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March 11, 2013 - Rush Limbaugh Program
42:43
March 11, 2013, Monday, Hour #1
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Welcome to today's edition of the Rush 247 Podcast.
Yes, America's Anchorman is away, and this is your undocumented anchor man sitting in.
Mark Stein, living in the shadows and loving it.
My pathway to citizenship got sequestered.
Rush returns tomorrow, live for three hours of full strength, all American excellence in broadcasting.
But today it's just cheap, outsourced, offshore foreign labor all the way.
I'm a foreign exchange student at the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies.
It's a terrific program.
Guys like me get to study here, and uh in return, Joe Biden gets to fly to Caracas and be displayed in the glass case next to Hugo Charvis.
So it all works out.
We're coming to you today from uh Ice Station EIB in Northern New Hampshire, just a stone's throw from the Canadian border.
Uh if you're fleeing the country, do uh do drop by.
We're always glad to see you.
You can't miss us.
There's a there's a big sign on the interstate.
Last rush guest host before the border.
Uh from New Hampshire, it goes down to uh HR and Friday at EIB in New York and then over to California, up to the satellite and out to the world.
And uh don't forget this is the first Rush Limbaugh Show of the Year on Daylight Savings Time.
Uh yesterday, as you know, the uh the clocks went forward an hour.
Uh we would have gone forward two hours, but Obama sequestered one of them.
It's uh officially day ten of the sequester, day ten.
Uh so if you've still got telephone service in your state, do call and let us know how it's going.
one eight hundred two eight two two eight eight two.
Uh cholera outbreaks have been reported now in seventeen states, I believe.
The Washington Post has a fantastic story, a magnificent story uh about how uh these sequester cuts are destroying the fabric of American life as we know it.
It's called Yellowstone Gets Real about budget cuts.
And uh longtime Rush listeners will know that uh Jellystone Park, as he always calls it, uh was the symbol of the government shutdown back in nineteen ninety-five.
It's like it's like uh late Bob Hope routines when he used to recycle his Warren Harding gags about Jimmy Carter.
Basically all the stuff all the nineteen ninety-five uh Yellowstone Park stuff has now come back.
Uh it for as the symbol of the savagery of the sequester.
Mammoth Hot Springs, Wyoming, the giant yellow snow ploughs that wake Yellowstone from its winter slumber every March are idled, waiting for the sun to make up for federal budget cuts that are forcing the park to open late for peak season, reports Lisa Ryan.
Mandatory cuts kicked in three days before the ploughs were to start clearing snow and ice from three hundred roads, faced with an order from Washington to slice one point eight million dollars from his budget.
The park superintendent Dan Wenck had considered his options.
He could halt the bison management program.
But the program is required under a court settlement.
So that's great news.
The bison management, as bad as things have got uh under the sequester.
The planes are dropping from the supply, the uh s from the sky.
The water supply is unsafe.
But the bison management program continues.
These are by the way, these are federally credentialed bison managers.
You can't just uh you can't just get any old guy, you can't just get some minimum wage in.
You can't just get some undocumented workers in.
These are federally credentialed bison managers.
Uh and and he can't he wanted to cut them, this guy, but he isn't allowed to cut them, apparently, because the bison management program is now required under a court settlement.
So basically that's not part of discretionary spending anymore.
That counts as non-discretionary.
It's with the in it's with the entitlement programs.
You can't cut that.
It's like uh the things you can't cut now.
You can't cut social security, you can't cut Medicare, you can't cut Medicaid, and you can't get cut bison management program.
That's non-discretionary spending.
So you'll be relieved to hear that out in Wyoming, bison management uh continues.
Uh so they're not just roaming, they haven't bust out of the park and they're roaming all over the interstate and they're heading down to downtown Mammoth Hot Springs and causing havoc.
The bison are still being managed.
It's safe if you're listening in Wyoming, it's safe to leave your home.
The bison are still being managed.
The bison management program is mandatory spending now.
It's uh it's uh it's up there with social security.
Uh by the way, why couldn't they just put plows on the front of the bison then and get them to clear the snow?
I don't know.
Nobody's thinking outside the box here.
So anyway, he couldn't cut that.
So he decided he was going to cut if he if he uh he decided then he could freeze all permanent hires, that would save a million, delay the snow ploughs two and fifty grand, and open most entrances to the park two weeks late.
Uh letting and that would mean that the sun would melt and soften the snow, saving thirty thousand dollars a day.
Govern American government now is now hanging on the good graces of the sun gods in the sky.
