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Aug. 8, 2025 - Rubin Report - Dave Rubin
15:00
Dave Rubin Reacts to 'South Park's' Most Offensive Clips Pt. 4
# womanhood definition trans woman south park abortion bodily autonomy dr garrison eric cartman gender identity genetic testing heather swanson indigenous ancestry matt stone media censorship racial ancestry

Dave Rubin reacts to South Park's most offensive clips, dissecting scenes ranging from harsh ADHD discipline and xenophobic P.F. Chang's panic to satirical genetic testing claims of victimhood. He analyzes double standards in teacher-student misconduct accusations, royal family interviews, and a courtroom drama involving Chef. The episode culminates in a critique of a storyline where trans woman Heather Swanson is denied an abortion due to lacking ovaries, sparking a fierce debate on bodily autonomy and the definition of womanhood that challenges modern societal norms. [Automatically generated summary]

Participants
Appearances
d
dave rubin
blaze 01:37
m
matt stone [butters]
02:06
|

Speaker Time Text
Back To The Future 00:13:13
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Alright guys, as you know, I am off the grid.
No computer, no phone, no TV, nothing electric, not even my Game Boy.
But here I am still making content for you from the past, I suppose.
It's the future now.
I'm in the past as I'm doing this.
Uh, South Park Clips, here we go.
unidentified
Treatment is fast and effective and doesn't use harmful drugs.
Watch closely as I apply treatment to the first child.
Sit down and study!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
That's the way we did it in my day.
unidentified
Sit out and study!
Stop crying and do your schoolwork!
If you would like more information on my bold new treatments, please send away for this free brochure entitled, You Can Either Calm Down or I Can Pop You in the Mouth Again.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Do you know what they I think I said this on the show once in my day?
What we used to do, I had a kid in third or fourth grade.
I cannot remember.
Maybe his name was Richie.
And he had what we didn't have ADHD back then.
He had whatever he had.
And what they decided to do, they literally took a box of like a dryer or a washing machine from somewhere in the school and they just put him in the box.
They opened up the top so he had access to fresh air, but he was just in the box.
That's what we did back in my day.
unidentified
I'm sure they were hitting them too, but you know, all right, what do we got?
And just say hello and breathe a lot.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Oh, hello, Prize.
unidentified
Thank you.
Hello, Proof.
Uh, welcome to P.F. Changs.
I'll be right with you.
Oh, my God, oh my god, oh my god!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
What?
It's already started!
White people in here working for the Chinese!
Selling out their own country!
unidentified
Uh, can I help you?
Oh, yes, hello, Prize!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
We are Chinese Payball!
Hello, Pruze!
unidentified
Ping Cow, Ding!
Uh, yeah, why don't I seat you over here?
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Your waitress will be right with you.
unidentified
Virtual, say, Sharp!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
What the hell is going on here?
unidentified
We've got to sneak our way into the back buddies.
There they are!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Chinese people!
There's Chinese people right over there.
You see them?
unidentified
Yeah!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Oh my gosh, the Chinese are here.
Okay, okay, I'm freaked out.
unidentified
I'm freaking out.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Hey, Coleman Eric.
unidentified
They're right over there, and they're gonna start screaming and begging on those drugs.
And then they get Thank you, butters.
All right, we need to go over there and find out what we can from those cabbie rats.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Oh, hello, Freeze!
unidentified
Hello!
Hello, wolf!
So nice to see all our Chinese people!
As you can see, we are Chinese people ourselves.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Ving vong, ving vong!
unidentified
Change our tea time!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Tamza cash, my ah.
unidentified
Yes!
Fiance here!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Final Facebook Changesh!
unidentified
So!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
What are the plans to take over America again?
unidentified
I forgot!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
I've never been to PF Changs.
Is it any good?
Joseph, you're Chinese.
We just subjected you to that.
Is PF Changs any good?
unidentified
Not really.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
You would not go there with your family.
unidentified
No.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
You would not.
unidentified
No.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Next.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Get the keys!
unidentified
We gotta get in there!
Oh!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
I think...
Yeah, I knew what this one was.
unidentified
What the?
Dad?
Oh, uh, there was a, there was a ghost.
It was an ectoplasm.
Did you see the ghost?
It ran through here.
It slimed me!
You son of a!
Oh, no, it wasn't me, that was a spooky ghost!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
That's a sticky situation.
unidentified
Next.
The category is people who annoy you.
Okay?
As always, we give you the letters R-T-S-L-N-E.
We just need three more consonants and a vowel.
