April 26, 2025 - Rubin Report - Dave Rubin
01:20:29
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From the creator that brought you Naked Gun and Airplane, David Zucker. | |
| It's Zucker. | ||
| But I always call him David Zucker. | ||
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Zucker. | |
| But you can call me anything, it's fine. | ||
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And Dave Rubin sit down in an intense interview. | |
| So you did have a guy by the name of O.J. Simpson who was in these things. | ||
| I don't really want to talk about it. | ||
| O.J., the whole O.J. thing. | ||
| If you don't mind, I'll just tell you this. | ||
| You guys decide to do this crazy farce comedy. | ||
| How does that happen? | ||
| We just wanted to make a career out of... | ||
| Being the class of clowns. | ||
| We evolved a very specific style that we would not acknowledge jokes. | ||
| My biggest direction that I gave to actors the most was let the lines do the work. | ||
| So to get to Naked Gun, so Airplane crushes it. | ||
| I have the numbers here. | ||
| $3.5 million budget. | ||
| It made over $170 million. | ||
| So at that point, you guys are feeling great. | ||
| And that's what I say. | ||
| All my flops are classics. | ||
| I never had a flop. | ||
| I don't hear from my manager. | ||
| I don't hear from my agent. | ||
| Then I wake up to read that Naked Gun 4 is being done with Seth MacFarlane has taken over the franchise. | ||
| So that you never got a no, you just never heard back from him. | ||
| Never heard back. | ||
| I don't think the studios get humor anymore. | ||
| They don't know what good or bad is. | ||
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*music* | |
| Today I'm sitting down with legendary director, writer, producer of some of the funniest movies of all time, Airplane, Naked Gun, and many more, David Zucker. | ||
| But first, an important public service announcement. | ||
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Whether we know it or not, chemicals play an important and ever-increasing role in our daily lives. | |
| One of the most widely used and oldest chemical compounds is zinc oxide. | ||
| This policeman. | ||
| This farmer. | ||
| And this housewife don't realize it, but they all depend on zinc oxide in their daily lives. | ||
| But how do I use zinc oxide? | ||
| If it weren't for zinc oxide, you wouldn't have that bar of soap. | ||
| The dish towels you use every day. | ||
| Your toaster. | ||
| That brassiere you're wearing. | ||
| Your kitchen sink. | ||
| Those curtain rods. | ||
| The shelves in your refrigerator. | ||
| Metal hooks. | ||
| The heat control on your stove. | ||
| The safety catch on your son's rifle. | ||
| That fire extinguisher. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| The emergency brake on your car. | ||
| All breaks. | ||
| All breaks. | ||
| That blanket. | ||
| How about sand? | ||
| Yes? | ||
| Sand. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Your husband's pacemaker. | ||
| Your artificial limb. | ||
| Yes? | ||
| Zinc oxide at work in our daily lives. | ||
| Watch for science series number seven, Rebuilding Your Home. | ||
| And now to a very special episode of the Rubin Report. | ||
| We're going to bludgeon you with your life history right now, David. | ||
| This is going to be a lot for you. | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| Yes, Mr. Ralph Edwards. | ||
| We're going to take... | ||
| There's an old reference. | ||
| Nobody knows what I was talking about. | ||
| There is literally zero chance. | ||
| Yeah, no, no chance. | ||
| They just think you made up a name right here. | ||
| Yeah, but the average age of your audience is deceased, though, right? | ||
| We have a very old, old audience. | ||
| Then I'm fine. | ||
| Remember the Mickey Mouse Club? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, first off, let me tell you, I normally do interviews with... | ||
| You know, prime ministers and presidents and all these people. | ||
| And I don't need any paper. | ||
| I have never had this much paper in front of me. | ||
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Oh, yeah. | |
| And such a contrast. | ||
| I mean, I don't know anything. | ||
| Well, we're going to see about it. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| So that clip, which I have shown to everyone in my life, four billion times zinc oxide, from your first movie, Kentucky Fried movie, like, first, let's just, before we get into your history and all the movies and everything else, like, what is it like for you to watch old clips? | ||
| Because people must, I know, we've had dinner many times, and I drill you with the references. | ||
| Is it just at some point you want to just start strangling people? | ||
| No, I mean, the good stuff, I mean, this was a good bit, but what I want to do is re-edit everything. | ||
| I want to re-cut the whole movie and cut out a lot of... | ||
| Jokes that I don't think were done well are still funny. | ||
| And in that movie, I mean, the whole movie was a giant edit, basically, because you're just jumping from scene to scene. | ||
| Yeah, and it was no plot. | ||
| Did people think you were completely insane? | ||
| We're talking about a Kentucky Fried movie, obviously. | ||
| Did people think you guys were nuts? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| It's not a movie. | ||
| It's more of, like, just changing channels. | ||
| I don't know what people thought. | ||
| I mean, we got some really bad reviews. | ||
| I mean, there was some good reviews, but... | ||
| Like Rex Reed said, you know, someone named John Landis directed this piece of garbage. | ||
| And, you know, it worked out for John Landis. | ||
| It did. | ||
| You know, he had a good career. | ||
| It was like his career was done at the time because he had just done a movie called Schlock, which he did with $60,000 of family money. | ||
| And he was writing James Bond extra dialogue for Cubby Broccoli over at Fox. | ||
| But he was the only director we knew because I saw him on Johnny Carson. | ||
| And so I called him up. | ||
| That's actually true? | ||
| You were like, that's the one guy I can think of? | ||
| Well, we didn't know anybody. | ||
| So I called him. | ||
| And the first thing he said, how did you get this number? | ||
| I said, well, the distributor was listed on the movie poster. | ||
| And he started quacking. | ||
| I finally calmed him down. | ||
| I said, I don't want anything from you. | ||
| I just want... | ||
| To invite you to see our show. | ||
| And we were doing our Kentucky Fried Theater show called My Nose, which was on Pico. | ||
| We did it on Pico Boulevard. | ||
| So it was a live show. | ||
| Yeah, and we called it that because our weekly LA Times calendar listing would say, My Nose runs continuously. | ||
| So, you know, that passed for humor at that time, yeah. | ||
| So let's, before we do all the movies and all the clips and all of this, if I get out of this thing without a paper cut, it's gonna be a miracle. | ||
| You're from Milwaukee. | ||
| Normal kid. | ||
| Normal brother. | ||
| You guys decide to do this crazy farce comedy. | ||
| How does that happen? | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, actually, we weren't even the funniest. | ||
| Characters in our class. | ||
| I mean, there were 10 guys who were really, really funny. | ||
| It's just that they found jobs when they graduated. | ||
| And we just wanted to make a career out of being the class clowns. | ||
| And we started out just really small. | ||
| We had a little theater in the back of a bookstore in Madison, right off the campus. | ||
| And we did a show called Vegetables. | ||
| And that was a big hit. | ||
| And then we did another show. | ||
| That same year called The Entire History of the Whole World, which was a year before Mel Brooks did his. | ||
| Are you saying Mel Brooks maybe visited Milwaukee? | ||
| No, nobody ever visited Milwaukee. | ||
| Sometimes things are just... | ||
| We did another bit on stage that Woody Allen did in one of his movies, but nobody copies anybody except for Naked Gun 4. Oh, we will get to that. | ||
| We will get to that. | ||
| I'll be good. | ||
| I'll be good. | ||
| Because you are not involved. | ||
| I'm going to give a little teaser now. | ||
| Just tease it. | ||
| You are not involved in the rebooted Naked Gun that is coming out. | ||
| There's a great story behind it. | ||
| We'll get to that in a little bit. | ||
| We're going to make them wait. | ||
| So you guys do Kentucky Fried Movie. | ||
| Did it do well box office-wise? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It only cost $600,000 to make. | ||
| And that's our catering budget. | ||
| And so, and it opens and it makes back its entire budget in the first weekend. | ||
| And the head of the, what wasn't the studio, it was United Artists Theatre Circuit, an exhibitor chain up in San Francisco, and this very scary Egyptian guy named Saleh Hassanine ran it. | ||
| And he was just, you know, he backed our attorney into a corner once, and, you know, about the deal and everything. | ||
| And then suddenly he calls us up. | ||
| On Sunday night, and he said, oh, boys, you are wonderful! | ||
| So everything was great, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so then from that, Airplane comes... | ||
| Well, we had actually written Airplane before we did Kentucky Fried Movie. | ||
| We couldn't sell it. | ||
| We even called Robert Stack's agent saying... | ||
| Oh, right, I read that. | ||
| Because the one guy in Airplane that we needed, the part of Rex Kramer, had to be... | ||
| Robert Stack. | ||
| So we called his agent and we said, oh, we're from Milwaukee and we did this movie and we want Robert Stack to play the lead. | ||
| And he said, is this a go picture? | ||
| And we said, what's a go picture? | ||
| And he said, come back when you have the money. | ||
| And we did, you know, years later. | ||
| And he was still hard to get. | ||
| And I think in the book it talks about how his wife, basically, his wife loved it. | ||
| Peter Graves' wife loved it. | ||
| Peter Graves did not like the script. | ||
| He threw it across the room and said, this is the worst piece of trash I've ever read. | ||
