PERVERTS Episode 9: Goop feat Anna Merlan (Sample)
GOOP GOOP GOOP GOOP GOOP GOOP GOOP GOOP. GOOP. Anna Merlan — senior staff writer at Vice and author of REPUBLIC OF LIES — joins us to explore Gwyneth Paltrow's Gooposphere including her Netflix show Love, Sex & Goop. Plus Liv and Julian take a quizz to figure out their "erotic blueprints".
For access to the full episode (+ all miniseries + all premium QAA episodes) go to https://patreon.com/qaa and subscribe for just $5 a month.
Anna Merlan: https://twitter.com/annamerlan / https://annamerlan.net/
Liv Agar: https://linktr.ee/livagar
Theme by Nick Sena. Additional music by Pontus Berghe. Editing by Corey Clotz.
And this is the Perverts Podcast, where we venture into horny online subcultures and take you along for the ride.
So what's your wellness routine look like now?
A day in the life of JF?
Well, as you may or may not know, I am a full disciple of Dr. Will Cole.
I'm paleo.
So in keeping with what Will Cole prescribed live, I eat dinner early in the evening.
I try to eat 6 or 6.30 so I'm really done eating by 7.
And then I do a nice intermittent fast until I usually eat something at about 12.
Well, in the morning I'll have some things that won't spike my blood sugar, right?
So I have coffee, I'll have celery juice with lemon, lemon water, but I really just use the morning.
And for me, it's important because, as you know, I have trouble with methylation.
So my body is not a natural detoxer.
I'm not good at it.
A lot of people, it's absolutely a part of their biology and process.
I'm not one of those people.
So I get impacted by things more heavily.
And then I exercise in the morning.
I take my binders in the morning.
I take binders for, again, like poor methylation.
I'm still dealing with some mold, even though it's probably good by now.
I would think it's in the past.
I think it's in the past.
And I try to do one hour of movement.
So either I'll take a walk or I'll do Pilates or I'll do my Tracy Anderson.
Then I do my infrared sauna for 30 minutes.
Not every day.
Some days I can't.
I don't have time.
Or sometimes I'll do the higher dose of infrared blanket if I'm not home.
For me, it's really important for me to support my detox because I have fucked up methylation.
And then for lunch, I have something.
I really like having a soup for lunch.
In fact, I have one, a new soup at Goop Kitchen, which is like this green soup that I warm up.
It comes cold, so it kind of retains a lot of vibrancy.
But I really like soup for lunch.
I have bone broth for lunch a lot of the days.
And then for dinner I have, uh... Oh, I forgot the part about my wellness practices.
I do TM meditation for 20 minutes every morning before the coffee.
And then for dinner, I try to eat according to paleo, so lots of vegetables.
I live in California, so there are farmer markets all over, which is such a blessing.
Like, all the vegetables.
Things that are in season from local farms, and then any kind of fish or birds.
And then I try to get a little bit clever with carbohydrates.
So, sweet potato noodles, or we make tacos with the Seattle grain-free tacos, the yucasaba.
And I find the more that I get into the habit of not trying to look, it was harder at first when I thought, I'm gonna have to eliminate all the joys and pleasures.
And it's not true.
Like, there's so many ingredients that are packed with flavor.
Chilis and herbs and lemon.
And you know, you can really, like, especially with Mexican food or with Asian flavors, like, you would know.
I think if you ate dinner at my house, like, most people when my friends come over, they have no idea what they're eating.
Like, healthy food, you know?
Or that it's paleo.
It's just good, nutritious, yummy food.
Yes.
As you're recording this right now, you have a little IV, which is on brand for both of us.
Why, how do you have an IV at the same time?
This is really embarrassing for me right here.
But look, you're a busy person.
You're running a company.
So like, do you do IVs very often?
I love an IV.
I'm an early IV adopter.
And especially because, you know, from other genetic stuff, like, I tend to be lower on certain vitamins or glutathione.
I love to have an IV, kind of a random, more fringy one.
Phosphatidylcholine.
That's my favorite IV when I can find them.
They're quite hard to find.
Yeah, it was hard to find.
And those make me feel so good.
And you know what else makes me feel good?
What?
The fact that we're recording another episode of Perverts about goop, and that our guest is Anna Merland, senior staff writer at Vice and author of Republic of Lies.
Welcome, Anna.
Thank you, I think, for having me.
This is maybe the first time where I'm like absolutely certain we've tortured our guest in advance.
Really, you're correct.
I really regret this deeply.
Yeah, we're going to be getting into the fact that yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow somehow made a like sex goop show in 2022.
So bear with me through stuff that could be just considered perverted in a general sense before we get to many different interesting things, including finding out what sexual blueprint Liv and I fit of the five types, which is going to be interesting.
