HOLY SH*T…HAWAII BURNS! But Are The Conspiracies TRUE?! - Stay Free #192
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I'm a black man and I could never be a better man.
Brought to you by Pfizer.
In this video, you're going to see how to make a black man's hat.
In this video, you're going to see the future.
Hello there you Awakening Wonders, thanks for joining me with Gareth Roy for Stay Free with Russell Brand.
First 15 minutes we're going to be on YouTube, but after that we're going to slink away into the shadowy world of free speech, truth, beauty, glory and revolution that we call our home.
We're going to be talking about the cultural revolt.
Are people just rejecting outright the pap being served up by a culture that doesn't like them, love them or want them to be free?
Are we seeing increasing authoritarianism everywhere and new peripheral marginal movements, people thirsting after freedom?
Here at Stay Free HQ, pilgrims arrive demanding to be part of our family, demanding that we give them the very manner that we have received, that you have given us, hope that the world can be changed.
Is this because that lad arrived?
Because of the lad, yeah.
You're placing all this on the lad.
He might have got lost.
You don't know why he's here.
He did say that this used to be a pub and he asked for a pint of snakebite.
Nevertheless, I see him as a harbinger of a glorious new revolution.
You let me know what you think in the comments in the chat.
Is it finally changing?
As hard as they work to centralise authority, can you feel new movements?
Can you feel it rising up from the very soil as they try to bring down your leaders, as they try to fortify centralist authoritarian movements?
Can you feel that the people are beginning to change, beginning to reject their stories?
We've got a great show for you.
We're going to be talking about the cultural revolution in the extraordinary and auburn form of Antony.
Oliver Antony.
Is he the sound of freedom of the pop world with his new anti-establishment hit?
We're going to be having a little look at We're gonna be talking about YouTube's policy changes and how they're reaching into every medical area, preventing us speaking about anything that the WHO don't sanction.
Where did the WHO get all this power?
Who voted from?
Who funds them?
And of course we're gonna be talking about the Maui wildfires.
Is it a land grab and is there any truth in the conspiracy theories that surround it?
And even if there isn't truth in the more let's call them outlandish theories for the sake of simplicity.
For example some people are saying that like a intergalactic laser beam started the fires and that Bill Gates was sat up there like Darth Vader firing them down.
Now that you know may yet prove to be utterly preposterous but even if that is the case On an emotional level, are we being exploited by elites?
Does it feel like every time there's a crisis or disaster, it somehow benefits the powerful while punishing ordinary people?
Let me know in the comments in the chat if you agree with that.
We've got some extraordinary stories.
Let's have a look at this Orban-haired Appalachian figure.
The Appalachian region always being a place of fracture and troglodyte pugilism.
They're a powerful people.
Did you know that?
Oh yeah, yeah.
Because they descend from the Celts and the Scots and stuff.
Oh, I see.
That's what I've read in a book before.
So let's have a look at him, because I've not heard this song, but I recognise that it's pretty popular.
Good, it's pretty powerful.
Will we be able to get clearance on it?
We'll give it a go.
Do you know we can't even play our own theme tune on YouTube?
I think the WHO are bothered about this as well.
You cannot have that.
What if he's a soothsayer singing sweet melodies?
They say that music soothes the savage beast, but that hasn't gone through the FDA.
There's an alternative remedy!
What is it?
Some sort of holistic pop song?
Shave his beard, snatch his guitar, smack his freckly bum?
That can't be right.
Not in a free world.
Let's see what he's saying.
People like you wish I could just wake up and it not be true, but it is.
Oh it is, living in the new world With an old soul
There's rich men north of Richmond Lord knows they all just wanna have total control
Wanna know what My moonshine and cook me a rattlesnake
I like this guy!
If this is the future of pop, I'm in baby!
You thought you didn't understand pop anymore, but look.
I do understand it.
Merging your political interests and your musical tastes.
I stopped paying attention to Pop when them lads put their trousers on back to front and asked me to jump up and down.
That's where I drew the line.
I think they were called Criss Cross or Cross Criss or something of that nature.
Lil' Bow Wow, I loved him.
Great guy.
I know, I'm so sweet.
What I want is an auburn haired pirate man.
Why do you get into Bow Wow so much?
I love Lil' Bow Wow, he's a good lad.
Little Bow Wow, he's a good kid.
But this guy, it's interesting, isn't it?
How everything's become sort of radicalised and politicised.
That just sounds like ordinary country music with the kind of anti-establishment sort of sentiment that would be typical to the genre.
Yeah, exactly.
He's talking about the rich inhabitants of Washington DC and how they call all the shots and leave the poor person, kind of, or the everyman behind.
And you could argue he's pretty right about that.
Woody Guthrie, who you might see as the kind of ground zero of this Yeah.
of music. He was by his nature anti-establishment, singing about hobos,
challenging the bankers, saying that sometimes criminals and gangsters were
folkloric heroes because they were by their nature anti-establishment figures.
He was a darling of the left, like a British folk singer like Billy Bragg would
call him a darling. Bob Dylan, who's hardly right-wing, would cite him as a
kind of mentor and as the sort of the impreture of that musical genre.
But now, when someone sort of sings a bit like that, the assumption is that he's
popped off his Ku Klux Klan hat and started singing straight away. Like
Sound of Freedom, when you actually watch that film, it's not like it's sort of
going, and by the way, we should all be white fellas. It's sort of just like a
normal film, innit? It's odd how things are being repackaged as somehow
verboten or forbidden, just simply by virtue of the fact they are outside of
an economic model or outside of a sort of rather extraordinary, peculiar and
groundless sort of cultish new cultural movement.
I think he's described his politics as being like cento anyway I think he said neither left nor right and I think it's like it's been embraced by people saying people on the right but I think you could also just call them fans or people with certain musical tastes to kind of call it a viral right-wing anthem now when all he's doing is basically saying there's too much control for rich people in Washington feels like a step too far.
The most left-wing message that there could be, or at least the most anti-authoritarian message, as we discussed with Glenn Greenwald recently, and you should watch his show on Rumble, he's absolutely fantastic, the terms left and right have become redundant.
If a folk singer saying that you can't trust Washington DC fat cat politicians who are
in bed with Wall Street and care more about corporate interests than they care about you
and your family, if that's regarded as right wing now, then I would imagine that it means
that all the metrics and criteria have shifted to a bewildering degree.
I think this sense that there is no static set of criteria that we can rely on is part
of the breaking down of our culture.
I also think we know from the news at the moment the situation with the $25 billion
extra that's now been appropriated for Ukraine again, over $100 billion spent in terms of
sending weapons to Ukraine, with the $12 billion that's been spent on the Hawaii situation.
And you can kind of see a situation there whereby you could very easily argue that the priority is not going to American citizens.
And so someone who's saying the fat cats in Washington are prioritizing people elsewhere or themselves over their own citizens, again it's kind of justified.
What's wrong with that message?
Let us know in the comments.
If you're one of our Awakening Wonders over on YouTube, perhaps join us in the other place.
Consider coming to the sweet home of freedom.
If you're a taxpayer, how do you feel that you're coughing up $900 a year to support this ongoing and potentially unwinnable war between Ukraine and Russia, while a stipend of just, I said stipend, of just $700 Has been given to those who have been burned and ravaged in the wake of the Hawaiian fires that we'll be talking about in more detail later.
$700 for US citizens, $900 sent abroad.
Is that the American model now?
Is it America's job to police the world and to neglect its own?
Is that the politics you want?
Is it the job of America to prescribe your culture, curtail your culture, tell you which aspects of your culture you can pay attention to?
Is there another pandemic just around the corner?
Over here in our crazy little country, the glorious islands of Britannia, we are being told that catastrophic pandemics are on their way.
And it's actually, I don't know why we're even being told this.
What evidence is it based on?
Why are we being amped up into a constant state of fears?
Shall we have a look?
Yeah, so this is a new Cabinet Office document, which sounds boring already, but this is in a so-called reasonable worst-case scenario, which seems like a mad justification for creating this document.
It's a worst-case scenario, but I'm being perfectly reasonable.
You know that fella downstairs you've come to love?
He drops off.
He lies on the floor like a dead shrew.
A catch drags him off to a corner.
You're sick.
You're sick all over it, you try to pick your own John Thomas up off the floor and reattach it using nothing more than earwax.
That's a reasonable worst-case scenario.
I saw Sam Harris, who's coming on the show in a couple of weeks actually, proselytising about a potential scenario.
He goes, what if we had a pandemic where it killed 50% of people and the vaccine was proven to be effective and people still didn't take it?
RFK should be put in prison!
People are using weird hypothetical situations to conjecture the authority ought be listened to more and more. And these
kind of stories, these are hysterical. Like why is the Telegraph even reporting on
this? Why is there a new cabinet office convening to say we're going to require more powers
to lock you down, get ready baby, the next one's going to be worse.
Well I think, given their views, I think in relation to the Telegraph, they've printed
a- I think they're saying kind of, this is the kind of stuff that's... Because in terms of like... Can I have a toast?
Of course, please.
To the mainstream.
Ah, yes.
Mainstream, you're doing your job.
We're toasting, the gallery's toasting, even the little lad outside.
There they are, see them toasting while they work.
Even the lad outside who's turned up here seeking a message of hope, a message of hope that he will receive, because hope is what we're offering you.
While you may see the signs of Armageddon all about you, while you may see the walls of dystopia being built even in your own communities, let us tell you that hope and freedom are just around the corner.
To the mainstream, baby!
You sweet sons of guns, yeah?
Well, also to the businesses and governments for working in collaboration because apparently... Businesses and the government!
The government is... The document is seen inside the cabinet office as hopefully being a wake-up call to businesses and organisations to build up mitigation measures to key risks.
Skol!