| Was the hardest part trying to get these guys who were serious actors, and obviously we'll talk about Leslie in a minute, but that these guys, Robert Stack, there was a reason you wanted him because he plays it so straight and so hardcore and everything he does, but to try to even get them to mentally be like, oh, this is going to be funny, | ||
| but you're not really supposed to be funny. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know if they got the, they didn't get the script. | ||
| Other actors read it who turned it down and thought, this is just a collection of puns. | ||
| And it was, but... | ||
| In this context, you know, with the serious actors, you know, it somehow worked. | ||
| How did you come up with that idea, that you could just do joke after joke after joke, but still within a story that was going to make sense? | ||
| Because that wasn't what Kentucky Fried Movie was, obviously. | ||
| But then, yeah, the pace came from our show, and we were on stage. | ||
| We weren't really actors. | ||
| We weren't comics, but... | ||
| We could play it straight. | ||
| And we never wanted to be on stage when they weren't laughing. | ||
| We hated silence. | ||
| So that kind of equated to three jokes a minute. | ||
| Well, I've got a lot of clips here, and now we're going to start bludgeoning you. | ||
| You ready? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And it was impossible to pick these. | ||
| Dave, our deal was that you wouldn't show clips. | ||
| Yeah, but I read and egged on the deal. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Other people have said that about you. | ||
| All right, let's go to the cockpit scene in Airplane. | ||
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Ever been in a cockpit before? | |
| No, sir, I've never been up in a plane before. | ||
| You ever seen a grown man naked? | ||
| Do you want me to check the weather, Clarence? | ||
| No, why don't you take care of it? | ||
| Joey, do you ever hang around the gymnasium? | ||
| We'd better get back now, Joey. | ||
| No, Joey can stay here for a while if he'd like. | ||
| Could I? | ||
| Okay, if you don't get in the way. | ||
| Flight 209 into Denver Radio. | ||
| Climbing to cruise at 42,000. | ||
| We'll report again over Lincoln. | ||
| Over and out. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I know you. | ||
| You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. | ||
| You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers. | ||
| I'm sorry, son, but you must have me confused with someone else. | ||
| My name is Roger Murdoch. | ||
| I'm the co-pilot. | ||
| You are, Kareem. | ||
| I've seen you play. | ||
| My dad's got season tickets. | ||
| I think you should go back to your seat now, Joey. | ||
| Bye, Clarence. | ||
| No, he's not bothering anyone. | ||
| Let him stay here. | ||
| All right, but just remember, my name is Roger Murdoch. | ||
| I'm an airline pilot. | ||
| I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. | ||
| And he says that lots of times you don't even run down court. | ||
| And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs. | ||
| The hell I don't. | ||
| Listen to you. | ||
| I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. | ||
| I'm out there busting my buns every night. | ||
| Tell your old man to drag Walton in the near up and down the court for 48 minutes. | ||
| Joey, you like movies about gladiators. | ||
| Have you ever been to a Turkish prison? | ||
| I mean, there's just so much there. | ||
| First off, the juxtaposition of Peter Graves, this very serious guy. | ||
| You guys somehow bring in Kareem. | ||
| Where in the world did that even all come from? | ||
| We just wanted to take the piss out of any normal airplane disaster movie. | ||
| And the image of airline pilots in movies is these pristine white guys who are just totally squeaky clean. | ||
| And then it turns out he's a pedophile. | ||
| I mean, that was our first thought. | ||
| But you really, when you talk about this in the book, I mean, you guys had to nail that because it doesn't come off creepy. | ||
| He's obviously, it's all weirdly sexual, obviously, but it's somehow, like, done that you feel clean after or something. | ||
| That was the most precise directions we've ever given an actor because if you go and watch it again, it says, Joey, have you ever, you know, it's just like he... | ||
| And then, you know, we just said, you have to turn, look at him, say the line, look back, you know, really precise. | ||
| Usually we don't give that precise directions for anything. | ||
| And how did Kareem get involved in this whole thing? | ||
| Well, actually, we couldn't get Pete Rose. | ||
| But that was a very fortunate occurrence. | ||
| Because he was, somehow we didn't think of Kareem. | ||
| We thought... | ||
| Pete Rose, and it didn't go into anything personal. | ||
| It was before the gambling stuff. | ||
| Oh, so he was just going to play? | ||
| Yeah, we were shooting during summer, and he was managing and playing with the Redlegs, I guess. | ||
| Is that the team? | ||
| He was on the Reds. | ||
| Yeah, on the Reds. | ||
| So then we went to Kareem, and the trouble with Kareem, Kareem read the script, and we heard that he just passed. | ||
| He turned it down. | ||
| And so our producer, our executive producer, Howard Koch, called his agent and said, what the hell's going on? | ||
| Why doesn't he want it? | ||
| He said, well... | ||
| Kareem wants $5,000 more. | ||
| There's a rug that he wants, and I keep a close watch on his finances. | ||
| And he wants to buy this rug. | ||
| It's $30,000. | ||
| You're offering him $25,000. | ||
| And so we just gave him the $30,000. | ||
| And we just thought this was the most clever agent. | ||
| You know, it's another clever agent. | ||
| A couple of months later, in Time Magazine, they did a feature on Kareem, and he's displaying this rug. | ||
| He was very proud of the rug. | ||
| Yeah, he was very proud of the rug that he bought from the airplane. | ||
| Did he ever invite you to the house to see the rug? | ||
| No. | ||
| You know, I just... | ||
| That really makes you wonder. | ||
| Yeah, I've been invited here more times than Kareem. | ||
| But we were invited to Robert Stack's house, yeah. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| And he had these stools that were elephants' feet. | ||
| Literal elephant's feet. | ||
| Literal elephant's feet. | ||
| Yeah, and you could sit on them. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| You could get away with that in Hollywood? | ||
| In those days, yes. | ||
| This was the early 80s. | ||
| Before it went completely psychotic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We'll talk a bit about how psychotic Hollywood has gone when we get to the... | ||
| Oh yeah, we can talk about that. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to talk about that. | ||
| So when Peter Graves shoots this, and we'll get to Leslie in a second, and Robert Stack, did they realize it was funny at the time? | ||
| So you give them lies, they're playing it straight, but were they like, what the hell am I doing when you're on set? | ||
| Did they feel like it was working? | ||
| Well, Peter Graves knew it was supposed to be funny, but he really didn't have much faith that it would work, and he was taking a big risk, because when he first read the script, I later learned from being a director that when you're casting actors, | ||
| all they do is read their own parts. | ||
| So Peter Graves didn't read the whole script. | ||
| He just read his own parts. | ||
| And I think it appeared to him that he was playing a pedophile. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| But our executive producer, Howard Koch, this old line, he was the president of the Academy, past president of Paramount. | ||
| I said, Peter... | ||
| Come in and meet the guys, the boys, as we were. | ||
| So, you know, we had him into the office at Paramount, and I think we kind of surprised him because we were just very preppy Wisconsin guys, not the drugged out, you know, guys that he, weirdos that he expected. | ||
| So, and then Stack, Stack, I guess he thought it was funny, but he just, he knew he'd be making fun of himself, and he just, He just wasn't sure. | ||
| He didn't want to be the oldest, the only one. | ||
| So he said, who else is coming to the party? | ||
| So we were able to tell him Graves, Nielsen. | ||
| So then it made sense. | ||
| Then it made sense because he'd have other people. | ||
| But Stack really got it. | ||
| He knew exactly because Lloyd Bridges didn't get it. | ||
| And Lloyd Bridges was trying to make sense out of his dialogue and also playing it kind of winking in the rehearsals. | ||
| And Stack finally said, Lloyd, Just, you know, they're not looking at us. | ||
| Spears are hitting the wall. | ||
| Watermelons are crashing in behind us. | ||
| Just keep talking. | ||
| Just keep talking, Lloyd. | ||
| Yeah, I just think it's so interesting because if you go to a comedy set now, you know, it's all these comics on set and all these people that are at least purported to be funny, where you had all these like kind of serious people on set and you're making the most ludicrous thing ever. | ||
| So just like the tone of the set just had to be just so wildly different. | ||
| Well, it's a complete departure, the whole thing. | ||
| And that's why the actors, very rightly, were a little bit nervous about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, uh, but, uh... | ||
| Stack was great. | ||
| He just got right into it. | ||
| And Lloyd got into it. | ||
| But I always think that when you look at Lloyd's performance, there's a little bit, it's 2% of winking. | ||
| Where with Leslie, you can't tell at all. | ||
| Stack, you can't tell. | ||
| Graves is completely straight. | ||
| And then, but Lloyd was great, and just because, you know, his lines were great, and he was good. | ||
| So in Hot Shots, he was... | ||
| Playing the president with Jim Abrams, and it was terrific. | ||
| Right, and that basically, although you didn't do Hot Shots yourself, your brother did, but... | ||
| No, Jim Abrams did. | ||
| Jim Abrams did, sorry. | ||
| And Pat Proft. | ||
| Right, who you worked with. | ||
| Pat Proft has worked on everything, even since Kentucky Fried Theater. | ||
| And they really killed it with Bridges basically predicting Joe Biden, you know, the president's brain is completely gone. | ||
| Yeah, it was unbelievable, yeah. | ||
| Let's let Lloyd Bridges show it himself. | ||
