Yes, America's Anchorman is away and this is your undocumented anchorman sitting in.
No supporting paperwork whatsoever.
Thrilled and honored to be here live at Ice Station EIB, just a stone's throw from the Quebec border here in far northern New Hampshire.
If you're fleeing the country, do swing by and say hello to us.
You can't miss us.
There's a big sign up on the highway saying Last Rush Guest Host Before the Border.
I've had various emails and tweets and whatnot from people who said that I mentioned something called, I think it was, I think it's, is it the Northeastern Republican Convention or whatever it's called?
Anyway, it's for all the Northeastern Republicans.
And apparently that's about 17 states.
Actually, Governor Bobby Jindal is speaking at it.
Is Louisiana part of the Northeast Republic?
Is that a Northeast Republican state?
What's a Southeast Republican state then, Brazil?
Anyway, Northeast Republican Conference, it's in Nashua this Friday and Saturday.
And all the gang will be there.
There will be Senator Kelly Ayot, my own great senator from here in New Hampshire.
Governor Jindal, as I mentioned, Rick Santorum will be there.
I'll be Peter King from New York.
Luis Fortuno from Puerto Rico is Puerto Rico part of the Northeast Republican.
That's amazing.
So the Southeast Republican, that's like the Falkland Islands there.
Okay, down by the...
I just want to check the map here.
He'll be...
He'll be speaking there, and I will be speaking there.
And that's like in Nashua, New Hampshire, which from my corner of northern New Hampshire is like a seven-hour drive.
When people say, why were you speaking in Ottawa rather than at CPAC?
Ottawa is like 20 minutes from here, whereas Nashua, New Hampshire is like a seven-hour drive.
But I will be there.
And I think, I gather it's like a huge thing that it's like all the big shot Republican power brokers from New Hampshire down to Puerto Rico, apparently.
That's just the Northeast.
Who knows which of the 57 states make it into the Southeastern and Northwestern Republican conferences?
But that's this Friday and Saturday.
And somebody else, Stephen Hordick, tweeted, he's listing in New Jersey and he says that the station has the most static on it than he had ever heard.
I think you'll find, Stephen, that's actually just my accent.
It may go away at 3 p.m. Eastern, so I wouldn't worry about that too much at all.
And by the way, just on this thing that we were talking about with John before the break, the 501c3, the 501c4.
America, there's a story in the New York Times today that's not unrelated to that.
For non-profits, a bigger share of the economy.
The overall economy has been expanding slowly, says Anna Bernasek, a business correspondent from the New York Times.
But at least one sector is vibrant.
Non-profits, which have been growing at a breakneck pace, from 2001 to 2011, the number of non-profits in the United States grew 25%.
While the number of for-profit businesses, this is the business when we were talking earlier with a listener who owns a carpet cleaning company in Clearwater, Florida.
That's the old dying for-profit sector of the U.S. economy.
From 2001 to 2011, the number of non-profits in the United States grew 25%, while the number of for-profit businesses rose by half of 1%, according to the most recent figures compiled by the Urban Institute.
By the way, I have no idea what the Urban Institute is, but I would bet that that is itself a non-profit.
There are still considerably more businesses than non-profits, of course, about four times as many, says the New York Times airily.
That in itself is astonishing.
Do you realize that means that non-profits are about 20% now, there are now 20% of the total businesses in the United States are non-profits.
That's absolutely astonishing.
I mentioned this when I was on the show a couple of years ago.
I'd been at a Vermont, what we laughably call a university in Vermont, an institution of higher education.
And every student you talk to in Vermont wants to work for a non-profit.
The entire state of Vermont is a huge non-profit.
The United States of America is degenerating into the biggest non-profit in history.
But that's what all the young people want to work for them now, the non-profits.
Oh, I'd love to work for, I'd like to work.
I think I'd like to work for a non-profit.
That's where the big bucks are, apart from anything else.
You look at people who make programs for public television, the Sierra Club, all these people, plan pay, and you can live very well working at a non-profit.
Whereas if you go and start a carpet cleaning business in Clearwater, Florida, you'll be working back-breaking hours, back-breaking work, 75, 80 hours a week.
Go and work for a non-profit.
If only you could set up a non-profit carpet cleaning business, it'd probably be hugely lucrative for you.
