Aug. 26, 2016 - Rubin Report - Dave Rubin
52:19
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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(upbeat music) | |
| My guest this week for the new revamped, relaunched, fan-funded Rubin Report | ||
| is a comedy legend, an activist, an author, an actress, an entrepreneur, | ||
| and a former presidential candidate, Roseanne. | ||
| Plus, mother and grandmother, don't forget the most important part. | ||
| I should have done those two first, right? | ||
| You should, but, you know, that's how you are. | ||
| It's OK. | ||
| I've made the correction. | ||
| All right, let's jump right into it. | ||
| I love that you have Bea Arthur there. | ||
| That's so rad. | ||
| There's Bea. | ||
| You told me once— I loved her. | ||
| —that you loved her, but you also told me that you thought that the gay community rallied behind the Golden Girls in a weird way that they didn't quite behind you, even though you were actually doing a lot more pro-gay stuff. | ||
| Because you did the first gay kiss, which we'll talk about later and all that stuff. | ||
| Is that a weird thing? | ||
| Because it was sort of like the Connors were sort of the reverse of what people think of as gay is over the top and flamboyant, and the Connors were working class. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's not thought of as gay, so to speak. | |
| Some working class people are gay. | ||
| There are? | ||
| They are. | ||
| Some of them are gay. | ||
| They're not on Bravo, though. | ||
| Well, they're right next to Bravo on TLC. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like the Duck Dynasty. | ||
| I mean, you know, come on. | ||
| Those guys have to be gay. | ||
| There's a lot of gays in that family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| They looked really gay at first. | ||
| I saw it on the internet, and they were like in these golf shirts and shit, and they were all clean-shaven Republicans. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which kind of means gay in a way. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And then they grew the beards to get the show, and I think they did have the Southern accents. | ||
| But I watched that show the other day. | ||
| I think it's great. | ||
| I'm transfixed by these reality shows. | ||
| They're very good. | ||
| You had your own reality show. | ||
| I had two or three of them. | ||
| So you had Roseanne's Nuts, which I loved. | ||
| They were more bleeps. | ||
| You had more bleeps per minute than in anything I've ever seen. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They would say that I was difficult. | ||
| But, you know, that's how I talk. | ||
| They want to see the real me. | ||
| I mean, if they didn't want to see the real me, I could never figure, well, why don't you go hire, you know, Raquel Welch or somebody like that, if you don't want to see me. | ||
| I saw one episode, you were on a truck, and you were plowing through the macadamia things, and you were clearing brush, and it was fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! | ||
| Yeah, I'm getting my aggression out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And killing non-indigenous, what do you call it, colonial growth off my pure Pele nest. | ||
| So the macadamia stuff, that is indigenous. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's from New Zealand. | ||
| Really? | ||
| See, the Big Island, Hawaii, where I live, that was the world's— Laboratory, where all those people went and they did experiments in the earth of what would grow, you know? | ||
| And so those macadamia nuts, they're not indigenous. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They are from New Zealand and they were brought over at the very same time when the pineapple, which is not indigenous to the big island of Hawaii, was brought there too. | ||
| So they were manufacturing this perfect cyborg Biosphere, then, and they have been since the late 1800s on the Big Island of Hawaii. | ||
| You're blowing my mind already. | ||
|
unidentified
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Why? | |
| I told you I was a fucking farmer, what? | ||
| But macadamia nuts and pineapples are neither indigenous to Hawaii. | ||
| No, not the kind they brought over. | ||
| They brought the pineapple from other Hawaiian islands, and then they brought the papaya and the mango, and they totally GMO manufactured the papaya. | ||
| That's why, you know, that's why I end up running for president, because I was part of kickin'. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Monsanto's ass off the Big Island, Hawaii, and we did win, and we did kick Monsanto out, and I was so proud of that, because all the time I'd be like, you know, I meditate and stuff, so I'd be like, what would be the best words? | ||
| I always meditate for the right words, because I'm a comic, and that's what we do. | ||
| We're always looking for words that fit and whatever. | ||
| I very seldom brag about myself and my writing and stuff, or maybe I do it too much. | ||
| Depends on how many drinks I've had. | ||
| Well, you do have 18 cups here. | ||
| I'm not sure what's going on here. | ||
| Water, coffee, and my special tea. | ||
| Ah, the special tea. | ||
| Yeah, for my boys. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, we'll keep that one quiet. | ||
| Remember Jackie Gleason? | ||
| That was my favorite thing. | ||
| I knew it as a little girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He'd take that drinker, and Jack Partoo, they'd act like they were drinking. | ||
| You knew it. | ||
| You just looked for how, where the... | ||
| You knew it was booze because they did that bit so many times. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| People used to be able to drink on television, right? | ||
| I know! | ||
| People, they would be smoking. | ||
| I mean, Johnny Carson was smoking cigarettes, and they were drinking and having a good time. | ||
| And now everything— They couldn't swear. | ||
| They couldn't swear. | ||
| We can say whatever you want. | ||
| Do you want to throw an F-bomb right now just for—just an extra one? | ||
| No, because that kicks in my OCD. | ||
| Oh, so if we throw one in, it could unfurl the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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It will. | |
| It will unfurl the whole thing. | ||
| So it's like, don't even go there. | ||
| It's like that first drink. | ||
| You know, I go to alcoholics. | ||
| I think you just blew the anonymous part. | ||
| That is the joke. | ||
| I should write that down. | ||
| You should write that down. | ||
| Get that down. | ||
| Where's my fucking pen? | ||
| I never have a fucking pen. | ||
| While you're thinking— Fuck! | ||
| Of course! | ||
| I already forgot my fucking idea! | ||
| Isn't that the word? | ||
| What do you want to say? | ||
| I feel like I'm in therapy because— Oh, we're talking about Bea Arthur. | ||
| About Bea and the gays. | ||
| She was fucking great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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So, but Bea and the gays— Was Bea gay? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| I saw her sing this song to her husband on Broadway, because I went and saw her play. | ||
| Oh, I saw the play. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Wasn't it a great play? | ||
