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Aug. 1, 2006 - Freedomain Radio - Stefan Molyneux
46:33
354 Junkyard Dreams - An Deep Analysis

A deep analysis of a powerful dream

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Time Text
Good evening, everybody. Hope you're doing well.
It's Steph. Sorry, I got a little stuck there.
I just had to jam my head against the window.
We're fine. We're rebooting as we speak.
Thank you so much for tuning in and listening.
It is the 1st of August, 2006.
I handed in my resignation today.
Steph Bart's heading off the new pastures.
And we will be starting a new job, I guess, in a couple of weeks, which is very nice, very exciting.
Can't wait. So, we are going to do a dream today on this beautiful evening.
We're actually driving through unbelievably, unseasonably hot weather to Ottawa.
Christina's going to a conference, and I am tagging along like the kept man I dream of being.
And she's taking a little bit longer getting me where I need to be than we were hoping, but patience.
My brethren, patience. We will get there.
So, a kind reader, a kind listener, and poster, and reader, posted a dream which he was having some trouble interpreting and understanding.
Books of dreams, symbology, usually not that helpful in this particular kind of circumstance.
But I thought I would take a crack at it, and I don't have quite as much history as I did before.
That's not because of his fault, but mostly because of mine.
But I thought it would be worthwhile taking a crack at the dream and see if I can't come up with anything useful with a slight paucity of information.
He provided everything I asked for.
I just didn't get around to asking for as much as I wanted or could find useful.
But we'll take a stab and we'll see if it comes across as useful.
And I've had some comments that the dream analysis podcasts are good and for some reason people don't want...
So, this gentleman, we'll call him Red...
I am one of those people who rarely remembers their dreams at all.
One morning last week, I awoke from a dream that was very vivid and which I remembered with quite a lot of detail.
The images from the dream have stuck with me since then and returned to my thoughts frequently.
Like the guy who you analyzed your last dream, I am completely baffled by symbology.
Like him, I got a hold of a few books on dream interpretation and found them useless.
I wonder if Stefan, since he was a minor character in the dream, or anyone else here would like to take a stab at it.
To which I replied, minor character?
Minor character? Call my agent, I'll be in my trailer.
And then I said, sure, I'd be happy to have a look at it.
So this is the dream, and then I'll read a couple of back and forths we had to clarify it, and we'll see if it can make any sense.
This is Red's dream. The dream begins, and I am speaking with Stefan as we look down the slope of a large gully.
There is long yellow grass all over with a few trees here and there.
The junk in the yard consists of mostly nondescript large appliance-sized items, widely and uniformly spaced.
I have just been hired by Stefan to help manage the junkyard.
Stefan is pointing to an old electric stove a long distance away at the bottom of the gully and explaining that he would like to keep that particular stove to restore and donate to some kind of museum.
If the price is right, he will sell it complete, but he does not want to sell any parts from it.
No sooner does he tell me this than five figures appear at the stove and start to remove the clock and timer from the back panel.
Although the stove is so far from me that I can barely see it, I know just what the removed part looks like, and I'm thinking to myself that it looks exactly like the speedometer cluster from my dead uncle's van, which I haven't seen in about 30 years.
Stefan tells me to go talk to the people and ask them to put the part back.
So I start down the hill to meet them, and they start back up the hill and away from me towards the shack where the junk is sold.
After a long walk through the tall grass, I meet up with the people at the shack.
It's a middle-aged woman with four grown sons.
When I ask for the return of the part, the woman begins acting immaturely, tossing the part back and forth between three of her sons, playing keep away with me.
Finally, when I'm looking away, she manages to hide it somewhere and refuses to tell me where it is.
At this point, I become enraged with the woman and begin yelling and swearing at her until I find myself holding a wooden chair over my head, threatening to hit her with it.
Now, my rage turns quickly to embarrassment as I realize that everybody knows I'm not going to hit the lady with the chair.
Then I hear something and I look to my left and I see the youngest son in a corner crying.
He is 15 years old and has just been released after 5 years in prison.
I know this because I myself have recently spent 30 days in the same prison.
I drop the chair and rush over to the boy to comfort him.
It was then that my alarm clock went off and the dream ended.
Now, somebody commented, wow, wild dream, dude.
Is Stefan the only familiar face?
And Red said, yeah, pretty much.
The 15-year-old kid looked familiar in a vague kind of way.
I don't know if this is because the face is one I've seen maybe on TV, or if it was just part of the dream that the face was familiar to me.
The other three brothers may as well have been faceless, but I can still see the face of the mother, but do not recognize it.
I think the thing that struck me about this dream is the intensity of the emotion at the end.
I am typically under-emotional, and to be hit with intense anger, shame, sympathy, and quick succession was a bit of a shock to me.