But the entire, we are deforming the economic structure of the United States by incentivizing the move into all kinds of activities away from primary wealth creation, which is what's actually killing the Western world right now, is that not enough people do not enough real work for not enough of their lives.
It's no more complicated than that.
But instead, we go, let's, oh yes, I'm going and getting a job doing government outreach at the Sierra Club.
And I'll make a great salary and contribute absolutely nothing to the economy.
That's a story in the New York Times today.
Also, this is a critical story.
An upskirt ban in Massachusetts has been signed into law.
Do you know about upskirting?
It's apparently this practice where if you get on a train or a bus or whatever, everyone's got telephones, secret spy camera, the sort of thing only James Bond had 40 years ago.
Now got the secret super spy camera.
So you can use your phone to take photographs of ladies whose skirts may be a bit indelicately short or whatever and maybe revealing a little more than they intended to.
So there's all kinds of people taking these upskirt photographs on the MBTA, Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority.
Michael Robertson, 32, was arrested in 2010, used his cell phone to take pictures and record video up the skirts and dresses of women riding on the trolley.
Clang, clang, clang went the trolley.
And Michael Robertson, for him, it was the merry peal of the most delightful part of it's his day because he took upskirt pictures of women.
And when he was arrested by police who staged a decoy operation, they sent these Massachusetts transit cops in short skirts to sit opposite him on the trolley, he was arrested and the lower court ruled against him.
But he appealed his case all the way to the Massachusetts Supreme Court.
And Justice Margot Botsford said that taking that upskirting ruled that upskirting is constitutional in Massachusetts, apparently.
This was just last week, that it does not break Massachusetts law to take a photograph up the skirt of a young lady.
So this was a landmark decision that upskirting is constitutional in Massachusetts.
Nothing else is, by the way.
Nothing else is constitutional in Massachusetts.
You don't have any gun rights in Massachusetts.
You don't have any free speech really in Massachusetts.
It's a one-party state, effectively.
But upskirting is the one activity that is constitutional in Massachusetts, according to Justice Margot Botsford of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court.
So at the end of last week, late on Friday, Governor Patrick, Devol Patrick, signed a bill making photographing or recording video under a person's clothing, i.e., down their blouse to see their cleavage or up their skirt, a crime.
So that the secret photographing or videotaping up somebody's skirt or down a shirt is now a crime, punishable by up to two and a half years in jail.
And it was fascinating to me because in a strange way, upskirting is now the is whatever Governor Patrick's new law says, upskirting is basically the entire organizing principle of the United States government.
Not just in the literal sense, that when you go to the airport, whatever Governor Patrick says, when you go to Logan Airport in Boston, you can be upskirted as much as they want to do it to you.
The United States government reserves the right to photograph and fondle your genitals every time you go get on a plane.
Basically, the TSA is upskirting you 24-7.
The NSA is upskirting you 24-7 in the sense that they're going through your lives with forensic detail.
In fact, doing the electronic equivalent of what the TSA do with their fingers.
Obamacare is upskirting you in the healthcare sense, in that that represents the governmentalization of healthcare, which in turn means that the government has to improve all kinds of intimate information that you ought to be between you and your doctor will now be shared not only with your insurer, but effectively with the government of the United States as well.
So we live in a republic of upskirting.
One can be heartened that Governor Patrick has now signed a bill outlawing upskirting in Massachusetts.
But it doesn't change the fact that Marco Botsford and the Massachusetts Supreme Court had previously ruled that you could upskirt away and the fact that with the IRS actually is upskirting you.
We heard from Patricia in, I think it was Bristol, Indiana, who announced that she is being preemptively audited, even though it's not going to be tax filing day for another five weeks.
We are midway through tax season, by the way, a revolting term, the idea that tax requires a whole season ought to be obnoxious to people.
Well, we are five weeks away from tax filing day.
And nevertheless, Patricia has received notice that she's being preemptively audited, pre-audited, for taxes she has not yet filed.
They don't know.
They don't know what she's claiming.
They don't know what her deductions are.
They don't know what she's paying.
They don't know what refund she's demanding.
But they've decided to audit her anyway for no particular reason, except as she notes that she made a contribution to Governor Romney a year or so back.
So they're basically, the IRS reserves the right to upskirt every aspect of your life too.
We live in whatever the Massachusetts, whatever the Massachusetts Supreme Court says, we are now living in the Republic of upskirting by the NSA, by the Department of Justice, by the IRS, by the TSA, by the full alphabet soup of the federal government.