Government cannot... Salute!
Government cannot tackle these challenges alone due to our increasingly complex and interconnected world.
All of society needs to work together to strengthen our defences and build a more resilient nation.
We've got to build a more resilient nation.
Do you think what they mean by a more resilient nation?
Let me know in the chat in the comments if you agree with what I'm about to say.
Not yet, you don't know what it is yet or can you predict it?
That by more resilient nation what they mean is give us the right to control, have more authority, let us set up 15-minute cities, let us set up CBDCs where we can control your currencies.
You know they're already piloting that in Australia.
We made an exquisite video about that earlier which is going to knock your socks off when you eventually see it.
It stands mighty like a sasquatch, that video!
Doesn't it, Gal?
Certainly does, yeah.
It's going to be brilliant, it's going to change the world, I think.
You're right, so when they talk about a fortified and stronger society, what they ultimately mean is they're going to take it more forward.
Listen, we've got to come off YouTube.
The WHO might think that these words of ours that we speak might be like wine unto thine ear.
They might be a remedy down in your sweet belly.
They might heal you of the idea that you're living in a dystopia.
They might awaken you to the power that you possess, and therefore it might get banned by the WHO.
Where's our funding from Billy Boy Gates and his space laser?
Where is it? I've not seen penny one from that poindexter, from that nerd, from that little nerd sitting up learning
computers.
He's got a lot of people to fund within, who then in turn fund the WHO.
Gotta fund a lot of pharma companies.
Yeah, Garvey's gotta fund them.
Gotta fund Garvey's, that medical company.
Yeah, vaccines.
Gotta buy up agricultural land.
Gotta help farmers in the continent of Africa learn how to farm better.
Gotta buy up seeds and patent seeds.
Then once that's all done, how about a few quid for us here at the Stay Free Foundation that believe in awakening you, liberating you, empowering you to run your own life as a spiritual person and to run your own community as an awakened soul.
Okay, we're going to leave you now on YouTube.
I tell you why, because Because we are gonna be talking about a saucy little story.
Are we gonna be talking about the Hawaiian land grab?
Are we gonna be talking about the medical misinformation policy on YouTube?
They're not gonna let that fly.
Yeah.
Everything we say now could be misinterpreted or disinterpreted or malinterpreted as misinformation.
That is why we've got to leave.
Now remember we are gathering a small army of pilgrims and awakened souls.
Remember we hold yearly events now and they're Oh, that's why the lad's here, is he?
Oh, okay.
Oh, not literally.
Oh, I hope not.
Hang on.
you know that we'll post a link in the description if you want to come to community next year it's going to be
Amazing even better. I guarantee you it's gonna be even better. That's why people are coming here
That's why people are the lads here is a little lad. He's coming. I can get tickets online
He's a suck the sweet nipple of freedom, oh not literally well why not
Drink the gray milk the ambrosia Is that why you were late? I wondered what was going on.
I've been applying a balm!
He nibbled on it like a squirrel!
He nearly took the top off!
Right, see you later, YouTube, unless that was medical misinformation.
I think it might have been.
You squares!
We're going over at Rumble, baby!
Okay, so, hey, if you're watching us on Rumble, do subscribe.
It really helps us.
Do you know what?
Rumble don't have an algorithm.
Do you know why?
Because of their principles.
They think an algorithm's misleading.
They don't like it.
Good for them.
So good for you guys!
So you have to subscribe and you have to rumble us.
Old school.
Gangnam style!
Rumble us!
Rumble us hard!
Rumble!
That's the last you'll see of these sons of bitches, I tell you that!
Unless you want to come here live like Little Ed and suck on the teat of freedom.
Now YouTube's changed its policy, but our policy remains consistent.
It's freedom, fun, nipples, freedom fun, and pointless male titty boobs.
Go on then, let's have a look at them.
What have they done?
What is their medical misinformation policy?
Let's have a look at this.
This is from Schellenberger, Michael Schellenberger, who I've stood on a stage with and seen him practicing to be a politician.
Yeah, he was very good at it, wasn't he?
He was sort of practicing.
Yeah, hand movements and things.
Thumb on top.
Top thumb.
Top thumb.
I'm gonna be a politician, mum.
Top thumb.
Did you see Vivek Ramaswamy doing his rapping?
Certainly did.
What do you think about that?
I don't know.
Like, was it good really when now Tony Blair did the guitar or when Bill Clinton did the saxophone?
I think in retrospect it always looks a bit naff, doesn't it?
Not good, guys.
Don't do it.
Uh, so here's Michael Schellenberger.
YouTube's new policy is that it will censor you if you disagree with the World Health Organization.
What about you?
Do you disagree with the World Health Organization?
YouTube recognizes that the WHO's guidance might change, but if it does, it won't be because of debate on YouTube.
Yeah, YouTube isn't a social media platform, it's a propaganda platform.
Can that be true, guys?
What do you think?
Let me know in the comments, let me know in the chat.
If you're not a member of our locals community yet, become a member of our locals community!
Become a pilgrim!
Wander here!
Come in your droves!
Come on to thee, oh sufferer!
Have you got enough milk in there?
I can feed the 5,000 with these babies!
Oh no!
They may not look bad much, but there's plenty to go around.
So I've got another six running down me flanks.
I forgot about those.
I've got nipples down.
Like a sow!
Look, so look at the old COVID-19 medical misinformation policy.
YouTube doesn't allow content about COVID-19 that poses a serious risk of egregious harm.
Okay, don't look into those myocarditis stats then.
Otherwise, Rachel Maddow's in for a short, sharp shock.
She's up for a smack up cider, Ed.
Not that I would endorse that.
I like Rachel Maddow.
No, you don't.
Every time I mention anything like that, they go, why?
Why do you like Rachel Maddow?
It's personal.
I like people.
People are alright.
YouTube doesn't allow content that spreads medical misinformation that contradicts the World Health Organization, which is just a thing that's made up.
You realize that sometime.
Like, you think, oh, the World Health Organization.
Oh, JP Morgan.
Things that have got initials, acronyms.
Oh, we've been here ages.
They're just, like, gaggles of people with bureaucratic platforms.
One of the things I'm seeing now is a march to verify certain media platforms as being superior to others.
You know, like, it's elitist by its nature.
It's classist.
Well, because they've recognised that people now can access media however they want, you beautiful souls, come unto us, you sweet-suffering sweethearts, thee.
What they've tried to do is sort of stratify media.
Like, this is proper New York Times stuff.
As if the New York Times didn't agitate for and advocate for illegal wars based on spurious misinformation.
As if the New York Times didn't support the measures taken during the pandemic that are proved to be erroneous.
As if the New York Times won't allow reasonable debate about the ongoing conflict.
You know, and I'd like to see the New York Times bare their chests and offer sweet sucker to Little Ed.
They won't do it Gary.
That's one of their policies.
They're actually quite strict on that.
Some people say it's a good thing.
This is their new policy.
Yeah, they've essentially shifted from, you know, the guidelines that we know all too well over the last few years.
Which you can say that we know and love.
That we have tiptoed around for the last two or three years around COVID-19 and that's now just applied to WHO across the board.
So that's anything, WHO, anything now.
Give us an example.
Aspirin?
What I'm saying is, if the WHO have a policy on that, that you're not allowed to say aspirin, for example, could be used for these things, then you will, you know, you'll either be removed or demonetized on YouTube.
What is this march towards centralised, globalist authoritarianism?
For safety, isn't it?
Like, when they were talking about this, they were saying, look, we just can't have people saying that these medicines or medical practices are not healthy or helpful.
But how will they ever be advanced?
I mean, do you know what they should do?
Is they should look at what would have happened to the pursuit of new and emergent science if these rules had been applied to intrepid scientific research decades and perhaps even up to centuries ago.
That is exactly the point Mark Schellenberger made also.
Like the amount of...
Exactly that, Russell. Yeah.
You're on the same track as Schellenberger now.
Maybe...
Oh!
Two politicians!
Two politicians!
Hang on!
I don't know, Gareth, for other...
Only if the people demand it, Gareth.
It couldn't be for my own vanity and ego, Gareth.
It'd have to be... The people would simply have to demand it.
If the people demand... If the pilgrims keep a-comin', if the people demand it, I will sacrifice myself unto them, if that's what's required.
Not in a religious way, in a, you know, just devote-yourself-to-stuff way.
You know me.
I've got no... I've never been a grandiose man, have I?
It's not something I've ever fallen into.
That could never be labelled that easy.
Listen, Gal, I've got to talk about these deadly wildfires in Hawaii.
Some are saying that the conspiracy theories that surround them are disgusting.
And I don't know, is it disgusting to ponder a conspiracy theory?
Does that necessarily mean you don't revere and respect the dead?
Is it not possible to simultaneously Respect and care for the lives lost and to acknowledge the depth and breadth of this obvious and evident tragedy and still ask questions about how it might benefit existing powerful interests?
And even if a theory isn't true, should you be allowed to ask those questions?
And who has the authority to stop you?
Well, on YouTube it's the WHO if it's medical matters and elsewhere in the mainstream media it's seemingly an elite class of intellectuals that are able to determine which areas of ponderance and pontification ...are allowed, and which should be censored and fenced off.
Is there any basis, though, we're asking you, and ourselves, which is weird, during this inquiry, and whether or not these conspiracy theories are true, is there definitely an elite land grab occurring, independently of this disaster?
Here's the news.
Shit on your dog's bed.
Here's the effing news.
Here's the fucking news!
The tragic and deadly Hawaiian wildfires are claiming lives and fueling conspiracy theories around land grabs and even a Bill Gates laser starting it.
But as with many conspiracy theories, is there some basis in truth or is it, as it is apparently seeming to be, already potentially Joe Biden's Katrina?