That's all that's depending uh all that's between us and total chaos.
The sun gods in the sky.
Uh and uh and so that's uh that's that's the good news.
The bison management program.
The the the the parks are delaying their opening, but the bison management program has been uh saved.
Tour guide Rusty Cole is not happy about it.
And he sent uh this guy Wenk a message and said uh he's mad as hell and not buying your argument.
Uh he the uh the the they spend millions of dollars to operate Air Force One and they can't come up with some money to blow open the roads in Yellowstone.
Now you're thinking blow open them.
What about those drones?
Wyoming's near Canada, Janet Napolitano has unmanned drones on the Canadian border.
Why can't predator drones clear the snow?
If they can if if predator drones can take out Anwar al Orlaki's sixteen-year-old son when he's on the terrace uh of a Yemeni restaurant without killing any of the people who are i at the back of the room at the crummy non-desirable tables near the toilet.
If unmanned drones, if predator drones can do that, why can't predator drones just blast free the snow uh from Yellowstone Park's roads?
Uh so so the actually come to that.
Why can't the unmanned drones unmanned drones can do everything?
Why can't the unmanned drones do the bison management program?
Why can't we just manage the bison from unmanned drones too?
Uh anyway, things are things are uh things are are turning from bad to worse in Yellowstone Park.
Uh they're having to leave it to the sun to melt the snow.
Even with Al Gore's global warming.
Uh there is uh there is no way now that people can can uh people have to wait for the sun, the rays of the sun uh to melt the snow at Yellowstone Park.
As sequestration hit, the park was prepared sequestration, by the way, it's now like sequestration hit.
It's like superstorm sandy.
A sequestration hit Yellowstone, the park was preparing for high season, closing the hotels and restaurants that serve its fewer than one hundred thousand winter tourists.
Yellowstone in winter is a landscape of white, broken only by pine trees and half frozen rivers.
This is where she's doing her little bit.
Little prose is getting a little purpley.
The Washington Post going for its po pull it's a nomination here.
Clouds of steam from the park's many geezers.
I think that's a John McCain reference.
Clouds of steam from the park's many geezers billow into the cold wild herds of bison forage.
The federally managed bison are foraging in Yellowstone Park.
We just saw a fox for the second time today, Marvel Tina Don from Cedar Hearst, New York warming up inside a concession trailer.
The same fox.
That's how bad it is.
That's how bad it is, folks.
In Yellowstone Park, they've down to one fox.
They've had to lay off all the other foxes.
This one poor fox is having to go around, stand in front of the tourists and be photographed multiple times, the same fox.
One fox, one elk, one bald eagle.
That's all you get for your for your ticket to Yellowstone.
So things are going bad to worse on the old uh on the old sequestration front.
Uh Texas Congressman Louis Gomot, a good friend of this show, has now filed an amendment that would prohibit federal funds from being spent on the president's golf trips uh until the public tours of the White House uh get uh are reinstated.
The the cost of the Obama Tiger Woods golf outing, for example, would pay for an entire year of public tours of the White House.
Uh it would pay, by the way, for all the snow ploughing at Yellowstone Park.
It would probably pay for a year of bison management.
I mean, I don't know how much it costs managing a herd of bison uh compared to managing uh Barack Obama flying off to play golf with Tiger Woods.
But uh the bison and Tiger Woods Obama can play golf with the bison at Yellowstone Park if he wants to.
There's money for that.
But there is no money for snow plowing uh at uh at Yellowstone Park.
That is how bad.
If you've got tragic stories from the sequestration nation, from a nation that has been hit, uh, as the Washington Post put it, hit by superstorm sequester, hit by hurricane sequestration, uh then do call us and let us know.
1800-28282.
Uh we'll be following all the sequestration updates today.
Sequester was the big word of the week.
I like the way these words come and go, and then you never have to worry about them again.
No one had heard about this thing, uh, sequester uh a few uh couple of months ago.
It was a word you never never heard, never heard.
Uh and then it was the big word of the week two weeks ago, and last week then the word of the week was filibuster.
Filibuster and drone were really tied for the words of the week last week.
And um my money for the word of the week this week on this Monday morning is my money is on conclave.
Uh yesterday was last week was a kind of filibustery week.
This this is uh gonna be a conclavey kind of week.
It's the the big Pope vote uh starts tomorrow.
Uh all the cardinals will be heading into the smoke filled room and uh and be sequestered as it happens.
Uh I don't know whether you can be filibusted in in Conclave, but you can certainly be sequestered in one.
So if you've got some real papal insight, do call.
