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April 6, 2006 - Rush Limbaugh Program
36:22
April 6, 2006, Thursday, Hour #1
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Welcome to today's edition of the Rush 24-7 podcast.
Man, this is really amazing what is happening in the Senate with this immigration bill.
It almost uh I'm as cynical when it comes to politicians as anybody ever has been, but this may take the cake.
What's going on at what happened last night, what's been going on this morning, uh and measured against the past of say Harry Reid and Barbara Boxers, it is just incomprehensible.
But I, if anybody can make you understand it, it is I who can do it.
And so you're at the right place.
Greetings, my friends from high atop.
The EIB building in midtown Manhattan.
I am Rush Limbaugh amidst.
Well, there aren't any billowing clouds of fragrant aromatic uh smoke because I had a chance to puff on this thing.
I've been so busy, but I will fix that in mere moments.
A ditto cam is up and running.
Uh, and by the way, we are in New York and we have a different setup here in the Ditto Cam.
I know that you're gonna send me emails.
What did you change the camera?
We haven't changed anything.
Uh we're just in a different location.
It's a slightly different setup in New York than we have at our EIB Southern Command in Florida.
But uh let me back off a little bit there, and we are um gonna be up and running on the Ditto Cam for all three hours.
I got just rolling in stacks of stuff here today, folks.
So let let me first get started with what's happened.
There's a major, major, major breakthrough.
Oh, everybody.
You should have seen it.
Frist went to the cameras today, the microphones just this morning, about an hour ago, to announce this big breakthrough and frist finishes, and all these other senators started elbowing each other out of the way to get up to that microphone to be in plain view of the of the camera.
And here's the the upshot of this uh is that illegal immigrants, this this this new breakthrough bill.
Uh oh, McKinney is expressing sincere regret for the altercation on the floor of the House right now.
Cynthia McKinney.
That means the Democrats have taken her to the woodshed.
They are all John Lewis told her to shut up and get over this.
Uh and Stanny Hoyer told her to shut up and get over this.
Well, she's a distraction.
They're out there trying to prove it's Republicans into the uh in the SOBs, and here she's taking all the oxygen out of that room.
Uh well, I'm gonna get into that in in uh in in due course, because there's a there's a a great story here in the uh Washington Post, uh the internal document prepared by top Democratic strategists warns that a majority of African American voters in Maryland are opening up to supporting Republican Senate candidate Michael Steele, and they advise the party not to wait to knock him down, which means take him out.
Now, when I saw this, this is great news.
I'm looking at Cynthia McKinney.
You look at the black Republicans here seeking office.
You got Lynn Swan, you got Michael Steele, you got Ken Blackwell, and you go to the Democrat side, you get Cynthia McKinney.
And that's why they had to get her on the floor and apologizing and try to move this behind them because she's the wrong face at all times, at any time for the Democratic Party.
Now, my get back to the immigration story.
All right.
Big big compromise announced today, big breakthrough.
Um it would require illegal immigrants who've been in the United States between two years and five years to return to their home country briefly and then re-enter as temporary workers.
They could then begin a process of seeking citizenship.
Illegal immigrants here longer than five years would not be required to return home.
Those in America less than two years would be required to leave without assurances of returning and take their place in line with others seeking entry papers.
It looks to me uh that everybody in the illegal alien population is gonna be put on a citizenship path.
It's just some of them are gonna be put on a slower path than others.
The whole thing is pathetic.
There still isn't any enforcement in it.
We're gonna make an announcement, what are you gonna do?
Put billboards up, PSAs on radio and TV.
If you're illegal, you gotta scram.
You gotta leave.
We're not gonna find the employers.
We're not we're not gonna I mean the the that hire them.
Uh look, here's I am told that that uh there basically five Republican senators were a holed up last night trying to put together some sort of face-saving compromise.
Those senators are McCain, Hagel, Specter, Mel Martinez, and Frist.
And uh the other Republican senators had no idea what they were doing.
The initial bill that came out of this committee was five hundred pages long and are trying to push it through today without anybody having had a chance to read it.
That's why you're seeing stories that Republicans are prepared to filibuster their own bill.