A mishandled catastrophe where the government is shown to be out of touch with the people.
We are in the midst of a great tragedy and whenever there are events of this nature it's prudent to acknowledge the suffering of those most immediately affected and wise to recognize that mainstream media and state interests continually use legitimate tragedies in an opportunistic way.
Is there some way that we can benefit from these events?
You don't need to go so far as to say hang on a minute was this deliberately caused?
Although it There's always worth analysing and scrutinising all possibilities.
One thing I've learned in the last few years is things that start off as wacky conspiracies often end up being conspiracy facts.
But even in the event where there are rather more exaggerated conspiracies out there, you can often find when you look closely that there's a grain of truth in them, or even more than a grain, a kind of legitimate concern that powerful interests benefit from
what to most people are tragedies.
You can see that across the globe. Financial catastrophes that ruin most people's lives
are beneficial to financial elites. Wars that ruin the lives of Ukrainian and Russian people
are beneficial to the weapons manufacturing industry. So how is this fire being used?
What's the truth about it? And why are there so many conspiracy theories? Let's first of
all have a broad look at how the mainstream media are reporting this story.
This morning as new videos show the inferno that engulfed Lahaina and how residents spent
hours in the ocean to survive, anger is growing.
How did the nation's deadliest wildfire happen with no warning?
The search for the missing and dead is just getting started.
Canine cadaver dogs arriving over the weekend.
Some extraordinary language already.
Canine cadaver dogs.
And also some identifiable images now that we're all becoming quite accustomed to.
Apocalyptic images of burning forests and burning towns.
We're interested in how the media report this and how the state exploits it and whether or not there's any truth in some of the more seemingly outlandish claims that there's a land grab at play and that this is somehow beneficial to elite interests and indeed could these fires have been deliberately caused.
I find when investigating peripheral issues or peripheral ideas. It's very important to ensure
you don't say anything that you can't demonstrate to be true. But you also don't neglect to point
out that powerful interests are being served because that is so often the case. During the last
three years when most people suffered enormously, some incredibly powerful interests benefited.
Obviously and notably, big tech, big government, big pharma all benefited.
That's plain.
The numbers are there.
So when it comes to a tragic, immediate, and awful event like this, which is plainly devastating, nasty, despicable, let's have a look at how the event could be exploited subsequently, as well as if there's anything unusual about its origin.
More than 2,700 structures have been destroyed, most of them homes.
Residents desperate to get back.
We're mad.
We're mad.
You know, we didn't just lose our homes.
We lost our town.
The cause of the blaze is still under investigation.
Videos shot from the water show both how bad the fire was but also how strong the wind was blowing.
Obviously there are official investigations into the origins of this fire and as with any news event these days there are ideas, theories, notions and I think always speak to deep skepticism about mainstream narratives, deep cynicism about the relationship between those that govern and those of us that are governed.
One thing for sure is that these disasters are often demonstrate how out of touch government are with the people that they govern.
Whether it was the East Palestine rail disaster where the Biden administration who claimed to care a great deal about the environment responded badly or famously Hurricane Katrina where George W Bush messed up and it took Kanye West to point out that often people in power don't care about the interests of ordinary people or specifically in that case he said black people.
George Bush doesn't care about black people.
But we can equate that to those without power who are affected by the behavior of powerful institutions and interests.
Does Joe Biden's dismissal or inability to immediately comment suggest a similar lack
of compassion, empathy and understanding for those affected by this tragedy?
Mr. President, any comments on your right to be democrat or Maori?
Will you come talk about the Hawaii response, Mr. President?
Any comments on your right to be democrat or Maori?
Yeah, it's probably not best to sort of smile and say no comment.
If your tenure as president has been dogged by claims of senility, ineptitude, corruption and being out of touch, probably best not to just grin and say no, no comment when confronted with a disaster of this magnitude.
So let's look at this in more detail.
Claims about the deadly wildfires in Hawaii, including that shadowy forces orchestrated the disaster with a laser beam, have gained traction online.
Now, some people will say, oh, that's dangerous misinformation.
That should be shut down.
I think the opposite.
Discuss it.
Look at it.
Investigate it.
Either it's true or it's not true.
We can decide for ourselves.
Let's get excited.
The posts come from a variety of sources and accounts, but generally imply that elites or government agencies deliberately started the fires.
Videos and images claiming that wildfires were not a natural disaster and were instead caused by a directed energy weapon, a laser beam or explosion, have been viewed millions of times.
But the video was originally a viral clip shared on TikTok in May, showing a transformer explosion in Chile.
So that particular video was not legitimate or authentic, it says here.
An image of a church on fire in Hawaii has been viewed 9 million times, with people claiming it shows a laser beam rising from the church into the sky.
However, the image has been digitally altered.
No laser beam or ray of light can be seen in the original Associated Press photo.
So it seems that some investigations have been done that disprove these original claims.
But why is there this sense of exploitation, total mistrust?
Why does the idea culturally exist?
The elites aren't being honest with us.
that the establishment is exploiting us. Is there evidence for that elsewhere? And even
in the case of Hawaii, its fires and its land, is there any evidence that elites might be
trying to manipulate, campaign and socially reorganise the economic conditions of Hawaii?
Stay tuned to the end of the video.
Alongside the directed energy weapon rumours, speculation spread in viral posts that some
of the island's rich inhabitants and second home owners deliberately started the wildfires
to grab valuable land in Lahaina.
One viral video includes claims by a podcaster that native landowners in Maui have refused to sell land to investment management companies and rich locals.
Well, that would be pretty easy to prove, I guess.
The cause or causes of the fires on Maui are still unknown, but no real evidence has emerged to suggest they were deliberately started as part of a land grab.
So there's no evidence of those claims at the moment.
Let me know in the comments where you stand on that.
But let's not forget that even with a historic Conspiracy theory like the assassination of JFK.
The information after all of these years is still heavily redacted and controlled.
Let us remember that during the start of the pandemic assurances were offered to pharmaceutical companies that they would be immune from future prosecutions and some of that legislation already looks a little dubious doesn't it?
And once more we're not allowed full access to the information.
This lack of transparency leads to suspicion.
As always I bet the mainstream media will say we have to do something about this misinformation and disinformation.
These These conspiracy theories are hurtful to the real victims of this fire, but what they perhaps won't address is what the economic conditions in Hawaii are actually like and whether or not there is a degree of exploitation of the indigenous people.
Let's just cast our minds back and work out why is Hawaii part of America.
Give that a little bit of reflection and that might help you to see where we're going with this.
So even outside of these fires, are there economic and land-related issues that are a little dodgy and dubious?
Will any of these homes that are rebuilt be targeted at rich landowners?
And what has the government support of this issue been like?
Elizabeth Pickett, co-executive director of the non-profit Hawaii Wildfire Management Organization and co-author of Maui Wildfire Plan, developed in 2014, told the Wall Street Journal that measures like ramping up emergency response capacity have been stymied by a lack of funding, logistical hurdles in rugged terrain and competing priorities.
A bit like East Palestine, when you investigate that disaster it seems that the opportunities to update The hardware were neglected.
People aren't being paid.
The equipment ain't working properly.
Oh no, there's been a disaster.
And then when the disaster happens, what's the response?
It seems at odds as well with the concern and care that's expressed towards the environment, but usually in areas where it's possible to regulate and control the activities of ordinary people, rather than persecute, prosecute and control the actions of elite organizations and businesses.
Interesting.
What are these other priorities?
While the US government, backed by the corporate media, continuously claims there is no money to build infrastructure and take measures that prevent such disasters from happening in the first place, there's an endless supply of funds for war and financial bailouts of the banks and corporations.
Again, it's a point that's been raised before.
Where do you want your tax dollars going?
To support the infrastructure of states that are within the American experiment, like Hawaii?
Or do you want your money being sent to Ukraine to perpetuate war that doesn't seem to be going very well at all?
The US government through both Democratic and Republican administrations over the past three decades has spent trillions of dollars on imperialist wars that have killed and displaced millions of people, and at the same time funneled similar amounts into the financial system to ensure that money-making for billionaires on Wall Street continued without disruption.
Oh, I wonder why there's so much mistrust, so much room for conspiracy, pontification on the actions of these elites, when this kind of policy is ordinary, accepted to us.
When so much of what ought be crime and corruption remains legal because of the way these systems are organized, there's no wonder that people entertain outlandish conspiracy theories.
And yet the response of the political establishment has been an astounding degree of disinterest and the shirking of any responsibility for the disaster.
Aside from a three paragraph White House statement on Thursday, President Biden has said nothing about the staggering loss of life in Hawaii.
We had a similar disaster in our country, the UK, when the Grenfell Tower burned down and many lives were lost.
It's been a bureaucratic disaster and nightmare trying to investigate the causes of that fire.
It seems that there's some culpability in the safety regulation, but no one's going to get convinced.
No one's going to get charged and no one's going to get compensated for the loss of life.
One might think that if you have big, well-funded governments, these are the kind of disasters they should be dealing with, protecting their own populations.
Ideally, ensuring that disasters of this nature don't take place at all, but when they do take place, that people are taken care of, rather than curiously having this inordinate amount of care for people over there in Ukraine.
Odd that their care gets to be brokered by Raytheon and Lockheed Martin, and this kind of care doesn't seem to have the opportunity to skim profit off the top.
The people of Maui are shocked and outraged that there were no warnings to residents as the wind-whipped flames were approaching and then engulfing Lahaina.
Multiple survivors have told television reporters that there were no officials on the scene to help people escape the flames, no means of communicating with missing loved ones or contacting hospitals or emergency agencies.
Even days after the worst of the fires had ended, thousands of people left homeless without food were left to fend for themselves.
Reports have come in that the provision of urgently needed food and money for working class residents is being organised and run entirely at the community level by volunteers.