| Good idea. | ||
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Good idea. | |
| So that's what you mean by he winked a little bit more, where you can see it's not... | ||
| It's a little bit... | ||
| You know, I like to have the actors do it as though they don't realize they're in a comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, alright, so let's get to Leslie, because when I found out years ago, you talk about this in the book, obviously, and now people know, when I found out years ago that Leslie was not always a comic actor, I could not believe it, because I only knew him from Airplane and Naked Gun. | ||
| And yet you plucked this guy who really had done a... | ||
| Almost like a 40-year career of serious cop movies and murder mysteries and all of this stuff. | ||
| Had he literally done anything with humor in it at all that you know of before that? | ||
| Not that we knew of. | ||
| However, when we met him in our interview, he said, well, you know, I did a MASH. | ||
| And we, oh, God, we'll pretend we didn't do that. | ||
| Not a MASH guy? | ||
| Not a MASH guy? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I love MASH, but we didn't want any comedy. | ||
| In it. | ||
| So, you know, had he been on anything, I didn't want to have any comedy in the whole thing. | ||
| And Robert Stack, all I knew him from was from his movies and TV shows. | ||
| And I just figured he was as humorless a human as he was in the movies. | ||
| But, you know, he comes out of the set, he's fun, he's... | ||
| He kept telling stories about being directed by Spielberg in 1942, it was called. | ||
| Oh, in the movie 1942. | ||
| Definitely without a year 1942. | ||
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No, no. | |
| He was in the movie 1942, and he thought that would be a big... | ||
| That hadn't been released yet. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Well, here is Leslie. | ||
| There's a million Leslie lines, but this is the one. | ||
| Well, the book is the line, and everyone knows this line, and I have done it on the show a million times, and I tweet it once a week, and everything else. | ||
| Here's Leslie. | ||
| Okay. | ||
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Can you fly this plane and land it? | |
| Surely you can't be serious. | ||
| I am serious. | ||
| And don't call me Shirley. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| That became a famous line, I guess. | ||
| But were you shocked that that was the line that, like, really, of all of the lines, that's the one that probably is more quoted than anything else over and over 40-plus years later? | ||
| It became emblematic of the whole movie, I guess. | ||
| And, you know, Jerry and Jim and I don't even remember who thought of it. | ||
| We don't remember which individual joke was thought of by whom. | ||
| Is that general for all the jokes? | ||
| For all the jokes and all the movies we did together, we never considered that personal credit was important. | ||
| And so that's how collaboration works best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is when we do no personal ownership. | ||
| So when you now see Leslie just crushing it in this thing, were you already like, oh, this is a guy we've got to build some other stuff around? | ||
| No, we didn't. | ||
| Our first thought when we did Police Squad was Robert Stack. | ||
| We actually thought Robert Stack. | ||
| Wait, so what year did Police Squad come out? | ||
| 82. So this is like, what, that's about three years after Airplane? | ||
| No, five years? | ||
| Two years after Airplane. | ||
| But Stack was busy doing Unsolved Mysteries or something, so we went to Leslie, and Leslie was game. | ||
| It really turned out to be the best choice. | ||
| He was... | ||
| You know, things were always corrected for us by, I don't know whom, but, you know, we just, we've had that kind of luck. | ||
| But it wasn't always luck, because sometimes Pete Rose couldn't do it. | ||
| Right, but Police Squad, which now people can watch on YouTube, it only had, what, six episodes? | ||
| Six episodes, and the only... | ||
| It only aired for four in its original run. | ||
| They couldn't cancel it fast enough. | ||
| And, you know, the critics were actually... | ||
| For people that don't realize, and we'll play a little B-roll of it, Police Squad basically is the sitcom that... | ||
| I know you don't love the word sitcom. | ||
| What would you call it? | ||
| It was a sitcom. | ||
| Yeah, it was a sitcom. | ||
| I know you don't like canned laughter sitcom. | ||
| But in those days, you couldn't do anything without canned laughter. | ||
| I think MASH may have been... | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| I think MASH did have it. | ||
| Probably did, yeah. | ||
| But we were doing a comedy without canned laughter, and we had a meeting with Tony Thermopolis, the head of ABC, and we actually felt bad for him, because he was right. | ||
| It needed a laugh track to be successful, but... | ||
| We couldn't admit that it was funny. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it was wickedly funny, and you did all of these crazy things. | ||
| Like, I remember seeing Police Squad after I had seen Naked Gun, so I'm going back and watching. | ||
| And just even the way you guys would do things with the cameras where they'd be walking through the office, and the camera would see the other side of the wall, like, showing people you're on a set. | ||
| And you didn't acknowledge, obviously, you don't acknowledge it or anything. | ||
| Like, all of these, it wasn't just the jokes. | ||
| There were things that you were doing in terms of how you filmed it also that were... | ||
| We evolved a very specific style that we would not acknowledge jokes. | ||
| The characters would be non-comedians. | ||
| My biggest direction that I gave to actors the most was let the lines do the work. | ||
| You know, when I first met with Priscilla Presley in the first table read of Naked Gun, she was very nervous. | ||
| She said, I don't know how to be funny. | ||
| And I said, you don't have to be funny. | ||
| And I just kind of blurted out, let the lines do the work. | ||
| And she understood it. | ||
| And I'm telling you, I did not need to direct her at all. | ||
| She really had it naturally, just to play that character. | ||
| So to get to Naked Guns, so Airplane crushes it. | ||
| I have the numbers here. | ||
| I mean, the numbers are insane. | ||
| You guys had a $3.5 million budget. | ||
| It made over $170 million. | ||
| So at that point, you guys are feeling great. | ||
| Suddenly, everyone loved the freaking movie. | ||
| It made a ton of money. | ||
| You're in Hollywood now, basically. | ||
| Paramount was not expecting this. | ||
| It was a routine programmer for the studio. | ||
| And because of that, it was such a surprise. | ||
| They couldn't hide the money fast enough. | ||
| So, you know, we actually did see profit, and we actually sent out a, you know, in questionable taste announcement, engraved thing, saying, Zucker and Zucker are pleased to announce the receipt of the first $2 million in profit participation of the movie. | ||
| So, you know, we would just do this stuff. | ||
| Who did you send that to? | ||
| Everybody in Hollywood. | ||
| Every agent, you know. | ||
| Studio. | ||
| In case they hadn't heard. | ||
| In case they hadn't heard, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so Airplane crushes it. | ||
| Then you do Police Squad, but Police Squad only gets four of the six out. | ||
| Were you like, oh man, maybe we lost it? | ||
| Like, that just wasn't going to translate? | ||
| Or was it that you felt maybe it didn't translate to TV? | ||
| We absolutely knew that it didn't translate to TV because we would go to places where they were showing it and there were crowds of people watching it. | ||
| I was shocked that people would, you know, talk to each other, you know, and they would be talking through jokes. | ||
| Or the phone, I mean, that's the way people watch TV. | ||
| It's radio with pictures. | ||
| So I said, no, we don't have a chance. | ||
| And the critics were kind of angry because of this, you know, Philistine network canceled this great show that they thought. | ||
| And Tony Thermopolis had to have a... | ||
| And he said, police squad didn't work because you had to watch it. | ||
| And he wasn't wrong. | ||
| You know how much Naked Gun has affected my entire life. | ||
| I mean, when I watch it back, it's all the pieces. | ||
| All the pieces are there that then you were able to put the leg and set together. | ||
| Right, and we used some of the best, our favorite jokes from Police Squad. | ||
| Did you feel like you were stealing from yourself? | ||
| No, we just thought nobody saw these because the show failed. | ||
| It flopped. | ||
| It was canceled so we could use those jokes. | ||
| And we did in the first Naked Gun. | ||
| We used all my favorite jokes. | ||
| Okay, so... | ||
| Before we get to Naked Gun, which literally changed my life, and I saw it when I was in seventh grade in the theater, and then I was like, I could not believe that anything could possibly be that funny. | ||
| You do a couple other things in the meantime. | ||
| You do Top Secret, which was still similar in style, and it also didn't do that well. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, we thought Top Secret would be huge. | ||
| We were thinking, who's not going to see this? | ||
| This is the greatest thing ever. | ||
| You know, it contains some of the cleverest, funniest jokes we've ever done. | ||
| But what we learned later was that it was kind of our fault. | ||
| We neglected to give Val Kilmer a character. | ||
| And we learned later that it's easier in television. | ||
| You can do a half hour and get away with crazy stuff. | ||
| But in a movie where people have to sit for, you know, actually three half hours usually, The first half hour, you have to establish a character with a problem. | ||
| And then the second act, he works on solving the problem. | ||
| And the third act, he solves the problem. | ||
| And we did it completely right in Airplane because Arthur Haley wrote, we did an adaptation of Zero Hour, 1957 black and white noir movie. | ||
| All right, so Top Secret doesn't crush it. | ||
| Now... | ||
| But it's since. | ||
| It's, like, now it's a classic. | ||
| And that's what I say. | ||