I mean uh and I do emphasize real papal insight because I'm tired by the the rubbish you see in the papers here, you know, New York Times and so forth commenting on the papal election, and that you know, they're basically say, well, if the Squaresville white males don't appoint the first lesbian pontiff, they'll just be uh making themselves irrelevant.
Uh no one who watches Lena Dunham on girls will be able to relate to the Catholic Church at all.
I don't know whether we'll get the first lesbian pope or the first transgendered pope.
Uh I think the alleged Pope Joan in the thirteenth century was only a cross-dressing pope, so that doesn't count.
But we looks like we have a real chance of getting the first Canadian Pope.
So it's like payback for the Keystone Pipeline.
Obama wouldn't let the Canadians build a pipeline in America.
So the Canadians have built a pipeline to the Vatican.
It's like the keys of St. Peter pipeline.
Uh anyway, this guy will look into this Canadian Pope, the first Canadian Pope.
This is really rubbing Americans' noses in it, by the way.
You know, you yeah, if the first Pope from North America is a Canadian, that will be a humiliating defeat uh for the United States.
Obama's got a Nobel Peace Prize, why can't he be Pope as well?
I mean, I'm sure uh why can't he do both?
If he can be if he can be the president, if he can be the Nobel Peace Prize winner, why can't he also be the pontiff?
It's embarrassing for Americans.
You can't even get uh your guy as Pope before the Canadians get a Pope.
So we'll talk about that and lots more straight ahead on the Excellence in Broadcasting Network.
1-800-282-2882, Mark Stein Inforush.
Hey, Mark Stein in for Rush on the Excellence in Broadcasting Network.
Breaking news.
Breaking news, Kwame Kilpatrick, former Detroit mayor, uh has been found guilty of uh racketeering, conspiracy, and a bunch of other stuff.
Um uh her uh his fundraiser, Emma Bell, uh, testified that she gave Mayor Kilpatrick more than two hundred thousand dollars as his personal cut of political donations, pulling cash from her bra during private meetings.
I'm impressed by it.
I'm impressed by it.
Was that in small bills?
I'm impressed by any woman who can get two hundred thousand dollars in cash inside her bra.
That is uh that is some that's like uh that that that's that's like uh Yellowstone Park size canyon there.
That's like Grand Canyon sized cleavage in there.
Two hundred thousand two hundred thousand dollars.
So he's looking at Kwame Kilpatrick, uh been uh guilt found guilty of racketeering conspiracy looking at whatever it is, a hundred and seventeen years in jail, but due to sequestration, uh they can't send him to jail, so they're just gonna put an electronic tag on him and loose him among the Yellowstone bison herd to be uh managed by bison management uh program officials for the next uh hundred and seventeen years.
But Kwame Kilpatrick, you're probably shocked.
You're probably shocked by this.
A Detroit mayor guilty of corruption.
I mean, that that is uh astonishing.
Does uh does a bear defecate in the woods next to the managed bison management program?
Is the Pope Canadian?
Yes, a Detroit mayor is guilty of corruption.
Uh that's uh that's what it's come to uh come to, folks.
Uh we he's uh he he took cash.
It's a personal slice.
He ha his fundraiser was giving him pulling large bills from inside her bra.
200,000.
I'd be I'd be interested to know whether she could get through security at Detroit uh International Airport with all that money in her bra.
Uh one eight hundred two eight two two eight eight two, Bark Stein on the Rush Limbosh.
It could have gone worse for him, by the way.
Kwame Kilpatrick, uh because uh he could have been on trial in Saudi Arabia.
Um government cuts are going even worse in Saudi Arabia.
The influential newspaper Al Watan reports that the Saudis may have to cut back on public beheadings due to a shortage of government executioners.
I mean, that's when sequestration really begins to bite.
Uh when you've got to start cutting back on cutting heads.
Um if you've ever been to Saudi, you'll know that basically public executions are the only entertainment in town.
Uh if you if you're standing in the Hyatt and you look at the complimentary guide to what's on in Riyadh and you and you're thinking, hey, maybe Wayne Newton's in town or Don Rickles.
No, there's nothing to do except go to Chop Chop Square and uh and uh see who's uh having his uh having his head uh cut off.
Uh they uh they beheaded a Sri Lankan housemaid last week.
Uh but now Al Watan reports that because there's a shortage of fully credentialed decapitators, they may have to switch to just shooting people.
Quote, this solution seems practical, especially in light of shortages in official swordsmen or their belated arrival to execution yards in some incidents, said the Ministerial Committee.
