Dean Graziosi transforms his history of poverty and instability into entrepreneurial success by rejecting victimhood and taking absolute responsibility. Partnering with Tony Robbins, he leverages AI to help individuals reclaim time through purpose-driven application rather than tool-chasing. While warning against social media's instant gratification trap and the illusion of financial security, Graziosi advocates reducing news consumption to maintain courage. Ultimately, this approach shifts focus from external validation to internal growth, ensuring people do not get left behind by rapid technological change. [Automatically generated summary]
When you're on the investor side of things, how much of your decision to invest with somebody is based on someone that has sort of done the work to get themselves right and all that versus just that you happen to really like the product?
It is good to have you because I just mentioned to you in the 30 seconds that we spent off camera that I spent about 20 minutes, the last 20 minutes, going through your Twitter.
And I have to say, your ex, like just seeing somebody talk about positivity and how to get your world in order and Do things better and be better for yourself and for other people.
Quite refreshing for somebody that deals with politics all day long.
So, okay, for people that don't know you at all and the nature of your relationship with Tony, who I've had on the show several times and who's been hugely influential in my life, could you maybe give me a little bio first and then we'll dive into some of the specifics?
Yeah, you know, um, I, I think the, the best way is if you're going to take time to listen to a podcast or watch a podcast, you got to know, is this for me?
And I think, I think the, the best thing I could share is we all have a journey on our way here.
Doesn't matter where the path goes, right?
We all have a journey.
For me, I just, my, I watched my mom work three jobs.
My single mom worked three jobs as a kid to make nothing.
And when she, she came home at nine o'clock at night, just tired, exhausted, you know, when you look back, David, you, you, you can see these things now, but it made such an impression on me that I felt, Hopeless in helping her.
She was, she's still alive.
She's heading towards 90.
She complained about nothing, but would get home at nine o'clock after her third job and we still could barely afford the rent.
We got evicted a couple of times.
And I think when those things happen, they can do two things for us, right?
They can trigger this is the way life is.
It's unfair.
Or it can trigger never again.
I don't want this to happen.
I don't want this for my mom.
And I remember being really young and I don't know.
People ask, my mom's asked me, she's like, what happened to you?
How did you get so motivated and inspired?
I just remember a point where I said to myself, I have to retire her.
Like, I, I, and, and when we look back in life, each goal we usually have was inspired by something we wanted to move away from or move towards.
And I just wanted to move away from watching my mom say nothing, come home tired, pass out on the couch.
So I remember thinking, young, I need to, I need to get rich.
I had no idea how.
It wasn't for selfish reasons.
It wasn't for vanity.
It was to retire my mom.
And at 24, I did.
I've been sending her a check every week of her life since then.
The house she lives in, the car she drives, I feel blessed.
And, and that one got me.
Got me started, right?
It got me on this drive to overcome dyslexia, overcome that I didn't go to college, overcome that nobody in my family had money.
Sometimes you don't need the best strategy.
You don't need to invent something.
You just need a purpose so big that nothing stops you.
And I think that might be the best way to help how I'm here and get to hang out with you today and be partners with Tony and do cool stuff.
I know it's a deeper conversation around it, but no, well, let's, let's go with that because how much of that do you think is how people are fundamentally wired, meaning the biology behind how they work and all of that versus just your ability to say, I'm here and now and this is the moment and let's go.
And I suppose success also helps frame a little bit of the past.
Like when I look back on, you know, 30 years ago when I was a struggling stand up comic and I literally didn't have 20 bucks in my pocket and I was putting together change to get a cup of coffee and handing out tickets two hours a night in Times Square just to get stage time and all that stuff.
Which sucked at the time, you know, even if it was the middle of a nor'easter and we'd be out there and it was miserable.
And now I look back on it and I'm like, man, those were the good old days, even though my life is great now.
Like I'm completely blessed across the board.
But I look back and I'm like, wow, that was pretty cool that I did all that, even though back then I was like, man, it can't get worse than this.
But I just had this dream somewhere and I was delusional enough, I guess, to follow it.
And isn't that the stuff, the comeback story, the breakthrough story?
Isn't that we're all inspired by?
You watch Rudy or Rocky, you got, or Seabiscuit, you got tears coming down your face, right?
It's because they went through the struggle.
And I think if you look back at that, a gentleman told me this 20 years ago.
He was about 20 years my senior.
I really respected him.
He said, Dean, those that make it are willing to pay their success tax.
And he didn't say much more than that, but that's, I use it.
I made up an analogy of that.
Like, I think we all have to pay.
