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April 28, 2011 - Rush Limbaugh Program
35:37
April 28, 2011, Thursday, Hour #3
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Yes, America's Anchorman is away, and this is your undocumented anchor man.
No supporting paperwork, no long-form birth certificate, live from the mountain vastness of northern New Hampshire.
Great to be with you.
Rush returns Monday, Monday at 12 Eastern.
Rush will be back.
I think he had to make a secret trip to London.
So you may see him in Westminster Abbey.
I think he got, after they disinvited Colonel Gaddafi, I think Rush maybe had a word with Elton John and picked up Gaddafi's ticket, which was actually a pretty good seat.
I gather Gaddafi had been seated just behind the parents of the bride.
And it was terribly embarrassing because he picked out a brand new dress for the wedding.
And then suddenly he gets disinvited.
I think they dropped it on him.
I think, in fact, NATO dropped the disinvitation to the royal wedding on the presidential palace in Tripoli.
So I mean, you don't do that to people.
Not to people you've been sucking up to for years and years, like Britain and France and everybody else have been doing with Colonel Gaddafi.
So I thought that was pretty bad.
But you may see Rush in the royal wedding coverage tomorrow.
I mentioned last hour that the head honcho of the American College of Surgeons, Dr. Lazar Greenfield, a distinguished vascular surgeon, had been forced to resign after referring to a scientific study in which researchers had found ingredients in semen that actually had healthy effects on the richly vascularized vagina.
And I'm not going to say vascularized vagina again because I said I had never hitherto used that phrase in my life.
And now I find myself involuntarily twitching and saying it every couple of minutes.
And a listener just wrote to me and said, can we combine a vascularized vagina with Uyghur Wednesday?
So we may have Wego Wednesday Vascularized Vagina Day sometime on the Rush Limbaugh show coming up.
Anyway, he'd had to resign because he was talking about how healthy male sperm was.
And the feminists and the ladies of Asafik persuasion had regarded this as entirely insulting and made him resign.
And I was interested to see who has the same view of the restorative properties of the male sex organ as the American feminists, the members of the American, the female members of the American College of Surgeons.
Abd al-Rahim Hussein Mohammed Abda al-Nashiri, a Saudi Arabian who reported directly to Osama bin Laden and is one of the most senior members of al-Qaeda held at Guantanamo, took injections to promote impotence to avoid being distracted by women, according to evidence uncovered by investigators at Guantanamo.
They reported that the detainee is so dedicated to jihad that he reportedly received injections to promote impotence and recommended the injections to others.
He received the injections so more time could be spent on jihad rather than being distracted by women.
Now, this guy, Abd al-Rahim Hussein Mohammed Abda al-Nashiri, now that would be a hell of a long-form birth certificate.
That would be the longest long-form birth certificate you would ever see.
Abd al-Rahim Hussein Mohammed Abda al-Nashiri.
He was allegedly the senior operative in the attack on the USS Cole, the destroyer, in October 2000.
17 US sailors were killed, by the way, in that attack.
And if you recall, that if the Clinton administration did not think it was worth rising to an insufficient provocation, that was their view of the attack on the USS Cole.
But this guy apparently was so dedicated to jihad that he took injections to promote impotence.
And so more time could be spent on jihad rather than being distracted by women.
Now, what I want to, I'm just interested in this because he was recommending it to everybody else.
And if he was, I was sharing a cell with him and he said, oh, come on, just have the impotence injection.
You'll soon be able to focus more on Jihad.
I'd be thinking, well, hang on a minute.
I'm only doing this.
I'm only like a suicide bomber so I can get the hit the virgin jackpot, get the 72 virgins in paradise.
Will the impotence injection have worn off by the time I get to paradise?
Because otherwise, the 72 virgins aren't going to be any use to me.
So I'm struck by, I would be interested if any if any students of Jihad could possibly explain that to me or have any idea of what Abd al-Rahim, if there's anyone from WikiLeaks listening who knows what Abd al-Rahim Hussein Muhammad Abda al-Nashiri Nashiri, the man with the world's longest long-form birth certificate, actually responded to that because I would be interested to know.
