Cursed McDonald’s humiliation rituals, secret messages sent through a filet-o-fish, Elon posting a QAnon News Network meme, UFO disclosure in congress, and Tucker Carlson being attacked by a demon in his sleep. Sit down and eat, children.
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Editing by Corey Klotz. Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe, Nick Sena, Jake Rockatansky. Theme Vocals by THEY/LIVE (https://instagram.com/theyylivve / https://sptfy.com/QrDm). Cover Art by Pedro Correa: (https://pedrocorrea.com)
https://qaapodcast.com
QAA was known as the QAnon Anonymous podcast.
As always, we are your hosts, Jake Rokitansky, Julian Fields, Dave Aker, and Travis View.
In the main cabin of the private jet, the men sit around a four-seat table overseen by a single menacing porthole, black as soot, the unblinking eye of a long-dead god.
McDonald's food items are strewn across the lacquered wood table surface.
For our past and future president, a Filet-O-Fish, a Big Mac, large fries, a bottle of what looks like a sick man's piss, but is probably Fanta Orange Zero.
For Elon Musk, the wealthiest man in the world, a quarter pounder, 10 chicken nuggets, large fries.
Across the table from them, the president's son grins, holding up his french fries as if they were a prized toy.
Leaning over this imbecile seat like a porcine familiar is Mike Johnson, Louisiana Congressman, semen retention warrior, and Speaker of the House.
The last man present is Robert Francis Kennedy Jr., the unwanted descendant of a political dynasty marred in corruption, violence, and tragedy.
If Trump is the orange man, Kennedy is a reddish ochre, somewhere between a penny and a bottle of cognac.
In his hands, the freshly opened container of a quarter pounder.
He too ordered some nuggies and large fries, along with a classic coke in a plastic bottle.
Of all the faces in the picture, RFK Jr.'s is the most sheepish.
The tableau of influential political figures is a grotesque, where a century ago there would have been elegant paint strokes, here there is only the low-light compression artifacts of a smartphone camera.
The men are flying back from the ultimate fighting championship in Madison Square Garden, where they hung out with such luminaries as Kid Rock, Dana White, Vivek Ramaswamy, and future director of national intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
If you haven't listened to it yet, we have a great two-part episode about her membership in a Hare Krishna-adjacent Hawaiian surfer cult and her links to Indian fascist groups.
She's not the only one in Trump's entourage who's earned a position in his cabinet.
Ramaswamy and Musk are heading something called the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, a play on a dog meme turned crypto coin that Elon is known for shilling.
This Presidential Advisory Commission may well end up being a two-person toddler pram shaped like a car.
They'll each get a little plastic driving wheel to make them feel like they're steering something.
Matt Gaetz is Trump's nominee for Attorney General, which might help him cover up his drug and sex orgies with minors, just as long as he doesn't use Venmo to pay for them with his privacy settings set to public.
I was amused by this Elon Musk tweet about Gaetz.
Matt Gaetz has three critical assets that are needed for the AG role.
A big brain, a spine of steel, and an axe to grind.
He is the Judge Dredd America needs to clean up a corrupt system and put powerful bad actors in prison.
Gates will be our hammer of justice.
When I watch Judge Dredd, my takeaway is, like, something like Matt Gates needs to be AG. They have to be lying to themselves.
Like, you can't look at Matt Gates and be like, Judge, this is our Judge Dredd.
This is a serious man.
Yeah.
It's just, it's, come on, it's laughable.
I mean, a big brain, I think he's confusing that he has like a big skull with a brain.
And a spine of steel, I don't know, man.
He seems like a slumpy rich kid to me.
Yeah, he seems like a little squealer too.
I do believe he has an axe to grind because people are literally basically, you know, trying to condemn him for, you know, doing a variety of sex crimes.
What do you think, Travis, of this Hammer of Justice reference?
Isn't that the little QAnon coded?
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to talk about this later.
But yeah, yeah, this idea that all of a sudden, you know, like Elon Musk keeps using these phrases like hammer of justice that, you know, at the very least express the same kind of like retribution sentiments as the QAnon community.
This tweet is also what Elon Musk was saying about like Jeffrey Epstein probably five years ago.
Yeah, I do wonder, because I think Trump has now admitted that he might not get Gates through the Senate as a nominee.
And Gates has already quit Congress so that he isn't essentially, you know, under the Ethics Committee jurisdiction, which would force them to reveal the case against him.
And there's been a bunch of begging to, like, not show this to the public, you know, whatever this dossier is against him.
So if he doesn't get in through Trump and he also quit Congress, like...
This man just might end up a civilian with a massive sex crime dossier in a few months.
Yeah, but more likely, if we're being realistic, of a successful YouTube or Rumble channel.
Yes, exactly.
He'll be a book, maybe.
It'll be fine, I'm sure, for him.
Yeah, if Charlie Kirk can do it.
Yeah, another guy with a massive dome.
Yeah, it means that maybe this is a time for guys with little pinhole eyes that are recessed into their big heads.
Oh, yeah.
Awesome.
Continuing, our future defense secretary may well be Pete Hegseth, a veteran with a long history of defending torture and war crimes who's been a Fox News pundit since 2014. He once served on, like, a platoon in Guantanamo Bay, which is very funny, the idea of, like...
Yeah, we're out there fighting guys who have hoods over their heads and are in handcuffs and we're waterboarding all day.
What a good fight we're living through.
But yeah, no, he's awful and has terrible opinions.
But Liv, as our resident grand strategy video game nerd, could you explain this Dose Vault tattoo?
Oh, that's real grim.
Yeah, this is like a guy who is at the level of like...
Theological understanding level of not knowing the difference between a Catholic and a Protestant.
Yeah, that is really unfortunate.
I guess I didn't realize this was going to be a Hearts of Iron 4 roleplay presidency, although given that Elon Musk was posting hypervoria memes, which is a thing that came from a Hearts of Iron 4 mod, that is our future now.
It's people who load up Mussolini in a World War II grand strategy simulator and are like, I'll do the invasion of Albania properly.
I mean, he has openly stated that he wants a holy war to be waged by the United States and wants, like, essentially a new crusade.
So I do think he is that kind of weird type of pill that would make you get a Deus volt tattoo, which, by the way, has no real tangible history as, like, a symbol except for among these weird grand strategy nerds, right?
Yeah, it's weird.
I think Dayswild was used during the Crusades, was it not?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, recent fucking history.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not...
Like, it's a political schism that no longer exists.
It's like, what?
Do you want to invade Jerusalem?
Like, is it...
It doesn't really...
Yeah, it's very confusing.
You see why, like, weird, like, LARPers who play Crusader Kings 3 love Dayswild?
Because they're like, oh, we can replicate that political schism and, like, enforce Christian supremacy.
But it's like, that's not really...
I don't really know what it means to signify other than being like a trad cat, I guess.
Well, he is also a Zionist, so he probably just thinks of Israel as part of the coalition that gets to take Jerusalem.
Although including Jewish people in your crusade is a little bit ahistorical.
I don't know if God would have willed this one.
The God you're dreaming up here, invoking from the Crusades, would have willed this sort of geopolitical situation.
Bottom line, dumb as rocks.
Speaking of dumb as rocks, another recent appointee is Dr. Mehmet Oz, a scammy TV doctor with a long history of shady practices and kook beliefs.
For example, he promoted hydroxychloroquine repeatedly at the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic while owning stock in two different companies that manufacture and distribute the drug.
