Skeptoid - Skeptoid #200: Buy It!
Aired: 2010-04-06
Duration: 05:52


=== Snake Oil Sales Pitch (04:32) ===

[00:00:03]  Another 50th episodes means another lavish musical.
[00:00:07]  Today we have, well, I'm not even sure what to call it.
[00:00:10]  It's something of a mishmash of every advertisement you've ever heard for every snake oil product ever made.
[00:00:16]  It's also quite danceable.
[00:00:19]  And it's up next on Skeptoid.
[00:00:27]  A quick reminder for everyone.
[00:00:29]  You're listening to Skeptoid, revealing the true science and true history behind urban legends every week since 2006.
[00:00:38]  With over a thousand episodes, we're celebrating 20 years of keeping it focused and keeping it brief.
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[00:01:27]  You're listening to Skeptoid.
[00:01:28]  I'm Brian Dunning from Skeptoid.com.
[00:01:32]  So the other day I wasn't feeling too great, and I'm enough of a skeptic that I don't blindly go to a medical doctor to see what big pharma wants to foist onto me.
[00:01:41]  I'm smart enough to turn to the back pages of magazines and late-night infomercials to get real science information.
[00:01:50]  Here are a few things one trusted spokesman told me.
[00:01:55]  Living in this modern world, we're always playing dice.
[00:01:58]  Eating breathing toxins, it is never very nice.
[00:02:01]  Luckily, enlightened ones have stepped up to the plate.
[00:02:04]  We've got products you can buy to save you from this fate.
[00:02:08]  Take a pill or soak your feet.
[00:02:09]  Rub this on your skin.
[00:02:11]  Don't go to a specialist or you'll be taken in.
[00:02:14]  We offer easy payments and millions can't be wrong.
[00:02:17]  You know it works because it was invented by a mom.
[00:02:20]  Buy it, buy it, and you'll save a tree.
[00:02:24]  Buy it, buy it because it's chemical-free.
[00:02:27]  Buy it for yourself or for a friend.
[00:02:30]  Buy it, buy it, doctors recommend.
[00:02:33]  One thing that is certain is that science minds are closed.
[00:02:37]  If we listen to them, we'll all be hosed.
[00:02:40]  Oprah says that you should treat your body, mind, and soul.
[00:02:43]  You're not the disease, you're a person who is whole.
[00:02:46]  Our products burn your fat away with space technology.
[00:02:49]  And best of all, we offer an exclusive guarantee.
[00:02:52]  Quantum physics baffles all the scientists, it appears.
[00:02:56]  Chinese have known these secrets for 100,000 years.
[00:02:59]  Celebrity endorsements prove it scientifically.
[00:03:02]  If it wasn't true, we couldn't say it on TV.
[00:03:05]  Buy it!
[00:03:06]  Buy it if your name is friend.
[00:03:08]  Buy it!
[00:03:09]  Buy it even if you're dead.
[00:03:12]  Buy it!
[00:03:12]  Buy it!
[00:03:13]  Buy it straight away!
[00:03:15]  Buy it!
[00:03:16]  Buy it if you're straight or gay.
[00:03:18]  The body's all organic, and so what it really needs is for you to buy and eat these old dry weeds.
[00:03:37]  Call today, we have our operators standing by.
[00:03:40]  100% natural, you can detoxify.
[00:03:43]  Supplies are strictly limited, so hurry, don't be slow.
[00:03:47]  Your credit card's the key to what they don't want you to know.
[00:03:50]  Buy it, buy it, or else it's a sin.
[00:03:53]  Buy it, buy it, or the terrorists win.
[00:03:57]  Buy it!
[00:03:57]  Whether you're a girl or God, buy it!
[00:04:00]  Buy it, or God will cry!
[00:04:03]  Life without these products, well, it's certain to be rough.
[00:04:06]  The only way to save yourself is buy more stuff.
[00:04:09]  So I got out my card and made a few purchases.
[00:04:12]  Now I'm not only on the path to healing, I'm also free of the stain of big toxins and those giant corporations who are only interested in profits.
[00:04:24]  I chose the pure path, and I've shown that I can't be taken advantage of.

=== The Sin of Buying Stuff (01:16) ===

[00:04:35]  You're listening to Skeptoid.
[00:04:37]  I'm Brian Dunning from skeptoid.com.
[00:04:45]  Hello, everyone.
[00:04:46]  This is Adrian Hill from Skookum Studios in Calgary, Canada, the land of maple syrup and mousse.
[00:04:55]  And I'm here to ask you to consider becoming a premium member of Skeptoid for as little as five US dollars per month.
[00:05:03]  And that's only the cost of a couple of Tim Horton's double-doubles.
[00:05:08]  And that's Canadian for coffee with double cream and sugar.
[00:05:12]  Why support Skeptoid?
[00:05:14]  If you are like me and don't like ads, but like extended versions of each episode, Premium is for you.
[00:05:21]  If you want to support a worthwhile nonprofit that combats pseudoscience, promotes critical thinking, and provides free access to teachers to use the podcast in the classroom via the Teacher's Toolkit, then sign up today.
[00:05:34]  Remember that skepticism is the best medicine.
[00:05:39]  Next to giggling, of course.
[00:05:40]  Until next time, this is Adrian Hill.
[00:05:51]  From PRX.