Because Republican yes, Republicans are preparing to filibuster this thing if it if because they don't know what's in it.
And they weren't included in the uh in the in the in the hole-in-the-wall gang that was working on this last night to uh to put this together.
So you look who worked this out, McCain Hagel Specter, Martinez and Frist.
You have to ask, where was George Allen in this meeting?
Where was John Kyle in this meeting?
Where was uh where was uh uh John Cornyn?
George Allen, where where was Jeff Sessions in this meeting?
Where were some of these other Republican senators?
Uh you know, it it's I said at the opening of the uh program, I'm as big a cynic when it comes to elected officials as anybody.
I don't know that I have ever seen anything like this.
Security is secondary, the rule of law is secondary.
All these clowns are doing is blatantly buying votes by making more citizens here.
They're just out there gonna they're they they've they've basically what they've done here is found a way to turn illegal into legal because we can't deal with it.
They don't want to deal with it.
Uh and and then and these idiot Republicans are going along with this think they are buying peace with the Democrats and with and with voters.
Harry Reed is stuck so far out on a limb, he could be destroyed politically if the Republicans had the guts.
Harry, because of his statements back in 1993, his bill in 93, he is lying through his teeth.
He went to the floor of the Senate yesterday to explain that he didn't mean that bill five days after he introduced that bill in 1993.
So that was the lowest point of my life.
That's BS because months later he was out giving a speech defending that bill.
There's a Washington Times story today.
Mr. Reed yesterday disavowed his 93 bill and his statements in support of it, and in an unusual rambling confession on the floor of the Senate yesterday, he said it was the low point of his career.
A few days after introducing the bill in August of 93, Dingy Harry said in a near whisper, as many senators looked on in amazement.
His wife, the daughter of immigrants, confronted him after a meeting in Las Vegas and scolded him about his anti-immigrant views.
She and other associates of his pointed out the errors of my way, quote unquote.
And ever since Dingy Harry said he's favored more inclusive approach to immigration reform.
So he went to the floor yesterday, long rambling speech, lowest point of my career was at 93 bill.
My wife came to me and she told me the truth.
She read me the riot act.
She's the daughter of immigrants.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Well, that's all.
It's a lie.
Seven months after he introduced the bill.
Harry Reid introduced it again.
Seven months after heven months after he made this the original introduction of the bill, he introduced it again, according to Senate records.
That bill was referred to the Judiciary Committee in March of 1994, later that summer.
Dingy Harry testified before the Judiciary Committee and advocated cutting legal immigration from one million people annually to 325,000.
He lied through his teeth on the floor of the Senate yesterday, talking about his wife in a barely audible whisper.
He was out still trying to sell this bill a year after he introduced it in 1993.
The Associated Press reported and quoted Dingy Harry at the time, a gluttonous admission of new people every year will have a pernicious effect on our infrastructure and our environment.
We cannot continue to feed, clothe, house, educate, and employ unlimited new populations.
States news service quoted him saying, Mr. Reed's office said last night at uh this conversation or conversion, I'm sorry, occurred after the second time he introduced his bill but couldn't give an exact timeline.
Yeah, that's what his wife said, I can't believe you're folks.
My point is that Harry Reid is is is out there waiting for political embarrassment like we should Have taken his 93 bill and made it ours.
The Republicans should have done that.
But no, no, no, no.
They're in a battle here to buy votes.
They gotta make sure we don't make the Hispanic community mad.
It's a big myth.
The Hispanic community is six percent of the American voting public.
Six percent.
I looked it up.
It's not this j may be the largest minority now in the country, but in terms of the percentage of them that vote, it's six percent.
Anyway, the bottom, it's too late to stop any of this anyway.
It was too late 1965 with Ted Kennedy.
He's another guy who's sticking out there waiting to be politically embarrassed and destroyed because he introduced a bill, uh, immigration bill in 1965 and and and made promises that that bill would make sure that none of what is happening today would happen, and it is.
The Democrats are just they're getting away with with the kinds of things that they could be defeated at the polls over if it were pointed out to people.