Anyway, he's now injecting the jihadists with an impotence drug, because that's really what you need.
That's the way to motivate you, look, guys.
Inject them with the impotence drug.
It's the bigotry of soft expectations or whatever.
Mark Stein infraus.
I was talking about Trump and I was saying Trump is not really a conservative.
He's a business guy.
And the way that works is that's why he gave money to Blagojevich in Illinois.
That's why he gave money to Rahm Emmanuel in Chicago.
I happened to be working for Hollinger, the newspaper group, at the time they were selling the Chicago Sun-Times site to Donald Trump.
I remember actually having a word with my boss, Conrad Black, who's a pal of Rush's down in Palm Beach.
And we were in their office in New York, and I took umbrage because Conrad cut the meeting short because Donald Trump was waiting in the outer office and Conrad wanted to focus on selling him the building.
And so Trump's that kind of guy.
When you want to get a building put up in Chicago, you've got to do business with the Blagojeviches and the Rahm Emanuels and all the rest of it.
So he gives money to them.
That's the way it works.
And that's the problem a lot of the time when you get a plugged-in corporate guy running for president.
It's the same thing.
You know, I don't even hold it against him that his line of designer Trump clothing is made of China.
This guy wants, he's running, the central point of his policy is that he's going to get tough with the Chinese.
He's so tough with the Chinese that he has his clothing line made there.
Why hold it against him?
Everybody's clothing is made in China.
If you took all the way all the Chinese clothing, the entire country would be walking around naked and we'd be able to see who'd take an Abdul al-Rahim Hussein Muhammad Abdel al-Nashiri's impotence drug.
It'd be staring you in the face.
We're all, everything is made in China.
Everything is made in China, including Donald Trump's clothing line.
And that's why it's difficult for a guy who's basically spent his life being plugged into Who Matters, funding Who Matters, suddenly deciding to run as a scrappy insurgent populist.
But beyond that, I don't hold that, so I don't hold that against him.
But I do hold this against him.
The idea that our problems were created by China.
They're not.
The problems of the United States were created by and here in the United States, and they need to be solved in the United States.
And if you solve them in the United States, then whoever's sitting in office in Beijing isn't going to matter.
They need to be solved here by Americans.
You cannot pass the buck on this one.
As I said, we borrow $188 million every hour.
What do we spend it on?
We waste it.
We throw it away.
I learned this over the Easter weekend.
Saturday night, the day before Easter.
I was wondering, the rest of my family had been, I'd just flown back from New York, and the rest of my family had been up in Quebec City for a couple of days.
And as best I understood, they were supposed to be back in around 8 o'clock in the evening.
Time's ticking on.
It's getting later and later and later, and I'm wondering where the hell they are.
And you know, you start to worry.
You think, well, you know, I wonder if something's happened.
Maybe they've had an accident on the road, or, you know, maybe they've just run out of gas.
They eventually show up.
It turns out, it turns out that they had, they bought some chocolate eggs up there, Easter eggs.
And when they arrived at the border post, the Quebec-Vermont border post, the border guard asked them whether they had anything to declare, and they said, no, we just bought some chocolate.
So they immediately said, what kind of chocolate?
And it turned out they had two kinder eggs, Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs.
These are sold in Canada.
These are sold in Latin America.
They're sold in Europe.
And immediately they were ordered inside.
And the Kinder eggs were confiscated.
And I am, in fact, looking right now at a Department of Homeland Security custody receipt for seized property and evidence in which the estimated domestic value of these two kinder eggs seized by U.S. Customs and Border Protection were estimated at $7.50.
Now you're thinking, you're probably thinking, why the hell did they seize these chocolate eggs?
Well, it was for my kids' safety.
The United States is the only nation on the planet, apparently.
Well, that's probably not true.
There's probably, you know, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, one, two others in there, to ban these kinder eggs.
Customs and Border Protection have a big alert for these things every Easter.
I had no idea about this.
Customs and Border Protection say that these eggs are popular in Europe, South America, and even Canada.