| All my flops are classics. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I never had a flop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they somehow become something unto themselves. | ||
| Yeah, like, Basketball is another one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, we'll get to it. | ||
| But did Basketball not do well originally? | ||
| Did not do well, yeah. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right, that's a great movie, too. | ||
| So, all right, so hold on. | ||
| So then, okay, so now, top secret. | ||
| It doesn't do that well. | ||
| This is on the heels of Police Squad not doing that well. | ||
| So now the studios basically hand you something. | ||
| Was that weird for you? | ||
| To be like, oh, I'm going to do something that we didn't have the entire Genesis out? | ||
| We were so lost. | ||
| We had a friend of ours pitch that we wanted to do another movie because we thought, well, we're good at movies, so we should pitch something. | ||
| So a friend of ours came in and gave us an idea. | ||
| I don't think we even understood it. | ||
| I mean, we were so lost. | ||
| We went into Disney to pitch it to Eisner and Katzenberg, and we do this whole pitch, and Eisner looks at Katzenberg and said, they're kidding, right? | ||
| It was the most embarrassing thing ever. | ||
| Wait, which script was that? | ||
| It was called... | ||
| Bachelor of the Month. | ||
| Oh, so this is something that was never even made. | ||
| Never made. | ||
| No, it was horrible. | ||
| So this is what gets you to ruthless people, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so we go out into the parking lot, and we just fell on the pavement laughing. | ||
| That was like the end of Top Secret. | ||
| And so we didn't know what to do, so Katzenberg called. | ||
| He said, I've got the script by Dale Launer called. | ||
| Ruthless People wasn't a spoof. | ||
| It's a farce, and it would star, you know, comic actors like Bette Midler and Danny DeVito. | ||
| Not just like them, you actually got them. | ||
| Well, we went through some other, you know, we actually flew to New York and met with Madonna. | ||
| She could have done that part. | ||
| I think maybe that could have worked. | ||
| Maybe? | ||
| Yeah, who knows? | ||
| But she was nice. | ||
| Here's part of the trailer. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Meet Mr. Stone. | |
| He wanted to kill Mrs. Stone. | ||
| My only regret, Carol, is that the plan isn't more violent. | ||
| Until something wonderful happened. | ||
| Mr. Stone, we have kidnapped your wife. | ||
| Imagine someone demanding money from me to keep Barbara alive! | ||
| Idiots! | ||
| Now he's doing everything inhumanly possible so she'll never come back. | ||
| Don't you consider throwing a body off a cliff in the dead of nine violence? | ||
| Nah, she'll be unconscious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's going to pay. | |
| He's going to pay. | ||
| Bad chance! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna drop the price to $10,000. | |
| I'm being marked down? | ||
| That woman ain't coming back. | ||
| When I look at that, it's like, that to me is sort of like the beginning of the 80s making 500 movies that were all basically good comedies with good actors. | ||
| Yeah, and it was a nice experience. | ||
| You know, and Bette and Danny were great. | ||
| And they were funny. | ||
| I mean, we could actually turn the camera on them and they would... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| New experience. | ||
| But did it feel weird to you in that you didn't write it and that you were just handing it? | ||
| Well, we wrote on a lot of it. | ||
| You know, maybe a quarter of it. | ||
| We didn't write it ourselves, but we took Dale through a rewrite. | ||
| I think we added the whole videotape plot that Bill Pullman played a guy. | ||
| And the reason why he looks like that with his hair, Uh, color like that is because he came into his reading, to the reading, uh, looking like that because he was, he was growing out his, he had dyed his hair for something and he was halfway through. | ||
| Anyways, he looked funny. | ||
| So we said, keep it that way. | ||
| Okay, so now you get through Ruthless People. | ||
| Does this get us to Naked Gun? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did anything else happen in your life? | ||
| I don't know, maybe you had a kid, or I don't know. | ||
| Now you're making some money. | ||
| No, you're still far away from being married. | ||
| Okay, so you're single. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You've had some hits, some things that weren't quite a hit. | ||
| No, Ruthless People was a hit. | ||
| Yeah, Ruthless People was a hit. | ||
| So then we thought, but then, even though Ruthless People was a hit, you know, our deal didn't throw any money off. | ||
| We didn't get any profit. | ||
| Participation. | ||
| So then we decided, why don't we direct? | ||
| By this time, we didn't want to carry three guys around on every movie. | ||
| So we decided we'll go off on our own. | ||
| And so I wanted to do Naked Gun. | ||
| And so the four of us wrote it. | ||
| Jerry, Jim, me, and Pat Prof. And I directed it. | ||
| That's how Naked Gun happened. | ||
| Did the studios think you were nuts that you were going back to a show that had six episodes and only four even aired? | ||
| Like, why were they like, okay, let's do this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it was the easiest pitch we ever had. | |
| Frank Mancuso had taken over at Paramount. | ||
| And boy, I mean, Eisner and Katzenberg were great. | ||
| And then Frank Mancuso takes over. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| I had nothing but great executives in those days. | ||
| We just pitched it to him. | ||
| We want to do Police Squad as a movie. | ||
| And he said, sure, do it. | ||
| God, that's great. | ||
| And Leslie was on board immediately. | ||
| Leslie was on board immediately. | ||
| Yes, I saw it probably opening weekend. | ||
| It was probably summer of 89. Does that sound about right to you? | ||
| Let's really test the limits. | ||
| Here, we're going to test the limits. | ||
| Summer of 88. It was summer. | ||
| Was it summer of 88? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that right? | |
| Yeah, that sounds right to me. | ||
| So I'm 12 years old. | ||
| I see this thing, sold out theater. | ||
| I've told you this a million times. | ||
| I will never forget. | ||
| I was sitting in an aisle seat and there was a huge fat man sitting in front of me. | ||
| And during the scene when Leslie's in, when Drebin is in Ludwig's office and he pulls down, you know, he's catching all the stuff and the piano's playing. | ||
| And then eventually the concrete dildo, the man, everyone was laughing so hard, the fat man fell out of his chair and rolled down the aisle. | ||
| I remember thinking, nothing could possibly be funnier than this. | ||
| Like, it fully changed my life. | ||
| It worked. | ||
| I can see you feeling very awkward as I'm saying that, because you're like, what could have your... | ||
| Yeah, without Naked Gun. | ||
| They were all fun. | ||
| I would do it for nothing. | ||
| I mean, I need to pay my mortgage. | ||
| Let's make you watch a scene from Naked Gun. | ||
| Let's go to the end of Naked Gun first. | ||
| I mean, the whole baseball scene, there's so much of it, but let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
On behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, on the occasion of Her Majesty's royal visit, please welcome internationally renowned opera star Enrico Palazzo. | |
| So, ladies and gentlemen, let us honor America as Mr. Pulasso will now sing our national anthem. | ||
| Oh, Shane, can you see by the dawn's early light What | ||
| so proudly we hailed in the skylight's light? | ||
| The light's light gleaming Whose bright stripes and bright stars In the perilous night On our ramparts we watched | ||
| And the rocket's red glare But above the sun in the air Gave proof | ||
| to the night That we still had our way The say does the rain Tried a banner way Over all the extremes | ||
| We're the home of the land And the land of the free We're the home of the land | ||
| I mean, there's just so much there. | ||
| I mean, first of all, George Kennedy's there, obviously. | ||
| Ricardo Montalban was cast so freaking perfectly. | ||
| Was that kind of the same way as Robert Stack and some of the other guys? | ||
| Like, he was a serious guy in a Cadillac before that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was it a Cadillac? | ||
| What was the car? | ||
| Maybe Corinthian leather. | ||
| Chrysler. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, soft Corinthian leather. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I don't think we made any jokes on the set about that. | ||
| Not that made it to the movie. | ||
| There was a joke that he didn't want to do. | ||
| He said, he's, Leslie says, he's recuperating. | ||
| The name of the hospital was Our Lady of the Never Had the Pickle. | ||
| And so that became Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. | ||
| Because Ricardo thought he's a devout Catholic. | ||
| And so he wanted to. | ||
| Change, and so we did. | ||
| Yeah, there's also a great, which maybe we'll add, maybe we'll do it as the cold close of the show, but there's a great cutscene from the movie where when Leslie goes to visit O.J. Simpson, who we'll talk about in a moment, Nordberg in the hospital, but it gets cut out of the original movie where he rushes to the nurse and he tells her, | ||
| call in, call in, there's a murder or something, call in, there's an attempted murder, call in a 405, and he can't remember the number that he's telling them. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And they go through, like, this laundry list of things, and are you saying there's a regicide? | ||
| A queen has been killed? | ||
| Like, it was just like... | ||
| Is that in the... | ||
| That wasn't in the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it didn't. | |
| I think it was in the extra... | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, you had great stuff that didn't even make it into the movie. | ||
| Well, I mean, it didn't get a laugh. | ||
| That's why it's not in the movie. | ||
| But it's funny. | ||
| Yeah, I guess it's funny. | ||