| It was wonderful. | ||
| It was wonderful. | ||
| It was all like old—all her old stories and what it was like to be trapped in that | ||
| little TV box, which you know—you know all about. | ||
| I just like her voice so much. | ||
| That voice. | ||
| I mean, I think that's what'll be missed, is that voice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was such a genius, once-in-a-lifetime voice. | ||
| And when she sang, it was so beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But it was her voice singing, and boy, she was a master of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people are. | ||
| What do you think about that idea that the gays rallied around the Golden Girls in a way that they maybe didn't around Roseanne, but you did—I mean, that kiss, I remember watching that kiss, whatever year that was, maybe 97 or something, and it was literally— Yeah, people were watching it in bars all over America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were trying—there wasn't technology then, but we were trying to hook up phone calls to like a central—but now, of course, it all be— You know, I don't know what they do now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bouncing off Mars or some shit. | ||
| Something with Mars. | ||
| I know it's involved with Mars somehow. | ||
| Very technological now. | ||
| Yeah, so. | ||
| Boy, I wish I was working then when it was high-tech like that. | ||
| Well, you're working right now. | ||
| Well, in my own studio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I just got on this kit, because I have really bad OCD. | ||
| But I just wanted to know, what does it feel like to own your own work? | ||
| And just, like, say what you want to say. | ||
| Be who you really are. | ||
| It takes a lot of sacrifice, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean, we have been working— You're paying for it out the ass every day. | |
| We have been—I've never worked harder in my life than we've worked in these last couple months as we've put this thing together. | ||
| Well, you gotta work hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta pay the fucking cost to be the fucking boss. | ||
| That ain't no bullshit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You own the sitcom? | ||
| No! | ||
| You didn't own it? | ||
| I own a percentage of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That makes me— You know, I could go, like, I do get depressed over that. | ||
| Yeah, you do. | ||
| Because I own 20% of my own work. | ||
| And I'm the one that put my life on the line. | ||
| There certainly wasn't any committee involved there, but every joke there was a fucking committee involved. | ||
| But at the final hour, I just say what I want in front of the camera and let the audience decide. | ||
| If I got a bigger laugh than all them writers, then we kept that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And if they got a bigger laugh than me, we kept that. | ||
| I mean, I cared about the product. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And aside from all the other names, they call me cunt and bitch and all that shit, because, you know, whatever. | ||
| You know, it's important that an artist control his or her. | ||
| Own life and product and everything. | ||
| I mean, that shit ain't free for somebody to take. | ||
| Isn't it cool that we're cutting out the networks now, in a way? | ||
| Because, look, I mean, we— I think so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I own this thing. | ||
| I have no—I don't have to answer to anybody. | ||
| You know you're going to work fucking hard, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not no fucking Democrat. | ||
| Are we going to get to the fucking elections, or what are we talking about? | ||
| We're all over the place here. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I'm cool. | ||
| So you want to go to the elections? | ||
| No, go where you want. | ||
| You're running this shit. | ||
| I am? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I want some of the sweet tea. | ||
| I'm handing over. | ||
| All right, let's go to the elections. | ||
| Let's go to the elections. | ||
| Is that really where you want to go? | ||
| The elections, Roseanne. | ||
| We are in the craziest time that I ever remember in America right now. | ||
| The greatest fucking. | ||
| E.T. | ||
| Barnum on fucking drugs. | ||
| That's what it feels like. | ||
| Yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you love it? | ||
| Do you love it? | ||
| I love every fucking second of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can never sleep. | ||
| I'm up like, I can't stop reading. | ||
| It's so fascinating seeing what they're doing to us all. | ||
| You know, they're really trying to factionalize us. | ||
| They're trying to divide us. | ||
| They're trying to divide us on every single non-issue they can dream up. | ||
| You don't like Hillary, I know that much, right? | ||
| You're not a Hillary. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm not a Hillary fan. | |
| You're not a Hillary fan. | ||
| I like her. | ||
| I've met and had dinner and lunch with her. | ||
| I've spoken to her about women's issues and Jewish issues and things like that and charities and how I don't think that charities should, you know, I do think charities should be above being taxed, but by God, they shouldn't have A fucking bank's worth of money if they're trying to help people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They shouldn't be buying fucking property in Dubai. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What do you say about a profit-making charity? | ||
| Right there I start seeing the duality of everything. | ||
| I mean, before that. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's all just a double fuck. | |
| A double mindfuck. | ||
| A double talking. | ||
| Big Brother Mindfuck, where the rich is getting way richer. | ||
| Anybody who's contaminated with money is a filthy, dirty fucking rat, and that's the bottom line. | ||
| Capitalism is on its deathbed. | ||
| So what do you think is the better option? | ||
| Because I want to talk about the movie a little bit, and you talk about sort of socialism, but not sort of pure socialism. | ||
| Socialist solutions, such as stoplights, streets, and I believe health care. | ||
| You pay your taxes to get something. | ||
| You pay your taxes, and as I say satirically in my movie, in a decent socialist structure, one receives health care or something. | ||
| Or their taxes on schools. | ||
| They don't turn around, pay their taxes, and then pay for schools, too. | ||
| This is national socialism. | ||
| I don't like that one. | ||
| That's not a good system. | ||
| Because it's based on vampire capitalism, and that's what's dying. | ||
| And it should die. | ||
| And people should take a deep fucking breath, tighten that belt. | ||
| Take a step back and let it go. | ||
| Stop trying to prop it up. | ||
| It's supposed to die because it doesn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It's evil. | ||
| So you're not talking about capitalism, just capitalism— I'm talking about— You're talking about this crony capitalism and the way they've rigged everything so that the money keeps going up. | ||
| I'm talking about—see, they say and do the opposite of what they—when they say free markets, they don't mean free markets. | ||