So if you'd like to be a Sword Saudi swordsman, they're they're looking.
They've asked some corporate headhunters uh to find them some corporate head choppers.
It's it's uh it's a great way to get ahead.
Uh and it's tax free in Saudi, by the way.
Uh there's no taxes and no income tax at all in Saudi Arabia.
Everybody is in the richest one per cent.
So it's everything is completely tax free in Saudi Arabia, so you don't have to worry about the uh the government taking a huge cut.
But um so if you if you think if you fancy midlife career change and uh you you're tired of the uh dead American economy and whatever, this might be a job to consider, going to Saudi Arabia and being uh uh an executioner.
But but you need to know what you're doing.
You can't just grab your Saudi sword and say, hey, I thought I'd take a stab at it.
You've got you've actually got a got to know what you're doing.
It's like the bison management program in Yellowstone National Park.
Uh so we're gonna be talking about uh the the the the sequester as it begins to bite.
But there's lots of other news uh around America this fine day.
Uh Baltimore.
Uh zero tolerance for zero tolerance.
Uh a state senator J.B. Jennings has proposed a law uh that would prevent young children being suspended from school for forming their finger or food in a shape of the gun.
Right?
This is Maryland where these crazy stories come up every week now.
Um Anne Arundel County school leaders suspended seven-year-old Joshua Welsh last week for eating a pastry in the shape of a gun.
It was a Poptart.
And this Pop Tart, in the course of being squeezed into the toaster, whatever you do with a pop tart, uh had uh come out in a vaguely gun like shape.
And seven-year-old Joshua Welch was suspended for eating a Pop Tart shaped like a gun.
Uh when you compare the caliber of the offense to the caliber of the punishment, they don't match up, the boy's father said.
He must be some kind of gun nut.
What are you talking about?
When you're talking about the caliber, that's a gun term, isn't it?
Is he talking about the calibre of his son's Pop Tart?
That's that's that uh gun coop militaristic talk right there.
Uh look, here's here's the problem.
Here's the problem.
Uh if you need to pass a law uh making it illegal for teachers to suspend school children, grade schoolers, first graders, second graders, for eating a pastry shaped like a gun, it's over.
You're nuts, you've flown the coop.
You can't pass laws to stop this stuff.
Either a society knows uh that a uh uh a kid eating a pop tart uh that happens to come out shaped like uh a semi automatic is uh is a quirk of the baking process, is an accident, is not a crime.
Either either uh a healthy society knows that that is not a security threat, a pop tart shaped like a gun is not a security threat, or it doesn't.
But you cannot pass once you start having to pass laws saying the teacher can't fire uh poor little what was he called, Joshua because his pop tart's shaped like a gun.
Once you have to pass laws for that, it is over.
It's over big time.
Mark Stein Inforush 1800 28282.
Hey, Mark Stein, in for Rush on the Excellence in Broadcasting Network.
Breaking news, breaking news, Kwame Kilpatrick, former Detroit mayor, uh has been found guilty of r uh racketeering, conspiracy, and a bunch of other stuff.
Um her uh his fundraiser, Emma Bell, uh testified that she gave Mayor Kilpatrick more than two hundred thousand dollars as his personal cut of political donations, pulling cash from her bra during private meetings.
I'm impressed by it.
I'm impressed by it.
Was that in small bills?
I'm impressed by any woman who can get two hundred thousand dollars in cash inside her bra.
That is uh that is some that's like uh that that that's that's like uh Yellowstone Park size canyon there.
That's like Grand Canyon sized cleavage in there.
Two hundred thous two hundred thousand dollars.
So he's looking at Kwame Kilpatrick, uh been uh guilt found guilty of racketeering conspiracy looking at whatever it is, a hundred and seventeen years in jail, but due to sequestration, uh they can't send him to jail, so they're just gonna put an electronic tag on him and loose him among the Yellowstone bison herd to be uh managed by bison management uh program officials for the next uh hundred and seventeen years.
But Kwame Kilpatrick, you're probably shocked.
You're probably shocked by this.
A Detroit mayor guilty of corruption.
I mean that that is uh astonishing.
Does uh does a bear defecate in the woods next to the managed bison management program?
Is the Pope Canadian?
Yes, a Detroit mayor is guilty of corruption.
Uh that's uh that's what it's come to uh come to, folks.
Uh we he's uh he he took cash his personal slice.
He ha his fundraiser was giving him pulling large bills from inside her bra.
200,000.
I'd be I'd be interested to know whether she could get through security at Detroit uh International Airport with all that money in her bra.