And I commented, great dream, very powerful.
Can I ask for some info?
Do you have any emotional associations with junkyards, stoves, museums?
Can you tell me a bit more about your dead uncle and his van?
Can you give me a bit about your family and history?
I assume you have no father in the family.
30 days in prison, is that in the dream or in real life?
Like he said that he spent 30 days in prison recently.
Did anything significant happen to you when you were 10, 15, or 5 years ago?
What happened or happens in your family when you show that you love or value something?
So he said, well, the house I grew up in was kind of like a junkyard.
Also, when I was very small, maybe four or five, a cousin about my age was run over and killed by his father's garbage truck.
So that might be an association with junk.
I don't know.
And about his dead uncle and his van.
When I was a kid, we would take the ferry in summer to visit aunt's uncle's cousins in Victoria.
I didn't like my cousins much, so when my mother would go to visit her childless sister and her husband, I would beg to go with her.
Uncle Larry would take me with him when he wanted to escape the chattering ladies and would drive me around town in his van, running errands and chatting.
He was a white-haired old guy.
My favorite relative died when I was 11 or 12.
Now that I think of it, they had a pretty interesting old stove in their kitchen.
Can you give me a bit about your family and history?
He said, He said,
I've been racking my brain to think of an example of this from my childhood, but I can't.
I think maybe I learned early from older siblings' experience to just not go there.
Sentimentality was definitely always discouraged and or mocked.
If you're talking about material things, I just considered myself lucky that I was fed.
Nine kids on one factory workers' income, you know.
Anyway, and then this gentleman kindly gave me the permission to do the dream on air.
So let's dig in and we'll see what we can't come up with.
So let's have a look at this in general.
So the dream setup is quite specific.
I am the owner of a junkyard, and Red is somebody that I have now been hired to help manage the junkyard.
So, of course, a junkyard that he's got in a gully, and gully is also associated with depression, right?
A gully is a depression in the earth.
It's not quite as big as a crevasse or a cliff or a canyon or a chasm.
A gully is sort of more of a gentle depression, and this gentleman does say that he has under-emoting or under-emotional aspects to his nature.
Which may have some indication that at the bottom of his depression is all of this junk.
So this is a possibility.
I'm not going to hang my head on that one, but I think that's a possibility as to why it's a gully.
Everything in a dream is specific.
Everything in a dream is there for a reason.
Why is it a gully, not a hill?
You always have to ask these questions about everything in the dream.
Why is there yellow grass in the dream?
Well, I don't know about that because I don't know his mnemonic references or clues to yellow grass.
But it does indicate that it's summer.
Not winter. And he'd met his uncle in the summers, not in the winters.
So everything is sort of pretty specific in dreams.
So I would say the gully might be indicative that he is facing a shallow kind of depression, which often means that you're not feeling very much and your sleep is light, but you're not unable to get out of bed or facing some sort of catastrophic depression.
So a gully might indicate a shallow depression.
And down at the bottom of this gully, which I own, but he has just been hired to help manage...
There is large appliance-sized items, widely and uniformly spaced.
Now, this is actually...
I sort of went two ways on this.
One way that I went that's probably wrong, and another way that Christina suggested that is probably correct.
The way that I went that is probably wrong is that he posted this on a board.
Now, a lot of people on the Freedom Aid Radio boards have been talking about their histories, partly because I'm encouraging them to, and partly because they want to interrupt me whining about my history.
So... That's sort of one of the reasons they're doing that.
And, of course, on the board, things are widely and uniformly spaced, like when you view stuff.
So that's one possibility. Christina's possibility is that these things aren't piled together or totally jumbled.
These appliances that are in this junkyard are not just like they fell out of a plane and just sort of crashed in a heap or in a pile.
There already has been some organization that has been occurring before this person is hired to manage this junkyard.
And that may have something to do with, as I've been talking about, like me, Steph, as I've been talking about my own history, I have been talking about the principles that I have extracted from my own history and the value and use of That I've had or gotten out of examining my own history.
So the junkyard that I manage...
It's somewhat well organized, right?
So it's not a complete heap of gnarly, nothing, rusted, bent over, half in the mud, and so on.
So there's a widely and uniformly space.
It's already well organized.
Now I'm just asking him to help manage it.
So I think that indicates that there's some progress in the organization and understanding of history.
And I would say that maybe I'm demonstrating that in the podcast and in my posts on the Free Domain Radio board.
But it's not just completely random.
Now, in the next part of the dream, I'm pointing to an old electric stove a long distance away at the bottom of the gully.
So, a long distance away at the bottom of the gully probably means a long way in the past and at the root of depression.
At the root of a shallow kind of depression or a minor kind of depression.