| They mean free markets for slavers. | ||
| Now, that's a fixed and rigged fucking system against most people. | ||
| So that's what's going on here, right? | ||
| It's sort of like the Internet made people wake up to some level of reality that the media is kind of in it with the— Did it? | ||
| I think some people—I think—I mean, I see what people are saying to me. | ||
| Like, people are waking up to just how rigged the system is, how everyone is being pitted. | ||
| The media pits everybody against everybody. | ||
| I mean, turn on the TV right now. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's going on with Black Lives Matter trying to— Because that's what I wanted. | |
| That's why I ran for president. | ||
| Why I made the movie. | ||
| And I think my movie, Roseanne for President, which is out now, it shows where I planted the seeds. | ||
| And I knew right where to plant them. | ||
| And I feel just so vindicated. | ||
| I feel really powerful. | ||
| I did find right words. | ||
| And I always will try to find right words. | ||
| The good thing about right words is they turn off idiots. | ||
| And we don't need any of them. | ||
| The less of them interpreting and mansplaining and fucking goysplaining and empire sparrowsplaining our shit, when it is about profit sharing, it's that fucking simple. | ||
| You're gonna have to pay people decently for working. | ||
| And every problem on earth disappears the minute that happens. | ||
| Because they only have wars for slavery. | ||
| That's why they have wars, so they can have slave labor. | ||
| So they have a fucking war. | ||
| Well, the less we would war, the more money for us. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Let's not do that just this one time. | ||
| Let's instead step back, let it fall, learn how to grow our own food. | ||
| This is number one. | ||
| Food is money. | ||
| and getting our water, harvesting our, you know, surviving. | ||
| We've got to step back from the bullshit. | ||
| It doesn't matter which one of them wins. | ||
| It's the same bullshit. | ||
| It's a duopolistic fundraising arm of the prison military industrial complex. | ||
| And, you know, Brexit to me was fucking the heroes. | ||
| That was the heroes cry, the rebel yell, and I love it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because we don't, I thought we didn't want this one world government. | ||
| I mean, back in the 90s, remember they were working us with the one world fucking evil Illuminati, they were working us with that bullshit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which I went right in the heart of that too, and I'm like, I know what you're doing. | ||
| And when you tell people you know what they're doing, It explodes them. | ||
| So what do you make of the whole Black Lives Matter thing? | ||
| Because this is, this is it. | ||
| I mean, I feel like this is going to be the issue until the election and probably much, much longer than that. | ||
| Well, I have black teenage males in my family. | ||
| It's very frightening and, you know, it's, you know, it's not like they're making it up. | ||
| It's true and real. | ||
| You know, it happens too often. | ||
| It happens to Hispanics a lot here, too, but they don't report it as much. | ||
| And they're also locked up hand over fist. | ||
| But it's just—you know, it's the news again, wagging the dogs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the news basically wants us all to hate each other, right? | ||
| Like, it's just about— It's giving us good stories that interest us, that's all. | ||
| It's speaking to the demographic that it wants to fleece. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hello, capitalism. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what do we do? | ||
| But it's bullshit. | ||
| How do we get some smart people to? | ||
| You don't. | ||
| It's me. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it? | |
| That's all there fucking is. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And I'm so tired of people not seeing that. | ||
| But, you know, I've gone crazy over it for quite a while, but I'm like, well, you know, and, you know, as a Jew, I believe that everything does happen for the good. | ||
| Is that a Jew thought? | ||
| That things are going to end up well? | ||
| Because the history of the Jews, a lot of bad stuff happened. | ||
| It's been sort of a one endless bad thing after another all along. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like we've been pogrommed and holocausted and some other stuff. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So how does it get to the good part? | ||
| Just this once, we'll do the right thing. | ||
| Just this one time. | ||
| Please. | ||
| That's why my prayer is, just this one time we would. | ||
| Don't listen to these fucking paid leftist, fake left assholes. | ||
| They're full of fucking shit. | ||
| They're anti-union. | ||
| So you call them the fake left? | ||
| I say we can put the pal back in Palestine. | ||
| Palestinian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, you know, to me, as an old socialist, and so were my grandfather's grandmothers, they were the fucking shit that thought this shit up. | ||
| They weren't greedy pigs and they didn't want to kill people. | ||
| They just wanted profit sharing. | ||
| They wanted to be paid fairly for their labor. | ||
| And I think that that's the only real issue on earth. | ||
| And everything is a labor issue that can easily be solved. | ||
| If you take all the drama and bullshit out of it, it could be easily fucking fixed. | ||
| And then, We would so evolve to such a fucking different place. | ||
| And I think we're going there. | ||
| Our technology proves that we're going there. | ||
| And at the top of the pyramids where those programmers sit, there's a lot of really moral people. | ||
| More and more. | ||
| Because I think that you, at some point, I say, after that Dark night of the soul, that we all have, rich, poor, any color, whatever, every culture. | ||
| You've got to make the decision to look yourself in the face in the mirror. | ||
| And some people, they don't have no reflection. | ||
| And no self-reflection means they're not really a person. | ||
| We're not really human. | ||
| So basically being present, I think what you're saying, sort of being present in your own self. | ||
| Being aware. | ||
| Just being aware. | ||
| And being aware is really... So hard. | ||
| It's hard, but it's really the most human thing you can do, right? | ||
| Because that's how you don't get manipulated by all these people that are trying to split us all the time. | ||
| It's the only human thing. | ||
| If you can do this, then you can avoid that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Evil isn't really a person. | ||
| Although there are people who follow evil. | ||
| But evil itself is, it's a thought. | ||
| So it's easy to turn it off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it should be turned off. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's why I always talk about ideas on this show, because I believe that good ideas will always be bad ideas if you let them be spoke of. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of crazy shit is that? | ||
| That was crazy? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| After what I've listened to for 20 minutes, that struck you as crazy? | ||