Talk about blatant hypocrisy.
These are the same politicians who have failed to secure our borders to get a handle on illegal immigration, and now they're up there this morning patting themselves on the back for fixing the problem.
They haven't fixed anything.
It doesn't change a thing that is occurring in the country right now.
They have made legal illegal behavior.
Illegal behavior has just become legal, and that is their reform.
I've got to take a break, but I want to go back that and touch on this Harry Reed bill 13 years ago and his floor speech yesterday, pretty much has summed it up.
Barbara Boxer uh Willie hear this.
She actually came up with a bill called the Boxer National Guard, something, or I'll get the details for you here in a minute.
She wanted to deploy the National Guard at the border.
She they were all concerned about it back in the 90s.
They're just so off the wall, so inconsistent, and the Republicans don't call them on it.
It's just amazing.
But beyond the politics of it, the end result here is that uh we're all being pandered to.
They're all being treated like we're a bunch of idiots.
And I don't even know if this bill's ever going to actually pass.
You know, they gotta conference it with the House.
The House has a much tougher bill.
But uh, I don't even think they care about that.
When you get down to brass tax, they just want this press conference today, and they want their statements so they can run around when they uh re-election campaigns for this November began in earnest, and all claim they were on the right side of the issue for a one particular voting block.
Anyway, quick timeout, folks, stick with us, we'll be right back.
Yes, we are back.
El Rushball, half my brain uh tied behind my back just to uh just to make it fair.
Twelve to thirteen short years ago, Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid and everybody else complained that illegal immigration was out of control.
Barbara Boxer wanted to send the National Guard to the border.
In fact, let me find that little uh story here.
It's from the uh Yep, the uh Los Angeles Times.
Ten months, the date is this is August 6th of 1994.
Ten months after Senator Barbara Boxer secured federal funds to deploy National Guard troops to hinder illegal immigration.
The program hasn't been implemented anywhere in the country, and the Department of Defense has no plans to do so.
Last year, the first term California Senator hailed her so-called Boxer National Guard plan as an innovative solution to the state's illegal immigration problem.
Supplementing federal border patrol agents with quote, well-trained, well-equipped, unquote, military personnel, uh, Boxer said at the time, could prove the most cost-effective way to bolster enforcement at the California border.
I have just treated you to the absolute lies that are being told by Harry Reid.
Harry Reed introduced an anti-immigration bill in 1993 that is exactly what's needed today.
And then he went out and made a speech about it, talked, and I've got a copy of the speech here.
Talked about how wonderful this the bill was and what the problem that the immigration uh uh uh issue poses for the country.
Uh it goes on and on and on, and then called on this yesterday, goes to the Senate floor and says, Well, that was the low point in my life.
He told his tear-jerking story That his wife really reamed him.
And of course, who's gonna who's gonna doubt that?
That's what wives do.
You know, so why his wife reamed him for being anti-immigrant since she was the daughter of immigrants.
And he said it was the low point of his life after introducing that bill.
Problem is he introduced it again seven months later.
So when asked about that, oh no, the low point was after I introduced it the second time.
He's out there trying to disassociate himself.
I'm sorry, dissociate himself from virtually everything he has said or done.
So is Ted Kennedy, and they're getting away with it.
Twelve to thirteen years ago, they're going on and on and on about the evils of illegal immigration.
Suddenly everything's just fine.
Illegal immigration is terrific.
We need more of it.
They're the backbone, they're the future.
They do jobs Americans won't do.
What's happened here is that the Republicans and Democrats have both gone out and they've claimed victory.
They had their massive little press conference today, they're happy as they can be, and uh everybody else in the country is gonna get screwed over this.
This actually this this is one of the best examples of Washington inside the beltway versus the rest of the country that I have uh that I have ever seen.
There is a complete gap between the people in this country and their representatives, a complete disconnect, and the people in Washington know it, and they are still in a defiant mode.
They know full well that this is not even a debate about immigration.
We're not even talking about immigrants.
These people on the two groups of Hispanics and the one they're once following the traditional path of legality and don't think they're not upset, don't think everybody else in the pipeline doing this legally is not going to be burning up when they hear about this.