Not minor, it's not quite the right word.
What is the word, sweetie? You know, like a shallow depression.
Dysthymia. Dysthymia, that's what I was thinking of.
Okay, see, it's not English, so I don't really know it.
So I'm pointing at this old electric stove a long distance away at the bottom of the gully, right?
Not near the bottom of the gully, not on the far side of the gully, right at the bottom of the gully, right?
So the gully is sort of centered on this electric stove.
And I'm explaining that I would like to keep that particular stove to restore and donate to some kind of museum.
Now, I've just hired Red as the manager of this junkyard.
So I'm not sort of saying this like, hey, by the by, I'm thinking of doing my basement, like just making conversation.
This is kind of like an instruction, right?
This is kind of like something that I want him to do as the guy who's now managing the junkyard that I own or that I created or built or whatever.
And so this is more than a suggestion.
This is something that he needs to do.
Now, if the price is right, I say, I will sell it complete But I don't want to sell any parts from it.
This is not insignificant.
It's a junkyard.
There is an old electric stove a long distance away, right at the bottom of the gully.
Right at the edge of the gully would be the new stuff.
If you think of when you create a junkyard, you get a square acre of field and you put the first junk in the middle.
And then as you get more junk, You move it in rings around.
It's like the rings around a tree, right?
Every time you get more junk, you put it around the stuff.
So this one right in the center is the oldest thing that I have.
So you would think, of course, just sort of logically, that if you have a junkyard and you have a piece of junk right in the center of it, that that is by far the least valuable piece of junk.
So what's right in the center of the junkyard was the first thing that I got.
I've never been able to move it out.
I've never been able to sell it.
I've never been able to do anything with it.
So you would logically think that the piece of junk that's been in the junkyard the longest is the least valuable.
But the dream is saying that quite the opposite is true.
Is this the thing that I'm telling you to deal with first?
The oldest thing that by all appearances is the least valuable, I'm telling you that it's so valuable that not only can you sell it, but I want to donate it to a museum.
That's quite remarkable when you think about it.
It's just an old stove. It's of such value that it is something that can be educational to other people.
And this is an amazing reversal and this is a wonderful kind of thing because although all logic would point to this stove being the least valuable thing, I'm telling this guy in the dream that it is the most valuable thing and that if he restores it and keeps it whole, which we'll get to in a second, it is of such great value that we're going to give it, we're going to donate it to a museum so that other people can go and learn about history and learn about the past, but only if it remains whole.
So, I'm telling him that this is the first thing that he needs to do.
So, I also say that it has to be complete.
No bits, no parts, no, it's got to be complete.
So, even if it looks like it's complete, that's not enough.
It has to actually be complete.
Now, the moment that I tell Red about this...
That he's got to go fix up this old stove that looks like it's worth nothing but it's actually incredibly valuable.
Five figures appear at the stove and start to remove the clock and timer from the back panel.
Right? Appear is a very interesting thing.
And I should have asked a little bit more about this.
Like, do they sort of rise up out of the ground like geysers?
Do they materialize like in Star Trek?
Do they fall from the sky and bungee cords?
Who knows? But the fact is that the moment that we identify this thing, which supposedly has no value, as having incredible value, five figures appear.
And that it has to be whole.
It has to be complete. Five figures appear at the stove and start to remove the clock and timer from the back panel.
Right? So if you think about this, the way that the stove looks in a museum...
It's going to be facing out.
The back panel is not going to be visible to other people, to the people sort of walking past and looking at it, right?
When you look at something in a museum, you don't get to see the back of it, right?
It's probably up against the wall, right?
That's where the stove would end up in a museum.
So really, it shouldn't matter if stuff's taken out of the back panel.
But I've given him specific instructions that it has to not just appear whole, but it actually has to be whole in order for it to have any kind of value.
That's also very important. Now, there's kind of like a psychic moment here, because although the stove is so far from him that he can barely see it, right?
This is another indication that it's very deep, it's very far in the past.
He knows just what the removed part looks like.
And he thinks, wow, that looks exactly like the speedometer cluster from my dead uncle's van, which I haven't seen.
In about 30 years.
And again, this is another indication that we're looking very far back in the past.
And I think this person is in his early 40s, right?
So this would be in about the time that he was 10 or 11 or 12.
That was the last time that he saw his dead uncle's van.
Now, a speedometer cluster, of course, in the old style of cars, it had a clock and a speedometer, right?
And, of course, included in that was the odometer, right?
How many kilometers or miles you traveled.
So we have time, we have distance, we have a lot of compressed metaphors in this odometer-speedometer cluster from a dead uncle's van.
Now, I see these people.
So in the dream, I'm still standing next to Red, and I see that five people have appeared and are disassembling the thing that I tell him he has to keep hold in order for it to have the kind of incredible and educational value that it can have.