Within the egg, a large chocolate hen's egg in colorful wrapper, a toy within the egg is contained in an oval-shaped plastic capsule.
The toy requires assembly, and each egg contains a different toy.
Many of the toys that have been tested by the Consumer Product Safety Commission in the past were determined to present a choking hazard for young children.
So these eggs were confiscated.
These eggs were confiscated because it is apparently illegal in the United States to have a confectionery product with a non-nutritive object embedded in it.
Last year, CBP officers confiscated more than 25,000 of these banned chocolate eggs.
It requires coordination between CBP, the Food and Drug Administration, and the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
So don't worry about it.
There's only three federal agencies involved in coordinating to seize, to keep Americans safe from the menace of confectionery products with non-nutritive embeds.
You don't have to worry about it.
It's just three federal agencies.
It barely shows up.
It's a rounding.
It's a rounding error in the federal budget.
And don't even worry about it.
When you're borrowing $188 million every hour, this isn't worth worrying about.
Now, what was interesting to me was my kids are kind of cranky and contrarian as I am, and they said, well, okay, if it's not safe for you to admit these chocolate eggs to the United States of America, why don't you unwrap them now?
Give us the chocolate, we'll eat the chocolate, and then you can hold on to the plastic toys so we don't choke on them.
And then after that, when we finished eating the chocolate and it's safe for you to give us the plastic toys, we can take the plastic toys into the United States with us and play with them.
And that's my 10-year-old boy.
My 10-year-old boy, he's not a smart guy like Obama, but he figured out, he improvised a solution to this whole thing.
The guy said no.
The border guard said no.
My children were kept there, by the way, for an hour and 20 minutes, an hour and 20 minutes, while they saw three different officials, a U.S. Department of Agriculture official who has to supervise the seizure of the prohibited chocolate eggs.
Then they had to see a customs and border patrol guy to fill in all the paperwork for these $7.50 worth of banned seized chocolate eggs.
Shortly, I am told I should expect in the next three to four weeks a seven-page document that I have to read and sign consenting to the destruction of the seized chocolate eggs.
Or if I want to contest the seizure, I will have to pay a $250 storage fee for the $7.50 of seized chocolate eggs.
Now, you add this up: the seven-page form consenting to the destruction.
The hour and 20 minutes they kept two grade schoolers there while they did the paperwork on the seized chocolate eggs that they weren't allowed to eat.
Three government officials to supervise the seizure for my children of these three chocolate eggs.
You add up the cost of that.
You add up the cost of that.
The amount of money and resources that the United States government invested in taking two chocolate eggs.
And the wonder is we're only borrowing $188 million an hour.
We're only borrowing $188 million an hour.
They've just said we can't secure the southern border.
Forget about the southern border, the Mexican border.
No, all the drug gang has got to come across.
They've got to kill people.
They've got to behead people.
They've got to kidnap people because it's unfeasible to think we can possibly secure the southern border.
But we can seize every $3 chocolate egg coming across the Canadian border.
The quickest solution to solving the illegal immigration problem would be to bombard Mexicans with Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs and wait for them to try to attempt to sneak them into the United States of America.
A Mexican has no problem getting into the United States of America.
A Mexican with an illegal Kinder Surprise chocolate egg would immediately be seized, detained for an hour and a half, and have to fill in a seven-page form consenting to the destruction of the seized chocolate egg.
That's why this country is borrowing $188 million an hour because it wastes that $188 million an hour.
And if it doesn't grow up and stop wasting that $188 million an hour, it is going to die.
When you're borrowing $188 million every hour of the day, a 12-year plan isn't going to do it.
You're in trouble right now and you've got to fix it right now.
And dealing with the stupid chocolate egg ban and the waste of resources that goes into that would be a good place to start.
Mark Stein for Rush.
More to come.
Mark Stein in for a rush.
I made a little error half an hour ago, whatever it was, when I was talking about the famous words of that poem.
First, they came for the guys who sang kung fu fighting and I did nothing because I wasn't a disco fan.