| Good thing they saved that stuff. | ||
| Okay, so, all right, so Leslie's back in. | ||
| I mean, just the opening scene, of course, the opening scene which takes place in Lebanon, which is probably more politically incorrect now, maybe, than it was even back then. | ||
| Just all brilliant. | ||
| And you did this on, what was the budget? | ||
| Oh, $14.5 million. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And how much did Aikagan make? | ||
| That also made $80 million, $82 million, something like that. | ||
| Yeah, so just like... | ||
| And then it makes it as much foreign internationally as it did. | ||
| So that was a huge profit for Paramount. | ||
| So you did have a guy by the name of O.J. Simpson who was in these things. | ||
| He played Nordberg. | ||
| He played Frank Drebin's partner. | ||
| This is a few years before he got famous for other reasons. | ||
| But first, why did you choose? | ||
| Before we show a clip, why did you choose O.J.? | ||
| And you had this thing with athletes, and you've done this with Shaq and other movies. | ||
| Aside from that, I don't really want to talk about it. | ||
| O.J., the whole O.J. thing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| If you don't mind, I'll just tell you this. | ||
| The last time I saw him was at the wrap party for The Last Naked Gun. | ||
| I said goodbye, shook hands, I sold him my knife collection, and that was the last that I saw him. | ||
| I never saw him again. | ||
| Okay, that's the one. | ||
| You were scaring me, Zucker! | ||
| Zucker! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That was the last time you saw them, the knife collection. | ||
| Anyways, your question was, why did we cast them? | ||
| We needed a celebrity. | ||
| I think sports stars are very economical. | ||
| You don't pay them an arm and a leg. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Whereas we actually did in Airplane, we said... | ||
| You're not the character. | ||
| You're a sports star. | ||
| We didn't do that with O.J. We just, you know, because we had done that joke. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| I don't want to do the same joke over again. | ||
| So, but he was, you know, he wasn't bad. | ||
| He actually improved with each movie. | ||
| I mean, you know, actually his acting was a lot like his murdering. | ||
| He got away with it, but no one believed him. | ||
| Here's his opening scene in Naked Gun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. That was good. | |
| That was good. | ||
| That was good. | ||
| guns! Kill him. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| Oh, s-. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| And that's the guy you sold the knives to? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, who knew at the time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So Naked Gun, just huge hit. | ||
| Again, you're feeling good about all these things. | ||
| Should I show you something else from Naked Gun? | ||
| Do you want to see another one, Naked Gun? | ||
| Let's do Punch Up. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Let's jump to Naked Gun 3 for a second. | ||
| So you do two and a half. | ||
| Do you have a favorite of the three of them? | ||
| Oh, the first one. | ||
| The first one's the best. | ||
| And then the second one. | ||
| I did not direct the third one. | ||
| But, you know, it still has, you know, one of the best. | ||
| Endings we've ever done. | ||
| The Oscars, I think. | ||
| Yeah, so let's throw that. | ||
| And you do make a cameo in the third one. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I actually get to play a scene with Leslie Nielsen. | ||
| Yeah, you are a cameo. | ||
| Wait, do you have snot on your shoe? | ||
| Are you the one who had snot on your shoe? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or you're just the cameraman? | ||
| No, I was the guy with the camera, the teleprompter man. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, right. | |
| You're pointing to that point. | ||
| Okay, so let's jump for a second to Naked Gun 33 and a Third, and we'll go to the... | ||
| This is just like, you just guys did everything at once in the end at the Academy Awards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You kind of look like Phil Donahue. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the guy! | ||
| Get him! | ||
| Get him! | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome internationally renowned actress and singing star, Pia Zadora. | ||
| You're walking along the street or you're at a party. | ||
| There he is! | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| Isn't that snot on your show? | ||
| Snot? | ||
| Oh, Austin! | ||
| You've got to be here someplace. | ||
| I'll stay here, you check the wings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This could be the start of something big. | |
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not him again. | |
| Please, God. | ||
| Who knows what's written in that magic book? | ||
| And when a lover you discover at the gate, my friend, invite him and we're out of second. | ||
| Lord, you're watching the sun. | ||
| You're not counting your mind. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| you Thank you. | ||
| you. | ||
| I mean, it's big. | ||
| It's like, that must have just been so much fun. | ||
| Did Pia Zadora, like, it's just... | ||
| It was fun, and, you know, it was... | ||
| I love those, you know, big nationally, internationally televised settings for a third act. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ending always has to feel big, right? | ||
| Like, that's the baseball game. | ||
| Yeah, well, when we start out writing... | ||
| The first thing we say, what's the relationship of the boy and the girl? | ||
| And in this case, you know, Leslie and Priscilla. | ||
| So that's different in each one. | ||
| And what's the final third act? | ||
| And we always kind of point to that. | ||
| Did you want to do more after 33 and a Third? | ||
| No. | ||
| By that time, we had a deal with Sony. | ||
| And so, yeah, I was kind of... | ||
| I didn't want to do more Leslie Nielsen movies, so I want to do other—I always want to do something new. | ||
| I don't want to go back to the same stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did you make of Leslie going from that? | ||
| And then he did, you know, like six or eight or maybe even ten kind of similar farce things he did. | ||
| Obviously, Dracula with Mel Brooks. | ||
| There were a couple things that were— That were not as commercially successful. | ||
| Well, a lot of directors watch Naked Gun and their takeaway from it, oh, this guy's funny. | ||
| Let's cast him. | ||
| But, you know, people don't get what goes into it. | ||
| You know, we have rules. | ||
| We have a method to writing the joke. | ||
| We have Pat Proft. | ||
| You know, there's a lot that goes into it that a lot of it came from behind the camera. | ||
| And Leslie was great at what he did, but you can't just say, you know, Be funny. | ||
| Watch what I'm going to do right now because I just asked you if you wanted to do more Naked Guns and I'm going to tease what we're going to get to later because I said I had a lot of papers on my desk and what I have here is the real script for Naked Gun 4 or the Naked Gun Reboot which is apparently coming out on August 1st but does not involve you nor your script. | ||
| This is your script. | ||
| For the rebooted Naked Gun 4, which, as you know, I have read and is quite hilarious. | ||
| That's a little teaser for people to keep watching in a little bit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| That's what we do on the online show. | ||
| I'll probably talk about that when we come back. | ||
| We'll probably get you to... | ||
| We're not even going to commercial. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I just sort of led us to a commercial where there's no commercial right now. | ||
| We're just going to keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you ready? | |
| So you can see I know nothing about this. | ||
| Neither do I. Yeah. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So then get me to, like, the next phase, really. | ||
| Because it feels like Naked Gun 3 comes out. | ||
| Well, I didn't want to do that. | ||
| And it was just a new thing. | ||
| I didn't want to do the same thing, so I did High School High. | ||
| I produced that, another director. | ||
| And then I did Basketball. | ||
| Which, you know, was a real game that we played on my driveway. | ||
| But you told me, so I didn't realize, baseball did not do well commercially? | ||
| No! | ||
| Because I think of it as a classic, but... | ||
| It's another... | ||
| And that was with Matt and Trey, obviously. | ||
| Matt and Trey, who were so good. | ||
| And they wrote a third of it. | ||
| You know, a lot of this stuff, I couldn't even write myself, but they were great. | ||
| I thought, you know, their acting, their comic acting was excellent. | ||
| But it didn't perform, but now it's had a new life, and nobody realizes that it really didn't perform very well when it opened. | ||
| Yeah, so that's got to be, what, like 90? | ||
| Yeah, so then I was in... | ||
| Yeah, that was in... | ||
| 98 was basketball. | ||
| So then, you know, when you have a flop, you go into director jail. | ||
| And so I did a... | ||
| Then I did a... | ||
| My business partner at the time, Gil Netter, got a deal at NBC to do television pilots. | ||
| So we did a thing called HUD starring Steve Carell. | ||
| And it was great. | ||
| Really funny. | ||
| You may be able to see that somewhere. | ||
| Oh, I gotta find that. | ||
| Yeah, gotta find it. | ||
| Some really funny things. | ||
| And Steve Carell was, he was Steve Carell. | ||
| However, it was before he was Steve Carell. | ||
| So the studio said, what is this? | ||
| Yeah, it's funny, but who's Steve Carell? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| What was the purpose of the show? | ||
| It was going to be a sitcom, you know, but without a laugh track, but a kind of a secret agent. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He was a secret agent. | ||
| Because they were going to take an existing government agency, but useless agency, like HUD, and that was the new secret agent because it was too much publicity surrounding the FBI and the CIA. | ||