Now, I see these people, but I don't do anything about it, because he's now the manager, right?
I hired him to be the manager, so he has to go and deal with it.
Now, it might be quite interesting to speculate on why I hired him, and then the very first thing that I tell him to do is to go deal with a theft, but there's a very good reason for that, which we'll get to in a few minutes.
So Red then starts down the hill to meet them, and they start back up the hill and away from me.
So they've disassembled the stove.
They've got the speedometer cluster or the timer and the clock from the back panel.
So they are immediately moving away from him, right?
So he's moving towards them to get this thing back, which I've instructed him to go and talk to them and get this back.
And they're immediately moving away from him.
So this is not a good sign. It's not a good sign at a very fundamental level.
And it's very important.
The dream could have them do anything, right?
The dream just had them appear out of nowhere.
The dream can have them do anything.
The dream can have them turn into vultures and fly away.
The dream can have them turn into ghosts.
It can have them vanish. It can beam them up.
It can do anything. It can have them run and attack.
It could have them run away at full tilt.
It could throw javelins.
A gaping chasm of fire could open up.
I'm sure you get the idea, but I'm going to labor the point.
But that's what I do. So the dream is having them move away at a proportional rate to which he is advancing upon them.
That's very important. It's very important.
They're keeping an equal distance.
So they're not running away.
But they're also not allowing him to get any closer.
If they ran away completely, then they would have such a gain on him that he wouldn't be able to catch up with them and the whole thing would be over.
If they didn't walk away at all, then he would catch up to them at the bottom of the gully, which the dream doesn't want.
The dream wants him to go through the gully and to come up on the other side.
So to go into his depression and come up on the other side.
So after a long walk through the tall grass, he meets up with the people at the shack where the junk is sold.
And it's a middle-aged woman with four grown sons.
So Red goes up to this and says, listen, you just took this pot from my stove, and my boss just said I've got to put it back together, so I'd appreciate it if you would give...
The pot back. Now, the interesting thing is they don't attack him.
They don't run away. They don't deny that they took it or anything like that.
They don't bribe him again.
They could do anything. What they do is they begin acting in an immature fashion.
They're tossing the pot back and forth between the three of her sons and this mother, right?
So, originally we had, if I remember rightly, we had four sons and now one son is missing.
So as he gets closer to this family, one of the children goes missing because now three of her sons and the mother are playing keep-away.
So they're like that monkey in the middle from hell where you're tossing stuff back and forth.
And Red, because he says, finally, when I'm looking away, she manages to hide at someone and refuses to tell me where it is.
So he's approaching these people, as I've instructed him to, he's reasoning with them, he's telling them what he needs, and they begin to torment him, to put him in an impossible situation.
So I'm saying, you need to keep this whole, this is the most valuable thing in the whole junkyard, it's so valuable, that we're either going to sell it or donate it to a museum.
And so he has to go and get this part.
So he's got a have to and he's got a can't possibly.
So he has to get this part, but the way that these people are behaving, he can't possibly get this part.
So he's in an impossible situation, which is good.
I mean, believe it or not, this is progress in life when you start dealing with this sort of stuff.
And we'll go into sort of what this means in a minute or two.
Now finally, when he's looking away, so this game of keep away or monkey in the middle goes on for quite some time, and finally when he's looking away, the mother manages to hide it somewhere and doesn't tell him where it is, right?
So now he's in a completely impossible situation.
He's got to get this pot, got to restore the stove.
His mother is now hidden it somewhere and flat out refuses to tell him where it is.
So he's no possibility of getting it.
Now at this point, he hits the rage part of the dream.
So he becomes enraged with the woman, yelling and swearing at her, finds himself holding a wooden chair over his head and threatening to hit her with it, right?
So this is the murderous rage impulse that has been provoked within him by the collision.
Of the have to and the can't, right?
Because logically, if this was your real life, it's always important to compare dreams to your real life so that you understand what the dream is trying to tell you.
Because if the dream was simply reproducing your real life, there would be no point having the dream because you already have your real life, right?
So the dream is trying to tell you something you're not getting in your real life.
So if I was in his position, right?
I don't want to take up too many people in the dreams, but I just felt my part was too small.
I'd like to expand upon it a bit.
So if I was the junkyard plus the stove...
So if I was in this guy's position and somebody had said, go, Steph, go manage this junkyard and get this pot, and these people ran away and then hit it and this and that, I'd just say, you know, I'm going to call the cops or I'm not going to deal with this.
I'd just go back to my boss and say, sorry, boss, these guys just ran away with it and then they wouldn't give it to me and then they hit it, so I'm not going to do anything.