Uh one eight hundred two eight two two eight eight two, Bark Stein on the Rush Limbush.
I could have gone worse for him, by the way.
Kwame Kilpatrick, uh because uh he could have been on trial in Saudi Arabia.
Um government cuts are going even worse in Saudi Arabia.
The influential newspaper Al Watan reports that the Saudis may have to cut back on public beheadings due to a shortage of government executioners.
I mean, that's when sequestration really begins to bite.
Uh when you've got to start cutting back on cutting heads.
Um if you've ever been to Saudi, you'll know that basically public executions are the only entertainment in town.
Uh if you if you stand in the Hyatt and you look at the complimentary guide to what's on in Riyadh and you and you're thinking, hey, maybe Wayne Newton's in town or Don Rickles.
No, there's nothing to do except go to Chop Chop Square and uh and uh see who's uh having his uh having his head uh cut off.
Uh they uh they beheaded a Sri Lankan housemaid last week.
Uh but now Al Watan reports that because there's a shortage of fully credentialed decapitators, they may have to switch to just shooting people.
Quote, this solution seems practical, especially in light of shortages in official swordsmen or their belated arrival to execution yards in some incidents, said the Ministerial Committee.
So if you'd like to be a sword Saudi swordsman, they're they're looking.
They've asked some corporate headhunters uh to find them some corporate head choppers.
It's it's uh it's a great way to get ahead.
Uh and it's tax free in Saudi, by the way.
Uh there's no taxes and no income tax at all in Saudi Arabia.
Everybody is in the richest one per cent.
So it's everything is completely tax free in Saudi Arabia, so you don't have to worry about the uh the government taking a huge cut.
But um so if you if you think you fancy a midlife career change and uh you you're tired of the uh dead American economy and whatever this might be a job to consider going to Saudi Arabia and being uh uh an executioner.
But but you need to know what you're doing.
You can't just grab your Saudi sword and say, hey I thought I'd take a stab at it.
You've got you've actually got a got to know what you're doing.
It's like the bison management program in Yellowstone National Park.
So we're going to be talking about uh the the the the the the sequester as it begins to bite.
But there's lots of other news uh around America this fine day.
Uh Baltimore uh zero tolerance for zero tolerance.
Uh a state senator J.B. Jennings has proposed a law uh that would prevent young children being suspended from school for forming their finger or food in a shape of the gun.
Right?
This is Maryland where these crazy stories come up every week now.
Um Anne Arundel County school leaders suspended seven year old Joshua Welsh last week for eating a pastry in the shape of a gun.
It was a Pop Tart.
And this Pop Tart in the course of being squeezed into the toaster whatever you do with a Pop Tart uh had uh come out in a vaguely gun like shape.
And seven year old Joshua Welch was suspended for eating a Pop Tart shaped like a gun.
When you compare the caliber of the offense to the caliber of the punishment, they don't match up the boy's father said.
He must be some kind of gun nut what are you talking about?
When you're talking about the caliber, that's a gun term, isn't it?
Is he talking about the calibre of his son's Pop Tart?
That's that's that gun coop militaristic talk right there.
Look, here's here's the problem.
Here's the problem.
If you need to pass a law uh making it illegal for teachers to suspend school children, grade schoolers, first graders, second graders, for eating a pastry shaped like a gun, it's over.
You're nuts, you've flown the coop.
You can't pass laws to stop this stuff.
Either a society knows that a kid eating a Pop-Tart that happens to come out shaped like a semi-automatic is a quirk of the baking process, is an accident, is not a crime.
Either a healthy society knows that that is not a security threat, a Pop-Tart shaped like a gun is not a security threat, or it doesn't.
But you cannot pass, once you start having to pass laws saying the teacher can't fire Pop-Tart.
little what was he called Joshua because his Poptart's shaped like a gun.
Once you have to pass laws for that it is over.
It's over big time.
Mark Stein Inforush 1 eight hundred two eight two two eight eight two morrow to take you through the rest of the week with full strength authentically American excellence in broadcasting.
Don't forget if you go to uh Rushlimbore.com and you're a rush 247 subscriber it's like he's never gone away.
You need not be discombobulated by sinister foreign guest hosts because you can have Rush round the clock when you want him on your schedule.
Rush Limbaugh dot com.
We're following the sequester we're we're watching we're watching for puffs of smoke from Rome.
The Papal Conclave is due to start tomorrow.