Mark Stein in for Rush, 1-800-282-2882.
Mark Stein, Infra Rush on the EIB network.
There is no upskirting at the Unplug SF party at a crowded North Beach bar in San Francisco, according to the San Francisco Chronicle, because this is a new kind of bar where the young people who go to these bars have to surrender their cell phones at the door.
You know, when you go into a bar, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and it's all convivial and enjoy the company.
And instead, you just go in and all you see in the darkened bar are just like thumbs, thumbs vibrating in the dark as people tweet each other.
Even though they're in a room with other young people that they could meet and pick up and take back to their place, instead they just rather tweet and text each other with the little devices.
Well, this bar in San Francisco is one of a number of bars now making you surrender your cell phone at the door.
So you have to start using all the old line.
You can't just tweet the girl on the next stool that, you know, my wife doesn't understand me.
You actually have to say it to her in person and see whether it still works.
But it's so it's a new thing.
People are trying like human contact and human conversation in this San Francisco bar and seeing if that can make a comeback.
Because now when you like you go in, people are just, even though they're meeting somebody on a date and they're still just their thumbs are working and they're tweeting and texting all through the date.
And like the phone, the two cell phones, they're having a great time.
Like, you know, taking the selfies, taking the photographs.
The two phones could just go back to their pad and have a great one-night stand on their own.
They haven't.
The two phones are having a much better time than the guy and the girl.
But now, but now at the San Francisco bar, they're saying, no, you've got to surrender your cell phone at the door.
And so human contact, human contact may be making a comeback.
And then maybe people won't fall for the electronic theater like Barbara Boxer doing her all-night talk-a-thon tonight.
Let's go to Dale in southern New Jersey, mysteriously.
No more specifically located than that.
Dale, you're live on the Rush Limbaugh show.
Great to have you with us.
Thank you, Mark.
It's always so enjoyable and formative listening to you.
I just wanted to start that off, you know.
Well, that's very clear.
I tell you what, if we're interested in being informative, which bit of southern New Jersey are you in exactly?
I'm here in the Pinelands, you know, that desolate area of New Jersey.
If you fly over it, it's totally dark at night.
You know, people don't know it even exists, you know, out here.
No, no.
Actually, it looks like North Korea at night.
There's not a well that happens to be one of my suggestions, but before I say that, I must admit to you that I do have some Canadian connections too, you know, through my wife by marriage.
Her grandmother was a Canadian citizen, lived in London, Ontario.
She still has cousins there, etc.
So, wait a minute.
So, let me work this out.
Your wife's grandmother was Canadian.
Yeah.
So, that means, like Ted Cruz, you're not eligible to run for the presidency, I believe, Dale.
Oh, yeah, I guess that's true.
Yeah, you'll just have to live.
We can't take any chances.
If your wife's got a grandmother in London, Ontario, we can't let you anywhere near the Oval Office.
And I also worked in Etobicoke and Scarborough, so that I guess disqualifies me, too.
You know how to pronounce Etobicoke.
It's got a silent K in it.
Nothing you and I are saying now makes sense to the tens of millions of Rush listeners.
And they're about to balance their budget up there, too.
It's amazing.
They have balanced their budget.
Exactly.
Last year, they had a last year, by the way, they had a $6 billion deficit.
That's billion with a B.
No trillions involved.
And this year, they will have an $18 billion surplus.
And those are numbers that you don't even find in a Washington budget anymore.
They're rounding errors in an Obama budget.
Hey, two comments or suggestion and a comment, if I may.
Latter one's very serious, but the first one, semi-serious, I guess, but you started the program off with North Korea and 100% election results for Kim Jong-hon.
And I have a suggestion that Emperor Barakus Obamas I, and I've Latinized his name because it's an imperial, truly an imperial presidency, that he send Jimmy Carter to North Korea and also to the Crimea, who has their parliament, I guess, unanimously voted to join Russia as well.
That these unanimous votes be audited by Carter just to make sure everything's on the up and up like he's done in so many other countries.
Yeah, that's true, because if you're a big shot dictator, you haven't really been reelected until Jimmy Carter and the UN observers have signed off on the result.
You're absolutely right there.
It's not valid until Jimmy Carter has pronounced.
Excellent idea.
We will put him on the first flight to Pyongyang.