You had a cell out in the streets when it was freezing in Nor'easter and you were hoping 50 people showed up and five showed up and you still gave the performance of your life.
You went backstage and said, should I really do this?
I probably should quit.
And you showed up two days later.
I think that's us paying our success tax.
And I think each of us maybe have to pay little different numbers.
You know, maybe, maybe Dave, maybe you had to fail 22 times and question yourself before the first breakthrough.
Maybe somebody else only has to do it twice.
And maybe somebody else has to do it 62 times.
But I think if we just look, if I pay enough of this success tax, eventually around one of these corners is another version of me that I, that I'll like more, that I'll, that I'll align more and won't have any regrets at the end.
You know, that moment hit, you know, fortunately for me, you know, a couple decades ago.
But I have to tell you that the thing I remember the most, again, I think when you come from a place when, you know, we did live in a trailer park for a while when I was a kid and we got evicted from it because my poor mom couldn't afford it, right?
So I think I did look through the lens of security, not significance, right?
And when everybody was okay, but I'll tell you the moment I do remember, David, my, my, again, when you have nine marriages and 20 moves and a very violent dad who I love dearly and he's still alive over.
And a dear friend of mine, I think if I really look back, the reason I worked so hard to become successful is because I was running away from a crazy childhood.
I was never in control, right?
I'll get to the question.
I was never in control.
I'd had a step grandfather who was great, Leo Rizzo, come home one day, never going to see Leo again because they broke up.
All these things happen, right?
And I think I was just fighting for control, control of my time.
Control of some sanity, control of having the ability to change.
My grandparents were a little crazy.
My parents were like, I have children and I think I've broken that.
I think it stops with me and my sister did too.
She's got amazing children.
Like we broke this craziness chain, right?
But I'll tell you the moment that I think it really hit me that I was successful.
It wasn't just money in the bank account or not worrying about money anymore, taking care of my mom.
It was the moment I realized that I had spent decades running away from pain and I used money as an excuse.
Well, when I have the money, I'll have control.
When I have the money, I can take care of my mom.
When I have the money, I can relax.
And when money wasn't the issue anymore, then the only person I had a face in the mirror was me.
And I remember that moment like, you can't use success as an excuse anymore, dude.
You have to go upstream and fix some of this reason that you work, you know, you work like you're like, like you owe the mob money still and you don't, right?
So I remember that moment and I did.
I went on a journey to work on me to become a better human, better father, better, better husband.
You know, I bought Tony's program off of an infomercial late night 30 years ago.
I had already owned a collision shop and an auto sales.
I had 20 apartments at the time.
I was building houses.
I was on my way.
And I bought his product, personal power, and devoured it, right?
And I became a product of the product.
Like, I didn't dabble in what he shared.
I probably wore out the tapes.
I reinvented my life and I built my own credibility.
By the time I met Tony, my companies had done hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars.
I was impacting lives.
We were doing trainings all over the world.
So I didn't just meet him as a fan and say, hey, could you be my partner?
I met him more as a peer.
And when I first met him, I was just so grateful for the spark he gave me.
You know, I was on a trajectory, but he, what Tony Robbins teaches, he is the goat of all goats.
He made me realize, I had already started thinking of it, but he made me realize more than anyone that my past happened for me, not to me.
That the craziness I went through my dad made me deeply empathetic, where I could get on stage and speak to 50,000 people with complete confidence because I feel like I know them and I love them and want to serve them because I had to figure out my crazy dad so he wouldn't.
Knock the windows out of our house and do crazy stuff, right?
And I started thinking of, wow, that happened for me to be better on stage.
And that happened with my mom because I worked hard and I had dyslexia so I could learn through listening and watching.
And all of a sudden it just made me realize, Hey, whether it's true or not, Dave, I'm just going to say God, whatever your beliefs are, gave me this childhood so I could be the man I am today.
I like the father I am.
I like the husband I am.
I like the friend I am.
I like the partner I am.
Am I perfect?
Heck no, but I like that.
And, and, and that, that hit me so hard.
Um, so I said, I'm just going to go out and do it.
We met one day.
We were supposed to meet for an hour and we ended up spending eight hours together.
Um, and we had so much in common.
His mom and my dad were almost the same type of person and we just decided to, to collaborate.
And, and we ended up being friends first for about three or four years.
We said, I'm doing well.
You're doing well.
This friendship's too cool.
Why mess it with a partnership?
And about three years in, he's like, we're too aligned.
I was watching a, uh, a video of you this morning.
Um, Where you talked about how, you know, people think their decisions in life basically are these like long years go by decisions when in reality they're really sort of just snap one second decisions.