And there are American citizens who are trying to sponsor illegals, or immigrants rather, trying to sponsor them in the legal pathway, and they have to jump through hoops.
I got an email from uh from a guy who described what he's going through to try to get an associate of his through the legal pathway to become a citizen.
And it's incredible.
And and while all this is going on, he's watching the hoops being jumped through by these people in Washington to basically exonerate the illegals and find a way to turn them legal as quickly as possible.
Uh uh you couple that with this May Day March that's coming up and the continued marches, even after the you watch.
Despite this magnificent agreement, this breakthrough today, there's still gonna be the marches.
There's still gonna be the protests because this isn't about immigration.
The left, loony left, and the fringe left's gotten hold of this movement, is going to turn it into a tool for its uh its own purposes.
Um what's happening here is our politicians looking 10 years down the road, they're creating circumstances in which illegal immigrants uh will grow.
This is there there are no disincentives whatsoever.
And they see future generations of voters that they don't want to make mad, and they're selling out security and the rule of law, they're slobbering all over each other to appear as leaders of some courageous effort here.
And let's be honest about businesses love this.
We're not being fooled by this.
This is they avoid the tax and entitlement contributions that all legal businesses have to pay so that they can uh build their profits a little bit at the expense of other taxpayers who subsidize this.
Now, you know me, I'm not against profits, but this isn't a level playing field.
Let me go out and try to hire a bunch of illegals, fire all you guys in there, train some illegals, not pay social security, not pay any, not pay health care benefits on them, so I make more money, and find out what would happen to me if I tried that.
And what would you guys would be leading the charge against me?
And you should.
If I did it, I'm not gonna do it.
I'm not even oriented that way.
There's nobody in a leadership position here, Democrat or Republican willing to take this on, willing to show any guts, willing to stand up and put a stop to this.
The Democrats, they're even selling out their union and minority communities, which are clearly harmed by illegal.
That's what's a even the Democrats are selling out their boys.
The Democrats are selling out their gold star supporters, the unions and other minority communities, because they're clearly harmed by illegal labor exported to this country.
The Republicans are selling out their grassroots to appease the Chamber of Commerce, the agribusiness crowd, and other interests that profit from this.
So they want a comprehensive reform plan that does not include punishing anybody in this illegal chain.
It doesn't build enough detention facilities to detain illegal immigrants coming across the border.
We don't have any disincentives to stop this flow coming into the country.
In fact, just the opposite now.
They want a comprehensive sellout.
And they got it.
And this this bill has everything in it but real security measures.
So if an illegal doesn't learn English, what are we going to do about it?
Nothing.
This is all window dressing intended to dupe people.
And I'm telling you, they're the they're gonna they're gonna tout their enforcement mechanisms, but if they're afraid to make them mad, then they're not going to enforce anything.
Maybe a couple of show cases here to show that they are, but aside from that, uh can you tell I'm steamed?
Yeah, I'm uh the I don't often get this.
I'm steamed, folks.
My intelligence is insulted with all of this.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
Here we are in the home of the brave and the land of the screwed.
You know, um late ladies and gentlemen, I uh if I'm Zoe Baird today, or if I'm Kimba Wood today, uh, or or Linda Chavez, I gotta be burning up.
Kimba Wood and Zoe Baird were denied high profile government jobs because they had illegals working for them and didn't pay social security taxes on them.
I if I were the I I what do you see uh the the hypocrisy in all this?
Well, Russia, it's a different scenario.
They're government workers, they must be above the law.
Why why is somebody more liable to be uh within the bounds of the law than anybody else?
Anyway, I just I I I I so despise pandering, I despise arrogant condescension.
I despise people who are telling us that we're getting a bed of roses when we're getting a thorn full of nails or a crown full of nails, whatever.
I I I just the insult to the intelligence and the fact that the problem is not being solved while they claim that it is, is beyond.
But this business, uh there's another aspect of this, and I'm sorry to keep beating this into the ground here, but but Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer and Ted Kennedy are just they are set up to become the next Cynthia McKinney on this issue, particularly Harry Reid.