No infrastructure where it's needed.
I hope that the government will be similarly supportive of this disaster as they have been with disasters overseas.
Otherwise people might conclude that their only interest is in profitable disasters that afford opportunity to their elite backers and funders.
The level of dismay, anger and distrust of the government is palpable within the population.
The island of Maui is a microcosm of the social inequality that exists across America.
In recent decades, income disparity in Hawaii has accelerated.
Maui is also the location of Properties and residences owned by some of the world's wealthiest individuals.
Former CEO and founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, owns a $78 million, 14-acre estate surrounded by thousands of acres of dormant lava fields on La Perouse Bay on Valley Isle in Maui.
Oprah Winfrey, with a personal wealth of $2.5 billion, owns 2,000 acres on the island.
These billionaires and others have been buying up land and homes in Hawaii for decades, typically as vacation spots, but also as a place to park their assets.
When there are non-domicile tax evading techniques deployed, when there is demonstrable opportunity for rich individuals, even if they're rich individuals that have made their money legitimately, like Oprah Winfrey, It creates a sense of disparity and tension.
And that sense of disparity and tension, I think, facilitates, expedites, inflates contemplation of ideas like, it's very convenient that these fires have happened.
Does anyone benefit from these fires?
One of the things that I would ask you to track over time is, in two years, when we've all forgotten about this disaster, when we're 10 disasters into the future, 30 current things along the cycle, I wonder who benefited most from the fires in Maui.
Put to one side any conspiracy theories you might be entertaining at the moment.
What we can say is this is a very familiar story.
A lack of infrastructure and support for ordinary working Americans has led to a disaster that it seems, may down the line, benefit rich elites.
That's a story I've heard before.
Have you?
A chronic housing shortage and an influx of second home buyers and wealthy transplants have been displacing residents and the wildfire has multiplied concerns that any homes rebuilt there will be targeted at affluent outsiders seeking a tropical haven.
What was here before?
I don't know, just an island?
What are all these charred bodies and corpses?
Fertile land.
For growing palm trees.
For you to put a hammock on.
Oh, that would turbocharge what is already one of Hawaii's gravest and biggest challenges.
The exodus and displacement of native Hawaiian and local born residents who can no longer afford to live in their homeland.
Gentrification at an almost national scale.
In a way the laser beam becomes irrelevant.
That's simply the literal ignition of the event.
All of the concerns that wrap around the conspiracy theory are true.
Oh no, are elites exploiting this situation?
Are we going to be further impecuniated?
Will the richest people in the world benefit from this situation?
The focus, I sometimes think, is deliberately put onto the conspiracy theory to discredit the demonstrable reality that ordinary people are getting screwed over and rich elites are benefiting.
Same with the coronavirus pandemic.
Oh, it didn't start here.
It started there.
Who cares?
Who's benefiting from this situation?
Residents with insurance or government aid may get funds to rebuild, but those payouts could take years and recipients may find it won't be enough to pay rent or buy an alternate property in the interim.
Oh, buh-bye!
Good luck!
Good luck in your tenements and project buildings!
Hey!
There's some land suddenly available!
Zuckerberg!
Bill!
Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerberg doesn't work the land on his Hawaii ranch, but he and other wealthy landowners still benefit from huge agricultural tax breaks.
The scheme allows the super-rich to hoard wealth at the expense of the general public.
If you don't pay tax, it's a big problem.
Do you want to fund all these wars that you're paying for?
$900 each you're paying for the Ukraine war over there, per annum.
Do you want to do that?
Well, see what happens if you stop doing it.
You'll be getting a tap-tapity-tap-tap-tap on your front door.
Believe you me.
So, do we live in a society where there are different rules for wealthy elite?
Do wealthy elites benefit from situations that are disasters for ordinary people?
Let me know in the comments.
Thousands of acres of farms and pastures once held by scions of plantation era aristocracy are being gobbled up by new money billionaires and global investment firms.
These lands make for appealing additions to an investment portfolio not only for their prime location and skyrocketing value, but because they are eligible for huge agricultural tax break programs that save landowners millions on their property tax bills.
The laser is irrelevant.
It's like a poetic imagining of the corruption that's taking place.
Feels like there is a conspiracy.
The sense is that things seem to always go well for the most powerful interests.
So it doesn't matter if there's a literal event like the sparking of an actual fire or the invention of a virus.
Who knows?
Let's wait for proof.
Let's wait for proof.
One thing that's demonstrably true is these disasters appear to advantage the already advantaged elites that benefit from these systems being set up in the way that they already are.
And of course, that's the point of these systems, to ensure that power structures are maintained, that they can't be broken down, that people don't have a voice, that they're not able to discuss alternative views, or propagate alternative opinions, or organize political parties to oppose the existing structures.
That's how it operates.
Recipients of these breaks include meta-billionaire and world's 13th or so richest man, Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Priscilla Chan, who save upwards of $300,000 in property taxes each year on their 1,400-acre North Shore ranch.
ProPublica's 2021 reporting laid out how through an array of borrowing schemes, deductions, and write-offs, the uber-wealthy managed to pay unconscionably low income tax rates, with the 25 richest Americans paying a true tax rate of only 3.4%.
But reporting on state and local property tax breaks and agricultural tax breaks specifically remains limited.
These huge discounts for agricultural land are yet another piece of tax policy that allows the super-rich to hoard more and more wealth at the public's expense.
Those lost revenues must be replaced by higher taxes on other, usually poorer people, or cuts to social services.
On an island facing a massive housing crisis, the median home price often tops a million dollars.
Affordable housing projects often find themselves wanting for that missing funding.
So those savings that are made by rich elites have to come from somewhere and how many affordable houses will be built after this disaster?
Bill Gates began buying up tracts of land in 2013 and is now the largest owner of farmland in the country with 270,000 acres.
Other billionaires like Bezos, Buffett and Ted Turner are in on the game as well, each controlling thousands of acres to the extent that young farmers looking to buy land are being priced out of the market.
Part of the rationale for preferential tax treatment of agricultural land is the hope that tax savings will trickle down to leasehold farmers in the form of lower rents.
Does this pan out?
There is no public oversight on those decisions.
So it's just an assumption.
It's like the way that often government by science is government by favour and government by buddy accords.
Just agreements between political allies.
What's been described there is like a modern-day equivalent of the feudal system.
The baron owns the land, the serfs till the lands, they'll get some benefits, or at least an occasional turnip.
One of the conspiracy theories is of course that these fires were started deliberately to benefit rich elite, like black BlackRock. Now look at the Ukraine war. Ukraine have
already done a deal with BlackRock to rebuild their nation using BlackRock investment. If you
apply that mentality to this situation, if BlackRock end up benefiting from the fires in Hawaii,
then the conspiracy theory is almost a redundant detail.
Did they start it?
Didn't they start it?
Is it inevitable that the suffering of ordinary people leads to the benefit of rich elites and massive organisations like BlackRock and billionaires across the globe?
And why is Bill Gates buying all this agricultural land when he's not a farmer and he's not using it in the way that these breaks were set up to be used?
Doesn't it all feel like a kind of macro-conspiracy that's so diffuse, institutional, It's so oddly abstracted and bureaucratically opaque that sometimes you just want to simplify it into, they started this fire, they started it with a laser from space.
And whether it's true or not, it not only feels true in terms of its results, it is kind of true.
There is a conspiracy to keep you poor and to benefit rich elites.
But it's just, it's everywhere.
It's almost like water to a fish.
It's not a conspiracy, it's just the environment you live in.
You live in corruption.
Every time there's a disaster or fire, you bet it's going to benefit elites.
You bet the poorest people are going to suffer more.
Every time there's a pandemic, you bet they're going to control you more and rich interests are going to benefit from it.
We might not find a smoking gun or a beaming laser, but you can be sure that Black Rock and the world's most powerful individuals will benefit down the line from this disaster.
The trouble is, by then, me and you, unless we're very, very careful, will be focusing on the conspiracy theory or the tragedy of 2024 or 2025.
So for now, let's focus on those that are truly suffering.
The people of Hawaii who have lost their lives and who have lost their homes.
But let's not get so caught up in grief that we forget how these disasters are exploited by the powerful that benefit from a system that seems to be advantaged every time there's a disaster.
But that's just what I think.
Let me know what you think in the chat.
See you in a second.
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2015 delicious Conflagration an incendiary mess that consumes the lives of
innocent people and possibly grants opportunity for profit to already
advantaged elites What a world we live in, where the WHO can impose censorship and regulation on intrepid endeavour and acute conversation that could lead to new breakthroughs.
What a terrible bureaucracy.
Football isn't like that though.
Football is nice.
Football is nice.
And welcome to Football is Nice, where we talk about matters regarding primarily the Premier League in the
United Kingdom, but also football as a global phenomena.
It's moral connotations, it's mythic connotations, and just stuff we've seen that we're well into.
Let's start off by congratulating the Lionesses who've beaten the Matildas in the World Cup.
It seems that England's football team in the women's world are Pretty bloody good, actually.
They consistently keep winning football matches, don't they?
And tournaments.
Is the manager a man or a woman?
Woman.
Nothing left for men to cling to.
Nothing.
We're doing that.
Women, womankind, have advanced.
Well, especially because she took over from Phil Neville.
Who was a man.
Much superior job.
And then Phil Neville, he went to the MLS to work for Inter Miami.
Then got sacked.
And you could tell he was going to get sacked because he was all agitated just before they sacked him.
So sincere congratulations to the Lionesses for beating the Matildas on their home turf.
Never good for the home nation to go out in a semi-final.
That's the worst time to go out.
That's what happened to us, their men's team in Euro 96.
And when it happens, it's like, oh, they're so close to the final.
Gaza.
Gazza!
