2260 Philosophical Parenting - A Note from a Freedomain Radio Listener
Stefan Molyneux, host of Freedomain Radio, read the message from a listener about how best to practice and preach philosophical parenting.
Nov. 17, 2012 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
03:24
| 
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| A message from a Free Domain radio listener. | |
| So, I'm at work after hours plugging away at my PC, and a co-worker comes to my desk. | |
| She sees pictures of my son and asks if he's mine. | |
| Yes, I respond. | |
| Oh, he's so handsome! | |
| Is he well-behaved? | |
| I thought that it was an odd question, so I said, yes, he's very well-behaved. | |
| When I asked what she meant, she went on about the hells of raising her six-year-old. | |
| Mine is seven. | |
| She complains about how her child doesn't listen to her no matter how much she gets spanked, is constantly misbehaving, etc. | |
| At this point, I've had to ask, did it ever occur to you that spanking might be the problem? | |
| I ask this because for a lot of people, when discussing the behavior of other children, if they're out of control, the comment that the parents must not be spanking enough is always made. | |
| I ran into a similar situation a few months ago, went to the house of my wife's friend, and their little one was an absolute nightmare. | |
| He was combative, offensive, would not listen, and just completely out of control. | |
| This was in a Catholic home with plenty of corporal punishment. | |
| The parents were just perplexed at what they could possibly be doing wrong, but unable to consider the possibility that spanking was the issue. | |
| Anyway, I said to my co-worker, my son is at the top of his class. | |
| His reading is three grades ahead, and it's something he does on his own for enjoyment. | |
| His classmates look to him for help and as an example. | |
| He doesn't hit, he doesn't fight, he doesn't take. | |
| He is respectful of the property of others. | |
| If anything, he's a bit too hesitant to use or touch anything that is not his without express permission to do so. | |
| We can take him anywhere, from long international flights to doctor's visits to the movies, and while he will probably complain about being bored, he'll never go berserk or cause a problem. | |
| He's empathetic, compassionate, respectful. | |
| I woke up today and he had already brushed his teeth and taken a shower and gotten dressed for school completely on his own. | |
| I don't know, sometimes I think I take him for granted, or at least his behavior. | |
| My co-worker was shocked. | |
| And then I dropped the bomb on her. | |
| I never hit him. | |
| Ever. | |
| I never raise a hand to him or make him feel threatened. | |
| I don't even raise my voice. | |
| It has been a lot of work, taking the time to be actively engaged in his life and having to reason with him to help him understand the hows and whys of the world. | |
| But I think he's worth it. | |
| And if what you want is a child who behaves the way mine does, the last thing you should do is hit. | |
| I am not a scientist, and he is not an experiment, but anyone who has raised a child should see how they learn by copying what you do. | |
| They're like little copy machines, and they mimic behaviors with an amazing skill. | |
| So, if you treat your child with respect instead of aggression, you will get respect instead of aggression. | |
| I just wanted to share this and say thank you again to Stefan for opening my eyes. | |
| It really is true that if we want to achieve a peaceful, cooperative society, the place to start is with our children. |
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