Uh there just doesn't seem to be any desire to play the game that way.
Uh at least among the five Republicans holed up last night trying to put this together again, it was McCain Hagel.
Uh and since McCain and Hegel, uh Mel Martinez, uh uh uh Frist, and there's one other in there.
Who was it?
Um Specter.
Yeah.
Um I guess this group runs the Republican conference in the Senate, runs the uh runs the cocks anyway.
Kathy in Weymouth, uh, Massachusetts.
Uh, you're up.
Spell me a bit here.
Give me a chance to cool down.
How are you?
Oh I can't tell you how I feel.
But uh the Republicans think we can't do anything.
Uh, you know, that we're just gonna have to put up with what they do because our only choice is the Democrats.
So what can we do?
Well, if you're a Republican out there, what I say for you to do is to get down to your town or your City Hall and unenroll.
And and that's it.
I mean, I'm not gonna wait in the next election, enroll again.
No, it's it's like a woman who, you know, your husband's cheated on you six times, and then uh you you're gonna take them back the seventh.
No, no.
They've done this over and over and over.
They make all these promises and then they do nothing.
They let people like Pat Leahy say, uh, oh, let's stop the ethnic and racial slurs.
What I I think I know what that means.
He's a Democrat, and that's us.
That's not what the Republicans I know aren't like that.
So let's all get up.
Let's get out, let's unenroll and let's do it today.
Let's start a movement.
I have a no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I've a different theory.
I think we should all go and register four or five different times and vote four or five different we ought to start everybody behaving illegally.
Uh and get to the point where they can't.
That's my my tax movement.
You know, my tax reform movement is to have a giant movement of 40 people, not pay taxes, not file a returns, and after a while have that number get so big that they have to reform the tax code in order to collect because they don't have enough jails To put us all in.
Yeah, I I saw Robin.
I mean, that's the message that's being said here.
Go rob a bank and then say, hey, you're not you're not enforcing other aspects of the law.
Why are you enforcing this?
Exactly.
Why not an amnesty for people who haven't paid their taxes?
Americans.
Americans who haven't paid their taxes.
Let's have an amnesty for them.
That's a good one.
Right.
Why is she a good thing?
Well, that's never the that's never gonna be because the the the without your tax money, they don't they don't they don't have any job.
I mean, their job is spending your money.
Yeah, on illegal immigrants, on their health care area.
But this is not don't you know?
But their tutors.
Kathy, Kathy, I just I I want to I want to I want to caution you here, this not just the Republicans.
I mean, the re the you you are Republican, so their actions here might uh uh upset you more than Democrats because the Democrats are a known commodity and so forth.
But this this is a joint effort.
In this in this bill, there are no Democrats and Republicans, there are just senators.
Now, there's one aspect of this, folks, and it was reported earlier today, and I I I referenced this uh earlier.
Um Republicans have been talking about filibustering their own immigration bill today in the face of steadfast refusals by Democrats to allow amendments to the bill that uh uh a lot of conservatives consider to be amnesty.
So, as an alternative to this threat to filibuster.
Uh Majority Leader Bill Frist reached an agreement last night with fellow Republicans on a new comprehensive immigration plan that includes increasing border security to guest worker plan but does not resolve concerns about amnesty.
Now, uh meaning there are still some Republicans in the Senate who were left out of this.
They were not part of that hole in the wall gang that met last night to put this thing together, the McCain, Hegel, Martinez, Spectre, Frist group, and who knows what they're gonna do once they see this.
It's not over because there's still the House side, and that bill is far different than this, and they have to go to conference to reconcile the two bills.
That's why I said yesterday, I will not be surprised if this never really becomes law.
And and and that's another reason I'm I'm cynical about it is because these guys that were all on television today and have a role in the language of this current breakthrough bill really don't even need it to become law.
All they all that to campaign and re-elect, all they all they have to do is go out and say, This is where I stood on this issue, and I'm uh the idea of getting something done on this is the last thing on anybody's mind.
And that's the thing.
This is this is pure electioneering posturing, uh, and it's all based in fear, uh, which also offends me.
