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April 6, 2010 - Skeptoid
05:52
Skeptoid #200: Buy It!

Don't blindly turn to science when you need answers - instead, seek out those who want to sell you something. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Transcriber: nvidia/parakeet-tdt-0.6b-v2, sat-12l-sm, and large-v3-turbo
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Time Text
Snake Oil Sales Pitch 00:04:32
Another 50th episodes means another lavish musical.
Today we have, well, I'm not even sure what to call it.
It's something of a mishmash of every advertisement you've ever heard for every snake oil product ever made.
It's also quite danceable.
And it's up next on Skeptoid.
A quick reminder for everyone.
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You're listening to Skeptoid.
I'm Brian Dunning from Skeptoid.com.
So the other day I wasn't feeling too great, and I'm enough of a skeptic that I don't blindly go to a medical doctor to see what big pharma wants to foist onto me.
I'm smart enough to turn to the back pages of magazines and late-night infomercials to get real science information.
Here are a few things one trusted spokesman told me.
Living in this modern world, we're always playing dice.
Eating breathing toxins, it is never very nice.
Luckily, enlightened ones have stepped up to the plate.
We've got products you can buy to save you from this fate.
Take a pill or soak your feet.
Rub this on your skin.
Don't go to a specialist or you'll be taken in.
We offer easy payments and millions can't be wrong.
You know it works because it was invented by a mom.
Buy it, buy it, and you'll save a tree.
Buy it, buy it because it's chemical-free.
Buy it for yourself or for a friend.
Buy it, buy it, doctors recommend.
One thing that is certain is that science minds are closed.
If we listen to them, we'll all be hosed.
Oprah says that you should treat your body, mind, and soul.
You're not the disease, you're a person who is whole.
Our products burn your fat away with space technology.
And best of all, we offer an exclusive guarantee.
Quantum physics baffles all the scientists, it appears.
Chinese have known these secrets for 100,000 years.
Celebrity endorsements prove it scientifically.
If it wasn't true, we couldn't say it on TV.
Buy it!
Buy it if your name is friend.
Buy it!
Buy it even if you're dead.
Buy it!
Buy it!
Buy it straight away!
Buy it!
Buy it if you're straight or gay.
The body's all organic, and so what it really needs is for you to buy and eat these old dry weeds.
Call today, we have our operators standing by.
100% natural, you can detoxify.
Supplies are strictly limited, so hurry, don't be slow.
Your credit card's the key to what they don't want you to know.
Buy it, buy it, or else it's a sin.
Buy it, buy it, or the terrorists win.
Buy it!
Whether you're a girl or God, buy it!
Buy it, or God will cry!
Life without these products, well, it's certain to be rough.
The only way to save yourself is buy more stuff.
So I got out my card and made a few purchases.
Now I'm not only on the path to healing, I'm also free of the stain of big toxins and those giant corporations who are only interested in profits.
I chose the pure path, and I've shown that I can't be taken advantage of.
The Sin of Buying Stuff 00:01:16
You're listening to Skeptoid.
I'm Brian Dunning from skeptoid.com.
Hello, everyone.
This is Adrian Hill from Skookum Studios in Calgary, Canada, the land of maple syrup and mousse.
And I'm here to ask you to consider becoming a premium member of Skeptoid for as little as five US dollars per month.
And that's only the cost of a couple of Tim Horton's double-doubles.
And that's Canadian for coffee with double cream and sugar.
Why support Skeptoid?
If you are like me and don't like ads, but like extended versions of each episode, Premium is for you.
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Remember that skepticism is the best medicine.
Next to giggling, of course.
Until next time, this is Adrian Hill.
From PRX.
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