April 30, 2018 - Rubin Report - Dave Rubin
03:45
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| You know, they say that we are more divided than ever, right? | ||
| That's what they say, whoever the hell they are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They keep saying it. | |
| And I don't know that I believe it, but I thought the best way I could start this, and it's sort of why I do the show, is to bring people together. | ||
| But they keep telling us that, you know, we hate each other, we're more divided. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I thought maybe you guys should look around the room and just kind of look and realize how much you hate everybody else. | |
| I mean, really, take a look at another table, and just really, everyone, please, I'm not just doing this for... Look, really, look at each other. | ||
| I mean, you see? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hate them, and they hate you, and the white people hate everybody else, and it's all so stupid. | |
| All right, but I thought what I should do, actually, is take a little poll, because I want to read the room. | ||
| How many of you would say that you're conservatives? | ||
|
unidentified
|
By a round of applause. | |
| How many conservatives... | ||
| [applause] | ||
| Conservatives always very respectfully... | ||
| You first raise your hand before you applaud. | ||
| We don't make a lot of noise. | ||
| Conservative. | ||
| We're conserving the applause. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Conservatives. | |
| That's good. | ||
| Look, that's great. | ||
| You know, people with jobs and families. | ||
| You know, you're dressed right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw you. | |
| I could have picked you all out. | ||
| It's very easy. | ||
| Oh, well, there's someone who's wearing clothes that fit. | ||
| Probably a conservative. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many of you, how many of you are libertarians? | |
| Libertarians. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| That is a very special libertarian there. | ||
| Libertarians, yes! | ||
| Anyone that just applauded, those are the people you get pot from at the end of the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Libertarians love pot. | |
| Just quick sidebar, I went to one of these, you know, I was getting medicinal marijuana for my horrific glaucoma, but then But now it's legal, I guess, that you just can show up with your idea or whatever. | ||
| So I went just a couple days ago to the pot shop, and it is impossible to get weed at a pot shop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you been there? | |
| We got oil, we got rocks, we got edibles. | ||
| I was like, do you have weed in weed form? | ||
| Is that even a thing? | ||
| I mean, I wasn't in college that long ago. | ||
| Like, a bag of schwag, that'll be fine. | ||
| Schwag? | ||
| Is that a word? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, we did conservatives, we did libertarians. | |
| How many of you, how many progressives? | ||
| How many... progressives? | ||
| I'm guessing there are, but I know because of the soy, it's sometimes hard to clap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a little different in comedy form. | |
| I'm out of here. | ||
| See? | ||
| It's coming back! | ||
| I mean, I used to do this! | ||
| This is what I did! | ||
| Okay! | ||
| I forgot that I'm good at this. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| So we got... Not one? | ||
| No one will say it? | ||
| I mean, we're not going to shoot you. | ||
| Oh, we have one! | ||
| We have one! | ||
| Please, take them outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's alright. | |
| It's alright. | ||
| You're wrong, but it's alright. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's great. | |
| It's great. | ||
| I'll let it be. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So we did conservatives. | |
| We did libertarians. | ||
| How many classical liberals? | ||
| [applause] | ||
| Those of course would be my people, otherwise known by the media | ||
| as a bunch of racist, bigot homophobes. | ||
| Close. | ||
| [BLANK_AUDIO] | ||
| No, just kidding. | ||
| Those are good people who believe in the individual, which is what I believe in, all the things that I'm constantly talking about. |
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