I certainly wouldn't pick up a chair and threaten to hit people with it.
An old piece from a stove that's been sitting in a junkyard for God knows how long, probably about 30 years, is not worth pounding someone over the head for, in my humble opinion.
So obviously we know we're not dealing with a junkyard, we're dealing with family issues, because it's getting to be this level of escalation.
And so he has been provoked into rage by the incredible sadism and hostility and maddening kind of behavior of his family because they stole the pot to torture him.
This is an important thing to understand.
They stole the pot from this stove to torture him.
Because they only materialized and stole it when I said to him, this is valuable.
The moment I said, this is valuable, we want to restore it, we want to get this thing out and get it to a museum, that's when they appeared and stole it.
So the moment he wanted something, the moment he had a desire, the moment he had a need, the moment he had a preference...
His family appeared and took whatever he wanted away from him.
And now they're torturing him.
See, they're not running away.
This is very important. They're not running away.
They're not making a big getaway.
They're not sacrificing one person in a fistfight where the rest of them go sprinting over the hills.
They're hanging around and torturing him with it.
So they only took this, not because they want it, but because they wanted him not to have it.
It's a very important thing.
This is a family dynamic.
Of course, we're talking about the family here.
He comes from eight or nine kids.
It doesn't seem beyond the stretch of the imagination that a couple of those kids are brothers.
This is why I asked him about preference.
The moment that he expresses a preference, I want this stove to restore, which he's getting from me.
It's through the podcast.
The moment that he has this preference, his family takes something from him and tortures him, and they're taking it from him in order to torture him, not because they want it.
This is a kind of real hostility.
It's a passive-aggressive and becoming outwardly sadistic kind of real hostility that he's facing.
That hostility then provokes him to murderous rage, where he's threatening to hit a middle-aged woman with a wooden chair.
And that's pretty important as well.
So he's been provoked now to murderous rage.
And then his rage quickly turns to embarrassment.
He realizes that everybody knows he's not going to hit the middle-aged woman with the chair.
So he hits a maddening peak of rage because things are being taken from him only because he wants them.
And then when he realizes...
That there's nothing that he can do in this situation, right?
So the first thing he goes and tries to talk to them...
This is his fourth strategy.
I guess it's his fifth strategy.
The first strategy is to follow them.
Then the next strategy is to talk to them.
And then the next strategy is that they play this monkey in the middle.
Then the next strategy is his mother hides it, this part.
And now the fifth strategy is that he's in a state of murderous rage and is, I guess, pretending that he's going to or he's actually this angry.
He's yelling and swearing at this woman.
So he's had a constant escalation of impossible situations.
He's got to get this part, and now he's just not able to do it.
Now, he's right now at the core of the impossible situation, right?
Families of origin that are corrupt, in other words, pretty much everyone's family of origin, there's nothing more that corrupt people love to do than to put you in impossible situations where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, because that destroys your true self.
It totally feeds the false self.
It destroys your capacity to reason.
It destroys your capacity for win-win negotiations, for love, for affection, for joy.
All of these maddening situations that we find ourselves in these dreams are all rooted in the passive aggression and sadism of our families of origin.
So he reaches a climax of murderous rage in this dream, and then he realizes that he's absolutely run out of things to do.
He's got no other options.
He's tried reasoning. He's tried grabbing.
Now he's hidden it. He's tried screaming.
He's tried swearing. He's tried holding a chair over this woman to get her to reveal where this part has gone.
And now he's out of strategies.
Now, once he realizes that the situation is impossible, that there's absolutely nothing that he can do in order to be able to get this part, then He gets hit with empathy.
Then he hears a sound, looks to his left, and sees the youngest son in a corner crying.
This son is 15 years old, just been released from five years in prison.
He knows this because he himself had recently spent 30 days in the same prison in the dream.
Drops the chair, rushes over to the boy to comfort him.
Beautiful, beautiful end of the dream.
I think it's the end of the dream.
It's hard to tell because an alarm clock woke him, but the unconscious has a very strong sense of time.
And so it's not surprising that the dream ended just as the alarm clock went off.
The unconscious probably timed it that way so that he would really vividly remember the dream, right?
So this is not inconsequential.
I don't view the dream as being cut off.
In fact, I view it as having been timed perfectly to coincide so that he would remember it because you have a dream earlier in the evening.
It's tough to remember this stuff.
So let me tell you just because this guy's unconscious is way ahead of what I'm talking about, but I sort of might as well mention it here just so this dream sort of makes sense.
Why is it that I'm telling you to go and talk to your family?
This is what I'm saying to this guy.
Go talk to these people who have taken something essential from you.
Why is it that I'm going to tell you to talk to your family?
Is it because I think that things are going to work out with your family?