Pope Benedict by the way who's like the first ex-Pope in half a uh millennium now he he I guess if you're talking about uh sinister foreign guest hosts I guess he's eligible for to be a rush guest host now so maybe uh maybe we'll put him in the rotation and uh and he'll be here for uh the day after Easter.
Uh one eight hundred two eight two two eight eight two breaking news I uh said that um former uh Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick had been found guilty of uh of uh racketeering and conspiracy and a bunch of other stuff uh the current mayor Dave Bing says the verdict will allow the city to move on from quote this negative chapter in Detroit's history.
Um with the I like don't get me wrong, every time I say anything about Detroit, I I always I always uh get a heap of trouble over it.
I like Detroit, but with the best will in the world, you couldn't really say it had had a negative chapter in its history.
It's had the full negative twenty-six volumes of Gibbons decline and fall of the Roman Empire in its history.
That's that's Detroit.
It's not uh it's not just a negative chapter or a uh a negative end note or a negative preface.
It's it's the full negative multi-volume part work.
The it's like the uh Encyclopedia Britannica of negative chapters.
Uh so uh we'll we'll keep an eye on that's uh that story I I need a c I need to clarify something by the way I I uh I erroneously portrayed uh seven year old Joshua Walsh Welsh and Arundel County schoolboy as an innocent party when uh I said that uh this this pop tart he'd eaten uh was in the shape of a gun.
He apparently nibbled it into the shape of a gun.
Uh several people have called in uh to point out that Joshua Joshua Welch is not an innocent seven year old schoolboy.
He nibbled his Poptart into a gun like shape.
We did we should throw the book at him.
We should we should we should put him away we should put him away uh for uh for for as long as they're putting Kwame Kilpatrick away.
Because this is far more serious than a little bit of racketeering and conspiracy.
This is a guy nibbling a Pop Tart into a gun.
Uh Dad uh I like the I like the eBay I just got uh apparently the dad is going to eat a Pop Tart in the shape of a middle finger toast it and send it to the school board.
You go for it.
You go for it.
Look this is this is this is crazy stuff.
Kids uh forming a finger into the shape making a gun with their finger they're send home.
Uh kids having gun shaped pastries.
Crazy.
When a guy has to introduce uh a law in the state legislature to prevent the seven year old being suspended for that's actually even crazier.
When you when you think you can correct this with laws.
When your society uh is so insane uh that you that the you your only way around this is to uh is to pass a law.
You can't pass laws for everything.
That's one of the problems with this uh country is there's laws against everything now.
Uh and just complying with the laws sucks up all the time and money.
That's why fifty percent of all the world's lawyers are in America.
So now we're gonna have Pop Tart, Pop Tart litigation, gun shape pop tart litigation law specialists.
That's not going to do anything.
Uh let us go to uh Jack in Stillwater, Minnesota Jack is live on the Rush Limbaugh show.
Great to have you with us Jack.
Well hey Mark uh it's wonderful to be on uh I I like I enjoy listening to you when you sit in for Rush.
I I listen to Rush every day.
Hey good for you and I I get a I get a rash of uh uh crap from my uh cohorts in my office they all think I'm the right wing uh nut job over here but little do they know that I'm the one that's holding the place together.
Yeah well well the the good news is that a rash of crap for being a right wing nut job is now covered by Obamacare Jack so you'll be able to be treated you'll be able to be treated for that and live a normal life.
Oh well I guess I'm not handicapped then you know you're talking about uh uh Yellowstone and I had been out there many many many years snowmobiling and they don't plow Yellowstone until sometime in late April.
They leave the road for all the snowmobilers to use.
And when they do plow it, the only plow from uh what they call the little town called West Yellowstone over to uh Old Faithful.
Right.
So it's not a fifteen mile stretch.
So for them to be complaining about not being able to uh plow this road it's another Obama hoax.
So you're saying that in fact there's only one fifteen mile stretch they plow even when they do plow it.
It's about fifteen miles, yeah.
And then the rest of it just uh you know they wait till there's virtually nothing left and then they just kind of clean it up after that.
Okay, so uh so that fifty I I I'm I'm uh I'm here in northern New Hampshire, and it's and it's not the elevation of Yellowstone, but you'd be hard pressed here to find a uh to to find a town that uh costs spent two hundred and fifty thousand dollars plowing fifteen miles of road.
But granted, it is a lot of snow.
I mean in the peak of the season, there's gotta be I don't know, eight ten feet I mean, there's a lot of snow there, but uh th that's why they don't do it.
And of course it's it's used the trails are used in the park for all the snowmobilers.
Yeah, well that's the uh th that's that's uh that's an interesting that's an interesting observation.