What were you drinking?
I still see that in my dreams or nightmares.
Another 10 inches and he would have nudged it in and there we would have been.
But the England team now, circa 2023, have gotten to the final.
Congratulations where they will face Spain and hopefully triumph.
I certainly feel more confident about women's football than I do men's football.
And there's been a lot of movement, a lot of fluctuation, and actually I'm quite angry about several things.
Would you like to just hear some of the things I'm angry about in the football world this week?
Already angry.
Week one.
I'm angry that Harry Kane went to Bayern Munich.
Are you?
I'm angry because it feels like... I feel angry for him.
Okay.
Because, like, he's already gone there, he's already lost the game.
Yeah.
I read somewhere that he might spurs up Bayern Munich.
Like, Bayern Munich might be sort of ruined somehow by him.
Oh no, it's like a curse.
Like the Harry Kane curse.
I think Harry Kane is a sort of a gentleman and a sort of a model athlete in so many ways.
Like, he seems like a really decent, lovely man.
And I kind of wanted him to go somewhere.
I suppose what I'm thinking, do you know what it is?
This is probably as often is the case when I sort of scrutinize my perspective.
It's my own prejudices and biases.
Like, what it is is, I think Bayern Munich, in spite of their obvious success, you see the five stars above their badge representing five victories.
Probably, who's had more than that?
Liverpool and Real Madrid probably only.
What it is is, I don't think Bayern Munich's glamorous enough.
Right.
It's the glamour.
In Germany, they come to us.
I see.
They come to us, is how I see it.
No offence, Germany.
Bellinum went to them, though, didn't he?
But then he come back to us.
No, he went to Spain.
He went to them.
Yeah, that's actually, I'm annoyed about that as well.
I wanted him to go there, I've said that before.
Did you?
To Bayern?
Or Rail?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I think because of the glamour, I think it is that, actually.
I've tried to come up with other reasons, but I think it probably is the glamour.
Do you know what it is?
It's because he's hot.
Like, why go Germany?
It's just England without the music.
Right.
And without the comedy.
Reductive attitude.
It's racist, really.
Xenophobic, at least.
Like, that's what I think, though.
Don't go somewhere else cold.
Go somewhere warm.
Go Italy!
Sports car, Vespa, sexy, pasta, yeah, Italy!
Yeah, but it will come down to wages, ultimately, won't it?
Go Spain!
Ah!
Flamenco!
Intensity!
Sort of coal-eyed flamenco dancers.
You're just going to do all your clichés at this point.
A woman screaming at you in a square.
Oh, she's attractive, is she?
She's lovely.
Of course she is.
Elia Alvarez Diaz.
That relationship broke down, sadly.
It was in El Escorial, Franco's resting place.
Franco, who, let's face it, was a bit of a dictator.
Right.
And he left as his final monument a big, very, very tall crucifix.
It was not, like, very, very long on the vertical, narrow on the horizontal.
Like, sort of a weird, like, you know, when a shoot comes through, like a seed, like a baby plant, like that.
But a crucifix version of that.
This is some amazing Harry Kane analysis, isn't it?
We won't get this anywhere else.
Let's get to the root of why he went!
It's because of Franco's cenotaph.
Oh, there's an odd Harry Kane song.
Let's have a listen to that, if you're listening to this as a podcast, which you can do, and it's bloody good as a podcast, by the way.
And let's look at it with our eyes, if we have access to the visual medium.
Let's look at it.
Harry Kane signs for Bayern Munich!
One, two, three, four!
Harry!
for who if they paid to do this
I've no idea.
Is it coming from the people that do Affleck Come In?
I mean, the animation looks like that.
It's very interesting, and it's a weird voice.
Harry, Harry Kane, yeah!
I don't think Harry Kane would be pleased about that.
No.
Like, that's gonna offend him.
Well, yeah.
On arrival.
Right, maybe.
Is it intended to?
What is the intention?
Also, what genre is this?
Like, rock?
Euro rock?
I was speaking to a German person just earlier today.
Okay.
And apparently they're using my song.
That's right, Gareth.
My song, Stroke the Furry Wall, out of one of them films where I done.
Oh, yeah.
Get Me to the Creek.
They're doing that as their wedding song, and while they were sort of showing all of their various friends singing bits from Stroke the Furry Wall, a vision befell me, and it was a powerful one.
It was me as a Hasselhoff-style star in Germany, because Hasselhoff... I see.
Hasselhoff, uniquely in Germany, was like, is there Elvis?
Like, if you ask a German who's the king of rock and roll, they'll tell you, Hasselhoff.
Wait, wasn't that to do with the Berlin Wall?
Wasn't it something to do with the Berlin Wall?
Well, Gareth, you're half right.
The fall of the Berlin Wall was inaugurated by Knight Rider.
Knight Rider, he helped get that down.
Eastern Germany should be unified, Michael.
There's no reason for this anymore.
Unified Germany!
Unified Germany! Get rid of the starzy! That red thing.
Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr.
Did you have a Knight Rider?
I always wanted a Knight Rider.
I had a Black Trans Am, it wasn't Knight Rider, but I was able to... Oh no, it's the worst!
What's wrong with that?
You pretended you had Knight Rider, didn't you?
You're one of those children who had to pretend.
I'm always pretentious.
You know I made Chewbacca into Teen Wolf.
What I've done with that black Trans Am is I put like, you know like cassette tapes, they had stickers on them so you could write what the name was?
Well BASF cassettes, they had a red sticker, so I simply fashioned that into the red bit at the front of Knight Rider.
This is why you're like you are, because of those moments as a child.
You think that's who I still am deep down?
That's amazing.
With all of the grandiosity and all the declarations of revolution, just a little boy playing Knight Rider alone.
When you'd done that, did you think to yourself, and there it is, actual Knight Rider, or did you just think to yourself, that's not good enough?
Look... Yeah, no, it's the latter.
I tried to commit tonight, Ryder.
Yeah.
Okay, so Harry Kane's gone there, he's had a rubbish song sung to him, but could I become the next Hasselhoff?
Could I?
Could I become a German Elvis?
Is it possible to be a German Elvis?
And is Harry Kane's... Does he, in his heart... I reckon Harry Kane feels exactly how I felt when I put that cassette sticker on the front of an off-branch Trans Am.
Right.
This was not what I wanted.
I had to do this because I wasn't allowed to go to either Man U, Man City or Real Madrid because of bloody Daniel Levy.
And I'll tell you the thing, like you know how we all know Daniel Levy's a good negotiator because of the world tells us that.
I'll tell you another thing I know that's a bit like that.
Jordan Henderson is really good at the bleep test.
You know the bleep test where they have to run backwards and forwards?
Oh, Jordan Henderson, he's the best at that.
Him and James Milner, they're always ahead of the others.
Like, what do I know about the bleep test for?
I don't want to know about the intricacies of training and their private stuff that they do.
Because now football clubs release stuff for social media, don't they?
So you're always seeing behind the scenes and the hilarity that goes on with Imagine if that was going on in the days of like footballers like Paul Gascoigne and the teams of the 80s because what they'd have found out is that they were like tossing themselves off in the dressing room and making people eat biscuits loaded up with man effluvia.
I mean it's like it was a very very different sort of more jocular you might say and certainly less reconstructed time.
Okay so Harry Kane, deep down is he disappointed?
Will he win the Bundesliga?
Better?
If he don't, that's a crusher.
That's like when Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy went to Man United and he won F4,
but then he did actually win everything the subsequent season.
But for one year, it was that.
So it could be, it could be a real blunder.
Let's have a look at those other transfers up there.
And I'll tell you the next thing I'm angry about.
I'm angry.
What?
Oh, is that that lad Casado going from Brighton?
Casado's gone to Brighton for more than Declan!
He's gone to Chelsea, yeah.
So there was a bidding war between Liverpool and Chelsea.
And the bidding war pushed him up?
Yeah, Liverpool bid at one point £110 or £11 million, which is unbelievable because I think Klopp said earlier in the season that £100 million for a player when they were... They should have got Declan!
Right, but anyway, Chelsea have got him for £115,000.
And they're getting that Romeo Livia.
They're getting Lavia from Southampton.
I mean, the money Chelsea are spending is incredible.
I'm angry about Paqueta.
Yeah.
Like, if they take Paqueta, because Kevin De Bruyne got that bloody injury that's taken him out for the season, so they just go and take Paqueta.
He's out for four months, I think, De Bruyne, yeah.
Didn't use one of your other brilliant players.
I know, I know, mate.
I'm sorry, but he wants to go.
Calvin Phillips.
70 million for Lukas Piquetta.
The break clause is 85 million.
Yeah, they won't sell him for that, will they?
I don't want to sell him at all.
What's the point?
Do you feel good about having the 105 million?
Is James Wood Prowse going to be enough for West Ham?
Tricky.
I feel for teams like West Ham.
I mean, obviously, as a Hull City fan, I know what happens here, but I guess Hull always exists kind of in that realm of having to... You just know as soon as Jared Bowen plays well, you know he's going.
West Ham, you feel, especially winning a European trophy, you'd have a few seasons with your best players, but it just seems like now the money that is at stake here, the money that Chelsea can spend and therefore the way in which it hikes up what Man City are going to spend or, you know, these clubs with massive finances, It's just impossible to turn that money down.
West Ham just can't turn 80, 90 million pounds down.
When I was thinking, when I was feeling this sort of sadness and sorrow of Paquetta's probable departure, and actual anger, I felt anger, and I thought, you're just the same but on another level.
You are taking players from Hull or Reading or whatever, Southampton in this instance, so it's not I know you mean but I think there's you know when Bowen went to West Ham I was like pleased for him as in we weren't going up it was going to be a long time before we were and you can't deny someone who had such he was I mean he was astounding at Hull for a couple of seasons
And I think someone with that much talent should be playing in the Premier League.