He is probably going to be the next administrator for the United States Centers of Medicare and Medicaid Services.
So very much like a TV cabinet that we're assembling here.
It is so interesting how, like, people talk about how in the Democratic Party you fail upward.
But, like, we're seeing levels of failing upward that have never been seen before with this Republican cabinet.
I couldn't agree more.
Which brings us to Dr. Oz's future colleague, RFK Jr., who's been promised the role of Secretary of Health and Human Services.
His slogan, Make America Healthy Again, is a bit of a smokescreen for the many conspiritual beliefs he holds.
But look at him now, ritualistically humiliated by Trump, forced to eat nuggies and drink Coca-Cola in a giant chemtrail machine in the sky.
LAUGHTER A one-time environmental activist cowed by a guy who wants to delete the EPA. A passionate health nut eating seed-oiled fried fast food and drinking corn syrup.
And I know it's useless and trite to point out that guys like him are hypocrites, but in this case, it's just so flagrant that I'm going to make a little exception.
Just a week ago, RFK Jr. was on a podcast saying about Trump Force One, quote, campaign food is always bad, but the food that goes onto that airplane is just poison.
Oh, that's awesome.
It's so much funnier that he does actually hate McDonald's so much, and he's being forced to eat it.
I would love to have been a fly on the wall as he opened that Big Mac box, and he's like, nah, there's a third slice of bread that goes in the middle of the sandwich.
There's a third bun.
What is this?
Do you take it?
Separate, or do you eat that third bun alongside the sandwich?
I think you're basically a combination of Alex Jones and RFK Jr. there.
Well, I haven't heard RFK Jr. in a while, and my throat's already pretty phlegmy, so I think I'm maybe going a little bit too hard, but...
I'm also mystified by the third bun, I will say.
Yeah, although it's fucked up because I saw that picture and I was like, that is my order.
That is what I get.
Whether it's a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder, interchangeable.
Quarter Pounder, 10-piece nuggets, fries, and a Coke.
I will say that they clearly got to choose what they have because they all have different orders.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he went for the 10 Nuggets.
He went for the 10 Nuggets.
On top of the Quarter Pounder and a classic Coke, which is, you know, against everything he believes in.
I'll bet Trump was like, you gotta try the nuggets.
Robert and Bobby, you gotta try the nuggets.
If you're gonna get the Quarter Pounder, you gotta get nuggets.
The McNugget, it's been through a lot of changes.
It used to be made out of pink slime, like Ghostbusters 2 under the city, but now they're all white meat, real chicken, and you gotta try them.
And you gotta get sweet and sour sauce unless they forget it, which they usually do.
He did.
Actually, Musk has sweet and sour in barbecue, but Bobby seems to have no sauce, which is even more descriptive.
That is my quiz.
How the fuck are you eating nuggets with no dipping sauce?
That's fucked up.
Yeah, and fries.
Because you know, and I mentioned this on Twitter, which is actually a joke that I stole from my wife.
That McDonald's, by the time it gets to that table on a plane...
It's ice cold.
There's no way.
I could believe they'd have these little heating boxes that they transported in.
They probably do.
For the president of the United States, all McDonald's transported very warm.
I'm sure Trump is anal about that because it's like, what about the germs?
It needs to be held in a place.
The germs will not develop.
That'd be funny if he was a super anal guy about the heat of his McDonald's, because I'm not.
100%.
If I get McDonald's, I'm like, oh, these fries are fucking cold.
Can't put them in the microwave.
That ruins them.
You can try to do the oven, but then you're waiting for another 10 to 15 minutes while it heats up and you put it in and stuff.
I'm just going to eat the McDonald's cold.
It's, you know...
In 2020, RFK Jr. reposted an article accusing the fast food industry of using Big Tobacco's playbook and calling for soda taxes and restrictions on junk food marketing to kids.
He called McDonald's ads racist and accused them of, quote, I honestly don't even disagree that much with Robert here, which is what makes his subservience to Trump even funnier.
The man has betrayed his entire belief system to ride the coattails of a walking piece of junk food.
Extremely cucked behavior.
This is the Kennedy dynasty.
It's a realization.
They're so cursed.
I don't know who did what really evil thing in Prohibition period in that family, but we're seeing the fruits of it right now.
They're calling it the magic nugget.
It managed to penetrate RFK's brain, and then also a path through his liver, and it also killed his driver.
There's plenty of other appointees like Doug Burgum and little Marco Rubio, none of which bode well for the next four years.
But we are not here to go through every single dumbass involved in what promises to be a smash and grab by the already disgustingly rich elites.
Plus, who knows how many of them will be yeeted by Trump in the first year of his second term.
I mean, some of them are not even going to have their appointment confirmed.
I mean, do you remember Bannon and Flynn being in government?
Yeah, it's a very brief period in history.
No, we are here to enjoy another episode of the QAA podcast.
And boy, are we cooking with gas today.
First, I'll be uncovering the secret signals Trump is sending through his Filet-O-Fish.
Then Travis is going to treat us to a QAnon meme promoted by Elon Musk and check out how QAnon followers are interpreting it.
This will be followed by a live segment on our Pilled Lawmakers obsession with UFO disclosure.
And finally, Jake will lead us down something that sounds like a Jake story in the first place.
Tucker Carlson claims he's been attacked by a demon in his sleep.
So, truly delicious stuff.
A smorgasbord of tasty entrees.
So let's get right into it.
At the top of the episode, I described a photograph taken on Donald's private jet, Trump Force One, which that actually makes it even funnier, is that it's like some random person walked by and is like, oh, walking by the cool kids table.
And RFK Jr. got caught literally in the act.
Like, it's not like a staged photo that Trump put out.
He literally was like, please, God, let nobody walk by with a smartphone that is going to post it directly to Twitter.
That's exactly what happened.
I love that.
To many, this photo was proof that we are ruled by mutants who deserve the guillotine.
But to others, it was proof that the storm is coming, which I guess is just a different form of guillotines and hangings.
This was first brought to my attention by a friend of the show, Poker and Politics, on the platform known as X, and it led me down a very funny and pathetic rabbit hole.
This thread all started with a post by Vincent Kennedy, a massive QAnon account.
I think it's like nearly half a million followers.
So Vincent Kennedy said, Why is no one talking about this?
And it's the photo, but they're focusing on the fact that Trump has a Filet-O-Fish in front of him.
I'm talking about it.
I'm talking about it all day.
It's well known that he likes that sandwich.
Yeah, there's an article about how he orders two Filet-O-Fish and, like, two Big Macs and a chocolate milkshake.
So this is, like, literally documented by the MSM. Of course, doesn't matter, you know.
But, I mean, in this instance, I think that he's calling attention to, I mean, like, there are multiple interpretations.
One of them, I don't know if you can get to, the fact that the box is like a Tiffany blue box.
Yes, yes.
Which is a reference to the box that Melania Trump was holding, which she gave to the Obamas, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's also a reference to the Kennedys, because Jackie was a fan of Tiffany.
Right.
And it's got 2.3 million views, plenty of engagement.
The replies were incredible.
Lots of numerology, of course.
So we'll start with WeTheAnon17.com.
OMG, Filet-O-Fish equals 109. The Titanic equals 109, ship emoji, double exclamation point emoji.
McDonald's equals 85. Storm equals 85. Remember this guy?
A victim at Trump's rally in Butler, 127 days ago.
My turn equals 127. Two lightning bolts.
Scare event is coming in hot.
Titanic hit the iceberg at 1140 p.m.