| So that flopped. | ||
| Then I was just on my back, and so Gil Netter again got me a job directing an Ashton Kutcher movie. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| For Bob Weinstein. | ||
| And that was called My Boss's Daughter. | ||
| And it was, I think, the only Ashton Kutcher movie that flopped. | ||
| So I wasn't doing too great. | ||
| But how did you like directing things that you didn't write? | ||
| I just liked directing. | ||
| I like making movies. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| I had a good time. | ||
| Ashton was great. | ||
| Tara Reid was in it. | ||
| He was great. | ||
| And we had Michael Madsen from... | ||
| Quentin, the Tarantino movies. | ||
| Everybody told me, oh my, he's going to eat you alive. | ||
| He's a big problem or anything. | ||
| But he came on into the first table read and I just somehow, I naturally just started insulting him and saying, you call this acting? | ||
| And he cracked up. | ||
| We got along great. | ||
| And so anyways, that movie was so bad, it was unreleasable. | ||
| So that's not going to become a cult classic. | ||
| We will not put a clip of it right now. | ||
| So then the Wayans did the first two scary movies. | ||
| They did a great job. | ||
| Studio made a lot of money on them. | ||
| But for the third one, I think they couldn't make a deal with Bob Weinstein at Dimension. | ||
| So they went and did a movie for Joe Roth at... | ||
| Some Joe Ross company, whatever it was. | ||
| And Bob called me. | ||
| And he said, my boss's daughter, he said, Zucker, you're a better director than your material. | ||
| So he actually thought I was good at directing. | ||
| So he wanted me to do a scary movie, the next scary movie. | ||
| And he said, we want to do it on signs. | ||
| We want to do a spoof on signs in the ring. | ||
| And so I kind of nodded because I never, I didn't know, I don't really go to see movies unless five people tell me you have to go see it. | ||
| I don't like horror movies. | ||
| Anyways, so, you know, so, and I said, is there a script? | ||
| There was a script, but it was written by the guys who did the date movie and all this other stuff. | ||
| Right, because at that time there were a couple of those type of movies. | ||
| Yeah, and so, it wouldn't work. | ||
| They didn't know what they were doing. | ||
| And so I said, I can get... | ||
| Pat Proft and my producer, Bob Weiss, recruited Craig Mason. | ||
| And that was our writing team. | ||
| And boy, those guys were terrific. | ||
| And Scary 3 broke all records and it was a huge hit. | ||
| So I was back out of director's jail. | ||
| And so it had nothing to do with the original team that did the first two? | ||
| Because the first two were pretty great. | ||
| And you mentioned to me last night that you really liked the Wayans. | ||
| I love the Wayans. | ||
| I think they're funny. | ||
| But they do R-rated movies. | ||
| They're funny. | ||
| It's a completely different style. | ||
| They never tried to do our style. | ||
| I would never try to do their style. | ||
| It's the same thing with Mike Myers. | ||
| He did a spoof called Austin Power. | ||
| Not what I would have done at all, but it was good. | ||
| It's not an accident that it was successful. | ||
| He did spoof. | ||
| In his way. | ||
| He didn't... | ||
| So anyways, those guys are fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we do the scary movie three, and then we did four. | ||
| And you brought Leslie back in four, right? | ||
| We put Leslie in three and four as the president, and he was great. | ||
| Also, like a slight precursor to Biden, you know, fumbling. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| How did that feel to bring him back and work with him again? | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| No, no, it was, you know, Leslie is like driving a really fancy, souped-up car. | ||
| Same thing with Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Great. | ||
| He just knows what to do. | ||
| I don't have to direct too much. | ||
| And it just... | ||
| Yeah, I always loved working with Leslie. | ||
| And Anna Faris was great, too. | ||
| And the cast of the scary movies. | ||
| She was Regina Hall. | ||
| Yeah, Regina Hall was good. | ||
| They were a great team. | ||
| And it was different. | ||
| And it was just like a wacky... | ||
| And they were acting funny. | ||
| They weren't Robert Stack, but it worked. | ||
| So then you're feeling good again. | ||
| I'm feeling good again. | ||
| And then after that... | ||
| So, but then I wrote a movie called, oh, then I wanted to go back and do Naked Gun. | ||
| I thought, why not reboot Naked Gun? | ||
| So this is like early 2000s, right? | ||
| Early 2000s. | ||
| Well, I did one movie in between called American Carol, which is, it was about politics. | ||
| We were actually making fun of the left. | ||
| I wrote it with one of my best friends from high school, Louis Friedman, who's to the left of Castro. | ||
| And we both love making movies together. | ||
| He's the funniest person I know, outside of Pat Proff, probably. | ||
| He was a lefty who could take a joke? | ||
| Oh, no, absolutely. | ||
| We can laugh. | ||
| He writes for... | ||
| Robert De Niro and, you know, all these people. | ||
| And he's really, really funny. | ||
| So... | ||
| I have to concede I have not seen it. | ||
| I saw the thriller. | ||
| But it makes fun of Michael Moore. | ||
| Yeah, and Zach Levy's in it, right? | ||
| Zach Levy's in it. | ||
| Yeah, a bunch of... | ||
| Oh, Kelsey Grammer's in it. | ||
| Jon Voight. | ||
| All right, all right. | ||
| It's got a pretty neat cast. | ||
| Anyway, so... | ||
| But that was a buzzsaw. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| You know, the left, as you know, they don't have a sense of humor about themselves, and Republicans don't go to see movies. | ||
| So I was fucked. | ||
| That's the end of that. | ||
| So now my—you think—I'm still in director jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so anyway— So you're just in and out, basically. | ||
| Hit, no hit. | ||
| Yeah, it was in and out, yeah. | ||
| Just as I'm doing great, I sabotage my own career. | ||
| But then— Pat Proft and I and Mike McManus got a hold of this old film noir movie called Detour, and we said, this is a great start to a movie. | ||
| It didn't have an ending, and it didn't have a character. | ||
| We used about 10 film noir movies and put together that script, which is called The Star of Malta. | ||
| The Unmade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Unmade Star of Malta, which I have also read and is hilarious. | |
| Right. | ||
| And it's sitting here, so this is a 50s-style film noir. | ||
| So that was a hard thing to get made. | ||
| So then we said, why don't we reboot Naked Gun? | ||
| I may be getting the chronology wrong. | ||
| The reboot to Naked Gun script could have been first, but I'm elderly. | ||
| Unless you're fact-checking yourself. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Everything's wrong, and I actually didn't direct Naked Gun. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I've got to... | ||
| But we didn't want to do the old cop, the Leslie 60-year-old. | ||
| In a cop station in LA. | ||
| I've done that. | ||
| I didn't want to do the third one even. | ||
| So what we did is, but the sense of humor is the same. | ||
| If we can do our spoof... | ||
| Our good jokes, why not have, it's the son of Leslie Nielsen, as you probably read in it, he's a security guard somewhere, and then he gets mixed up with the CIA, and he does a Mission Impossible mission. | ||
| Right, so it becomes more of a Mission Impossible spoof, in a sense, than a con. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And that works. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that is this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And do we even say the name now, or we'll keep the name secret? | ||
| Because it's not Naked Gun anymore. | ||
| Are we shifting to that portion of the conversation? | ||
| Well, the first thing we said, we called it Naked Gun 4, Nordberg did it. | ||
| That was our title. | ||
| And then we changed it to Naked Impossible. | ||
| And we brought that script into Paramount. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this is around 2018, I think. | ||
| And the head of production, John Gonda... | ||
| Read it, and we heard through other people that he was laughing so hard all through the script that either his wife or girlfriend at the time came in and said, what the hell's going on? | ||
| What are you reading? | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| I mean, I read it on the plane. | ||
| I told you. | ||
| The woman next to me was like, what in the world are you reading right now? | ||
| From page one, I was hysterically laughing. | ||
| And the story is great. | ||
| Everything I've learned has gone into this. | ||
| Anyway, so then we had a meeting at Paramount with... | ||
| Gonda and the woman who was the president of Paramount, and things were going okay, although this woman was a little frightened because we had some very mild joke about the girl had a breast reduction to fit into the Kevlar vest. | ||
| It's like, not the funniest joke, but she said, I don't know if you can do that. | ||
| There's a midget joke in there. | ||
| Anyway, so time passes. | ||
| I don't hear from my manager. | ||
| I don't hear from my agent. | ||
| And then I wake up to read that Naked Gun 4 is being done with Seth MacFarlane has taken over the franchise. | ||
| So, okay, so this is what, like two years ago or so? | ||
| Two or three years ago. | ||
| Two or three years ago. | ||
| So that you never got a no, you just never heard back from it. | ||
| Never heard back. | ||
| You are the creator of the entire thing. | ||
| Yeah, you would think that maybe, yeah. | ||
| You had the script. | ||
| By all accounts, they like the script. | ||
| I'm telling you, this is a fucking funny script. | ||
| That was my one F-bomb for the... | ||
| You're not a big F-bomb guy in comedy. | ||
| No, I don't, you know, I don't... | ||
| I want to be judicious about my use. | ||
| That was my one. | ||
| And I don't like to... | ||
| I don't have my kids say it either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you dropped one earlier, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just for emphasis. | ||