He deserves to be.
And so when he went to West Ham, you know, you paid a decent fee for him.
I thought that's the natural next step.
I think when you're in a situation now where you've got teams like West Ham winning European trophies and still their best players can be poached.
You don't mind losing a lover if you get a better lover after.
Like, say if you get chucked, isn't it good to think that your next sexual partner is like a real upgrade?
You think, well that's okay, I've had the bruising of a chucking.
But if after that you're forever in relationships that don't seem quite as good, That's no good because what I feel like is like we've lost Declan Rice and what we're being offered in return like the transfer policy has been doubtlessly stymied by Moyse's inability to form a good complicity with this technical director he evidently don't get on with and it slowed everything down.
Right.
And I think the underlying sentiment of this podcast is, at what point, we've discussed it so much, does the evident financial momentum of this game capsize the romance and the sentiment?
And then you have to investigate what your feelings are, because Neymar going to Saudi Arabia seems mental.
And I was reading Steven Gerrard doing a report on how it's like they're not ready for the humidity, these lads and stuff, but they're playing football in bloody Saudi Arabia.
Hell are they expecting?
And now like Manet's gone out there and Neymar's gone there and like you can easily make the arguments that were made during the Qatar World Cup of like, well, why is that country not allowed to have its own thing go down?
You know, why are they not allowed their moment?
Why not?
No, I agree.
And I think there are all sorts of arguments with the situation in Saudi Arabia as to, you know, as we've said before, what's so different from when the Premier League was being founded in this country?
It just does seem... I'm concerned about what's going on with the fees that are going on in this country at the moment.
The Chelsea model is becoming ridiculous.
And what it's doing to push up the value of players and therefore make it inevitable that those players leave clubs like West Ham, I think it's dangerous.
Do you know what there might be?
Is it might become so sort of hysterical and grotesque that it actually sort of,
other than the absolute upper echelon, sort of cancels itself out.
I.e., if you inflate value artificially, in the end the value will not have
a rational connection to quality.
It won't be qualitative anymore.
That's why you've got Brentford, Brighton, like teams that are like,
hang on a minute, we can't go that way, but we can go this way.
You know, if they can get Kaisido for, I think, five million quid.
Four and a half million or something, yeah.
And then sell him on for 100, it's like, well, you've got to run with that model.
You've got to run with that model, and therefore you could, by that rationale,
get 10 of those players for five million quid and have a team full of 100 million pound players.
So in the end it breaks down.
Have a look at like Neymar's Deal Gal.
He could potentially break Saudi Arabia because he's going to get half a million euros for every social media post he makes saying Saudi Arabia is good.
He could... I hope they've put a cap on that because otherwise he could just go, ain't Saudi Arabia nice?
I'll tell you what I like, Saudi Arabia.
Come to Saudi Arabia And you could, until the end, they can't pump enough out the ground to keep Neymar going.
Get chap GBT on that.
Get chap GBT!
Nice things about Saudi Arabia.
Off you go.
There you go.
They'll be coming to us capping hands, the Saudi Arabians, won't they?
In a matter of days, ruined by Neymar.
Is Neymar the epitome of the modern day footballer as mercenary?
A man who has to some degree somehow squandered his talent through commerce in the same way that it could be said that former incarnations of great players squandered their talent through alcoholism in the case of George Best or through sort of mental health challenges like Gaza.
It's a difficult one with Neymar, isn't it?
Because I think there is... I think you're right.
We view him in a certain way.
He doesn't seem as likeable, does he?
The diving also plays a big part of it.
But in a sense, we shouldn't really care about the haircuts.
Do what you want with your haircut.
Yeah, he just doesn't seem necessarily all that likeable.
And it feels like, I guess, the move to PSG felt like all about the money.
The move now feels like all about the money.
But I don't know.
Do you know what'll happen?
I bet there are extraterrestrials and they'll buy Neymar.
The extraterrestrials have bought Neymar.
They've given him a planet.
And if he makes favorable social media posts about alien probes up the bum, he'll get paid very well.
Why that particular example?
Closing... I don't know why I said that.
I was just thinking about the bum.
Closing Neymar's contract, allowing him to go to his sister's birthday party every year.
I don't want to go... In the end, that negotiation's gone so well, that they've just started asking for stuff.
Anything.
No.
You also have to renounce Allah, and you have to become a secular country.
Okay, Neymar!
Neymar's pushing it.
Don't go your sister's birthday.
Oh, no?
What?
No.
Do you think that's the lesson from this, do you?
I think of all the things... God, how much are you earning a week?
Three million euros a week?
Right, don't go to your sister's birthday.
You can't go!
Right.
Sorry I'm missing your birthday.
Why, Neymar, why?
Three million euros.
Right.
Plus, me and ChatGBT are saying such nice things about Saudi Arabia.
We ain't got time.
Yeah, I mean, I'll come during the week, surely.
See you another day.
Yeah.
You don't even know that was your birthday.
You've only got Mum and Dad's word for it.
And let's face it, Mum and Dad even strapped me up with Junior, so as I can't forget Dad for a single second a day, who's also my agent, probably, is he?
Oh, probably.
Of course he is.
Yeah, I think he actually is, yeah.
Like, that's what coincidence... Why are you getting so much into Neymar's family?
I'm angry!
Like, what it is, is like, Neymar, the Neymar family... Yeah.
It's a remarkable coincidence.
My son's really good at football, and I'm remarkably good at football agenting.
We're the perfect combination!
Yeah.
Interesting, those relationships.
Mind you, who am I to judge Neymar?
I'm no one to judge Neymar.
And actually, I bet he's alright.
I don't care.
I'm just saying a bunch of stuff.
Yeah, no, it's absolutely fine.
I don't know.
I'm not attacking Neymar deep down.
You ain't got time to watch this.
It's interesting that like, you know, there was a time where Neymar was that massive move from Barcelona to PSG and it was all, there were like a couple of players in the world who were valued at that kind of level and Bape in that.
And now it feels like there are hundreds of players that have the same kind of value.
I think Neymar went for 77... I know he's 31, but he went for 77 million.
Now you've got Casado going for 115.
It's, you know, it doesn't... It feels like the categories are changing.
I don't know. These lads are barely showing up in the prem like 45 appearances for Casado and
Larbia only uh who often gets called Larbia in uh subtitles.
Is that right? When I watch stuff about transfers on YouTube yeah and I sort of think huh.
Yeah I guess he got relegated with Southampton.
But then I always think of the example with, for example, Andy Robertson, when he got relegated with Hull.
Anyways, Liverpool was amazing.
You could say, you know, the best left back ever, potentially.
Yeah.
Okay, fair enough.
There's some other things I want to talk about.
And they are this.
Roy Hodgson, friend of the show, former England manager, and presumed man-nan, is actually once again proving himself to be a brick-top Tony-style gangster.
Yes.
This time it's more than like in that post-match interview.
Listen son, don't try and pull my plonker.
Don't try and pull my pants down.
I've got plenty in reserve.
Instead of that now, he's actually showed his true colours and what vivid, beautiful, vibrant colours they are.
They're the colours of blood and fist.
Yes.
Roy Hodgson.
Someone barged into him off the byline and his natural response was so like a Chaz and Dave lyric.
It was so sort of GER-ture.
Yeah.
Get out of me!
He so easily morphed his face into like a pitbull snarl.
Yeah.
It's like he recognised a little jab to the midriff, wasn't it?
From the opposition player and he just went straight into it.
It was natural.
Yeah, it was natural.
Lovely throw.
I love that.
Let's have a look at Roy Hodgson now.
now.
He does give him a little push.
He does give him a little push.
He doesn't suffer falls, Troy Hodgson.
I like that.
I like that.
I like the way he sort of pulls the hand down, knocks the ball out of his hand, mouths the C word, hits back, and steps forward.
Like Mick the Ferret.
My friend, Mick the Ferret.
Trucker Bernie said, never took a backward step, Mick.
Hard man, Mick.
Never took a backward step.
Same could be said of Roy Hodgson.
He don't go backwards, he go forwards.
Do you think that there's, I don't know, subconsciously somewhere in Roy Hodgson's mind it's like the people maybe are making fun of his age and so he's always kind of ready to like prove that he's still got it at the age of 70 odd?
He's the Biden of the Premier League.
He's all like he could overreact.
Like how do you sort of think one day Biden might sort of actually get his willy out to show that he's still virile?
What state's it in?
I'd say it's like seaweed.
I reckon it's no longer a singular entity, Joe Biden's penis.
I reckon it's sort of like a, you know, sort of underneath the door, a draft, like not a draft excluder, like that, like a brush, like a, like it's like a doormat.
I reckon it's mostly bristles.
Right, and you think that'll, he'll get that out, do you?
You might be right.
It's going to embarrass him to do that.
But he's not beneath him to grandstand, is it?
And also, Roy Hodgson is considerably younger, and I'd say more capable than Joe Biden.
I'd rather have Roy Hodgson.
As president?
As president.
Wow.
What a move that would be.
Yeah, I think.
No, listen.
Start bloody well using those weapons responsibly or we're not going to send you another single weapon.
Is it too late to nominate him?
Do you think?
I don't think so, Gareth.
I think now's the time.
I think it is.
There could be some obstacles.
He's got to get citizenship.
But why don't we back that?
Yeah.
Why don't we back this?
Well, we're going to have to.
Let's dedicate all that we do to that.
Make Roy Hodgson President of the United States of America, even though he's shown no sign of wanting it, and be embarrassed by the idea, we're almost certain of that fact.
Also, on-screen aggression took place between Pep Guardiola, that gorgeous beige tic-tac of testosterone and charisma, standing next side that great purloin, that 30 great sexy sirloin steak of Viking sex energy that is Harland.