Barton down the hatches, ship emoji, storm emoji.
First of all, he writes, Barton down the hatches instead of batten down the hatches, which I fucking love.
And second of all, this is the man who was fucking murdered at the Trump rally during the first assassination attempt, holding the smallest fish I've ever seen.
And he's very proud about it.
I mean, you know, it's kind of tragic.
There's two lightning bolts.
My turn equals 127, two lightning bolts.
I know Nazis use that as like an SS. No, I don't think this is an SS thing.
Storm?
I think it's...
Probably like maybe booms or storms or lightning.
I don't know.
I mean, the whole thing is a mess.
Like, I cannot...
It's schizophrenic.
This is some Tommy Numbers level shit.
And for no reason just connecting it to this photo because it's raining in the photo.
There's water behind the guy and it's a photo of the guy who was...
They probably don't even believe he was actually murdered or they think he's a clone or I don't even fucking know what they think about this poor guy who, you know, was the recipient of the bullet meant for Trump, essentially.
Yeah.
Man, it's so cool how they're doing it on Twitter now instead of like 8kun.
Yeah, no, this is full on on Twitter.
And actually, to add to this whole thing, this was Robert Kennedy Jr. posting the photo of the guy who was murdered.
So it's like, I don't know, in their brain this probably set off like every fucking layer of like weird melted numerology crap.
Mm-hmm.
Some people in the replies were simply confusing jokes with esoteric information.
So this is a person who said, have you seen this, Vincent Crypt 46?
And it's a post by someone else that says, this 1721 painting by Dietz Knutzen predicted the Trump-Elon-RFK McDonald's dinner.
And this, of course, this is an AI-generated, it's a reverse-generated painting based on the photo.
Yeah.
They can't even catch their own jokes.
Amazing.
There was also this exchange between a cute-pilled poster and a more garden-variety-pilled poster.
I think it's pretty characteristic of the schism occurring right now among MAGA's biggest space cadets.
So all my 17s with popcorn emoji posts.
Wait, wait, wait.
Could they be telling us that they are going to change McDonald's?
Forget RFK's face here.
Forget the Okay, so it was a woman walking by, first of all, and one of the boxes is absolutely open.
It's RFK Juniors.
What if the message is bigger?
What if they're making McD's change all of their recipes and their food to contains healthier things, including taking all the sugar out of the breads and the meats?
I had a quarter-pounder meal in England at the McDonald's there, completely different.
Even the ketchup wasn't as sweet.
It was still good, but I left feeling decent instead of like death warmed over.
Truth Warrior responds, How silly, everyone grasping at straws like this.
If they want to change McDonald's and make it better, all they have to do is say it.
No need for cryptic hints on something like that.
Damn.
All My Seventeens responds, No need for cryptic hints?
That is freaking hysterically funny.
What the fuck do you think we've been looking at for seven years?
I... That's an attack on this person's identity.
No looking for cryptic hints.
This is what I fucking live for.
This is what gets me up in the morning, looking for cryptic hints.
For the past decade of my life, all I've been doing is looking for cryptic hints.
Fuck you!
Telling someone that gravity isn't real or something, it's like, I can't even comprehend believing that.
It's just so funny because it's such a good cell phone.
It's like, I've been doing this for seven years.
If what you say is true, what have I been doing?
Every atom in my body is different than it was seven years ago.
This is an entire human cycle.
Some were less enthused by the presence of McDonald's.
Pissed-off Patriot 010779 says, We started this to protect the children.
I won't ever eat there.
Oh.
This confused me until I read another reply by TimeWarp1717.
Why do you think everyone is sick?
Thermometer emoji.
This is from 2014. Thinking emoji.
And it's a post of just like a screen cap of a supposed article.
Jake, could you read this?
Human flesh found in McDonald's meat.
Human meat, found in McDonald's Meat Factory.
Previously we brought you a report that detailed disturbing audio admissions by a man that claimed McDonald's uses human meat as a filler in their 100% beef hamburgers, and the fact that McDonald's has been accused of using worm meat Fillers.
Now inspectors have allegedly found human meat and horse meat in the freezers of an Oklahoma City McDonald's meat factory.
Human meat was also recovered in several trucks that were on their way to deliver the patties to the restaurants.
According to various reports, authorities have inspected factories and restaurants across the country and have found human meat in 90% of the locations.
Horse meat was found in 65% of the locations.
FBI agent Lloyd Harrison told Hulzer Reports.
The worst.
Part of it is that it's not only human meat, it's child meat.
The body parts were found across the US factories and were deemed too small to be adult body parts.
This is truly horrible.
I love that the article is like they've clicked the button in Microsoft Word that centers all the text.
And then this is just like a pile of beef chuck posted at the bottom of it.
I like the idea of someone reading that who's like, I hope I'm in one of the 10% locations at least.
Yeah, right.
Hey, you know what?
I would roll the dice.
One in ten chance, that's not that bad.
Maybe you get, like, non-human meat.
So the Q community is torn.
Either Trump is signaling with a Filet-O-Fish, or they're all eating babies.
Yeah.
You know what?
It's funny.
I remember when we went to the very first Q rally, Washington, D.C., a lifetime ago, 2019, before the pandemic, one of the people I spoke to who attended that rally was telling me about how they believed that, they told me a lot of things, but this woman told me that they sincerely they told me a lot of things, but this woman told me that they sincerely believed that human
And furthermore, that sign outside that says billions and billions served was not an indication of how many people were served hamburgers from McDonald's, but rather how many people were served through McDonald's as human meat.
It's tricky.
Facts.
See, they're allowed to do it because they told you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so cool how it's all movies.
Because it's just, yeah, it's oil and green, right?
Right, yeah.
To serve man.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
I expect this kind of baking to continue on X now that it's a free-for-all and the pesky censors are gone.
Even Travis View keeps promoting Blue Sky, which I refuse to go on.
It's nice.
It's better.
It's good.
I might be changing my mind about it.
I don't know.
Now that there's millions of people on it, I don't know.
Pathetic.
Pathetic, folks.
I think I'm just going to keep posting more on TikTok.
I think I'm going to delete Twitter.
I think I'm not going to do Blue Sky.
I think I'm going to become a TikTok guy.
Do the dance, Jake.
Do the dance.
It won't be me.
You'll never see my face on TikTok, but you will see 30-second to minute-long video game videos that I take.
So it's going to be four years of divining esoteric truth from the most banal and grotesque images possible.
Speaking of banal and grotesque, Travis?
Elon Musk amplified QAnon yet again.
So this time it was 12 days after the election on November 17th.
And this one was an illustrated image of Pepe the Frog as a news anchor behind a desk.
And it was showing the letters QNN in the top left corner, presumably short for QAnon News Network.
And just to drive home that this is an image created by or directed towards the QAnon community, the Pepe the Frog news anchor has this coffee mug bearing the QAnon slogan WWG1WGA.
So definitely a QAnon image.
Now, this particular meme was in reaction to the fact that Donald Trump nominated Gates to be the Attorney General and Tulsi Gabbard nominated Director of National Intelligence.
And these nominations were objected to by former National Security Advisor and consistent regime change advocate John Bolton.
So, the QNN image that Elon Musk posted showed an image of Bolton labeling him a non-friend, and the chyron in the image says, in reference to Bolton, Old walrus angry at Gates' gabbard pics, super-duper hiney sniffer fears era of peace will destroy the deep state.
I hate Bolton, so that's...
I will give them that.