Then they came for the heads of the American Academy of Physicians who talked about the restorative properties of sperm and I did nothing because I don't have a vascularized vagina.
That poem, I attributed it to Dietrich Bornhoff.
It is, of course, Martin Niemer, Martin Niemola, German theologians, German Protestant pastors of the mid-20th century.
So easy to get them confused.
So apologies, those lines were passed to Martin Niemola.
Let us go to Fabian, Staten Island, New York.
Fabian, it's great to have you on the Rush Limbaugh show.
Hello, Mark.
Thank you for taking my call.
My pleasure.
Regarding what you mentioned earlier about, I believe it was a study from the United Kingdom, was it, where someone was talking about how idioms in the English language are offensive to animals.
Hey, don't blame the Brits for this.
It's a joint study by Oxford University and the University of Illinois.
And one of the co-authors is from the University of Pennsylvania.
So you Americans have your fingerprints all over this ridiculous thing, too.
Don't blame it on subjects of Her Britannic Majesty.
You guys are up to your neck in it, too.
Point taken, point taken.
But my point is that that's right out of Dr. Dolittle.
Oh, the 1967 film with Rex Harrison.
I think there's a moment where he's in court and he's defending some animal.
Then he goes off on how idioms in the English language he finds very offensive.
That's joking as a pig and dirty as a dog.
You know, that's what it is.
That's the world.
What was an amusing scene in a children's movie in the 1960s is now the subject of academic journals in the early 21st century.
If people ask me, can he speak in Pelican?
I'd say like hellican.
I'd be right.
Can you, what is it?
Can you swear in hippopotamus?
I'd say, why not aim this?
And I would.
And that's the world we've made.
What I thought was a clever moment in a scene from a film I barely remember is he in this courtroom defending some animal, then going off on how all these idioms are offensive to animals.
Right, right, right, no.
No, but you know something?
That is actually the way to bet.
Because if you think of anything, you go back to the jokes they made about political correctness 30 years ago, where they took the dawn of political correctness.
They take the most extreme examples and exaggerate them for satirical purposes.
And now all the satirical purposes have come true.
So as you say, what was a sweet scene in a children's fable, now grown men bearing advanced degrees and holding tenure at the most prestigious academic institutions on the planet are basically advancing the same arguments as were made by Rex Harrison as Dr. Doolittle.
Fabian, that is an ingenious point.
Did you ever see the Eddie Murphy remake, by the way?
No, I didn't.
Okay, because it didn't have that talk to the animal song.
It didn't have the great song in it.
But I wondered whether, I can't remember now whether they retained that scene for the remake, or whether if by that point they were already so aware that, in fact, these ideas were, in fact, serious ideas that you didn't want to make jokes of or just suggest were children's fables, whether they'd cut that scene.
But that's the world we're in now.
The Journal of Animal Ethics, published by the University of Illinois and Oxford University in England, are now arguing for the same policies that Dr. Doolittle was standing up and arguing for in a 1960s children movie.
Take the most, that's the best way to bet, by the way.
Take the most absurd joke that's around today.
It'll be law in 20 years' time.
Your undocumented anchor man sitting in for Rush.
Rush will return live Monday.
But don't forget, you can access all of Rush in print and audio and get downloads for your app or apps for your download or whatever they say.
If you go to rushlimbaugh.com, you can get your iPhone app for Rush if you go to rushlimbaugh.com and sign up for 247 Rush membership, which means you get access to pretty much everything there.
So it's like he's never away and you don't have to be discombobulated by sinister foreign guest hosts.
1-800-282-2882.
Let us go to Sherry in Corpus Christi, Texas.
Sherry, thanks for waiting.
You're live on the Rush Limbaugh Show.
Hey, Mark.
It's great to talk to you.
My pleasure.
Good to have you with us.
Thank you.
I was telling the call screener that I get insulted every time Obama opens his mouth when he was talking last night about this silliness and carnival and all that business.
You know, I was thinking to myself, what an idiot.
You know, he is the one who has created all of this silliness and all this carnival atmosphere because he wasn't upfront when Clinton asked.