Now, as you know, I'm avowedly, and at least publicly, not a homosexual.
Yeah, with Erling Harland, everything about him, all of the odd aspects of him,
like the shaved up sides of his head, the long sort of, the blonde hair is particularly erotic.
There's not often, like, would you like to crunch down on that?
Like get one, get him into a ponytail, but you're using your own hand as the ponytail maker.
Get the upper end of it and then crunch down and feel what it feels like to crunch down.
I'm not saying only with his consent.
Sure.
And then- I imagine he would be up for that.
He was pretty, oh my God.
I mean, look at him there.
He's nothing but lips.
Wow.
like he's a cherry-lipped, like he's an unusual man but he's undeniably sexy.
I think it's power, isn't it?
Of course it is.
I actually don't like... I always, as a younger man, backed myself in the sweet world of erotica, but I think with Erlin Harland, I think I might come out of that encounter feeling so diminished.
Oh, you're together, are you?
Yeah, there's no point.
What are we going to do?
It's not a competition.
No.
It's a love affair.
And I feel like that after being with Erlin, unless he's like extraordinarily tender, I think you might come out of that feeling like a sort of a baby bird who's fallen down an escalator.
Yeah.
I also think the language would be, you know, it wouldn't be as floral as yours.
No way.
You know, I think he's pretty abrupt.
I reckon so.
Like, they're sort of the Nordic people.
They are, other than Abba, the Nordic people are quite abrupt with language.
And even Abba... Yeah, they're good.
God, they're good, aren't they?
Yeah, yeah, no, they are good.
Isn't that the usual thing?
English people wouldn't say it.
Yeah.
No, no.
You're absolutely right.
I agree.
They don't talk normally, do they?
They're not the exact lyrics, were they?
But... Napoleon did surrender.
I think that is the lyrics.
Oh, okay.
Excellent.
Great.
I forgot you're actually quite into ABBA at the moment.
I can't stop thinking about ABBA.
I'd like to do an ABBA-related cultural event every couple of days.
No, I know.
Really, I'll go see Mamma Mia, I'll watch the film Mamma Mia, I'll go and see an ABBA tribute band, ABBA Revival, when I saw them the other day.
I think this is all inspired by your infatuation with Haarlem at the moment.
Those northern European people, those people where it's perpetual night yet perpetual day.
Yes.
Where they apparently yearn for the safety of a Volvo and the hot, hot heat of the sauna.
And that's how they say it as well.
Sauna.
That's what they would say.
That's what Erling Haarlem would say.
He'd sit there and he'd let his towel come undone and he's like lob his cock over your leg.
Sort of lob it there.
Yeah.
Like that.
And the helmet, as we know, is sort of unusually large.
Yes.
It's got such a lot of weight behind it, like a swing ball.
That's right.
Like a thud down between your thighs, the tip of it.
You wouldn't say anything.
Of course, you wouldn't embarrass Erling.
No.
Just attempt to brush it.
It'd be hard to remove it, I imagine.
I think you would strain.
Your neck muscles would bulge as you tried to lift early.
And that's why I'm so surprised that Pep Guardiola was so confrontational and couldn't wait to get to the dressing room before admonishing Erling Haaland.
I think he's scored at least one.
Before what?
Oh, admonishing.
Admonishing.
Admonishing him off.
And he'd at least had one goal.
He might have even had two goals.
What possibly could Guardiola He wasn't happy about something, was he?
You need that type of manager.
I mean, look at the amount... If footballers are going to be as powerful as a country now, because of, you know, what they earn, and you know that I don't... I think that the regulation should come around ownership models.
I think they should be re-nationalized and distributed among the community.
And I think we're at that kind of tipping point, where something as extraordinary as that, with all of its ramifications, with all of its indications for global finance, is exactly the sort of radical idea we need to be considering.
To galvanise communities, to recognise that communities should own their assets, that if you have something naturally totemic, like a football club that can bring people together, that can provide a focal point for a community, you have to make radical moves.
And all of the problems you would discover when you said, we are taking back this football club, we're like, hold on a minute, but FSG own it, or bloody Saudi Arabia own it or whatever.
All of the problems you'd encounter would be so revealing about our economic and social models and how private interests have usurped public good to such a degree that we can't even do anything we want to do anymore.
And isn't it the point of politics to present people with alternatives and ideas that are radical and mean something and bring people together and make life fun and make life worth living?
Because football does that.
Sport does it more broadly, but in particular for us it does a lot.
Football makes life beautiful and now it's becoming plain that it's just a commodity.
It's just a commodity to them.
And I think we should do something radical like Rione.
I heard Ria Ferdinand was watching the new TNT Sports.
Are you going to call it that?
Are you going to call Twitter X and then you're going to call BT TNT?
I'll try.
TNT, Ria Ferdinand was on there talking about the, and he was asked about the Saudi stuff and obviously they, I think they, the host kind of wanted to go, yeah, you know, it's not great that everyone's moving to Saudi Arabia.
But actually what he said was, I would have done the same thing towards the end of my career.
And then what he said was, which I thought was an interesting take, he said, no one says anything about America whatsoever.
He goes, when Messi goes over to America, the kind of deal that Messi's had done, no one says a thing.
It's celebrated everywhere.
Isn't this an amazing thing that's happening?
And he says, but, and look what's happening in Saudi Arabia.
He said, it's so different, the response.
And I was like, yeah, I think that's a fair point.
If what you're saying is, it's about the politics, You know, that's the reason why we're coming down hard on the Saudi Arabia stuff.
It's like, well, hang on, where's our analysis of American policy, you know?
You can't send your footballers off to a warmongering nation that requires a constant warfare in order to prop up its model that charges its citizenry free taxation without proper or due consent.
Hey, Lionel Messi!
Yeah, you're right, it's sort of like xenophobia.
In his book Orientalism, Edward Said posits that we don't even have the ability to conceive
of how what we call the East and the Middle East regard us, that they have their own trajectory
and their own models, like in the case of China, Japan and all that, Buddhism and like
the Islam and pre-Islamic religions of like, you know, the Ottoman Empire and all that,
the stuff that's regionalised around there.
We don't have, we can't conceptualise it and we try to impose a different model on there.
And yeah, I must say that my own feelings about it is like, you can't go over there,
they don't understand football like we do.
It's got a lot of they in it and a lot of unconscious sort of othering.
But I suppose the part of it that's legitimate is the part of the analysis that I would apply
to the Premier League and, you know, ownership models that are external, simply because it
should be about the communities they come from.
Like, when you hear about Celtic winning the European Cup and like everyone in the team
I'm lifting about, honestly I think it was three miles.
Wow.
And like Jock Steen was sort of like the Beatles or something.
It's like the spirit of that land has come in a human form and is demonstrating the power and love of the community.
And that idea, it's you that said it, is so powerful that it can sustain Layer after layer of commerce and commodification and abuse like some sort of holy whore that can maintain her virginal quality in spite of all of the prostitution.
It's sort of miraculous really.
It is.
But like, what I feel like is that I have to acknowledge that my feeling that they can just take Paqueta to City is fundamentally no different than taking Boeing from Hull or whoever we're gonna scoop up with our whatever additional revenue we have for our sort of our minor, let's face it, European tribe.
Did you see, can we have a look at the Hopometer?
Cause I felt that pessimism in my own analysis there.
Like they did this thing where they, the Athletic, which is a great sports publication,
you have to say, where they asked each Premier League club how optimistic they felt about the forthcoming season.
The fans of, yeah.
Yeah, it's almost alphabetical at the top, actually, or is it alphabetical?
Oh no, it is alphabetical, but also it stays with the alphabet.
People just like the alphabet.
Aston Villa are the most optimistic.
Then Bournemouth and Arsenal should be obviously more optimistic.
Villa, Bournemouth and Brighton, they're the most optimistic.
I suppose what that shows you, and the point we're going to make is that West Ham are the least optimistic.
West Ham fans feel totally negative about the forthcoming season, along with Sheffield United, who probably presume they're going down, along with Everton, who are probably still concerned that they've not addressed the problems of last year.
I'm surprised that Well, Palace actually is considerably higher.
I mean, we are less than half.
If that's what the league table looks like at the end of the season, we're in a lot of trouble.
West Ham are going down hard.
But it shows you what I thought was interesting about this is that hope is relative.
Yes.
And what I think it is, is West Ham ended the season on that triumph in Europe, then sold Declan Rice, then did not buy, not perceived to have bought well Or quickly enough.
So there's a sort of gulf in expectation.
Whereas Villa were in the ascent, weren't they?
Towards the end of the season.
And even like having lost 5-1 to Newcastle in the opening game, I bet they still feel pretty optimistic.
I think so.
I mean, they've spent a lot of money on new players.
Paul Torres and then the Diaby who I think scored the solitary goal the other day but yeah he's very highly rated but yeah I think they're you know and obviously they've got a great manager you know he came in and did a fantastic job It's weird when that happens because Emery at Sevilla, it was such a sort of a continual conduit of success.
Did he go to Arsenal at the wrong time then?
Was it?
Did he come from PSG and then went to Arsenal after that?
And obviously the PSG effect was like, you know, unless you win the Champions League, then you're considered a failure.
Everything is relative, isn't it?
It's like, you know, because like, It's the order in which events occur.
We're such narrativizing animals.
It's like, oh, he did that, PSG.
Oh, shit, Arsenal.
He goes back to Sevilla.
Oh, he's good again now.
It's almost like the la... People are primed, we are primed, for either disappointment or the relief from disappointment, it almost seems like.
Yeah.
I get it with West Ham.
You know, I think in a certain way... I don't know.
I know, obviously, the fans don't win... didn't win that European trophy, but it's...