Fuck Bolton.
Fair enough.
I mean, the thing is that it's like, of course, of course, Bolton's a fucking monster.
But the implication here is that, like, Gates and Gabbards are good picks because a bad person objects to them.
Which is just childish reasoning.
These people just are looking for reactions and objections to someone to make mad.
And that's evidence that they're on the right track.
But something can be bad even if a different bad person objects to it.
Honestly, if McDonald's is really looking for people to make into burgers, I would recommend all of the above.
Everyone mentioned here.
The friend thing is just beyond my understanding.
It's obviously insanely infantile on purpose, where they can't spell things or construct sentences properly.
Then you look at the friend account, and it's a 37-year-old divorced dad.
And he's like, sorry friends, couldn't post recently, had a little bit of trouble paying my alimony.
It's like, what is the point of this?
Why are we doing this?
I mean, it's also definitely a thing in the crypto community and the extremely online younger reactionary crowd.
So, fun.
So, I mean, here's why I'm a little, I guess, I don't want to say distressed, but just a little confused.
So here's Elon Musk yet again amplifying QAnon.
And, of course, like I mentioned, Elon has also been saying things that echo, like, important concepts in the QAnon narrative.
For example, Musk keeps posting about how the hammer of justice is coming.
He also posts to, directed towards users of X, that quote, you are the media now, which is like one synonym away from the phrase repeated a bunch of Q drops, you are the news now.
And the fact that both Trump and Musk are amplifying QAnon has been noticed by the QAnon community.
One QAnon promoter on X said this.
A couple months ago, Trump was retweeting nothing can stop what is coming, Q memes, and now his new right hand man, Elon Musk, is straight up posting Q memes himself and telling people like Adam Schiff that the hammer of justice is coming.
The crazy Q people are starting to look pretty smart, no?
That's definitely what's going on.
That's definitely what I've taken away from this, too.
They're posting memes.
Guys, we've arrived.
The memes are getting delivered.
They are.
I mean, we're still stuck in this, like, meme warfare thing.
Shit.
Like, eight years later, like, it's still like, has anybody been watching?
They've loaded up the meme cannon and they are firing it.
Yeah, this is, like, the biggest meme presidency, the biggest meme cabinet.
We are in that era.
This is the ruling class.
So they're right to be excited, I guess.
Their memes are getting airtime from big, influential people.
Elon Musk is undoubtedly the biggest account that's ever posted a...
I mean, yeah, he must be.
He's got like 200 million followers.
Absolutely!
Maybe the Minecraft guy?
Notch was also pretty big.
Elon's bigger though.
He has to be the most prominent figure to just overtly post QAnon memes.
He's the richest man in the world and the most followed man on Twitter.
And he owns the platform.
And he's doing his best to integrate himself into this new administration in every way he can.
He is!
He's there!
He's on the plane!
He's eating the McDonald's!
He's in the administration!
He's obviously, like I said, the most influential and powerful private citizen in the world.
Posting QAnon memes.
That's because, like I said, it's a smash and grab.
Every single rich person is in because they're gonna get their shit deregulated.
Dana White.
Elon Musk.
They want to control the appointees that will make them more money and deregulate the industries that they participate in so they can make better profits.
Not only that, I mean, we talk about, like, you know, his Department of Governmental Efficiency, Doge.
It's, you know, it's kind of fake and it's, like, private, actually, and it's not really technically a department.
But part of it is the fact that he's doing kind of like a pump of the Doge meme coins.
Yes.
And this is kind of the effect of this one, too.
The effect of him posting the QNN meme was that there was also a QNN meme coin, which got pumped immediately after he posted this.
And rugged.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, it's crazy that he has the power to just pump whatever bullshit, flimsy asset that he wants with a single post and then make people perhaps in the know or people who are fast enough to make a little bit of money very quickly before it vanishes into nothing.
I mean, that's a significant amount of influence.
You know what he can has as well, Travis?
What's that?
He can has cheeseburger.
Oh my god.
Yeah, that's...
You have $10 billion stolen from average consumers from the I can has cheeseburger coin last week because of Elon.
It's remarkable how many ways people like crypto pros are inventing to scam people just out of completely nothing.
I mean, is there an easier scam than crypto-rugging QAnon followers?
Yeah.
That's like, that is truly bottom of the barrel.
Yeah, that's, yeah.
I think another part of the Department of Government and Efficiency, the fact that it's kind of fake, is that, like, Elon can both be a private citizen and a representative of the American state.
Like, interchangeably, there's kind of plausible deniability, which gives him some sort of diplomatic authority.
But then also he can be like, no, I'm just, it's not actually a real government...
like office.
It's not actually meant to do anything.
I know.
I feel like this is really is reeling into the fact that like, you know, you can make illusions real.
You can LARP your way into reality.
So, yeah, in some ways he can sort of like LARP as a government official, a government representative, someone who's really has, you know, a great, great deal of say.
But at the same time, so there's nothing like legally binding about whatever the Doge department produces.
Also, you know what else you can't do?
You can't FOIA wherever the fuck is going on inside of Doge because it's not really a part of the executive branch, not in reality.
So it's kind of like having it both ways.
All of this is literally just a smokescreen for him being present when Trump is going to appoint the regulators for his industries.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The other thing that's crazy about Elon, you know, amplifying this QAnon meme is the degree to which, like, the mainstream media outlets didn't think it was worth commenting on.
So when Elon Musk posted that Fashwave video that referenced Q like a day before the election, there was a lot of reporting about it.
Like, MSNBC News ran an opinion piece that said, Elon Musk's QAnon signaling is a disturbing new low.
And then the Washington Post ran this more, like, straight news story that was headlined, Elon Musk promotes video referencing QAnon in support of Trump.
And then the New Republic reported on it by saying, Elon Musk kicks off election day by going full QAnon.
But this more recent and arguably like more explicit nod to the QAnon community wasn't reported on by any of those outlets or as far as I can tell, any mainstream outlets.
There's like some people who like individual reporters who posted about it on like Blue Sky or Twitter report on it.
But generally, it's like it's like the whole MSM, you know, industry outlets.
They kind of shrug their shoulders.
One level I get why you want to keep reporting.
He did it again.
That gets a little tiring if they keep publishing this stuff.
But at the same time, I feel like it's worth commenting on that, again, someone with his reach and his influence and his wealth is amplifying content from an online extremist movement.
It's just hard to make article after article saying, guy posts meme, you know?
I mean, and that's kind of the gambit too, right?
They want it to be ridiculous and hard to report on.
I suppose, yeah, that's the effect.
But like, I mean, I've commented on this before, but if like major Democratic Party officials or major Democratic Party donors kept posting like Posadas memes, you know, if like fucking, if like Joe Biden and like Michael Bloomberg were talking about how some sort of like Argentinian Trotskyite UFO utopia, I think people would comment on that a lot.
That would get a lot of attention, like repeatedly.
And I don't understand...
And, like, that arguably has been much less destructive, you know, to the United States than QAnon.
So I don't get, like, exactly why so many people don't think it's worth focusing.
I know there's a lot going on.
I know that resources are strained.
But I think it's worth, you know, at least questioning why Elon Musk is so interested in repeatedly boosting these Pizzagate and QAnon memes.
I do not believe that.
I think that the media should keep dropping the ball so we can have a job.
Hmm.
I don't know.
I'm a little bit sick of covering Guypost's meme.
Sorry, buddy.