Here's Mike in Longmont, Colorado.
You're next on the EIB network.
Hello.
Hi, Rush.
Glad to speak with you.
Uh look, uh it's it's sort of like our legislators have declared war on us.
And us being the people who basically are supposed to be the bosses of the country, ha ha.
But in the meantime, try this one on precise.
No immigration without assimilation.
Because that covers all the bases.
And that's the big issue right now is uh these folks want to come here, use, abuse, drain uh until it turns you know, pale white, this country, and send their monies back to Mexico, et cetera.
I have no problem with legal immigration.
I have no problem with legal immigrants.
They come to this country and make a contribution.
They become citizens, assimilation.
That isn't what these people are after.
And what they're after is more than illegal.
It's immoral because it's designed to destroy our country.
Hang on just a second.
Just a second.
I need to find something here.
Uh you have just reminded me, and I want to do it live rather than go get the tape.
The uh morning update that ran today.
Uh I have to I have to find I brought it up with me from Florida somewhere here.
I've got to find it and we'll locate it during the break, as I again I want to do it live.
Um, and I'll I'll it I'll I'll I'll not tell you right now what it was that you triggered in me that that leads me to this.
I want to respond to something else that you said in in your call.
You said no immigration without assimilation.
Let me repeat again, you have just just so nobody m uh misunderstands.
There are two groups of Hispanic immigrants that we're talking about.
There's the group that's following the legal Pathway.
And then there's the illegal group.
The illegal group is what we are all concerned about here, and the lack of any attention or or concern to it.
Number one, it represents a huge problem border security-wise.
There doesn't seem to be any focus on securing and ho and and and shoring up the border.
But beyond that, that second group has no intention of assimilating.
That's the point.
Now politicians in Washington don't care.
That's not at all what they're concerned about.
They only see masses and masses of new voters down the road.
Both parties are looking at it that way.
And they're looking at it as they're afraid to offend any of these people or their uh counterparts anywhere else for fear that they'll be taken against them, taken out on them at the polls.
Now, this business of assimilation.
When you when you talk about the legal pathway to immigration and the uh the the traditional stories we all know from Europe, uh Eastern and Western Europe, uh Southern Europe, uh China, the Asian communities, Pacific Rim, Mexico is different in this regard.
All those people that left far away lands knew full well they were coming to America.
They wanted to become Americans, and that's what immigration required of them.
They learned the language.
We did not have to change any language uh laws in order to accommodate them.
They came and became Americans.
Well, Mexico is just, depending on where you are, a couple feet away.
It's not like there's a long journey and you're giving up a culture and abandoning it now.
You're you're just you're dropping across the border for a job.
You're coming here for work because your own country is so pathetic that they have a policy that believes in a permanent underclass of low-paid workers as a means of supporting the elite.
And they and they're never going to change that.
So you have the illegal community, not even immigrants.
That's that's the thing that nobody's facing here, particularly in Washington.
This is not an immigration problem.
This is a flood America with low low uneducated um uh job applicants from one particular country, Mexico.
And maybe maybe other Latin American countries are you know have a percentage of it, but but there's there's no attempt to assimilate.
That's not why they're here.
They're not here to become Americans.
They're here looking for jobs.
I'm sure many of them think at some point they're going to go back home.
When they get here, they find out, wow, this place is even better than we heard.
And uh, and they don't leave.
Now, I don't mean for this.
What when I when I say this, I'm not I'm not commenting on the character of these people when I talk about they're not here to assimilate.
I don't I I I am not saying that as a group that they uh uh are deficient in character or anything else, but they are who they are.
They're uneducated, they're not immigrants, they're not trying to become Americans.
They are simply coming here looking for work.
They do it illegally.
They have just had their behavior sanctioned, just had it approved.
In fact, they are become the primary focus of both political parties when it comes to outreach for voters.
This is not about immigration.
This is not about assimilation.
It's not about them becoming part of our culture.
Washington isn't looking at it that way.
The president isn't looking at it that way, Carl Rove's not looking at it that way, Dingy Harry's not looking at it that way, Bill Frist is nobody in Washington is looking at it that way.