I think when you, you do put a lot of, I mean, even when we watched it, you know, all together in the barn, you like put so much of yourself and so much energy into it and so much backing for your club and so much backing of your players.
But then when they achieve what they achieved, and then it feels like the heart of the club has kind of been ripped out of it and not sufficiently replaced.
I can see why the fans are affected by that, you know?
Yeah that's right something symbolic has been sacrificed and it seems like a terminus but it also I think it's quite rational in some regards because it was been decline since the season prior to last and now it feels like that the anomaly is the the victory in Europe and decline is the trend.
I'm very excited about this because Tottenham Hotspur have appointed in Ange Postacoglu an Australian.
There's no other way of describing it.
And we've not had, have we had Australian managers before?
Cariels, have they ever been head coaches or anything?
Like we've certainly not had anyone this Australian.
No.
Like, what I like about Australian people, generally, is their sort of informality and ease.
And it seems that Andrew, is it Andrew Postacoglu?
Postacoglu, yeah.
Ease, like, seems to exemplify the things that I like about Australia.
Our friend David Squires, who's the cartoonist at The Guardian, who does a brilliant cartoon, says that Postacoglu coming to prominence in this way seems like there's like a band you've been following for ages and never thought would make it, and suddenly everyone's talking about him and just says it seems so weird, because this is a guy that he's seen following, like, local teams in, like, across Australia.
Let's have a look at him overusing the word mate in a way that is really heartening and what you want from an Australian.
Would you be looking for a like-for-like replacement for Harry?
I don't think there's a like-for-like replacement for Harry, mate.
We've been planning for this for a while.
You know, this was gonna happen.
This doesn't change things dramatically from my perspective anyway.
Given Harry will leave you the rest?
I don't think it works that way, mate.
It's not my wife handing me a shopping list to go down and get some milk and bread for the kids.
Weird domestic life.
But also like that's sort of, when I think about it, part of what I think we talk about a lot is you want in public life and maybe even particularly in political life that kind of discourse.
Someone that talks like, look mate it don't really work like that.
There's no sort of, like that is the opposite of Clinton Blair style slick fanfare.
It's the emergence of a kind of colloquial vernacular that's immediately recognizable.
I don't like Tottenham but I actually hope he does well.
I do.
I do worry, though, for him.
Why is that, mate?
Well, I mean, you know, Spurs were already in a very... in dire straits.
They not bought no-one good, didn't they?
And that midfielder, that attacking midfielder, didn't he do well the other night against Brentford?
I think they have bought a few, but, I mean, Richarlison's up there on his own with Son now, and they did not perform well last season, and it feels like now Kane's gone.
Richarlison's never alone.
He's always got Neymar on his back.
He's always got Neymar and himself on his back.
But in a sense, it doesn't matter how nice this guy is, to be honest, if you don't get results.
But I think he's got an edge as well.
I don't think he's just nice.
Sure.
You never know the Spurs manager or anyone, I suppose, but is he going to be Martin Yul, or is... That's it, really.
Or is he going to be Harry Redknapp?
Is he an Anzabedian Redknapp?
That's what Redknapp has, is that.
He's got, well, Redknapp's got the same, innit?
And with Hodgson, they've all got something underneath there as well, haven't they?
Another level.
Yeah.
I wonder what it is, because you've got to be able to do what Guardiola did, like a sexy little beige tic-tac, and like, go up to Harland, and sort of, like, who the fuck?
I know.
He's got the minerals to go and have a go at him after he's scored a couple of goals.
He's like, that guy can do what he wants.
Harland is so good, I think, that you, like, as superior as City are, he could, if you put him in Man United, you think, well, Man United might win the league now.
You think he's going to get 30 goals.
Liverpool, they might win the league.
They'll get 30 goals.
He's like someone that you think would get 30 goals almost any other, any conditions.
Sort of astonishing and unique when it appears that the tide of inflation is rising to make what would once have been regarded, because it was before, like you said, them 100 million players, it's like, oh, you're the equivalent of Trevor Francis or Ruud Gullit or whoever the most expensive player in the world is.
Now it's just like, they're the equivalent of people I don't remember from the 70s, 80s and 90s, aren't they?
So I don't know, man.
All right, we've got to do our predictions now to wrap up this Football is Nice segment, this Football is Nice show.
I knew I'd done bad, I could tell it.
Look at yours, almost all green and lella.
You are, in a way, the Man City of... How did that Giza do, though?
Mark Goldbridge, we didn't fuck him, we didn't bother him.
BadGraphicsJack's not gonna do that.
BadGraphicsJack, that's, I'd say, your best graphic.
I'm confused as to why you've put a fade into the sort of reds and the yellows, why you've not done block colours.
Can someone ask him why he did that, and why he did that?
He's sort of, he's done, an incorrect result is red, a correct result is yellow, and an absolutely correct score is green.
But he's used this sort of fade, and I don't know why he did it.
What did he say?
It's hard to speak.
Make him say it out loud through a microphone.
Because I think that would be good to have on the record.
Is that mic working?
It's artistic, Gareth.
Yeah.
It's artistic.
I mean, who are we in a way to argue with that, you know?
Well, I think I'm an established artist.
Artist, that's a good point.
And you are sort of a credible producer and performer and writer of some renowned success.
Yeah.
But I do sort of think about it, I very much admire.
And this is it.
This is it.
This is the paradox of Jack.
The Jack paradox.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Alright.
On the surface of it, I think most of it, you're right, looks really bad.
But it's one of those, it's the kind of bad that you think, in like a few years time, we're gonna go, God, it's brilliant that, wasn't it?
Is he like the Picasso of graphics?
That's the thing.
Like, we think it's bad, and Jack's like, he's Vincent van Gogh.
Yeah.
Like, this world were never meant for one as beautiful as my graphic.
That's right.
Like, we don't understand how good he is.
No.
Because he's that good.
That's why he just gets on with it.
It's artistic.
Like, he doesn't, he's not affected by our criticism.
It's artistic what I've done.
I don't care.
Yeah.
One day I will end my life and you fools will miss me.
Alright, let's do the predictions.
Will you lot remember it so I don't have to write it down like a little nerf?
All right, Spurs v Man U. We're only going to do five predictions this week and we're including holes to make it more interesting for Gareth.
That's just a decision someone made.
Let's include hole for Gareth.
Well, West Ham are included.
Yeah, but they're in the top flight.
Oh, okay, fair enough.
But I'm not arguing with it.
No, sure, sure, sure.
I'm just noticing it.
Yeah.
Noticing is not arguing, although sometimes, for me, it is.
Like, if I notice something, I'll argue with it, and all I've really done is noticed it.
Oh, I noticed this, so therefore I'm going to cause a fucking problem!
That's actually my mentality.
It's best not to be noticed.
Don't notice anything.
Spurs v Man Utd.
I think 2-1 Tottenham.
2-1 United.
Man City v Newcastle.
I'm so glad this game's happening.
It's an evening game.
Is it not going to be televised?
Will it be televised, that?
It's on telly?
Ah, cool.
Alright, City v Newcastle.
What's going to happen there, guys?
They've got no De Bruyne and they don't have Paquette yet.
Newcastle on the march.
Didn't they draw last season at a similar time?
That's when people recognised that Newcastle were a force to be reckoned with.
I feel like I want Newcastle to win.
Do you think I was going to say Chicken Tonight?
I'm going to predict Newcastle.
Newcastle 2-0.
Wow, an away win.
Yeah, fuck it.
What have I got to lose?
Dignity and credibility as a predictor.
God, that is a tough one.
Can we beat Chelsea?
Okay, I'm going to say something crazy like 3-2 Man City.
Ain't crazy as 2-0 Newcastle.
I'm crazy.
Chelsea, West Ham, I always predict that we're going to win and I'm going to have to predict that we're going to win.
Oh gosh shit.
Fuck.
Oh god no.
Bollocks.
3-2.
Blackburn, why don't you feel the sweet sting of loyalty?
The bitter taste of love under your tongue?
We had a great result of the weekend against Sheffield Wednesday, but... Oh, did you win that?
Yeah, 4-2.
Two fun hat-tricks.
It was great.
I was very pleased with it, but Sheffield Wednesday have just come up and I don't think they're going to have a great season.
Blackburn, I don't see us winning it.
I'll say 1-0 Blackburn.
You are willing to predict a whole loss, are you?
Do you actually put prediction before superstition?
I usually try to, yeah, just to temper my...
Oh right, then it's like you win either way in a sense.
Alright, well I'm going to predict that Hull are going to win 1-0 away.
Now when it comes to that Werder Bremen-Bayern Munich tie, I've been thinking about this a lot.
And I like to think that Werder Bremen are going to win 2-1.
Do you?
Yeah, I don't want Harry Kane to win his... I want Harry Kane to... No, I don't want Harry Kane to suffer.
That's out of order.
But I just think that things might be all... Like, he might become sort of a big, long Frank Spencer of Bavaria.
Right.
You don't want that to happen.
I do think it will.
Like a sort of a cack-handed sort of sod.
Like a big grasshopper-legged loon.
I'll say bye on 2 now.
There you go, those are our predictions.
Now we have to stop doing that because of other jobs.
That's all the time we've got today.
Football is nice will be back next week and of course you can listen to the whole conversation on the football is
nice podcast You beautiful bastard
Dr. Peter Atiyah, world-renowned physician on the science of longevity and human testes, will be joining us on the show tomorrow.
It's a fantastic conversation that we had.
Do you want to live longer?
Do you want to live right?
And how are you going to treat your ball bag if you have one?
Did you call him a human testes?
Yeah, a human testes.
Okay, fine.
Join us tomorrow, though, for more of the same.
Eurgh!
Stinking vile slops, which is a drink we'll be launching soon, but for more of the different.