Remember when this podcast, we got to do the thing of like, there's a lot of different types of QAnon out there in the world historically.
I feel like that was so much more fun.
That was a lot of fun.
I love doing like, QAnon has existed in different interesting ways before now.
Here are some of the ways.
Now it's just like big forehead...
Attorney General, also a pedophile.
McDonald's on the plane with the president.
Where we go one, we go all Pepe meme.
It sucks.
I can see in Travis's face the frustration.
We're never going to survive these.
Are you fucking kidding?
It's not even January 20th yet and we're already breaking down.
What are we going to look like in four years?
I'm going to look like a fucking meme coin at that point.
You'll be buying and selling me, shorting me, dumping me, pumping me.
I would love to pump you.
Jake, may I interest you in some UFOs to calm you?
Please, tell me they're real and tell me they're on the offensive.
I, in fact, have bad news for you.
Please, please.
Live.
Take us away.
Now that we live in QAnon world again, I'm sure all of our American audience is bracing for all of the very scary things that a second Trump admin might do.
But what you all may have been focusing on less are all the very stupid, absurd, and generally pretty harmless things that it might also bring.
Possibly like RFK Jr. trying to use the Department of Health to open an investigation on the validity of germ theory.
Or Donald Trump sending an executive order that requires the Krusty Krab to declassify their secret Krabby Patty formula.
While the possibilities for stupid, silly stuff in the next four years are endless, this segment will be about a continuation of an older, stupid, silly Trump admin decision that has bled over from his first term in office.
In 2020, Trump passed a $2.3 billion COVID relief bill called the CARES Act, which made it through both a Republican Senate and a Democrat-controlled House.
One little, insignificant detail tucked into this massive bill was a provision that required the Pentagon to investigate over 100 UFO sightings, that is, over 100 instances of generally American military pilots seeing objects that they were unable to identify.
The bill gave these UFO sightings the name Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, or UAPs, a very SCP Foundation-ass title for them that seems to have been increasingly adopted in the past decade.
Yet this bill is not the first instance of the Pentagon investing UFOs.
Perhaps the most recent noteworthy example of UFOs being supposedly treated seriously by the American state comes from an article in 2017 by the New York Times that contained accounts by multiple Navy pilots who observed a so-called 40-foot-long Tic Tac off the coast of California in 2004 after being sent off to observe a blip in the radar of USS Princeton.
This article came alongside an inside scoop into a real program at the Pentagon made to assess these and other UFO sightings.
According to the pilot testimony, the object rapidly descended towards the sea, hovering above the ocean and causing a visible disturbance in it.
To quote from the article, The craft was jumping around erratically, staying over the wave disturbance but not moving in any specific direction, Commander Fravor said.
The disturbance looked like frothy waves and foam, as if the water were boiling.
He said in the interview.
He was, he said, pretty weirded out.
The two fighter jets then conferred with the operations officer on the Princeton and were told to head to a rendezvous point 60 miles away called the Cat Point in aviation parlance.
They were en route and closing in when the Princeton radioed again.
Radar had again picked up the strange aircraft.
Sir, you won't believe it, the radio operator said, but that thing is at your Cat Point.
We were at least 40 miles away and in less than a minute this thing was already at our Cat Point, Commander Fravor, who has since retired from the Navy, said in the interview.
By the time the two fighter jets arrived at the rendezvous point, the object had disappeared.
Spooky.
Mysterious.
Anomalous.
Mm-hmm.
According to Fravor, the object seemed to move in ways that violated the laws of physics, rapidly accelerating and stopping unexplainably.
There have been many other New York Times articles that have been written about this subject, generally with the same slant, that maybe, I don't know, they could be aliens.
While the evidence of the anomalies themselves, especially considering the eyewitness testimony on this sort of thing, cannot hope to be your strongest piece of evidence, doesn't really seem to be a slam dunk on that subject.
Fravor's story is pretty consistent, and there isn't a definite explanation for what the infrared footage that accompanied the article, for instance, could have meant.
If the most important component of the New York Times' broader argument about UFOs kind of sort of maybe being aliens is their claim that the Pentagon has begun to take investigations into UFOs more seriously.
Their primary source for much of this comes from Luis Elizondo.
Who was head of a small program called Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification that ran from 2007 until 2012, and according to Elizondo, until at least 2017, which was specifically made to track these instances of UFOs.
Elizondo's testimony about this program existing was backed up by the man who gave the program funding, former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who reportedly got the idea to fund investigations into UFOs from his billionaire friend, Rob Bigelow, who, I may add, also won a contract to manage the program.
He was also the guy who bought Skinwalker Ranch because he wanted to send science teams in to harness the extraterrestrial slash paranormal power that, you know, was claimed to be observed there.
Right, so it's, you know, nothing, in a certain sense, nothing new.
Pilled billionaires having an effect in government.
Mm-hmm.
Elizondo had publicly resigned from the Pentagon before being interviewed for the New York Times story, condemning the institution's lack of desire to investigate UFOs.
Yet there is reason to be somewhat skeptical about this man's claims considering the grandiosity of these UFO sightings, and the Pentagon investigations relate to them.
To quote from an NYMAG piece by Jeff Wise, When Elizondo spoke to The Times, he had left government and was promoting the launch of a new venture called To The Stars Academy of Arts and Science, a website that is trying to crowdsource donations to study paranormal phenomenon.
Before The Times told his story, To The Stars' main shareholder, former Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge, had previously promoted the venture on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
Current member now.
They're back.
They're back.
I just want to make sure everybody's up to date on what Tom DeLonge is doing.
He's back with the boys.
Mark survived cancer.
They're back together.
New album recently on tour.
They're doing good.
He's exposing UFOs and he's back with the boys.
Thank you for bringing ethics to journalism.
It seems like one of the main reasons why attention towards getting the Pentagon to investigate UFOs, both by the general public as well as by lawmakers, has been a result of these New York Times stories.
It was mentioned as justification for adding UAP transparency into Trump's 2020 COVID bill, for instance, and has been mentioned multiple times in House meetings on the subject.
While the Pentagon did release a report attempting to explain a collection of UAP sightings, which was a result of this bill from 2020 requiring them to, they unfortunately refused to admit that they were caused by aliens.
And so there has been continued pressure by lawmakers to ensure the Pentagon discloses what they know about these sightings in more detail.
I mean, I'm sure maybe their hiding, you know, is the Pentagon.
I don't know.
My understanding is that these aren't definitive evidence that there are aliens out there.
Boo!
Boo!
It's not fun.
I know.
I'm sorry.
One recent example of this influence being a hearing that took place in the U.S. House on November 13th, which was titled Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, Exposing the Truth.
The hearing contained the testimony of four supposed experts and whistleblowers, one of whom was the previously mentioned Elizondo.
The most far-reaching claims from this panel came from one Michael Schellenberger, a journalist who founded the Substack page Public, who's argued that the Pentagon continues to run a large, secretive program called Immaculate Constellation.
Yeah, it's clever.
It's funny.
He published a report on his Substack page detailing the many supposed instances of UFOs documented by the Pentagon in this secretive program.
So the main claim of all of the whistleblowers, the people speaking, is that these phenomena are much larger reaching than the public is aware of.
And the Pentagon knows that and it is taking it seriously and is investigating it.
And maybe it's aliens.
I want to believe you are Scully right now, which I guess is cool.
Scully's cool.
But also, you know, you're really fucking you're really pooping our party here.
That is the thing about aliens as a conspiracy is that you don't have to be pilled.