| To really illustrate the point. | ||
| Okay, so then you find out that they're going to do it, so Warner Brothers is going to do it. | ||
| No, Paramount. | ||
| Paramount is going to do it, sorry. | ||
| Paramount is going to do it. | ||
| I really was going to blow your mind just then. | ||
| Warner Brothers is going to do it, actually. | ||
| That's new news, really. | ||
| Paramount is going to do it. | ||
| And was it immediately announced who was going to do it? | ||
| No, it was Seth MacFarlane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, okay. | ||
| Seth MacFarlane had come in and he was going to hire a director and young writers. | ||
| Everything was, you know, young as opposed to old guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Except that, you know, in my story, we're not doing a 60-year-old actor. | ||
| You know, I don't want to see it again. | ||
| I didn't want to see it the first time because, you know, there's certain things that you can't unsee once you see them, and that's why I never saw this thing that occurred on the internet years ago. | ||
| It was called... | ||
| Two girls, one cup. | ||
| And I heard about it, but I didn't want to see it because you can't unsee that stuff. | ||
| Should we show him that, too? | ||
| God, you really hate me. | ||
| To your credit, I completely glossed over it, but you also did not do Airplane 2. That's right. | ||
| For virtually the same reason you're talking about now. | ||
| Which was many years ago, and that was coming off the heels of a massive moneymaker. | ||
| But in defense of the Paramount executives then, again, it was... | ||
| Eisner and Katzenberg. | ||
| And they came to us. | ||
| Please, will you do Airplane 2? | ||
| You can really maximize your profit by doing a sequel. | ||
| And we didn't want to do another Airplane movie. | ||
| But then the three of us came up with, wait a minute, there is a way we can do this. | ||
| It's very much like our plan for Naked Gun 4. And that was to Bob and Julie fly down the plane. | ||
| And he takes her home to meet his family, and it's the Godfather. | ||
| Oh, that would have been brilliant. | ||
| Yeah, the poster would have been the marionette with a twisted plane. | ||
| Because then it's a whole other thing altogether. | ||
| It's a whole other thing. | ||
| Then we're doing the Godfather. | ||
| So did you pitch that to them? | ||
| We did. | ||
| Pitch it to Isaac. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Interestingly enough, they loved it. | ||
| But they said they better go to Francis to see if it was okay. | ||
| And Coppola said, No, he didn't want us to do it because he wanted to do Godfather 3. Now, looking back on it, everyone would have been better off had we done, you know, Airplane 2 with the Godfather. | ||
| Right, and eventually they did make a Godfather spoof, which was with Jay Moore. | ||
| Yeah, right, but that wasn't a good, by that time it was too old. | ||
| Anyway, so Airplane 2. And predictably, they didn't know what they were doing. | ||
| They didn't know the rules. | ||
| They didn't know nothing. | ||
| So it opened, let these things do, and then quickly dropped off once people went and saw that it was, you know, mediocrely funny. | ||
| So now getting us back to where we're at at the moment. | ||
| This freaking trailer comes out like a month ago for the new one. | ||
| You're not involved. | ||
| I watch it. | ||
| I'm not going to bludgeon you with it. | ||
| I kind of want to, but I'm not going to do it to you. | ||
| I'm just not going to do it to you. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| All right, so Liam Neeson, which I think they just chose because it sounds like Leslie Nielsen. | ||
| And there's a similar series. | ||
| They're going back to the old model. | ||
| So I've given a lot of interviews about this, and the headlines are... | ||
| The naked gun director says he would never have cast Liam Neeson. | ||
| Now, this is really nothing against Liam. | ||
| Liam is a perfectly fine actor. | ||
| It's the whole concept that I say shouldn't be done is like going back to the old Leslie Nielsen model. | ||
| Right, alright. | ||
| So I won't bludgeon you with it, but we'll B-roll it while we're talking, so you don't even have to look over there. | ||
| Yeah, I won't watch it. | ||
| where they use CGI blood in a stabbing. | ||
| And I thought just that in and of itself is so profoundly different than anything that you guys would have done. | ||
| Not just because there wasn't that much CGI when you were doing the originals. | ||
| There were some. | ||
| But just the seriousness of it or something is just lost. | ||
| Right. And I mean, we also... | ||
| We never made Frank Drebin, Leslie Nielsen, into a clown. | ||
| Even in the trailer. | ||
| I mean, he's wearing these boxers that are silly. | ||
| This is why I don't want to see it again. | ||
| Yeah, all right. | ||
| So then I will not do it to you. | ||
| But you can show it to your audience. | ||
| I don't care about your audience. | ||
| I care about my audience. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| So I decided not. | ||
| No, I've made an executive decision now. | ||
| We're not going to show it. | ||
| You're not even going to bludgeon your audience? | ||
| I will not. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| We're not going to. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So you've got Malta here, which to me seems to be like the passion project that you never got to do. | ||
| And then you have... | ||
| And again, is the name... | ||
| We changed the name to Counterintelligence, spelled with one L and a J. Okay, so that's what this is right here. | ||
| But this is the real naked gun. | ||
| That's the one I think that you read. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| How many people have read this? | ||
| You know, so we've given it to some agents, production companies. | ||
| You know, it's like, I don't think the studios get humor anymore. | ||
| They don't know what good or bad is. | ||
| So we're going to have to raise the money from billionaires. | ||
| But I know you're not pissed about it. | ||
| I know you're not, because we had dinner last night. | ||
| You're not pissed about it. | ||
| It's like, okay, they gave it to him, so be it. | ||
| And Seth MacFarlane is kind of social justice warrior and whatever. | ||
| Some people like family guys, some people don't, or whatever. | ||
| But why do you think they did not give it to you? | ||
| I think because Seth MacFarlane, you are thought of as a scary conservative these days or something. | ||
| You did something with PragerU. | ||
| And I did that movie, American Carol. | ||
| But still, I don't think it's that. | ||
| I mean, I may be wrong. | ||
| Maybe they're saying, they are saying that. | ||
| But I think it's more because Seth MacFarlane has, between Family Guy and Ted and some of the other stuff, he has bigger grosses. | ||
| But that's probably adjusted for $20, $20. | ||
| And he's Seth MacFarlane. | ||
| When you say Seth MacFarlane, you can hear the chorus. | ||
| And so I think when he came in, they figure, you know, it's like that line in Fiddler on the Roof, when you're rich, they think you really know. | ||
| You know, they went with... | ||
| It's like the Godfather. | ||
| It's the smart move. | ||
| It was the smart move, Tessio. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| But it didn't make sense. | ||
| Then Tessio, of course, paid the price. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I don't know if that was a direct death threat that you made right there. | ||
| It could be in turn. | ||
| First I hear it. | ||
| I want to make this freaking movie. | ||
| I'd love to. | ||
| I want to make this movie. | ||
| I'll give you some money, but I don't have that kind of cash. | ||
| I mean, I can move some things around, but it's pretty tough. | ||
| Move some things around. | ||
| Well, here. | ||
| The lower-hanging fruit is Star of Malta. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Before we end this, what do you think is going to happen? | ||
| So, okay, so they're going to put this movie out. | ||
| It's coming out on August 1st. | ||
| As you know, I disappear for a month on August 1st, which in this case is probably a good idea. | ||
| Yeah, well, I'll tell you what's going to happen. | ||
| I did not see one person that watched the trailer. | ||
| I think it's going to open fine because people want to see Naked Gun. | ||
| And I don't think the word gets out. | ||
| And Paramount certainly isn't advertising the fact that they excluded the original creators. | ||
| And Paramount would say, well, these guys are too old anyways. | ||
| They're best in a nursing home. | ||
| And I'm still, as you know, I'm still some years away from that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We were at dinner last night. | ||
| We had dinner, I ate, I had a drink. | ||
| And I was wiping your mouth. | ||
| A minimum of drooling. | ||
| You kept saying, I'm fine, I'm fine. | ||
| But they're not going to tell people that it's... | ||
| And nobody will know until opening weekend. | ||
| Okay, so if it doesn't go that... | ||
| Look, if it ends up being a hit for one reason or another... | ||
| If it's great and funny, then I'll... | ||
| Obviously, I was wrong. | ||
| And we'll delete this episode. | ||
| It'll be the first deleted episode. | ||
| You cannot see this. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| This will be like our episode five of Police Squad. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| No one will ever see this. | ||
| Gone completely. | ||
| But I'm still in print saying it's going to be bad. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I actually didn't say that. | ||
| Okay, but if... | ||
| If it's a hit and it ends up being fun, okay, fine, it is. | ||
| You still want to make it. | ||
| I still could make this. | ||
| This is still good. | ||
| It's a completely different thing. | ||
| We got to make this movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know who I'm going to call, but I'm going to call somebody. | ||
| I think the budget is, I think I mentioned it, it's probably around $25 to $30. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, you know, that's, but I always figured we'd get the money for Star Malta first. | ||