Whatever that is, I know people talk purpose and your why, but think about it.
I always like to look if I got to the end of my life and I met my maker and he played me a video of the man I could have been if I took that uncomfortable action.
I think it would be the deepest pain.
It would resonate in your soul for the history of time or an infinite amount of time.
And I think your only wish would be could I go back and try again?
I truly think about that.
That's not just something I'm sharing.
And if you wish you could go back, then wish granted.
You're here today.
You have this moment to say no, this moment to say yes.
You just got to keep going deeper on the purpose to move today.
The second thing when it comes to instant change, you know, sometimes we wait until it's out of our control.
We're going to work out until we get the diagnosis and then we shift our lives.
We're going to be more intimate in our relationship and listen to our significant other, but we don't actually change until someone says goodbye, right?
Sometimes this thing you're waiting to do is going to happen to you anyway.
And it's going to be out of your control.
The company's going to go out and you got to start your own thing.
I mean, you might say, oh, I'm going to learn AI someday or I'm going to learn.
It's like until AI takes something away from you, then you're going to learn it.
So here's what I say go to the end of your life, see what makes sense, come back in the moment, wish granted, and then think about if you don't make the decision, the universe is going to, and you're going to have to handle it anyway.
How often do you meet people that you feel like really have a, Like a really good handle on all of that and that are, that are doing it at the level, uh, that you would want them to, to be, you know, as fully self-actualized as they could be.
I think less than you would ever imagine, but more are doing it through consistency.
So I, I think it's, it's like a muscle, David.
It's, it's, we can't get in shape by going into the gym once in a while when we're inspired, right?
You, you gotta find a way to go to the gym every day.
You gotta find a way to eat healthy most of the time.
And if we, if we practice this, if we check that voice in our mind, if we say, God, I've been, I've been thinking about this change for 10 years.
If we're aware of these things, that's where it all starts.
Awareness is where it all starts.
And then you got to take the uncomfortable action and start making shifts.
And the last thing I'll say about that is don't look at it like a New Year's resolution.
Don't say, you're right.
I got to get intimacy back, lose 10 pounds, start the business.
That's a New Year's resolution.
It's so much.
What do they say?
By January 19th, New Year's resolutions are dead.
Isn't that crazy?
So what I'd say is just be honest with yourself.
Recognize these areas, recognize that voice that always tells you you're crazy or you should be happy where you are and just say, Oh, I hear you.
And instead of making dramatic changes, Just think of one small step at a time.
We can do anything.
What's it?
Kaizen, right?
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Just find the direction you want to go and take little steps each day towards it.
And when it's, when that old voice tries to pull you back, you just recognize it.
So I think it's less about being the perfect person and more of understanding who you're meant to be or who you want to be and just self correcting continually until it becomes a habit.
I'll say on the negative side, I think, and I watch it with my kids.
Unfortunately, they're my kids, so we get to talk all the time about it and share about a lot of pieces.
But it's the instant gratification that's so in your face, right?
Influencers and, and, and not knowing the journey they're on and not knowing their whole life behind the scenes and when the camera's off.
It can show a path to success, um, that seems quicker, seems faster.
It's more identity driven.
It's more, uh, look at me kind of feel.
So I, I, I think, of course, there's positives.
I get my message out on social media, right?
We get to do videos and, and give people hope.
In all those areas.
So I think that's great, but I think it's the instant gratification.
And if you look at success, in most cases, success is slow.
Success is consistency.
Success is focusing on just a few little, a few needle movers that you go deep.
Everybody's, a lot of people are a mile wide and an inch deep.
I'll try this, doesn't work.
Try this, doesn't work.
I got to try this.
Let me try that new thing.
I saw this online.
And they're like an inch, an inch, an inch.
And like none of this works.
And then you see the slow and steady person is just an inch wide and a mile deep.
Ah, let me try this.
Let me try that.
Let me go to a podcast.
Let me try this thing.
Let me see if I can get some sponsorship.
And all of a sudden, you look back after 10 years and you build something magical, and people look at it like, you know, think it's overnight success.
So I think one thing the internet probably does is instant gratification and a mile wide and trying all these things.
But if you really study the most happy and most successful people in the world, they fine tune one core competency or one part of their business and go deep for years.
Do you think too many people are just focused on the financial side of all of this?
That you mentioned that you didn't come from anything, so you wanted the safety of having money, where now it's like people just seem to want to have, they just want more and more and more and more.
That seems to be a different thing.
And then you just never have enough once you're in that mindset.