It was the Democrats who asked during the campaign for his birth certificate.
Right, right.
Right.
You know what's fascinating to me about this, by the way, is that, as you say, all this was controlled by him because he could have, the minute people started agitating about this, he could have killed the whole thing dead and released it in Nothing Flat.
And he didn't.
He sat on it because he thought it worked to his advantage.
And what I love about this is that the press are his pals.
They're covering for him.
I can't remember whether I described them as the Palace Guard or Court Eunuchs a couple of hours ago, but they're basically both.
They're his Palace Guard and his Court Eunuchs.
They cover for him.
They protected him.
They didn't raise any of this.
They dispatched everyone to Wazilla, Alaska, to investigate every single aspect of Sarah Palin's life.
Gonna have been less interested.
Obama has, just on his own version of things, a highly interesting, has had a highly interesting life, and yet the press had absolutely no interest in it.
They wanted every aspect of Sarah Palin's rather boring, dreary life growing up in Wazilla, Alaska, they were fascinated by.
But Mr. Exotica, man raised in Indonesia and with family in Kenya, had no interest in it at all.
And the minute the Bertha thing got going, he sat on that document until as long as it was in his political advantage.
And then when it wasn't in his political advantage, he blames his buddies in the media.
If I was one of the eunuchs at the New York Times or the eunuchs at the Washington Post, I would be insulted.
I would be furious with him.
We did our best to kill this story for you for years.
And then when we couldn't kill it, we made it a cudgel with which to mock Republicans and conservatives and tea parties as a bunch of nuts.
We did everything you said.
We did everything in your advantage on this.
And then when you decide it's no longer in your advantage, you stiff us.
You blame us for the thing.
That's how the people who fall for Obama are the biggest rubes on the planet because he'll stiff you every time.
So he blames them.
He blamed the media for a political strategy that worked to his advantage.
Amazing, Sherry.
Amazing.
You're right.
It's actually, it's nothing to do with the poor old boys at the New York Times and ABC and CBS.
You're right about that.
I mean, he does.
I get so incensed when he walks so arrogantly into laughing to himself, thinking, okay, how can I fool them now?
And anyway, I just.
So you don't like all those things, those pictures of him with his feet up on the Oval Office desk, the one that Queen Victoria gave President Rutherford Hayes with his open-neck shirt laughing his head off.
Those drive you nuts, those pictures of him just laughing in his open-neck shirt and all the rest of it.
Oh, yes.
They drive me insane.
I can't even stand to listen to him speak.
I have to go into the other room whenever he's talking because I just get so aggravated.
I'm just yelling at the TV.
Well, you must be spending a lot of time in the other room because he gives a lot of speeches.
I'd have the other room remodeled.
You're going to be spending most of your time there between now and November 2012.
I'm afraid he doesn't get re-elected.
Well, you know what we need?
We need someone who doesn't get the narrative defined for them by the media and the way McCain did.
Rush mentioned this yesterday.
McCain was saying, we have no place in our team for anybody who so much as mentions Senator Obama's middle name.
He basically played the game on Obama's terms, on the media terms, and he lost.
Trump played on Trump terms.
I don't happen to agree with, as I said, I'm not a big fan of Trump's.
I don't think he's a conservative.
Don't think he's a Republican.
Disagree with his views on who's to blame for the hellish hole we've dug for ourselves.
But whatever you feel about him, Trump played on Trump terms.
And that's what we need in our guy this time around.
We need a guy who doesn't play on the media's terms, who doesn't play on the Democrats' terms, but who plays on his own terms the way Trump did when he forced in the space of two weeks, in the space of two weeks, he forced Obama to reverse his position on something that Obama had been messing with for years.
So that's what we need.
The lesson you need to learn from that is Trump played on Trump's terms and he won there.
And that's what we need in our candidate.
By the way, that arrogant laughing thing, you know, I'd like to come back to that a moment.
I made a reference to the royal wedding tomorrow at the top of the show, and I got a couple of emails saying, oh, who cares?