Excellent suggestion, Dale.
Exactly.
So that's point number one.
Number two is very quite serious, and it has to do with Ukraine and Poland and Czechoslovakia and all the countries that were recently liberated from Soviet domination under Ronald Reagan.
And that is the whole issue of missile defense.
And this is something that I follow very closely.
And frankly, it sickens me to think about it because under Reagan, a strategic defense initiative, someone under Bush, these things were being really investigated.
Great strides were being made.
Along comes William Jefferson Clinton, who signed an agreement, by the way, about protecting the Ukraine after they gave up their nuclear missile defense, after they gave up their nuclear missiles.
He basically Clinton put it on the shelf: give the Russians and the Chinese time to catch up with our technology.
And now you have King Barakas, Obama's basically limiting it to a few destroyers out there somewhere, with some modicum of ballistic missile defense, whereas Israel...
Hold that thought there, Dale.
We'll come back to you after the break.
But I got to take an EIB obscene profit center break right now.
We will return with this momentarily.
Yes, Rush returns.
He's at a charity event today, but he will be back live tomorrow to take you through the end of the week with full-scale, authentic, all-American excellence in broadcasting.
We have none of that going on on the air at the moment because Dale, who purports to be from the Pinelands in southern New Jersey, actually turns out to be some sort of sinister Canadian, once worked in Etobicoke, Ontario, where I lived, as it happened.
It's actually now, I think it's March the 10th, so it's actually Commonwealth Day today.
So we Canadians and Australians and New Zealanders and Bermudans and whatnot can all talk among ourselves.
And the American listeners could all retune to the Light FM channel.
Anyway, Dale from the Pinelands in New Jersey.
Dale, you were explaining the missile defense situation as it prevailed under Reagan Bush 1 Clinton and bringing us up to the present time.
The missile defense situation.
Basically, these guys, the liberated Eastern European states, Poland, the Czech Republic, and everyone, thought they would be covered by it.
And then Obama came to office and told them, sorry, we're pulling the plug on that.
That is correct.
And he said he put it on some destroyers.
And I think there were six that are scheduled to be slated to be put on, but definitely scaled down.
And my basic point was we could have had a missile defense system par excellence, the best in the world.
And instead, for one-tenth of the cost of the money he's spreading around to buy his boats here in this country and Obamacare and all the rest, one-tenth of that cost could have put us in a position where we would not have been breached by ballistic missiles from overseas or from any other source,
including Iran, that can park a craft off of our shores as they're planning on doing now and launch a missile that could reach us in a couple days, excuse me, a couple of minutes.
So Israel has a system that we help pay for.
I know the guy who helped develop that with them.
And they have three levels of defense, the Iron Dome, another one, and the Arrow for the larger ballistic missiles, the higher flying ones.
We could have been far ahead of anybody else in the game.
But these people purposely delayed our efforts and sidestepped them and did everything they could to ensure that we wouldn't have that and leave us basically in a defenseless position.
Yeah, and insofar, Dale, as this applies to what's going on right now, essentially, the plan was to have a far perimeter,
a far perimeter of missile defense that would include the Western-oriented states of Eastern Europe who were artificially sealed in a prison state from 1945 to 1989 and came out of that prison state.
Many of them have now joined the European Union and have joined NATO and are, in fact, de facto members of the Western Alliance.
But Putin doesn't recognize that.
Putin doesn't recognize that.
And so he pushed hard against the idea of situating American missile defense in what he regarded as Russia's sphere of influence.
And Obama conceded that to him.
And the lesson, Dale, here is that generally the guy who means it gets his way.
And people understand at a certain level that Putin means it.
People in that part of the world understand that.
They may not like him.
They may not want to be under the umbrella of Russia any more than people want to be under the nuclear umbrella of the guys in Tehran.
But those guys mean it too.
And Obama told the world first with the missile defense reversal for Poland and the Czech Republic, and then with the red line in Syria.
He told the world, and with Benghazi, when an American ambassador was killed, his body dragged through the streets, three other Americans killed.
Nobody's been arrested for that.
Nobody's paid a price for that.
It's a year and a half ago, and it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Because it wasn't covered because it got in the way of Obama's re-election.
But all these things tell the world that the red line in Syria, there wasn't a red line.
The commitment to Poland and the Czech Republic, there wasn't a commitment to Poland and the Czech Republic.