| I don't get what you're saying. | ||
| Explain it. | ||
| That good ideas, that we have to have free speech and let everyone say whatever they want. | ||
|
unidentified
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You mean freedom. | |
| That true freedom. | ||
| You mean freedom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Real freedom. | ||
| That real freedom will always. | ||
| For good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because freedom only works for good. | ||
| It never works for bad. | ||
| And I mean, there's a shortcut for you. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Freedom always works for unity, profit sharing, justice, for women and children. | ||
| Right, nobody ever said, I'm too free, right? | ||
| No society was ever, well, why did they crumble? | ||
| Well, they were too free. | ||
| That never happened. | ||
| Well, they'll say that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| But I understand what they're saying because you can't let it be free for slavers. | ||
| You can't let it be free for evildoers. | ||
| They take away everybody else's freedom. | ||
| You've got to be for freedom. | ||
| And sometimes, what are you going to do to defend against those who don't want you to have freedom? | ||
| Therein lies the—there's the shit right there. | ||
| That's where the rubber meets the road, right? | ||
| So you were always into all this, right? | ||
| You were always. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, thinking about it, I mean, the show, Roseanne, you—nobody did what you did. | ||
| You took a family that was struggling. | ||
| Almost every episode had some struggle related to— No, Norman Lear, I mean, honestly. | ||
| Well— Him and Jackie Gleason and even Red Skelton and Lucy. | ||
| I mean, everybody— You didn't know Lucy was rich or nothing when she was just in that one room. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you did it, I guess, at a time when maybe sitcoms had— Well, I'm just saying there was a road paved for me. | ||
| I didn't just come out of nowhere. | ||
| There was a road paved for me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I guess maybe what I meant was that you did it at a time when— Molly Goldberg. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Oh, Molly Goldberg. | ||
| That's a—well, it's a remake now, but—is it even a remake? | ||
| Does the Goldbergs now have something to do with that Goldberg show? | ||
|
unidentified
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I think they tried. | |
| I'm not sure. | ||
| They tried, I think. | ||
| But I guess what I meant is that your show came on when Cosby showed a very middle—you know, sort of middle-class or almost upper-middle-class black family, which was really interesting and groundbreaking. | ||
| And then you came in and said, here's what middle America, the part that everyone forgets L.A. | ||
| doesn't care about them, New York mocks them, whatever it is. | ||
| You came in and said, this is what I'm gonna do, and the jokes were real, everything about it, the fights that you and Dan had, that you and John Goodman had, I mean, everything, it was real. | ||
| So you always, did you always realize that that was what you wanted to do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was my goal. | ||
| Like, fuck them motherfuckers, I'll show them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I knew why they were doing it, too. | ||
| And it was, A real woman-shaming thing, and I didn't like that. | ||
| What was woman-shaming? | ||
| Television. | ||
| And it pissed me off. | ||
| So I was like, oh, fuck, you know, I'm going to get in there and do this. | ||
| And it just started forming. | ||
| You know how an idea comes. | ||
| And then, you know, the jokes came. | ||
| It's always about the jokes, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was always just looking for a place to put my jokes. | ||
| I just love jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just come to me. | ||
| I don't know, I speak in jokes. | ||
| So I'm a comic, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, there's a lot of thought in comedy and comics. | ||
| We're smart. | ||
| We need more good comedy now, don't you think? | ||
| Like, I feel like we don't—like, every morning I wake up and I see something in the news and I'm like, fuck, if only George Carlin was around for this, you know? | ||
| I gotta give it up to Doug Stanhope. | ||
| I do think he's, this day and age, one of George Carlin types or children or whatever you call it, you know? | ||
| Offsprings or whatever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I have to say that I went down to Mitzi Shores, the comedy store there. | ||
| Mitzi gave us all our starts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank you, Mitzi. | ||
| And Tuesday night is, I can't remember the name because I don't remember anything, but it's all black comics. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, shit. | |
| They're on it? | ||
| I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| They're mixed media. | ||
| They're doing it with mixed media. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
| And they let me come up and dance. | ||
| But, oh, there's some genius comics on Tuesday night, Main Room Comedy Store. | ||
| Movie star level. | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| Physical. | ||
| As well, you know, we used to have those different comics. | ||
| We'd have, like, a physical guy, a guy that did characters, a guy who sang and did impressions. | ||
| These are all that in one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's scary genius. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I love seeing scary genius comedy, and I've seen a lot of it, you know? | ||
| It's out there, it's coming. | ||
| You know, if Trump wins, the only good part, really, is it's gonna be so great for comedy. | ||
| I mean, oh my God, the jokes are just fucking right. | ||
| The jokes, it'll be great for us, but not great for the country, probably. | ||
| No, I think laughing's good for the country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If Hillary gets in, it'll be like, I'm offended! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if Hillary, that's my thing right now. | ||
| Nobody will have any fucking jokes. | ||
| I don't know what I'm gonna do. | ||
| Just like they don't have no Obama jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You tell me, I mean. | ||
| Nobody did it, right? | ||
| People whisper Obama jokes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But few of them are funny, they're just stereotypes, but some of them are funny. | ||
| Yeah, so Milo, who we've talked about— He's got some funny— Well, he told me that—and I get this part of why he's supporting Trump. | ||
| He told me that this election has nothing to do with politics. | ||
| It's purely on culture. | ||
| It's on this— It's a wrestling match. | ||
| It's—basically, that's what he said. | ||
| Trump's the heel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's trying—they got to do him and the CIA and the FBI and, you know, the Federal Reserve. | ||
| They got to do everything they can to make Hillary look good to us. | ||
| They're going to some extremes. | ||
| So you think Trump's in on it? | ||
