Jake and Brad’s Excellent Invasion (Premium E301) Sample
In the cold and indifferent void of space, an interstellar object the size of Manhattan rushes towards our tiny planet. This coming November, Earth may be invaded by an advanced Extraterrestrial civilization, or it might just be a passing comet named 3I/Atlas. In Brad’s belated return to the pod, he and Jake brace our listeners for the imminent attack, with only Travis as humanity's last rational hope. With urgent warnings from an unlikely cadre of blind Bulgarian prophets, Christian doomsday accounts, and esteemed Harvard astrophysicists, could there be something more than conspiracy slop to this story? Probably not… but just in case, board the QAA mothership for Jake and Brad’s Excellent Invasion.
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Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Corey Klotz and Pontus Berghe. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com)
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QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
Welcome to the QAA podcast premium episode 301, Jake and Brad's excellent invasion.
As always, we are your host, Jake Rakotansky, Brad Abrahams, and Travis View.
And listeners, you can't see this, unfortunately, but I think like I used to do when I had a school project back in the day, I would spend most of the time like doodling something in the corner as opposed to the project.
Brad has created an incredible image, which is me and Brad as Bill and Ted sitting on the top of the, of course, the famous telephone booth.
In between us is Travis's little face peeking over our shoulders.
And Brad, it looks like you've actually even added Travis's hands, or was that supposed to be Rufus in the original?
Yeah, that's Rufus's hands there.
And Julian is just like kind of a confused head down in the corner.
He's obviously not here.
He's on Australia time.
Should we dox that he's in Australia?
We don't have to say that.
Julian's in another country and he's on a much different time zone than us.
So he could have not could not make it for this excellent invasion episode.
But folks, we're back.
And this time with some good news.
For those of us buckling under the crushing weight of reality, well, we might get an eternal reprieve in the form of an alien invasion.
Scheduled for November 2025.
Rules and regulations apply.
The mothership is back.
Or has it arrived for the first time?
Unclear.
Either way, a not insignificant amount of people, including a Harvard Astronomy Department chair, believe that a craft of intelligent origin has entered our solar system and is taking a scenic tour of the planets before hiding behind our sun, gathering energy, and preparing for a full-scale invasion.
So just in case you were worried about having to pay that easy pass ticket because you forgot to switch the fucking beeper on or you didn't hold the fucking thing at the right angle against your windshield, fret not because this November, the aliens are picking up the tab.
Yeah, and I'm happy to be back after painfully long absence.
Been navigating some highs and lows in my life, which have made my usual reporting for the pod very difficult.
But yeah, hoping to be back more often now and can't think of a better atmospheric reentry than an alien invasion conspiracy app co-written with Jake and mercilessly foisted upon Travis.
I cannot.
Yeah, I'm already burning up.
Travis, where do you stand on aliens?
What's your official, what's the official Travis view view?
You know, it's like, I've always been really super fascinated by this because this is one of those, I don't know if you, some sort of, I guess, more esoteric beliefs that you can't dismiss out of hand.
You know, it's like just because like we know that intelligent life exists in the universe, we have a sample size of one.
So, you know, you can't rule out the possibility that it's greater than one.
And you can't rule out the possibility that, you know, just as we take an interest in the possibility of life elsewhere, that possible other life would take an interest in us.
So it's one of those beliefs that you could be, you know, a perfectly secular, perfectly naturalistic worldview is compatible with the, I guess, the, at least the idea, the openness that we're not alone in the universe.
So, I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's one of those things that like, you know, I don't really believe that we've been visited or that kind of thing, but it's one of those things that I don't think you can dismiss out of hand.
So any given claim, at least is list worthy of consideration.
We're going to ask you that question again at the end of this episode.
If you think we've never been visited.
Okay.
Well, and you know, as my father used to say, if it's just us out here, that's an awful waste of space.
I'm kidding.
My dad didn't say that.
That's from Contact, I think.
Brad, what's your favorite alien invasion movie?
Wow.
Favorite alien invasion.
Well, actually, I'll just say it's Earth Girls Are Easy.
It's an invasion of a sort.
Yeah.
That is, that is fun.
Man, yeah.
Julie Brown.
She's very, very funny.
Exactly.
Travis, do you have a favorite?