Yeah, you don't listen, especially the world you're in, you meet so many people, and so do I. Successful, financially successful without fulfillment is probably the scariest thing to me in the history of the world because we know the people who've sold their companies for hundreds of millions or multiple billions and they're miserable and they're sad and their kids don't talk to them and their ex doesn't talk to them.
And listen, I went through a divorce.
So I'm raising my hand for I'm completely responsible for the first relationship in my life not working out.
I feel blessed that I'm married with my wife for eight years now and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
She's my Dearest friend in the world.
But I had to make some big mistakes to figure out how to do it right.
And I think, I don't know if this is what I would have said in my 20s, Dave, because I was so broke and just running away from not having anything that money could solve this.
And money does.
We cannot alienate money.
When people say money's evil, I said, You haven't given enough away yet.
Especially being partners with Tony Robbins.
You have no idea how much that man does behind the scenes.
Billions of meals around the world, this guy's committed to.
He's on a mission and so many things.
But the fact of the matter is, I used to think I can, and this hopefully ties it together.
And please, if my ADD goes, reel me back in.
But I used to think when I got money out of the way, then I could be happier and more fulfilled.
And if I could go back and talk to my 25 year old self, I'd say, You could be fulfilled and happy in the moment and still be hungry and go make money.
Because when you have the balance of fulfillment and love and connection and friendship combined with success, I think that's, I don't think at the end of our lives, you hear all the stories, the end of life, people don't talk about the money.
The line that people always say that I really, as I've gotten older, I now see to be true is that basically money just makes you more of who you are in some sense.
Oh, so if you're miserable and you can't be generous and all those things, well, now, congratulations, you just got a lot more of that.
And then if you have, but you're full, you can do extraordinary things and be happy with it.
So I hate the phrase money is the root of all evil.
So, um, you know, Tony and I partnered, uh, we've been friends for about 14 years, partnered about a decade ago.
And, and we, we own a company called mastermind.com where we teach people to do what we do.
Take your life experience and teach others.
So many people don't realize the greatest asset they have is the life experience, the troubles they went through, the problems they solved, right?
Imagine you teaching somebody how to do what you do.
I mean, how valuable would it be if you could go back and spend a week, the first week you were started?
Imagine if you had you now and say, wait a minute, sit down.
It's not what you think.
This is the good stuff.
This is the nuts.
So, so, so we created that company.
It's been an amazing company.
But then last year, Tony calls me and, you know, we, we talk almost every night.
We leave voice memos back and forth.
And then when it's important, he'll say, no voice memo, call me.
So I call him.
He said, the way AI is moving, it's going to disrupt so many people and the way people are teaching it.
They're starting off with overwhelming education, chasing every tool.
It's time consuming.
It's overwhelming.
It's scary.
He's like, we have to find a partner and we need to create an AI education company that allows people, the average people to, to buy back time using AI.
We started an AI company helping people buy back time, cutting the noise, giving them purpose, overcoming the fear and showing how to get time back in their life.
We did our, we did our first event last November.
We had 630,000 people, uh, register for the event.
Um, and that's what we work.
It's, you know, we have multiple companies, but we're really excited about helping the ordinary person not listen.
If someone's, you know, chasing every tool, their vibe coding, their, They have a claw bot.
They, they have an agent working for them.
They're way ahead of us.
We just want to help the 80% of business owners that know they need it a little deeper, but they're feeling a little overwhelmed, not sure where to start.
And that's who we've been helping.
It's the fastest company, uh, fastest growing company Tony and I've ever started.
I mean, I suspect I know the answer because you started a company on just sort of what, how AI will, will change humanity because, you know, I can do all the dystopian versions where we become the slaves to this thing and where Skynet turns on and all that stuff.
And then there's the other version of it, which is much more of, you know, sort of an Elon version of it, which is that it will, it will so take care of, of the mundane tasks that we will, we will end up in as close to a utopia, let's say, as humans could be.
And is it going to be perfect utopia where none of us have to work and cancer is cured and all those great things?
There could be a chance of that.
Usually it's down the middle.
And the way I look at it is what we focus on is what we get.
We talked about Wayne Dyer.
I'm the guy that's going to die from leukemia or I'm the guy that's going to kick leukemia's butt.
I'd rather take a view of we're going to put boundaries on this.
It's going to find its way.
It's going to help cure illnesses.
It's going to allow us to get rid of the mundane.
And it's going to allow people to buy time back and apply that to creativity, apply that to starting their own business so they're in control or expanding the business they have or maybe just being home for dinner.
So, the approach Tony and I take is it could go down either road, but while it's here, you can't ignore it because people using AI, I'm sure in your life, I'm twice as fast as I was just six months ago.