It's one of the big conspiracy things that you don't have to be pilled.
Like the crossover there is not necessary in the way that a lot of other conspiracies are because it is just like, I want to believe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, you want to believe that it's true.
Well, there are clearly some lawmakers who want to put more pressure on the Pentagon to reveal more information about what they know about UFOs.
Some lawmakers are, of course, more pilled than others.
And perhaps the most pilled individual to attend this House meeting was one Lauren Boebert, who had some very interesting questions for the witnesses.
She starts her five minute questioning period in a very interesting way.
Thank you.
I'd like to recognize Ms. Boebert for five minutes of questioning.
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Now that we have all been cautioned in this committee hearing that the mention of Pentagon's Immaculate Constellation Program could put us on a list, well, I already find myself on many lists, I'm sure.
So I speak my mind often, so why not just keep going with it?
May as well just go all out and say it.
The Earth is flat.
Birds are government drones.
And we've never sat on foot on the moon.
And Joe Biden received 81 million votes in the 2020 election.
So let's just see how many how many lists we could get on here today.
Oh, no.
She's definitely on the very short list of people who've been finger banged in front of the Beetlejuice musical.
Well, honestly, watching this whole thing, it is so funny, like, the way that she carries herself, given that she is just a massive fucking idiot, that it's like, I'm serious now.
I'm one of the important lawmakers.
My questions matter.
What is her point there, like, that all the things she just said were true?
Like, is she actually, like, a flat earther?
No, I think it's really a lot of these right-wingers, like, they just get mad when they're told, hey, that thing that you're saying is stupid, we proved it wrong.
And that encourages them to say it, irrespective of whether it's evidence.
They get mad for being shamed for saying stupid things.
I think maybe the bit is also that she's saying things that are wrong because she said Biden got 81 million votes.
Yeah, that is the bit, yeah.
Which, like, doesn't really make sense in relation to what she's saying, which is that, like, you get put on a list for saying the things that are...
She's incredibly proud of, like, what she's written, clearly.
I love it.
It's the thing where, like, right-wingers get too mad to make an actually consistent joke.
Like, she couldn't help but talk about how mad she is about the 2020 election still.
People keep putting me on the dum-dum list.
Yeah.
Burbert is so incredibly ready to derail this already sort of ridiculous House hearing with the level of pilledness that none of the aliens or real truthers are possibly prepared for.
She goes on to ask them a question related to certain rumors she's heard about the Department of Defense.
There are rumors that have come up to The Hill...
Of a secretive project within the Department of Defense involving the manipulation of human genetics with what is described as non-human genetic material, potentially for the enhancement of human capabilities, hybrids.
Are any of you familiar with that?
Yes or no?
No, ma'am.
I am not, ma'am.
I am not.
No, ma'am.
Liars!
No.
I commented on this one on Twitter, because my mind was like, well, you know what?
If you were a member of Congress, and if you heard this rumor, wouldn't you ask?
If you had the guys in front of you, and they are under oath, It doesn't hurt to ask.
Maybe the answer is no in this case.
I guess the answer is no.
But like, you know, maybe they would say, all right, you got us.
Let's take you to the lab.
Yeah, we'll show you the super soldiers.
Yes, let's all the spliced half alien, half human humanoids are.
Here they are.
She's a real one for that.
Yeah, this is some Alex Jones-ass shit.
The entire five minutes of Bobo's time in this particular hearing is mostly her tossing the most pilled possible questions to these four guys and them all generally responding that they're unaware of whatever pilled phenomena she's asking about.
Like, they're at a certain level of pilled and she's trying to push them up more and they are not really particularly budging on it.
But Bobo is particularly interested in instances of UAPs that happen over water, asking Schellenberger about these instances.
Lady came on a line of questioning that soon makes it pretty clear how Boebert has baked UAP sightings like the previously mentioned Tic Tac.
I believe that there is a concerted effort by the Pentagon to keep Congress out of the loop regarding these UAP activities, specifically in our waters.
Yes.
I think it's about 5% of our ocean that's actually been studied in detail by man, and we've studied more of space than we had of our own oceans.
And so are there any accounts of UAPs emerging from Or submerging into our water, which could indicate a base or presence beneath the ocean's surface.
I don't know about a base, but as I mentioned, I had a different source entirely describe this pretty extraordinary footage that exists of an orb coming out of the ocean and being met by another orb.
Wow.
Two orbs.
She's deep in her alien lore.
You have to get pretty...
Pretty deep in to know about or to ask about the Bermuda Triangle base.
There's this conspiracy theory that there's a base in the Bermuda Triangle that sort of makes, like, creates...
It's run by artificial intelligence, and it creates UFOs, like, a la carte.
Like, sometimes it'll make discs, sometimes it'll make TikTok-looking ones that are kind of, you know, on a case-by-case basis of what they need the craft to do, whether it's taking data or whatever.
But, like, you have to get...
Kind of deep into UFO lore to even know to ask about that.
So this really shows how deep down the rabbit hole I think Boebert is when it comes to UFOs.
I just can't wait for her to give input on, like, Antarctic drilling and bring up, like, the Nazi base.
Yeah.
Maybe she'll get in the way, which would be nice.
Oh, interesting.
I feel like they might do that, this Trump admin.
You're gonna do some weird, like, archaeology stuff in Tibet to, like, find out the nature of the Aryan race, where it started from.
Yeah.
Are we going to, like, once again have QAA podcasts, like, dictate reality somehow where Trump taps Flynn to, like, go find the Holy Grail or some shit, like, sends Flynn and his boy on, like, some weird, like, religious archaeology thing?
I don't know what I would do if that happened.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're going to get everything.
Atlantis, the lost city of Z, the Antarctic alien slash Nazi base.
We are about to discover a lot of things.
We're about to get so many relics, you have no idea.
So many relics will be dug up by Flynn and his boy, his big boy, and they're going, we'll send them everywhere.
I'm tapping Roger from Mod Fossil University.
We're going to be digging up giants, large penises, big fish, okay?
And we're gonna get the Flynn's to do it.
On the negative side, we've got demons.
Jake?
Well folks, here we are.
November the 20th, the year 2024 of our Lord, and right-wing TV personalities are still being attacked by Dybbuk's in the middle of the night, while resting peacefully next to their dogs and wives.
The latest victim, Tucker Carlson, the former Fox News host turned Twitter personality.
Tucker claims that he wasn't too much of a read your Bible type of guy until about a year and a half ago when he was clawed in the middle of the night by a creature.
Do you think the presence of evil is kick-starting people to wonder about the good?
That's what happened to me.
That's what happened to you?
Oh yeah, I had a direct experience with it.
In the milieu of journalism?
Nope.
In my bed at night and I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs in the bed and mauled.
Physically mauled.
In a spiritual attack by a demon?
Yeah, by a demon.
Or by something unseen that left claw marks on my sides.
So it left physical marks?
Oh, they're still there.
Yeah, yeah.
A year and a half ago.
Okay, I really do wish he was mauled.
Yeah, I wish he was attacked by a demon.
I wish demons did exist and that I could summon them.
Because I'm not getting attacked by demons.
The demon I was attacked by is my wife riding four dogs.
Well, and speaking of, the way that that clip is edited, it kind of looks like Tucker is shooting one of his dogs.
Like, he does the gunshot, and then you hear, like, a dog go like...
Like, it's very strange.
But yeah, I mean, look, I have a tiny little papillon.
He weighs about...
14 pounds.