The pledge to bring the perpetrators of what happened in Benghazi to justice that proved to be absolutely worthless.
So Obama has told the world that America doesn't mean it.
If you're the Taliban, why would you bother negotiating with the Americans?
They're going to be gone and you can do what you want.
Why do a deal with them?
Who cares about them?
They don't mean it.
Americans don't mean it.
Putin means it.
The Mullers mean it.
The Taliban mean it.
But America doesn't mean it.
And that's what Barack Obama has told the world.
And that actually comes at a high price if you do that as often as he does.
And that's why the whole foreign policy theater of the last couple of days, the guy goes to Key Lago for the weekend to play golf.
So he's there having a great time with his buddies, playing golf.
But it's important to show that he's engaged with what's going on in the world.
So we photograph him placing a phone call to David Cameron in London.
He's talking to the guys in Latvia and Lithuania and Estonia.
And everybody takes this seriously.
And the media cover it.
And the newspapers cover it.
And the Sunday talk shows say, well, President Obama spoke yesterday with Prime Minister Cameron in London by telephone.
And Prime Minister Cameron asked him how his golf game was going.
No, no, no.
I mean, Prime Minister Cameron said he's gravely concerned, as he's sure President Obama is gravely concerned about what's happening in Ukraine.
And all this theater is just missed.
So foreign policy is of no interest to Obama except in two ways.
If it's bad news that they can hang around his neck, like Benghazi, then, whoa, that's nothing.
That's a nothing story.
We don't cover it.
There's nothing to see here.
There's no move on.
If there's anybody at fault in this story, it's some video maker in Los Angeles.
So we'll trump up some, because we're the upskirt republic, the republic of upskirting, we can find some technical violation to nail him on, and we can send a bigger, more heavily armed force to arrest some no-name, nothing loser guy in Los Angeles than we had guarding an American diplomatic facility in one of the most dangerous parts of the world.
We'll send a more heavily armed force to get that guy and toss him in jail for some nothing little violation, because in the Republic of paperwork, we're all guilty of 300 different things at every hour of the day, and we'll kill that story stone dead.
That's the first kind of foreign policy story.
The other kind of foreign policy story is when you're not going to do anything about it, you're irrelevant to the story.
Everybody knows that America is just a spectator, that Obama is a spectator as much as Mrs. Mabel Scroggins of 47 Elm Street or whoever I said a couple of hours ago.
He's just a spectator.
So in that case, you use foreign policy stuff that you're never going to be involved with, you're never going to be relevant to, as a great distraction from the implosion of what's happening on the domestic scene.
And the great question, the basic question coming up for Americans is whether the new normal, the reality, the downsized lives, the 50 million, is 50 million people on food stamps a permanent feature of life in the United States?
Is the number of people going on Social Security disability, taking themselves out of the labor market forever, a permanent feature of life in the United States?
Permanent multi-generational dependency?
Is that now what it means to be an American?
Is this the anemic job growth that never reflects itself in new businesses, new opportunities, better salaries, the ability to live your life to your fullest potential?
Is that now the new normal in the United States?
Obama has made a bet enough, and in November 2012, it worked out very well for him, that his narrative, the narrative he sets, the narrative the court eunuchs in the media cheerily recycle and repeddle without question,
whether that can trump the reality of your lives, which is the degeneration of a great nation into a kind of crony capitalism whereby a few buddies at the top, if you happen to know the right people, they'll give you the deal.
They'll give you the contract to build the Obamacare website.
Doesn't matter whether you can do it or not.
If you know who to call in Washington, you'll get the gig.
And he's bet, he's bet that that fake narrative can actually trump reality and will trump reality this November.
And that remains an open question.
And it is for you to make sure that the fake Obama narrative does not trump reality this November.
Mark Stein Faroch will take more of your calls straight ahead.
Mark Stein Farosh.
Speaking of Benghazi, by the way, Cheryl Atkisson has just resigned from CBS News.
She was like the only mainstream media bulldog on the Benghazi story.
She basically went at it, went at it, went at it.
And eventually it was too much for the liberal environment at CBS News.
And she began getting sidelined there because they felt that she was taking too much of an interest in this story.
She tweeted a couple of hours ago that she has now resigned from CBS News.
That, too, makes the point we've been talking about earlier, that if you go up against Obama, bad things happen to you.