Of course not. Is it because I think that it's very important that you be tortured and get into these impossible, horrible situations and negative fights with your family?
Of course not. I don't want that for you either.
What I do want for you is freedom.
What I have committed to spend the majority of my free time energies doing is to try and help as much as I can nudge forward the cause of freedom in the world because that's how the world is to become more peaceful for my children to be and so on.
And so the reason that I want you to go and talk to your families is so that you remember.
The reason that I want you to go and talk to your families is so that you can remember.
And so that you can re-experience what it was like having a need around your family.
Having a desire around your family.
Because what we do in our families when we have these types of families, and most of us do, what we do with our families is we simply become inert and depressed or irritable and distant or angry and bitter or whatever.
But we become heavily shielded, heavily coated in false self-scar tissue and we give up vulnerability.
We give up having needs around our families because needs around these kinds of sadistic or cruel personalities, a need is It's a big, red, flashing neon sign saying, poke me with a stick, stab me with a spoon, punch me here, here's my funny bone and my charlie horse, go for it and make me stagger around.
Whenever you have a need around sadists, We're good to go.
The fact that he can't remember is kind of important, but the fact that he says any kind of sentimentality was heavily scorned by his family is very important.
So what happens to this guy?
Well, I say, go back and get this thing from your past, which is very valuable.
And we'll get into why the uncle shows up in a few minutes.
Go back into your past.
This thing which you think is the least valuable is actually the most valuable.
Your history, your early experiences, where you got stuck, where you got frozen, where you got pounded down, where you got humiliated, where you got beaten down in one form or another, where you got shamed, where your anger, where your needs all crested and pounded uselessly against your parents' indifference like a wave against a brick wall.
Go back there. That's the most valuable thing that you've got is your early experiences, because you don't remember anymore what it was like, which is why you still spend time with these idiots or still have them at all in your life, or these cruel people.
So I'm saying go right back to the center of your depression, go right back to the center of your history, go back to the earliest piece of quote junk that you have, which is your own experiences, and it's not junk.
It's the most important thing that you have.
And we're either going to sell it or it's going to be coming out as something which is going to instruct other people about the past.
We're going to put it in a museum.
A museum. Because that's what I've done with my history.
This is what Free Domain Radio is to a small degree.
I've exhumed my past and I've said, this is the very important stuff in life.
This is the foundation of your adult life.
As Wordsworth said, the child is the father of the man.
So I'm saying going back to your earliest experiences, which you don't recall anymore, which you can't recall because they were incredibly frustrating, incredibly painful.
When you were going through the terrible twos, when you were going through your three years old, through your four years old, through your five years old, you had an incredible amount of frustration and rejection because your parents as false self entities themselves could not handle And we're actively opposed to and felt that they had to destroy, for whatever reasons we want to ascribe to it, your true self.
And that means putting you in impossible situation after impossible situation after impossible situation.
Provoking you to rage and then mocking you.
Provoking you to fear and then mocking you.
Provoking the strongest feelings that you can have and then crushing and despising those feelings because of their own insecurities and hatreds of authenticity and truth.
So these are the experiences that you have to go back and re-experience in order to get free, because this is what keeps you trapped in corrupt relationships as an adult, is not remembering, not remembering, not re-experiencing what happened to you as a child.
So I'm saying, go back and talk to your parents, because you're going to solve anything?
No. Because you need to remember what happened to you.
And the only way to remember what happened to you, the only way to get out of this foggy cage, the manhole at the center of the cage that lets you out, is re-experiencing humiliation.
And it's not something that I want you to go through because I'm sadistic.
It's not something that I wish you had to go through.
I would rather you didn't have to go through it.
But what you need to go back to with your family is to sit down with them and you need to say to them, With naked need in your heart, if not in your face, mom, dad, brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, whoever, I need something.
I need answers.
I need clarity.
I need explanations. I need reasons.
I need my history.
I need the truth.
I need myself back.
And you guys have the information that's going to give it to me.
So you go back with naked need and you talk to your family and you see what happens.
And they will withhold, and they will avoid, and they will deny, and they will withdraw, and they will get angry, and they will reject, and they will scorn, and they will humiliate, and they will dodge, and they will smile, and they will tell you you're mistaken.
They will tell you it was a long time ago.
They will tell you they did the best that they could.
They will tell you that this is how they were raised.
They will tell you every single...
You could write 5,000 volumes and never come up with all the excuses that people can come up with about what they did in the past.
So, what's happening in this dream is that Red is going back in time, back through his depression, back to...
And he has a need in the face of his family.
He has a need.
I need this pot back.
Steph told me to go get this pot because it's very valuable.
So, it's not my desires that he's trying to fulfill here.
He is now the manager. He is now the manager of this junkyard.