| He'll never learn good. | ||
| He's got too many fucking not-goods around her. | ||
| She should shred them, but she doesn't. | ||
| She doesn't shed any bad. | ||
| So that's scary. | ||
| Right, it just sticks with her. | ||
| If I was running, yeah, if I was running, I'd be like, fuck, I did say, no, I'm not gonna take a dime from you, motherfucker. | ||
| I got my own money, I don't need your shit. | ||
| So you kind of did, this is what I watched. | ||
| Well, I did, I paid for it. | ||
| When I watched the movie. | ||
| And now Trump, you know, when he was running in the primaries, I could steal, see, he was stealing my shit right and left, so was Bernie. | ||
| Hillary started stealing my shit on my show. | ||
| This one reporter from France came over and she interviewed me for some big intellectual Bullshit that only Jesuits read, you know? | ||
| And she said, would there be Hillary Clinton without Rosanne Conner? | ||
| I said, absolutely not. | ||
| There wouldn't be a Sarah Palin either without Roseanne Conner. | ||
| I'm not saying Roseanne Barr, except for, you know, I did animate that character. | ||
| But that character's got a life of its own. | ||
| It's my Frankenstein. | ||
| So how do we keep pushing out good stuff? | ||
| How do you get good—that's what I'm trying to do, is get some good stuff through the noise. | ||
| And it's tough, but people want it because I see it every day. | ||
| People are going, wow, we need, people want to be smart and yet the system is designed to make them dumb. | ||
| So how do you fight through that? | ||
| Well, you have to meditate and you have to find the silence inside that can combat bullshit. | ||
| You know, like, like super lady, super woman bracelets. | ||
| You have to find the calm. | ||
| Place in your mentality to just sit and behold. | ||
| Be aware. | ||
| Be aware and behold. | ||
| And do nothing. | ||
| Just be aware. | ||
| And you can do it by, you know, three steps. | ||
| Breathing in, holding the breath, and exhaling the breath. | ||
| You know, that used to be called count to ten, but it is kind of counting to ten. | ||
| But afterward, when you do it, You have some peace in your mind when you don't contain any programming or bullshit. | ||
| You're just open and you feel rather than think. | ||
| And you feel breath in your body. | ||
| Right after that you can see a lot clearer. | ||
| That's a good thing to think about rather than Hillary and Trump. | ||
| Be in your body and be aware of your body, of the food you grow and the excess of the food for profit sharing, because you might have to share your profit with your neighbors in order for them to barter something of equal value to you, because you're going to probably be without money. | ||
| So these are real things. | ||
| They're not bullshit things. | ||
| Money's paper, it's bullshit. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| It's not backed up by anything. | ||
| Just paper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Why do you work so hard to get paper for food, shelter, clothing and community and safety? | ||
| Well, you already got that shit. | ||
| If you work it, it's right in front of you. | ||
| Like cows are in a pasture full of food. | ||
| That's how the world really is, when you don't have money. | ||
| Well, fuck in there anyway. | ||
| You don't need paper to grow a tomato. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You don't need to work. | ||
| People should be working four to six hours a week. | ||
| Should we talk about weed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's talk about some weed. | ||
| We'll talk about it by having some. | ||
| If there was some weed around here before, and I know you smoke the good stuff, because I've smoked some of your weed before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got that oil. | ||
| I do, I do, the oil. | ||
| And it was almost like being on something else. | ||
| It isn't weed. | ||
| That isn't weed? | ||
| I mean, I do think it's something beside weed. | ||
| Oh, there's something else in there. | ||
| It's the oil. | ||
| The oil is something else. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you, in the movie, you were talking about how you think that weed could actually, I mean everything that you're talking about here, from the, you know, out there stuff to whatever it is, it's sort of related back to just kind of freeing the mind. | ||
| Your whole thing is freeing the mind. | ||
| Yeah, you're just thinking about things. | ||
| Why is it like that? | ||
| I like starting from there. | ||
| Why is it like this, not how did it get that way? | ||
| Because there's a lot of fucking idiots say, how did it get that way? | ||
| I was inducted into a real smart group when I was very young. | ||
| And my teacher told me, only victims ask why, or how did it get like that. | ||
| That's their spheroid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the reality they live in, but we're something else. | ||
| Right, that's something, because we live in such a victim culture, right? | ||
| Everyone is always, I always talk about the oppression Olympics here, where everyone's trying to show you how they're the most oppressed, and the system's most rigged against them. | ||
| But what you're saying is, it's not about why it is, but now it's about Just it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It is. | ||
| So now use it, right? | ||
| Like that's the next step. | ||
| As long as you're saying it's his fault, I can't change it. | ||
| Wah! | ||
| Shit my pants. | ||
| That's big baby shit. | ||
| That isn't grandmother shit. | ||
| That's big whining baby shit. | ||
| And we've been changing their pants forever. | ||
| But I mean, come on. | ||
| We've got to take care of each other. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| We've got to put our heads together and figure out how to change the system. | ||
| So that it works for people. | ||
| That's hardcore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So whether it's Trump or whether it's Hillary— It don't matter. | ||
| That's not the issue. | ||
| Because Trump, if he gets in, oh boy, I see all these people are going to get mobilized. | ||
| They're going to be like, we've got to take control of our local government. | ||
| In fact, that is what you have to do. | ||
| And that was what was so great about kicking Monsanto off the Big Island, because Monsanto wasn't just trying to legislate the type of seeds I could use. | ||
| They were doing that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| On your own land. | ||
| That's what they're trying to tell you what to do. | ||
| And that's what they do here. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just trying to watch what grows on my own land. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because that was like all the experiments for a hundred years by Dole Pineapple and shit. | ||
| So much fucking shit grows over there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I like take pictures of it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Oh, I know what I was going to say. | ||
| Not only were they trying to tell us what we could plant, but what the real thing is, is they were trying to make local government obsolete. | ||
| And that is what they're really doing. | ||
| They all do two things. | ||
| The one is the circus for idiots. | ||
| I shouldn't even say idiots. | ||