It doesn't matter whether you just, like Patricia in Indiana, you just donate to the wrong political candidate and get pre-audited for taxes you haven't yet filed yet.
It doesn't matter whether you belong to a particular non-profit group and you get held up for three years of paperwork.
It doesn't mean you can be like Dinesh D'Souza.
You can make a movie about Obama that is too an anti-Obama movie that's too big a hit.
And for a $15,000 campaign violation, $15,000 campaign violation, you will be arrested.
You will be handcuffed.
You will be subjected to half a million dollars in bail.
You will have your passport taken away.
So this guy, Dinesh D'Souza, lives in New York, but he can't give a speech in Toronto.
And he can't give a speech in Boston without getting permission of the judge to travel out of New York City.
That's Obama's Department of Justice.
The guy made an Andy Obama documentary.
They get him on a $15,000 technicality.
They're going to throw him in jail or plead him down to something if he admits he's guilty.
And in the meantime, he's handcuffed.
He has half a million dollars in jail, passport confiscated, and can't travel from New York City to give a speech in Hartford, Connecticut without getting the permission of the judge.
That's Obama's America.
It doesn't smell, doesn't smell terribly good.
Doesn't smell like a civilized society.
Doesn't smell like a free nation anymore.
That whiff, that whiff you get in your nostrils, that is the whiff of despotism.
Initially, just a person here, a person there, and somebody over there.
And maybe if you're lucky, they won't notice you.
But maybe something is afoot, and maybe the likelihood is that, in fact, they will notice you.
John in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
John, you're on the Russian Busho.
Great to have you with us.
Hello, Mr. Stein.
It is an honor and pleasure to be speaking with you.
Thank you so much for taking my call.
What you just said about the whiff of despotism, yes, it does think.
We're all being upskirted, and it ain't fun.
And the problem, I believe, is there's still, believe it or not, there's still a lack of public awareness.
Not enough people know what's really going on or care.
It's like we're living at a Saturday night live skit.
You mentioned earlier about the latest stop of Bamster's continuing vacation tour to Key Largo.
I think the cheesy 80s soft rock song that you were referring to is named Kokomo.
No, no, no.
No, Kokomo is a good cheesy 80s schlocko soft rock song.
There's one called Key Largo.
It's by a one-hit wonder called Bertie Higgins, John.
Oh, I apologize because there was a reference to Key Largo in that song, which I, by the way, I kind of like the song Kokomo.
But he had his theme song with the and perhaps we need another Saturday Night Live or a theme song to expand the awareness.
But one point I really wanted to touch on here is I read in a pamphlet once, and I'd like you to correct me if I'm wrong, that the IRS and the tax code as we currently have it came to its inception on December 23rd, 1913.
Was that the 16th Amendment?
Yeah, that's right.
That's the 16th Amendment.
And in the pamphlet that I read, that was only ratified by two states.
And yet it was made law, and it's pretty much of an unconstitutional law that we're all subject to.
And now they're going and they want to use the IRS to enforce this health care thing.
It's like our freedoms are being eroded right before our eyes.
The best country God ever gave man is being fundamentally transformed intentionally.
And without more public awareness, what do we do about it?
Well, that's an excellent point, John.
The permanent bureaucracy is a threat, even if it's not particularly partisan.
Because obviously it operates in its own interests, and its interest is big government.
So if you have a permanent bureaucracy of the size that most Western nations do, it's very hard to have genuinely small government.
That's the first stage.
Then when you have what's going on here, where the permanent bureaucracy is basically used as a tool explicitly to punish the president's enemies, you have moved to the next stage.
And people ought to be mad about this.
This shouldn't be a partisan thing.
And those lefties who think that it doesn't matter as long as we're the guys in power, as long as we're the ones wielding the power, they are doing a huge disservice to the integrity of this nation.
And history will not be kind to them for what they've permitted to happen on this president's watch.
Mark, it's time for Rush.
We'll close things out in a moment.
Hey, time to go.
The IRS are knocking it that are already ready for my forensic upskirting, so I've got to get onto that.
And then afterwards, I'll be heading over to Pyongyang for Kim Jong-un's electoral victory party.
I gather Beyoncé is going to be lip-syncing to Hail to the Supreme Leader, so you won't want to miss that.
It'd be great.
Congratulations to Kim on his splendid, magnificent, almost Obama in Philadelphia level of 100% electoral success.