Okay, I'd like a B, an N, and a G. And the vowel?
An O, please.
Okay, well, looks like you're gonna get a lot of help here.
Category is people who annoy you.
Audience, keep quiet, please.
Uh.
Well, uh.
Ten seconds, Mr. Marsh.
I know it, but I don't think I should say it.
Five seconds, Mr. Marsh.
All right, I'd like to solve the puzzle.
N******s!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
They are quite annoying.
unidentified
Ooh.
Oh, naggers, of course.
Naggers.
Right.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Next.
unidentified
Shoot him in the face twice.
One of the teachers is having sex with a student.
Oh my god!
You did the right thing telling the police, Brad.
Now, who is the teacher?
What's his name?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Well, it isn't a guy teacher, it's a woman.
unidentified
A woman?
Yeah, she's having sex with a boy.
Nice.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
No, you don't understand.
unidentified
You sure they've had sex?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Yeah.
unidentified
Had she performed oral sex on him?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
I think so.
unidentified
Nice.
Nice.
The crime is she isn't doing it with me.
You're right.
We're sorry.
This is serious.
We need to track this student down and give him his luckiest boy in America medal right away.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
There's a double standard.
I guess that was the point of the comedy program.
unidentified
We want privacy!
We want privacy!
All right, thanks for having us on the show!
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
It's so awesome to bear it, Scry.
unidentified
So let me start with you, sir.
You've lived a life with the royal family.
You've had everything handed to you, but you're saying your life has been hot, and now you've written all about it in your new book, Where?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Yes, that's right, friend.
unidentified
You see, my wife and I are taller, like you should write a book because your family looks stupid and then sort of like journalists.
So you hate journalists?
That's right.
And now you wrote a book that reports on the lives of the royal family.
Right.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
So you're a journalist.
unidentified
We just want to be normal people.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
All this attention is so hard.
unidentified
Isn't it true, sir, that your questionable wife has her own TV show and hangs out with celebrities and does fashion magazines?
What are you suggesting?
Well, I just think some people might say that your Instagram-loving wife actually doesn't want her privacy.
How dare you, sir?
My Instagram-loving wife has always wanted her privacy.
And you know what else?
To hell with Canada!
We are leaving!
We'll go find some quiet place where we can be normal people!
Come on, wife!
We want privacy!
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Where'd they go?
unidentified
LA?
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
They went to LA after that, didn't they?
unidentified
Never meant to be so bad teeth.
One thing I said that I would never do.
That's funny.
One look from you, and I would fall from grace.
And that would wipe the smile right from my face.
Do you remember when we used to dance?
And it's a dangerous rulesome circumstance.
One thing led to another we were young.
And we would swim together songs on song.
It was the heat of the moment.
Telling me like your foot meant.
The heat of the moment.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Is that foreigner who sings this song?
Heat of the moment.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Who is it?
unidentified
Asia.
Not Todo, but Asia.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
We've never had a night like that, right?
We've never had a group chat like that.
unidentified
No, no, no.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Very professional operation here.
unidentified
Now, we need some testimony in order to arrest Chef.
So I'm going to use this doll to ask you kids a few questions.
Did Chef ever touch any of you here?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
No.
unidentified
Okay, did he touch you here?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
No!
unidentified
Did he ever do this?
How about this?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
My Uncle Bud did that to me once.
unidentified
Did Chef ever try one of these on for size?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
God damn it, Chef isn't like that.
Something funny is going on here.
unidentified
Young man, will you please pay attention?
This is very important stuff.
I come from a Jewish family, which of course you already know because Kyle's from the same family.
I like to read, and I have these polyps on the backs of my hands.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
I don't know what they are.
I'm not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna make it.
Oh, and I hope one day to be an investment banker.
Must fad it.
Need floaty.
unidentified
That is.
Okay, why don't you go ahead and take a seat, Kyle?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
I wouldn't dance all that are available.
unidentified
I usually prefer the plastic ones because these give me splinters.
I'm sorry, Kyle.
You just have to make do.
Now let's get back to the...
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Is it cold in here?
I realize we're in the mountains, but do we have to freeze today?
unidentified
Now, Kyle, I need you to be quiet.
In my class, you need to be able to concentrate.
Concentration is the key to succeeding in my class.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp.
unidentified
Ah!
Damn it!
That was funny.
I feel honored to be a part of history.
I have a lot of incredible trans friends who are athletes, and so we're all inspired.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
This woman's competing.
unidentified
Uh-huh.
And have you actually ever met Heather Swanson?
No, I've never competed against her before.
No.