| The unaware. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's the real shit. | ||
| And they're trying to make local government illegal, for Christ's sake. | ||
| That's what the Patriot Act is really about. | ||
| So, how do you fight the fight? | ||
| You've got to get involved at the local—the smallest level is what matters, because that's how they did it. | ||
| That's how they brought fascism to our country, using the war on drugs, which was really a war for drugs. | ||
| And I say it's rich people on prescription drugs. | ||
| Locking up poor people on street drugs. | ||
| That's a war on drugs, for drugs. | ||
| And they brought Mexico in. | ||
| And Bill Clinton did it all. | ||
| And there they are. | ||
| Yeah, we want him back. | ||
| He sent all our jobs away. | ||
| NAFTA. | ||
| Got rid of aid to dependent children. | ||
| Some bullshit instead of universal health care. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| I mean, if she gets in, I imagine the equal amount of people on the other side are going to get mobilized and start running for office, too. | ||
| And this is the great thing. | ||
| If there is anything great about democracy, it's that you've got to work it for it to work. | ||
| However, I did have lunch one time with a royal. | ||
| I won't say who because, you know, I don't want to put them at risk. | ||
| They are a good person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
OK. | |
| She, he told me, said, this was their feeling on the subject. | ||
| People did a lot better under kings because, you know, the king would take care of his laborers. | ||
| He had to. | ||
| I mean, you know, he'd have some slaves too. | ||
| She didn't see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Somehow they forgot that part. | ||
| We built houses for them. | ||
| You know, we let them have doctors that go to college. | ||
| And what'd they fucking do? | ||
| They start talking about democracy, and that's what they get. | ||
| And as Victor Hugo said, democracy is two wolves and a lamb deciding what to have for lunch. | ||
| So it's the wild, wild east and west, but there is a political compromise in between the two, and that's what I write about. | ||
| I do believe in freedom. | ||
| So it seems to me that a lot of the things that you're talking about, and we're sort of all over the place here, but there is a theme here, sort of around socialism, but at the same time you're really talking about the individual, because you're basically saying, get your shit right, think right, get local instead of big. | ||
| Yeah, it's not socialism as the socialists define socialism. | ||
| I'm for some socialist solutions to problems. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that doesn't mean that I'm a Stalinist. | ||
| It actually sounds libertarian to me, a lot of the things you say. | ||
| Well, I don't like them because we do need government. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By God, we need intelligent, efficient government. | ||
| So I, you know, I want a synthesis called people-ism, where we just like solve fucking problems. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And nobody's getting rich off keeping the problem going. | ||
| So when you ran, you ran first for the Green Party, for people that don't know you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you ran for the Green Party ticket— For the Green Party nomination. | |
| For the nomination, and you eventually lost to Jill Stein, who has run how many times? | ||
| 87 times before or something? | ||
| Well, their last candidate before Jill Stein was Cynthia McKinney. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So was that— Before her, it was Ralph Nader. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So, Jill, though, struck me as, when I watched the documentary, she's very much like a politician, like a normal politician. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you came into the Green Party— She speaks her language. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She spoke just the—but it doesn't get you anywhere in the system, right? | ||
| It doesn't—the Democrats and the Republicans, if you just speak their language, but you're not one of them, that's not going to get you into the system. | ||
| And you basically were like, fuck this. | ||
| I'm going to speak the way I speak. | ||
| I'm going to talk about these things. | ||
| And to me, they could have— Jumped on you and said this would be at least a way of cracking the system a little bit. | ||
| But ultimately they didn't go with you? | ||
| They want to stay tight and white. | ||
| And, you know, they want the matching funds. | ||
| Again, money, I don't, you know. | ||
| On the local level, I'll say when I ran, I did get the nomination of the Peace and Freedom Party, and I was very excited because they were a real socialist party. | ||
| But then when I asked people to do work for free, they got really offended. | ||
| And they're like, well, I've got to make money for that. | ||
| And I said, you don't get paid for being a revolutionary in my campaign. | ||
| You do it because you have to do it. | ||
| You don't do it for a job, because those people always sell you out. | ||
| I want a true believer's fire in the bellies. | ||
| I got a few of them and made it to three ballots because of them and the work they did. | ||
| They got out there and got the signatures. | ||
| You got like the sixth most amount of votes, right? | ||
| Which is no small feat in only three states. | ||
| It only took three states to put me in sixth place out of 50 candidates. | ||
| So I thought, oh, these are some good Things that people who come after can, you know, probably Kanye West will be doing it in 2020. | ||
| Roseanne Kanye. | ||
| I could see it. | ||
| Do you think we have a chance? | ||
| Do you think we have a chance to get out of this freaking thing? | ||
| So I get what you're saying. | ||
| There's goodness coming. | ||
| People are waking up. | ||
| And then you're also talking about a lot of bad stuff. | ||
| But in just terms of the political stuff, do you think there'll be a chance? | ||
| Like, could somebody actually good do it? | ||
| Well, I did it. | ||
| Yeah, but can someone break through Can I break through? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| Can somebody— We can break through in our own ways. | ||
| Not somebody. | ||
| Can you do it? | ||
| Me. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna do it? | ||
| I'm right here. | ||
| You're gonna run in 2020? | ||
| Is there anybody else but me? | ||
| No, there isn't. | ||
| And that's what really fucking pissed me off, because people are like, oh, she's doing it and everything. | ||
| And I wanted to show, hey, what if you really run for the values all of America says they believe in? | ||
| Are they gonna vote for you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But I, you know, that's disturbing, because that's just nothing but dirty mind control. | ||
| And when you sit in front of people, yourself included, sorry, and you say, no, I have the answers. | ||
| I put a lot of thought into how we're going to live through the collapse of capitalism. | ||
| Show me one other candidate who's saying anything like that. | ||
| And there isn't any. | ||
| And then they go, well, is there a chance somebody could say something? | ||