So, it's his desire for the pot that's now taking over.
I'm not the one telling him, go back and get this part, or I'm going to kill you.
Go back and get this part, or I'm going to flay you alive, or whatever.
Or even fire you. Yeah, thanks.
Christine is driving. Which is why I'm able to do this with a good amount of clarity.
Anyway. I'm not even saying I'm going to fire you.
I'm just saying go talk to them and get it back.
Which is all that I am saying.
I'm not saying to you, you must now go and record your conversations with your parents or I'm never going to let you listen to free domain radio again.
Nothing like that. I mean, you're beholden to me to no degree.
So this need that he has to get this part back far supersedes anything that I'm saying.
And that's exactly the case is what's happening with free domain radio.
That I'm saying to people, go back to your parents and ask them for something.
Go back to your parents with a need.
Go back to your parents with a vulnerability.
And you will find that as you do that, a huge number of emotions will come up for you.
Because this is what we bury.
This is what we refuse to re-experience.
This is what we're programmed to not re-experience.
This is what we're not allowed to know that we don't remember.
How's that for a whole bunch of convoluted negatives?
I think you get the idea.
I don't think I need more examples. So he goes back and he wants something and he is mocked and he's excluded and he's lied to and he's given that smoking kind of, oh, I guess I just hit it somewhere.
Now I can't remember where it is or whatever is going on in the dream.
I don't have all those details. But it's clear that he has a need that he is being mocked and rejected and humiliated for because they're also not saying no.
They're just toying with him, keeping things from him.
And this drives him to a frenzy because this is, of course, what happened when we were very young with our families.
When we met up against that fundamental coldness and indifference and dominance and need to humiliate and need to control and need to bully and need to diminish.
When we came up against that when we were 2, 3, 4, 5 years old or even earlier, we found rage.
Rage was evoked or provoked or grew within us entirely correctly, entirely in a healthy manner.
Rage is the last gasp.
And you need to get there with your family.
I'm not saying you need to be abusive.
I mean, I certainly would suggest that you don't be abusive in any way, shape, or form.
So this guy gets to the point he's holding a chair over this woman's head, and then he knows.
He knows that's his last.
Because he's not them, right?
They would do it. But he won't.
And they know that he won't.
They're counting that he won't.
Now, the moment he reaches the end of his impossible situation, the moment he gets that there's nothing else that he can do with regards to his family to get anything that he wants from them, the moment that he really, really gets that, he's got the chair, he's holding it over this mother's head, and he's going to smash it down And he knows that he can't, and they know that he can't.
That's it. There's nothing else he can do.
Is there anything more dramatic than he can do?
Is he going to hold his breath and stamp his feet?
Of course not. There's nothing more dramatic than threatening to kill someone or threatening to seriously harm them by hitting them over the head with a chair.
That's it. That's the last card he's got to play.
And this is something we all experienced when we were kids.
We begged.
We begged for people to understand.
We begged for people to listen to us.
We begged for people to have sympathy for us.
We begged to be visible.
We begged to have any kind of purchase on other people's opinions.
We begged to have any kind of respect, any kind of affection that was genuine.
And we got nothing. And then we would get angry.
We would get frustrated. We went through all of those titanic and base-level emotions, which are all perfectly healthy and got us perfectly nowhere.
So once he gets to the end of that replaying of frustration that he had with his family very early on, what happens?
Well, he reaches empathy.
He reaches empathy with a 15-year-old who's just spent five years in prison.
Now, five years in prison, this is also precise.
Why not four years? Why not twelve light years, right?
Well, because it's distance. But why only five years?
Well, there are two significant dates that he gives, which are five years apart.
One he gives explicitly, the other one he gives implicitly.
So I said to him, what happened in your past that have to do with the number five?
And he says, well, when I was 15, I began to lose my religion.
And he also says that I last saw my uncle, who I liked, right?
White-haired guy, took him around, chatted with him, right?
Obviously a very nice guy, and it's amazing.
Isn't it amazing how these ghosts, 30 years dead, can arise in our minds and give us comfort?
It's wonderful. This is why it's so important.
Every little thing that you can do, especially for children or for teenagers, every little thing that you can do can be a night and day difference, right?
It could be that the only reason that this guy is not like the rest of his family is because of that kindly old white-haired man who took him around in a van.
It could be that, and they may have talked about nothing the whole time, they may have talked about the Dodgers.
It's in Canada, so they talked about, I don't know, the Blue Jays or the CFL or something.
They may have talked about the weather.
It doesn't matter. The fact is that he had someone around who enjoyed his company, who he liked chatting with, and that is all the difference in the world.
It's incredible what a tiny, tiny little thing can make the difference between somebody who grows up like these other people, cruel and vicious and mean and sadistic, and somebody who grows up with the capacity to have this kind of dream and to awake from it emotionally moved and ready to move on.