She's not exactly your average trans athlete.
Well, what is an average trans athlete?
Honestly, I find that kind of bigoted, David.
Okay.
Heather Swanson is actually joining us now, Miss Swanson.
How does it feel to be competing today?
I can't tell you how free I feel.
Now that I've started identifying as a woman.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
That's the real macho man.
Is that the real macho?
He's dead.
unidentified
And is it correct?
You just started identifying as female two weeks ago.
I'm not here to talk about my transition.
I'm here to kick some fingers.
Let me tell you something, Dingleberry.
David Perry.
I'm gonna roll up the other women here and I'm gonna smoke them.
I am the strongest woman this state has ever seen.
Any words for the challenger and Miss Woman?
Uh, good luck, Heather.
Luck is for dudes.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Feminism.
unidentified
You here for an abortion too?
Yeah, I discovered a few days ago I wasn't bleeding out my coup, so I guess I'm knocked up.
Is this doctor any good?
Mrs. Garrison?
Oh, that's me.
Hello, doctor.
Looks like I need an abortion.
An abortion?
Yeah, I've got one growing inside me.
Now you're gonna scramble its brains or just vacuum it out if you want.
You can just scramble it and I'll queef it out myself.
Mr. Garrison.
Mrs. Garrison?
Mrs. Garrison, you can't have an abortion.
Don't you tell me what I can and can't do with my body?
A woman has a right to choose.
No, I mean you're physically unable to have an abortion because you can't get pregnant.
But I missed my period.
You can't have periods either.
You had a sex change, Mr. Garrison, but you don't have ovaries or a womb.
You don't produce eggs.
You mean I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out?
That's right.
But I paid $5,000 to be a woman.
This would mean I'm not really a woman.
I'm just a.
I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis.
Basically, yes.
Oh, boy, do I feel like a jackass.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Democrats are weird.
They're weird.
unidentified
Flyers rip the savers 14-3.
Randy, do you mind cleaning out the garage like I asked?
What's the point, Sharon?
Soon they're gonna be coming after me.
Ah.
Hey, you.
That's right.
You.
Wouldn't you like to know the story of you?
What makes you you?
DNA and me is a genetic service that can help you find out exactly who your ancestors were.
You might be surprised.
I thought I was just a standard white guy, but DNA and me showed that I'm actually 4.2% Cherokee Indian.
Turns out I'm not totally white.
I'm also part Northern Asian and even some Kurdish.
I'm a victim of oppression.
I used to get in trouble for always using the N-word, but with DNA and me, I found out that I'm 2.1% black.
Morning, Steve.
Sup, n the test is easy.
Goo Come Out? 00:02:01
unidentified
Simply swab the inside of your mouth and send it into our labs.
People made fun of me for being French.
DNA and me showed I was 8% Navajo.
Nobody's making fun of me now, or my people who are victims.
I'm 13% victim.
I'm 21% victim.
Order now and find out if your friends should be more sympathetic towards you.
DNA and me.
Are you in?
Hell yes, I'm in.
dave rubin ▲ ● ▼
Democrats are weird.
unidentified
Come on, down south, my man.
Meet some friends, man.
Hey, Butters, you got a minute?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Sure, Eric.
I don't know what to do.
unidentified
Kids are starting to make fun of me because I'm no good at sarcasm.
I suck at being nice and polite.
I'm so good at sucking, I should work at a Thai massage parlor.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Oh, no, Eric, you're you're a great player.
No, I just don't have the mojo you have, butters.
Oh, well, Eric, I told you.
Everyone has a creamy feeling inside them, where all the feelings of compassion and joy come from.
Oh, didn't your dad ever tell you that?
unidentified
I don't have it, Dad.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
Oh, right.
I'm sorry.
Well, everyone has a creamy feeling, Eric.
And some people have so much of that feeling that it comes out sometimes.
A lot of times when I go to sleep, and especially if I'm having wonderful dreams that make me feel really good, sometimes I wake up, and when I wake up, I realize some of my goo has come out.
Oh, geez, there's a lot this time.
But I always make sure I keep it, just in case I ever run out of all my happy sunshine feelings.
unidentified
You save it all?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
My goo doesn't come out every night, but I sure do seem to have a surplus of it.
unidentified
Butters, do you think your goo might work on someone else?
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
I don't know.
I never really thought of it that way.
unidentified
Oh, God.
Hmm.
matt stone [butters] ▲ ● ▼
It's kind of a grapey, bleachy flavor.
Do you feel warm and compassionate?
Holy sh ⁇ , I think I do.
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