| And I'm saying, I'm saying it. | ||
| You know, but because I'm—I think it's because I'm a woman. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And hot. | ||
| And I'm just too fucking smart. | ||
| You know, people can't accept Me? | ||
| I can't be responsible if people don't want to hear it. | ||
| I had to really separate out from that. | ||
| If people don't want to hear it, fuck them. | ||
| No, I don't think that there's any hope that we're going to live through this shit. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| I think there's an infinitesimal—I think it's 99% that we'll all be dead within 40 years and the earth with it. | ||
| I think there's a 1% chance that if we were to start taking care of each other and valuing real shit like each other's lives and getting food to hungry kids and stopping all this bullshit, if on the offhand chance we would ever do the right thing just this once, I have great hope. | ||
| That it would save everything. | ||
| I'm just so proud that I think that I wrote the words that kicked Monsanto out of Hawaii. | ||
| And I know that to myself that I did that for my grandkids and other people's grandkids. | ||
| And I just want to do what's right for kids and I'm not going to stop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think if I know anything about you, it's that you won't stop. | ||
| That seems so obvious to me, just knowing your history, which we barely touched on, and then everything with the show, and then everything I know about you now. | ||
| This is the stuff, like, it's not like one of these people that come on shows or they talk one thing and they're living something else. | ||
| I've never seen you sort of— I've been there, done that. | ||
| I did that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did that? | |
| That was the worst part of my life, where I like totally— All right, let's do this. | ||
| I don't ever want to go there. | ||
| Was that like at the peak of your fame? | ||
| That was that time? | ||
| Yeah, that was some isolated... | ||
| Give me like a minute of that. | ||
| What's that like, when you at that point, you were making God knows how much money? | ||
| A million a week. | ||
| Right, so a million a week. | ||
| That wouldn't even be Beyonce lunch money nowadays. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it was pretty good for back then. | ||
| Then it was the highest. | ||
| You knocked Cosby off number one. | ||
| You ran—you basically took full control of the show, pretty much, although you were fighting with executives still. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And all that stuff. | ||
| But what was that—when you think back to that period of your life, when you had that much power, you know, we don't have to talk about the national anthem thing, but the president of the United States said that you were despicable. | ||
| Well, that was after the end. | ||
| That was the down, that wasn't here. | ||
| So what was that? | ||
| When you think about it, what was it like to be that much of a sort of cultural force? | ||
| It was really lonely. | ||
| It was scary lonely. | ||
| Psychopath, fucking vampires everywhere. | ||
| Scary lonely. | ||
| Real isolating. | ||
| Lonely. | ||
| That's not where you want to be if you're a comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, we're loners, but we always need somebody to, you know, be real with. | ||
| And that's just how it goes. | ||
| I see it, you know. | ||
| I lived through it. | ||
| That's how I look at it. | ||
| And a lot of other artists, they didn't live through it. | ||
| A lot of comics nowadays, great comics. | ||
| They're not living through it. | ||
| They're homeless. | ||
| They don't have no teeth. | ||
| They were great comics. | ||
| Nobody gets paid for comedy. | ||
| Nobody gets paid. | ||
| And there's no retirement or nothing. | ||
| Is there like one moment that you regret in the chaos of that time? | ||
| Nothing, right? | ||
| No, because it's all like, shit, I can sit all day and think if I want. | ||
| And I do love it, and read all day, and fuckin' lay in bed and not take a shower for three days, and have a stack of magazines, and somebody to bring me food. | ||
| Landa, could you bring me? | ||
| Yeah, it's just great. | ||
| Right, and you can fight with people on Twitter. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, I got into that Twitter thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tried to ingather like-minded folk, And I think that I've introduced maybe 20 of them, so that was worth it. | ||
| I think you got a couple people. | ||
| I like introducing smart people to other smart people and then they do something. | ||
| And, you know, never call me again, but, like, take me out for dinner once a year or something. | ||
| Don't ask me if I can shepherd your way through. | ||
| You're two young people with good ideas. | ||
| Fucking make something happen. | ||
| Believe me. | ||
| Just, you know, make me proud of you. | ||
| I like introducing young people that take action. | ||
| I'm proud of them. | ||
| But, you know, I want to just lay in bed and watch my murder shows. | ||
| And go to Costco and get the samples. | ||
| I know you like that, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| It is so awesome. | ||
| You do love it. | ||
| Every time I'm having a sample at Costco, I think, Roseanne loves it. | ||
| Oh God, and they're good! | ||
| That's pretty good, yeah. | ||
| They're real good. | ||
| They're just handing out food. | ||
| Shit, that's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They should start sampling the wine too, I think, but they never do that. | ||
| They never do that. | ||
| You can't get drunk and be riding one of those giant carts. | ||
| Oh, those people are all drunk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I want to ask you. | ||
| Don't bring up. | ||
| Because one thing that you were sort of hitting on, you were, that I've talked about for a long time now, is what I call the regressive left. | ||
| These people that are on the left that don't actually stand for liberal values. | ||
| You call it the fake left. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I saw you on Twitter probably two years ago, before I was really on this thing about the regressive. | ||
| You would always be talking about the fake left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So when did you realize that there was this— When I ran for Green Party president. | ||
| When I saw, you know, oh man, these guys are all rich. | ||
| They're just wanting matching funds so they can go to soirees and cocktail parties, you know, and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| I just met like somebody who was a huge donor Democrat things. | ||
| This was way back when. | ||
| And their spouse was at a party. | ||
| The spouse came in all in designer shit and goes, "Can I say something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm having a labor issue." | |
| I was like, "Why am I always there to see the worst fucking shit on earth?" | ||
| And I'm always there seeing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want all of my maids to wear French maid outfits. | |
| But my husband said that I could get, this wouldn't be right. | ||
| I'm like, oh my fucking God, why am I seeing this? | ||
| So of course I can't shut up. | ||
| Mike, you're gonna get your motherfuckin' ass sued and handed to you. | ||