It's perverted in the sense that it's, like, wrong, you know?
Like, not in the sense of the other episodes.
Yeah, like, it feels worse on the inside for me.
But, you know, I'm sure somebody's gonna write in.
Because, somehow, making fun of Skyrim sex mods with big-tittied women called, like, The Breeder, Dragon Master, or whatever, got people angry at us.
That was, like, the last one, but, you know what?
I should never underestimate our little perverts out there.
You guys are into all kinds of cute stuff.
And we love your messages.
Yes, we do.
Yeah, if Skyrim Cut Cage mod got people mad, then surely there are goop users.
There's 100% gonna be some goop people.
There's a sizable portion of the audience is just like crossing their fingers every week to be like, please, not mine.
Yes, 100%.
Some seemed like, my favorite audience members, And this is this is for you out there.
You're my favorites.
My little favorites are the ones who want people to cover like they want us to cover their thing because they have a sense of humor about it.
They're into it, but they also know it's funny and want to be made fun of, which might Just me and they actually just have a whole second thing about being made fun of.
Very possible.
I don't know.
We're just caught in a web of kinks and desire and anger and frustration and I just wanted you guys to come with us on this trip and find out more about yourselves and possibly Liv and I because Anna's definitely not doing the test with us.
She did not look at it.
She's like, fun no.
Before the jade vagina eggs, the pussy scented candles, and the coffee enemas, there was goop.
And before goop, there was GP, which is what people call Gwyneth Paltrow.
In 2008, the actress started writing a newsletter, which she named after herself.
You'll notice that goop starts with a G and ends with a P. The two O's came from somebody telling Paltrow that all successful internet companies contained these twin vowels.
Thus, goop was born.
Did you know that, Liv?
That's insane.
I thought it was just, you know, the substance.
No!
Because they got some goopy products.
They do, but she started with Gwyneth Paltrow and then she oo'd in the middle of her goop-a and now goop.
This is like the brand equivalent of those like, like really rich guys who named their like kids like Augustus or whatever.
Because they realize, like, oh, people with weird names do really well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, Oprah is just easier.
You just name it O, and you're already basically, like, you're every good thing about wellness.
It's a circle.
It's holistic.
It's perfect.
Oprah's perfect.
And Gwyneth Paltrow could never.
She's jealous.
At first, the Goop newsletter included recipes and a guide to living like the actress, or more specifically, a guide to visiting the same businesses Paltrow frequented and purchasing the same products and services that she enjoyed.
What differentiated Goop from other such newsletters and magazine sections was its inaccessibility.
Here's from a 2018 New York Times Magazine article by Taffy Broaddesser-Akner.
"GP didn't want to go broad. She wanted you to have what she had, the $795 G-Label trench coat
and the $1,505 Bettany Vernon S&M chainset. Why mass-market a lifestyle that lives in
definitional opposition to the mass market? Goop's ethic was this,
that having beautiful things sometimes costs money."
Finding beautiful things was sometimes a result of an immense privilege, but a lack of that privilege didn't mean you shouldn't have those things.
Besides, just because some people can't afford it, doesn't mean that no one can, and that no one should want it.
If this bothered anyone, well, the newsletter content was free, and so were the recipes for turkey wagyu and banana nut muffins.
This is one of the most amazing passages.
A lack of that privilege didn't mean you shouldn't have those things.
Yeah, why let not being able to afford a thing stop you from having it?
That's so gauche.
I mean, it's honestly just, you're undervaluing yourself and you don't have, what do they call it, an abundance mindset.
It's honestly elitist to not sell people $800 vibrating necklaces.
By 2013, Goop was incorporated.
It would grow to become a quote, clothing manufacturer, beauty company, an advertising hub, a publishing house, a podcast producer, a portal of health and healing information, and a TV show producer.
Along the way, Goop became interested in women's private parts.
This included their minds and their souls, but also their pussies and assholes.
In 2015, Paltrow first got flack for recommending vaginal steaming, specifically the Mugwort V-Steam from the Tikkun Spa in Los Angeles, which I'm not familiar with, but I'm gonna have to go and check this out.
I wonder if they offer like a testicle steam for men.
Yeah, surely.
Definitely.
There's actually a women's spa here in LA where you can sit in a mugwort tub, and I'm very sorry that you cannot experience it because it is really nice.
Oh, that sounds nice.
I mean, that sounds more like witchy, like you're making a broth.
Who would not want to sit in a vat of tea?
It's great.
Unless you're allergic to mugwort, which I've had two friends realize while they're sitting in the tub.
Which is not great.
It's not great.
Anyway.
You've been listening to a sample of The Pervert's Podcast.
To get access to this miniseries as well as previous QAA miniseries and the entire archive of premium episodes, go to patreon.com slash QAA and subscribe for just five bucks a month.