So you're saying it's basically just a fifteen mile uh a fifty mile track, and they actually leave it there as late as they can so that you snowmobilists can enjoy it.
Right.
So when you go into Yellowstone, the the road is a big circle.
Right.
And the only real building that's down there is uh old faithful and the uh uh the exhibit and and to go down and see that.
That's all that's down there.
Now have you seen do you know is that the same uh stretch that the uh the bison herd are all around, too?
You know, the the the bison herd travel basically anywhere they want, but they're up and down that road.
We've had uh several encounters with them on the snowmobile and the bison usually win.
So a properly managed bison herd would at least be able to tamp down and pack the snow.
So it's like uh it's like yeah.
They pack it down and uh they have their little trails and they're they they pretty much manage themselves.
They they they're good Republicans.
I I think uh a bison herd can manage themselves like No, no, no, no, Jack.
Those bikes it's like the life of Julia.
It's that they would be ho they would be lost without Obama.
The life of Bernie the bison.
That's what Obama the uh the Obama propaganda should be making now to show that that that bison's life would be hell if it weren't for everything the federal government's doing too.
Well i we are taking care of him.
We did give them uh over a million acre park there to live in.
That's right.
Which is a better deal than Julia got, by the way.
So he's got you.
Thanks for you, Cold Jack.
Oh gosh, that that's that's uh well it's great.
It's appropriate the bison should be given like a million acre retirement home to live in, 'cause uh we as we d established in the first part of the program, uh the um uh the the the the bison management program now comes under non-discretionary spending.
A court has ordered that you're not allowed to cut that.
It's like so it's part it's up there with the entitlement.
Social security, Medicare, Medicaid, and bison management.
Um by the way, I'm still getting more pushback on people who are in uh who are outraged at the recklessness of letting uh the bitter clingers down in Maryland cling to their gun-shaped Pop Tarts.
Um uh there should be a limit.
Uh one listener says uh there should be a limit on the number of Pop Tarts a person can carry.
No one ever needs to have thirty Pop Tarts on one uh on them at w uh one time.
That's true.
If you've got if you're coming into school with one of those high capacity lunch boxes uh that can that can hold thirty pop tarts, I think that's all the more reason why that school should go into lockdown.
Absolute lockdown.
You can't we should have zero tolerance, uh zero tolerance for this kind of thing.
By the way uh Gabby Gifford's husband, uh you may recall, Mark Kelly, uh, a couple of days ago, it the day after he's a big gun control uh proponent now, and I think it was the day after he testified in Congress uh last week, uh March the sixth, he went out and bought an AR fifteen.
This is a guy who's in favor of gun control.
This guy's in favor who who whose official position is that you shouldn't be able to buy an AR fifteen.
Uh but then uh the day after uh speaking out in favor of gun control, he went and bought an uh an AR fifteen.
Uh and that's what's that's that's uh that's fine.
That's that's good for him.
Uh I'm I'm happy for Mark Kelly to buy an AR fifteen.
If he bought a Poptart shaped like an AR fifteen, though, then he he should then he deserves to be thrown in the slammer and they should toss away the key.
Uh we we gotta take this stuff seriously.
Uh and I'm I've I deeply regret that I did uh did not explain in the first segment of the show in the first half hour of the show that this kid, this seven year old boy in Maryland is not an innocent party.
He nibbled.
He nibbled the Pop Tart into the shape of a gun.
And if you let him get away with that, you know, uh I believe he nobled the pop tart uh he nibbled the Pop Tart into the shape of a handgun, because I think it would be hard to nibble it into the shape of a semi automatic.
But if he were to take a large size pizza, he could easily nibble that into the shape of an AK forty seven.
So we need to crank down on this stuff, and that's why this legislator is now this will be the first country on the planet in history, in human history, that will have to pass a law saying that a teacher cannot suspend a schoolboy for nibbling a pop tart into the shape of a gun.
Mark Stein and Farush, lots more straight ahead.
Mark Steided for us on the EIB network.
Every time I try to say anything about the I thought this was just like a simple story, this toaster pastry gun uh control act that's uh being introduced in the Maryland legislature.
But every time I say anything about it, I have to back up and issue a clarification.
Initially I said that this seven-year-old schoolboy, uh the the pastry had emerged in a gun like shape, and then it uh and then I had to uh we had uh grieved callers saying, No, no, no, he nibbled it into a gun like shape.
Now I have, according to uh KNTV of Baltimore, Maryland, uh uh uh Josh Welch said his teacher got it completely wrong.