Who cares about all these pampered monarchical parasites getting hitched in London?
Americans settle that question once and for all in 1776.
So we don't need to worry about that.
It's unbecoming to pay attention to it.
That would be a good argument if you didn't, if in effect Americans hadn't elected a neo-monarchical head of state.
You can talk about all the blood-sucking parasites in the royal family and all the rest of it, but I'll tell you something.
The Queen would never dream of taking Air Force One to Chicago to tape Oprah.
What's Republican about that?
This guy is supposed to be a citizen legislator.
Have you ever been in an American city when the President of the United States has been giving a speech on the other side of town?
Just because you happen to be in a building near where the president is speaking, you're in lockdown.
Your life is on hold.
You can't do anything.
You can't go anywhere.
Where's the citizen legislator in that?
The citizen executive in that.
That's what the president of the United States is supposed to be.
He's supposed to be a guy like Calvin Coolidge, who takes the oath of office in his candle-lit homestead presided over by his father, who's a Justice of the Peace.
And he goes to Washington and he serves his term and he comes home and he dies and he's buried on the same hillside with the same gravestone as his seven, the seven generations of Coolidges in the line before him.
That's a citizen executive.
There's no point complaining about the cost of the royal wedding when the cost of the presidency of the United States is exponentially vaster than that.
The Queen wouldn't dream of carrying on.
The Queen wouldn't dream of hijacking Air Force One to fly up to New York to catch a Broadway show.
And by the way, the Queen's a bargain because she's not only Britain's head of state, she's Canada's head of state, she's Australia's head of state, she's Belize's head of state, she's Jamaica's head of state, she's the Solomon Islands head of state.
That's the biggest job share on the planet.
If that isn't an environmentally friendly, sustainable head of state arrangement, there's none on the planet.
That's a bargain compared to this.
What's the point of dumping George III To elect King Barak and Mary Antoinette to swank about.
The sheer bloatedness, the bloatedness that attends that attends the first family of the United States now is un-Republican and unbecoming.
And somebody ought to do something about that.
I mean, Donald Trump probably isn't the guy to do that, but I would imagine that if you were to elect Donald Trump as president, at least when he's flying up to Chicago to tape Oprah, he'll be flying on Trump Force One rather than Air Force One.
And if you're going to be swanking around like that, you should be doing it on your own dime.
And that's why we had the grotesque and offensive sight just a couple of weeks ago when he was doing whatever it was, all these stupid events he does now, the first Facebook town hall meeting or whatever the hell it was.
This guy takes a motorcade to go and lecture a man on how he's driving an improper vehicle.
He's telling a man, a guy climbs into a motorcade to lecture a fellow who has to drive himself to work.
Where's the citizen executive in that?
What's Republican about that?
This stuff is way out of line.
It's beyond.
You're not comparing yourself with Buckingham Palace on this.
You're comparing yourself with the most bloated and decadent royal houses in the Middle East, like those House of Saud guys when they fly into that resort where they've got a big resort in Spain and they give the exclusive contract to supply the so-called, quote, escorts, unquote, to an agency in London that supplies them only with blondes.
And the blondes have to be rotated every two weeks and new ones flown in for the Saudi princes because the original.
blondes are all exhausted by then.
When you have the level of bloated expenditures that the United States now attends the U.S. presidency, there's nothing Republican about that.
Calvin Coolidge is a citizen executive.
A guy who requires a government jet to fly him to fly into Chicago to tape a daytime talk show is not a citizen executive.
Mark Steinin for Rush, lots more to come.
Mark Stein in Farush.
Hey, let's go to Andy in Selvington, Connecticut.
Andy, you're live on the Rush Rush Limbaugh show.
Great to have you with us.
Great.
Yeah.
Hi, thanks.
I'm a little embarrassed to be calling with this comment, but my disagreement with you today, Mark, outweighs my embarrassment.
Really?
You disagree with me.
My incisive geopolitical socioeconomic commentary is flawed in some way.
Is this the prospect you're raising?