And I know I'll be twice as fast again in a couple of months.
It's allowing me to do things that are the mundane, the boring, the repetitive, and it's allowing me to go even more creative and launch other businesses and go stronger and deeper.
So, we're taking that path and then we're helping people see how to find that time without using 100 tools.
That's That's the crazy part.
If you follow the news and every new tool that comes out, I mean, it's beyond what our brain can handle.
Like, if you didn't get the tractor, the person with the tractor bought your company.
That tractor was probably expensive back then.
The difference is nothing can buy us time right now like AI can.
And it's practically free.
So it is the tractor.
It is electricity.
It is the internet exponentially bigger and faster.
So what Tony and I said is there's so much noisy education overwhelming people.
We've been educating people for almost 80 years between the two of us.
It's crazy, 77 years.
And we just plugged it into our same system to find purpose, to overcome the fear, to embrace the change, and then just take one path that gets people in it without overwhelm.
So, when you're on the investor side of things, how much of your decision to invest with somebody is based on what we've talked about here and someone that has sort of done the work to get themselves right and all that versus just that you happen to really like the product?
That's one of the best questions ever because as you said it, I realize in my past, I probably invested if I thought somebody was a good person and they had a good product.
And a lot of times it ended up not working out because I didn't follow everything I shared with you that I've done in my own life, that I know Tony Robbins has done in his life and my other partners.
In the last decade, I won't invest unless somebody is aligned with all those values, with all those processes, because it just doesn't last.
Here's what I say to even my team you could give a C opportunity to an A player and they'll make it work.
You give an A opportunity to a C player, it will fail every time.
And when you remember that, it changes the game.
Think about the A players you know in your life.
No matter what you gave them, they're going to make it work.
And then I was on stage one day and I said, if you, for the wrong person, you could give somebody a business on how to sell $20 bills for 10 bucks and they'll tell you why it won't work.
I wouldn't invest unless all those pieces were there because when the world shifts, when, when, Evolution happens when they have to move, when there's a shakeup.
You want somebody with an unshakable mindset to go, no, this isn't fun, but here's our path rather than, well, it didn't work because, hey, the world changed, right?
Let me ask you, since we haven't done politics, and I'm actually not going to ask you any politics specific questions, but since I mostly follow politics or I mostly, you know, discuss politics on the show, and one of the things that I found lately is that people are really kind of struggling to figure out how much time to focus on politics.
You know, there's this whole world out there happening all the time, and there's wars and the economy and all this stuff.
A certain set of people are obsessed with it all the time.
A certain people ignore it all the time.
Some people are halfway in between.
How do you decide how much you can integrate that portion of the world into everything that you're doing?
You watch a full day in news, you're like, I'm going to go take all my money, go inside my room and just sit there and hope the world doesn't crash.
So I think there's two extremes.
Here's what I'd say.
If news is affecting your decision making, if it's affecting how you feel, then I would say cut back to get enough that you're, you know, especially when you can find somebody who inspires you through politics, right?
I would just say we don't realize it.
But we're all, we all, you said you, you, you read my TikTok and, you know, we, we don't do a lot on TikTok, but Instagram and social media, YouTube.
We try to be a positive light out there because there's so much negativity.
But here's how I say, I want just enough to truly know what's going on.
And then for me, how I handle it is I try to apply everything through the lens of just practical, common sense, practical, like pragmatic.
And, and when I decipher it that way, I can get a handle to where I can accept a certain amount.
But I know for me, and I have to tell you, I'll be completely transparent.
During the last election, I got sucked in and I was spending too much time.
Waking up in the morning, spending an hour trying to get a grasp and looking at different sites and getting a thing.
And I realized it was absolutely affecting me.
But then I found some great people that I like to follow and I was okay watching those because I could get news in a more, you know, something aligned with my soul and it didn't make me uncomfortable or stop me.
So I don't have an elegant answer other than if it's lowering your confidence or it stops you from being courageous to lean into who you're meant to be, then you probably cut back or find somebody new to follow.
How I do my show is that I'm trying to make it so that it's kind of digestible and fun and truthful.
And if I can, you know, meld those three basically into something, then people, then that hour they spend with me is worthwhile as opposed to just keeping them afraid and angry and scared and psychotic and a whole bunch of other adjectives.
Well, we all know that the clickbait of that is good, but it's like, it's almost like the whole world's on fight or flight just because, and everybody's getting better at headlines and clips and scary and, and, and, Who knows what to believe now?
So I think what you're doing, Dave, is absolutely perfect and it's what the world needs.