Do you have a favorite alien invasion movie?
I've got a couple.
This is an obvious one, but man, like I watch Independence Day maybe every year.
It's big and it's dumb and it's loud, but I don't know.
There's just something very, very satisfying about it.
Well, and what's funny, it's funny that you mentioned Independence Day because the theory that we're going to sort of, well, not the theory, but the event that we're sort of honing in on.
If this thing is an alien craft, it would be the type from Independence Day that's like the size of an entire city.
I believe it's close to the size of Manhattan.
This interstellar object that we're going to be talking about.
I got to say, for my part, I think Signs by M-Night's probably my favorite alien invasion movie.
I also loved Independence Day.
I loved Mars attacks when I was growing up.
I really, really thought Mars attacks was really fun.
But this is one of my favorite genres.
I will watch anything.
I will watch Extinction with Michael Pena on Netflix like more than once.
I will watch.
There was another like horrible.
I'll watch any alien invasion movie basically because I want to see like, okay, what do the aliens look like?
What are the shit?
What kind of capabilities do they have?
What's it going to look like when we try to fight them?
You know, I think all sorts of things that are being kind of contemplated now as we look at this, what would you call it, Brad?
It's not quite a comet.
It's not quite an asteroid, it's...
You know, speaking of which, there is a brand new alien invasion movie came out this year with Ice Cube, a new adaptation of War of the Worlds, getting absolutely dismal reviews.
Oh, boy.
It got 3% on Rotten Tomatoes.
People have been asking us to watch it and talk about it.
Maybe we will.
I love the Tom Cruise War of the Worlds.
Yeah, this one looks really, really atrocious.
Yeah, this one looks like War of the Worlds meets unfriended.
I can't think of a more horrible pitch.
Three-Eye Atlas.
Three-Eye Atlas.
It's been gliding through the cold void between the stars for millions of silent years.
Most of its journey has been uneventful, with a slow ballet of distant galaxies wheeling across its view.
It has passed other worlds before.
Dim, frozen spheres and giant balls of gas that tug at it weakly before letting go.
Uneventful until it entered the outer bands of a certain solar system eight millennia ago.
And now, in our year of 2025, the faint warmth of a yellow star has begun to caress its surface, waking it from its slumber.
A narrow disk of planets circles this star, with the third one out glowing a pale blue.
Just a pinprick of light for now.
The object's path seems oddly deliberate.
It will skim past Venus, graze Mars, and sweep close to Jupiter.
Each pass offers a chance to slow down, maybe drop something, before vanishing behind the sun, unseen.
And then, this November, it will emerge again, with the blue planet, our planet, in its reach.
The name it's been given is Three Eye Atlas.
It may just be a comet, or it may be the start of an alien invasion.
So, just a month and a half ago on July 1st, an automated telescope in Chile detected what seemed like a new comet heading toward our inner solar system, just about to pass Jupiter.
They named it 3-Eye Atlas.
From the start, she wasn't like the other comets.
Most exciting is that Atlas is interstellar, meaning it originates from outside the solar system, unbound by orbital rotation.
In fact, it's just the third of such objects we've detected so far.
It's also huge.
At 7 to 15 miles or 11 to 24 kilometers in diameter, it's roughly the size of Manhattan, making it the largest interstellar object ever observed.
You've been listening to a sample of a premium episode of the QAA podcast.
For access to the full episode, as well as all past premium episodes and all of our podcast miniseries, go to patreon.com/slash QAA.
Travis, why is that such a good deal?
Well, Jake, you get hundreds of additional episodes of the QAA podcast for just $5 per month.
For that very low price, you get access to over 200 premium episodes, plus all of our miniseries.
That includes 10 episodes of Man Clan with Julian and Annie, 10 episodes of Perverse with Julian and Liv, 10 episodes of The Spectral Voyager with Jake and Brad, plus 20 episodes of Trickle Down with me, Travis View.
It's a bounty of content and the best deal in podcasting.
Travis, for once, I agree with you.
And I also agree that people could subscribe by going to patreon.com/slash QAA.
Well, that's not an opinion, it's a fact.
You're so right, Jake.
We love and appreciate all of our listeners.
Yes, we do.
And Travis is actually crying right now, I think, out of gratitude, maybe?
