, and I get it.
I get it.
But it's a broadcast, right?
It's a broadcast of low quality.
So, the better the reason for her getting divorced, the worse she looks to anyone with half a brain, right?
So that's not good, to say the least.
Now, maybe her husband isn't that bad.
Yeah, he's not that bad, you know.
He's a little lazy.
Sometimes it takes him a while to do the yard work, and he forgot to update the antivirus on my computer.
Clicked on a new David Beckham attachment.
Ugh, who hasn't?
Anyway.
So he's not that bad, but you've just decided to blow up your entire family anyway.
Well, uh, that's not really much better.
So you have a more congenial ex-husband, but you are clearly marked as blowing up a family based on some mild discontent.
Right?
Right?
I guess I just fell out of love.
Really, it just happened.
I guess I just got a sunburn.
I guess I just wandered blindfolded into traffic anyway.
So, the better your reasons for getting a divorce, the worse you look.
And the worse your reasons for getting a divorce, hey, the worse you look, right?
Because then you're blowing up a family and detaching children from their fathers and all that kind of stuff.
For what?
For what?
Not much of anything.
That is the reality of divorce.
And your kids aren't going to like you and...
Your sexual market value and your marriage market value goes into the toilet.
So what do you do?
Well, as I mentioned before, right?
You want to force the government to make the man hand over a lot of resources to make up for your catastrophic loss of sexual market value so that men will want to be in a relationship with you.
And, you know, I mean, I've sort of been using these terms, floating around a little bit, just to sort of clarify.
You know, now we're at the end of part three.
Why not clarify a little?
But the clarification is that sexual market value, like for a woman to get a guy to have sex with her, it's not that hard.
When she's young to middle-aged, you know, she has to crank up there.
It's not, well...
Certainly the men she wants to have sex with don't want to have sex with her anymore.
It's sort of the reverse of the teenage years.
A woman in her 40s is like a guy in his teenage years.
At least in a free society.
So yeah, she wants the government to get the men to hand her resources.
And she wants the government to provide to her the resources that a loving family, a loving husband and loving children should be providing her.
And, you know, why am I focusing so much on women?
Mommy issues.
No, it's because there is no redistribution of sexuality, right?
The ancient bargain is resources for sexual access.
It's not prostitution.
It's evolution.
Calling that prostitution is like calling sports war.
It's not.
It's the age-old bargain.
Now, this is where the supposed empathy of women comes up just a little shy, in my humble opinion.
Because the woman can force the government to redistribute the man's income to her But the man cannot force the state to redistribute his wife's sexual access to him.
Because, you see, when a woman forces the state to have her ex-husband give her resources, she is forcing him, in a very fundamental way, to continue to be married to her.
She is forcing that.
Because the provision of resources to a woman is the foundation of marriage.
It's why marriage exists.
Man gives women resources, women give men sex and being a mother and being a homemaker and all that kind of stuff.
And so, the woman wants to get rid of the man but keep his resources, which is the equivalent of having the police hold down your ex-girlfriend while you give her a booty call, right?
I mean, obviously the horror and the destruction of forced sexual access is in a different league, but fundamentally from a gene standpoint it's similar.
I'm not equating the two in terms of the moral crime, but what I am saying is that forced resource transfer from man to woman, which is alimony in particular.
Child support is a different issue.
We've talked about that before.
But the forced transfer of resources from man to woman is forcing the man to continue Even though he's not gaining any of the benefits of the marriage, such as a homemaker and a cook and sexual access and so on.
And again, it's not because women always have to be cooks and homemakers, it's just that women who are those things tend to get a lot more in terms of alimony.
When a woman goes to the court and has a man give her resources, forces the man to hand over resources, she is enhancing her own sexual market value And destroying his.
You know, I mean, how many top shelf women, top troll women want to date some broken-backed man who's dreading every phone call from a lawyer?
You know, like, that's not...
That's not hot.
I'm a guy, and I know that's not hot.
And, um...
So that is, um...
The financial rape of the man through the court system is brutal and is a way of collapsing, destroying the man's sexual market value while enhancing the woman's sexual market value.
And that's really what it is.
I mean, it certainly has something to do with money and vengeance.
But why is there such a drive towards all these things?
Because we have a very strong drive to do that which maintains or extends or expands our sexual market value.
That is foundational to us.
And from that standpoint, I hope that you can understand that when you are looking at society and you're looking at policies and politics and socialism and capitalism and free market and unions and welfare, all we're looking at is massive jockeying over fixed and finite resources.
We're looking at massive jockeying, using the state to grab resources Primarily and fundamentally to enhance sexual market value and marriage market value.
And once we understand that, then the presence of the state as a way of allowing people to avoid hitting rock bottom in sexual market value and taking the necessary changes to improve their lives and to be better people, to attract better people, well, it's going to take a little bit more than another libertarian conference to overthrow this vortex of genetic warfare.
Stefan Molyneux, Free Domain Radio.
Thank you so, so much for listening.
FreeDomainRadio.com slash donate.
Hey, help me enhance my sexual market value, even though I'll never be on the market again.
▲
Export Selection