When he, like, tries to get out of it, and of course, he's really cute, so we scoop him up and we want to put him in the bed, but he doesn't want to be in the bed, so he will jump over me to get out of the bed.
And when he does, I end up with all sorts of demon marks, claw scratches, bruises, all sorts of stuff.
And Tucker has four dogs in the bed with him.
That's all I gotta say about this.
Is this dog having a bad dream?
He's trying to run away and he scratched you.
I was attacked by Paris Hilton's toy dog!
But like, this whole clip is really funny.
Just to describe it for the listener, there's all this B-roll of Tucker pouring coffee in his log cabin house and blowing out little candles on a chandelier.
And as the interview continues, Tucker tells the interviewer that he was never really a big faith guy, and he has a negative opinion of Catholic priests, but for some reason, after being clawed in his bed by a demonic entity, he had an overwhelming desire to read the Bible.
And I gotta say, this kind of strikes me a little bit like the people who are like, oh, I voted for Obama two times, you know, both times, and then I voted for Trump.
Like, just being like, look, I was never really a religious guy at all, never even looked at the Bible, really, until, you know, this.
This is about as believable as Russell Brand's turn.
What was the next day like?
Well, the next morning I woke up and I thought that was the weirdest dream I've ever had.
And then I saw blood on my sheets and I realized that was not a dream at all.
I called my assistant and was like the only evangelical Christian I know, you know, well enough to call with something bizarre like that, totally bizarre like that.
And she said, oh yeah, no, no, that happens.
Yeah, people are attacked in their bed by demons.
What?
What are you even talking about?
Yeah.
So, I mean, I'm not leaving anything out and I'm not pretending to understand that I can only say what happened to me and that did happen to me.
And then I was seized with this...
Very intense desire to read the Bible.
I called the most insane person I know to ask him what happened.
Yeah, my assistant just so happens to be evangelical Christian.
I don't know any of these people except my assistant who I hired.
This is so funny because it's like, I'm just a simple country lumberjack.
I'm not at all a frozen dinner heir raised with a silver spoon in my mouth.
I'm actually just a simple lumberjack who gets attacked by demons like the rest of you.
Yeah.
So I have to say, if this is real at all, and not one of Tucker's four dogs that kicked him in the middle of the night, this was definitely a situation where the demons were trying to drag Tucker Carlson to hell, like at the end of Ghost, and he somehow escaped.
Shortly following the clip's release, various types of Ghostbusters quickly weighed in to validate Tucker's experience as Steve Gonzalez, one of the original paranormal investigators on the popular sci-fi channel show Ghost Hunters, called into TMZ to weigh in on Tucker's attack.
Oh, sure.
We figured it out.
It's the ghost of Roger Ailes.
I saw that clip and know that he does have an interest in that, and he is quite religious.
And that experience is something I've heard a lot of people talk about, very much similar to what he experienced.
I myself had an experience quite similar to that, where it feels like something is entering you, even through your nose and out your mouth, and there's a bit of a swirling effect to it.
Would you consider that a demon?
If you're religious, yeah, probably.
You would probably consider that a demon.
For people who aren't quite religious, it could just be really nasty energy that you wouldn't think of as coming from the devil himself.
Is this like an incubus situation?
Like something is entering you?
Well, the way he describes it is pretty bizarre.
He's like entering through your nose and out your mouth and swirls around it.
It does sound a little bit sexual the way the Ghostbuster is talking about it, but it sounds like Tucker's experience was somewhat different.
As portrayed in the movie Ghostbusters, I was sucked off by an alien.
While wearing an admiral suit.
On the YouTube channel Capturing Christianity, host Cameron Bertuzzi speaks with Father Carlos Martins, a Catholic priest and professional exorcist, to discuss exactly what type of demonic attack Tucker's experience would fall under.
The priest comes on and explains that it sounds like Tucker has been vexed.
This term originates from a line in the King James Version of the Bible, quote, vexed with devils, meaning, quote, that a person is under the torment, influence, or control of unclean spirits.
Oh yeah, spirits that consume seed oils.
Such an attack would be what we call a vexation.
Tucker Carlson appears to have been vexed.
So a vexation is a physical attack from the outside, or it can be a mental attack from the inside, where the individual is attacked briefly.
Claw marks.
A coffee cup being thrown across the room.
A painting falling off the wall, maybe a second one falling, perhaps a third.
They're brief physical attacks, when they're physical.
They can be brief bursts of anger at somebody, an embarrassing comment that you had no intention of saying, but they're over briefly.
They're kind of instantaneous attacks, and they may never happen again.
Right, yeah.
When I say something abusive to my wife, or I throw a coffee cup across the room...
Now, this isn't the first time that Tucker Carlson has gone public with some of his more out-there spiritual beliefs.
In April of this year, Tucker sat down on the Joe Rogan podcast and talked about everything from spiritual warfare being real to UFOs being driven by angels instead of aliens.
Now, I'd assume this demon attack clip, which has been going around with lots of people commenting on it, had come from a, like, similarly pilled podcast or YouTube show or something, but it's actually a promotional clip for a documentary called Christianities?
With a question mark at the end.
Now, here's where things get very unsettling and also hilarious.
Christianities appears to be a crowdfunded Christian docuseries in the vein of Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown with a far less talented but equally eccentric host.
As far as I can tell, the movie's Indiegogo campaign closed sometime in September of this year after raising $138,000 of its $350,000 goal.
It was a flexible campaign, so the filmmakers still got the money even though they did not hit their goal.
Here's a short clip from the trailer.
Julian, you're gonna love it.
What is a Christian?
Gaggy Margils.
I kind of do this for a living when you're My name's John Hears, and this is our restaurant.
And in this restaurant, we throw this Georgian Supra.
It's a dinner, and it elicits all these toasts and ideas and emotions.
And inevitably, the question comes up, What is a Christian?
What is a Christian that takes a shot?
He takes like two shots, but it's like he's trying to be like Anthony Bourdain.
You know what I mean?
Like kind of like, I'm a rough and tumble guy looking around.
Look, I own a restaurant.
Look, we have fun.
We do toast.
I'm Richard Gambolini.
Like it's of course a character that I would find.
Mm-hmm.
So this guy was too much of a character, not for me to be intrigued.
I googled his name and discovered that he's the founder of something called First Things Foundation.
And I went to their website and it appears to be like a tech bro version of a Christian missionary that also sources funding for community projects in other countries.
However, there's no specific mention of religion at all on their website.
The ideology is like incredibly secular and vague, although they are actively looking for field workers to spend two years of their life infiltrating small communities in impoverished neighborhoods abroad.
So this is from their website.
Julian, will you read it?
It is a nonprofit that works on four continents serving local folks stuck in deep poverty.
We take a bet that if you listen to local people and you stay with them, eating local food and getting local diseases and learning the local language, not just the colonial language, well, if you do these things, you will find amazing people who know what it takes to make their community flourish.
We call these people impresarios.
We consult with these people on their best ideas, build their capacity to grow, and then connect them to resources.
All kinds of resources.
We are missionaries, but not the kind you think of right off the bat.
We are service-minded, old-world-leaning, lovers of creativity and authentic development.
We are practitioners of sacrifice.
And the sacrifice?
Our field workers leave their lives and spend two years far away from home living in mud huts and family abodes, imbibing the life of those we aim to serve.
Currently, we are in the Republic of Georgia, Sierra Leone, Mozambique, and Guatemala.
Okay, well, I do believe they imbibe the life of those things, sir.