| There's labor laws. | ||
| You can't break fuckin' labor laws. | ||
| Can you not make your maid wear a maid's outfit? | ||
| I guess if they sign a Hollywood release or some shit, you tell them it's a reality show. | ||
| I love it around anything, but it's all just fuckin' bullshit. | ||
| They're not pro-union. | ||
| When's the last time you heard fuckin' Jill Stein say a goddamn word about union labor? | ||
| Well, it just doesn't happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's about boycotting Israel. | ||
| And that's what they're all about, because that anti-Semite shit, it works. | ||
| And those guys, those pharaohs writing the checks, that's a great misdirection. | ||
| Wait, so it's not the Jews writing the checks? | ||
| No, it's pharaohs. | ||
| So, you've become a huge defender of Israel, which I think is amazing, because in this business— I've always— Been what I thought was a defender of Israel. | ||
| And when I, because when I was a little girl, that was my whole life. | ||
| It was, you know, Palestine, we called it before they stole that word from us. | ||
| But my uncle, she used to sing, if your name is A.B., join the Jewish Navy. | ||
| Fight, fight, fight for Palestine. | ||
| That was in, you know. | ||
| Yeah, that's how it was. | ||
| And Palestine was where the Jews lived. | ||
| That's why the Arabs boycotted Palestine, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and they have had a boycott on Jews, the Arabs have, way before Israel existed. | ||
| Hello? | ||
| And it's just all bullshit. | ||
| And I think that fake left, what their cover is, they just cover for empire, and empire, you know, royal empire, pharaohs, you know, they Stole all the money of the Iraqi Jews and kicked them out all the time. | ||
| The fake left was not talking about labor and ethnic cleansing of Jewish wealth in the Arab world, because they were getting paid by the pharaohs to say that shit. | ||
| And I knew it was fake. | ||
| I knew it was fake when I addressed the Green Party delegates in Florida in 2011. | ||
| And I'm like, you've got to get rid of Stand Your Ground gun law. | ||
| They didn't know about Trayvon Martin. | ||
| I think it hadn't happened yet. | ||
| That was a stand your ground. | ||
| I knew that was fucking not a good law for people. | ||
| You know, and it's all based on how are they going to lock up pot smoking kids to go to those jails and work for those corporations for 16 cents an hour. | ||
| It's a predatory system. | ||
| I mean, we know enough to call it predatory lending, but it's way bigger than predatory lending. | ||
| That's when you go to church to pray and a pedo gets you. | ||
| It's beyond predatory. | ||
| It's a pirate predatory system. | ||
| And children are its prey, and I don't like that. | ||
| And I don't like anybody who aids that. | ||
| And no grandmas do. | ||
| Grandpas don't either. | ||
| Decent people. | ||
| They're nodding off at the television. | ||
| People who don't have kids or whatever. | ||
| Decent people don't like that kind of system, and they don't even dare look at it, because they're like this. | ||
| You know, that's like when Moses went and, you know, he killed the taskmaster, you know. | ||
| Moses was the prince of Egypt. | ||
| And he went and killed that taskmaster, because it's like, you can't be. | ||
| You're going to, somebody bigger than you, It's gonna come along. | ||
| And I guess that's just the history of the world, right? | ||
| Who's ever got the shithammer wins. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the shithammer, violence and all that war stuff, that comes with whoever can write the checks for the armies. | ||
| Always money for more bombs, right? | ||
| We don't have money for roads, but there's always money for more bombs. | ||
| Except for now, there's no money. | ||
| So something new is here. | ||
| There's no money. | ||
| Sooner or later, those chicks are going to bounce or some tragedy like Dallas is going to, you know, happen over and over here. | ||
| And people are going to have to do something different. | ||
| They're going to have to take care of each other. | ||
| That's like why it's kind of good in a horrible way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the good part that you talked about at the beginning. | |
| We're supposed to get to that anyway. | ||
| That's what it tells us we're supposed to do. | ||
| Just, you know, take care of each other. | ||
| Can we end this in a funny manner? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's get to a funny place to end this. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I have a feeling. | ||
| I think it's all funny. | ||
| At the end of the day—but this is all proof why you're a comic, right? | ||
| Like, at the end of the day, all this. | ||
| It's all like, at the end— At the end, I'll say this. | ||
| At the end, like, my boyfriend Johnny says—he's quoting somebody and I can't remember who, but it's like, everything's strung together with words. | ||
| Everything's a narrative and strung together with words, and history proves that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But words can take it all apart, too. | ||
| And that's why comedy is so fucking great, because it's just like, bam, bam! | ||
| I'm shooting right to the heart of the beast, which is in me. | ||
| I'm going to live for truth like I say I do. | ||
| I'm going to value truth and talk it and live it and just, you know, value it. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because I know you want me to announce something funny. | ||
| I think idiots are funny. | ||
| Well, we've got plenty of those. | ||
| I laugh at the idiot system, and that's the thing I was going to say about words. | ||
| Laughing your idiot system to scorn is the greatest gift that comics freely offer humanity. | ||
| And, you know, like I said, Doug, Stan, Hope, you, anybody who's funny or saying anything real, fucking go see them, support them. | ||
| Say, go further. | ||
| We want to hear more. | ||
| And fucking start laughing this shit to scorn because it's just fucking ridiculous. | ||
| It's ridiculous that it doesn't work. | ||
| And that it's, like, as stupid as it fucking is. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Well, listen, I have a feeling— Oh, jeez. | ||
| I have a feeling we're going to do this again, but I just want to take a second just to thank you, because you—we met only in the last three years or so, but I feel like you somehow saw something in me that— Not really. | ||
| No? | ||
| I was just really drunk. | ||
| I was just really drunk. | ||
| You did take a bong hit and then said hi to me, so I knew it. | ||
| No, I liked your laugh and your smile. | ||
| You laughed at my joke, so I go, this guy's a genius. | ||
| And then we started talking, and you were really funny and made me laugh. | ||
| Anyone who can make me laugh, I just value them, especially now. | ||
| We all need to laugh. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, holy cow. | ||
| Thank you to Roseanne Barr. | ||
| We did a lot there. | ||
| If you can follow around, there's something there. | ||
| You can find out more about Roseanne at roseanneworld.com. | ||
| And I'm pretty sure if you smoke enough weed, you will find her on the celestial plane. | ||
| So thanks for watching. |
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