Well, I mean, when I say no, I'm talking about the Senate right now, the the House is a different ball of wax, and you do have some hardball characters over there, Tom Tancredo trying to do things.
But uh what what what this action today is and I've known this was coming, by the way, but it just it uh uh confirms for me that that this is not going to be solved.
This is a problem is not going to be solved.
We have just sanctioned this.
In fact, it's gonna get worse.
We think we've got 11 to 12 million illegals now.
That's gonna be nothing by the time we get to 2036 or 2030.
We're doing nothing to stem the tide, doing just the opposite.
And uh a bunch of members of the Senate, many of whom aren't going to be around to reap the rewards of their action today, uh uh have that as a bit of solace.
They don't have to worry about paying the price for this down the road at the polls because they're not going to be around.
Many of them are Jurassic Parks already anyway.
And uh so I it's it's just uh it's cowardice, it's fear, it's selfishness, and it is arrogance and it's elitism, and when you add all this up, and then you still hear those people call us nativists or racists or what have you.
Uh that that, you know, just and and we're accused of of being uncivil in the uh in the debate.
Anyway, I'm a little long here, folks.
Uh, let me take quick time out.
We'll be back.
Oh, fine that update in a second.
Don't go away.
Once again, the ditto cam is not out of focus.
If you are experiencing an out-of-focus ditto cam, go get some Windex and clean your computer monitor.
Uh, call a repair man or go buy a new one.
Remember, we're in New York, high atop the EIB building in Midtown Manhattan.
We have slightly different uh uh ditto cam camera angle today.
Uh we haven't moved it.
Uh trying to anticipate all of the questions.
All right, immigration proposals under discussion.
Let me add mine to the mix.
I want to call this proposal the limbaugh laws.
Here they are.
First, if you immigrate to the United States of America, you must speak the native language.
You have to be a professional or an investor.
We are not going to take unskilled workers.
You will not be allowed.
There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools, no special ballots for elections, no government business will be conducted in your native language.
Foreigners will not have the right to vote.
I don't care how long they are here, nor will they ever be allowed to hold political office.
According to the Limbaugh laws, if you're in our country, you cannot be a burden to taxpayers.
You are not entitled ever to welfare, to food stamps, or other government goodies.
You can come if you invest here, but it must be an amount equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.
If you don't have that amount of money, you can't come and invest.
You have to stay home.
If you do come and you want to buy land, okay, but we're going to restrict your options.
You will not be allowed to buy waterfront property in the United States.
That will be reserved for citizens naturally born in this country.
In fact, as a foreigner, you must relinquish individual rights to property.
These are the limbaugh laws.
Another thing, you don't have the right to protest when you come here.
You're allowed no demonstrations, you cannot wave a foreign flag, no political organizing, no bad mouthing our president or his policies, and you get sent home.
You're a foreigner.
You shut your mouth or you get out.
And if you come here illegally, you go straight to jail, and we're going to hunt you down until we find you.
I can imagine many of you think that the Limbaugh laws are pretty harsh.
I imagine today some of you are probably going, yeah, yeah.
Well, let me tell you this, folks.
Every one of the laws I just mentioned are actual laws of Mexico.
Today, I just read you Mexican immigration law.
That's how the Mexican government handles immigrants to their country.
Yet, Mexicans and others come here illegally.
They protest in our streets.
They get on our welfare program.
And we have members of the United States Senate.
Both parties doing handstands and backflips, going through every contortion possible to allow it to continue so that it doesn't make these people mad, resulting in votes against these linguini-spined populations.
This is more than a double standard.
It's more than a double standard.
It is an indication of just how gutless people in charge in this country are to protect the identity of this country.
Don't give me, I don't care about border security.
I know the ports deal notwithstanding.
They're not doing a thing to shore up the border because that might make somebody mad.
It's a good thing a whole lot of Arab voters in this country that a port deal would have gone through, too.
Back in just a moment.
I can't wait till we get around to fixing all the problems with illegal bootlegged DVDs and CDs using this immigration bill as the framework for that.
I can't wait for that, folks.
I'll explain when we come back.
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