So, he says that his uncle died 30 years ago.
He's in his early 40s.
He said he last saw his uncle when he was 11 or 12.
His uncle died, sorry, when he was 11 or 12.
So, I've got to assume that he didn't see his uncle a week or two before his uncle died, and it was a summer-long trip that occurred, so it probably was a year to 18 months or possibly two years before his uncle died that he last saw him, which would leave him at around the age of 10.
And then, between the ages of 10 and 15, between the ages that he last saw a benevolent and well-loved, the only benevolent and well-loved family member that he talks about, and specifically identifies as that, the only one, the last time he sees that, he's around 10. Around the age of 15, he starts losing his religion.
So in that gap between the last kindly relative and giving up on the ghost in the sky, five years in prison.
So this is very specific.
He's just spent five years in prison.
He got out when he was 15.
Locked in prison when he last had a benevolent relative around.
Got out when he gave up on the great scary ghost in the sky.
So again, I don't really know what the 30 days is.
I don't have any particularly strong understanding of that.
It could be that 30 days ago he listened to a podcast that got all this stuff in motion.
It could be that he saw a movie.
I mean, maybe he can let us know.
And also he doesn't say how long ago.
It was that he got out of this dream prison.
But this is a very, very important thing to understand.
This dream is way ahead of me in terms of what it is that I'm communicating to you.
This is why I say that any of the brilliance that you get out of these podcasts is entirely yours.
It's entirely yours.
Any of the things that you find gripping or fascinating or deep or wonderful about these podcasts is not me.
It's entirely you.
This guy has taken some comments that I've made in podcasts, and he has gone about a million light years further than anything that I've communicated.
So now I have to play catch-up in terms of getting you guys caught up with what's really going on here, which is that I'm telling you to go talk to your family so that you can re-experience the humiliation, so that you can free yourself from corruption, and that you need to get into these impossible situations with your family, and that you know that's exactly what I'm doing, because that's why it's so scary to do it.
So this guy is way, way ahead of me.
And that's fantastic.
This just only goes to show that we know everything all the time.
So these kinds of dreams are incredibly powerful.
He knows exactly what is required, that he needs to go and re-experience all of the impossible, horrible, humiliating situations that occurred with his family.
So that he can re-experience the empathy that occurred from being rejected.
Once you experience that empathy, you denormalize what happened to you.
It no longer seems normal.
It no longer seems, well, I can't talk about that stuff because that sissy stuff or I can't talk about that stuff because it's sentimental and I'd be a pussy or something like that.
You denormalize it and you begin to reactivate your soul.
You begin to reactivate your deep emotional centers, which is what makes life so rich and so wonderful and so worth living and gives you the capacity for love and joy and integrity.
And all of that and free will.
No, I'm just kidding. I'm not even going to get into that.
I just thought I'd throw that in for funsies.
But that is what you need to go back and reactivate.
But in order to go back, in order to reactivate it, you have to go back prior to the trauma, re-experience it so you can denormalize it and set yourself free.
All right. Well, listen, keep the dreams coming.
They're fascinating, they're powerful, and they are absolutely trying to help you, just so that you get a sense of how much genius you have locked up within your nighttime self, and I'm sure many of you with your daytime self as well.
Honor and respect your dreams.
Don't take anything within a dream for granted.
Really look deep within yourself to try and figure out what it's trying to tell you, because they are the road forward.
They are the road back to your whole self and your soul, and they are how...
There are the levers by which we're going to move the species forward to the next plateau of being, which is hopefully where we can get to relatively quickly as long as people keep donating.
No, I'm kidding. Oh, it's also interesting, it's the last thing I mentioned, that he talks about donating this.
Of course, I take donations, right?
So this is probably not inconsequential as far as that goes with the stove, that it gets donated.
And again, you could literally spend eight hours with this person talking about this dream and continue to get more, but I just wanted to get the major stuff that I feel is most reproducible for others.
So thank you so much for listening.
As always, I really, really appreciate it.
Thank you for the kind donations that I received today.
Thank you for the fairly large number of listeners who've gone and filled out the listener surveys.
I put some of the comments on the message board.
And hopefully within the next couple of days, we've got a nice surprise for the message boarders.
We've had some board members working very hard on an upgrade that I think is going to be very, very cool for you.
And I will be podcasting inconsistently over the next two days as I'm going up with Christine to do a conference.
And I'm not scheduled to speak, but I'm going to try.
So it really depends on their security.
You might read about it in the papers.
Thank you so much for listening. Look forward to donations.
More listener surveys are always valuable.
They are going to help me get some possible new outlets.
And thank you again for listening.
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