Well, the flaw I see is the fact that you think it's funny that the Western world is debating whether or not Kung Fu Soldier is to be considered as hate speech if sung while Chinese gentlemen might be passing by.
All right.
Kung Fu yeah, kung fu fighting.
That's right.
Number one, 1974.
And Andy, you just let's let me let me let's step back a bit.
You you think it's not the cause of Western civilizational collapse?
And or are you arguing that we're happy?
No, we should be happy.
I believe it is.
I think it is time for the debate, and I'm going to tell you why.
You see, I am a Grinch, and every time at Christmas time, they play the Grinch song over and over.
And I'll have you know, I'm not vile, I'm not mean or ugly as a crocodile.
I'm a nice Grinch.
I'm a sharpie-sensited Grinch.
And when I go out in public, why people don't even want to touch me with a 10 and a half foot pole because of the stereotype of that song.
So if you were passing a karaoke bar and some guy was singing You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
It happens to me all the time, Mark, and I can't tell you the hurt and the pain.
And I think EIB and your ability to reach millions and rush to reach billions should be able to compile a list of songs that we, of course, should be in, or at least.
No, no.
No, no, Andy, you're thinking too small.
What you need is we need a federal musical performance regulatory agency.
Made up of at least six agencies, I'm sure.
Yeah, with subsidiary.
Probably a, yeah, we need a czar.
We need a zinging czar.
Zinging czar.
Actually, wasn't that, I think that's Bing Crosby and Jane Wyman in some movie.
Zing, Zing, Zing a Little Zong with Me.
We need a zinging czar.
I haven't thought of that song since 1943 or whatever.
It was a hit, but it's obviously lodged there.
We need a zinging czar presiding over a federal agency of singing regulation to determine which persons in which identity groups can sing which songs.
And that way we will avoid these stereotype situations where people like you have to be on the receiving end of your Amean One, Mr. Grinch, every Christmas, and Chinese people have to be offended.
Actually, maybe the simplest answer would be to take all the Chinese references in Kung Fu Fighting, which are pretty cool, and replace them with the word Grinch.
So instead, we'd be singing to you.
Where do you go, Mark?
Do you see where this type of thing leads?
Oh, yeah.
No, no, you're right.
You're right.
I'm sorry, I've committed the – you enjoy the most important human right in the world today, which is the human right not to be offended.
And my suggestion that we should, my not taking seriously your concern about the Grinch stereotyping in your Amean One, Mr. Grinch, with its implicit suggestion that Grinches are mean.
You're right.
You're absolutely right, Andy, in Southington, Connecticut.
We need to get on top of that.
And you know what the answer is, Andy?
Federal regulations.
Sensitivity classes, of course.
Yes, sensitivity classes, but they have to be federally mandated sensitivity classes.
Thanks for your call, Andy.
You know, he is right on top of it.
There is nothing now.
By the way, this whole chocolate egg thing, I'm not even sure it's safe.
I didn't realize my kids were attempting to smuggle in these illegal chocolate eggs that are legal on the rest of the planet, but not in the United States of America.
And I wonder if we don't need a chocolate egg regulatory agency.
You know, Customs and Border Protection, the Food and Drug Administration and the Consumer Protection Safety Council, maybe instead of having it divided between three different agencies, we should just have the federal Department of Chocolate Egg Regulation.
We can build a night, it will stimulate the economy to build a vast federal Department of Chocolate Egg Regulation building in the Washington area, probably in suburban Virginia, that pretty much filled up the Department of the District of Columbia now.
And it can be next door to the Federal Department of Song Regulation.
And eventually, the economy will be so stimulated because from the East Coast to the West Coast, the land will be filled with federal regulatory agencies, and then we will have achieved the perfect utopia in which every aspect of human existence is micro-regulated at the cost of $200 billion trillion dollars an hour.
Mark Stein Infra Rush, more to come.
Hey, Mark Stein, Infra Rush.
Don't forget to join us tomorrow for another round.
We'll have live coverage, full three hours of Royal Wedding coverage, page boy to page boy.
It all starts 12 noon Eastern tomorrow.
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