Yeah, it sounds like it's a good thing, but this guy, I just can't, there's something shady about this.
I was just, I kind of went down the rabbit hole and was like going through their website, and I went in, there's a whole section on the site that talks about like what a field worker is, and it's like, I included a little screenshot for you guys, and it's like, are you?
Ready?
Dedicate.
Two years of service.
It kind of feels like a Scientology sort of vibe to me, but according to the website, the field worker position has two phases over the course of two years.
Phase one.
The first phase of a field worker's two years is what we call the immersion ship.
This is the time when we learn the local language, lend a hand to a few local businesses, and get lost in the rhythm of the culture.
The immersion ship is our way of establishing that we are in the community, not apart from it or over it.
Do you just show up?
Like, I don't, you're just like, hey, I'm gonna live here now.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
Yeah, I mean, missionaries, pretty shitty stuff in general.
And then it goes to phase two, and it goes, the sacrifices that the field worker makes during the immersion ship fuel the collaboration and creativity during the second phase of service.
The thing we call the creation ship.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
The immersion ship is a natural stepping stone to being a valuable asset to the community we are planted in.
Planted in is not a great— Shut the fuck up.
Fuck yourself.
Is not a great language.
Shut the fuck up!
So what I think they're doing, so they show up one day and they pretend like they are somebody that is wanting to experience the culture.
They learn the language, they eat the food, they get drunk, they get sick.
And over time, they suss out people who are like, well, I've got like a business adventure that like I really want to do.
And they're like, oh, you're interested in like Doing something like, well, we can connect you to American resources and funding, but I don't know what the catch is.
I'm sure there's Jesus Christ in there somewhere just because of the guy, but I don't know if they get a kickback or they now own a percentage of whatever.
I mean, whatever it is, it sounds fucking weird.
We're here to exploit you.
This is an exploitation ship, and we're just here to financially exploit you, but Jesus-style.
So this is the guy, by the way, who is interviewing Tucker Carlson in that clip, and it is his movie.
This is all relevant.
So, something about this just felt very weird, especially considering that the website branched off into a Substack and YouTube channel for John Hears, where he portrays himself as, like, a kind of stoner theologian.
And any time a non-profit organization has their hands in philosophy podcasts and Substacks, I get a little weary.
Double that if the founder is also a restaurant owner.
I found another clip of John Hears on his YouTube discussing his upcoming movie, Christianities.
Hey everybody, I'm your host on a journey into the heart of faith called Christianity.
And I'm gonna join up with my boy Steven Downey, the director par excellence.
Check him out.
He's done a lot of amazing stuff from all sides of Hollywood.
And we're gonna go try to figure out what's with all these Christianities.
I'm John.
I'm the founder of First Things.
We have a restaurant.
We do a beautiful dinner.
I get invited to go everywhere.
And when I travel, I see things.
One of the things I see over and over again is so many people have so many different versions of what it means to be a Christian.
Our film It's going to dive deep.
We're going to talk to African princes.
We're going to talk to famous filmmakers.
We're going to talk to theologians in the Reformation tradition, in the Catholic tradition.
We're going to talk to monks.
I got an in with a stylite from the Georgian Republic.
Yeah, it's a guy who stands on a rock and prays, like, all the time.
I don't know if he'll talk to us, but I know how to find him.
He's so drunk, first of all.
Africa is a continent, bitch.
You fucking moron.
God, this guy has the vibe of a very rich guy who hires a very good producer to make his vanity album and just ruins the guy's life for a month.
Yeah, he strikes me as a Hollywood drunk guy, for sure, with a lot of money and a lot of weird ideas, and just as one of those guys that's like, absolutely, we can get it done.
I know a real good guy.
I know a guy, he sits on top of a rock and prays all the time.
I'm going to make a movie about him.
Christianity!
Tucker Carlson!
Wait, wait a second.
Is this like missionary Christopher Walken?
He's like halfway between Christopher Walken and Barney Rubble from The Simpsons.
At any minute, I expect him to belch loudly and be like, oh yeah, on to the next one!
Yeah, I would love to hear from this guy's ex-wives or like anybody who's ever fucked this guy probably has some amazing stories to tell.
If you're a transgender woman and you slept with my DMs, you probably already followed me.
Like, let me know.
Yeah, I'm thinking you're like a transgender ship and we're about to enter the fuck ship.
Yeah, so once again, like, a seemingly innocent research about Tucker Carlson being touched by a demon has led me to find, like, another guy.
Like, and he's got a movie that's coming out.
There's no release date as far as I know on Christianity's question mark.
But he got $138,000 to go do it, and he's probably gonna squeeze some poor community in Mozambique for another $138, you know, to do the post.
So, uh...
I'm sure lots of good things to come from this guy.
Buddy, you should swing a rope over a tree branch and f*** yourself.
Not even trying to hide it.
So, yeah, it's worth noting that this guy has a very small YouTube channel, maybe 4,000 subscribers or so.
So I think this Tucker clip going viral could be, like, a huge opportunity for John.
I guess we'll see.
And see we will, finally.
I'm a fellow listener.
I guess I'm a listener during the Other People segments.
I don't know how I came up with that one, but now it's too late to not put it in.
And, um, well, at least it's not a death threat, right?
Gotta be grateful for the small things.
Sure.
Jake, how did you get a Starbucks coffee when you're sick?
This is a plastic, reusable, washable thing so that I can feel like I went to Starbucks, but actually I made my coffee at home.
Jake is like trying to check off like every single like Zionist brand, like all the brands on the BDS list.
Who else I got?
Can I talk to you about the McRib, which technically I shouldn't even be able to eat because I'm Jewish.
Oh, I don't care about that.
But I still want to promote McDonald's.
I don't care about that.
We love it, folks.
And we hate Israel.
Anyways, thank you so much for listening to another episode of the QAA Podcast.
You can go to patreon.com slash QAA and subscribe for five buccarinis.
Nope, that's annoying as hell.
Five bucks a month to get a whole second episode every week, plus access to our entire archive of premium episodes.
For everything else, we have a website, qaapodcast.com.
No.
It's not.
No.
What is it?
Wrong.
Dot jizz.
Nope.
Nope.
That'll lead them somewhere very bad.
QAA podcast dot porno tube.
No, no, no.
You'll probably find some AI generated videos of what won't be my feet.
No, no, no.
That's another threat.
And this time, it's not even somebody who deserves it.
It's the listeners who you're talking to, the wonderful people who make this possible.
So that would be QAAPodcast.com.
C-O-N. C-O-M. And...
God!
And if this is any indication of what the next four years are going to look like, I worry for all of your mental health, as well as ours.
We're quickly disintegrating.
Listener, until next week, may the deep dish bless you, and keep ship you ship.
What?
Yeah, creation ship, man.
Oh, and keep ship, you ship.
A creation ship.
Hey, buddy, I think you should ship yourself.
We have auto-keyed content based on your preferences.
I am excited to share all of these stories in order to offer us something in this time, this meaning crisis, when all the stuff we've ever wanted is in our hands and within our grasp, but all the stuff we've ever needed has flown away on us.
It's ebbed away, and that is profound relationship with the transcendent.
Our film is going to be beautiful.
It's not some logical argument made, A, B, C, hence, now you're a Christian.
No, this is an attempt to sit, drink, eat, and wonder with people about what's happened with all these Christianians.
We have to go find out.
And I can't wait to do it hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm, up the mountains, around the world, and figure out what's going on with all these Christianities.