It was already a rectangle.
And it kind of looked like a gun, but it wasn't.
Welch this is I like the way they just call it my surname now, and I'd said like ah cute little seven year old Joshy.
Cute little uh cute little No Welch Welch, he's a hard man, he's in there, he's in jail with Kwame Kilpatrick.
Welch said he was trying to shape the Pop Tart into a mountain.
Look at that, the kid's trying to make uh turn his Pop Tart into Yellowstone National Park with probably little those little flaky bits of your Pop Tart that come loose like uh they're like they're the little bison managed the federally managed bison herd atop it.
He's trying to make his pop tart into a mountain, but the teacher uh insists that in fact it's a gun.
Uh and uh the school sent out a letter late in the day to parents explaining what happened and why they thought it was a threat, saying that a student used food to make an inappropriate gesture.
Uh uh if your children express that they are troubled by today's incidents, please talk with them and help them share their feelings.
Our school counsellor is available to meet with any students of have the need to do so next week.
You're doomed, America.
You're done for.
No society can survive this level of stupidity.
The school counsellor is available to meet with any students who are traumatized by hearing reports of some guy four grades below them uh who nibbles a pop tart into a gun like shape.
You know, when they tr I've never subscribed to this whole greatest generation thing, you know, but you look at those guys.
They weren't much older than the kids from this school.
A lot of them were like seventeen, eighteen years old, and they're storming out of these uh transport ships uh in the churning uh in the churning waters of the English Channel and the North Sea and they're landing on the beaches of Normandy and they're getting out of there and this and they're stamp stomping up the beaches and taking German gunfire and all the rest.
Do you think do you think if you raise people so that uh you make a a uh school counsellor available to them in case they've been traumatized by someone who has nibbled a pop tart into the shape of a gun.
Do you think they're gonna be getting out of those if if they're ever called upon to to to get out of those uh uh of those ships and storm the beaches of Normandy, do you think they're gonna be up to doing that?
Do you think they're gonna think oh no, look, the Germans, they're all holding Pop Tarts!
Ah it's never gonna this is this this uh no society can survive this level of stup of stupidity.
These small things are not small.
They tell you a lot about the uh institutionalized stupidity uh of our institu.
I mean, apart from apart from anything else, this g this kid, it's on his permanent record.
He'll be running for governor of Maryland in forty years' time, and the b and then someone on the in the Oppo Research, they'll look at the thing and they'll come up with this whole pop tart gun thing, and that'll be it.
It'll be over for him.
He'll be wondering why he'll be going for job interviews, and he'll be thinking he did pretty well, and he'll be wondering why didn't nothing work out?
Why didn't why didn't it all happen for me?
And it'll turn out because someone looked up the record and they discovered that when he was seven years old, he nibbled a Pop Tart into a gun like shape.
This is the way it's going now.
This is all there is.
This is all that's left.
And uh and and if we don't if we don't roll this back now, if we there will be nothing.
There will be nothing, you know.
That's what they the the Iranians won't need nukes.
The North Koreans won't need nukes.
Because we will actually just we w we will actually suspend ourselves into oblivion.
This will be a first.
Gibbon didn't foresee this in the decline and fall of the Roman Empire.
There's nothing about Pop-Tarts there.
They didn't hand they weren't so advanced.
The Romans were an advanced society, but they weren't so advanced that they invented the Pop-Tart.
And they weren't so exquisitely advanced that they then invented school suspensions over the shapes in which you eat Pop Tarts into.
So this is this is not a small thing.
The uh the the uh North Koreans, they don't need the nukes.
The uh Mullers don't need the nukes.
The Chinese will never need to invade us.
They will just need to fill Walmart and Price Chopper with more and more Pop Tarts, and the whole country will gradually seize up.
You cannot fix this.
This this senator who is uh who has who has proposed the law in the Maryland State Legislature, and for all I know this is controversial, may not even pass.
May not it may even may not even get through the Maryland State Legislature.
But you can't legislate for this level of of stupidity.
Uh and the idea that kids are traumatized if a kid is genuinely traumatized, if a fifth grader is traumatized because some guy in second grade has nibbled a pop tart into the shape of a gun, then there's no hope.
There's no hope for anybody.
You don't need a school, you don't need a school guidance counselor, you know school guidance counselor is seriously ever going to be able uh to to remove the scars that that will leave.
Uh and in fact the scars left by being raised in a culture in which you're expected to go to the the trauma counselor if you've been exposed to a gun-shaped Poptart does far more damage than being exposed to the gun-shaped Pop Tart.
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