| But I could be wrong. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this you can do on a smaller budget. | ||
| Smaller budget in six weeks and shoot it all in L.A. And there's actually two production companies that are really behind it now. | ||
| So we may in fact get this made. | ||
| And if this gets made, then I think... | ||
| The counterintelligence will get made. | ||
| And then the story will be, this would have been Naked Gun, because it's obviously a father-son story. | ||
| So the beauty of all of this, for a guy that likes the story with the jokes, not just the jokes, is that if Naked Gun from Seth MacFarlane fails, that it's like... | ||
| I had it all along. | ||
| I had it all along. | ||
| You motherfuckers. | ||
| I did it twice. | ||
| I'm not as angry as you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm pissed. | |
| I know you're pissed. | ||
| And I enjoy your... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It takes a lot to get me pissed. | ||
| People don't see me pissed, but I'm pissed. | ||
| This is the real deal. | ||
| You're the creator. | ||
| You're the writer. | ||
| It's your baby. | ||
| It's your... | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's hard to get Seth MacFarlane. | ||
| I mean, he refused to meet with me. | ||
| I don't care about Seth MacFarlane. | ||
| But he also called me. | ||
| He called me. | ||
| And we had this... | ||
| 15-minute conversation where he just told me how much he worships the naked gun, top secret, airplane, everything, but yet, what am I? | ||
| And so I kind of said gently, but, you know, Seth, I had a script, and he said it was the first he heard of it. | ||
| The first he heard of it, and last you heard of him. | ||
| Yeah, and last I heard of him. | ||
| Anyway, they wanted me to put my name on it as executive producer, offered me a bunch of money. | ||
| But it wasn't, you know... | ||
| Well, that's interesting. | ||
| So purely just for integrity, it's not yours. | ||
| I have no idea how much they were going to offer you, but it's Hollywood. | ||
| They're going to offer you a decent chunk of money. | ||
| It was discussed a couple hundred Ks. | ||
| So a couple hundred Ks to basically do nothing. | ||
| Do nothing and just put my executive producer, David Zucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you show up to the set once, you have a banal. | ||
| Yeah, notice I pronounced the name wrong. | ||
| I got it, I got it. | ||
| I don't have to spell it out for you, do I? | ||
| Zucker. | ||
| Yeah, Zucker. | ||
| Zucker, David Zucker. | ||
| You're wonderful. | ||
| Every time I've been around you, I call you David Zucker. | ||
| I know, and I just pass it over, I just say, I don't know, you know, he doesn't know any better. | ||
| And we have the same first name, so I got that right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You got that. | ||
| But I'm David. | ||
| My friends used to call me, and my mom would answer the phone, because those days there was only one phone in the hole downstairs. | ||
| And I would hear her say, well, there's no David here. | ||
| There's no Dave here. | ||
| We have a David, but there's no Dave. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| My parents still call me David. | ||
| No one else does. | ||
| My parents call me David. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I'm going to make this movie somehow. | ||
| I'm going to be involved. | ||
| I'm telling you right now. | ||
| Even if you're not angry about it, I'm pissed. | ||
| I don't care what happens with that other thing. | ||
| I think we could crowdfund this thing. | ||
| I think the internet, especially if the other one fails, the internet is going to say, David Zucker... | ||
| This wouldn't... | ||
| Yeah, I should have done... | ||
| This should have been naked. | ||
| I had the script. | ||
| It would have rebooted the franchise. | ||
| We could have made three of these with this kid being a secret agent. | ||
| It smells like Leslie Nielsen. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| That famous smell. | ||
| Yeah, but what I am doing is doing the chorus. | ||
| It was inspired by these people are doing it, and they don't know the rules, so I'm doing it. | ||
| It's called Master Crash. | ||
| So let's throw to a bit of Master Crash, because maybe if Seth MacFarlane is watching today and he's got a little time to edit, maybe he can fix some of this stuff. | ||
| Hi, I'm a psychic. | ||
| I don't think I can do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| We've kind of, over the years, assembled 15 rules that help to guide us. | ||
| Now, I have to say, they're only our rules, but they do apply to anybody who's attempting. | ||
| To do this kind of spoof. | ||
| All these people, when they try to imitate our style, probably less successful because they are not aware of the rules, the 15 rules. | ||
| Jim Abrams is probably looking down at me and saying, "Oh God, is David trying to take himself seriously?" | ||
| No, I'm not! | ||
| and it's none of your business. | ||
|
unidentified
|
*music* | |
| So even that, in some sense, is a spoof of Masterclass. | ||
| Like, you're making a spoof of the thing you're spoofing while you're spoofing it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I can't help it. | ||
| Because you can't take this stuff seriously. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so, I mean, I'm teaching comedy, but you can't do that. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| God, it's, you can't. | ||
| But there are rules, and I think it would help if somebody who is attempting to write a spoof would actually know these, you know, these... | ||
| Few rules. | ||
| Do you know how much the course costs? | ||
| I don't know yet, but we're going to announce that. | ||
| All right, well, here's what I'm going to do. | ||
| Not only am I going to figure out a way, whether we have to crowdfund it, what if... | ||
| Maybe I will get, you need about 25 mil. | ||
| 25 mil to do that script. | ||
| So I have about 3 million subscribers on YouTube alone. | ||
| That means if every subscriber of mine throws in about $4, you'll have a little extra change to work on. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| That would be something. | ||
| So we'll see if we can figure this thing out. | ||
| That's one thing. | ||
| But I will also, let's say you charge, I don't know, maybe $100 for Master Crash? | ||
| It'll be a lot more than that. | ||
| A lot more than that? | ||
| All right. | ||
| I will put in the $1,000 to have that sent directly to Seth MacFarlane so that maybe... | ||
| That's great. | ||
| That's what you should do. | ||
| You'd have a box set of that just sent to his door. | ||
| You know, I'm not that vindictive, really. | ||
| I'm not either, but I'm vindictive for you. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I've never felt this before. | ||
| I just think I always win in the end. | ||
| What else, Hooker? | ||
| Anything else? | ||
| Did we do it all? | ||
| I think we did it all. | ||
| This was great, yeah. | ||
| We got all the information out. | ||
| Is there any comedy lesson that you think I need to learn to apply to the daily Rubin Report show, of which I know you're a big fan? | ||
| How am I doing? | ||
| Doing okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, good. | |
| And I sometimes send in suggestions. | ||
| You do. | ||
| And you guys are taking them. | ||
| I'm particularly aware of the hysteria. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I wish you would, whenever you mention it, you just put in just one second of airplane, all the passengers going nuts. | ||
| Just everyone going nuts. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| You know, it's just like, oh my God. | ||
| There's so much where, you know, you know who's particularly hysterical is that woman from Massachusetts? | ||
| Oh, Elizabeth Warren. | ||
| Oh, she's just... | ||
| You think they're going for illegal aliens? | ||
| Next, they're coming for you. | ||
| That's hysteria. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so it's, we're all going to die. | ||
| We're all going to die. | ||
| Wait, I can't end this talking about politics. | ||
| We've talked about... | ||
| Comedy and success and the story of life, and we're going to end this with Elizabeth Warren? | ||
| No, that's such a downer. | ||
| Yeah, we have to end this some other way. | ||
| Why did you bring her up? | ||
| I think you brought her up, but either way, we have to get out of this. | ||
| Come on, you're a great writer. | ||
| I'm a decent talk show host. | ||
| Let's figure this out together. | ||
| Leslie Nielsen was a wonderful comedic actor. | ||
| Leslie Nielsen was a wonderful, and I was sad that he died. | ||
| I went to his wake, and I met... | ||
| One of his, somebody who knew him, this lady and her husband, and she was a fan of airplanes. | ||
| So the first thing she did at Leslie's Wake is show me a picture of her daughter, who is an actress. | ||
| So, and of course, I was a good... | ||
| Boy, and I consented to meet with her at my house, and I dated her for a year. | ||
| See, this is why I'm not all that angry. | ||
| Because it all worked out. | ||
| It all works out, yeah. | ||
| And Leslie Nielsen married Bea Arthur in the last episode of The Golden Girls. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| For you, that was your fantasy. | ||
| Your fantasy was the daughter was absolutely hot. | ||
| Mine was watching two 70-year-olds I never met get married. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But I love visiting you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
police officer? | |
| He was on guard at that door. | ||
| Oh, Lieutenant Drebin called and sent him home. | ||
| Lieutenant Drebin? | ||
| Call police squad. | ||
| Tell them a 4-11 is in progress. | ||
| 4-11? | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Fire! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| 14-11. | ||
| 14-11? | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
|
unidentified
|
A poison gasoline! | |
| No, no. | ||
| 14-14. | ||
| If you're looking to laugh your ass off, check out our comedy playlist. | ||
| And if you want to watch full interviews on a wide variety of topics, watch our full episode playlist all right over here. |
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